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I dreamed that I woke up and looked out my bedroom window, and there was a cop car pulled over on the street, and a cop was standing just outside my backyard and staring at me with binoculars. Then I realized I was actually awake but still dreaming, which happens occasionally to me. Freaked me the gently caress out. Had to check a minute later when I was fully awake that there was no voyeuristic cop.
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Nov 21, 2012 15:26
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 08:09 |
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Loretta Trampface posted:I had dreams that i was having seizures and then dreams that I had hundreds of needles stuck through my arms and moving to pick one out would just lodge more in me. Consider yourself lucky you can sleep on effexor at all, when I took it (for three days) I was awake for seven straight days and nights. They had to give me chloral hydrate, the date rape/robbery drug of choice in the 1890's, to put me to sleep. I dreamt last night that I was in elementary school, being bullied by the poor and fat and underachieving students (I don't know why but the rich, slender, overachievers were always nice to me), as was usual back then, when the SWAT team burst in and blew all their brains out, as well as the brains of a bunch of kids who were just walking by. I was scared shitless. It skipped ahead (or at least I don't remember how I got there) to a big non-denominational group funeral, and all the dead kids' parents started gathering around me and started hitting me and shouting things to the effect of "This is your fault, you called the SWAT team". My parents stood by and did nothing. Then I woke up a few minutes ago.
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Nov 22, 2012 13:10
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I dreamt I was on a massive, moon-sized generation ship on its way to America's new home (sorry non-Americans, the ship was built by America so only Americans got to leave the Earth, which now was 500x more dangerous and radioactive than in Fallout, but with fewer radio stations). It was close to Christmas time when the aliens from Independence Day started blowing up parts of the habitat ring for target practice. My family's tiny apartment was right next to the President's family's apartment, so President Bill Pullman enlisted me to help him get to the engine room so he could reconfigure the engines to emit some kind of bullshit energy pulse that would disable the aliens' weapon systems, since we didn't anticipate a need for weapon systems of our own. The downside was, the engines would be fried afterwards and the ship would be stuck there forever, so life on the habitat ring would be the only future our descendants would ever know. It was an action-packed journey during which I kept blubbering because I didn't want to die. When we got to the engine room, I realized that was where everyone had been hiding their Christmas presents for their loved ones, except me, I kept them in my closet I shared with my parents, siblings, my brother's wife, and all our dogs (yes, dogs got to come along, but not non-Americans. I assume they must have been emergency rations or were there to prevent cabin fever or something), so they could all see every day what I was getting them for Christmas. I started opening a package with my name on it when the President threatened me with treason if I opened my presents before December 25, though I was allowed to open one on Christmas Eve. He and the team of engineers already there did the thing to the engines, and the attacks stopped. The president said that they had made the pulse too strong, so it had killed all the aliens instead of just disabling their weapons, which meant we could steal their engines, which were capable of achieving relativistic speeds, so we would end up at our new home in mere minutes (our time) instead of 1000 years. Then I said "Mr. President, I hope this isn't terribly inappropriate, but I really have to take a leak". Then I woke up and went to the bathroom to take a piss. I didn't have any dreams I remember after I went back to bed.
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Nov 23, 2012 13:25
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I dreamt I was hired by a rich family to babysit their ten year old son, and before his parents left his father took me aside and said "He can be a bit of a dick, so if he gives you too much back-talk, just smack him". Later we were watching tv and he said "Gimme the remote, rear end in a top hat". Remembering what his dad said, I smacked him. He shouted "WHAT THE gently caress, YOU CRAZY RETARD!?" This made me see red, and unable to control my rage, I punched him in chest hard enough to crack ribs. He pulled out his blackberry, speed-dialed 911, and said "Police, come quick, some crazy retarded human being is trying to rape me!" I bolted out the front door, terrified of spending the next several years in prison, and there was a cab conveniently waiting for me out front. I said I needed to go to the airport. I went to several different third-world cities trying to evade the authorities, but not much happened until I got to Mombasa, probably because I've seen Inception too many times. I realized I didn't know what country Mombasa was in, so while I was racking my brain trying to figure out where on the planet I actually was, I spotted a "WANTED BY INTERPOL" poster of myself pasted on a nearby wall. That's when I woke up screaming.
