|
In the academia thread, someone posted that Springer is making a bunch of textbooks available for free during COVID19. One of them is "Evidence-Based Interventions for Children with Challenging Behavior", which might be of general interest to parents (at least the first few chapters): https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4614-7807-2
|
#
¿
May 6, 2020 21:36
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Dec 17, 2025 03:06 |
|
|
So for our upcoming baby shower, my partner is getting a friend to buy us something called a "Baby K'tan Carrier". I now feel obligated to get some kind of WH40K and/or Settlers of
|
|
#
¿
Sep 15, 2020 20:00
|
|
|
DaveSauce posted:Funny name, but those are one of the better carriers out there. They're like the Moby wrap, but WAY less work to put on. It's also way cheaper and easier to carry around than a structured carrier (like a Baby Bjorn or a Lillebaby). Oh yeah, for sure. We've already been given some hand-me-down carriers -- an Ergobaby and a BabyBjorn, but we'd heard the wraps are better for a newborn.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 15, 2020 20:42
|
|
|
Shifty Pony posted:Now naps... naps are hell. I know that catnaps are "normal" for a 3.5 month old but gently caress could we use more than 25min off in a go and we would really appreciate it if he would get bored of his new trick of smashing toys into his face when he's tired (stimulating him to keep him awake, but he screams when you try to get him to do something else). He fights naps in the crib over half the time, doesn't like being worn, and it is almost always too hot here for a walk so we often end up putting him in the swing where we have to keep watch to make sure he stays in a safe position. We're kinda at our wits end over it and somewhat guiltily getting excited about upcoming daycare arrangements when we might, maybe, get a small amount of our sanity back. I'm assuming you know about and are working with the 90-minute alertness cycle?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 19, 2020 20:08
|
|
|
BonoMan posted:When my kid was in Kindergarten last year I was overwhelmed with the amount of homework. It was ridiculous. This year our first grade teacher sent a note saying "I believe your kid should be spending time with family and friends after school and not just constantly doing homework. If I do detect your child will need some extra help, I might send home a sheet or two. Do not spend more than 15 minutes on them. They need to be a kid. " Wait, they give homework in kindergarten now? OK, it sounds like some kindergartens give kids homework, but it's generally regarded as a bad idea: https://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2018/11/12/kindergarten-homework-too-much-too-early.html I'm glad your kid's first grade teacher is more reasonable, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that kindergarten experience.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 22, 2020 00:49
|
|
|
So our (soon to be born) kid will have access to up to three nationalities -- Canadian from his mother (and I guess me too soon once I get around to that), and UK/South African from me. I've done some research on what's required to sort out all the birth registration stuff to ensure he gets and keeps that. Canada quote:Here's a multi-step on-stop online form that'll sort you out with a birth certificate, child tax credit, provincial healthcare, and a SIN for your child.  UK quote:You can’t register the birth with the UK authorities. However, the birth certificate you are given in Canada will be recognised and accepted in the UK, so this isn’t necessary.  South Africa quote:DHA-24 Notice of Birth Form. Please request forms from the Consulate General in Toronto or South African High Commission in Ottawa by sending in a self-addressed stamped envelope (size A4 30cm x 24 cm) . The envelope should be able to fit an unfolded page.  When Terry Gilliam made the movie Brazil, he named it that because Brazil was supposed to have one of the most Byzantine bureaucracies in the world. I'm pretty sure South Africa can give them a run for their money. The bit about only being able to register the birth on a physical piece of paper that was printed in South Africa and then shipped around the world is a nice touch.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 23, 2020 00:18
|
|
|
hooah posted:Benadryl is also not a good medicine in general (ignore the somewhat click-bait title). You know, I've seen these articles too. I've also been reading a book called "After the Checkup", which is written by a young pediatrician, and is all about evidence-based stuff you can or should be doing to take care of your kids. He's super meticulous about everything, complete with a long list of references to the medical literature. He mentions benadryl, with a few precautions (like the hyperactivity thing), but in a "definitely have this in your medicine cabinet" kind of way. Like, if it's for allergies, as Hadlock said, you're much better off with loratidine, or aerius, or other second-generation anithistamines. But for the colds which your kid will get, there are pediatricians who recommend it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2020 07:36
|
|
|
