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BonoMan
Feb 20, 2002


Jade Ear Joe

We turn a year next month. Currently in:

Still haven't slept a full night SINCE loving BIRTH (we've had 3 nights with a 4 hour stretch).
Suddenly hates to be changed, dressed, whatever the gently caress.
Suddenly YANKS head back to smash into the nearest hard surface.
Cosleeps but screams himself awake at 7 am every single morning (literally 100% of all mornings, like he's in pain... but once you actually pick him up and get him up he's perfectly fine).

mode.


We're dying over here. DYING.

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KingColliwog
May 15, 2003

Let's go droogs

BonoMan posted:

We turn a year next month. Currently in:

Still haven't slept a full night SINCE loving BIRTH (we've had 3 nights with a 4 hour stretch).
Suddenly hates to be changed, dressed, whatever the gently caress.
Suddenly YANKS head back to smash into the nearest hard surface.
Cosleeps but screams himself awake at 7 am every single morning (literally 100% of all mornings, like he's in pain... but once you actually pick him up and get him up he's perfectly fine).

mode.


We're dying over here. DYING.

Our twins didn't sleep for almost 2 years, I know the pain.
Suddenly hating to be changed happened to all 3 of our kids. Thankfully it goes back to normal after some time (can't recall how long it took, something between a month and a thousand years)
One of the twins smashed his head on the bathtub volontarily and broke a tooth.

Congratulate yourself everyday that you don't throw him out the window. Parenting is way too hard. You're doing good if you still try to keep them healthy and happy!

Mat Cauthon
Jan 2, 2006

The more tragic things get, the more I feel like laughing.

Fallen Rib

BonoMan posted:

Suddenly YANKS head back to smash into the nearest hard surface.

My 19 month old does this still. It is infuriating and worrying to a degree that I can't really communicate in words. On the plus side my reflexes have never been better, having to constantly intercede to prevent my child from cracking his skull on any given corner, doorway, piece of furniture, etc about half a dozen times a day.

There should be a parkour component to LaMaze classes, that would have been more useful than all the breathing stuff.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Try the Ferber method for sleep training. That ten days will be the worst in your life but at the end of it you will have a little one that sleeps through the night.

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007



Wow, I had no idea we had a parenting thread. Do we do introductions here?? I have a 16 month old and a 4 month old and while we are still some ways off from them sharing a room, I'm curious as to the logistics of it. Anyone here have such experience?

nachos
Jun 27, 2004

Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


VanSandman posted:

Try the Ferber method for sleep training. That ten days will be the worst in your life but at the end of it you will have a little one that sleeps through the night.

We did this and now our 5 month old sleeps independently and completely through the night without feeds which is a loving miracle. Except now because we arenít allowed to help her back to sleep her naps are complete rear end and maybe 10% of them are longer than 30 minutes. And because sheís sleeping so little during the day, we have to put her to bed early at night, which causes 5:30am waking, and then another day of garbage naps.

I read everywhere that 6 months is when nap magic happens so hopefully in a few weeks itíll sort itself out. Honestly it feels like we traded one set of problems for a slightly better set and personally Iíd rather wake up 1-2 times at night if it meant longer daytime naps.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

nachos posted:

We did this and now our 5 month old sleeps independently and completely through the night without feeds which is a loving miracle. Except now because we arenít allowed to help her back to sleep her naps are complete rear end and maybe 10% of them are longer than 30 minutes. And because sheís sleeping so little during the day, we have to put her to bed early at night, which causes 5:30am waking, and then another day of garbage naps.

I read everywhere that 6 months is when nap magic happens so hopefully in a few weeks itíll sort itself out. Honestly it feels like we traded one set of problems for a slightly better set and personally Iíd rather wake up 1-2 times at night if it meant longer daytime naps.

Oh yeah we didn't attempt it until we were down to one nap a day around 10 months old.

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

Elektronik
Supersonik


KingColliwog posted:

Parenting Megathread: Congratulate yourself everyday that you don't throw them out the window.

