Parenting Megathread: Babies are like TARDIS, much bigger on the inside.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Parenting Megathread: Babies are like TARDIS, much bigger on the inside.

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Does anyone here have experience with "Montessori at home" style parenting? We have a baby on the way and we're doing the new parent thing where we look up everything you can imagine. My wife stumbled across a YouTube channel that introduced us to the idea and I really like everything I've watched and read so far.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2020 18:38

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 21:37

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

in_cahoots posted:

We try to practice a loose combination of Montessori and RIE. For us that means consciously allowing our son to explore and grow independent with as little intervention as possible. We buy Montessori toys (mainly because I�m not creative or handy enough to make my own) but it�s by no means a necessity. I would recommend reading Montessori from the Start and The Montessori Toddler if you�re interested.

One caveat is that a lot of people seem to conflate Montessori with �expensive wooden toys� and giant playrooms / custom furniture. We don�t have the money or space for a child-size kitchen setup, bathroom, etc. And many of the expensive toys aren�t �Montessori� at all. So just remember that it�s a philosophy, not an Instagram photo.

I appreciate the feedback and recommendations!

# ¿ Oct 16, 2020 20:23

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

wrong thread, sorry!

Ehud fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Mar 20, 2021

# ¿ Mar 20, 2021 15:12

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Koivunen posted:

This might not be the right forum and I probably shouldn�t post about it at all, but today I found out my husband has been having an affair. He said he�s been unhappy in our relationship since our daughter was born. Our son�s due date is in about five weeks. My husband has been seeing this other person for about two months and says he thinks he might love her. I am absolutely crushed, this is completely out of the blue. I don�t know what to do. I called in sick to work and my husband isn�t staying in our home tonight. What is a person supposed to even do? I can�t even think. I thought things were going fine. Yeah, being a parent is tough and changes a marriage, but I really thought we were doing fine, good actually. I don�t know what to do.

I�m sorry. That�s really awful. I would do whatever you can to call in reinforcements from friends and family who can help support you, your daughter and your new son.

It�s probably also a good idea to speak with a professional to help sort through all the stuff you�re feeling.

Also, I hope this isn�t too upsetting to hear at this point, but if you decide to part ways please get a good lawyer to protect yourself and kids. This happened to my mom and she got terrible advice that left her in a lurch for years. Find somebody who is on your side who will help get you the support you deserve.

# ¿ May 2, 2021 13:50

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

life is killing me posted:

Any tips on waking/keeping awake a 2.5wk old infant while they feed? This girl is waking up every 45 minutes to eat because she�s ravenous but she�s hungry because she can�t stop falling asleep on her mom�s boob and it�s very difficult to rouse her. We could just use a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep!

As an aside, our 3yr old walks around with his tongue out always like he�s Michael Jordan going for a layup and we have no idea why. We had family pics taken with baby and the ones he was in required a lot of creativity to get him to just smile instead of sticking out his tongue like he�s trying to catch flies. Zero idea where he got this.

Our girl is 3.5 weeks old. My wife pumps and we do bottle feeding, so I dunno if these will work as well for direct breastfeeding, but...

We strip her down to her diaper. If she�s too cozy she falls asleep halfway through.

We also do diaper changes right before feeding. She gets mad and worked up every time and that�s usually enough to keep her awake for a full feeding.

If she�s still falling asleep then we resort to placing something cool on her body.

# ¿ May 5, 2021 15:01

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

What sort of experience have you all had with gas remedies? Our girl is a month old now and exclusively fed breast milk via bottle.

She�s had really bad gas the past couple of days. I�ve tried adjusting her feeding position to be more upright, made sure she�s burped a couple of times during feedings, started doing bicycles with her legs...

We have a checkup with the pediatrician tomorrow where I�m going to ask for recommendations, but I figured I�d check with you all to see what has worked for you. Simethicone and gripe water are the two main recommendations online but the medical evidence that either works seems dubious.

# ¿ May 9, 2021 16:39

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

BadSamaritan posted:

Also don�t be a dick about presents, how is that so freaking hard for so many people.

Yeah, these posts are kind of blowing my mind. I would be miserable in a relationship where those kinds of expectations were placed on finding THE PERFECT GIFT multiple times per year.

