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Disco Salmon
Jun 19, 2004


Weatherman posted:

Maru was a horny little budgie who loved to hump things. Our vet suggested two changes: make sure he gets 12 full hours of quiet time per night (i.e., in a dark and quiet room where we're not), and remove all toys from his cage.

Conventional wisdom says birds need toys in their cage so queried this and she said no, no toys as they get the bird hyped up and besides you let him out all day anyway so he doesn't need them for entertainment.

So I took out all his toys except one bell and got him his 11 (couldn't do 12 due to schedules) hours of quiet time. Didn't think anything would come of it but sure enough, about a month later, he was the same old Maru except he had completely calmed down and stopped humping.

Sigh.

Well, he gets about 12-14 hours covered at bedtime every day already, cos the vet recommended close to 14 as much as possible. He doesn't have that many toys in his cage cos she recommended we take most of them out since he is in the front room already. He (they) has (have) a play gym that I hang their veggie skewers on that he sits on to gaze out the window and scream at any and all he considers to be trespassing. Today got to be a freakin' HUGE raccoon so that was fun....he was not impressed and rolled across the street. They also have the TV on in the front room with animal shows/cartoons/musicals/Disney movies etc for them to have on. On the main coffee table, I have a towel set up with their pellets/water/breakfast/snacks, etc on it, with a foraging bowl with foot toys/shredders etc.

Its been non-stop shag attempts with him...I mean I understand and all that but, really? I thought hormones would have been done and somewhat over with by now.

Then again, this is his first true hormone season...he just turned 2 so I guess that is part of it as well. It's just a constant state of GIVE UP ALREADY DUDE with him lol He gets removed from me at the first sign of any masturbation on me, but it's almost constant. Cricket was never that bad, and I'm just kinda stumped. My husband says its probably a guy thing, cos when he was a teen he was constantly horndogging as well so maybe he has a point.

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Youth Decay
Aug 17, 2015

a little too tithonic
yeah I really do think


The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Heavy Petting > Bird Crazies:

mikerock
Oct 29, 2005




Hello Bird Thread . I just want to say I love your birds , they are all perfect .

I miss my birds but am not in a position to get another friend for a while. The rescue Spencer went to (Greyhaven) posted a pic of him on their FB feed the other day and he is looking in good health. I'm of two minds that he's still there, one is that I'm sad he hasn't found a home yet, the other is that I am glad that Geryhaven is being careful and not just adopting him out. I hope one day he gets to live in a one bird home where he can be free hopping on the floor and furniture.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

mikerock posted:

Hello Bird Thread . I just want to say I love your birds , they are all perfect .

I miss my birds but am not in a position to get another friend for a while. The rescue Spencer went to (Greyhaven) posted a pic of him on their FB feed the other day and he is looking in good health. I'm of two minds that he's still there, one is that I'm sad he hasn't found a home yet, the other is that I am glad that Geryhaven is being careful and not just adopting him out. I hope one day he gets to live in a one bird home where he can be free hopping on the floor and furniture.

He'll get there. Like you said, them taking time is a good sign.

On the Portland Facebook Parrot Group, I found a picture of the smuggest cockatoo.



I tried to get a picture of Serra being just as smug...but she just looks incredibly round.



Most nights, I end up playing one to two hours of a video game as my wind down, then watch about a hour of TV with my father. Today, when I came out for TV, Serra looked like she had absolutely gorged herself on something. Her crop was full and she looked thrilled with herself.

I asked my father, "Did Serra just get some treats?"

He said, in a defensive tone, "No! She got a treat at least one hour ago."

Birb really wants to be a Borb and keeps getting help.

Disco Salmon
Jun 19, 2004


Captain Log posted:



I tried to get a picture of Serra being just as smug...but she just looks incredibly round.



Most nights, I end up playing one to two hours of a video game as my wind down, then watch about a hour of TV with my father. Today, when I came out for TV, Serra looked like she had absolutely gorged herself on something. Her crop was full and she looked thrilled with herself.

I asked my father, "Did Serra just get some treats?"

He said, in a defensive tone, "No! She got a treat at least one hour ago."

Birb really wants to be a Borb and keeps getting help.

Life finds a way....

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Let me try to get a picture of Serra being skinny.

RAGE!!!



Despite how she looks right here, she still refuses to do anything worse than a hiss and light pinch.

Chaosfeather
Nov 4, 2008



Captain Log posted:

Let me try to get a picture of Serra being skinny.

RAGE!!!



Despite how she looks right here, she still refuses to do anything worse than a hiss and light pinch.

I REFUUUUUSE to be skinny! Even if it's only on camera!

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtevTo96Wjc

NO STAND

ONLY SLEEP

Oldsrocket_27
Apr 28, 2009


This is what Nicky insists I do every morning, I think mostly because she wants to get my coffee. She never does, but she still insists that she gets her morning kisses.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAlyv9NFBc6/

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

Someone pulled the fire alarm.

I was stupid. I did not grab a blanket.

