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Alright, I've been lurking this thread long enough, it's time to face reality: I'm going to be a dad soon. We're expecting a girl in May and I can't recall a time in my life where I've been happier, but of course, I'm terrified. It's been awesome... and of course, terrifying reading this thread. I look forward to turning to goons, as I have through most of my adulthood, for advice on the most important parts of my life. Until then, though, I do have a question. I saw some cursory book recommendations floating around in the first few pages but that was nearly six years ago. Is there any sort of consensus here on good books for first-time parents? I'm guessing some of the older books are good, but if anything new/groundbreaking has caught anyone's eye, I'd like to hear about it. We do have a baby signing book because I'm super interested in getting in on that. So, I'm mostly interested in a "things I wish I'd known" type of book. I know that nothing can really prepare me for this, but if for no other reason than build up my courage a little, I'd like to read some stuff. Chili fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Feb 27, 2018 |
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Feb 27, 2018 07:10
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Thanks for the advice and recommendations so far. I'm not silly. I know that pretty much whatever I do/read before all of this gets going will pretty much take a backseat really loving quickly once she arrives. This will most likely benefit me most right now, while I'm feeling anxious about what's to come. The New Father book does indeed look up my alley, so I'm grabbing it and will have it handy just in case. In the meantime, my wife is pregnant as hell and is dealing with so many awful symptoms. She's tiny, and our baby decided that being in the 98th percentile for size would be a swell idea. So between supporting her and just doing all that I can to prepare, I've got my hands plenty full. Putting together a nursery is loving fun as hell though, so at least I'm enjoying that.
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Feb 27, 2018 19:07
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JustAurora posted:Now practice using baby carriers with Butterscotch as the practice baby Haha I was worried my butterscotch history would follow me here. Keeping him from smothering her is probably one of the things I'm most anxious about. Gonna have to be super vigilant. It'll be worth it though, cos it'll be cute when she's wrestling around with him when she's a toddler. But yes, he would love that.
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Feb 27, 2018 21:01
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JustAurora posted:Usually animals avoid infants until they are able to drop delicious people food on the floor. I had these awful dreams of my dog turning my baby's face into hamburger meat, but in reality he kept a safe distance until she started feeding him her snacks. Problem with this is that butterscotch superglues himself to heat sources. Could totally see him thinking that a baby is his new bed. Also I've heard that milky, baby mouths can attract cattention.
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Feb 27, 2018 22:07
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Hi_Bears posted:These are more applicable to toddlers but I really enjoyed How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, and No Bad Kids. They're less about burping/sleeping/feeding and more about getting into a baby's mindset and how to treat them like real people. Some of it is a little hokey but I've found that Acknowledging Feelings is strangely powerful with my 2 year old. Axiem posted:In general, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (maybe reverse that?) is a good book with lots of good advice. Yeah, I'm sure books like that are helpful. Fortunately, I'm a shrink, and the majority of my education was focused on stuff like that. Not saying that I think I'M ALL READY TO GO, or that I'm above books like that, but, my main concern is more on the technical, nuts and bolts of things that might happen. Like learning about the 4 month sleep regression. I'm so glad that I now know that's even a thing that can happen with some regularity. Like, hey, what if she takes a massive purple poo poo? No worries, that just means ..... That kind of stuff. And sure, the internet is definitely ripe for quick checks but prepping ahead of time can bring in some reduction of stress. But of course, I know that: Thwomp posted:The other main thing to what people are saying is also to just try and be adaptable. Holds true, and that I shouldn't expect every single thing that I read about to happen exactly when it should and all that. So yeah, maybe I don't need a book. v  v
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Feb 28, 2018 04:09
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devmd01 posted:Flying tomorrow with two 10 month olds and their 3yo sister, car seats, etc. Go to a drug store and get some cheap ear plugs and a bag of candy. Pass some out to your neighbors on the plane. Great way to get those folks on your side.
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Mar 3, 2018 21:01
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I'd hope that if you're gonna make judgement posts, you'd at least offer some advice. It's clear the poster is looking for help and it's reasonable to assume that they're not a child beating monster. Spanking is a thing that happens; not everyone chooses it, and those who do don't often go their first. As for advice, I'd suggest building in some play time where they're encouraged to do the fun stuff they seem to like doing right before a cool down period. Also, have you tried separating them? Maybe pull one twin out while the other goes to sleep and then bring the other back in? It may not take long for one to settle down and get sleepy without the other. Not something you can do long term, obviously, but it may help then establish routines. It's not something I'd use as a consequence or a reaction. Instead, maybe just tell them that this is the new bedtime routine, and make sure to switch up who goes in first so they each learn how to self soother. Good luck!