Thanks to everyone who replied about baby gas. I got some simethicone yesterday and that seemed to work...? Maybe? All I know is she actually went to sleep last night. It was either the simethicone or she was just going to get over the gas naturally anyways. I'll have to use it a few more times before I know for sure.

# ¿ May 10, 2021 14:17

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

It's such a relief when a 1 month old baby is fed, has a clean diaper and is asleep for a while without grunting or fussing :negative:

# ¿ May 12, 2021 18:34

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

nwin posted:

So it�s literally the first night home and I need advice.

This kid is not sleeping tonight except when we hold him. Anytime he lays down, within 5 minutes he�s screaming. Today he was fine in the bassinet so I don�t get it.

We�re thinking cluster feeding and gas are the issues so right now I�m holding him for an hour and then my wife will trade off so she can feed if needed.

Working shifts works fine with just one kid, but I�m going to have to take care of our toddler all day tomorrow, which will suck without sleep.

We were both awake trying to help figure poo poo out but at 1 am when putting him down for the tenth time didn�t work, I said this is stupid having us both awake-one of us needs to rest, so I took the first shift since he just ate. 10 minutes in and he�s still asleep in my arms.

Any advice? I know we�re just in survival mode and once she can pump milk I can help out more with a bottle and we can do better shifts of we continue that.

Are you guys open to using supplemental formula early on? We had to use it with our daughter because she was a premie and needed to gain weight and keep her blood sugar up ASAP. We couldn�t really wait for my wife�s milk supply in our situation.

One of the benefits was that I was able to do shifts right away without my wife�s involvement. We never planned on doing things with formula but it actually worked out really well for that first week. As my wife�s milk came in we used less and less formula. After like 5 days she was pumping enough that we dropped the formula in favor of expressed milk.

Other than that...yeah you�re in survival mode :negative:

# ¿ May 13, 2021 07:04

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

life is killing me posted:

Anyone else�s infants seem to know when you�re about to eat? Without fail my wife will be sitting there fork in hand, and our daughter will wake up from a deep baby sleep to start fussing her hungry cry. It�s happened every single time.

What even is life

The warmer setting on my oven has become my best friend.

# ¿ May 16, 2021 02:42

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Had a couple of days where baby went 2.5 to 3 hours between feedings. Now she's back on every 90 minutes. :ughh:

"At least she's gaining a bunch of weight", I tell myself 5 hours into a stretch of diaper > eat > fuss > diaper > eat > fuss in the middle of the night.

# ¿ May 19, 2021 15:56

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

My kid slept for 3 hours :chloe:

Almost 2 months old. Keep growing, little buddy. Dad is tired.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 18:45

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

BonoMan posted:

My toddler turns 2 in a few days.

Still hasn't slept through the night.

Please don't shatter my illusion that I'm a few months away from a full night's sleep :gonk:

(I'm sorry, that has to be tough)

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 19:24

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Koivunen posted:

Well I�m home, first night as a solo parent actually went alright. My daughter absolutely adores her baby brother, it was hugs and kisses and wanting to hold him all day long. She got a bad diaper rash while I was in the hospital so her mood isn�t the greatest but she�s been so sweet and gentle with him.

My mom helped with bedtime the first night but it was kind of a chaotic disaster. My daughter was so hyped up and refusing bed, my mom tried to sit with the baby but he was crying and hungry, then my daughter was crying, but somehow eventually they got to sleep. He was in his crib for about an hour before wanting more food, then I couldn�t put him back for the rest of the night. My daughter came in to sleep with me around 1am, and thankfully his fussing and me getting up a bunch didn�t disturb her too much.

My mom helped out today and things actually went pretty smoothly. My son took a two hour long nap but I couldn�t sleep because I couldn�t shut off my brain, as per usual.

Tonight�s bedtime went better, only took an hour to do bath and bed with my daughter, and my son slept on my mom the whole time. When my mom left for the night I cried, the feeling of being overwhelmed hit me hard.

My husband decided to be an rear end in a top hat while I was still in the hospital less than 24 hours after birthing �his� son and sent me some pretty mean texts. Wheni told him he was hurting me he texted back �You�re not a victim.� I didn�t respond after that.

