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has he considered insurance sales?
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Apr 19, 2018 18:50
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I didn't say the word "GOD" either time I took the oath. Are they going to toss me in a concentration camp?
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Apr 19, 2018 18:52
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MrUnderbridge posted:In school he was a thief, liar and serial plagiarist. He's totaled four cars since graduation, had several dead end jobs that never lasted more than a couple of months and flunked out of med tech and flight attendant schools. Sounds like he'd fit right in with the army!
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Apr 19, 2018 19:11
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MrUnderbridge posted:So out of curiosity, what would get a 23 year old out of Navy boot camp after two weeks? This kids claim is that they asked him to "come back in eight months". If it was the army, to get out that quick you'd have to bail while in reception, before you even actually had people yelling at you. If you got to actual basic that poo poo took months to send you home. Lemniscate Blue posted:It's fitness. Noice.
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Apr 19, 2018 19:16
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Unless they've changed things up. Doesn't make sense to keep people around for months if they don't want to be there. Of course the military doesn't exactly make a lot of sense.
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Apr 19, 2018 19:19
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Casimir Radon posted:Unless they've changed things up. Doesn't make sense to keep people around for months if they don't want to be there. Of course the military doesn't exactly make a lot of sense. You have four years to decide whether or not you think you're a good fit.
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Apr 19, 2018 19:26
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Casimir Radon posted:I didn't say the word "GOD" either time I took the oath. Are they going to toss me in a concentration camp? Nor did I.
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Apr 19, 2018 22:13
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If you're in the military and not a serial plagiarist you're doing it wrong
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Apr 20, 2018 02:35
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Mustang posted:If you're in the military and not a serial plagiarist you're doing it wrong S1 is always angry because they have to read the same dozen bullets from armystudyguide 200 times a quarter.
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Apr 20, 2018 02:51
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Well at least my current leadership is realistic and like "We know you all worked on the same poo poo, just copy and paste bullets for evals once they're get approved". Saves time when you're doing 15 evals in the same month.
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Apr 20, 2018 03:18
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Iraq was the land of hosed up hand off’s. We got lucky in that right when we showed up fighting started picking up close to our base so we were able to do some see one done one poo poo but it was still slow enough to get some of the mundane stuff handed over but they left a few days after we got there so that was it. Que months of the fighting getting more intense and getting closer to and eventually passing by the base and we get pretty good at what we do but eventually the fighting moves farther north and the teams further out start taking the brunt of he patient load. This leads to weeks of no combat traumas only punctuated by one off mass cals to help out the forward teams. Eventually the team replacing us shows up and while it’s about three times bigger than the Army team that we replaced which was still bigger than our team it quickly became clear that they were retarded even by Army standards but gently caress it we are almost out of here so all we had to do was make sure they could take over for us. Since there weren’t any patients for them to work on like we had they came up with the idea of doing an exercise to show that they were spun up and ready to take over. Now mind you this is loving the rear end end of Iraq and it had no shortage or blast and gunshot injuries so we stood back and watched how they would handle this excerise. Exercise patient was found unresponsive on base hypoxic and they even moulaged them up to be cyanotic and they came in with a little kidney basin with a material that was found next to them. Turns out these dumb fucks decided to exercise how to treat an opium overdose in the middle of the fight against ISIS in order to prove their readiness to take care of people in a hospital that regularly saw multiple amputations but not a single OD. We just rolled our eyes, said good job and gave them our radios. Last patient we had there was some American contractor who they almost killed but I wasn’t about to touch the death trap oxygen system they jerry rigged to him so as to avoid putting my name on that train wreck of a “team”. Cenen fucked around with this message at 05:48 on Apr 21, 2018 |
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Apr 21, 2018 05:45
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Cenen posted:Iraq was the land of hosed up hand off’s. Almost shot the army unit that replaced us because no one told us when they werer coming or thought of a handoff or left seat/right seat. To be fari to us they didn't stop when we told them and instead sped up. Oh and at somepoint someone gave us a heavily bowlderidzeed version of the private Lynch disaster that went "the enemy has some of our vehicles, dont be afraid to shoot em." I think inmate sixta was a symptom of a larger problematic issue.
