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Official Bizness
Dec 4, 2007

wark wark wark



I had to help Sherlock Holmes out of a gay scandal. He possibly had contracted an STD from the Queen.

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A Great Big Bee!
Mar 8, 2007

Grimey Drawer
I had one of those dreams you get when you're ill where something repeats itself, over and over and over, like a broken record. It was Mandy Patinkin. Not the man, the name. Mandy Patinkin. Mandy Patinkin. Over and over. Mandy Patinkin.

Mandy Patinkin.

Robawesome
Jul 22, 2005

Strangely enough, I almost never dream. In April of this year I quit smoking weed for 30 days and dreamed nearly every single night, but now that I'm smoking again I haven't been having dreams.

terrez
Mar 20, 2012
I dreamed I was a 6 legged pony who was a math professor fighting traffic-related crime in Baltimore. Then at night I'd have a secret life of robbing drug dealers with Omar as black people can't see 6 legged ponies.

Gingrich 2012

January
Jul 5, 2009

Cryohazard posted:

I get the standard dreams about being able to levitate and fly around, but it just seems to piss everyone else off while I'm zooming around having a blast.

No one in my dreams has ever been impressed that I can fly, either. Most of the time, they don't even seem to notice.

ProfessorMurder posted:

I dreamed that Louis C.K. was trying to save some Golden Retriever puppies from drowning in a whirlpool.

It's funny how until you mentioned that, I didn't recall this, but I dreamed last night that I was watching an episode of Louis C.K. I remember thinking in the dream that the episode was meaningful.

In another dream last night, I noticed that there were Christmas trees in the house. Apparently, my subconscious mind has bought into the "Christmas is coming" marketing hoopla although Thanksgiving hasn't arrived yet.

Burt
Sep 23, 2007

Poke.



Doing Kate Moss up the arse, same as every other night.

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit




Grimey Drawer
I dreamed I was playing some indeterminate position on the Cleveland Browns. In my dream I wasn't even remotely good enough to be on an NFL team, but I was getting really lucky and hoping my luck would keep going so nobody would figure out I'm terrible.

Edit: I think this is a reality for some Browns players, but the luck just stops the moment they put on the uniform.

Desperado Bones
Aug 29, 2009

Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!


I dreamed about Dr.Who, David Tennat Dr.Who, but I blame the Dr.Who marathon I've been having for three days now(I can't remember what the dream was about). Then I woke up to go to the bathroom because in between dreams Dr.Who said "I need to pee".

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
I woke my wife up as I was getting into bed. I gave her a goodnight kiss and she shouted "eew, gross" and insisted on getting up (this was around 1:00 AM, I'd been up late playing facebook games). She said she'd seen something disgusting but wouldn't tell me what. She walked out into the garage before she woke up all the way and told me that she'd apparently been dreaming we had large cardboard boxes full of blood just sitting in the garage and we needed to clean them up.

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

January posted:

No one in my dreams has ever been impressed that I can fly, either. Most of the time, they don't even seem to notice.

Urgh, flying.

I don't deny it's glorious, seeing everything from high and feeling so free. But tactically, it takes so much effort it's better to run really fast, and then hide or fight - if you're in a fight that is. And never count on people being impressed, in fact everyone counts on your ability to fly, and if you can't in that particular dream they can actually be disappointed.

Kuja
Oct 8, 2007
Not economically viable.
I'm sure there are other goons here who have this same issue:

I have recurring dreams about the end of the world. (Disclaimer: I do not think I'm a prophet or that any of this will come true - Just sharing how weird they are and would be curious to hear if other goons have similar nightmares)

It's almost always the same dream, and even as I am going through it, I know what's about to happen next, what people are going to say before they say it, etc, I'm just powerless to stop anything.

It's almost always a flood - A tidal wave or unceasing rain that sweeps in and wipes away buildings and bridges, bearing the bloated bodies of people I've never met, and the occasional friend or relative, cars, and oddly enough, often horses. I may be in different places in the dream, but it always follows the same pattern of me desperately trying to gather my friends and loved ones and flee to higher ground.

Last night I only remember being in the middle of it. Standing in the middle of a delapidated apartment highrise. All the color was washed out of the world, everything was just a greyscale smudge of concrete and glass and unceasing rain. I remember being alone, and rushing up the fire escapes to get to the top to see if I could get cell service higher up. In the distance you can hear those post-war turned weather warning sirens droning on and on. Invariably - I'm trying to call everyone to figure out where they are and how I can get to them, and if I do reach them, they seem totally unconcerned and blow the whole thing off.