Hadlock posted:Not trying to be snarky, honestly curious, do they recommend it as a kid-safe off the shelf sedative, or is there another reason, maybe as a general anti inflammatory or something, with the side effect of knocking out your kid Huh. So I've now gone through the whole book and read everything he says about benadryl (the book has an index). He mainly does recommend it as front-line treatment of mild allergy symptoms, especially rashes and eczema. He does not mention using it for treating colds. He once mentions people asking about using it as a sedative for flying, and says that neither the AAP nor he recommend that. Reading around a little, I think the main reason it is recommended for allergies is that it is more efficacious than second-generation treatments, but with the downside of drowsiness. e.g. St Louis Childrens' hospital says "Use loratadine mainly if drowsiness from Benadryl interferes with function." And while young (pre-K) kids are doing a lot of hard work developing their brains, it's not like they need to operate dangerous machinery or meet performance goals to avoid being fired. https://www.stlouischildrens.org/health-resources/dosage-tables/loratadine-claritin-dosage-table
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2020 21:07
|
|
|
Slimy Hog posted:I remember liking this one: Yeah that one is good. I think your link is broken, but this should work: https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-5th-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558329102/ davebo posted:We got great photos but right before the final pushing started (after 39 hours of labor) I set my phone to record and just set it down to grab the audio. It's a pretty great memory to have. Our prenatal class teacher was at one birth where everyone wore GoPros. Oh yeah, one other useful bit of advice for Hadlock (and in general re: partner support) is this: you (and your doula if you have one) are there to advocate for your partner with the medical staff. There are a lot of medical interventions available for birth. These can be critical in some situations. And, in other situations, a practitioner may just be covering their rear end, or even worse, just trying to give a resident an opportunity to perform a procedure to check off some boxes. Some practitioners are great about checking in and explaining what they're doing. Some practitioners just do procedures without asking or even telling the person they're being done on. That's fine in an emergency. But 99% or more of the time in most births is not an emergency. There's a useful rubric going around for questions you should ask a practitioner about a procedure, to help your partner make a decision about whether to have it: quote:E- Is this an Emergency? Obviously if the answer to the first question is "yes", then you stand back and let them do their thing. Otherwise, you should be getting answers to the other questions before they do anything. Our prenatal class added the questions "Who will be doing the procedure?" and "How much experience do they have doing this procedure?" Our teacher had seen situations where the OB would explain about and get consent to do a procedure, giving the impression that they would be the one doing it, but keeping their wording a little ambiguous. Then, when the time came, the resident who had been standing next to the OB would walk into the room and do the procedure.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2020 21:37
|
|
|
sheri posted:Man our daycare when he was an infant cost $190 a week.. Trying not to post too much of a DnD post about this, but yeah, living in a place with minimal government regulation and funding of daycare just sucks so hard.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2020 15:11
|
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:Man we got a shitload of clothes from my big sister, who has had 3 sons (now ages 13-21, our boys are 7), we're gonna thrawl through them and keep what we like the most, don't got space for all these clothes. Rest will goto charity. These are all around size 160, boys are currently using 122-130 size, so they should fit in a few years. Yeah really. We haven't bought a single item of clothing for our newborn, and even told people not to buy for us, because we got so many hand-downs. That said, our son is around 95th percentile for length, so we may need to be getting a few onesies that fit better on long skinny babies. Edit: growing up, my parents didn't but us a lot of clothes, because my mom got a much from her older sister. Those went on through me and my brothers, and some went further on to my mom's younger sister and her kids. There are probably items of clothing that went through eight of us in total. Lead out in cuffs fucked around with this message at 10:32 on Nov 2, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Nov 2, 2020 10:30
|
|
|
Hadlock posted:Looks like there are about 20,000 visas issued annually. This makes it a target of conservative anti immigration (even if temporary) and pro labor groups. Every side can always pull out choice cases Yeah dude, I know you have a newborn and are in sleep deprivation hell, but you're still being overly combatative. The au pair program is an exchange, not an immigration program, and it isn't anti-immigration to point out that the way it's structured right now is exploitative. Anyway, a) the program isn't running right now, so it's kinda moot, and b) didn't you say you were living in a 2BR? That would get real crowded real quick. And no, it would not be ok to ask an au pair to double up with your kid in a room. Nanny share is likely going to be the way to go for you. It'll give your kid some valuable social interaction, and you're only dealing with employing someone, not employing and accommodating them in a high CoL area. But do look up what your local regulations are, as these may vary by state. Over here, a nanny is capped at two kids, so it's a 50/50 split between you and the other family. Do the math on a fair living wage for your area vs the cost of daycare. Also while COVID continues, make sure that you and the other family have compatible levels of caution/risk around that. You are adding each other to your social bubbles. And good luck!
|
|
#
¿
Nov 3, 2020 06:14
|
|
|
On a lighter note, why do they call then "receiving blankets"? Can we not get a more descriptive term, like "vomit receptacle" or "pukerag"?