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Apr 23, 2018 06:19
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Since we're covering ammo stories: Why No Smoking Areas are A Thing In 2004 part of my job was helping get accountability of the Iraqi Security Forces in our sector in Al-Anbar. We had tons of guys technically on "the books" but many variants of "the books" to the point we weren't clear on who we had or didn't, what equipment they had, who was getting paid when, etc. At one point a neighboring unit realized that during a handover they'd lost track of an entire company of Iraqi Army troops, and when they swung by to check on them after months of not paying them or talking to them, of course they'd all deserted with all their weapons and gear and stripped the copper wire out of the walls of the HQ. So I would go out on missions when we visited other bases, and hit up their S-2 and EOD for any confiscated AKs I could grab, to re-issue and any sealed crates of ammo we could re-issue and/or use in training the ISF. One night we rolled into Camp TQ and I went to pick up a few dozen AKs from the Duty, and he mentioned they had a bunch of ammo too if I wanted it. He directed me down the road, and we roll up on this sub-compound that apparently used to be an old Iraqi Army motor-pool, since it had all these concrete overheads on pillars to shade vehicles, and a big concrete lot. I'll skip ahead a bit and say once we busted out the flashlights and started going through the piles, we found dozens of tuna-cans of AK ammo, stacks of 9mm in cardboard boxes, and several wooden cases of 8mm Mauser ammo that I snagged to gift to Bedouins in our area since most of them use that rifle, ammo so old the crate still had the Nazi eagle on it. And mixed amongst all this junk was loose artillery and mortar shells, AA shells with fuzes in, crates of road flares, and literal flour-sacks full of pure black gunpowder. The important part: right as we rolled up, there were two cats standing guard from the Mississippi National Guard, sitting on a mound of dirt in the middle of the lot... and chain-smoking cigarettes. Now I realize that you can *probably* use a live artillery shell as an ashtray and it *probably* won't explode and kill you, and they would probably argue that they're "fine" since they're about 30ft away from the nearest stack of random explosives and *loose gunpowder* but honestly it just doesn't seem the smartest move.
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Apr 24, 2018 01:53
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poo poo I got yelled at for throwing rocks at inert shells. We had a game called “throw rocks at the stack of bullshit rounds and listen to the weird noises” in which we got caught and told we were stupid. Despite learning that rocks ain’t gonna do poo poo to a fuzeless round. I was also yelled at for putting my clearance badge for AIT or whatever the gently caress they made me wear, in my helmet like Joker. Pretended it was press credentials and was told to act like an adult. Also had a DS refuse me a weekend just because he didn’t like me. A bunch of people got their passes pulled for room violations and while everyone fixed theirs, I was told “nope!” And kept behind. Another SGT, who was upset that I beat him academically and was a reclass for loving recruits, kept kicking the back of my seat on graduation day. Calling me a human being because I put some gel in my hair (he did too, he looked and acted like Garnier from Band or Brothers, except with Donald Trump’s perspective). gently caress Redstone Arsenal.
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Apr 24, 2018 03:11
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Soulex posted:gently caress Redstone Arsenal. One of the coolest intel outfits is at Redstone Arsenal. The Missile and Space Intelligence Center. Also known as MSIC.
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Apr 24, 2018 09:36
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The city is really loving cool. They have that show I need to watch, Rocket City Redneck or whatever. Big space museum iirc there. Too bad it’s in Alabama.
