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I haven’t received anything like those and I’m glad. The ones I’ve seen in stores are pretty cringey- we’d rather hold off on media tie-ins/money grabs for as long as possible and offer the pop culture things we like when they’re age appropriate. Judging by the number of these products out there, though, this may not be the more popular opinion.
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Jun 25, 2019 18:04
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I’m doing my best to forget what my pre-baby sleep and routines were ever like. Like, trying not to compare anything- even the good nights- because it’s no longer relevant and I’m not getting it back regardless. I think this approach has been good for my sanity, but I’m only ten weeks into this parenting thing so who knows.
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Jul 9, 2019 19:55
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Shoutout to having a moderately strong in-person social network. We have a two month old and my partner needed to suddenly travel for an unforeseen and lovely family emergency with no set return date. It was right before the weekend when we typically catch up on groceries/laundry/etc. I’d be pretty lost without the people around us, tbh. So I guess my new parent advice is work those contacts and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m garbage at the second half of that, but this is teaching me how to get over it.
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Jul 13, 2019 18:55
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How does a baby turn themselves around 180 in their bassinet while swaddled? I mean, my swaddles aren’t great but  She’s not rolling over yet, but I’ve got a feeling the swaddle days are limited.
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Jul 17, 2019 10:59
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InsensitiveSeaBass posted:My boy would flail his legs, even swaddled, with such force that I swore he'd flop out of the bassinet like a fish. The force would also rotate him around and he'd end up in all manner of positions. Sleepy eyes open Swaddled feet flash above crib Must be our bedtime
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Jul 17, 2019 15:05
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Geisladisk posted:She woke up at 5am (24/7 daylight in the arctic summer is great, huh?), and said "go out of bed!". I mumbled, "no, too early, sleep more" and she went "okay" and went back to sleep until 7:30.  I have to keep our bedroom AC on as white noise because if my 11wk old hears the birds outside as the dawn kicks in she perks up. The birds start around 4:30.
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Jul 18, 2019 12:23
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I wanted to address part of a previous comment about parents constantly sounding negative- a lot of parent forums/threads/online resources skew negative because people like to vent and it’s not interesting to post about ‘played a good game of peekaboo today and the baby made some noises that made my heart swell’. It’s good to have the outlet when needed, but it’s also unfortunately part of the culture to constantly complain about some aspect of child rearing with little mention of the good stuff. Not that there aren’t stressors and challenges to being a parent but honestly it’s pretty great. I was really anxious and somewhat disconnected during pregnancy, but I love my baby with a passion I didn’t know I was capable of. Sure, I’ll complain or stress at online groups, but I feel like the day to day is absolutely worth it. 
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Jul 20, 2019 19:15
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The Infant Optics DXR is really good, and is frequently available as an open box deal on Amazon if you want to save like $70. It works throughout the house and doesn’t rely on wifi.
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Jul 28, 2019 17:04
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My husband has found that Darkest Dungeon is basically the best paternity leave video game because it’s always paused and constantly saves. Koivunen- sleep is really important, and being able to commute and perform your job safely is important. Being able to be awake and aware when taking care of your baby is also important. Your plan might work poorly as a short stopgap measure, but it doesn’t sound sustainable at all and may be frankly kind of dangerous.
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Aug 15, 2019 21:02
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Hippie Hedgehog that sounds like a really awesome setup. It keeps parents from feeling isolated and provides support and socialization on demand on long leaves. My husband and I left our 16 week old with her retired grandma for the first time today, and will continue to do so until our $1300/mo two day per week daycare slot opens up in December. And I realize this is a good and privileged setup here 
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Aug 20, 2019 20:18
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Major metro area, very high general demand, convenient location. On the plus side, once we need more days per week it’s not much more expensive. 
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Aug 20, 2019 20:32
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Strep can absolutely turn into a body rash, especially in little kids- it’s definitely worth seeing the doc tomorrow. I hope your little guy feels better soon. 
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Aug 21, 2019 11:21
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I really liked the book Cribsheet because the author liked to look at the studies where these things come from (if they exist). It was a pretty relaxing read to be honest, because a lot of these ‘don’t do [x] you will ruin your child!’ things are based on laughably small sets, have razor thin margins of benefit, or are just plain archaic rules. Don’t fret over using a pacifier (or the ‘right’ pacifier). Don’t beat yourself up if you want/have to use formula. Except do put your baby to sleep on its back that is actually a pretty big deal. Recommended if you want a book that isn’t just quietly shaming you for something.
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Sep 2, 2019 21:13
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The hospital told us no pacifiers until 8ish weeks or when breastfeeding was well established but they also gave us two pacifiers so...
