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Hey parenting thread! I'm not a parent but I'm a nanny who works with two school-age girls (7 and 10) and I was hoping someone here might be able to give me some ideas on how to get the younger one to focus. Maybe some other parents of 7-year-olds can give me ideas on what helps their kids stay on task? So here's the dealio: both girls have to get certain things done before we leave for after-school activities or before they're allowed to go to friends' houses, etc. These things are homework, one Kumon math packet, and piano practice. The 10 year old is great at getting her poo poo done and she understands that if she puts it off or gets distracted, it will take longer and she'll have less time to do fun stuff. 7-year-old seems to understand this concept some days, and not understand it other days. There are times where she will finish all of her homework, totally power through her math packet like a champ, and go straight to practicing piano - but those days are rare. Most days she starts her homework, and then after like two minutes she gets out of her chair, plays with the dog, just walks around - pretty much doing whatever she can to put off her work. I have to remind her 8 million times, "Sit down and stay on task, please. I can help you if you're having trouble. Are you having trouble with some of the problems?" The answer is always, "No," and then she goes back to doing it and I can see that she understands the material and is capable of doing it. And then within minutes she is out of her chair again. She usually does it at the kitchen table with her sister, and her sister doesn't distract her or talk usually - and if she does then I just remind her to not disrupt the younger one, and she always complies. The kitchen table is bare and the kitchen itself is pretty boring and distraction-free. I've tried sending the little one up to her room to do her work, but a) she gets really upset because she sees being sent to her room as a punishment and b) the minute she gets up there she screams "I NEED YOU TO COME TO MY ROOM AND HELP MEEE!" (when I go up there it's obvious that she doesn't need help, she just wants me to hang out in the room with her so she can stop working every two seconds and tell me something or try to play with me instead of doing her work.) I tried setting a timer once for her Kumon (I have seen her finish these packets in 10 minutes so I usually set the timer for 15-20, and she does very similar timed tests every week in school), and I framed it as a fun beat-the-clock challenge, not as a "finish this quickly or you're in trouble" kind of thing, and she just says "STOP THE TIMER! The timer is stressing me out and I can't focus!" Is staying on task just a skill that comes with age or is there anything I can do to get her to focus? Again, her older sister is great at staying focused, and as a result she gets done way earlier and is allowed to spend more time doing stuff that she wants to do. This leads to the 7-year-old complaining that her sister "gets to do everything fun" while she "never gets to do anything ever." tl;dr 7-year old has trouble focusing and I'm not sure what to do to help her.
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Oct 2, 2012 02:20
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:35 |
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dreamcatcherkwe posted:Is she expected to sit still and do all of these things right after school? That sounds like too much to expect from a 7 year old. We always take a 20 to 30 minute break when we get home from school. Also, the younger one gets out of school 30 minutes before the older one, so while we wait for her older sister, the younger one runs around on the playground at school and hangs out with her friends. So she has a chance to get her wiggles out, and then when we get home, both girls have a chance to relax and do what they want for a bit. And they're both really good about stopping what they're doing and getting their homework out when the break is over. But I often feel like all the work and activities their parents pile on are too much for the 7-year-old. They have after-school activities Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, (Wednesdays and Fridays they have two activities, one right after the other - it's kind of insane) so on those days we barely have time to complete everything. The 10-year-old seems to handle everything fine and is actually pretty responsible about prioritizing her work and managing her time. 7-year-old sometimes tells me she feels "stressed," which is not a word that I like to hear a 2nd grader use to describe how she's feeling so often.  I have told their parents about all of this and their attitude is, "haha yeah she sure hates focusing! Just make her do it."
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Oct 2, 2012 02:34
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AngryRobotsInc posted:Yeah, that sounds like quite a bit for a 7 year old to do all in a row. We do this sometimes too, and it works out so much better, but there are so many days when we just don't have the time. Like today, for example, we had to go to piano class at 5. We all got home from school at 3, took a 30 minute break, and by 3:30 we were starting on homework. I took a look at what 7-year-old had and it was a lot - simple stuff that I know she can do, but just a lot of it (literally 5 pages that she was required to color tonight, a spelling thing, a lengthy math thing, and a book report that she needs to finish.) On top of that she still had Kumon and piano practice as well. She is an extremely slow homework-doer (even when she doesn't get up out of her seat and get distracted, she just works really slowly), and so based on all of the stuff she had to do it was pretty clear that we just didn't have time for the in-between breaks today. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, when we don't have any after-school activities, it's a LOT better - but still, for 3 out of the 5 days that I have them, there is just so much to do, and their parents are very strict about them finishing everything before they get home because they seem to kind of have an aversion to doing homework with their kids.
