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Snowdens Secret posted:We had a dude take out a something like $4K personal loan from NFCU for a new computer and then blow it all on a single stripper over the course of a weekend Definitely. Mine is about a fellow Infantry 2LT at IOBC with me in 2007-08. This kid was your perfect pencil-necked geek, about 5'6" and 135 lb if he was lucky. His name, which I'll refrain from revealing, basically was "littledick" so we'll call him Littledick. He would fall out of ruck marches within 100 meters of stepping off, no poo poo. He wore thick glasses, had an awful loving high-n-tight, and talked in a nasally, nerdy voice. But he hated video games and called me a "nerd" because I was playing Call of Duty 4 at the time. Anyway, so Littledick takes a trip to New Orleans for one of our 4-day weekends, and goes to some high-class strip club in the French Quarter. He gets in a VIP room with some supposedly gorgeous stripper (other guys with good taste who were there confirmed) and spent literally his entire paycheck for that two-week period on her. I think at that point in our time in service it was about 1600-1800 bucks. As if all that wasn't bad enough, he was completely unrepentant about it and bragged about all the complimentary things she said to him. This is how our conversation went.  Littledick, how in the gently caress did you spend 1800 bones on a motherfucking stripper? : Dude, she was hot as hell! Who gives a gently caress, she's a stripper! She didn't even suck your dick or anything! I don't care, this woman was gorgeous. She liked me, too. No, no she didn't Littledick, they say that poo poo so stupid fucks like you will spend entire O-1 paychecks on them how are you so dumb. Yes she did! She told me that I was handsome and that she wanted to run away with me and get married and that my last name was definitely not accurate heh heh. Littledick oh my god you are so loving stupid... *stupid loving grin*iyaayas01 posted:I mean, for gently caress's sake, the big "reveal" at the end of her book is that the aliens at Roswell were Soviet midgets genetically engineered to look like aliens by former Nazi scientists for Stalin that Stalin intentionally crash-landed in a flying saucer of Soviet design in an attempt to spook the U.S. and that this would somehow impact the Cold War because...? Note: I am not exaggerating or making up any of that last bit, that is all legitimately in her book...just one of the many reasons I think her book is garbage. 
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Dec 4, 2012 14:38
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 14:13 |
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It's called R&S now pls keep up with doctrine tia   But for real that's a great story, and the INS do indeed have some stupid loving morons in their ranks.
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Dec 4, 2012 17:54
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iyaayas01 posted:Also possibly from a Middle Eastern Gulf state...that whole "gently caress it, it's just money and I've got a shitload of that" mentality just smacks of an officer from the UAE or Saudi or somewhere similar. Has anyone else here had the extreme misfortune of working with Saudi or other Persian Gulf military officers? Biggest shitbags ever. I totally believe them doing poo poo like burying weapons and so on. At the MCCC in Benning we had a few Saudis and none of them did a drat thing during Battalion Week when everyone works together as a staff. gently caress those guys. 
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Dec 6, 2012 04:35
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psydude posted:yo, plz censor this opsec information thx That's only one TTP though. Our dudes were trained by our co-located ODA and would at least drive dirtbikes over the suspected spot, or drag a rake next to the bike. It actually worked surprisingly really well.
