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On vacation with my 22 month old, wife, and inlaws. There's this golden hour when my little man wakes up about the same time as I do, where it's just me and him alone as Papa and son. He would ask me for a snack of wheat cracker and milk, then ask to go for a walk on the beach. He knows I'll never say no to a walk, who can? It was 40 minutes of solo bonding time that I'm going to cherish as a memory long after we've come back home. I really enjoy his company, in spite of all the changes his introduction to our lives has brought about over the past ~2 years. Parenting is just something so extremely special and also exhausting, but by golly that big hug I get as he stares down a heron with that toddler glee as the sun rises behind the horizon and the sheer joy he has for it all...gosh. He waves and smiles infectiously at strangers, he jumps for joy and chases at waves crashing the sand, he wants to run with the early morning beach joggers and chase after the plovers. It's also just been recently broached by wife. She *was* taking the opportunity to sleep in, but now she wants to join in. I initially suggested she stay home and sleep a bit more, but my excitement was infectious, the photos and videos I'd capture were just moments she couldn't miss out on, and now we do it together as a family the past two mornings. As we do everything. It's okay. I still have my memories. A Bad King fucked around with this message at 19:52 on May 28, 2022 |
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May 28, 2022 19:50
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It's also really fun to watch language development in person and in real time. We are a bilingual house, with English and Russian spoken at a 30/70 split between them. He understands what we tell him in either language, but he defaults to "what is easier to vocalize," every time. I learned through him that English is simpler than Slavic languages for toddlers. He asks us for the ball when we say, Papa has a new ball for you, in Russian. The Russian word is two syllables with a "chik," at the end -- sounds like work, no thanks! It's all about what is the shortest, easiest, and funnest way (in his mind) to get his point across. We all know some sounds are more fun to make. Kaka over poop. Sahsah over sushka. Paaaah.....PA, instead of just a boring Papa. He refuses to say give me, he invented his own method: "Ah goohLagoohLaGoooh!" Language. How did we even get this far.
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May 28, 2022 20:41
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Hello it was suspected before but now confirmed my wife is carrying twins Two 6 month olds on different sleep schedules. Two 11 month olds with different opinions on steamed carrots and the mouth feel of this mashed potato. Two 2 year olds with different opinions on who gets the red ball, and who gets the green shovel. Where's that Survive! gif.
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May 28, 2022 20:58
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2DEG posted:I straight up declared that if we had twin boys they'd be Petya and Seryozha because that Marshak poem is still firmly lodged in my brain from childhood. Pasha and Sasha. Masha and Anya. unknown posted:The phrase "two year old that got food poisoning" should be one of those things that strikes fear in any parent's mind. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. 24 hours? What could you tell a parent that might prepare them because that is a huge fear of mine for the little person. A Bad King fucked around with this message at 22:14 on May 29, 2022 |
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May 29, 2022 22:11
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Hadlock posted:Pretty sure there's an elaborate cover up happening at the middle and high school levels, I swear that parenting gives you literal brain damage so that we can get through it as a species. I cannot recall very many negative or traumatic moments during the first 18 months, despite knowing deep down that there were moments of projectile feces scattered across the room. Brain damage. It's all positive memories. All moments were fantastic and I want MORE children so I can revisit those golden months once more. I know that this is Utter madness. It's the stupid rewards center of the brain. We are people acting out this madness because children are wonderful and it's a wonderful thing to raise them. So says our lizard brain. When I asked my in-laws, my sister, my parents, why didn't you warn me how hard this is?! -- they replied universally, "We don't remember the hard stuff...not fully. Sorry." Collective brain damage.
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May 29, 2022 22:28
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Our kid wakes at least twice a night, most nights. He's approaching 2. I've been told this is normal for some kids, and it will pass. He's worth our patience and love but goodness does he struggle with sleeping through the night. unknown posted:"Dad, my tummy hurts" Heart-wrenching words. I'm not looking forward to food poisoning bugs. I remember reading in one of the many "prep for parent" books I consumed, and this one billed itself as "just the data, dad," that the data suggests breastfed kids are slightly less susceptible to short term gut infections and that's basically the only hard data for a plus we got on the topic of boob vs bottle?
