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AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Ugh. Just got my son's school work back for the week, and he failed pretty much everything.

He's just returned to public school after a year and a half of homeschooling, so I know it's probably culture shock. But drat, it kind of sucks to get a test back with a pity "At least you can put your name on the paper" 50%.

His IEP meeting is this coming Tuesday, and that'll be implementing some class room and testing accommodations, which will helpfully get him to do better with school work and tests.

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Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

Alterian posted:

When is a baby old enough to start using a high chair? I'm thinking about putting off buying one until it'll actually get used to avoid a lot of extra crap in our house.

My daughter was a little slow on sitting up, so she was around 6-7 months old when we got one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Inglesina-201...ast+table+chair

It was great. Doesn't take up floor space, doesn't take up a chair, easy to throw into the car when you're traveling. I wish it was a little easier to clean, though. Maybe they've changed this but with ours you can't remove the whole cloth bit and just throw it in the wash. I hauled it up from the basement a little while ago, preparing for the second kidlet, and there are still some ancient crumbs in the corners. (e. In fact, the Amazon description does say something about a removable cover, so either they've improved it or I'm just too dim to figure mine out.)

She took it very seriously:

Andrias Scheuchzeri fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Sep 27, 2012

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful
There's a new Fisher Price chair out that's supposed to have WIPEABLE STRAPS. I can tell you, I would trade any highchair for one with that feature.

Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

I'm the greatest thing since World War III.





Soiled Meat
We applied for the Disability Tax Credit Certificate from the Canadian Revenue Agency (aka the tax man) for our son and we got word today that it was accepted. This will allow us to claim disability tax credits on our income tax retroactive to when he was born.

We were worried it would be a problem as Autism is pretty hit and miss for claims with many parents needing to appeal decisions. We're happy that we won't need to go through that.

Sorry to hear that Angry. We had a 30 minute phone call from our son's teacher this evening. He had a major meltdown today over something trivial. On the plus side he says that he's embarrassed that he did that in front of his classmates. Embarrassment can be a powerful motivator plus we're glad he's conscious of the fact that others will perceive him differently because of his behavior.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ben Davis posted:

There's a new Fisher Price chair out that's supposed to have WIPEABLE STRAPS. I can tell you, I would trade any highchair for one with that feature.

Oh god, I don't even want to think about what's on ours.

:(

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS
I have a nice Graco high chair that has a five point harness and can recline pretty easily, but Chis was always such a great sitter that I never needed the whole rigamarole.

The straps and covering can be removed pretty easily and all thrown in the wash, and the whole chair can be taken off the stand and thrown in the car for traveling. I quite like it.

rio
Mar 20, 2008

Woman posted:

Wow rio she is adorable, look at those beautiful eyes!

I think i remember a post or a thread from you when you had just had your daughter and your wife was struggling with breastfeeding and you had issues with your mother in law, am i remembering right? I might be wrong. It's great that your wife is getting help for her PPD, but you sound quite depressed yourself; you say you feel like there's nothing to look forward to and that your problems have no resolution, that you feel resigned to live feeling that way. Are you covered under your wife's insurance or have any insurance of your own? Would it be possible for you to talk to a therapist about the way you are feeling and getting some help? It's normal to feel like the life you had before your baby is gone because in a way it is, but it should still be possible for you to make some time to do the things that cheer you up. It takes cooperation and communication between you and your partner so that it can happen, and it's important for the two of you to get to have "me" time. Since she doesn't want to go to therapy on her own, would she be open to going to marriage counseling for the two of you (assuming it's covered)? That might help you guys find ways to communicate better, rather than you not voicing your issues because you think there's never a resolution to your problems.

Yeah, you are remembering me correctly. MIL and I are amicable; I have tried to forgive and forget and I'm sure she has tried to do the same. It was an emotionally charged time.

Just wanted to reply to answer your questions. My wife's insurance is all that we can afford, so I am not covered. I hope that some day I can see a therapist. I am still relying on getting a six pack when feeling down and that is no way to live but it works for now. I have problems setting aside money for a therapist when there is so much else to pay for for my family, much less myself (like earlier mentioned dental problems - other parents who might be putting it off, prioritize your teeth before they start to crumble).