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Dec 29, 2012 16:07
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I dreamt I saw the extended director's cut of Django Unchained, which was mostly set in a limousine being driven by Christoph Waltz through modern day Los Angeles while Larry David and Shelley Berman sat in the back doing whip-its, breaking the fourth wall, telling lame jokes and laughing. Mr. Waltz smoked joints the whole time. At one point Shelley Berman ate an ounce of magic mushrooms, which caused Larry David to turn into a ferengi. Shelley kept saying "Show the people your lobes!", which made Larry David and Christoph Waltz laugh even harder. There was some dramatic tension when they realized that sinister doppelgangers of Larry and Shelley with blurry faces were chasing the car at impossible speeds, but they escaped them eventually. At some point they got to West Hollywood and picked up a hitchhiker who happened to be Caesar from Rise of The Planet of The Apes. Suddenly they were all in New York City, and there was a weird green naked four foot tall alien with no genitalia holding a helium-filled balloon and trying to hail a cab in front of the MoMA. Caesar said not to pick him up, he didn't like the look of him. I went to the bathroom and kept wondering when they were going to introduce Django and King and all the characters and events I was familiar with from the original release, but when I got back I realized I had missed all of that stuff while taking a piss. Must have been a really long piss, I guess. There was a caption on the screen that said 'Part 3 Directed by Robert Rodriguez', which I realized was an animated sequel to Spy Kids. Then I woke up.
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Jan 17, 2013 17:58
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^^^^ gently caress, you dreamt about Hunter S. Thompson last night, too? And you're also in Indiana? Fuckin' crazy coincidence. edit: Oh wait, you posted that yesterday, that means you dreamt it the night before last. Still, that's a coincidence. Lemme see, last night... Last night I dreamt that I was a person living on Cartoon Planet, which is apparently an extra-dimensional space where cartoon characters live in between sequels for characters from movies, in between seasons for characters from shows, and for either if their film series or tv had been cancelled, though there were a fair number of non-cartoon inhabitants as well. I was investigating the murder of Macauly Culkin's character from Pagemaster, and uncovered a vast, if nonsensical conspiracy to destroy Cartoon Planet. I guess I was a detective of some sort. I interviewed A.J. Bullock from American Dad, Dot Warner from Animaniacs (who was working as a Hooter's bartender, disturbingly enough), that purple hulk-like character from The Justice Friends from Dexter's Laboratory (who told me he was "last season's murderer" and was innocent this time), and Diego from Go, Diego, Go!, which I've only seen once when I woke up real early still full of cannabis cookies from the night before. Interestingly, it turns out all the characters from Go, Diego, Go! were not actually cartoon characters, but a group of affluent, young Latino-American businessmen who enjoyed role-playing as cartoon characters. Eventually I found out that the guys out to destroy Cartoon Planet were the actual Macauly Culkin and Jaimie Mantzel, who had built a giant spider robot to destroy the place. It was a pretty unimpressive giant robot since it was just four of the toy-sized spider robots that Jaimie Mantzel had connected together so they moved in a centipede-like way, so it was only a giant robot compared to the toy versions. Then I woke up and went to the bathroom. After I went back to sleep, I had a nightmare where I kept waking up and everything seemed totally real, like I was awake, but then something horrible would happen, like I would trip and break a bone or start having uncontrollable bloody diarrhea. Eventually I dreamt I woke up and called information asking for a doctor who specialized in that sort of thing and could make a housecall that night. My mom showed up at my house to yell at me for some reason I can't remember. Then my new doctor showed up, who turned out to be none other than Hunter S. Thompson, though he was acting quiet, civil, and like you would expect a responsible doctor to act. He prescribed me some restoril, which he insisted would make the nightmares stop. My mom grabbed the script out my hands, tore it up and screamed "He can't have that!" at Dr. Thompson. He began acting like he was famous for acting, calling my mother "pig-loving swine". I started running away because I became terrified for some reason, and looked back and my mother was chasing me, but she had vampire fangs. She caught me, tore my scrotum off through my bluejeans, and started drinking my blood through my carotid artery. I woke up screaming, awake for real this time (I assume). Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Feb 11, 2013 |