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Mar 31, 2018 13:27
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Lacey posted:Even without getting into the spanking debate Sure. There's a difference between "that might not work here" and what was said. Spanking can definitely be an activating experience and is not likely to help a kiddo settle for bed.
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Mar 31, 2018 15:46
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can we all just agree that spanking or yelling is 100% not a good idea in this instance? You are a cleric trying to slay the Two-Headed Night Beast and it is only vulnerable to sleeping spells. Casting Eldritch Scream or Assfire actually raises its HP.
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Alright, been lurking a bunch since my little one was born (3 months this Friday). Got a tricky question: Baby was born real big, and real strong at just about 9 pounds. Since then, she's been putting on weight quickly and is still super robust. She starting rolling over from back to front at about 9 weeks, and then from front to back a week later. So now, when we go to check on her in her crib, she can be anywhere, on either side. Was kind of a bummer since she loved her swaddle, and obviously once she decided to hurry up and develop, that had to go. Here's the problem though: Often, when we go to check on her, one of her limbs (most worryingly, one of her arms) will be kinda poking out, between the crib rails. It's troubling because she flails around so much in her sleep that I'm concerned that she'll end up hurting herself. She already donks her head into the crib rails so much, and now, on top of the anxiety that she's sloughing off IQ points every night (I know that's not really happening, but it's still upsetting hearing the thunks on the monitor) I'm worried she's gonna get tangled up with her crib in her sleep and dislocate something. She's strong and all, but she's still so stinking tiny. I called up our doctor, but only got her nurse assistant, whose advise consisted of "she should really be sleeping on her back, or she could suffocate". Thanks. Is this unnecessary worrying? I googled around and I didn't see much mention of this issue.
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Aug 9, 2018 07:04
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skeetied posted:They make mesh crib bumpers for exactly this reason. There are also little sleeves you can get that go on each little rail. Yeah, I was warned off of those because of suffocation risks. Not sure how reliable this is, but https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thebump.com/a/crib-bumper-safety/amp
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Aug 9, 2018 08:01
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Seriously, it's enough already. Different people are comfortable and uncomfortable with different things. This is really not a big deal. As for content, just joined the 4 month sleep regression club... A whole month early! Saying goodbye to a wakeful state of mind, but super glad that the little sucker is growing so quickly. Baby is kind of outeating mom's supply though, so it looks like we'll be needing to supplement. Doing my best to be supportive of my wife through this, and of course, we'll supplement if we need to, but we'd like to do our best to stick to the good stuff as much as possible. Part of the problem is that baby seems to have an unyielding appetite. She's only three months but she's perfectly capable of putting away nine ounces at a time which, when we told her pediatrician about, got a huge laugh. I've tried a bunch of different things to see if we can adjust how much she takes ib: changing schedules, more feeds with less, etc. But, it just seems like most of the time when she finishes whatever I give her, she screams for more. She keeps it all down, so it's not like it's going to waste. So I guess... Just keep doing what we're doing, and supplement if need be? Our current operating theory on how much she's putting away is that we're vegan and don't take in a whole lot of fat, so the milk she's producing might be nutritionally dense, but not calorically. No idea if there's any truth that.
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Aug 15, 2018 14:40
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femcastra posted:Yeah it could well be. I cut out all dairy because of a suspected cow milk protein allergy with my baby. Once that was cleared as a possibility and I was back on dairy, she gained weight faster and my milk was creamier. Yeah. I've been baking batches and batches of lactation cookies. Doing what I can. It's definitely encouraging to hear of success stories with formula. As the dad it's a tough position. I've heard all of the same stuff she has about the benefits of breastfeeding but I'm certainly not in any position to insist as they aren't my boobs. That being said, I still want the best for the baby. So yeah, we're doing what we can and the overall attitude about formula is exactly as has been stated here. It's just an alternative, nothing more, nothing less. Thanks all for your responses.