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Sep 3, 2019 00:11
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Renegret posted:I have such a disdain for lactation consultants. I’m sorry you and your wife went through all that. I have a lot of complaints about the culture around the current breastfeeding push. Like, breastfeeding worked out ok for me but I definitely felt a really weird pressure from some of the nurses and lactation consultants when I was in the hospital and had a couple road bumps. New parents are in a tremendously vulnerable emotional (and physical) state, and the do-or-die attitude some resources have is really unhealthy. That inflexible approach sets parents up for failure with other parenting challenges, and comes along with a huge feeling of shame when they should be bonding and recovering. Never mind the challenges of pumping after the mom heads back to work. The push for a minimum of 6mos of breastfeeding totally glosses over the very real obstacles that women encounter in their workplaces, which the majority of working American women head back to in under 12 weeks. There’s a whole undercurrent of ‘if you don’t breastfeed for a year it’s just because you don’t care enough’ which is total bullshit to throw at someone. Educate, but for fucks sake let families pick the approach that works for them and support that.
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Sep 3, 2019 13:14
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I know I mentioned it like a few posts ago, but Cribsheet and our pediatrician are basically the only sane and chill resources I’ve run into on breastfeeding. Also gently caress Ina May and all her guides.
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Sep 3, 2019 14:44
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Sweet Custom Van posted:“So I heard mommy doesn’t want to feed her baby? Why, mommy?” That’s an exceptional type of lovely. gently caress that consultant.
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Sep 3, 2019 18:02
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A Game of Chess posted:Also, I went back to work today and had to pump multiple times a day for the first time.... boy do I HATE it.  Yup it’s not great. You’ll find a new rhythm to the workday, though. Your pumping supply will probably improve- my first day back, I had really crummy output. It improved as I got used to pumping at work and got better at distracting myself from how ridiculous I felt. Be aware of what your rights are regarding accommodations and be as protective as possible of pumping within the time windows that you need.
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Sep 4, 2019 00:28
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All this is ridiculous considering almost the entirety of breastfeeding’s benefits are impossible to untangle from socioeconomic factors in the existing studies. Not nearly enough of a clear benefit to give women this much drat grief over. But hey, let’s just keep policing choices rather than providing support and instruction for whichever choice is made .
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Sep 4, 2019 17:32
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Sarah posted:Is this the parenting thread or the feminist rights thread? Let’s get back to talking about parenting. You don’t realize that this is a discussion of some of the pressures around one of the first major parenting decisions people make? Hm.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:03
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The tummy-down hold worked pretty great when our baby was gassy, or if she needed to be interrupted out of a meltdown.
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Sep 7, 2019 19:34
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I’d recommend buying a mattress pad if you don’t already have one, save yourself from future funky milk mattress smell. If they haven’t already, the baby will one day puke hard on your bed and you will be grateful you have the pad.
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Sep 10, 2019 20:56
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I’m imagining a set of horse blinders but for babies who should focus on nursing or napping and it’s cracking me up. My baby is 4.5 months old, and her naps have become super erratic, both in timing and length. She still sleeps okay at night, but should I be trying harder to establish a nap schedule at this point? I’ve kind of just rolled with her napping when she wants to since nights have been okay and it seems like she’s getting enough rest, but people’s talk of naptimes makes me a little worried about my approach... Will baby-led-napping (lol) bite me in the butt or have others here survived the chill approach and waited for a schedule to hopefully emerge?
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Sep 12, 2019 20:31
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We end up singing a lot of folk/traditional songs and sea shanties to our baby because nursery songs/lullabies are usually way too short and I don’t want to have to pick a new song every 30 seconds. Making them up is pretty fun, although the lyrics get pretty out there depending on how much sleep I’ve gotten.
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Sep 16, 2019 10:32
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Not my kid, but where I went to take violin lessons last year there was a ~6 yo girl in the slot ahead of me that played a bubblegum pink guitar and sang all the accompanying vocals to her songs in a growly metal voice. That kid is going places. 
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Sep 23, 2019 13:17
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It was like a switch flipped one day where our baby was suddenly ok with tummy time and not just going on a skills strike and yelling straight into the floor (riiiight around 3 mos). To make it more bearable for yourself until your baby wants to work on it, I’d second having them on your chest/belly while you recline. She’s now devoting about 80% of her play time to learning to crawl and I basically can’t stop her from rolling onto her belly to practice. Your pedi can check if anything looks weird, but their development comes in fits and starts as they get stronger and things ‘click’.
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Sep 24, 2019 04:37
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Homework for young/mid elementary schoolers is dumb as heck and I hope hope hope the pendulum is swinging the other way by the time my kid is in school. Marshmallow houses and whatnot excepted, of course.
