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cailleask
May 6, 2007





Parenting achievement: waking up JUST in time to throw the teddy bear to safety before the toddler sleeping on my chest throws up everywhere.

It's all about priorities, man. Can't have the night time teddy bear out of commission. I can always shower. Right? :smithicide:

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cailleask
May 6, 2007





I dunno man. I work full time and I also co-sleep with our now 21 month old. I wish there was an easy way to get her out of my bed, but then I remember about walking up all those stairs when she cries, and... yeah.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Do you need the car seat in Seattle? If so then bring that for sure and put him in it. I find it easier to deal with my two year old when I can strap her into her familiar, comfortable seat on the plane. It may make it easier for him to sleep, too.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





notwithoutmyanus posted:

re: stokke and climbing, we have a stokke and our little monkey ninja loves it. Unfortunately as she's almost 2 she also climbs into and out of it on her own because you can't always strap her in the kid insert part. Still worth it though.

That's the best part of the Stokke for me! I don't have to put my two year old in - she gets in and out on her own. I regret buying a lot.of expensive or dumb baby gadgets, but the Stokke was worth every penny and then some.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





On the other hand, my newborn popped out of me looking so much like her dad that it was actually a little creepy. He would hold her and they would make the exact same facial expression at me - one big and one small - and I would just die of laughter.

The older she gets the less she looks like a tiny clone of him, but my god it was funny / weird for that first year. It used to bother me a little when people would comment on it, but it was also the literal truth so there wasn't much point in getting worked up over it.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





All my (two year old) daughter was exposed to was parts of one debate, and the SNL skit. We are a pretty liberal household.

Some dumb ad came across my screen when she was looking and she said 'Look mom! It's Donald Twump!'

She has no clue who 'that lady' is when I tested her on Clinton.

So... yeah. He sure does have some good brand recognition.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





This was us for my daughter's six to nine months in care. It culminated in me having to get my tonsils out, but now she hardly ever gets sick -- even when starting in a new school. She started care at 1 year, and is 2.5 now.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Try to offer the bribe before it becomes a tantrum. Once it's in screaming crazy head territory, there's nothing to be done but wait it out or attempt to out-muscle them. I try to get my 2.5 year old focused on something else before we get to the car, so that it doesn't occur to her to tantrum. We were having a bad string of them, so breaking the association has worked really well.

If I can get her actively excited about something else like where we are going or some treat or something, usually she will be very cooperative about climbing into her chair and buckling.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Chin Strap posted:

What you are describing is positive reinforcement training like you would use with dogs. Maybe that is a good analogy for teaching toddlers.

Yeah, I know it is. I learned it over the years from working with dogs and horses. Turns out it's SUPER effective with toddlers, too. Like, really super effective. Kiddo hasn't tantrumed at me in like a month now (but has blown up on her dad who doesn't do positive reinforcement several times.)

cailleask
May 6, 2007





I have a toddler and not a teenager, but I also have siblings that are 10-20 years younger than I am so I'm not entirely in a void.

It sounds like all these negative behaviors have been normalized for her. Is it possible for her to spend time (a summer? a month?) where she can get exposure to an environment and kids where this is NOT the norm? Maybe if she sees some alternatives, she can make better choices?

Foreign exchange seems promising, or else a new school in a different area? Or maybe a few months with grandparents? Not as punishment, but in there guise of expanding her horizons?

cailleask
May 6, 2007





GlyphGryph posted:

Speaking of which, when did everyone's kids actually start, you know, directly interacting with other kids in a not-superficial way? The most mine has had is one time I can remember when he thought another kid was chasing him and got excited but then it turned out the other kid wasn't.

My 2.5 year old has recently started, but from what I can tell, she's been indoctrinated into it by the older kids in her class (she is in a 2.5 to 5 year old prek). She comes home from school full of stories about playing tag or house with kids. The stories usually include bits about how so and so was mean, or this other kid was crying, or that some kid helped her. It's cute.

I don't think she is really initiating it on her own yet, though?

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Hi_Bears posted:

Talk to me about baby gates. Our son is almost 10 months and crawling quickly, pulling up, and starting to cruise. We keep a close eye on him but it's probably time for some gates, at least for the stairs. How much of a no-no is it to have tension mounted gates at the top of the stairs? Can babies actually knock those down? What about retractable gates, do they work? Would love any advice and lessons learned in general.