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Dec 21, 2012 20:21
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Shimazu posted:do whaaaaaat? I'm with you on this one. When I was an XO I had a PL cover up an ND (into a clearing barrel, which is a whole nother rant from me but anyway) of one of his dudes, and when it came out he got relieved. Still got another platoon in a different squadron after some rehab time in the 3-shop though. Then his replacement - no poo poo - ND'd himself into a clearing barrel about a week after taking over. He just got a letter of reprimand (local) from the squadron CDR. Then there was my company FSO when I was a PL. Kaliber remembers this exemplary officer. He was a giant tool just in general, and really good at making horrible decisions. He had this "hot" (not hot) German blonde girlfriend who my PSG wanted to gently caress really bad. So my PSG arranged to go out drinking with her one night on the second week of summer block leave. FSO got wind of it and the three went out together. FSO was the DD, but chose to instead get horribly wasted by drinking shot after shot of something. PSG decided to drive them home even though he was drunk too. They got pulled over by the Polezei outside a McDonald's, and FSO reacted by screaming at them and calling them Nazis, and saying "My granpa kiled Nazis in WWII, and I'm gonna kill some too!" He signed the police statement with a swastika instead of his name. A backwards swastika, to make things worse. FSO got reprimanded (GOMAR) and moved to the 3-shop. My PSG was a SSG and got busted down to SGT and relieved. He was a loving fantastic NCO, but obviously made some dumb choices in his personal life. He's doing well now, moved to Lewis and I think he's an SSG (P) now. A few weeks after this debacle, FSO got PRK. His stupid loving kraut gf was driving him around, and they bought gas on post. Because they're both loving idiots, they drove off without paying. Another GOMAR, and this time the general (JMRC CDR) decided to pull strings to make him nonpromotable. When I finally saw him again in Afghanistan after I had been a CPT for two months and he was still wearing 1LT bar despite being the same YG, I burst out laughing. I think he figured out at that point that I didn't like him. The last awesome thing I heard from him through a buddy is that he said "I can't wait to get out of the Army, I've always wanted to try heroin." He was apparently dead serious. He's outta the Army now, and sure enough never made it past 1LT. I have no idea what him and his retarded kraut wife (yup they got hitched) are doing now and I couldn't possibly give a gently caress.
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Dec 25, 2012 00:19
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Armyman25 posted:Never understood why they'd hem someone up for an ND into a clearing barrel. Isn't that what they're for? Yeah but if you actually shoot into one you're an idiot. Mr. Nice! posted:They're there to make sure an ND doesn't kill or wound someone. You're still a loving idiot and not following procedure at all if you ND into one. Right. If you're too loving dumb to actually clear your own weapon yourself before you pull the bolt back and let SGT So-And-So look at the chamber, then you deserve at least a LoC if nothing else. Drop the mag, pull the charging handle back, observe the round leave the chamber. If nothing comes out you take a deep breath and do it all again. This time really loving look in the chamber. It's not hard. Snowdens Secret posted:It sounds like one guy got his pecker slapped for ND'ing (which is dumb) and the other guy got far worse for a coverup/lying (which is a whole different kind of dumb) Pretty much exactly. I didn't disagree with any of it.
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Dec 25, 2012 01:46
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When I was at the 10th Mountain's mandatory 1SG and CDR's course and the DIV CDR came to talk to us, some dumbfuck - one a my peers of course - was all like "Hey sir, I have a great idea! Let's do a bring your wife to work day where they can wear uniforms and shoot guns and blah blah somebody please cut my dick off!" He also referred to his wife as "Household Six" which always makes me instantly hate whoever says it. MG Milley was like, "Not a bad idea, son, but that's a lot of work for the whole division to do at once and there are liability issues and whatnot. But we'll look into it!" The MAJ who was from the DIV G3 looked like he was gonna take a poo poo on the CPT's face. When Milley left the room the MAJ got in his face in front of everyone and said "Never, ever, ever loving suggest something like that to the division commander again. If he had bought into it, guess what? We'd have to plan it. And then it'd be mandatory for every single brigade and battalion. And then guess who would actually be planning it? You. I'll remember your name, don't worry. If you wanna do wife-day things, do it at your loving battalion."
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Dec 26, 2012 21:51
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Haha yup. My BN does it but calls it G.I. Jane day. The S3 hates it but the BC has a huge boner for it because his predecessor did it and the wives like it. Since it's just a BN function and it's totally voluntary for the wives I don't think it's such a bad thing. Some old (56!) former DSG runs it and enjoys doing it.
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Dec 26, 2012 22:01
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Snowdens Secret posted:Family shoot days are pretty fun, at least for the families. Never thought about the planning behind them. Nobody ever thinks about the poor AS3s  quote:Also stuff like that seems to be good opportunity for showboating / loving around. My dad went to a 'take your boss to work' Army reserves thing where they let people fire the howitzers and stuff and he loved it. They were riding back in a humvee and the driver thought it'd be cool to ford a little stream instead of crossing the bridge a few yards away; it turned out the water was much deeper than expected and while they didn't get stuck all the civilians in the humvee got soaked. I thought you were in the Navy though?