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Feb 11, 2013 23:33
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Grei Skuring posted:I dreamt that Karl Pilkington was forced to run around on derelict, alien-infested space ships (basically, Dead Space) while simultaneously talking into his headset (because they had a radio show to make, you know). This was some kind of strange, new feature on the radio show Ricky Gervais used to make with Karl and Steve Merchant. Karl wasn't happy. Sounds par for the course for how Ricky and Stephen treat Karl. I dreamt last night that a DEA agent was interrogating me about my drug use, and was completely ignoring the quasi-legal research chemicals in my freezer, the ayahuasca ingredients I ordered while black-out drunk and plan to throw away or return when they arrive, and the empty jars, bottles, and green-stained t-shirts used for mescaline extraction in my storage room, and instead focused on my set of Cards Against Humanity cards, at one point pulling a gun on me and pointing it directly at my face because one of the cards said "salvia" on it. loving terrifying.
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Feb 20, 2013 02:21
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Coffee And Pie posted:I've had exactly two sex dreams: one about a girlfriend at the time, and one about Janine Garofalo I've only ever had sex dreams when I've had a broken right wrist. Last night I dreamt I was playing a fully immersive MMORPG from the Elder Scrolls team. When I say fully immersive, I mean like, cable plugged into the back of your head immersive, no monitor or anything. I started out in a magic goods shop, with standard stuff like potions and magic weapons and armor on display. The proprietor of the shop, a blonde woman in medieval looking clothing asked me if I'd like to buy anything. I don't remember what I said, except that it involved an expletive, which offended her. She walked away from me through a wallpaper covered wall. I followed her, finding the wall to be quite easy to pass through. On the other side was what looked like a medieval-themed Applebee's. I saw she was apparently also working there as a waitress. I apologized for cursing, and she said it was alright, she was just upset because this was the first anniversary of her being stuck in the game. Apparently her body had a heart attack and died while she was playing, which turned her into an NPC. I offered my condolences, and then headed back through the wall into the shop. A group of high level characters that were obviously griefers invited me to join their party. I figured they would kill me at some point, but no big deal, I was only level 1, with nothing useful to steal. We headed out across the southern plains towards The Night Hag's Keep, and suddenly they all started shouting in horror "Oh no! It's The Weaver!". The Weaver was a giant dog that looked like Belome from Super Mario RPG. As I was gearing up to either fight or evade the creature, I woke up.
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Mar 29, 2013 15:11
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I dreamt I was stuck on a derelict cruise ship with Penn & Teller, the ship's hired entertainment, when we realized the whole place was run by the mafia (led for some reason by a seven foot tall Joel McHale) and that for some reason they wanted to kill all three of us, even though I had paid good money for that cruise. We fled for our lives, trying to avoid their goon squads, until Penn eventually fell on accident into a half-full hot tub that I somehow intuitively knew was full of liquid LSD. Since he had never done drugs before, this turned him into that crazy fleshy monster that William Hurt turned into in Altered States. He got better a few seconds later though, and we continued running and hiding. Eventually giant Joel McHale ran into us, and he had three armed gangster bodyguards with him. All three of us had our hands up, but I decided to take a risk and grab one of the guns away from one of them. I got it in my hand, disengaged the safety, and started trying to fire on them. Nothing happened. They all started laughing, and Joel said "This mook doesn't even know how to operate the new safeties Obama made them put on all new guns!" Then they shot us all to death and I woke up. Also, there were rocket packs involved somehow at some point, as well as looking through Joel's desk for evidence against him incase we survived.
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Jun 10, 2013 15:43
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I just took a nap and I dreamt there was a non-violent socialist revolution in Brazil that resulted in decreased income inequality, and a higher GNP and GDP. Yeah, it was pretty dry as far as dreams go.