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May 30, 2022 04:39
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When will this exhaustion stop God someone LIE white lies of hope to me. It was a wonderful weekend. Little man had a blast at the beach, we ate our body weight in fresh fish and seafood and I felt like I was in heaven with the summer beer paired with that glorious sunshine, but holy guacamole do my feet hurt and why can't I lift my arms above my head. I should have started this before my thirties, wtf. Why is it this hard. Why can't it be easier. Why is this how we continue on as a species. Couldn't they just be preformed and ready to take down an elk by year 3, like a wolf pup?
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May 31, 2022 02:58
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nachos posted:I did it. I won a 2 hour battle of wills with my toddler who refused to sleep in her crib. She’s sleeping in her loving crib. Hell yeah
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May 31, 2022 02:59
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Little man learned that if he says potty, we come to him so we can help him to the potty. So now, he adds a game to it: he runs as fast as he can the opposite direction. He does this whether he has to go to the potty or he just wants a run, so we have to assume it's the potty. Also, my father-in-law in conversation with the wife said, matter-of-factly, that staying him to raise children is eeeeaaaaasy, and she complains too often about being tired all the time. The man left her mother when the wife was 8 months old. It really drives home how awful their generation and before could be.
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Jun 14, 2022 19:16
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hallo spacedog posted:Does anyone have recs for good kids music that's fun and high quality? My 13 month old likes Raffi, Music Together, some Sesame Street stuff, etc but I want to find other good options since there's so much poor quality stuff on streaming. Three of my favorite go-to albums:
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Jun 15, 2022 03:36
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Then you gradually introduce Primus....
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Jun 15, 2022 12:47
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bee posted:Listening to my 8 year old belt out Too Many Puppies in the bathtub has been one of my secret joys of the year so far Thank goodness they don't look into the lyrics too hard. It's just YES, PUPPIES SONG!
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Jun 15, 2022 14:20
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Little man has become extremely attached to one particular caregiver at daycare that looks like a 20-something version of papa. He latches onto the guy and they play games the little dude imports to the home and expects me to magically know exactly how to play? At ~2, he doesn't know how to explain what he wants from the game, so I had to get a breakdown from the caregiver while dropping him off. Most of the games involve balls. What is with little people and balls?!?! What evolutionary pressure introduced balls?! It's not just one ball, but a variety. A complex and descending hierarchy of balls depending on bounce, texture, size and weight; with priorities ever-shifting depending on time of day, mood, and location.
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Jun 16, 2022 16:14
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Shifty Pony posted:Ooh ooh I can answer this one. That makes sense! Thanks for sharing. They are fun! Also chase games, games of hiding and finding the hidden thing/person, balancing games, games with water, games involving putting the shape in the right place, games with blocks, games involving indiscriminate or careful destruction/deconstruction, games with unexpected twists, and games that involve playing all the above very very quietly while mama sleeps a bit longer (the hardest kind of game).
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Jun 17, 2022 14:17
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Tom Smykowski posted:My 2 year old has decided that 4am is the ideal time to wake up Then they won't stay awake through morning play time at the park, falling asleep in the car at 1030. Pretty rude, IMHO. Total disregard for other people in scheduling their day.
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Jun 20, 2022 13:21
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Does the thread have any advice on a toddler that defaults to hitting when he doesn't like the thing? I understand that it is common at this age, but redirecting is ineffective if its a *big thing* for him at the time, and holding him still and explaining in a gentle manner that we do not hurt others when we're frustrated with *a thing*...but the being held method only works until you let him go, and then he goes back to smacking Daddy for telling him we do not hit the cat because the cat was sitting on our blanket.  He doesn't even act mad, he's just frustrated and defaulting to "hit the thing to make the thing stop frustrating me."Little humans lacking any control over their impulses is something incredibly interesting to observe, but he will follow me around the room to give me a smack or two just to demonstrate he is still mad that we undressed him when he didn't want to be undressed. A Bad King fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Aug 29, 2022 |
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Aug 29, 2022 17:10
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L0cke17 posted:For our 2 year old it is immediate time out the second he hits someone or something. This is good. What was your experience with initial fallout with a time out?