To add something that relates to parenting, I have a question. Have any of you had schedule conflicts with your significant others that have been amplified by parenthood? My wife and I are both musicians and both work similar hours (as it goes with musicians). We have been trying to balance who does what (baby vs. work) and I have been trying to settle on whoever has the higher paying gig or more students to teach gets priority. It has ended up that I gig more and she teaches more. I guess what I am asking is mainly how other couples have worked this type of thing out, although I don't know how common it is.

Budget Bears
Feb 7, 2011

I had never seen anyone make sweet love to a banjo like this before.
Hey parenting thread! I'm not a parent but I'm a nanny who works with two school-age girls (7 and 10) and I was hoping someone here might be able to give me some ideas on how to get the younger one to focus. Maybe some other parents of 7-year-olds can give me ideas on what helps their kids stay on task?

So here's the dealio: both girls have to get certain things done before we leave for after-school activities or before they're allowed to go to friends' houses, etc. These things are homework, one Kumon math packet, and piano practice. The 10 year old is great at getting her poo poo done and she understands that if she puts it off or gets distracted, it will take longer and she'll have less time to do fun stuff.

7-year-old seems to understand this concept some days, and not understand it other days. There are times where she will finish all of her homework, totally power through her math packet like a champ, and go straight to practicing piano - but those days are rare. Most days she starts her homework, and then after like two minutes she gets out of her chair, plays with the dog, just walks around - pretty much doing whatever she can to put off her work. I have to remind her 8 million times, "Sit down and stay on task, please. I can help you if you're having trouble. Are you having trouble with some of the problems?"

The answer is always, "No," and then she goes back to doing it and I can see that she understands the material and is capable of doing it. And then within minutes she is out of her chair again.

She usually does it at the kitchen table with her sister, and her sister doesn't distract her or talk usually - and if she does then I just remind her to not disrupt the younger one, and she always complies. The kitchen table is bare and the kitchen itself is pretty boring and distraction-free. I've tried sending the little one up to her room to do her work, but a) she gets really upset because she sees being sent to her room as a punishment and b) the minute she gets up there she screams "I NEED YOU TO COME TO MY ROOM AND HELP MEEE!" (when I go up there it's obvious that she doesn't need help, she just wants me to hang out in the room with her so she can stop working every two seconds and tell me something or try to play with me instead of doing her work.)

I tried setting a timer once for her Kumon (I have seen her finish these packets in 10 minutes so I usually set the timer for 15-20, and she does very similar timed tests every week in school), and I framed it as a fun beat-the-clock challenge, not as a "finish this quickly or you're in trouble" kind of thing, and she just says "STOP THE TIMER! The timer is stressing me out and I can't focus!"

Is staying on task just a skill that comes with age or is there anything I can do to get her to focus? Again, her older sister is great at staying focused, and as a result she gets done way earlier and is allowed to spend more time doing stuff that she wants to do. This leads to the 7-year-old complaining that her sister "gets to do everything fun" while she "never gets to do anything ever."

tl;dr 7-year old has trouble focusing and I'm not sure what to do to help her.

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Budget Bears posted:

Hey parenting thread! I'm not a parent but I'm a nanny who works with two school-age girls (7 and 10) and I was hoping someone here might be able to give me some ideas on how to get the younger one to focus. Maybe some other parents of 7-year-olds can give me ideas on what helps their kids stay on task?

Is she expected to sit still and do all of these things right after school? That sounds like too much to expect from a 7 year old.

Budget Bears
Feb 7, 2011

I had never seen anyone make sweet love to a banjo like this before.

dreamcatcherkwe posted:

Is she expected to sit still and do all of these things right after school? That sounds like too much to expect from a 7 year old.

We always take a 20 to 30 minute break when we get home from school. Also, the younger one gets out of school 30 minutes before the older one, so while we wait for her older sister, the younger one runs around on the playground at school and hangs out with her friends. So she has a chance to get her wiggles out, and then when we get home, both girls have a chance to relax and do what they want for a bit. And they're both really good about stopping what they're doing and getting their homework out when the break is over.

But I often feel like all the work and activities their parents pile on are too much for the 7-year-old. They have after-school activities Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, (Wednesdays and Fridays they have two activities, one right after the other - it's kind of insane) so on those days we barely have time to complete everything. The 10-year-old seems to handle everything fine and is actually pretty responsible about prioritizing her work and managing her time.

7-year-old sometimes tells me she feels "stressed," which is not a word that I like to hear a 2nd grader use to describe how she's feeling so often. :( I have told their parents about all of this and their attitude is, "haha yeah she sure hates focusing! Just make her do it."