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Jun 14, 2013 22:06
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I dreamt that I made millions of dollars through kickstarter with a new George Formby-themed pornographic CRPG titled When I'm Creaming Windows.
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Aug 9, 2013 13:34
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I dreamt that they were shooting another season of Meet The Natives, and I had taken a group of cargo cultists from Tanna to The House On The Rock, which freaked them out greatly. About half-way through I realized that we'd all eaten gel-caps of 4-aco-dmt, which for those of you who don't know is basically synthetic shrooms. This made things much more confusing and terrifying for them, but I was having a great time since I love The House On The Rock and 4-aco-dmt. Eventually they started coming down and their English translator was able to speak in a more or less sensible manner, so I decided to try and explain Tex Avery cartoons to him. I told him that he would frequently use anthropomorphized wolves (which are a type of dog, I know they don't have wolves on Tanna) in his cartoons as humorous symbols of the male libido, but he was just not getting it, probably because he was still high as gently caress and surrounded by crazy poo poo. Then Oprah and Nelsan Ellis (who is a friend of a friend but I've never met him) showed up and I woke up.
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Oct 15, 2013 19:08
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I was at that Harry Potter theme park, which I've never been to, and it was actually much more like Wizard Quest in Wisconsin Dells, which I've also never been to and have only read the vice article about it. I was much younger, like 12, and went with my whole family who were also much younger. We all had wizard powers to help us solve the various puzzles. The tickets cost $1500 each to get in, but every time you solved a puzzle you would win a prize worth at least $1000, usually an electronic musical instrument or multi-track recorder or something like that. I had accrued some pretty awesome loot, a KORG synthesizer module of some kind, a 32 track digital recorder, a steinberger bass, various pieces of expensive jewelry, and an xbox one (which is only worth over $1000 because it's not on the market yet). I actually won so much stuff I had to start ditching stuff so I could carry it all. I decided to drop the multi-track recorder. Eventually we decided to all split up and try and solve things ourselves. I got lost in an Arabian-themed area that was also an airport terminal, so I made a mental note not to mention the words "bomb" or "gun" or "Allah". There was also a giant spiderweb on the ceiling. Around that point I realized I was an adult again, and I ran into the (supposedly reformed) twin neo-nazi folk duo Prussian Blue, who were wearing matching blue dresses that were much too young looking for women their age, kind of reminiscent of those girls from The Shining. We decided to team up and try and solve the puzzles together. We got more stuff including a steinberger guitar and a portable amp, so one of them played Eruption by Van Halen with it, even though the guitar had a trans-trem bridge on it which would be inappropriate for that kind of music. While she was playing her sister started hitting on me, and then started aggressively making out with me against my will. I was paralyzed for some reason and unable to push her away. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, thought "This is weird, I'm frequently mistaken for Jewish, why would a nazi be interested in me? I really wish she would stop", and when I opened my eyes both of them were grossly underage, like 15 tops. I screamed and ran, leaving all my awesome, expensive toys with them. I ran for a while, panicking that I was going to be arrested for child molestation even though she'd forced herself on me and was in her early twenties when she started kissing me. I passed a mirror that looked like the magic mirror from the first Harry Potter movie, but wasn't magical, and saw that I'd turned back into a 12 year old, and they were now actually older than me. Around that time my parents and siblings found me and I told them I wanted to go back to the hotel so we exited through the gift shop and I woke up. Overall I'd give it a 4 out of 10, because getting all that free stuff was fun, and so was having wizard powers, but getting sexually assaulted and then thinking I might go to prison for it was not. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Oct 17, 2013 |
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Oct 17, 2013 15:24