|
|
#
¿
Nov 3, 2020 16:47
|
|
|
A tea towel sort of thing you drape over your shoulder to catch the puke when you burp them.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 3, 2020 22:00
|
|
|
wizzardstaff posted:I am disappointed that my kid doesn't have the attention span to listen to me read The Hobbit, but we'll get there one day. In the meantime, when it comes to "books with ten sentences you read over and over" I want to plug the "Little People, Big Dreams" series. They are biographies of scientists, artists, authors, performers, etc with big colorful illustrations. They're still short and repetitive but at least the subject matter is interesting. Thanks! This owns. Got the David Bowie one now and started reading it to our one-week-old. It'll be a while before he'll understand, but as others have been saying, it's a good idea to start anyway.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 6, 2020 07:41
|
|
|
I just wanted to say: I've been reading this thread for the past several months during the pregnancy, and was a little daunted by the sheer volume of FML posts. But now our kid is here, two and a half weeks old, and I really get it. There's some parenting instinct/brainworms that just makes you not care about all the hardship, no matter how much you complain. I feel like we need a smilie for this or something.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2020 06:31
|
|
|
Buy a $20 universal remote and remove or tape down the volume buttons then keep the original somewhere your kid can't get to it?
|
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2020 08:10
|
|
|
marchantia posted:It's hard to explain until you're in it. Congrats! Newborn age can be very difficult but you will make it through! It's all about survival mode for that first month or so. Give yourself and your partner as much grace as possible! Thanks! Yeah we're lucky in that we can both take parental leave together for the first three months. (Then I have to go back to work...) But yeah we've got a good rhythm going where I take the night shift from 9pm - 4am, only waking her for feedings. This got a but rough two nights ago, since our kid's been getting a lot of reflux, mainly during my shift. So last night we got the
|
|
#
¿
Nov 19, 2020 07:01
|
|
|
Our 7WO really does not like going in his diaper. He'll do it, but will generally complain when he does. Often, he'll wait until we change him and then go on the change table while we have the diaper off. So we bought him a potty, and tried that out last night (holding him over it - he's too small to sit up), and he happily pooped in the potty. Now we just need to figure out the burbles and cries that mean "I need to go, could you get this diaper off?" Also fingers crossed that he continues like this. On the flipside, it'd be great if he were able to feed without getting reflux and needing to be upright and soothed for 30 mins to two hours, every single time.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 22, 2020 04:22
|
|
|
Xun posted:Not quite parenting, I have a younger SIL (10 years old) who apparently really looks up to me and my girlfriend. Does anyone have any advice for being a good role model wrt to stuff like eating vegetables and internet safety? Not veggies and maybe only one aspect of internet safety, but my partner and I are planning on getting some books from the Sex Positive Families reading list for our kid (once he's old enough to talk and then read). There are a lot of good books there about bodily safety, consent and boundaries, which is definitely one part of internet safety (and safety in relationships, etc). There are also a lot of good books on gender, race and LGBTQ+ issues. And books about sexuality, but I'd definitely check with the parents before getting those for their kid. https://sexpositivefamilies.com/resources/reading-list/#tween
|
|
#
¿
Dec 30, 2020 11:26
|
|
|
L0cke17 posted:It may be early, but we got a potty training toilet for our 7.5mo. He telegraph's his poops very consistently so we're just gonna start by putting him on it every time he does. Don't know if that's gonna be a good idea this young, but might as well try it and see how it goes. Our 2mo is using the potty at least 50% of the time now, for both poo and pee. We're doing elimination communication, which basically holds that there's no age too young to be offering a kid opportunities to go outside the diaper. We've had friends who did it, and had their kids fully toilet trained by age 2. So yeah, nothing wrong with what you're doing, and look into elimination communication if you want a bit of a framework and other ideas.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 1, 2021 20:32
|
|
|
Tonton Macoute posted:The new thread title stings. Get counseling and talk to your partner about your needs. A couples counselor can help facilitate that conversation if you have trouble talking about it.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 2, 2021 12:51
|
|
|
Tonton Macoute posted:Thank you. I am sure you mean well and I appreciate that. We are overdue for that sort of thing, but the way 2020 has been going, it's complicated right now. Proverbially speaking, I'd rather have the shore in sight before starting to rock the boat. Yeah sorry if I was short - it was right before going to bed. But as others have said, alone time / introvert time is super important for your and your partner's mental health. You should figure out an equitable system with your partner to get that.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 3, 2021 01:56
|
|
|
Yeah one of the issues is that the OP itself says this:Eggplant Wizard posted:2. Try not to use this as a Facebook thread or a LiveJournal. While we are all excited to share the adorable and oh so clever thing our little snoogums did just the other day, resist the temptation to use this thread for those purposes. Stories about your young ones and anecdotes are fine, as long as they're in the context of what's being discussed. Violation of this rule will get you put into a time out. Just wait until your father gets home! Which kind-of reads like "do not post positive anecdotes about your kids unless they're immediately topical". If people aren't sharing that stuff, the only things to really talk about are the struggles. Personally I'd be fine with folks "shar[ing] the adorable and oh so clever thing our little snoogums did just the other day".