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Yeah, that sounds like quite a bit for a 7 year old to do all in a row.

Does she sit well enough in the beginning, and the leaving her seat and wanting to play starts earlier? If that's the case, what works for me is splitting it into blocks.

The way I do it with my son is he comes home from school, and I go through his backpack to see what needs to be done. Then he gets a snack, and a little bit of time to unwind from school. Then we'll do one subject's homework (say, spelling), followed by a little break, then the next subject, and so on.

Sustained focus is a really big trouble area for him, but I see it a lot in other kids without his issues as well.

Budget Bears
Feb 7, 2011

I had never seen anyone make sweet love to a banjo like this before.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Yeah, that sounds like quite a bit for a 7 year old to do all in a row.

Does she sit well enough in the beginning, and the leaving her seat and wanting to play starts earlier? If that's the case, what works for me is splitting it into blocks.

The way I do it with my son is he comes home from school, and I go through his backpack to see what needs to be done. Then he gets a snack, and a little bit of time to unwind from school. Then we'll do one subject's homework (say, spelling), followed by a little break, then the next subject, and so on.

Sustained focus is a really big trouble area for him, but I see it a lot in other kids without his issues as well.

We do this sometimes too, and it works out so much better, but there are so many days when we just don't have the time. Like today, for example, we had to go to piano class at 5. We all got home from school at 3, took a 30 minute break, and by 3:30 we were starting on homework. I took a look at what 7-year-old had and it was a lot - simple stuff that I know she can do, but just a lot of it (literally 5 pages that she was required to color tonight, a spelling thing, a lengthy math thing, and a book report that she needs to finish.) On top of that she still had Kumon and piano practice as well. She is an extremely slow homework-doer (even when she doesn't get up out of her seat and get distracted, she just works really slowly), and so based on all of the stuff she had to do it was pretty clear that we just didn't have time for the in-between breaks today.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, when we don't have any after-school activities, it's a LOT better - but still, for 3 out of the 5 days that I have them, there is just so much to do, and their parents are very strict about them finishing everything before they get home because they seem to kind of have an aversion to doing homework with their kids.

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Honestly, if the parents aren't going to step up and do some of it themselves, or cut back on after school programs, it doesn't sound like there's much that can be done. The kid sounds seriously overloaded, and that is going to be a big detriment to sustained focus. I can't really comment on the amount of homework. It sounds like a lot to me, but my son is in special education, and different schools have different amounts of homework anyway.

The only thing I can really suggest in that case is a treat of some variety. I don't like to use food based incentives very often with my son, but sometimes it works when he's having trouble focusing on even just one block of his homework. Something like M&Ms or Skittles, something that's in pieces. Do a problem, or a set number of problems, and he gets to eat a few pieces of candy.

This is really not something you want to do all the time, or even all that regularly. If the parents aren't willing to do something to alleviate the problem, there probably isn't an easy fix, period, until she's matured a bit more.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!
Does anyone have any links to some scientific sources saying that I don't need to ignore my baby to keep him from being spoiled? I'm getting this "spoiled" stuff from both my family and my husband's family. They will literally call me on the phone and say "you're not picking that baby up too much, are you?"

It's driving me insane, but I can't be too upset with them because I know it's what they were taught. I just need to teach them that that doesn't line up with current theories. But I need to show them something that carries more weight than some random baby website. Links?

Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

We are the ones we've been waiting for.
Why do you need to justify your parenting to them? Tell them to butt out.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

Chickalicious posted:

Why do you need to justify your parenting to them? Tell them to butt out.

I just don't see a need to be confrontational about it if I instead have the option to show them that there's evidence that that isn't the best thing to do. Most of them are rational people, and I'd rather educate than alienate.

Counselor Sugarbutt
Feb 8, 2010

Mnemosyne posted:

I just don't see a need to be confrontational about it if I instead have the option to show them that there's evidence that that isn't the best thing to do. Most of them are rational people, and I'd rather educate than alienate.

From what I know, the view on responding consistently to infant cries as being important to infant development is based on Attachment Theory. Founders of this theory are John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Ainsworth's "Strange Situation" study theorized that how a parent responds to a child's needs affects the security of the child's attachment. A quick summary is here: http://www.simplypsychology.org/mary-ainsworth.html

So, your best bet is to read articles you can find in this area, because this is the science that backs the idea that babies need you to respond to their cries (and it doesn't spoil them).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006
When it happened to me I just replied in a nonchalant way: yeah, they did that last century (let babies cry), but there's been, y'know, studies and stuff since.