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Aug 15, 2018 22:57
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skeetied posted:If you want to PM me, I’m a LC and can help troubleshoot. While supply issues aren’t uncommon, a lot of people mistake normal baby behavior for not getting enough milk (and some supply issues are caused by trying to change normal baby behavior inadvertently). That's awesome. My wife is a goon (katdicks) and I'll definitely let her know. Thank you so much!
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Aug 16, 2018 06:23
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Struensee posted:Ugh, four day old infant and my girlfriend has been up all night with him crying. Everythings been checked and re-checked and I finally convinced her to try a pacifier so she could get some sleep. He's soundly asleep next to me as I'm writing this. My girlfriend feels so bad, but the milks starting to come in anyway, so I can't really see why we shouldn't let him use it to get a little respite between feedings. Yup. Use what works. Especially if baby is still able to latch to boob after.
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Aug 25, 2018 06:16
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Heners_UK posted:Actually that reminds me, Christmas wishlists for kids (especially almost one year olds), good idea that cuts down on junk/duplication or presumptuous? I made one for our kiddo. By the time the holidays roll around she'll only be 7 months or so. Nobody knows what she already has and it's helpful. I just sent it over to my mom and she forwarded it to the family. It's definitely helpful. Context matters, though, like just slapping a link on a birthday part invitation might be a little presumptuous? I don't know. Personally, as a party-goes, I'd appreciate it. Maybe a "gifts aren't necessary, but if you'd like to get one, we have a running list of things we think our kid would like here" type of deal.
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Oct 20, 2018 20:57
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With regards to formula quality, we supplement with the target brand soy stuff. She loves it and doesn't seem to care if she's getting boob or bottle. She's been putting on weight at the same pace since we've started supplementing.
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Nov 10, 2018 15:02
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virinvictus posted:Question: my one year old son had his check up at the doc's today, and doc noted: How did he phrase it, exactly? I hope he didn't just say that this is all your fault and then give you nothing to go or try to improve. It's hard to determine much more without having more to parse from the doctor. Kids certainly develop at different rates, but if he isn't meeting important benchmarks it can be for a wide variety of reasons, some of which may be in your control, some not. Did the doctor seem concerned or was it more, eh your kid is probably fine and if anything this is more about his nurture components as opposed to his nature? I'd be loathe to assume that either of you are horrible parents who are damaging your child. You care, kids develop.
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Dec 5, 2018 04:36
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Ok. Potentially volatile question. First, if I'm at all bumrushed with "stop, you're being an idiot and please listen to doctors"... That's what we'll do! Disclaimer aside: anyone put blankets and/or stuffed animals in the crib before 1? Our baby just turned 7 months and we were curious how she might do with a light and small blanket. She loved it. Fell asleep super quick and snuggled underneath it. Then, we put her favorite monkey in there with her... Loved that even more and when she woke up she sat up and played with the monkey for like twenty minutes before she started crying for us. Despite her age, physically, she's way far ahead of things. She's been crawling for two months, cruises easily, can climb the stairs, all that good stuff. Basically, I find it annoying that, instead of physical benchmarks, there only seems to be the general guideline of '1 year' before any of this good stuff is introduced. Are we being foolish and taking a risk here? Kiddo is so strong and doesn't seem like she's likely to get tangled up in anything.
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Dec 14, 2018 08:31
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Awesome. I should have given you all more credit. I was definitely a little bit nervous that I was going to be yelled at and called a horrible father. But clearly, that's just my own anxiety and projections. Baby is happy, baby is safe, everything's going to be a okay. Thanks goons.
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Dec 14, 2018 14:36
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nwin posted:Oh man the last two days have been fun. We have him on Enfamil Gentlease and he’s seemed fine for the last three weeks since we switched to it from breast milk+formula, but the last two days he’s spitting up more than he used to, Doesn’t like the rock and play when he used to love it, and seems backed up. He still has anywhere from 1-2 bowel movements a day, but he’s fussy as all get out until it happens. We’re trying bicycle kicks and massaging his tummy, and gas drops to help in case that’s an issue, but nothing is working. We’re thinking of trying a different formula tomorrow. Have you tried the windi? It's been pretty effective for us.
