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Hello thread. I have a baby now. It is day 5 and it is a glorious day. We went to the pediatrician for first appointment and we found out our son was starving and lost 14 oz. I am happy because as soon as we made the formula my little dude gulped down 4 oz, crushed the bottle against his skull, and pulled his arm out of his onsey to Popeyes flex. Then, finally, he went to sleep. My wife is destroyed though. Absolutely crushed. Her boobs went up to H and it is a sick irony that they have no milk. My first instinct was to look her in the eye and tell her "This is not your fault". It isn't, she did all the correct things and abstained from all the incorrect additives and chemicals. Her labor was induced, her body doesn't know to make milk until next week. I hope that she doesn't internalize it. I told her for the next lil bit I want her to continue being the sole feeder. I've prepared a few bottles for tonight, and it really helps me feel useful. I've vowed for the last two nights to stay on baby watch until 6am. I failed after being exhausted and shoo'd away by mom in law. But that's because the baby was violently screaming at my face. Thank goodness I now know it was hunger that made that face, at the end of day 4 I thought that terrible existence was going to be the rest of my life. I mean it is, but tonight is too and on average it feels p cool. 😎
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Feb 27, 2021 07:57
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| # ¿ Apr 24, 2024 04:38 |
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Oh man, this night shift has really taken a 180 from the previous. I've gotten a handle on the use cases and order of all my baby gadgets from the registry. Every corner of our 1br nursery bedroom combo that wife and I worked all quarantine on has finally come together after adjusting our first meeting with reality. I was a fool, I have my computer just to the right of my crib. I wanted to be able to look over at my baby without the aid of the baby monitor. But now, I realize it is optimal to set the baby monitor up anyways and bring the thingy to computer so I don't have to look right. Then if I see sustained wiggling I know he's up and it is time to say soothing words and rock him on the other chair. Can't bring him to the computer, far to harsh of a light. lyfehax.
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Feb 27, 2021 09:40
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Hello thread. I have a baby now. It is day 5 and it is a glorious day. We went to the pediatrician for first appointment and we found out our son was starving and lost 14 oz. I am happy because as soon as we made the formula my little dude gulped down 4 oz, crushed the bottle against his skull, and pulled his arm out of his onsey to Popeyes flex. Then, finally, he went to sleep. My wife is destroyed though. Absolutely crushed. Her boobs went up to H and it is a sick irony that they have no milk. My first instinct was to look her in the eye and tell her "This is not your fault". It isn't, she did all the correct things and abstained from all the incorrect additives and chemicals. Her labor was induced, her body doesn't know to make milk until next week. I hope that she doesn't internalize it. I told her for the next lil bit I want her to continue being the sole feeder. I've prepared a few bottles for tonight, and it really helps me feel useful. I've vowed for the last two nights to stay on baby watch until 6am. I failed after being exhausted and shoo'd away by mom in law. But that's because the baby was violently screaming at my face. Thank goodness I now know it was hunger that made that face, at the end of day 4 I thought that terrible existence was going to be the rest of my life. I mean it is, but tonight is too and on average it feels p cool. 😎 Edit: oh god, this was hanging in my drafts for a week now. Yeah, just feed baby. baby so ez. Been trying HARD to get wife to write down times for baby actions. I was about to divorce her when she woke me up to ask me when SHE last fed the child.
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Mar 4, 2021 22:22
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L0cke17 posted:Brilliant little fatso managed to learn to flip pages a few days ago. Tonight he managed to feed himself a bottle with one hand and turn the pages on his bedtime book with the other. Truly mind-blowing that he couldn't do either of those things consistently on their own a week ago or so. Dude is chillaxing at a kindergarten level. Grats
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Mar 5, 2021 04:01
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Just gonna collapse into this pile of registry burp cloths and unfolded swaddles to take a nap. I'll be damned if we don't still use the hospital swaddle, it withstands real cleaning.
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Mar 5, 2021 21:57
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life is killing me posted:I’ve generally started doing more of the housework gradually, but due to Covid. I have to admit it gets old walking into the kitchen and knowing not only will I be cooking, but probably the dishes as well right after. My wife does them and other things occasionally, but whereas I do most chores by myself, when she does them I also am commissioned to help with that too. She works a lot so I try not to hold it against her but it’s tough not keeping score when you’re putting most of the points on the board. I feel you. It has only been two weeks, mom-in-law has been a big help. But, I worry that my wife is going back to the learned helplessness that her upbringing afforded her. She just doesn't do things, she just points at thing and either me or her mom solves that problem. I have to tell her "use your words" as she chrips and coos at an object out of reach. Nothing medically wrong, I just married a jerk and sometimes people do that.