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I was watching an SNL sketch with Amy Poehler and the guy from Now You See Me, which I haven't seen and I haven't watched SNL in years so I don't know his name, and they were sitting in a living room in a suburban mansion filled with Christmas decorations and a roaring fire in the fireplace. Amy said, with a terrible, non-nation-specific Scandinavian accent (I'm talking barely more authentic than the bork-bork-bork Swedish chef) "O-M-G, I am going to die! You must put your penis in my vagina to save me!" The guy looked puzzled and responded in the same accent "How do I do that?" It then cut to them sitting on their knees in front of a coffee table, looking into a microscope while he manipulated something tiny on the microscope slide with a pair of tweezers, and the two moaned erotically in a way, way over the top fashion. The audience thought this was totally hilarious. That's all I can remember, which is weird because I usually can remember more and I've been taking galantamine for the past few days which is supposed to improve dream recall and/or trigger lucid dreaming. edit: Oh, I remembered another part. Roseanne Barr joined the tea party for some reason. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Oct 21, 2013 |
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Oct 21, 2013 16:46
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I dreamt during a nap I took today that I went to a really weird head shop that was 95% a massage studio that happened to also sell a small selection of pipes and alternative books. I bought a pipe shaped like a huge revolver, where the bowl was in the bottom bullet chamber and you put your mouth on the barrel to inhale. It was ginormous, at least 4 times bigger and much darker colored than the cartoon revolver Eddie Valiant uses in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I also bought a weird version of the Physician's Desk Reference that was written very similarly to the regular PDR but was entirely about recreational drugs and also included photographs. The dream skipped ahead after I left the store and I was riding in the passenger seat of a hummer while a 13 or 15 year old boy was driving it. Jimmy Kimmel was following us on a WWII era motorcycle with an empty sidecar, wearing a WWI doughboy uniform with the weird metal helmet and everything. I read various entries to the kid, who found them all really interesting, but I only remember a bit of what was written. In the section on LSD it said "Most of this book is written with a Victorian style, but no one in the Victorian era ever dropped acid, so this section is written a bit different". I skipped to the section on mescaline, and it mentioned that "...some people with high levels of melanin in their skin will form mescaline into pellets and implant them subdermally for an extended trip. It is not recommended that lighter skinned people attempt this, as it is far more noticeable on them". It included a photo of a black guy's hand with a mescaline implant underneath his skin, about four times larger than a tic-tac. It was very noticeable, so I wondered how noticeable it must look on a white or east asian person. The book summarized mescaline by saying "Overall, mescaline is a very good drug despite it's high cost due to its being easily available at most plant nurseries and being quasi-legal. It provides a reasonably visual trip but with a very high body load". I had been reading the article out loud to the kid, who was still very interested in what I was saying. I mentioned that I was a big fan of mescaline and that it was probably my favorite drug, and if they banned everything else including alcohol and tobacco but made mescaline legal, I would still be happy, but I would hate to implant it under my skin. Jimmy Kimmel sped up his motorcycle until he was right by the driver's side window and said "Hey- I mean- You should- Y'know- Try and take, like, 63 doses of mescaline at once! Then I bet you could finally figure out 'What does the fox say?'" and then he sped off. The kid and I both started laughing uproariously at this dumb youtube reference and then I woke up because my dad called me to tell me he found out he doesn't have a brain tumor, which I knew already because he obviously has dermatomyositis and just needs to get on steroids and quit bitching. Sorry for injecting some real life into it there at the end, it's been a long day.
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Oct 24, 2013 03:29
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 08:09 |
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I dreamt that they had released wolves into Indiana, which I only realized after finding wolf tracks in the snow in my front yard. We've had between zero and .01 inches of snow this autumn, so that was kind of weird. I had to stand outside in the cold with my boston terrier to make sure she didn't get gobbled up. I also dreamt that I was in a ps1 era jrpg, which involved a lot of travelling underground, but all the catacombs we traveled through were made of chocolate and kept melting. Towards the end I was in one of my childhood homes and my character had become a villain and thus an NPC. I saw myself flying around the foyer of my old house in the third person, and this villain that looked just like me but clearly wasn't me kept freaking out the leader of the party with his new found psychic powers by repeatedly telling him the date and year in which he was going to die. At some point the guy stopped looking like me and started looking like Dracula from the covers of Abhay Khosla's Bram Stoker's Dracula.
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Oct 31, 2013 15:56
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