Endor
Aug 15, 2001

Yeah I've been there before, and in my situation at least it wouldn't have done any good to hand my mom a stack of 6 peer-reviewed Attachment Parenting studies and hope she'd agree with them.

Their response was usually something like "Oh those scientists & doctors, every ten years they're changing their minds! Next thing you know they'll be telling us babies should sleep upside-down like bats! When you were little we didn't use any fancy science stuff, and we didn't care about car seats, we just threw you in the back of the van and you turned out just fine!"

So yeah, my response sometimes has to be "This is how we're choosing to raise our child and every time you passive-agressively harp on us about what we're doing it pisses us off, so please stop repeatedly questioning our parenting and just go along with it." Or something along those lines =)

Endor fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Oct 4, 2012

Toadpuppy
Apr 8, 2003

Mnemosyne posted:

Does anyone have any links to some scientific sources saying that I don't need to ignore my baby to keep him from being spoiled? I'm getting this "spoiled" stuff from both my family and my husband's family. They will literally call me on the phone and say "you're not picking that baby up too much, are you?"

It's driving me insane, but I can't be too upset with them because I know it's what they were taught. I just need to teach them that that doesn't line up with current theories. But I need to show them something that carries more weight than some random baby website. Links?


Here's one: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=infant-touch

My opinion is that if the baby wants held, hold him. He doesn't need held constantly but it's pretty unlikely that you'll overdo it, and there is no spoiling a baby - they're too little to really be spoiled - up until they're toddler-aged you can really only focus on providing for their needs.

Here's an article about babies being spoil-proof: http://www.babycenter.com/404_should-i-worry-about-spoiling-my-baby_3446.bc. It's more advice than science, but it makes sense.

Apart from that, the only thing I'd suggest is to avoid parenting discussions with your in-laws and parents as much as possible, and when it comes up, just politely say something along the lines of "This is how we're raising our child, and we'd rather leave the discussion at that."

Dear Prudence
Sep 3, 2012

Mnemosyne posted:

I just don't see a need to be confrontational about it if I instead have the option to show them that there's evidence that that isn't the best thing to do. Most of them are rational people, and I'd rather educate than alienate.

Here's what will happen: You'll show them the scientific articles and they will say "Harumph! That doesn't prove anything. I have experience. Stop picking up your baby!"

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.


Dear Prudence posted:

Here's what will happen: You'll show them the scientific articles and they will say "Harumph! That doesn't prove anything. I have experience. Stop picking up your baby!"

This is exactly the response I get when I talk about carseats and whatever. "well we didn't use them back in my day and we seemed to survive ok!!" when I'm really adamant about rear facing until at least 2. Most people could give two shits about "studies" if you're questioning anything they did with their parenting 10-20years ago or parenting a different way from them.

Basically here's the important thing to remember: everyone is a better parent than you are when it comes to your own child.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...

bamzilla posted:

Basically here's the important thing to remember: everyone is a better parent than you are when it comes to your own child.

It's really true and its really not worth arguing about. I've leaned to just say "okay, thanks!" to all advice and then promptly ignore it.

My favorite is my wife's step dad who is the biggest rear end in a top hat in the world and never raised any children. Dude dispenses terrible advice like he's an automated terrible advice dispenser. Oh okay Paul, thanks for the advice.

Seizure Sloth
Dec 28, 2006

The electroshock seizure of the sloth consists of weak extension followed by tonic flexion and terminal clonus.

Mnemosyne posted:

Does anyone have any links to some scientific sources saying that I don't need to ignore my baby to keep him from being spoiled? I'm getting this "spoiled" stuff from both my family and my husband's family. They will literally call me on the phone and say "you're not picking that baby up too much, are you?"

It's driving me insane, but I can't be too upset with them because I know it's what they were taught. I just need to teach them that that doesn't line up with current theories. But I need to show them something that carries more weight than some random baby website. Links?

I know in the What To Expect for the First Year book, it says it's not possible to spoil your baby in the beginning and it's actually better for the baby if you step in when they're crying. At some point, when I'm not holding a semi-sleeping baby, I can look up the page number for you.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

FishBulb posted:

It's really true and its really not worth arguing about. I've leaned to just say "okay, thanks!" to all advice and then promptly ignore it.