I would be pretty nervous about a tension gate at the top of the stairs. My daughter will push her full weight against ours and climb on it if she's out of sight for like two seconds. We have a screw in gate because yikes.

I used to use a tension gate to lock my 6 pound dog out of the kitchen, and she would knock that thing over all the time no matter how tight I installed it. I do not have much faith in them.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





My 2.5 year old sleeps super super well after taking her to swim. Do you have an indoor pool? Mine doesn't nap either if she hasn't been physically or mentally worn out.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





I have three different convertible car seats (because we had three different people picking up kiddo on a regular basis): Maxi Cosi Pria, Peg Perego, and Clek Fllo.

My favorite is actually the Peg, for all its the most expensive. It's super compact and installs pretty easy. The straps never twist around and it's really easy to adjust and comfortable for the kiddo.

The Clek Fllo we use mostly for travelling because it's so narrow and is impossible to install wrong once you know how to lift the seat. I've installed it in Ubers in four minutes at the airport while traveling solo with a toddler. But it's heavy as balls and not very comfortable and the shoulder straps are kind of wide-set which is a little alarming on my narrow-shouldered kid.

Maxi Cosi is my least favorite and I wouldn't buy again. It's ridiculously wide and the straps are constantly twisting up in weird ways making it hard to adjust. At one point, the padding cut halfway through a strap in a way I only found while disassembling it to clean. Very scary. At least it's very comfortable?

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Dirty Needles posted:

Anybody got any tips on cutting toddler nails? My 2 year old goes into an absolute screaming jag if you so much as attempt to cut them, no matter the bargaining or bribe. I'm worried about forcing him, but don't really know what to do, they're getting pretty gross now.

I bribe mine with the promise of nail polish afterwards. Not sure how you feel about it (but tbh that piggy polish stuff falls off after like a day max) but it works super well here.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Duxwig posted:

Question on infant food transitions and damned child independence.

Our 8 mo old has been eating solids(purée) since 4 mo. He got two bottom teeth at 6 mos. We made all our own baby foods w our vitamix and froze cubes. We were starting on chunkier or different textures and/or spices/herbs. He had a great appetite.....until Thanksgiving. We ended up sittIng him on our lap during dinner and gave him small pieces of various foods. Little did we know the Pandora's box we opened.

He's been on a crash course of "I'm a big boy!" With foods since. He absolutely refuses to eat off his infant utensils. It's not the food as if you give it to him on a normal person spoon or fork he'll eat it. More recently he has refused to eat off any utensil a majority of the time. We need to get foods and cut them into pieces so he can clumsily pick them up and try to jam it in his own mouth. Like egg. LOVES egg but now won't eat it off utensils. It has to be cut into fourths and put on his highchair so he can pick up. This kind of upended our food plan and how we hoped to transition to toddler like foods in the future, but "kids :/" right?

Does anyone have suggestions on this based on how young he is, lack of teeth, and jamming his mouth full like a drat chipmunk? He starts daycare next week and trying to figure out a plan for him to eat while there. (Were those crazy parents who have so far said no to hot dogs, frozen chicken nuggets, and pizza etc that they serve at the daycare - we have time and money to cook and do healthy options so we're running with it for now)
My wife and I plan out all our weekly breakfast/lunch/dinner meals so it's less stressful and I've taken to finding recipes he can eat and adapting them into family meals for us. Is this just the reality we've entered or ?

That's how we did it. He can pretty much eat whatever you are eating - there's not a ton you should do to adapt, honestly. My daughter didn't have teeth until nearly a year and she managed pretty much every food we ate (including meat) well before then.

Like, if you're eating rice and meat and chicken for a meal, just cut it up and put a small amount on his plate and let him go to town. He'll figure out how much to get in his mouth and how to manage it in short order. You can probably also put leftovers in a container and send it to daycare for him.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





His Divine Shadow posted:

Sigh. Just sat down and was gonna watch some youtube or something... and Daniel comes up to me with his mouth and hand full with something brown and exclaims "cookies!" and runs away... I rush to the kitchen and the freshly baked brownie that's been cooling has a roughly scooped out center.

You gotta admit though, of all the brown goop your kid could have all over hands/mouth, fresh brownie is probably the best possible outcome!