BonoMan
Feb 20, 2002


Jade Ear Joe

VanSandman posted:

Try the Ferber method for sleep training. That ten days will be the worst in your life but at the end of it you will have a little one that sleeps through the night.

We've started and stopped a couple of times. Usually because he magically gets sick whenever we start so we couldn't continue through with it.

Also whenever he starts his crying at night he poops. EVERY TIME. I think it's a mechanism he knows will get him picked up and changed (and then usually taken back to our room because it takes forever to get back to sleep).

We'll try again soon.

All of this poo poo is SO much harder with a 5 year old. Naps are always interrupted, it's impossible to get both of them down before 9;30. Just general chaos.

Super Slash
Feb 20, 2006

You rang ?

It's a bank holiday weekend, aces let's use this opportunity to crank out some #1 toilet training over three days!

Day 1, Morning:
I think we went through something like four pairs of shorts/trousers within an hour, I think he only managed to hold it in ready for the toilet once. I had the idea to go every 30 minutes, that rapidly became every 15 minutes, then the pull-ups went back on

Hippie Hedgehog
Feb 19, 2007

Ever cuddled a hedgehog?

Hippie Hedgehog posted:

Edit: Ours (also 18 months) is having some sort of sleep regression, or whatever you want to call it. I suppose it's related to starting pre-school/daycare last week. Some evenings, she flat-out refuses to go to stay in bed after her goodnight storybook. It devolves into a wrestling match where she gets more and more upset, and if I break it up and let her go back out of the bedroom, she just wants to keep playing with her toys or looking through books. (She's too tired, though, so keeps falling over/hurting herself and rubbing her eyes trying to stay awake...) Eventually she gives up but it takes an hour and a half past her normal bedtime. Really sucks the energy out of us when every day has to end on a sour note. I really hope this is over once she gets used to the new daytime environment! Yesterday was fine, but the other nights this past week have been p/ horrible.

Still same stuff, but at least now her shiny new molars have started to show in her upper jaw. I guess I kind of saw it coming. Hopefully she will be OK again any day now.

Blinkz0rz
May 27, 2001

MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS


Super Slash posted:

It's a bank holiday weekend, aces let's use this opportunity to crank out some #1 toilet training over three days!

Day 1, Morning:
I think we went through something like four pairs of shorts/trousers within an hour, I think he only managed to hold it in ready for the toilet once. I had the idea to go every 30 minutes, that rapidly became every 15 minutes, then the pull-ups went back on

Go without pants completely for the first day and set timers, like you did, every 10-15 minutes. There's something about pants/shorts/underwear that feels enough like a diaper that kids just aren't uncomfortable peeing in them when they're first switching.

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

HEY LITTLE SIDNEY WANT TO SEE MY CANNOLI?


Must be really weird as a kid to be used to pissing and making GBS threads yourself whenever you felt like it and then your parents are like ďno you canít do that anymore!Ē! And take away your diapers

laxbro
Apr 20, 2013
Relax.

We also started potty training today with our 2 year old. Sheís actually really good at holding it and was super successful with three pees in the potty this morning but the afternoon was drama filled with her dancing around in circles screaming for a diaper.

She just had a successful pee before bath time so I think the earlier drama was mostly attributed to the post afternoon nap grumps. She is a poo holder that poos every third day (last one was yesterday) so Monday will be apocalyptic when the miralax finally forces her to poo and we ask her to do it in her potty.

laxbro
Apr 20, 2013
Relax.

laxbro posted:

We also started potty training today with our 2 year old. Sheís actually really good at holding it and was super successful with three pees in the potty this morning but the afternoon was drama filled with her dancing around in circles screaming for a diaper.

She just had a successful pee before bath time so I think the earlier drama was mostly attributed to the post afternoon nap grumps. She is a poo holder that poos every third day (last one was yesterday) so Monday will be apocalyptic when the miralax finally forces her to poo and we ask her to do it in her potty.

Never mind she just took a dump on the floor without any drama. We were able to get her on her potty to finish it. Today has been a huge success. Only two accidents and we were able to get her in the potty quickly to finish them off.