Pretty much. When my former co-workers and family were all telling me to let him cry it out at night, I just went "mmmhmm," mentally rolled my eyes, and did what I wanted to.

Preaching and trying to change everyone's minds is just a waste of effort, really.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Mnemosyne posted:

Does anyone have any links to some scientific sources saying that I don't need to ignore my baby to keep him from being spoiled? I'm getting this "spoiled" stuff from both my family and my husband's family. They will literally call me on the phone and say "you're not picking that baby up too much, are you?"

It's driving me insane, but I can't be too upset with them because I know it's what they were taught. I just need to teach them that that doesn't line up with current theories. But I need to show them something that carries more weight than some random baby website. Links?

My antenatal class teacher had a good phrase - "You can't spoil a baby, they have needs not desires".

keykey
Mar 28, 2003

     

bamzilla posted:

This is exactly the response I get when I talk about carseats and whatever. "well we didn't use them back in my day and we seemed to survive ok!!" when I'm really adamant about rear facing until at least 2. Most people could give two shits about "studies" if you're questioning anything they did with their parenting 10-20years ago or parenting a different way from them.

This is exactly it. When I was a kid, my parents got a brand new 1976 260z, we went a ton of places in it. Of coarse, it was only a 2 seater so I would sit right behind the passenger seat and use the rear strut tower like a back rest. Back then it wasn't an issue because people hadn't been properly educated and carseats back then were mostly non-existent. Fast forward to 36 years later where education and products are more refined and of coarse it's stupid to look at those years like they were totally fine. I don't buy the "We did it then and our kids turned out ok." bullshit because of refined safety standards. Hell, we wouldn't drink from a spigot with "natural healing properties of uranium", why would we subject our kids to the same thing?

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

I haven't even had my baby yet and my mom likes to start in on giving me advice about "having to leave the baby alone". She doesn't understand why I'm getting a co sleeper to put next to the bed or why we've decided to use slings to carry the baby around.

We were out looking at baby stuff and I mentioned I didn't need a play pen and she commented that "You have to leave the baby alone sometime!" and I sort of just brushed her off with a "Oh....yeah?" and changed the subject. She had her last baby 27 years ago. While I appreciate her care, I keep trying to reiterate to her that my husband and I need to sort of figure this stuff out for ourselves too. I think she gets offended that we're doing a lot of things differently than she did with me and my brother. I don't think it helps that this is my parents first grand kid either.

Its hard when your family members mean well but are still offensive.

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert

Just do what you and your pediatrician think is best for the baby and leave it at that. My sister and I disagree with my mom all the time about raising kids. She raised us in the early 80's and things were different back then. We just laugh at her and call her an old lady and tell her to do things our way. We have an easygoing relationship with her though, no stress.

Every kid is different, every parent is different. Find what works for you. I know I raise my kids differently than my sister. Doesn't mean she's wrong, or I'm wrong. We're just doing what works best for us. Parenting is hard enough without outside pressure from other people giving 'advice'.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
It's pretty hard to deal with the pressure of people telling you not to spoil your baby. When my son was born, his dad was constantly berating me for going to pick him up when he was crying, because (direct quote), "then he'll just learn that if he cries you'll come pick him up!" Which I thought was kind of the point of having a baby. It really got to me, because my instincts were telling me to pick him up, but he was insistent that I didn't, and would get my old-school family to back him up ("well, your mom babied your brother, and now he's marrying that guy out in Montreal because of it!") So then when I was alone in the house, it felt like I was sort of secretly picking my son up and holding him. So, so messed up.

Point is, if you parent the way other people tell you to, you'll probably regret it. And it's not like they'll change whatever their opinion of you as a parent was before you followed their advice or not. So, uh, follow your heart. Or whatever.

Toadpuppy
Apr 8, 2003

ChloroformSeduction posted:

It's pretty hard to deal with the pressure of people telling you not to spoil your baby. When my son was born, his dad was constantly berating me for going to pick him up when he was crying, because (direct quote), "then he'll just learn that if he cries you'll come pick him up!" Which I thought was kind of the point of having a baby. It really got to me, because my instincts were telling me to pick him up, but he was insistent that I didn't, and would get my old-school family to back him up ("well, your mom babied your brother, and now he's marrying that guy out in Montreal because of it!") So then when I was alone in the house, it felt like I was sort of secretly picking my son up and holding him. So, so messed up.