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Aug 29, 2022 17:37
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Red posted:
This sounds very similar to our current method, but he might just be too young for it to be especially effective at the moment. I will hold his hands together as a "thinking pose," I ask him why did you hit me, he pauses and gives me this look resigned acceptance that he is being kept from hitting me; I ask again, he does his little inflection for when he doesn't understand the question (huhm?) (???), I ask him to tell me whether he wants to use his words, let him go, and smack again. I read his face and his response as, he doesn't know why he does it, he just felt an urge. He will often go to his little tent spot and hide his face, as though he's feeling shame, which is not the reaction I want for him! He won't be verbal at this point, waits for the chance to reiterate his frustration in 15 seconds. We repeat the process, where I hold his hands together and explain that when we feel the way we feel right now, we should not try to hit but instead find a better way such as explaining our feelings aloud. His grandmother, who watches him for us during the weekdays, has her own method -- she fake-cries and tells him she wants nothing to do with him if he hits her, which is just *bad*. I feel like her method is nixing my method in the bud before it can even take root and confusing him even more, but I cannot just tell her to not do it that way, because she is a bit stubborn to say the least about it. L0cke17 posted:Constant meltdowns. But do them anyways. Removing the kid from the situation makes everything better long term. my heart...I get it though. A Bad King fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Aug 29, 2022 |
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Aug 29, 2022 21:10
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Is it normal for a two year old to want to hug, or offer hugs, to every other child he meets? It's become a bit of a funny obsession of his but I worry about the worried looks of over-5's as this ball of energy storms over arms extended thinking everybody agrees on this being the universal language of "give hug now." Also what the heck is with all these parents just entering public spaces with their children having a pronounced and obvious dry cough/bronchitis infection?
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Sep 19, 2022 13:21
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Mind_Taker posted:Yes that is very normal. Our kids don’t do it but we are greeted every day by at least 2 kids in daycare who give them hugs. It’s very cute. I love his love, but I mean...I see a lot of "whoa there," dread with the older kids. I should just lighten up and appreciate this age.
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Sep 19, 2022 13:29
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remigious posted:I hope I’m doing the right thing with my 20 month old in regards to bodily autonomy. For example, I ask him if we can get him dressed for the day and explain that I’m going to change his pants. Unfortunately he always says “no!” but of course I do it anyway lol. I’m hopeful that one day soon he’ll be a more active/willing participant in getting dressed. Have you offered them multiple choices in clothes? It's fun to watch as they suffer from indecision on whether they want to wear the shirt with the doggies or the shirt with the train on this specific afternoon. Then, self-pride as they point at the dog or train and announce that yes, this is their choice. Brawnfire posted:I love my daughter's reactions to bugs Spiders are especially wonderous! They help keep the house clean of pests and try to stay out of our way! A Bad King fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Sep 19, 2022 |
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Sep 19, 2022 16:47
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wizzardstaff posted:Yeah the feelings of hypocrisy are weird and real. No one should touch you without consent but we're still going to bodily move you if necessary. If we did nothing without affirmed consent between the ages of 20mo-3yr there would be a lot of child mortality in the world. Just today there was a death wish to leap three stair-lengths down from the stairwell because ???, and that is why they need authoritative sources of information to guide them from immediate unknowing self-harm.
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Sep 19, 2022 16:54
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remigious posted:This seems so obvious but no, I haven’t tried it! I will present him with some pajama choices tonight and see how that goes Some of my advice regarding this, make sure to limit it to two choices at the most, and be sure to be patient regarding their decision, given that in my experience my two year old spends 5-6 minutes with an internal monologue externally verbalized with "hmms" and "huuuhs" complete with relishing hand gestures weighing the pros and cons of each and changing his decisions twice before settling on the Monkey See Monkey Do Monkey Gets In Trouble Too paired with the Chicago Bears shorts. Bonus if you find one of those tiny changing stations with a mirror at their height where you can hang your preselected choices for them, where they can grab their choices at a time and weigh their options with minimum need for the parent to collaborate.