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Having some sort of regular socialization with a bunch of kids is important. Maybe there's a preschool co-op you guys can go to? Usually the parents stick around while all the kids play, and it's not so expensive. One is a decent age for them to start figuring out how to be around other small people in a social way. Bonus points if they can see older kids too, because they love to learn from that modelling.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





I dunno, I don't think tablet use in and of itself is necessarily bad. What I think IS bad is, as was mentioned, using it as a mental pacifier. "Bobby is screaming at the restaurant again, just give him the tablet so he'll be quiet and we can eat in peace." I get needing to do it every now and then, but every time? It doesn't seem good.

That said, I've also noticed significant behavior changes when my 2.5 year old has too much tablet or screen time. We get a significant uptick in tantrums and emotionally fragility that doesn't seem to happen if we are watching something interactively together or if she is left to her own devices drawing or doing a puzzle or something.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





GlyphGryph posted:

Like others have said, I dont know the causal relationship but it very much leads to all sorts of terrible behaviours, and he gets so fascinated with it that nothing else is good enough and he doesnt want to stop and he wont do other things because he wants it back afterwards.

On top of that, it doesnt even seem to making him particularly happy when he is using it! Lots of similiarities with an adult screen addict, really.

Same. I know slippery slope and all that, but giving it to a kid at dinner time when we are out never seems to give them the chance to behave and see behaviors being modeled. It starts as a convenience - but I've seen firsthand plenty of kids start that way and then it turns into them having the tablet glued to them as the years go by, no matter where they are or what's going on around them. Having seen what that end-game looks like in 10 year olds, and at what the stages look like at 3-6 years old... it's not a road I like going down, personally.

I know my kid is a weird anomaly at 2.5 but sometimes it's fun to go out with her to eat and have conversations and enjoy being where we are together. She's gotten pretty used to it and the behaviors we expect of her in restaurants. Obviously sometimes she's still two and unreasonable and we do what we gotta do, but I've also gotten better over the years at disarming and redirecting, too.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





I rented the world's tiniest skis and boots and took my 2.5 year old to the magic carpet. She did about 15 minutes of letting us pull her around and riding up the carpet and then was done. It was mostly an excuse for adorable pictures (and something to occupy my time with while her dad boarded), but it was something!

cailleask
May 6, 2007





namaste faggots posted:

Yes I agree. lovely parenting and maybe the fact that these kids aren't as smart as you think they are didn't factor at all. We all know that permissive, self esteem focused parenting and schooling have revolutionized the nasty Victorian workhouses known as public schools. Instead, we must ensure that our precious little Einsteins progress through life knowing that their inability to reach their full potential isn't their own fault at all so as not to needlessly diminish their greatness.

??? Wow dude, maybe chill a little?

It shouldn't be a mystery that different kids benefit from different learning environments. Some kids really crave order and structure, and some need to be left free to their own devices as long as possible. Some kids will naturally rise to the extents of their ability, and some need some extrinsic motivation. Different learning styles and personalities and capabilities need different teaching styles.

Mixed-age true Montessori works really well for my kid. Reggio-Emelia really wasn't for her, despite the fact that it appealed more to me as a parent.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Today my two year old had a twenty minute shrieking tantrum because I asked her if she wanted to brush her teeth or if she wanted her dad to do it.

Choice bits include: "You're NOT the boss of me mom and dad! I'm in charge! I'm the boss of mom and dad! Not you!!!" It was complete with foot stomping and rage-peeing on the floor. Lovely.

Just you wait, Glyph.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Hi_Bears posted:

I'm sure this has been asked before so sorry for the repeat, but I need specific ideas for entertaining a 13 month old on a 6 hour flight. A lot of the ideas I come across are for older kids who can color or do sticker activities. I don't think my son is quite there yet since he still puts everything in his mouth. I'm buying cheap toys, new lift the flap board books, and bringing things like tin foil and post it notes. Anything else that worked for you?

Also - we are going to bring an ipad with some videos just in case. Are there any good apps/games for his age?

And... thoughts on drugging him with benadryl? It's our first time flying with him so I am obviously nervous.

Are you nursing him? If so do that. A lot. Otherwise... lots of snacks? My daughter wasn't really into the iPad at that age, for all that she's an addict now at 2.5. Your best bet is to feed him into a stupor and get him to sleep.