The middle of the day was really rough but it turned around.

TacoNight
Feb 18, 2011

Stop, hey, what's that sound?

laxbro posted:

she just took a dump on the floor.... Today has been a huge success.

New thread title?

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


laxbro posted:

Never mind she just took a dump on the floor without any drama. We were able to get her on her potty to finish it. Today has been a huge success. Only two accidents and we were able to get her in the potty quickly to finish them off.

The middle of the day was really rough but it turned around.

Nothing is more the embodiment of chaos as your child, half on the toilet, poop halfway in the toilet, grasping at the loose turd panic singing "clean up, pick up, put away" as you try to just maintain composure and just get any ground on this disaster. Cmon honey I just asked you if you had to poop and you screamed "no", ran to the corner and squated down. I know what your tells are, youre two, you can't lie for poo poo.

Needless to say no potty treats were given for this partial credit dump.

Just Offscreen
Jun 29, 2006



Extremelty vivid dreams where you watch your child drown and can do nothing to stop it is something noone warns you about before you have kids.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Just Offscreen posted:

Extremelty vivid dreams where you watch your child drown and can do nothing to stop it is something noone warns you about before you have kids.

I avoid this by not knowing what drowning looks like.

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

airy tender puffs

Doctor Rope

Just Offscreen posted:

Extremelty vivid dreams where you watch your child drown and can do nothing to stop it is something noone warns you about before you have kids.

Ugh yeah my stress dreams are out of control especially since the pandemic hit.

His 1st bday is in two weeks and my mom is for some reason set on making me feel terrible about the fact we are quarantining during it. I didn't plan this, mom! Maybe try loving off a bit and see if that makes you feel any better?

wizzardstaff
Apr 6, 2018



Waterbed Wendy posted:

Ugh yeah my stress dreams are out of control especially since the pandemic hit.

His 1st bday is in two weeks and my mom is for some reason set on making me feel terrible about the fact we are quarantining during it. I didn't plan this, mom! Maybe try loving off a bit and see if that makes you feel any better?

Keep your head up, good luck. No one should be pressuring you to break quarantine early.

I'm getting some of that pressure too but it's a little more passive. My mom is convinced that she's taking all the right precautions (wearing a mask, not being an rear end in a top hat in public) which makes her one of the "good ones" who "deserves a break" to gather with family. No, your reward is that we don't die of coronavirus!

pmchem
Jan 21, 2010




I'm looking to have my parents record a video record of their life/thoughts while they're still in good health

for suggested questions, I've found these lists:
http://getswitchedonblog.com/questi...d-grandparents/
http://kitindy.com/40-questions-for-your-parents/

Has anyone here done something similar? Any tips? Anyone know of other good question lists for this?

For storage, I'm thinking something simple. Basically smartphone + google drive.

Sipher
Jan 14, 2008
Cryptic

Little guy is 10 weeks old with all the sleep deprivation that entails. On top of that he FIGHTS going to sleep 90% of the time. Wants to stay awake and look at stuff, and will cry hard for the 10-15 minutes it takes to get him to break eye contact with whatever he is staring at and go to sleep. I am losing my mind.

Hippie Hedgehog
Feb 19, 2007

Ever cuddled a hedgehog?

If it's any comfort, it'll get better sooner or later. There's no way to say how long it will be, but I find it can sometimes help if you force yourself to think long-term. The majority of your time with him, he will not be an infant, when you look back.

Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 14:26 on May 26, 2020

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


how do i make mad bucks shilling out my cute rear end baby for photo shoots?

edit- he got a cleft chin and the Gerber Dimples. gotta make some money before puberty comes through and gives him peach fuzz and opinions about TOOL

calandryll
Apr 25, 2003

Ask me where I do my best drinking!