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Sep 19, 2022 18:26
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left_unattended posted:I don't even want kids and this makes my ovaries ache Half the time he just takes everything off the hangers and toss it on the floor a few times before making a choice he will change in 5 seconds. So basically an adult.
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Sep 20, 2022 01:10
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nachos posted:Having a great bodily autonomy lesson this morning as I have to pin my toddler down to wipe her butt because she’s going through another constipation-to-diarrhea cycle I am still shocked and amazed at the sheer difficulty level in trying to pin a small person who really doesn't want A Thing to happen. It's like trying to physically barehand down a gazelle!
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Sep 20, 2022 15:11
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We started elimination communication early in life, so my son hasn't needed to wear a diaper since age 10mo. There are still accidents obviously (especially when he's excited about something going on and he just doesn't want to spend the a minute on a potty break), but these diaper stories constantly reaffirm we made the right choice. "Babies hate peeing or pooping themselves and you can help them learn to communicate when they have to go," should be in every parenting handbook that doesn't get handed out at the maternity ward.
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Sep 20, 2022 15:39
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We started with assuming the position and making psspssspsss and urghurghurgh sounds at 3mo. Basically legs up to chest back on us facing the direction of desired flow. Went from there to potty by a few months later. Had to be attentive. You learn their body schedules for the most part -- he eats an apple, likely needs to pee! Has it been 30 minutes since his last pee and he had a drink between? Let's offer him the chance to pee on the potty by sitting him there, and communicate that this is when we try to let it all out, he associates the potty with pee now... They have a much more limited amount of storage space than adults on the pee front, so we learned to offer an opportunity to pee every 40 minutes of active time I'd say...poop is a different story................. There is a TARDIS in that colon idk idk idk Then he started telling us when he noticed he had to pee but he couldn't get himself to a potty or pull down his own pants. Then he learned he can do it himself. No diapers! Down with diapers! Who wants to pee their pants, no one! It was a Lot of work that my wife and to a lesser extent I put in.
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Sep 21, 2022 04:02
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GoutPatrol posted:Anyone have advice for first time swimming? Kid is 14 months and we're going to a baby spa just to test out playing in the water (not a pool, its basically just a hot tub with clear sides.) If they like doing that then I want to start doing more "real" swimming lessons soon. I'd been waiting until they got at least 2 covid shots. Just demonstrate how fun being in the water can be; at the age of 14 months, you can help them learn about blowing bubbles in the water, laying on their stomach and back, and generally make it a safe and happy place to be. Your attitude will help immensely, and making games out of it will also earn them confidence that yes this is where we want to spend our time. Throw a ball and help them "swim" to it in a race against mommy/daddy! Water toys, especially buckets and cups that let them move water around from one spot to another. Wearing goggles and learning that dipping the head underwater can actually mean seeing a whole different perspective (daddy's belly, except blue and underwater). Take them to the aquarium and let them watch belugas and dolphins playing and swimming beneath the water, and associate it with pool activity time. If you make it into a weekly thing, where you're going to the pool 2 days a week or so, they can be doing really crazy things by age ~18mo-24mo -- diving from the side of the pool and doing flips underwater; swimming 8 or more feet of distance toward you with goggles; standing on your hands, and jumping into the water from your shoulder-height with little toddler water acrobatics. Swimming lessons will help you structure your time with them in the pool but won't actually be impactful enough to teach them how to actually swim. That requires commitment from the parent to practice practice and practice with the little person, and the little person to agree that this is fun and entertaining. It is fun, and it is an activity they will yell for just as loudly as they do for going to the park or their playmate's house, and if you enjoy swimming it can be a moment of pride that you have a toddler who can swim across the smaller width of the pool with only minimal supervision. Humans are super cool like that. The summary is, get them and yourself super comfortable with being in a place that can very quickly drown them. A Bad King fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Sep 22, 2022 |
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Sep 22, 2022 21:28
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Nearly all his poop goes in the potty though. No one who understands there are alternatives to going number 2 in a diaper, likes to poo their pants. My son will literally warn us 10+ minutes before he actually has to go poop that he intends to poop so that we can prepare the logistics of the poop.