The latch on the cage broke open and pesto made a dash for it. Couldn't see where he went because of the lights from all the firetrucks.

He's gone.

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

Banane passed away around this time last year.

I couldn't even keep Pesto around for a year.

gently caress. I want to hurt myself. edit- calmed down, no I didn't hurt myself.

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 04:43 on May 25, 2020

Potato Salad
Oct 23, 2014

Nobody Cares




Tortured By Flan

God loving drat it.

No no no no

dude gently caress I'm so sorry

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

gently caress whoever caused the false alarm.

Anyway, I've calmed myself down to the best of my ability. I can't sleep, obviously... But I've done what I can for now by notifying my area's reddit page and various other lost pet groups.

First thing tomorrow I'll go out looking for him... Or would it better to place a spare cage on the patio with seed, millet and water and have Mayo's cage nearby (but inside... that cage is NEVER going outside again) and hopefully he'll hear her frantic flock calls?

gently caress.

Chaosfeather
Nov 4, 2008



Plant MONSTER. posted:

gently caress whoever caused the false alarm.

Anyway, I've calmed myself down to the best of my ability. I can't sleep, obviously... But I've done what I can for now by notifying my area's reddit page and various other lost pet groups.

First thing tomorrow I'll go out looking for him... Or would it better to place a spare cage on the patio with seed, millet and water and have Mayo's cage nearby (but inside... that cage is NEVER going outside again) and hopefully he'll hear her frantic flock calls?

gently caress.

Oh god, I am so sorry.

Is there any way you can do both? Is there someone willing to cooperate with you to see if we are lucky enough that he comes back onto your patio?

Look high in the trees or buildings. I've always heard that pet birds have a hard time getting down from trees and just keep going higher.

If you need someone to talk to please PM me your number and I will give you a call. I wish I saw this sooner but I was out tonight.

No matter what happens, it's not your fault. Please remember this, please don't blame yourself.

Edit: If you can, notify someone who is in charge of the complex as well? I have noticed animals that don't get out find trouble with cookie cutter houses and apartments and sometimes return to the wrong one mistaking it for their home.

I have no idea where you are. If you're anywhere near SoCal let me know and I will come by after work tomorrow. I know I'm trained to catch other types of birds but I have two nets, a bucket of millet and two carriers and would be more than happy to try to help.

Chaosfeather fucked around with this message at 06:26 on May 25, 2020

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Plant, I am so incredibly sorry.

Don't lose hope, though. Lost birds can definitely end up reunited.

I know you have a support structure, but if you need any additional support just PM me.

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

Caw





Oh god plant, I am so sorry Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, bar the fire alarm and it's just the worst feeling. But remember; budgies are tough and hopefully the weather where you are is fairly warm, so there's still hope you'll be reunited

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow



Pillbug

Pookah posted:

Oh god plant, I am so sorry Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, bar the fire alarm and it's just the worst feeling. But remember; budgies are tough and hopefully the weather where you are is fairly warm, so there's still hope you'll be reunited

if they can survive the australian outback, they can survive anywhere

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

I'm in Ottawa, Ontario. Also, thank you everyone.

The weather is nice now, he'll be safe in that regard, at least. I set up a cage for him outside. I have budgie noises playing on a phone to get Mayo to sing, hoping he'll hear her.

She's kind of despondent without Pesto around, I keep crying when I interact with her, I feel like I've broken her heart.

It's hard not to want to blame myself. I know blaming is pointless. Punishing myself is pointless.

Whenever I'm playing with my birds I always wonder if it'll be the last time I get to do so.

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 12:07 on May 25, 2020

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

PESTO IS BACK HOME PESTO IS BACK HOME I loving CAUGHT HIM I DID IT HOLY poo poo


I heard budgie sounds and he was up in this tree. He took off.


then he went to this tree. I went back home to grab the small cage with Mayo.

He vanished again. So I walked around the blocks with Mayo's cage, playing budgie noises. I eventually heard a faint call and followed it down a long pathway


spot him sitting on a power lines, but they're not super high up... I place the cage on a guy's truck. Guy gets out of his house and gets kinda of sketched/mad. Anyway. He saw Mayo and millet and came down. He wouldn't step up at first but when we went to chow down on millet I quickly scooped him up.


Mayo wags her butt out of delight.

I was out for about four hours this morning.

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 15:26 on May 25, 2020

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

loving birds.

RoboRodent
Sep 19, 2012

Please get me out of this snake.




Oh my god this was a trip to read through. A HAPPY ENDING. I'm so glad.

Whitlam
Aug 2, 2014

Some goons overreact. Go figure.


Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

*AUTISM INSTENSIFIES*



YES! Well done!

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA


From 'oh god oh no' to 'oh yes yes yes!!!'

I am so happy for you Plant!!!!

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

Caw





AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am literally happy-crying for you all right now - I was trying to say something positive earlier, but we all know that the chances of getting him back were slim, but YOU FUKIN DID IT!!!!

Pesto and Mayo reunited!!!