My boyfriend answers the phone and tells me he's about to go to a business meeting downtown, and I beg him not to go, trying desperately in that peculiarly frustrating dream-way where you can't do or say exactly what you want. Inevitably, he assures me that it's just a little rain and he'll see me later tonight, and he hangs up, and I'm stuck on some high point, alone, watching the destruction sweep in and just feeling the crushing weight of the knowledge that everyone I have ever cared about is dead and floating in the waters below. And then I wake up.

So, Apocalypse-Dreaming-Goons, share your stories with me so I don't feel so loving morbid.

Kuja fucked around with this message at 16:04 on Nov 20, 2012

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I dreamt I was eating chocolate ice cream then I awoke with a spoon up my rear end.

Help Im Alive
Nov 8, 2009

Do people just make a bunch of poo poo up for these threads or do I just have really boring dreams?

joats
Aug 18, 2007
stupid bewbie
I dreamed about my ex while sleeping next to my gf.

snorch
Jul 27, 2009

Robawesome posted:

Strangely enough, I almost never dream. In April of this year I quit smoking weed for 30 days and dreamed nearly every single night, but now that I'm smoking again I haven't been having dreams.

No surprise there, weed messes with your REM sleep.

Desperado Bones
Aug 29, 2009

Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!


Hsien-Ko posted:

Do people just make a bunch of poo poo up for these threads or do I just have really boring dreams?

Nope, I've dreamed about the internet and all the sites I usually visit. That IS boring and lame.

Shrinkage
Oct 23, 2010
I dreamt I choked a friend of mine to death for driving my car without asking for my permission.

BobKnob
Jul 23, 2002

Vikings are pirates only cooler. Oh yeah not a furry.
I had a dream that I was a WWI ace and I was one of the few that knew why the war was started. No one would share their National French Toast recipes.

Robawesome
Jul 22, 2005

snorch posted:

No surprise there, weed messes with your REM sleep.

Yeah, I've read that before and though it's anecdotal experience, it certainly seems to be true for me.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

IronClaymore posted:

Yeah, getting dream-shot sucks. Not as bad as being drowned though. It's horrific. Word of warning: do NOT drown in dreams. It's actually physically painful. The only way I avoided it hundreds of times was by remembering I could breathe water. Not enough times unfortunately. Additionally, the sheer momentum of 30 metre dream waves is not to be trifled with. They drag you out into deep water when they recede. You see a beach - watch that surf, and be ready to run!

Yes! Holy poo poo, I have many, many dreams about water. Sometimes it's these impossibly huge waves, or just a really high tide, sometimes it calm and basically as far as the eye can see but I definitely can relate to the "giant swell pulling everything back into the water" dream.

Also, teeth falling out, or trying to run away from something but only being able to move in long, slow strides. Also, trying to scream but my voice is gone or really hoarse, usually in conjunction with the running one.

Every year I also get this one recurring dream after the school semester wraps up; I wake up in the morning and holy poo poo! Today is the final exam! But I didn't study! And I also forgot I was in the class and therefore did not go to class all year!
Gets me every time, never fails to make me uncomfortable.

54 40 or fuck fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Nov 20, 2012

Polythene Pam
Dec 27, 2007

And I thought MY super hyper weapon was small...!
Inuyasha wanted to face me in the greatest sword battle ever. As I scratch under my goony stomach at my ingrown hairs, I reached for my samuri sword that was folded over a thousand times by my sensei. The battle was short. There was blood on my baying wolf shirt.

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

Hsien-Ko posted:

Do people just make a bunch of poo poo up for these threads or do I just have really boring dreams?

Nope, sounds like all your subconscious desires are actually fulfilled in waking life. Congratulations on not having sex dreams, quest dreams, flying dreams, or apocalyptic flood dreams. It seems like all these desires are fulfilled in real life. Or whatever the current psychological interpretation for dreams is.

Kuja posted:

Apocalypse flood.

Hey there Apocalyptic flood dream buddy!

Know this: there is always higher ground that you can reach by flying. The problem comes when you can barely gain altitude one your own, much less carry your own weight. Yes my un-athletic body follows me into dreams.