Point is, if you parent the way other people tell you to, you'll probably regret it. And it's not like they'll change whatever their opinion of you as a parent was before you followed their advice or not. So, uh, follow your heart. Or whatever.

That's awful - they managed to combine the crazy idea that babies can be spoiled with the crazy idea that being nice to your baby turns him gay. It's terrible that they made you feel bad for acting on your perfectly normal maternal instincts.

Tesla Insanely Coil
Jul 23, 2006

Ask me why I'm not squatting.

Mason is awesome! I am always amazed when I hear about such premature babies.

One suggestion I had was to take your daughter with you if a sitter is a problem, if you're comfortable with that. I've taken my kid with me when I was sick and the doctor didn't have any problem. And I'm sure it's hard to ask your girlfriend to do things she "ought" to want to do, but you definitely need to give yourself a break.

You didn't say how old your other kids are but unless you had them one right after the other, I imagine they're old enough to help out around the house. For instance, my mom put the glasses and plates on the low shelves so I could put them away when I was pretty young.

It sounded like Mason doesn't have any problems that would hinder his mobility and as I'm sure you remember with your other kids, once he's mobile, he's going to be a lot more work so I would encourage you to get help for you and your girlfriend before he needs even more attention.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

Toadpuppy posted:

That's awful - they managed to combine the crazy idea that babies can be spoiled with the crazy idea that being nice to your baby turns him gay. It's terrible that they made you feel bad for acting on your perfectly normal maternal instincts.

Yeah, it was weird. Kind of like I would have felt more supported if I had no support. Oddly enough, it was probably the least compatible guy that I ever dated who managed to knock me up, in retrospect. Next baby is just going to be done on my own (in the doctor's office - sperm catalogues are a trip!), and I'm not even going to bother telling some of my family. Obviously they'll find out eventually, but I figure I'll at least have some peace and quiet for most of my pregnancy.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

Toadpuppy posted:

That's awful - they managed to combine the crazy idea that babies can be spoiled with the crazy idea that being nice to your baby turns him gay. It's terrible that they made you feel bad for acting on your perfectly normal maternal instincts.

AND implied that being gay is something that a person should be ashamed about. Nice.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011




Mnemosyne posted:

Does anyone have any links to some scientific sources saying that I don't need to ignore my baby to keep him from being spoiled?

Babies needs human contact. Harry Harlow found out that in one of the most disturbing experiments ever conducted on cute little monkeys: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow#Monkey_studies

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

Alhazred posted:

Babies needs human contact. Harry Harlow found out that in one of the most disturbing experiments ever conducted on cute little monkeys: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow#Monkey_studies

There was an accidental "experiment" in Romania as well, when the orphanages were overflowing.

quote:

But not in Romania, where the long-time communist dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu, was a zealous believer in technological progress. Highly skeptical of all things touchy-feelie, he clamped down on psychology and social work in preference to engineering and science. He favored policies to raise the birth rate and established institutions for orphans and children whose parents could not care for them.

After Ceausescu was executed in the coup in 1989, the orphanages were opened to a world that saw Dickensian warehouses for the unwanted. Scientific study confirmed what the untrained eye could see: The children were in the third to tenth percentile for physical growth, and "grossly delayed" in motor and mental development, Carlson says. They rocked and grasped themselves like Harlow's monkeys, and grew up with weird social values and behavior.

Source

Maybe someone else with better Google-fu can find a better source, but basically these babies were left in their crib all day and only saw people to get fed or changed. I think most of them just died.

So yeah, hold your baby as much as you want to hold him.

Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009
My husband just texted me to tell me that he caught our son in the cat room. He may, or may not, have had himself a little shitsnack.



(He's fine--apparently cat poop is some of the safest poop he could have ingested, so we just have to watch him for a week or two to make sure he didn't get any kind of parasitic infection. There will be much brushing of teeth before goodnight kisses, though!)

Amykinz
May 6, 2007
Awwww, your kid likes snickerdoodles! We have our cats using 25 gallon rubbermaid tubs for cat boxes. We even have the lids on with a "cat sized" hole right in the middle. The cats jump down, use the box, jump back out. The baby can't reach far enough into the hole to get to the litter or the snacks buried inside.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

You have to make this for him when he's older.
http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/kitty-litter-cake-for-halloween

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Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

The quickest substitution in the history of the NBA
So a lot of people have recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," but does it ever recommend anything other than Cry It Out? I'm about 100 pages in and it's complete garbage so far.

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