Chaosfeather
Nov 4, 2008



This is the best news I have heard in a long, long time. Welcome home, Pesto. Good job, Plant Monster and Mayo.

gently caress that guy who was mad, btw. I hope he chilled out once you were like LOST PET UP THERE

Time to have a nice, calming day of love and treats for everyone (including yourself!)

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

Thank you everyone.

Pookah posted:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am literally happy-crying for you all right now - I was trying to say something positive earlier, but we all know that the chances of getting him back were slim, but YOU FUKIN DID IT!!!!

Pesto and Mayo reunited!!!

I started happy-crying too. Then I got really happy-hungry. I'm still reeling from the whole thing though. Going to take it mega easy today.

He just gave me a kiss.

Chaosfeather posted:

This is the best news I have heard in a long, long time. Welcome home, Pesto. Good job, Plant Monster and Mayo.

gently caress that guy who was mad, btw. I hope he chilled out once you were like LOST PET UP THERE

He definitely didn't like the cage on his truck but it was the highest thing I could place it on. I took it down and just held it above my head and that's when Pesto came down to see Mayo.

The dude's little kid was watching intently at least. Seemed really intrigued and happy when I caught Pesto.

Then there was the triumphant walk home. Customers that recognized me (I work and live in the same area) stopped and chatted (with distance of course).

I still can't believe he's back

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 14:39 on May 25, 2020

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

Caw





Plant MONSTER. posted:

Thank you everyone.


I started happy-crying too. Then I got really happy-hungry. I'm still reeling from the whole thing though. Going to take it mega easy today.

He just gave me a kiss.

Little birb safe at home kisses
When Pookie got home after being lost outside for several hours she kept saying my name in a really caressing way, like she knew how upset I was, she's never spoken in that way at any other time.

And definitely you take it really really easy for the day. Takes a while to get over a big scare like that, even if it ends as well as this one did.

Organza Quiz
Nov 7, 2009



Aaaaah!! Well done Plant and Pesto!!! That's so amazing to hear.

SuperKlaus
Oct 19, 2005




Fun Shoe

Bird Thread Story Of All Time. The biggest congratulations to you!

Disco Salmon
Jun 19, 2004


omg...I just logged on and read the very first post regarding Pesto's Great Adventure and I was in tears for you Plant and for him

I bulldozed thru the other posts and HE'S HOME!!! GOOD JOB MR BIRD!!!! and excellent job Plant I'm so happy for both of you and for Mayo too....poor little guy must have been terrified. Hopefully, you don't have to go thru this again....what an awful experience.

I'm so so so glad for you tho, I'm crying happy tears atm that your babies are back where they belong and gently caress whoever pulled the alarm. rear end in a top hat.

Faerie Fortune
Nov 13, 2004



That was a ride from start to finish! I'm so glad everything turned out okay, I was heart broken at first because the chance of finding an escaped birb are generally pretty slim but you beat the odds and your buddy is back where he should be!!

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

And finding a budgie seems especially tricky. So tiny, so green and so easily spooked. I was so sure that even if I found him, I wouldn't be able to get him back to me. I almost gave up at the three hour mark but I started hearing him again. Followed the budgie beeps and tried to ignore all the other bird beeps.

He was a thirsty budgie. He didn't even wait for me to put the water bowl back in the cage. Just hopped on it while it was in my hands and started slurping.

Going to slap whoever pulled the fire alarm if it wasn't an accident...

edit- wow, the waves of relief is like drugs. they should turn relief into a pill.

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 16:01 on May 25, 2020

GoingPostal
Jun 1, 2015


I love Derek Smart
U love Derek Smart
If we didn't love Derek Smart, we'd be lame


Oh my god. I was so worried when I checked this thread and saw a ton of new posts. This thread moves slow unless something bad happens. And then we were off on Mr. Pesto's Wild Ride.

But he made it home! A happy ending for a less than grand day out! Hopefully the guy was okay with you climbing on his truck once you explained, or at least when he saw the happy cry from getting Pesto back home.

And I can get behind punching whoever set off the fire alarm as well.

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007



I read the first post just before going to bed and teared up, legitimately one of my worst fears is owning a bird and having them escape, especially during an emergency. Slept terribly, but checking again just now and seeing Pesto safe is absolutely the best thing that's happened all year, I agree about the waves of relief. I even prayed for him to come back, and I'm not even close to religious.

It's a good thing I'm not a parent, I'd be the dad creating a public scene because his idiot son hid in the clothes racks at the store.

redgubbinz fucked around with this message at 18:31 on May 25, 2020

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007


Oh, what a relief.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Yay!!!! Happy endings are the best!!!

mediaphage
Mar 22, 2007


So glad I came late to this story. So glad Birb is back home. God.



never send to know for whom the potato tweets; it tweets for thee

Mizuti
Jan 28, 2007

What a singularly inappropriate moment you've chosen to assert your pedantry.



The world outside is so big and a budgie is so small. I'm so glad it worked out.

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Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

let's end this page with this picture from just now.



Thanks again everyone. I was certainly in a right state last night. Today I had McDonalds for the first time in a year.

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