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Mar 6, 2021 03:58
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Im a bad parent who was raised by a bad parent. When I put my child in day care I will use the same criteria as my ancestors: pick who is physically closest, don't give a gently caress about reviews as long as my child is alive when I pick him up.
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Mar 6, 2021 05:58
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Every action in our newborn parent plan is made with the express purpose of accelerating potty training. We are speedrunning this poo poo I swear to God. He's 2 weeks old and I encourage him to wiggle to build his muscles to crawl, which will get him to walk, which will get him to toddle his rear end to the potty. Current goal is 14 months. Might not reach it but by God we will try! I am fully prepared to just strap him to a potty and maintain intense eye contact for 14 hours.
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Mar 8, 2021 21:09
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Eggnogium posted:Hopefully my 1-year-old's extreme aversion to diaper changes will be a boon when it's time to potty train? Yo mine is like that too! I don't get it, like do you enjoy stewing in your poop?!?!
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Mar 8, 2021 21:42
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Maybe there's something stuck back or between there. Might be worth whipping out the cell phone flashlight and say "ahhhhh"
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Mar 13, 2021 01:37
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Took baby to first outting. I genuinely don't understand the in-laws. I was able to source a single table eating experience: the wing spot lady was hype for our lil outting. We would have been the only folks in that entire astroturfed patio. Far enough away from the street that no walk bys would even be possible. 4 blocks from home so we could use our fancy stroller. If ideal conditions could exist for a 3 week old being outside in the pandemic then this would be it. Nah, they don't feel safe with that. Instead we go to a hotel restaurant with a brunch of other brunching motherfuckers who pay too much to wear masks. Paying 28 dollars for some tapatillo on an egg. gently caress outta here. Heard first hand a gaggle of brunchers absolutely melt when they saw me sooth my baby. Just sploosh. Real wild about it, shouting and splooshin next table over and telling each other how I could get it durring nap time, and like my wife was RIGHT THERE. Felt nice tho, good to know I still got it. This was the first time I've used a public restroom changing station. I went to the bathroom and saw staff just got done cleaning and thought "why not". If perfect conditions existed for a public diaper change then this would be it. True luxury is a push button changing table with textured disposable bed pads provided in a purpose build gilded slot. What's the read on baby masks. I'm thinking like getting lil dude one when he hits 9 months. In laws told me "oh no they can't wear masks till they're 4" and I'm not raising some bubble baby that does not experience society so it's gotta be earlier than that. AAP says 2 years, but they take money from Nestle so they can suck my dick from the back. Thoughts? Thots?
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Mar 14, 2021 01:32
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L0cke17 posted:Ask your doctor. Ultimately it's your decision, but a doctor who knows you and your kid may be better informed than internet weirdos. Yeah the bolded part seems like a good barometer untill the next pediatrician talk. Thank you and rest of thread.
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Mar 14, 2021 04:15
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My dog has been Sam Smith sad since newborn came in. Perfect nanny dog, very sweet and gentle with our baby. But... Like she's really feeling the hurt and pain of her true love (IE me, her human) lovin' someone else (IE that new puppy human). I sing to her.
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Mar 15, 2021 22:01
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Bunk beds are a practiced thing. Neice slept in a bunk bed for the first time when she was 12 at a vacation thing, rolled off night two, upper bunk was sawed off and tossed on a bonfire night 3. Personally I would just keep my kid up there and figured they would learn to stop rolling. Laydown a blanket and designate a pillow to be the floor safety pillow, yaknow, around head level. But I am very callous dad who views all accidental injury as a chance to learn.
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Mar 17, 2021 01:21
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life is killing me posted:DST can go gently caress itself sideways How am I supposed to explain to my child that time is fake twice a year?
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Mar 17, 2021 04:01
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All throughout the pregnancy my wife and mother in law have been talking sooooo much poo poo about limiting screentime and "no cell phone baby4me". Since my son's been born the only thing they've been doing is holding him in front of the Dr. Phil and News Machine wife made me build when her ma got here. Education is your highest priority my rear end! Read him a god damned book. As far as my feelings go. I do want my son to be comfortable affecting what he sees through his actions, so I'm hoping to get him swiping like as soon as potty training is done of not sooner. poo poo is magic, basic and simple, press button receive image and information, maybe summon a car or meal. It will be vital magic to learn.