|
|
#
¿
Jan 4, 2021 06:01
|
|
|
Alterian posted:I'll start a topic for us with kids a little older that's not "bad" or "braggy", I just hope I don't open a can of worms with it. It sounds like you're doing a great job so far of navigating your child's gender identity! If more books would be helpful, I posted a reading list a couple of pages back. There is a thread on the forums for trans folk - I think it ended up under Cool Chat Central or whatever it is under BYOB. That might be a good place to ask about experiences, and/or find resources.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 4, 2021 20:41
|
|
|
Panfilo posted:I used the Bean Dad controversy to teach my kid how to use a can opener. I asked if she wanted to figure it out herself and she said yes, and spent ten minutes fiddling with the can opener to try to work it out. But unlike Bean Dad I actually stood by and offered hints and suggestions, encouraging her when she got close to figuring it out. This is great! I've done a lot of volunteering at a community bike shop, showing people how to fix bikes, and the mantra is "never take the tool away from someone"*. It's super valuable for learning manual skills to let people figure it out for themselves (with verbal direction). * Unless they're about to seriously damage something or themselves.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 9, 2021 07:27
|
|
|
Tummy time always makes me think of the Void-Kampff test. You reach down and flip the baby over on its tummy, [Name]. The baby lays on its tummy, its belly pressed against the carpet, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, [Name]?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 11, 2021 06:27
|
|
|
space uncle posted:I don’t know what happened but my two month old baby hates it when I feed him now. Not sure if it’s nipple confusion or preferring breast milk over formula or what but I feel like a massive failure. Just handed him off to Mom after he had a complete meltdown over an ounce of formula and it sounds like she got him to drink it no problem. What the gently caress. Yeah their stomach gets bigger with time.  Our 2.5mo is having a small developmental leap, which is making him extra fussy, but is also very cute. He's starting to babble a lot of vowel-consonant stuff, and I just had a long "conversation" with him doing phrase-length sing song tonal stuff. He's also doing this slow, rhythmical, "Ah! Ah! Ah!" thing when we laugh, which we think is him figuring out how to laugh himself.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 17, 2021 08:35
|
|
|
boquiabierta posted:Just found out my 12-month-old might be allergic to milk, eggs, and gluten. We have fed him all these things with no apparent reaction but he does have skin issues and apparently that's how it could manifest. I'm so unbelievably stressed out about this. I was already freaking out about food stuff just because it's hard to navigate transitioning from breastmilk to solids and breastmilk to cow's milk and those are some ridiculously restrictive allergies to have. Yeah we're pretty sure our 3MO is allergic to eggs. My partner tried cutting them out for a couple of weeks, and he got a lot less fussy. She reintroduced them a few days ago, and he got super fussy, and definitely had a more upset lower digestive tract. It's frustrating because hard-boiled eggs were great breastfeeding snacks, and scrambled egg would have been great baby food when we start him on solids. But as Wizzardstaff says, apparently kids grow out of most of those kinds of allergies by the time they're school age. Oh yeah re: newborn sleep, just adding a +1 to the "take it in shifts" pile, especially if you can switch rooms. Also, there's some study I read about saying that if you can get two 30 minute naps during the day, then that goes a long way towards staying functional when your main sleep is like four hours. That's also a good one to trade off with your partner.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2021 06:23
|
|
|
nwin posted:We were thinking of buying like a big bean bag chair for him but I’m pretty sure the day we do that is the day he gets sick and vomits all over it. P sure you can get those with waterproof covers?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 27, 2021 06:01
|
|
|
Pain of Mind posted:2 year old just tested positive This happened to some friends with their 3 year old, three weeks before the mom's due date. They put mom downstairs in the basement to fend for herself, the three year old upstairs, and dad outside on the deck (in December) except for sleeping and when the three year old needed him. They managed not to get it from him, and mom went late enough that she wasn't in quarantine while in labour and dad could attend the birth. But it was pretty touch and go.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 31, 2021 00:51
|
|
. That is old enough to quarantine, right?
|
Hadlock posted:Baby is at three months and in the last couple of days we can put her in a lounger and she enjoys watching us cook or clean, general activities, which is cool to have her partly interactive, or at least a keen observer Yeah they really just want interaction. Our kid is showing interest in toys, but inevitably he'll turn his focus to one of our faces. The way the "After the Check-up" book puts it is if you and your kid were locked in an empty room for a few months, they'd still have everything they needed for their mental development, just from your face and your voice. But yeah, the flipside is that they don't want to be left alone.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2021 09:04
|
|
|
Another reason to breastfeed if you can...