Oh yeah, I thought of another recurring thing. See, here in Australia in the state of Victoria, there's a tiny thin winding path called the Great Ocean Road. It's along a cliff edge for much of its way, nothing separating your speeding car from the deep blue ocean. The legal speed limit's the maximum (roughly 62.5 mph for you Americans) and I've had dozens of dreams just flying off that drat thing.

Regardless, please visit my country. I assure you, hardly any of the tourist buses actually fly off that tiny road into the ocean and have all the occupants eaten by sharks. Really it's totally safe just my dream self doesn't think so.


Edit:

Toriori posted:

Every year I also get this one recurring dream after the school semester wraps up; I wake up in the morning and holy poo poo! Today is the final exam! But I didn't study! And I also forgot I was in the class and therefore did not go to class all year!
Gets me every time, never fails to make me uncomfortable.

It's worse when you've finished all your exams, and it carries over into waking life. You get up at 6 am, after almost endless dreams about exams and studying, get dressed, have breakfast, about to leave, no time for anything, at the last second you realise that your last exam was two weeks ago.

Even worse when you dream about high school exams and you've been in college for four years :psyduck:

IronClaymore fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Nov 20, 2012

Telemarchitect
Oct 1, 2009

TOUCH THE KNOB
Last night I dreamt I was bussing it home from god knows where, and part of the route involved driving across a very narrow, bendy shoal. Barely wide enough for one lane, but oncoming traffic was driving on it too. We started running into some trouble since the bus' wheels were getting caught up in the sand.

"You got this, right?" - I asked the bus driver
"Yeah"

Then as we go around a sharp corner, the rear end of the bus slides off the shoal and we're all in the water and sinking. Everything's dark and underwater and I'm trying not to breathe while I try and smash out the "BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" panel covering the release valve for the door. Of course my punches have no force so the thing doesn't break and I run out of air and wake up.

The wierd part was I couldn't tell whether or not I was underwater since I could breathe air.

Earlier on, I was playing Episode 3 and became part of the game. I got trapped and killed by an enormous, moving Portal sentry turret. Gabe please include this in the game tia.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I dreamt I saw Joe Hill last night alive as you and me. Says I "But Joe, you're long time dead" "I never died" said he. "The Copper Bosses killed you Joe, they filled you full of lead." says I "Takes more than guns to kill a man"
Says Joe "I didn't die".

Then he pulled out his massive throbbing, veiny cock and slapped me over my face until my teeth fell out but as soon as each tooth hit the ground it smashed open a house centipede with more feet than the lights on Broadway crawled out of the bits of broken tooth and darted for the nearest shadow. Then coughing up black bile and blood I curled up into a ball on the floor while Joe Hill swung his massive cock around like a pendulum.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Nov 20, 2012

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I woke my wife up as I was getting into bed. I gave her a goodnight kiss and she shouted "eew, gross" and insisted on getting up (this was around 1:00 AM, I'd been up late playing facebook games). She said she'd seen something disgusting but wouldn't tell me what. She walked out into the garage before she woke up all the way and told me that she'd apparently been dreaming we had large cardboard boxes full of blood just sitting in the garage and we needed to clean them up.

You guys should consider taking a break from serial killing.

I had a fever dream where I was convinced there was a way to predict the future using complex geometric shapes. It was kind of biblical feeling, honestly.

coldpudding
May 14, 2009

FORUM GHOST
last night I dreamed that I was being chased by clamshell packaged Velociraptors down the halls of a spooky dilapidated house with an infinite number of rooms.

my most common recurring dream is best illustrated

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
Not last night, but Sunday night, I had two dreams. The first involved Robin wanting to split from Batman to go play the part of Santa in an ice show, because the lady who played Ms. Claus was hot.

The second involved one of the veins in my left arm expanding like a freaky blue balloon. I woke up before it popped.

Panamaniac fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Nov 20, 2012

Funkysauce
Sep 18, 2005
...and what about the kick in the groin?
I had a dream that I was shooting down some tube ala The Running Man then got catapulted into the air and I landed in a swimming pool. The splash had drenched John Paul II and former president George W. Bush.

I have no idea how the gently caress that happened.

boblemoche
Apr 11, 2008
I had my usual recurring dream :

I'm lost inside a huge empty building (this time it was a train station that kinda looked like the one of my town, but bigger and half converted into a museum). I look outside through a window and realize it's just jungle, as far as I can see.
I wander inside the building for a while, and come across Bill Murray, just standing around in a hall.