His parents are coming to meet the grandkids tomorrow and I�m not sure if he�s coming or not. He wanted to take our daughter for the weekend but I�m not entirely comfortable with that it because his infection isn�t totally gone (shingles). I told him if he wanted to come with his parents he could play with her outside and meet his son from a distance, and he never responded.

The emotions are hitting pretty hard, along with the lack of sleep and the huge hormone changes postpartum. My Prozac dose got increased, at least.

You�re a total badass and we�re all rooting for you.

Keep leaning on your support system. I hope your mom and others can keep helping you.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2021 03:39

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

The lactation consultants at our pediatrician have been awesome. We had a lot of frustration about the amount of time my wife spent pumping every day (which was recommended by the hospital). My wife was waking up every 2-3 hours to pump, 24 hours per day because the hospital consultant told her all this stuff about her supply drying up if she didn�t constantly pump or breastfeed.

It took a huge toll on her because she just wasn�t ever getting rest. I brought it up during the appointment with the pediatrician�s lactation consultant and she was super empathetic and told us, �If your schedule feels unsustainable and you don�t enjoy being a mom then we need to change it. Try pumping less and supplementing with formula. If that doesn�t work then switch to formula completely. The most important thing for your baby is that her mom enjoys being a mommy.�

THAT should be the norm.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2021 13:50

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I�m going on hour 4 of an inconsolable 10 week old and I feel like I�m losing my mind.

The nights are somehow getting worse and worse as she gets older.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 04:51

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Does anyone have experience dealing with cows milk protein allergies?

Our girl is almost 3 months old. She�s fussy more often than not, she has reflux, colic, her bowel movements are a huge production that she struggles through, her poop seems mucusy, she has boogers/snot, she struggles to get through most feedings�it just seems like a lot of the symptoms for CMPA. Some of that stuff we used to chalk up to normal newborn woes, but it feels like it�s getting worse rather than better lately.

I should add that she�s breastfed and I know CMPA is rare in those cases. My wife is cutting out dairy for now just in case and I�m gonna make an appointment on Monday.

Ehud fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Jun 26, 2021

# ¿ Jun 26, 2021 21:08

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Wow. Thanks for the replies. I feel like I�m on the right track. We�ll see what the pediatrician says after the weekend.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2021 22:22

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Ehud posted:

Does anyone have experience dealing with cows milk protein allergies?

Our girl is almost 3 months old. She�s fussy more often than not, she has reflux, colic, her bowel movements are a huge production that she struggles through, her poop seems mucusy, she has boogers/snot, she struggles to get through most feedings�it just seems like a lot of the symptoms for CMPA. Some of that stuff we used to chalk up to normal newborn woes, but it feels like it�s getting worse rather than better lately.

I should add that she�s breastfed and I know CMPA is rare in those cases. My wife is cutting out dairy for now just in case and I�m gonna make an appointment on Monday.

Just a quick update on this...we have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow, but within 24 hours of cutting out dairy it's like we have a totally different baby.

She's happy, the reflux isn't as bad, no gas, colic is way better, etc. She has even started smiling and talking a bunch. It's been about 3 days, so I guess it could be a fluke? But I really hope not. Hopefully we'll confirm it tomorrow at the doc.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2021 18:30

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

We went with the Graco 4Ever carseat. I thought about a travel system but I didn�t foresee many opportunities to use it because of covid.

The only time it would have been nice were pediatrician visits, but that�s been a combined couple of hours in the first 4 months of her life.

Overall I�m happy we went with the 4Ever.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2021 06:54

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Slaan posted:

Watching a 4 week old suck her thumb while sleeping is way cuter than I ever thought it could be before my nerdy rear end became a parent

Almost makes up for three hours of nonstop crying at 2am last night

Little things like that kept me going early on. It just keeps getting better, too.

I don't think I will ever get sick of the big, goofy, gummy grin my daughter gives me when I excitedly say, "hiiiiiiiiii!" to her

# ¿ Aug 6, 2021 14:42

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Enshoku posted:

How long did it take you folks to stop worrying that every little thing you do could potentially break your newborn? I swear I don't go a day without worrying that I'm going to rock her into shaken baby syndrome, or fail to notice a blister that leads to encephalitis.