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Dec 26, 2012 22:18
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Snowdens Secret posted:I didn't take him, one of the guys who worked for him (and was in the Army reserves) took him for 'Bring your boss to work' day or something Ah, okay. Didn't read that "bring your boss to work" part right. Vasudus posted:They should make people at family day sit there in the company building at 0500 to draw weapons, then finally get to the range at noon, and fire one magazine before shutting it down. I want to actually do this. Although I've always gotten plenty of trigger time every range I've gone to, but I know we 11B/As get much more leeway and time on ranges for the most part.
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Dec 26, 2012 22:39
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AB posted:I'd be down with having an MP7. It's a pain in the dick getting in and out of a tank even with an M4. How about a P90 or that new Magpul space gun? The PDR.  Shoots 5.56 or whatever full rifle round.
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Dec 27, 2012 02:28
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not caring here posted:edit: ^^^ woah, some dickhead is totally gonna shoot their finger off with that thing. Hilarious. You'd think so, but plenty of agencies and even some furrin militaries use the P90 and there's isn't much more of a handguard on that thing, and I haven't heard any stories about people shooting their fingers off. But yeah, at least one dude will.
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Dec 27, 2012 02:36
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Oxford Comma posted:That photo isn't a P90, though. Its some goofy Magpul gun. The P90 is a pretty neat little gun, and if I wasn't living in Cali I'd probably buy the civilian version of it because I'm a retard. Yeah, I know it's the PDR because I posted it saying "this is the Magpul PDR." I was comparing the P90 for length and layout, since it's quite similar. I used to have a PS90 myself, since I'm also a retard. I sold it before moving to Germany, which I wish I didn't do. I have a number of friends who would have happily kept it for me, including friends in NY where the 50-rd magazine is horribly illegal. Live and learn I guess. quote:Also, that Beretta CX4 is a fun gun for plinking but it probably wouldn't be something I'd want to take to combat with me. Really, I think an MP5 or something would be the best bet for a tankers gun. The gun they're talking about is the military version, the Mx4. It's select fire, so it's not all that different from the MP5 in terms of capabilities. I've never fired one (but I have fired the MP5) but I assume the rifle-like layout reduces recoil, and since it feeds through the grip that gives you more barrel length in a similar overall package. I'd still rather have a P90 or something like the PDR, since both are harder-hitting than a 9mm (and yes this is actually a thing) and the P90 has that insane ammo capacity.
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Dec 27, 2012 17:38
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The second week of my command, I was bullshitting with the 3rd PLT PSG in his office and noticed a photo on their corkboard. It's of a PVT in ACUs in front of a baggage carousel with his wife. He's got a Ranger tab over his 10th MTN patch, a CIB, airborne, and air assault badges. I started laughing at it until the PSG said: "Sir, that guy's here." Me: "Haha, like here at Drum?" PSG: "No, like here in this platoon." I stopped laughing and told him to send the kid to my office. He was standing there at parade rest in front of my desk, literally shaking. I told him how loving stupid it was to put all that poo poo on his uniform and what a terrible first impression that is to his new commander. He said he understood and didn't know why he thought that was a good idea and so on. He's actually been a pretty decent soldier since then. But seriously, why the gently caress do some kids do poo poo like that?
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Jan 31, 2013 22:09
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Mike-o posted:Now I feel like a douche. I've got an "Afghanistan Vet" sticker on my truck, hang my infantry blue chord on my mirror, and wear my fleece cap when it's cold outside. I also will discuss crap about the army if someone asks me. It's actually ok to not feel bad about what you do for a living and talk to other people about it if they're interested. People do it all the time all over the world in such diverse professions as IT guy, lumberjack, or even fluffer. I don't hang my blue cord anywhere but on my ASUs, but if I can't find my Devils beanie I might grab a fleece cap in a pinch to shovel snow or run in the cold off duty or whatever. And I do have a 10th Mountain sticker on my rear window, opposite corner from my 2013 NY State Trooper PBA sticker, and for the same reason. Martello fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Feb 1, 2013 |
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Feb 1, 2013 06:17
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Arishtat posted:Using your old Army issue poo poo because it fits the need is perfectly okay. Exactly
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Feb 1, 2013 16:22
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genderstomper58 posted:Why do people with fat faces + high and tights increase the hilarity of that already terrible haircut by a factor of 10 Just got back from JRTC. When we were doing our big stupid gay formation to get on the plane at Alexandria, there was a loving fatass SPC from BSTB (commo or some such) with a high n tight and a loving high school science teacher/child molester mustache. I informed all the dudes that there's a simple test to see if you should have a mustache. Question 1. Are you Tom Selleck? If yes, proceed. If no, shave that loving poo poo off your lip and then smoke yourself.