Pillbug

Anyone have recommendations about dealing with nightmares? Our 20 month old has been experiencing a lot of them the last few weeks. I swear she had a night terror one night, she was gripping her bed really tightly and saying stop it while thrashing. My wife has been sleeping in the room with to help reassure our daughter but obviously not the best sleeping arrangement.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007



Needing some advice on a 2 year-old refusing to go to sleep with Mom in the room? If I go in there he crawls into his bed and will go to sleep (after a long time) but with her he doesnít listen so sheís been leaving the room. He just screams at the door and jiggles the handle, and we have been having to sit in there with him until he falls asleep. He just knows I mean business but keeps calling my wife on her apparent bluff and no explanation we give him really sinks in.

Do we just leave him in there and have to be okay with him eventually falling asleep in the floor until he understands she isnít coming back in? It feels like he is trying to out-will us and thinks if he screams long enough one of us will come back in, but we are growing weary of this whole game. Are we doing the right thing by not going back in this time? He doesnít really listen to explanations.

Just Offscreen
Jun 29, 2006



He's 2- he is absoloutely trying to out-will you. And he has a pretty good shot of it too.

We did the walk back method, which was hellish the first few nights but got better.

marchantia
Nov 5, 2009

WHAT IS THIS

life is killing me posted:

Do we just leave him in there and have to be okay with him eventually falling asleep in the floor until he understands she isn’t coming back in? It feels like he is trying to out-will us and thinks if he screams long enough one of us will come back in, but we are growing weary of this whole game. Are we doing the right thing by not going back in this time? He doesn’t really listen to explanations.

There are a few different methods for older kids. One is, yeah, let them figure it out, sleep on the floor a few nights. Another is for a parent to come in on a regular schedule (varies on method/age) to check on the kid and give the same boring message of something like "It's time for our bodies to rest! I love you, goodnight!" and then leave without engaging in any whining our crying until they start to get the idea. Good luck man! drat kids like to keep you on your toes for sure.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy


Grimey Drawer

It's nearly 2:30AM and I haven't gone to sleep yet. My 16 mo is just chilling in my lap.

Whoever said it gets better as they get older is a loving liar.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy


Grimey Drawer

He's trying to push my belly button like a button

Hippie Hedgehog
Feb 19, 2007

Ever cuddled a hedgehog?

Renegret posted:

He's trying to push my belly button like a button

I hope you're making the appropriate beeping noise!

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.


So I was gonna pick up my kids from preschool last night. I get there and Daniel has half buried David in sand, almost his entire lower body was buried in the sandbox. We pulled him out and he lost a shoe. I told them to start digging for the shoe but they did not find it. I joined myself and started digging, later a teacher also joined in but we did not find his bloody shoe. David had to gome with one shoe only.

I hope they have found the missing shoe today when I go pick them up.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Renegret posted:

It's nearly 2:30AM and I haven't gone to sleep yet. My 16 mo is just chilling in my lap.

Whoever said it gets better as they get older is a loving liar.

Have you tried sleep training? It's not something they just know.

Hippie Hedgehog
Feb 19, 2007

Ever cuddled a hedgehog?

VanSandman posted:

Have you tried sleep training? It's not something they just know.

I find that most babies know perfectly well how to go to sleep. They just don't know how to go to sleep alone unless you train them. There is a simple reason for that, it's because evolution has our brains wired up the opposite way. Closeness gives feelings of safety, loneliness gives anxiety.

Even with a perfect sleeper, you will occasionally have terrible nights when they inexplicably (or not so inexplicably) stay up way too late or wake up in the middle of the night. It's not a failure of parenting, and is not necessarily a long-term problem.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007



Just Offscreen posted:

He's 2- he is absoloutely trying to out-will you. And he has a pretty good shot of it too.

We did the walk back method, which was hellish the first few nights but got better.

She did go back in and had to sit by his bed with him. She said the time directly before that, she told firmly to stay in bed and he crawled right over her shoulder and onto the floor. I mean, he listens to me a bit more for some reason, but itís like heís not taking her seriously at all. But she will eventually go in, if not because it breaks her heart but because sheís sick of hearing the endless crying. The kid can hold out awhile.

marchantia posted:

There are a few different methods for older kids. One is, yeah, let them figure it out, sleep on the floor a few nights. Another is for a parent to come in on a regular schedule (varies on method/age) to check on the kid and give the same boring message of something like "It's time for our bodies to rest! I love you, goodnight!" and then leave without engaging in any whining our crying until they start to get the idea. Good luck man! drat kids like to keep you on your toes for sure.

