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Hadlock posted:call doctor in they morning get their first available you'll be in and out in 20 min and can hopefully move on with life We're doing this, but we live in Canada and just seeing a doctor is not easy to do on short notice. I haven't done it yet with kids so I'm really hoping it's different, but the call with the public health nurse wasn't encouraging.
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Nov 7, 2025 05:08
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If it's in their mouth and you're breastfeeding it's very important to address as it can transfer into the breast duct and become a massive overgrowth that is reinfecting mother and child, painful as absolute hell, and requires high dose long course oral anti fungal tablets along with boiling or laundry treatments for every bib and bra and sheet. Don't gently caress around with thrush. edit: athlete's foot creams are over the counter usually, get two brands with different active ingredients as some strains respond differently to each anti fungal. They make a liquid you can squirt into babies mouth if it's oral that was over the counter in Australia. It's only the long course tablets of fluxitine or whatever the gently caress that is prescription. Ask a chemist if you want to be sure and you'll want to be because there's weirdo interactions between anti bacterial, anti fungal and steroidal creams cos you're loving up the biome balance and need to be very sure you're loving it in the correct direction. G-Spot Run fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Nov 7, 2025 |
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Nov 7, 2025 05:15
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Count Roland posted:We're doing this, but we live in Canada and just seeing a doctor is not easy to do on short notice. I haven't done it yet with kids so I'm really hoping it's different, but the call with the public health nurse wasn't encouraging. The middle ground between walk in clinic and ER is urgent care. In BC at least you can check current wait times online to know what to expect. Even if long wait, Urgent Care or a hospital ER is still going to be a same day response (usually more like a couple hours).
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Nov 7, 2025 05:51
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loquacius posted:I have a problem I could use input on: my mom keeps making bad art of my kids and giving it to us as gifts under the assumption that we will hang it in our house Ughhh my dad keeps doing this to everyone. He is NOT a good artist either. What's worse is he spent most of my teens making GBS threads over whatever creative hobby I was pursuing and now wants all this validation. Great Dad thanks, I have some advice for this bit you said you were having trouble w- oh you're just going to "lean harder"? ok. Well thanks for the Napoleon Dynamite portrait of my son you framed, I'll put it in his room or something I guess? I don't have input on this though, I've spent my entire adult life with multiple timers counting down on useless gifts. Ticking down til I figure it's been long enough to gently caress in the bin
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Nov 7, 2025 07:31
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Count Roland posted:We're doing this, but we live in Canada and just seeing a doctor is not easy to do on short notice. I haven't done it yet with kids so I'm really hoping it's different, but the call with the public health nurse wasn't encouraging. in my experience doctors will drop everything and take you right then even if it fucks up their whole schedule i don't work in medicine but I suspect they budget one or two emergency 15 minute appointments per day for stuff like this. if someone's having a heart attack they don't tell you to come back next month with an appointment
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Nov 7, 2025 09:02
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Do you have video office visits available to you? We used them a few times to get medicines ordered, but my wife is a nurse so she knows the right things to say. We dealt with thrush and it sucked. Nystatin is what you need, iirc.
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Nov 7, 2025 11:21
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We did actually get an appointment this morning. I guess infants really do get that special care.
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Nov 7, 2025 12:26
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Hadlock posted:call doctor in they morning get their first available you'll be in and out in 20 min and can hopefully move on with life My partner and I are now very familiar with the late afternoon/weekend discussion where we evaluate whether the situation merits a trip to urgent care and a sleepless night, or waiting until we can book a doctor’s appointment in the morning. It’s most often ‘nah, we can wait’, but sometimes it’s best to bite the bullet and go right away. Partly because I know my partner is going to be too anxious to sleep until it’s done.