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Mar 20, 2021 04:55
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devmd01 posted:Friday night after spring forward is always pizza and a movie. Since it’s nice weather outside except for a northern wind, I used a tarp to create a block for that as well as some darkness for a theater. I have a fire going on the other side of the patio, can’t complain. Hell yeah! This is totally sweet! remigious posted:My dude is still to young for me to worry about screen time, but I have a friend that lets both of her kids watch whatever whenever and they also demand to play on tablets at the same time. I worry that that sort of behavior affects their attention spans long term. Same and same. My main concern when kids don't learn about what these magical black mirrors mommy and daddy has. My sister placated my nephew with the cell phone, but she always set it up for him. So now he's like 15 and he doesn't know the button presses to install TikTok and that's big a problem.
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Mar 20, 2021 05:36
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priznat posted:Experiencing the first zoom kid’s birthday party. Thanks extroverts, for having to make lockdown somehow worse. Oh god, having to hold a wiggling baby in front of a webcam while having to keep a painted smile on. Lmao roflmao I've read Dante's Inferno, there is no circle of hell deeper.
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Mar 20, 2021 21:27
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Don't lose heart brother. You might not be the one he wants but you're the one he's got. Hopefully his view that you are a big bearded obstical passes, but you gotta stay strong and be the best gatekeeper you can be. Any way you can get a lock on that office door? Or a door proped against the chair?
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Mar 22, 2021 21:18
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When I was small kindergarten child I was broken out into "high reading" and while the rest of the class was fiddling with "foxes in boxes" me and like 3 other kids got handed The Giving Tree. It seems like a good way to get better material without siloing me with tiger mom havers.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:41
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Slimy Hog posted:Modern research shows that mixed-ability classrooms help _everyone_ learn better, including those at the upper-end of understanding. Child: "The fox jumps over the fox" Child: "Nah my dude, the second one is box. You can tell because of the dangly bits on the first letter and the picture is of a box. Half of this is context clues" Child: "Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense."
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Mar 25, 2021 20:20
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Current newborn sleep experience and routine. Mother in Law and wife have baby in living room watching either stand up comedy, nightly news, or murder heavy action. I announce at 8:00 "Ok, let us do some sort of wind down" as I go to walk dog. Upon dog walk completion, I set up formula bottles for sanitizing on the vanity next to bathroom. I bought some cute drying baskets that fit the breast pump apparatus and baby bottles. Full inventory takes three 8 minute cycles. At the end of the last cycle I flood the bottle warmer with sink water and prepare 2oz of fomula on slow warm. Durring this time baby is on boob and tv goes 4 notches lower in volume after 2 hails of gunfire. Anywhere from 8:45 to 9:45 the baby pees and I change him. Then I bring him to the back and wind him down. After he is down and swaddled I have to bring him back out to say goodnight to everybody. Then I put him down again. Lights turn down, cellphone gets tuned to my high effort baby playlist with complicated weeb music. If asleep, bedroom goes down to nightlight and monitor light. If awake, then story time with dad and the light snack. 10:00 is usually the last awake diaper change. I move either the camera or my babies head to achieve proper blocking then hunt for baby monitor. Put it on charger next to computer then pour out a cup of coffee. Then I watch for major movement. Like I stopped getting up after every coo, Ill wait till he lifts his legs or open his eyes to get up. Most the time he can be hushed back to sleep by placing my hand on his chest. Around midnight is when the nightly farting occurs. I just unswaddle him and he farts. Then he stretches and farts more. Then I give 1/2 inch compressions on his belly to fart more. There is a 30% chance these will be poops. I fix a 2 oz bottle when the baby stirs enough. If he smashes that, eyes wide open, I'll fix a 4oz bottle after to cap his food intake to 6oz. Around 2:00-4:00 I crawl into bed and wife takes care of the next stirrings. I sleep till 9:30-10:00 From 10:00 to 2:00 he is mostly chill. I have to do about 3 diaper changes durring this time.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:47
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Nah dude, just acknowledge the OT by giving her the 1.5X rate of $75 for those 10 hours above 40. A simple chat room or Google form can do hours tracking. In california milage is p simple as well: commute from home to job or job to home is unpaid, everything in between is charged 0.53/mile. Edit: lmao my math mistook your 50 hrs for $50/hr. Basic concept federally. Overtime is just 1.5*hourly rate, way easier to just do the two step math rather than find the magic number that equals what nanny was offered originally. Also averaging that number leaves you exposed to schedule changes. Market rate for Calabasas rear end rich hollywood nannies are like $22-$30/hr fyi. KirbyKhan fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Mar 25, 2021 |
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Mar 25, 2021 22:03
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Edited math assumptions. Man idunno, we survived Nicklodian Gak, but how do I teach my son to refuse the forbidden sand. Tell him if he eats it a pearl will grow in his tummy a clog up his butt.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:16
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There is no employer in the world that can guarentee absolutely no schedule changes in the future ever. Lmao the job is child and fiddly adults trying to find the most vulnerable optimization. It protects you too and is just more sound. Nanny rate is nanny value and putting in a structural 10 hours a week over 40 hours a week (50 HOURS!!!) is worth 15 hours.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:33
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We got one of them super swaddles that acts as a lil newborn straight jacket. Busted it out one day when lil dude was extra wiggly and it turns your baby into a grub. Super cute watching him inch around all worm like. I lacked heart and put him in a regular swaddle before I went down.