Like 5 days for me.

I was too tired to worry.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 13:05

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

boquiabierta posted:

I know this has been gone over in this thread so forgive me, but is there a consensus on best app to use for newborns/babies that can be synced between phones? We used one called "Baby Tracker" for our first and I hate to switch because I'd like all the data for both kids in one place but it didn't allow syncing and that was super annoying especially in the beginning.

TIA

We used Baby Tracker and it synced between our two phones. Super helpful to keep track of stuff during our night time shifts, and have all the data for when our doctor asked questions.

(but man I sure don�t miss the �log everything� phase of parenting)

# ¿ Nov 7, 2022 00:27

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Alarbus posted:

This is the one we used:

It allows for syncing and toggling features.

Yep, this is the same app we used.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 23:33

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

My 2 year old just had a meltdown because I said �choo choo� while she was talking about trains.

# ¿ May 6, 2023 14:41

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

A Bad King posted:

Is this a, "don't interrupt me!!!," meltdown or a "you're doing it WRONG," meltdown?

She was done talking about the train being yellow and small and so I said, �Trains go choo choo!�

and she looked at me really sad, tears welling in her eyes and said, �It�s okay�� to try and keep herself composed and then just totally lost it.

I have no idea what I did wrong :shrug:

# ¿ May 6, 2023 14:57

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I should probably add that her mom is gone for 5 straight days and I have her solo. We�re on day 3 and mom being away and being with dad instead is very different for her, so I think she�s just dealing with a lot.

# ¿ May 6, 2023 14:59

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Day 5 solo with my 2 year old. 3 good days, 2 bad days, 1 tired dad. My wife comes back this evening from her trip and then it�s back to work for me.

Shoutout to all the solo parents. Doing everything even for just 5 days is a lot.

# ¿ May 8, 2023 16:16

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

My favorite thing right now is trying to have any conversation with my wife while our 2 year old is in the room.

Wife: Quick question for you.

2 year old: I'M EATING BIG BITES.

Me: I see your big bites. Okay let's be quiet for one second so mommy can talk.

Wife: I was thinking about -

2 year old: BIG BITES. I'M EATING BIG BIIIIIIIIITES.

Me: I see that. Okay, I'm going to talk to mommy now (lol yeah right)

Wife: What do you want to do about -

2 year old: I HAVE 5 BIG BITES LEFT. I HAVE 5 BIG BITES. I'M IN MY HIGHCHAIR.

# ¿ May 11, 2023 16:06

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Dreylad posted:

i know every kid is different, but so far 12-24 months has been an amazing age. my kid is just having a blast being a kid, smiling, dancing, being chatty, playing, and generally being adorable

she's a victim of her own success because even her worst tantrums just seem adorable. tiny little stomping feet.

i know there's trouble on the horizon but really now I'm just enjoying all her new encounters with the world

That was a great phase for us too. I loved 12-24 months.

Now my kid is 27 months and she has decided my wife and I aren't allowed to talk to each other.

Me: Quick question for you.

Kid: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wife: What's up?

Kid: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: I know it's hard to wait your turn, but I'm talking to mommy. Can you play with [toy] while I talk to mommy?

Kid: ......yeah

Me: I was wonderi-

Kid: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

# ¿ Jul 13, 2023 12:31

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Day one of potty learning.

I had no idea my kid pissed this often.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2023 15:00

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 21:37

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I worry that our parenting style may be a little too permissive. Our soon to be 3 year old is overall a good kid, but she's pushing boundaries lately, and sometimes we aren't sure how to react. We do a lot of gentle parenting like: "I understand why you feel this way, but [insert explanation of why we need her to do X, Y, or Z].", but sometimes I worry that we're letting her act like a butthole and she's learning she can get away with it. Every day she seems a little more emboldened to do whatever she wants.

I'm looking for some advice on how to effectively set and enforce boundaries, while remaining warm and supportive. Has anyone read the book Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy? It seems like it might fit this criteria. I'm down for any other suggestions you all might have as well.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2024 19:56

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