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Nov 7, 2025 12:43
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Hadlock posted:in my experience doctors will drop everything and take you right then even if it fucks up their whole schedule My wife is a pediatrician and I can confirm they keep "sick visit" spots hidden until the morning of in the USA
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Nov 7, 2025 13:22
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At our pediatrician they won't book sick visits until the day of, and all the hidden sick slots are in the morning. And they can fill up. The trick is that phones open up 30 minutes before the building opens so as long as you call early you can get in. And let's be real, if you can't wait until the next morning, then you should be going to the ER
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Nov 7, 2025 13:43
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Count Roland posted:We did actually get an appointment this morning. I guess infants really do get that special care. Glad it worked out, it very well could be thrush but for every childhood thing theres four other things it could be.
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Nov 7, 2025 13:51
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Yeah I learned there's a large variety of causes for rashes and it's not always an allergy and more often some virus. But still have always gone to pediatrician to have a rash checked out.
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Nov 7, 2025 13:56
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Those of you with ASD-leaning children, how would you describe the difference between a behavioral tantrum and emotional meltdown? We had an incident with our 4-year-old where I could just see her getting emotionally overwhelmed and melting down because she was struggling so hard to communicate and she couldn't find her voice to tell us why she was angry-mad-sad. My partner dismissed it as a typical 4-year-old tantrum but I'm certain I saw something greater in it. I'm still furious over this.
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Nov 7, 2025 15:53
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Are you asking because you would treat those two things differently in the 4yo? IMO at 4 those are things that happen, and the way I’d handle it would be the same for a neurodivergent kid as not. Mine are both diagnosed as spicy now, but we didn’t know it for sure then. Emotional connecting, coaching them through the feeling, and not feeding the tantrum were my go-to strategies. Also giving them time alone or body-doubled if needed to pull themselves together.
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Nov 7, 2025 16:52
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ExcessBLarg! posted:Those of you with ASD-leaning children, how would you describe the difference between a behavioral tantrum and emotional meltdown? I can't describe that. I'm curious though: I glanced through post history and didnt see, is the kid in question diagnosed ASD? I sometimes get frustrated when I feel like my partner isn't reacting empathetically with our kid, but tantrums are triggering for most people, myself included. What about this situation makes you furious, even after the dust has settled?
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Nov 7, 2025 17:18
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cailleask posted:Are you asking because you would treat those two things differently in the 4yo? When it happened I ran off after her, sat her down in my lap, tried to guess what she was feeling and upset over and she nodded yes, tried to guess what she wanted and she nodded yes again, and then I helped her to find her voice to ask my partner what she wanted. She could use head nods and pointing to communicate with in the moment, but until I fully validated her feelings and wants she couldn't actually verbalize them. Like, to me, the issue wasn't so much she wasn't getting her way, but that she was overwhelmed and she couldn't verbalize what she wanted in the first place. Thing is, what she wanted didn't have to be a hard boundary. It was actually a fairly simple request, but she was initially dismissed with arbitrary reasoning.
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Nov 7, 2025 17:20
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For me, a tantrum is when someone is being explosively unreasonable, spiteful, selfish, destructive, etc. Whereas an emotional meltdown is when someone can't control their frustration at lacking the tools to meet their needs or the communicative skills to express them. Going by that distinction, the difference between a tantrum and an emotional meltdown is that the person having a tantrum does have that control, or should have it, and they're just choosing not to use it. But "should" is carrying a lot of weight in that sentence. Adults often carry a lot of inflated expectations about what a 4 year old should be able to handle, ASD or not. Another way to look at it is that the emotional dysregulation is a sunk cost. The kid is already upset. Does it matter how they got there? One way or another, their body is full of adrenaline. Their nervous system doesn't care how it happened, it just is. What are you going to do? Will treating them like an adversary help?
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Nov 7, 2025 17:23
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CarForumPoster posted:I glanced through post history and didnt see, is the kid in question diagnosed ASD? That said there's plenty of clues. Also I see so much of myself in her and while I've never sought a diagnosis, my post history does largely speak for itself. CarForumPoster posted:I sometimes get frustrated when I feel like my partner isn't reacting empathetically with our kid, but tantrums are triggering for most people, myself included. What about this situation makes you furious, even after the dust has settled?