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Sep 24, 2019 23:56
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MF_James posted:Page snipe argh, we just started trying for baby #1, I'm sure it's going to be hard as my wife has PCOS, hopefully we can get pregnant, but I don't think we're going to try (or get lucky) twice so we might adopt a baby afterwards since I'd prefer not to have an only child. Seconding the Fertility Friend app recommendation. It sounds like women with PCOS have pretty variable experiences trying to conceive, and hopefully you both have a fairly easy time of it. It can be a stressful experience- I had a different medical problem, but it took me about two years of trying to get diagnosed and treated for it- and paying attention to how you both feel and if/when you need a break is very important. A word of caution that OBGYNs vary a ton in their knowledge and interest in fertility problems. If your wife runs into problems past 6mo and you have the insurance coverage/funds ( ), I’d recommend making an appointment with a fertility specialist or reproductive endocrinologist sooner rather than later.
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Oct 9, 2019 19:16
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Has she considered swim lessons for her daughter? It might seem unrelated, but a lot of little kid swim lessons focus very heavily on introducing kids to water touching their face and processing a lot of that fear/reflex feeling that might be setting her off.
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Oct 10, 2019 01:30
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My mom is usually a great resource for parenting advice, but talking to her about potty training is not super helpful. She said we went to the beach for fun one day, I spontaneously decided that I was going to use the big kid toilet. While she had to take me there roughly a thousand times that day, I never looked back and accidents were very rare. It’s like... okay but how do I get my kid to do that, that sounds ideal.
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Oct 14, 2019 14:30
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Slimy Hog posted:Go away  Also that ‘heavy metals can be detected in baby food!’ article that has been making the rounds is really crummy from an analytical/food chemistry perspective. Thankfully this thread hasn’t flipped out about it, but I’ve definitely had to talk a couple people down. Scaremongering (and nutritional ‘science’) sucks.
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Oct 28, 2019 08:51
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I feel decently confident mine doesn’t because I ate a lot of messy pb&j sandwiches while actively breastfeeding her
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Oct 28, 2019 14:23
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Ok why do we change the ding dang clocks? This is dumb and I have no idea if the baby thinks this nap is early bedtime but man was she hardcore melting down. Fml.
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Nov 3, 2019 23:02
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I actually lucked into a really decent, sane, science-literate mommy group through The Bump, of all things. As far as pregnancy forums went they had pretty strict community standards and were happy to call woo out for what it was. They’ve been really helpful for support and advice. Not to say there aren’t batshit groupthink groups out there, but if you can find a good one they can be really positive, especially if you don’t have many irl parent friends/relatives.
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Nov 5, 2019 15:16
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:What do you all do to torture your fellow bourgeois parents? Also that. Additionally, generally not playing the anxiety game where (usually) moms find increasingly minor things to be worried about to each other. I’ll absolutely let them vent about sleep/feeding/illness difficulties, but I redirect hard if they’re concerned about the perfectly ok pool temperature at baby swim lessons.
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Nov 12, 2019 15:22
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i do this too, an infant is largely just a moist potato, why do we gotta give them Complexes because their adorable lil overalls have a pink kitty face instead of a blue one. absurd. Because then if you have a second potato you might “have” to buy it a whole other set of clothes. It’s deliberately hard to find neutral options.
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Nov 12, 2019 18:46
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Oh, yeah, like 90% I’ve bought for my 6m girl is neutral, but I definitely had to go out of my way to find stuff I liked. Most of the girly things were gifted (so much pink...), and just like women’s clothes, a lot of it is made out of thinner fabrics I’m not saying you have to buy gendered clothing, but I am saying that companies are trying to get you to buy twice as many clothes.
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Nov 12, 2019 19:32
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Hey, looking at my phone in the newborn days kept me from falling asleep on the couch with her during hour long nursing sessions. That’s a reasonable risk/reward tradeoff come fight me, researchers.
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Nov 14, 2019 02:31
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My baby would’ve been perfect but I looked at my phone once and whoops
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Nov 14, 2019 19:04
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 21:59 |
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DangerZoneDelux posted:Don't be salty. I'm sorry I believe in science Ah yes, a mother pointedly ignoring her baby’s active demands in favor of a device in a strange room around strange people and strange toys for two minute blocks at a time. This clearly mimics actual mobile phone behavior. I don’t think anyone argues that being absorbed in your phone while you should be actively caregiving is a good thing. But ascribing the results of behavioral studies like this (also, n=50, not super great) to actual use- checking email while nursing, sending a quick text while your baby has their back to you chewing on a book- is not particularly scientific. It’s great that you feel high and mighty about “believing in science”, but you’re pulling hot take pop-sci conclusions from a limited study in- the paper admits- a very under explored field. So good job.
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Nov 14, 2019 21:14
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