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Dec 17, 2018 07:04
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laxbro posted:Ugh any tips about transitioning to cow milk?My daughter turns 12 months this week so I thought I’d try giving her some cows milk this past weekend. She’s had super soft stools and a bit of diarrhea since then - had a blowout in the middle of the night last night which is the first time she’s ever pooped in her overnight diaper. She also seems to have an upset stomach because she hasn’t been eating much either. Is this a normal part of transitioning to cows milk or is this a potential milk allergy? Her 12 mo physical is next week but I’d figure if anyone here had any anecdotal stories or advice until then. If your biggest priority is getting off of formula, you could try other kinds of milk. We've been giving our 9 month old oat milk and she's been loving it and it hasn't upset her stomach at all.
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Apr 2, 2019 16:42
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Tamarillo posted:Anyone have One Weird Trick to boost milk supply when almost exclusively pumping? My wife tried this to decent effect: https://exclusivepumping.com/power-pumping/
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Apr 22, 2019 08:46
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Tamarillo posted:Anyone have One Weird Trick to boost milk supply when almost exclusively pumping? Oh ,also, I baked her a steady supply of these. We're vegan so you probably don't have to go this way, but the recipe was effective: https://detoxinista.com/vegan-lactation-cookies-gluten-free/
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Apr 22, 2019 22:49
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Crossposting from the deals thread. Picked up one of the doggy backpacks for my little goob. Seems like a solid deal. https://amzn.to/2LDck9J
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Jul 25, 2019 01:09
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Our 15 month old is likely ready for some very basic potty introduction. While we don't plan on getting the actual practice down I do want to procure a potty for her now so she can get used to seeing it and such. Done a bit of digging on the subject but I'm not seeing any standout picks. Have any of you had a particularly good experience with one?
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Jul 27, 2019 06:04
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1up posted:My daughter was a little bit older and her first potty was the summer infant one that looked like a real toilet. We kept it in the bathroom and when she would follow me in there, she'd copy me and sit on her toilet. Yeah that's the one we were thinking of and that's pretty much how we're expecting things to go. As for that book recommendation, thank you! It does seem a touch on the long side and we're probably more in the market for like a quick set of guidelines or something. So far, our baby has been really easy with benchmark type stuff.
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Jul 27, 2019 13:30
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Hi_Bears posted:I’ve started giving my 9 month old prune juice or prune purée nearly everyday to stay ahead of the constipation. Prune juice is as magical as it is gross. We only had one bout of bad constipation so far (15 months old now) and prune juice took care of it in... explosive fashion in about 30 minutes.
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Aug 2, 2019 14:35
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marchantia posted:
Seconding their diapers. Top quality and cheapest around when Target isn't running a special.
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Aug 30, 2019 17:44
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I barely even know what to make of this evil poo poo. My daughter is just 15 months old and we were at the local library doing a baby class thing. There was an 18-month-old boy. As in, under two god drat years old, and he was running around grabbing all of the girls he could and kissing them. He also tackled girls, only girls, and sat on them... What makes it even more baffling is that his mother was chasing after him, was clearly on top of it, and mortified to the point that she just ultimately left with him. Even MORE baffling... his older brother (5 years old) was with him and was also upset by it and trying to stop him. So, it didn't really seem as though he had awful influences... Was this kid just watching Pepe LePew cartoons or something? How in the gently caress can this horrible male behavior be happening that young? It was the first time I had to address the concern of dealing with this poo poo as a primary caregiver father of a daughter and... yup, I wanted to boot the kid to Mars. Ugh. It was awful and it brought out the very worst of me. Of course, I didn't do anything, but man, those are not feelings that I'm comfortable having at all.
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Sep 11, 2019 21:01
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diapermeat posted:Maybe scale the emotions down from a 9 to a 3 on this one. That kid is 18 months old. I definitely showed it as a 3, but it bubbled up pretty nastily inside me. I do recognize that I took it a little hard but the kid was definitely only going after the girls and it wasn't exactly playful. It was the first time I saw anyone go after my daughter in that kind of way. Again, the mom was embarrassed herself and eventually realized how problematic it was and took him out. I know what curiosity and play stuff looks like. This looked different. It also really was odd that he was just going after girls. I also know that getting this mad at an 18 month old is a little silly. Again, didn't actually do anything about it, his mom had it under control as best she could, I just wanted to vent a bit.
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Sep 12, 2019 02:26
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All very possible. I'll leave it be.