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Nov 7, 2025 17:27
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i'm still not sure what your partner did "wrong" in your view
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Nov 7, 2025 17:28
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ExcessBLarg! posted:The dismissiveness towards the situation and her needs. I also raised it with my partner a little while after and it lead to a big fight between us. I'm avoidant enough that normally I would just take the L here and move on, but especially since this does involve our daughter I just can't let it go that one or both of us were wronged here. If this isn't part of a very clear pattern, find a way to let it go. Show your partner some grace. If it's part of an ongoing pattern, you still ought to put it aside for a little while. If in a couple of days you decide yeah, this is something we need to address, front-load it with your partner so she's not blindsided ("After <kid> is in bed tonight, I'd like to talk about how we treat tantrums") and then have the conversation.
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Nov 7, 2025 17:45
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:i'm still not sure what your partner did "wrong" in your view When our kids have "normal" tantrums we often don't or can't provide physical comfort in the moment, but we will verbally validate what they want and then reinforce a boundary around it. In this case though the request was reasonable and the boundary was arbitrary/non-existent, just refusal. Like sure, sometimes our 4-year-old will run off upset when we tell her it's dinner time and she refuses to come to the table to sit with us and eat (the boundary is she has to sit at the table with the rest of the family, not that she has to eat). But this was a different scenario even if they appear superficially similar.
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Nov 7, 2025 17:45
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Pham Nuwen posted:If this isn't part of a very clear pattern, find a way to let it go. Show your partner some grace. Pham Nuwen posted:If it's part of an ongoing pattern, you still ought to put it aside for a little while. If in a couple of days you decide yeah, this is something we need to address, front-load it with your partner so she's not blindsided ("After <kid> is in bed tonight, I'd like to talk about how we treat tantrums") and then have the conversation.
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Nov 7, 2025 17:52
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maybe this makes me a bad parent but "no" is a complete sentence and a perfectly acceptable one at times
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Nov 7, 2025 18:00
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ExcessBLarg! posted:That's the part I struggle with. Our daughter has a really hard time waking up in the morning and it's a time where she's more prone to becoming overwhelmed. She'll frequently lay down in one spot and claim her legs no longer work. So far we've generally been treating it as a tantrum except "what she wants" is not well defined and I'm trying to figure out if a different approach is warranted. I know you asked about your kid, but it seems like the bigger issue is between the parents. You're furious, your wife is defensive. I've definitely been in that position many, may times. My wife and I do a dialogue pattern to try to restore safety and connection when stuff like this happens. This will not result in a winner or an action plan for next time. The point is to repair your communication so you can collaborate better in the future. To reopen, you might say: "I know the situation regarding how to handle [her name]'s behavior was tense and I realize you feel I wasn’t open to your view. Could we talk about it again? Maybe sometime tonight after dinner or tomorrow afternoon? I’d like to just listen first, so I can better understand how you’re feeling." Then mirror, validate, empathize: Mirror: Repeat what they say without adding to it "So youre saying...", then say "did I get that right?" Validate: "I can see why how you'd feel that way." Empathize: "I imagine that felt [how it would feel]. Is that how it felt?" Note that none of this requires you to agree with her. You don't have to concede anything. Her shutting down any room for discussion is her reacting to some trigger she has, insecurity about herself, herself as a parent, stuff from childhood that leads to her not feeling emotionally safe, whatever it may be. It might not feel fair, but the best thing for you is to probably be curious about what that trigger is. The only way you'll know is to have a safe way to communicate. Once you do know, and you both feel safe communicating, a solution will probably just fall out of it. I'll say it again, I've been in similar-looking shoes with my wife a lot. She has an undiagnosed-but-obvious AuDHD shut-in scientist of a dad. She learned to shut down around him because there was no point in arguing. I'm an ADHD computer touching engineer. I love a good fight or argument. Being stonewalled is triggering for me, I feel unloved, unsafe. That said, I don't want to be right I want to understand the truth (as opposed to her dad, who is very insecure about being wrong) Naturally these two people got married, thank god for therapy.