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Sep 22, 2022 21:35
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Asking the thread if it is common for toddlers to consume a whole half-rack of pork ribs in one sitting or if portion sizes are still a thing at this age???? He kept demanding ribs. More, and more. Ate his buckwheat. Ate his veggies. Ate 8 ribs. Asking for more. This is after an intense playdate, but by god he eats and eats and still stays the same toddler size. I thought this could be expected at year 14???
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Sep 22, 2022 21:41
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Hadlock posted:About to lose my poo poo, toddler has not stopped fussing for five days I'm sorry that this is happening to you. If you're open to suggestions, take a photo of your little person during the tantrum so that you can later bring it up on your phone and perhaps laugh reminiscently about these horrible days. I started trying this out recently, and it helps to get me into a reoriented focus on what's important and what's not. It isn't very fun, but also quite hilarious two days after The Event, that they screamed bloody murder at the top of their lungs for 20 minutes+++ because you told them "do not do that," after they raspberry at you while sitting at the breakfast table with a mouth full of kasha. edit: including for emphasis  Hadlock posted:I tested for positive covid, so maybe that is what is up. Will test toddler in the morning. She did mon-tue-wed at daycare last week (was testing negative sunday, monday when symptoms arrived) so kind of feels like a moot point to take her out at this point, but maaaaaybe there's the remotest chance that she didn't already infect everyone (was in class mon-tue-wed) so I guess I should keep her out. It's tomorrow now, so it'll have been 11 days since scratchy throat presented itself, which means more than likely she'll test negative. She was fully vaxxed at least(?) 
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Oct 6, 2022 15:41
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We have our son "arresting" his hands behind his back after every mood where he impulsively smacks a thing or us. It's adorable, it redirects his negative smacking energy, and he resets his mood. He backs away and we can discuss the moment that caused him to hit first before using his words! Grandma was doing it forcefully for a while, and while we cannot change her behavior, we can learn to work around it to get a good end result. It took some creativity from the wife, and now I keep turning back on that thought in my head: parenting requires a lot of creative juice to come up with clever ways to provide authoritative guidance to these little people. They all have these unique challenges, and while each child is built off of the basic "human" template, yet very very different from one another even during the "4th trimester," phase. It makes advice that fits all scenarios basically unlikely to work every time, so we will never ever dry up the Parenting Advice publishing industries. I dunno, feel like I'm free-flowing a well-trod thought in this post. I'm just happy to be involved in this whole raising a person thing we all got going on in this thread. Super happy. Stoked as hell. Glad it is almost impossible to express the difficulty level of child-raising in language because if we knew-knew what it meant I don't know if we could keep on trucking as a species. How do giraffes do this?! Bonobos?! Do they just have more patience?
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Oct 6, 2022 15:58
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:I can’t say how well it’s “working” with our 4 and 6 year olds, but most of our parenting is “you get good and nice things when you’re being good and nice. You don’t get good and nice things when you’re being naughty”. Providing choices is basically 90% of this house's go-to as well. They're not clever enough themselves to design a third choice, and if they proffer you a third option you can just reinforce that choice three means choice bad if it doesn't align with your intentions/goals for them.
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Oct 6, 2022 16:44
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citybeatnik posted:My daughter only eats the stems of broccoli for reasons that escape me. hah! I did the same until I was ~9 years old, the whole family and our neighbors at the same dinner table addressed the behavior and applied heavy peer pressure and emphasis to "just try the crown!" Kids are stupid and funny.  nachos posted:My daughter has learned to say no in obnoxiously cute ways over the past couple weeks I love those "no's," especially when they're nonsensible, like after asking them if they want to taste this ice cream -- little person, you should try this ice cream right now! You've had it before. It's presented to you in the same manner as previously when you discovered the joy of it. Where is this adorable "no" coming from?