I wouldn't drug, but mainly because I had a dog who always has a paradoxical reaction to that stuff and went insane at 30,000 feet. Now I'm gun-shy.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Hi_Bears posted:

No, we weaned recently. But he does love his cow milk so maybe I'll let him have more of that (esp for take off and landing).

If we do drug we would definitely have to do a test run beforehand, as I've heard the same - that it can make some kids hyper.

Do you have a pacifier or a bottle? There's something magic about the sucking action that seems to really help, especially with ears during the pressure changes.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





I had shingles at two months post-partum and it sucked balls and we had to do all sorts of contortions to make sure I didn't give it to the baby. Do not recommend.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





54 40 or gently caress posted:

I feel prompted to post even though I haven't quite graduated the age range of the pregnancy thread. Did anyone do swimming "lessons" with their babies? The pool near my house does parent and tot swimming for three months and up. I'd love to take him but some of the logistics are throwing me through a loop ie what do I do for a swim diaper, how does showering work after etc

I started my daughter at maybe 5 months. The pool / class program had a very specific swim diaper they wanted us to use, and they sold them at a reasonable price. Maybe check and see if that's the case?

I would only ever do a rinse-off at the shower at the pool, and saved proper soapy showers for after we got home and I could control the situation better.

My daughter is 3 now and has been swimming ever since. She loves the water and has never really had much of an issue with water on her head or hair, which I think the early water exposure helped with. I'll enroll my son in the fall session, probably, when he's old enough.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Red posted:

Does anyone have a good reference for diapers? That is, color/size/shape/smell, and what they mean?

Our 2-week old does largely formula with some breastmilk, and every diaper has been normal - but they've been super hungry out of nowhere, and diaper changes have gone up as a result - as has gassiness. Tonight, we had a yellow paste diaper with a cheese smell. Baby seems fine, so I'm not alarmed, but it seemed like a significant change.

Yellow paste diapers in particular are typical of breastfed baby poop. They have a pretty different look and smell from formula poop.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





YMMV, but my 3 year old is super into being a big girl and being in charge of things, so I get a lot of mileage out of having her be in charge of rocking the cradle, or getting diapers, or little spontaneous one off tasks. Then she gets praise and also feels good about herself and how she's so 'big'.

I also make it a point to spend an hour a day just with her while we do something, and I can dedicate my full attention to her. It's not much, but the best I can manage right now with an EBF one month old.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Re: co-sleeping; I had my now 3.5 year old in my bed until she was 2.5 and we transitioned her fully into her big girl bed at 3. It took maybe a month or two? of dad handling bed time. At first it sucked and took forever but now she gets three stories and goes right to sleep. Occasionally wakes at night and needs a hug or cuddle, but often just sleeps through the night.

This kid was one of those ultra attached babies who had to always be touching me, and nursed before bedtime until I got pregnant with her brother (at the very beginning of booting her to her own bed). She didn't sleep through the night until she was 18mo.

So, like, it can be done. And painlessly. It took a while and a lot of baby steps, but we didn't have to have any major screaming fits. Don't despair if co-sleeping is working for you!

Mr. Baby is a happy co-sleeper now. I'm not even entirety sure how many times a night he wakes up because I can apparently pop a boob in his mouth before either of us are fully awake and back to sleep we go.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





My 3.5 year old is super into Sarah & Duck, Doc McStuffins, and Our Lord and Master Daniel Tiger.

We listen to the music from the latter two during breakfast - she likes to bellow at Alexa to make it happen. Especially Daniel Tiger. His songs are constants in my house.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





n8r posted:

http://rebelem.com/patients-strep-throat-need-treated-antibiotics/

This looks like some arguments for not treating with antibiotics.

n8r posted:

http://rebelem.com/patients-strep-throat-need-treated-antibiotics/

This looks like some arguments for not treating with antibiotics.

He seems to be making some unsupported assumptions about data in those studies - the comment thread is really interesting, especially the bit at the end about transmitting the infection.

My kid got scarlet fever from a strep infection, so, yeah, I’m on the hell-yes-treat side.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Just Offscreen posted:

Well they cant take away the punishment now especially for something that big.

... why not? What's wrong with sitting down with the kid and explaining that you made a mistake because you were scared, apologizing, and working through it with them? Modeling the behavior you would like them to demonstrate?