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Mar 26, 2021 18:00
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remigious posted:Yeah I love those Do you pull the hood all the way up so the only thing exposed is baby face?
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Mar 26, 2021 18:35
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I call my baby my little glow worm when he is being cute and nice and a little meal worm when he is crabby and aggro.
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Mar 27, 2021 04:37
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Wife forbade me from calling my son a jerk when he exhibits jerk like behavior and I just keep telling her that I'm an Asian dad. I now understand why there are so many jerks in America
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Mar 27, 2021 04:46
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiHrA1Si0Gw
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Mar 27, 2021 09:52
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Newborn question: the only thing my son scratches is his face so where TF is all his nail grime coming from?!? Edit: Babies make me question the laws of matter conservation.
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Mar 28, 2021 05:23
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It finally happened, the sleepless night. I am prepared, the routine accomodates for this. But lmao this poo poo suck, like I know he needs to poop, he knows he needs to poop, it has been like 23 hours since his last poop and bicycle kicks and tummy rubs have been liberally applied. Come here baby, it is time for your first poo poo post. ,dcf ksma e;dorl3-]]sxd
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Mar 29, 2021 06:57
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VorpalBunny posted:I just wandered back in this thread to share that I just caught my 7-year old son pantsless, rubbing his penis while watching Pokemon videos on Youtube. That was unexpected. Team Rocket is blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiin~
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Mar 30, 2021 01:30
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You must steel your soul for the tantrum and surpress your own rage while not giving your child a hint of exasperation, for shows of weakness encourage tantrums as a tool for getting what the child wants. Basically channel your Christian Bale from Equilibrium. But here I am with a newborn who doesn't really cry yet. Worst he does so far is fret and it's pretty cool. KirbyKhan fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Apr 1, 2021 |
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Apr 1, 2021 01:07
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Baby Monitor Poll: Assuming you have some baby monitoring video apparatus: When you lay your child down to bed, do you move the camera to face your child or do you move your child's head to face the camera?
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Apr 1, 2021 11:15
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I investigate cries sociopathicly. Like I just stare at him real blank faced and ask questions as to what this cry is about and poke at a couple of things, easily extending the cry until I can describe it. Checklist brain takes over. For food cries I very much insist that lil dude has to wait for the bottle to warm up. It is a 5 minute cycle, he's a newborn who doesn't have tastebuds yet. The kabuki of warming up a bottle in a machine steamer is largely performative for my sake. That consistency won't be remembered by him, but it'll be remembered by me in a few months when he gets more verbs.
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Apr 4, 2021 06:28
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Went on second social outting with son at 6 weeks. Friend's house had a ceiling fan and lil dude just stared at it the whole time. Also kept looking for his mama when we had family friends holding him and that made wife's day. I scoped out the day care center that is physically closest to my home. It is a center that just got stood up over the last 3-5 months, so the reviews arnt really in yet. But, I've never really paid attention to reviews because I've seen how some of the sausage gets made on those yelps and google guides. The center had certs with letters in the office and a lady who talked to me. Hoping to try out a story time hour after the first round of vaccines.
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Apr 7, 2021 05:33
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PerniciousKnid posted:Honestly I'm not very nice about it. Toothbrushing and diaper changes are two things where I'll just pin them into place if I have to. I'm very not nice when it comes to poop cleaning. Changing table has a lil strap that'll be helpful when lil dude starts wiggling with intent and purpose.
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Apr 7, 2021 20:26
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Hadlock posted:Can you just put them in velcro handcuffs? Kind of serious question? I'm terrified of the "alligator wrestling" phase We live in a disposable future. Goin to Costco to get my diapers, baby wipes and zip ties in bulk.
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Apr 7, 2021 21:26
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Just... Man... When I was a kid I lost so many watches and gameboys. I am having a hard time judging when to cell phone up my baby because I know that he will follow the hereditary path of losing expensive poo poo his parents got for him. Baby burners are like $80-$200 nowadays right? I'm scared to look.
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Apr 8, 2021 21:11
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