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Oct 2, 2012 02:45
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Shnakepup posted:Any advice on getting a seven year old boy to stop wasting shampoo/soap in the shower and generally wasting time when he's in the bathroom? I realize that, to some degree, you just have to accept that a seven year old is going to play, but it's something that's always bothered my wife and I. Like, we don't mind if he plays as long as he gets washed and doesn't take too long, but we've noticed that unless we literally time him (and tell him "we're timing you and if you're not done in [x] minutes you'll be punished) he spends way too long in the bathroom. Like, we'll tell him "go brush your teeth and take a shower" and he'll disappear in there for 30 minutes...and when we go to check on him, he's still "brushing his teeth" but has clearly been playing with the water/toothbrush/toilet/whatever. Is your son one of those kids who absolutely hates "baby stuff" or anything associated with being a "little kid"? And/or does he take pride in being a big kid and doing big kid things? Because if so you could always say, "If you can't stop messing around and wasting time in the bathroom, we're going to have to come in there with you and help you brush your teeth, and help you bathe, just like we did when you were a little kid." If he's not the type who hates baby stuff then this could backfire horribly and he might wind up being like "Sure mom and dad just do it for me all the time." But I've had some success with the 6-to-8-year-old crowd just giving them the ultimatum of "if you can't prove to me that you can do this task by yourself like a big kid then I will have to you it for you as if you were a little kid." edit: Also is there any motivation on his part to finish his bathroom activities within a certain time frame, aside from the motivation of not being punished? Does he respond to rewards? Maybe you could set the timer and tell him "If you are done in the bathroom before the timer goes off then you can have (whatever little thing he responds to; an extra TV show, an extra book before bed, a cool sticker)." Budget Bears fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Dec 28, 2012 |
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Dec 28, 2012 20:25
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Istari posted:Hi, goons. You'll definitely need to get a feel for how much English they know first, but if their English is limited enough that they need to learn the English words for basic objects, you could show them songs like "Head, Shoulders Knees & Toes." You could play Simon Says and vary the things they have to do depending on their English fluency (for example if they're still getting familiar with basic English vocabulary, simple requests like "Simon says touch your nose," "Simon says point to the chair" will do, but if they're more fluent you can give more complex instructions like "Simon says spin around twice and touch the floor.") You can play Red Light Green Light and vary the vocabulary that you use for "stop" and "go." ("Halt!"/"Continue!") You can play simplified Pictionary. For the littlest one(s) who aren't quite at that level of direction following, you'll probably have more luck reading a lot of English children's books together and describing what you see. Point to the pictures, talk about details in the pictures, etc. If the weather permits, you can also go on walks and talk about what you see out in the world. You could involve the older kids by making scavenger hunts (find five blue cars, two white houses, etc.) Honestly, they're young enough that they're going to pick up a lot just from having you around, constantly talking to them in English. Use varied and descriptive words, read out loud from chapter books aimed at grade schoolers, prompt them to describe things to you as much as possible. Praise them for their English accomplishments, no matter how small they seem to you. If you want to get really into it you could create some kind of sticker chart or other reward system that tracks their individual achievements, but that might be tricky with so many different ages and skill levels. Also, it might be worthwhile to check out the library/bookstore for ESL resources just to get a feel for the kinds of activities that ESL teachers like to do with students.
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Sep 16, 2013 06:09
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:35 |
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Konomex posted:Someone had told me trying to be understanding during a child's tantrum is the best way to diffuse it. Acknowledge they're upset and why they're upset and explain why they can't have/do the thing they want. Give them a hug if possible. I've had pretty consistent success with this, although I am a child care worker, not a parent, so I can understand if some parents would rather go the time out route. It can't hurt to set the precedent for "screaming and crying will not get you what you want" early on. But yeah, 98% of the time, I've been able to diffuse tantrums with just telling the kid what they're probably feeling ("oh no! You really REALLY don't want to put your shoes on. You want to go outside NOW, you have no time for shoes!") And sometimes, depending on the kid, humor can help after I've addressed their feelings. ("Should we put your shoes on your hands instead? How about your bottom?")
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Oct 2, 2013 06:50
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