Our conversation is always the same :
"Oh, Bill Murray. Means I'm dreaming again, right ?"
"Right."

And I wake up.

I've had this dream at least once a month for years, no idea why.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord
I had a dream right before I woke up that Rita Repulsa was the pink ranger, and her cronies were the other rangers.

God Damn Dam God
Dec 24, 2004

I push buttons. I turn dials. I read numbers. Sometimes I make up little stories in my head about what the numbers mean.
Grimey Drawer
My dream that I was named Miss America and was invited to the White House to have dinner with George and Laura Bush in the Oval Office. Laura Bush had to leave early because she had to catch a poker game. The waiter who was serving us also spoke perfect french. On my way out I high-fived Barack Obama and then woke up.

I guess the oddest thing about this dream is that I'm a dude so I don't know how I would have won the Miss America competition.

Edit: Glad to see I'm not the only one having dreams featuring GW

God Damn Dam God fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Nov 20, 2012

nimh
Sep 18, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
I smoke pot heavily at night so i don't recall any dreams. During periods i've stopped, after a few days off, recall comes back and dreams become very intense.

Usually getting chased by abstract meanies.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
I don't remember my dreams. :cripes:

I'm told I'm prone to yell out randomly at night though.

Ularg
Mar 2, 2010

Just tell me I'm exotic.
I had a dream about Gravity Falls. I've never watched Gravity Falls.

3 Tablets Daily
Jun 7, 2006

by Cyrano4747
Dreamed that I was taking an intro Russian course and the teacher got all butthurt over the fact that I wasn't fluent in Russian on the first day.

Telemarchitect
Oct 1, 2009

TOUCH THE KNOB

SniperWoreConverse posted:

I had a fever dream where I was convinced there was a way to predict the future using complex geometric shapes. It was kind of biblical feeling, honestly.

In a similar vein, I had a fever dream where I thought America was the 3D Pipes screensaver.

AzureSkys
Apr 27, 2003

I usually have dreams that don't really make much sense or amount to anything interesting. I rarely have violent or disturbing dreams. I don't have anyone at the moment to share this with to get it out of my mind, so here you go SA.

Last night's dream was awful and probably inspired by my watching the latest Walking Dead episode. People I knew were gathering in a small house in a crowded neighborhood but something was wrong. I don't remember the pieces leading up to why it was bad, but two cats kept coming in and they absolutely couldn't be around. So, with much regret our only choice was to kill them. A kid who resembled my 8 yr old nephew and I had to do it. All we had were pocket knives.

It got pretty awful after that and I woke up just as I did it with the sounds and feelings still quite vivid and had to hold my dog for a bit since I felt so bad.

(I don't have a cat, but love them all the same)

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I dreamed that a hamburger was eating me!

Icesler
Jul 7, 2005
I had a dream that I had to purchase a new impeller for my dirtbike and if I didn't purchase it within 5 seconds, people would die. BEEP BEEP BEEP ........ I need to purchase this impeller now!! almost there need to click check out and BEEP BEEP BEEP ..... I need to purchase this impeller now!! almost there need to click check out and BEEP BEEP BEEP. ..... I need to purchase this impeller now!! almost there need to click check out and BEEP BEEP BEEP. Alright! gently caress, I'll get up and go to work now. Those dream people are forever doomed.

God drat looping dreams. Can't I ever be satisfied?

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whatis
Jun 6, 2012
I don't remember my dreams really. I can only recall three with any sort of clarity:

1) The spiky bees from Donky Kong Country were playing football on my bed. After every play, I'd yell at them to stop because I was tired and wanted to sleep. This went on for hours.

2) A cartoon peanut jumping in and out of a small hole in the ground. That's it. Again, this went on for hours.

3) There was a silhouette of a man sitting in my room facing my stereo. Whenever I would close my eyes or look away, the stereo would turn on and start blasting music. I'd get up, turn off the stereo, yell at the guy, and get back in bed. I never saw the guy move at all. Like the other two dreams, this simple scenario repeated itself for what felt like hours.

Everything else is always gone the second I wake up. I'll get flashes of images, but they're devoid of any sort of context.

I also hallucinate and talk to people that aren't in the room before I fall asleep apparently, and it freaks my girlfriend out.

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