Not saying anything for or against the punishment in this specific situation, per se, just rather that I don't see anything wrong with changing my mind later upon reflection. I think admitting that you made a mistake to a kid and walking through it is a super valuable lesson? My kid responds well to it, though she's only 3.5.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Leng posted:

Hello thread, I'm back with another question. Bub's teeth are starting to come out now so I'm trying to start a brushing routine. We tried the finger tooth brush for the first time tonight and she wouldn't have it. :(

How did everyone do this? She's not very stable standing up yet so I have to support her lots so it's kind of this stressful juggling exercise. I also don't want to traumatize her or create negative associations by using physical force.

At this stage it’s all about making it fun. Don’t focus so much on accomplishing the goal (brushed teeth) as much as making the process as fun and rewarding as possible for her. Maybe that means singing a song and letting her hold it or inspect or chew on it herself. It will probably mean many steps backwards and forwards- but at this age learning to enjoy / not hate brushing is more important than brushing quality imo.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Yesterday, after months of 'you help me' and 'carry me' and 'wipe me', my 3.5 year old abruptly locked me out of the bathroom stall at the gym and instructed me to keep watch while she did her business. :aaa:

She'd been doing it for a year independently at school, but refused at home. She's getting so old :3:

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Alterian posted:

For me this was the biggest thing I wasn't prepared for. I feel like this is under-emphasized to women. You get the impression you're either in post-birth bliss and everything is flowers now that you have your baby or you go crazy and drown your kids in a bathtub.

loving this. Those first weeks are crazy. I had it much worse with my first than my second, thankfully. I will never forget being in bed while my husband had our ~10 day old and being unable to sleep because I was too busy sobbing about not being pregnant anymore.

Nevermind that I had hyperemesis and didn't even enjoy being pregnant, that I had a birth that went pretty much as expected, and a wonderful little girl and a supportive husband and breastfeeding seemed to work.

Sobbing.

Those hormones are beyond anything.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





KingColliwog posted:

I think not having to be close and able to hold/catch them is the important part.

We do the chair thing right now, but I can barely cook since I need a free hand to take care of him constantly. A 2 year old on a chair is a terrible fall waiting to happen.

We used a sturdy two-step stepstool. It has a top rail and basically side rails. Super sturdy and folds up to go away when we dont need it. My daughter pushes it all around the kitchen to get what she wants.

Something like this: Cosco Two Step Big Step Folding Step Stool with Rubber Hand Grip, Grey https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0032JRVPI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TSqHAbJFG30YQ

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Cry it out feels viscerally wrong to me - I feel about it the way I do about spanking. My daughter was sort of a lovely sleeper, but we co-slept and nursed to sleep and I am happy to report that as a 3 year old she now goes to bed on her own, in her room, after her three stories with dad. My son is 10mo and co-sleeps and nurses to sleep and sleeps a lot better than she did for whatever reason. Sometimes you can set him down to nap and sometimes we have to hold him. It's okay. This stage won't last forever, and we are lucky with our childcare situation that we can work around it.

And anyways it'll change. They change how they sleep every couple of months for the first two years, so what you need and what works will change if you just wait long enough.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





54 40 or gently caress posted:

Jesus Christ. Don’t hit kids. Don’t spank kids. Why do some people deluded themselves into thinking that it’s ever appropriate?
If you strike any other group: other adults, coworkers, the elderly, animals it’s a problem but hitting kids is magically okay for some.
Don’t hit your kids. They’re people too, believe it or not.

For real, hitting kids has the opposite ultimate result than whatever it is was intended. Every time. It's just a lot less effective than literally anything else you could do.

Don't want your kids to hit other people? Especially ones that are smaller or weaker than themselves? Then don't hit them.

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cailleask
May 6, 2007





I dunno, I gave both my kids full sugar cupcakes for their first birthdays (though my son had a vegan one due to dairy allergy). He didn't eat the whole thing, but clearly enjoyed it. Otherwise we don't generally have a lot of sugar around.

My four year old honestly isn't that into sugar. It hurts her stomach and she vomits if she gets to much :colbert: She had a cupcake for the birthday too and she had three licks of frosting and two bites of cake then left it alone. I try to tread the line between just not having it around, and not making a big deal of it when it is around. Seems to work okay with my n=1.5 sample size.

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