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Apr 24, 2018 17:11
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My favorite Marine ever was a most unusual fellow from somewhere in eastern Tennessee who was about 5'1"/105 lbs, balding, had a cleft lip, and strong Appalachian southern accent. His name was McCamus. He loved rap music and patriotic poetry, and would occasionally brand himself "MC Amus" and spit out a rap he claimed was freestyle, but actually the same lyrics every time. I was a Sgt when he checked into the battalion, and I distinctly remember his Alpha blouse covered in wrinkles, as he had apparently wadded it up in his sea bag during the trip from MOS school to Camp Lejeune. It was too late in the day to have him go fix anything, so the other Sgt in the company office and I told him to go ahead and check in with the 1stSgt, who promptly started screaming obscenities before he could even report. He would sometimes wake up at 3 or 4 am and brew coffee over an open flame he lit in the grill outside the barracks. It was awful and he didn't strain the grounds. He would then knock on peoples doors asking them if they wanted any. If he didn't wake up at 3 or 4 to brew coffee, he would sleep in and miss formation/pt/whatever because he would go to bed at 1 or 2 and not set an alarm. Thankfully he was not in my platoon so I didn't have to deal with fixing this stuff. He would hit on ANY girl, regardless of rank, level of attractiveness, etc. He would use corny pick up lines like "did it hurt..... when you fell from heaven?" Every single girl I know of that he hit on thought it was hilarious; he was so small that not a single one of them ever thought he was creepy. My company went on a field ex where I ended up sitting ECP duty for our COC the entire time so that the junior guys could get practice in conducting ops. The ex lasted a week, and every single night he would come to the ECP and regale me with his life story, which subsequently changed each time he told it. There were some common elements: someone always died, sometimes it was his dad, sometimes his girlfriend, sometimes his unborn baby after his girlfriend got hit by a bus. His little brother beat him up, his girlfriend got an abortion just to spite him, he joined the Marines Corps to get away from Appalachian hitmen who wanted him dead. I have no idea whether he realized he was telling me different life stories every night. He was slated for a MEU because he was the only one around to fill a specific MOS line number on the T/O, and managed to deploy despite threatening to kill his SSgt because they had no one else to fill his job (ELINT). Ultimately he got kicked out of the Marines for taking TS paperwork outside the SCIF. A friend of mine was lucky enough to be on duty when NCIS dissected his room to make sure he didn't have any more. When they went to knock on his door, no one answered. They used the master key to get in, and found him butt naked and asleep on the bathroom floor, having konked out while taking a dump. According to my friend, his room contained over 100 hand made knives consisting of crappily carved handles with cheap blades he took out of folding pocket knives, homemade bow and arrows that barely worked, bottles filled with a urine and semen mix (the rooms in the barracks had their own bathrooms) berries he picked from the forest that he was storing in his clothes drawers, and a $250 bottle of scotch that he wasn't old enough to legally drink. After this event, the same friend told me that McCamus had asked him for advice on how to turn everything around and become a good Marine. This was after something like 4 NJPs and a pending ADSEP, he honestly had no grasp of the fact that he was done at that point.
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Apr 24, 2018 19:41
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That's amazing, I'm dying laughing here
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Apr 24, 2018 19:48
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Godspeed McAnus
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Apr 24, 2018 20:12
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When was this because I need to find out if I know anybody that might have more stories about him
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Apr 24, 2018 20:14
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This thread is just the best
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Apr 24, 2018 20:16
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Inferno985 posted:bottles filled with a urine and semen mix Couldn't decide if he was coming or going canyoneer fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Apr 24, 2018 |
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Apr 24, 2018 20:31
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Internet Wizard posted:When was this because I need to find out if I know anybody that might have more stories about him I want to say he checked in to 2d Radio Bn sometime in 2008. He was kicked out after I PCS'd, don't know the exact timeline. Most Marine SIGINTers in during that timeframe should know his name, he's still famous even now. Another one I just remembered, two of my Marines was at the rec center and noticed that McCamus was logged onto one of the computers there. He got up and left without logging out or closing the browser, so naturally my guys went to check out what he had been doing. He was roleplaying as a werewolf on some kind of chat room, so they immediately printed the logs. The chat logs showed an intricate roleplay between him and some other folks involving werewolves, werebears, rabbits, and God knows what else. Naturally, they were sexually explicit. He also was inserting names into the story of other people from our unit who he didn't actually hang out with...I guess he just thought they were cool enough dudes to be characters in his roleplay chat.
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Apr 24, 2018 20:36
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Inferno985 posted:I want to say he checked in to 2d Radio Bn sometime in 2008. He was kicked out after I PCS'd, don't know the exact timeline. Most Marine SIGINTers in during that timeframe should know his name, he's still famous even now.  McAnus you weird motherfucker
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Apr 24, 2018 21:08
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McAnus sounds like the kind of man they used to write folk songs about.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:27
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Does MC Amus like Waffle House by any chance?
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Apr 24, 2018 21:31
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Marine Erotic Friend Fiction
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Apr 24, 2018 21:56
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canyoneer posted:Couldn't decide if he was coming or going I literally lol'd and then groaned.