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Nov 7, 2025 18:21
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CarForumPoster posted:I know you asked about your kid, but it seems like the bigger issue is between the parents. You're furious, your wife is defensive. I've definitely been in that position many, may times. CarForumPoster posted:Her shutting down any room for discussion is her reacting to some trigger she has, insecurity about herself, herself as a parent, stuff from childhood that leads to her not feeling emotionally safe, whatever it may be. It might not feel fair, but the best thing for you is to probably be curious about what that trigger is. The only way you'll know is to have a safe way to communicate. Once you do know, and you both feel safe communicating, a solution will probably just fall out of it. Really though I just want to make sure I'm not missing anything with the kids.
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Nov 7, 2025 18:43
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I decided that toddlers is my favorite classroom in daycare. Which is funny because toddler is also my least favorite age range. It's just that the classroom resembles a doggy daycare. The moment I walk in I get swarmed by a million tiny clumsy humans each who have the smallest resemblance of the start of intelligent thought who are overwhelmed with curiosity of this new person who has showed up. The other day I picked my son up from school and noticed he had poop, so his teacher took him away for a change. As I'm standing in the classroom waiting, all of the kids are just standing there staring at me in curiosity since it's unusual to have a parent hanging out like that. One kid gets brave and approaches me and shows me his very cool dinosaur. Very cool dinosaur! What sound does it make? He roars at me and does a lap around the room in excitement. This then opened the floodgates to the rest of the kids who all decided they needed to show me a toy in order to get some kind of validation. Rhys was very proud of his broken helicopter. Another kid couldn't find a toy so he showed me how he could slide down the slide (very poorly by the way) My son, of course, was very jealous at the attention and once freed from his confines of the changing table, he yelled at everyone and took his rightful place in my arms. Elise was very helpful and handed me the wrong bags. All the kids then fell over themselves trying to help close the door behind me on my way out.
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Nov 7, 2025 18:49
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CarForumPoster posted:I glanced through post history and didnt see, is the kid in question diagnosed ASD? For verbal and 2E kids diagnosis can end up being pretty late because a large number of professional folks have not caught up to the current state of ASD and are stuck in different stages of where the DSM used to be. Within the US it’s going to vary a lot by state. And if it’s a family thing rather than a spontaneous mutation all the passed down adhoc coping hides it too. There are a lot of reasons for that.
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Nov 7, 2025 19:58
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CarForumPoster posted:Then mirror, validate, empathize: pretty sure they teach this in call center college ah i hear you're having trouble with your Internet service you were trying to watch your video and the Internet went out and you were halfway through and it was just getting to the good part where the sorority girl was opening the door for the pizza delivery guy i can see how that would be upsetting let me get your name, phone number or account number to get started; what's your phone number?
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Nov 7, 2025 21:18
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Hadlock posted:pretty sure they teach this in call center college Its the way people who do Imagotherapy teach, its drawn from this quite good book: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Couples-dp-1250310539/dp/1250310539 E: Doing that for customer service is loving awful. Its a really tedious way of speaking. It works for this very specific purpose, creating safe-feeling communication, but boy is it slow and ineffective at solving problems quickly and directly. If you're gonna talk to them for the next 5 years and theyre stonewalling you currently, its useful. CarForumPoster fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Nov 7, 2025 |
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Nov 7, 2025 21:20
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This thread has been oddly prescient with a lot of the problems I encounter.. it is not uncommon to see someone else posting about the exact problem I'm having, the same day or week it happens. That said, my 14 year old sweet girl Gypsy cat passed away a few hours ago. She's been sick a while. A year ago, kiddo didn't really care much for the cat. Now, she calls Gypsy her best friend. My sister picked her up from daycare and took her to a store while we buried her. She's getting home soon and we'll have to break the news. Thanks to everyone who posted tips for dealing with kids and pet deaths last weekend. I'm loving devastated.