Yeah I donít know what is the right thing. He will probably have to end up sleeping on the floor. He wonít learn any other way. He thinks itís a game and emotionally blackmails us if we are anything but joyful about the fact heís being a little rear end in a top hat and intentionally keeping himself awake. Heís a goddamn tiny little tyrant.

This morning he woke up at 5:45 (went to sleep at 8:30) crying because of course he did, an actual decent amount of sleep is beyond him now apparently. That goes for naps too. He will sleep for 8.5hrs and take a 45min nap and do the same thing all over again. Itís been over two weeks since toddler bed conversion and the only thing that has changed is him realizing he can crawl out of bed easier and antagonize us with crying and make sure we get as little time to ourselves as possible. Like wtf is even with this early wake up poo poo? Early enough to be annoying and late enough that itís futile to try and get him back to sleep.

gently caress.

Blinkz0rz
May 27, 2001

MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS


Why did you switch a 2 year old to a toddler bed? Was he climbing out?

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

HEY LITTLE SIDNEY WANT TO SEE MY CANNOLI?


Renegret posted:

It's nearly 2:30AM and I haven't gone to sleep yet. My 16 mo is just chilling in my lap.

Whoever said it gets better as they get older is a loving liar.

It gets better AND worse!

nachos
Jun 27, 2004

Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Holy poo poo it happened. Baby woke up from a nap after 40 minutes, we left her in the crib to whine for another 25, she put herself back to sleep and has been asleep for the last 40+ minutes

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Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy


Grimey Drawer

Hippie Hedgehog posted:

I hope you're making the appropriate beeping noise!

"AHHHHH THAT'S WEIRD"

I hate having my belly button touched and he gets deep in there if I'm not expecting it.

He does the same thing to my nipples. Kid just loves pushing buttons.

VanSandman posted:

Have you tried sleep training? It's not something they just know.

Sleep training is one of our biggest failures and I'm not ashamed to admit that. There's a lot of reasons why but it's totally on us as parents. We know what to do, we just don't have the willpower to do it. He goes to sleep in his crib fine, but our problem has always been getting him to stay asleep. Usually around 2-3 in the morning, he'll wake up, start crying, and won't stop unless he's picked up. Over time that turned into, pick him up, and hold him in our bed so we can go back to sleep because we just didn't have the energy to battle in the middle of the night anymore. Suddenly we're cosleeping for half the night. Except suddenly he won't even sleep peacefully in the bed anymore. He'll roll around, pinch and scratch at us the whole night, and now we're not sleeping while he fusses around in our bed, which was the whole point of putting him in there in the first place. And it has to be mommy holding him, if I as much as put a hand on him he gets mad and pushes me away.

For the past 3 days, instead of doing this at 2-3, he did it at 11. And since mommy takes the brunt of it, she hasn't slept at all. And since all the usual things to get him to go back to sleep didn't work, we just said gently caress it, you can cry it out, and put him in his crib. He then attempted to crawl out of his crib and came uncomfortably close to succeeding, so instead I just removed him from the bedroom, put the lights on, woke his rear end up, and gave him an hour to reset while mommy could finally get some sleep. After work I'm lowing the crib and Friday the crib's going into his bedroom. Enough's enough. He's not our cute tiny little infant anymore and it's time he gets his poo poo together. We made a lot of mistakes as parents and the lack of sleep training is near the top of the list.

The worst part is that he doesn't even sleep all that much. Even on a perfect day, he'll only sleep 7-8 hours with a 1.5 hour nap and be totally fine. If he goes to sleep at 9 o'clock, then at 5 in the morning I'm woken up with a finger in my belly button and a bored baby who wants to play.

Renegret fucked around with this message at 15:39 on May 27, 2020

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