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Sep 12, 2019 12:53
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Quick tip that I just learned. I have no idea how common this is, but at a lot of library branches in our county, you can check out toys! Like they have a huge closet of them, and you can flip through an index of them and pick them out. It's awesome cos it's allowed us to try things out/let our kiddo play with things until she's not interested, instead of just endlessly accruing more plastic. Ymmv, obviously, but it's definitely worth looking into. And of course get some toy sanitizer.
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Sep 17, 2019 14:51
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I need recommendations for like... not grating music that has kids singing in it? Good god, when I type that it seems impossible. We both detest Little Baby Bums and things like that. My 18-month-old has gotten super into singing along to songs, especially when kids are singing. While it's adorable and I want to encourage her to keep it going, I can really only take so much It's The Hard Knock Life. Sound of Music and The Matilda soundtracks weren't as bad, but it's getting old. Any other suggestions here would be helpful. Both her mom and I have theater in our background so that's been the obvious place to look but we frankly don't usually care all that much for show tunes.
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Nov 26, 2019 08:27
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Tagichatn posted:It doesn't have kids singing but I'm real partial to Raffi and Caspar Babypants, especially the baby Beatles covers. Personally, I get real tired of any music with kids singing (unless it's my kid, in which case it's adorable and totally not grating at all!) My kid loves Raffi so hopefully yours will too although I also grew up on Raffi so I'm biased. Those have both been good by us, especially Caspar because I'm a huge POTUSA fan. But yeah, there's just no escaping The Hard Knock Life in our house right now. She just runs around shouting NALIFE!!!!
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Nov 28, 2019 03:25
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BonoMan posted:Our son has poo poo like 6 times over the past two days. He's almost 6 months. Def got some sort of upset stomach or something. He's had more blowouts in 2 days than our daughter had ever. If that's an exceptional amount of poo poo for you... Christ, we've had single days like that.
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Dec 10, 2019 06:43
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Also, related to the walking thing... It seems like your kiddo just isn't interested, and that's totally cool. It was this very thread that put development in a way that made so much sense to me, kids pick the things they want to get good at, you sorta have to accept that they'll just do what they do. We were in a very similar place with our daughter who wasn't walking at around 14 months. She just didn't seem to give a poo poo about it. We knew she could if she tried, but she didn't want to try. She was early on nearly everything else, so we found it super frustrating. We benefited greatly from just cooling our jets and letting her do her own thing. And man... the longer it takes the more totally amazing it is once it happens. For now though just enjoy the fact that your kid can't get into nearly as much trouble as they will when they do start walking independently. You're doing great!
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Jan 21, 2020 00:10
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PerniciousKnid posted:Can't you just bottom-line it for me? I have kids, I don't have time to read! https://youtu.be/crdQy8zliZw
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Jan 30, 2020 15:32
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We started off the same way with no TV being what we were shooting for but man... Like yeah the breaks are nice but my kiddo is learning a poo poo ton from Sesame Street. Already has the bulk of the alphabet down and is counting ten and she's only 21 months. I credit Elmo and I am not ashamed of it. Learn little bean, learn.
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Feb 20, 2020 23:51
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Need a product suggestion. Our 21-month-old is starting to really kick rear end with toilet training. We want to be able to use toilets outside of the house but obviously her little rump ain't quite ready for the real deal. I looked around for toilet covers and it seems like most of what's being recommended are disposable/flushable covers but I can't quite wrap my head around how those could hold her up without tearing, and we don't really want to be all that wasteful. I was hoping for something collapsable/reusable/washable to stash in her diaper bag. Any suggestions for something like this? I've been looking around but can't quite find the right thing. edit; and of course as soon as I post, I find something that might fit the bill. But maybe it's a bit big. She's a very big 21-month-old, so it may work, but I'm not sure. Anyone use this? https://smile.amazon.com/Portable-Potty-Seat-Toddler-Travel/dp/B07W3LJRQH?sa-no-redirect=1 Chili fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Mar 7, 2020 |
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Mar 7, 2020 01:10
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FunOne posted:Don't want to be rude, but if you don't want to be wasteful maybe just wipe the toilet and the kid down instead? We'd do that if we could, but she's too small. The whole point of the cover, in this case, is to shrink down the diameter of the bowl so she'll fit.
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Mar 7, 2020 02:21
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