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2021 00:45
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:Day 2 in row of zero nap for the toddler, who when given a choice tries to take a third or fourth choice that is anything but the only two choices he was given in the first place. And fiercely resisting anything we need or want him to do. I don't know if this is helpful, but the new baby coming is a pretty big transition for your toddler, and he's probably as stressed about it as you are. That's may at least be a factor if he's acting out more than usual and having trouble sleeping,
|
|
#
¿
Feb 8, 2021 04:49
|
|
|
Our 3MO has been pretty good about not spitting up much, but it still happens rarely. Yesterday my partner picked him up a little too quickly, and next thing there's a splattering sound on the floor and milk vomit all over her shoulder. I look at our kid, and he's got a little smile on his face. I say "he looks really pleased with himself", and my partner and I both laugh. The kid picks this up and starts laughing along with us. It's really cute seeing his sense of humour develop.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 8, 2021 04:53
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:Thanks for the encouraging words. The hardest parts have been feeling hopeless and not understood, like around other parents in person I couldn’t voice how low and frustrated I feel. To have literally anyone acknowledge that they’ve been there too and if not that they get it, at least that it’s okay, goes a long way. I’m so afraid I’m gonna damage my kids the way my dad damaged me. I think that’s where a lot of the guilt and self-talk comes from—I don’t wanna parent the way my dad did and still tries to. Yeah depression is super real, and it's good that you're getting support. Also if there was ever a time to be trying out antidepressants, this sounds like it. I'd add that I think your wife is doing the right thing by keeping a log of your son's waking. I know from experience that depression makes it really easy for memory to get selective towards the side of catastrophising. Having a hard log can help mitigate that. And it's also great that you're aware of your parents' stuff and working to not repeat that. One thing I will say though: kids pick up on their parents' feelings. If you haven't talked to your kid about your depression, you probably should (in a super basic way, being as he's a toddler). There are a bunch of resources with advice on how to do this: https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-parent-is-depressed https://www.healthline.com/health/mdd/taking-to-your-kids https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/explaining_your_anxiety_or_depression_to_your_child Also, you are definitely not bringing the thread down! People should talk about their mental health.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 9, 2021 02:26
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Yeah Tylenol isn’t a great medication to give ona regular basis if your kid doesn’t need it, but giving some melatonin is so not a big deal. It’s a supplement, you can’t get your kid hooked on it, and if you get it in a natural-branded form, there’s nothing “mediciney” in there. Giving children’s Benadryl every once in a while is better than Tylenol if you have a choice. Not saying don’t give Tylenol, because little kids are always growing or having a tooth come in or something, and sometimes Tylenol works like a charm, but it’s not good to overdo it. I just wanted to note that melatonin is only considered a supplement in the US and Canada. In most parts of the world it's a scheduled drug and requires a prescription. Don't get me wrong. We use it a lot for ourselves for jetlag and adjusting sleep schedules. We haven't yet talked about when it would be ok to use on our kid, and I'd want to do a bit more research and/or chat to our doctor first. Edit: also definitely agree with your "don't feel bad about giving your kids the supplements or meds they and you need" part.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 9, 2021 17:06
|
|
|
Yeah we haven't been camping with our kid yet - he's only three months and the camping season is a ways away. But we have an "8-person" tent, which has worked great for camping and festivals, and our plan for camping with the kid is to bring a pack n play. Lol we just need to try and book one of the more accessible campgrounds. With COVID, it's basically a matter of hitting refresh over and over the second they open for bookings.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 11, 2021 04:45
|
|
|
FWIW, if it really comes to the worst and you have no heating in your home, you're probably better off bundling up under a ton of blankets in your house than sitting in the car with the engine running (all day?)
|
|
#
¿
Feb 14, 2021 04:49
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Dec 17, 2025 03:06 |
|
|
meanolmrcloud posted:A minor thing if anyone can recall: our 7 week old sure seems like she’s getting her saliva in. Is it common for them to have a lot of it, and having difficulty swallowing it all? Is it a thing that just turns on one day? Googling just gives me a ton of generic stuff, or things about spitup, which is unrelated. As others have said, the answer to your question is yes. Your kid is just the right age to start drooling everywhere. It's normal. Don't sweat.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 15, 2021 09:21
|
|