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Oct 11, 2022 17:27
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Does the thread have any advice on acclimating a toddler to a new little brother? We brought home a 7lb 14oz addition to the family on Sunday, and the little big bro loves the tiny human. Constant gentle kisses, asking questions, and more than willing to be helpful with the diaper station -- bringing a new diaper, a new blanket for swaddling, etc. Never expected it to be this easy and I can't help but beam with pride at his sweetness toward this blob of a tiny guy. The only hurdle so far, and it's been just ~24 hours, is that when the little guy screams his communicative scream for food/cleaning/burping/scream, the toddler loses it in fear and breaks down into tears as well. I think he's scared? It's definitely a scared scream, very similar to when he saw his mom with contractions. Does this go away? So far, we are reiterating that this is how his little brother can communicate. He cannot use words, so he uses his lungs. He isn't hurt, he isn't in pain or struggling, he just needs a new diaper or wants some boob time. I think this is the right way to do it, but my heart is breaking for my older son. He didn't want to leave the house with daddy this morning because he wanted to just sit and stare at little brother for as long as possible. Oh my god they're perfect for one another.
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Oct 17, 2022 16:38
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Lead out in cuffs posted:My 2yo after pooping on the potty and then flushing it down the toilet:  We (I) shot ourselves in the foot recently. My 2yo loves this book, The Wonky Donkey. I, the idiot, looked up the music that accompanies the book, and started playing it along with reading the book. It's now the only music that plays in our house.
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Nov 3, 2022 13:05
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COVID has struck again. Daycares are cesspools, I swear. Grandma took the toddler for three nights straight while the wife and I exchange fevers and care for our newborn.
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Nov 7, 2022 00:40
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We're trying elimination communication with the newborn and I've beared witness to FIVE jets of projectile yellow gold poo. I can never stop laughing at it. He must feel so good afterwards!!! Newborns poop like autocannons and it's so funny.
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Nov 7, 2022 00:42
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I made a game out of adding a "-y," or "ie" sound to caregiver titles and names to make them cute and funny. The little man will call himself "I'm a COLD cold Pashiiiiie," when just out of the bath and say "paaaapi!" when he wants to attention from Papi for being cuter than cute. Mother wants to be titled Mama, and only Mama, and she gives me a glower when he calls her mommy. Caregiver titles shouldn't be so serious, though! He knows first names but prefers caregiver titles. Little people often won't have strong opinions on which title or inflection, or string of vowels are required get a response from their caregiver as long as they get the response, but if they suddenly do I think it's best to consider it a phase and run with it. This time is so short, these golden years will be missed so rapidly.
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Nov 14, 2022 17:23
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Why is parenthood so rad? I'm just chock full of happy brain chemistry in spite of my general exhaustion. My toddler is forming full sentences and every word that comes from his adorable mouth is too cute to not sear into my brain with its corresponding injection of perfectly balanced dopamine and serotonin. Why are their voices so cute?!?! He's adopted the nickname of Mister No at his grandparents, but with me he's just full of talking about his day, about how his beluga plush is currently swimming in the water with his donkey plush, about why the moon isn't visible right now (clouds), or why this apple is crisp while the previous one was mush (green vs red). A week ago, he was so sick that he was half-awake through the night -- sad, right? BUT -- he was verbal about his dreams! I got a straight-up insight into his dreams!!! He dreams about his grandmom, about lemon tea, about swimming in the pool with both his papa and his mama and his baby brother. He dreams that it is snowing outside, and he wants his shovel. He dreams about his friend at daycare and his friend's very fun dad whose name he butchers in an adorable way. All caught through snippets of verbalization between sickness-induced apnea.
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Dec 13, 2022 21:42
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