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Apr 24, 2018 23:32
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Inferno985 posted:My favorite Marine ever was a most unusual fellow from somewhere in eastern Tennessee who was about 5'1"/105 lbs, balding, had a cleft lip, and strong Appalachian southern accent. His name was McCamus. He loved rap music and patriotic poetry, and would occasionally brand himself "MC Amus" and spit out a rap he claimed was freestyle, but actually the same lyrics every time. And that Marine? Well, you might have heard of a guy called Eminem...
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Apr 24, 2018 23:35
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Inferno985 posted:I want to say he checked in to 2d Radio Bn sometime in 2008. He was kicked out after I PCS'd, don't know the exact timeline. Most Marine SIGINTers in during that timeframe should know his name, he's still famous even now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1T5FBq4JHU
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Apr 24, 2018 23:40
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Inferno985 posted:... was logged onto one of the computers there. He got up and left without logging out or closing the browser, so naturally my guys went to check out what he had been doing. A Senior Airman I worked with did that, so we changed the autocorrect on MSWord so every time she typed "the" it's changed to "teh". She spent a week just dealing with it, with us carefully listening for the right time, until she loudly bitched about it and then we let her in on the joke.
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Apr 25, 2018 00:58
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Years and years and years ago when I was in college I found a computer at the library that someone had left logged into the forums. I sincerely regret not posting a BAN ME thread on their behalf instead of being a considerate adult and logging them out.
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Apr 25, 2018 04:08
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:Stories about three idiots. So we have Tinker, Tailor, Soldier. Where is the last?
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Apr 25, 2018 05:40
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Munin posted:So we have Tinker, Tailor, Soldier. Where is the last? Classified.
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Apr 25, 2018 12:35
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Weird TNG episodes are just the best
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Apr 25, 2018 13:12
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MA-Horus posted:Classified. Boooh!
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Apr 26, 2018 05:51
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We had a straight up "stolen" valor dude that came to my guard unit when I was drilling before pre-basic training soldiers were required to go to a DEP program rather than the unit they were assigned to. His name was PV2 Scott, did a 4 year stint in active duty and came to the unit with an EIB and ranger tab. The weird issue is he had textbook meth mouth and was more out of shape than a hardcore world of Warcraft gamer. It turned out he was full of poo poo after someone pulled his records to which the only schooling the had been to was 11B OSUT, "nothing follows. He apparently pulled the same thing when he PCS'd after his first duty station and was on his 3rd attempt for PFC. So the interesting story is, prior to deploying to Iraq he was known to head north of Kansas City to Offutt air Force Base in class A uniforms fully decked out wearing captain rank and would walk around the PX parking lot and when enlisted airment wouldn't salute him he would have them stand at the position of attention and berate them/order them to do push-ups. I guess at some point and air Force captain called him out and was like "why the gently caress is this army dude smoking air Force people on an airforce base, and essentially he was outed. During his time in Iraq he ended up working in some admin ish type roll where he mentioned to my squad leader that he "felt like he was having a breakdown and might hurt someone or himself" to which he immediately snagged pv2/1's rifle and gave it to some admin dude and was like "if he does anything dangerous either buttstroke him to the head or shoot him" to which the said other admin guy was like "what in the gently caress......" And essentially was suicide watch guy with a gun... He was apparently sent home from Iraq in like 36-48 hours or some poo poo. He was then known to occasionally frequent Wichita bars in the aforementioned class A captains uniform telling war stories about how he saved an entire convoy from sheer destruction due to his ultimate hooahness. God bless Nice and hot piss fucked around with this message at 13:02 on Apr 26, 2018 |
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Apr 26, 2018 12:59
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Nice and hot piss posted:So the interesting story is, prior to deploying to Iraq he was known to head north of Kansas City to Offutt air Force Base in class A uniforms fully decked out wearing captain rank and would walk around the PX parking lot and when enlisted airment wouldn't salute him he would have them stand at the position of attention and berate them/order them to do push-ups. I guess at some point and air Force captain called him out and was like "why the gently caress is this army dude smoking air Force people on an airforce base, and essentially he was outed. Wrong thread, this man is a genius.
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Apr 26, 2018 15:37
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Eugene V. Dubstep posted:Wrong thread, this man is a genius. Nice and hot piss posted:
🤔
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Apr 26, 2018 15:43
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If anyone shows up as an E2 from anywhere other than AIT you might as well start getting the chapter paperwork ready, imo
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Apr 26, 2018 15:54
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