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Nov 7, 2025 23:09
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gently caress. That did not go well.
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Nov 8, 2025 00:59
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CloFan posted:This thread has been oddly prescient with a lot of the problems I encounter.. it is not uncommon to see someone else posting about the exact problem I'm having, the same day or week it happens. condolences to you and your family
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Nov 8, 2025 01:37
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for more.
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Renegret posted:I decided that toddlers is my favorite classroom in daycare. Which is funny because toddler is also my least favorite age range. It's just that the classroom resembles a doggy daycare. The moment I walk in I get swarmed by a million tiny clumsy humans each who have the smallest resemblance of the start of intelligent thought who are overwhelmed with curiosity of this new person who has showed up. One time I came to pick up my daughter and some other kid walks up to me and says "my mommy has a double hernia" and walks off again before I have any kind of answer ready
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Nov 8, 2025 12:28
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There is a special place in hell for face painters that use glitter. Half an hour shower removing the unicorn and it's sparkles from our three year olds face and hair.
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Nov 8, 2025 13:04
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Oh my god, these two kids have been trading off for the last twenty minutes while I just try to respond to an email. The moment one finally goes back to their own whatevers, the other one appears with their own whatevers to show me; and then, they switch off once again. I can't finish a sentence
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Nov 9, 2025 00:39
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The dr office I went to for the thrush medication has some sort of system problem where they can't send faxes properly. I spent a bunch of time going to pharmacies to pick up prescriptions which they'd never received the paperwork for, while my partner called around trying to resolve it. Then the dr office closed, to reopen Monday. So we got up this morning and took everyone to a clinic in a neighbouring town. They almost wouldn't take the kid because she's so young but when I explained the situation they saw us quickly and we got the prescription. Paper copy this time, because I guess I have to do everything in person.
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Nov 9, 2025 01:01
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our kid was born at one of the top 3 medical systems in the bay area, and his pediatrician is at another one in almost 2 weeks they haven't been able to figure out how to transfer his files, and now they're faxing the records over manually we live in probably the most technology forward communities on the planet, or at least in the us
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Nov 9, 2025 01:13
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I'm recovering from major surgery and I can move around a bit but I'm supposed to take it easy so my mother is here to help around the house. Even with her help my wife is pretty much solo parenting all month which has been pretty stressful. So today grandma decided to take the kid out on a park/shopping trip. Great idea, give the parents some relief. Except the moment that they get out the door, we get a text from another parent who tells us they have lice at their house. We go to check our kid's pillow and sure enough it's infested. So much for a restful afternoon...
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Nov 9, 2025 01:24
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I accidentally posted this question in the anonymous confessions thread in GBS, which is I guess the danger of zipping between bookmarks while trying to manage a toddler and infant. It was: I’m looking for some words of advice or even encouragement about potty training my 2.5 yr old boy. Our plan was to spend a three day weekend with him just Donald Ducking it around the house, so he could start to associate his pee feelings with actually going in his potty. The previous times he used his potty he’s always been super excited about it. But I guess I just wasn’t prepared for the possibility that he would just say no to everything despite being excited about it previously. He had zero interest in sitting on his potty, and seemed like he didn’t care at all about being in wet underwear. I admit I had some big reactions yesterday that didn’t help that I tried to tamp down on for day two, but my wife definitely lost her cool with him when he stood up to piss all over the changing table and stomp around in it. Is it usually this hard? Did I end up in an awful power struggle accidentally? Or is he just not ready yet? I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he’s still having a hard time adjusting to his two month old little brother.
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Nov 9, 2025 01:59
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Big transitions in life should happen one at a time. It's very common to regress and unlearn during big changes, so adding a new skill is going to be even harder. Try again in a month or two, it'll happen it's just about staying cool and trying again.
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Nov 9, 2025 02:22
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