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Feb 1, 2013 22:03
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vulturesrow posted:Deployment mustaches are a whole other category. So you're good. Picture this as an emptyquote
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Feb 2, 2013 01:40
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I wish I had any idea what any of that meant.
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Feb 5, 2013 05:19
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GD_American posted:We don't talk like we're in a pirate movie Yeah the "chit" thing was one of my biggest issues. Also don't know what "hit" means when it isn't your fist going into a dude's face or a bullet or like one of my people killing another one with a tommy gun.
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Feb 5, 2013 05:59
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vulturesrow posted:I spent almost a year working pretty closely with Army peeps and if I ever hear the word HUA again it will be way too loving soon. When I was at JRTC last week, one of my E4s outta the blue said, "Sir, you look like a man who hates the word 'hoo-ah.'" I said, "loving right I hate it, how did you know?" Nobody's allowed to say it in my company now, officially.
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Feb 5, 2013 06:22
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I love when Navy and Marines talk about decks and bulkheads in concrete buildings in the middle of a desert.
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Feb 5, 2013 16:37
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Some West Pointer once told me that, according to the regs, if you're walking up next to a superior officer going the same direction and want to pass him, you have to say "by your leave, Sir" and wait for him to say "carry on" or some poo poo before you actually pass him. I've never, ever, ever done that. If an LT tried that on me, I'd probably trip him.
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Feb 6, 2013 16:12
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I realized nobody ever told me which reg that's supposed to be from, so I looked around. It's not in 600-25, which has most of the salute stuff in there, so I'm not sure where it would be. But a google search came up with this: http://www.cdc.gov/od/occp/officership/protocol_ppt.htm My favorite part is "no such thing as a military 'hat'" God we're stupid with that kind of poo poo. "It's not a gun, it's a weapon! It's a cover, not a hat! Or a patrol cap!" gently caress all of that nonsense. Who the gently caress decides that certain words are arbitrarily "unprofessional" anyway? What's the loving difference between "cap" and "hat?" And using "cover" doesn't even make sense, it's the most nonspecific word I can think of. Martello fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Feb 6, 2013 |
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Feb 6, 2013 17:07
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Stultus Maximus posted:I don't know about anyone else, but the "it's not a gun" in the Navy is because in naval tradition "gun" refers to naval artillery. Yeah, it's the same with us, but with tank guns, artillery, and machine guns. But it's still loving stupid. In my PLT calling the M4 a gun was like a rule, along with saying bullets instead of rounds or cartridges. IDR posted:It's TRADITION you gently caress head, you're letting down the entire warrior spirit of my beloved CORPS! You're right, I better go smoke myself. Phanatic posted:Dead link for me, but even so I think it's great that the Centers for Disease Control even has a page like that. I hosed up the url, just remove the . at the end if you wanna see it.
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Feb 6, 2013 17:37
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Holy poo poo dude, that makes the horrible commander I've mentioned before (the one Kaliber served under too) sound like Captain America in comparison.Icon Of Sin posted:When soldiers asked "why do we stay until 9PM every night (including Fridays, where the CG says we are supposed to be gone by 3)? We want to go home and see our families." his response was along the lines of "Block leave is for seeing your families, otherwise we are staying here to continue training." (someone called IG on him for this one and his tone quickly changed) This is my favorite, because it pisses me off more than any other stupid thing a commander can do in garrison. For gently caress's sake, let your guys go loving home to their motherfucking families! There's almost never anything important enough to keep dudes past 1700 if you aren't in the field. Holy loving poo poo that kind of bullshit makes me mad. It's always a stupid loving CPT with a huge ego trip who needs to be at the company AT ALL TIMES to feel important, or an rear end in a top hat who doesn't get along with his wife.
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Feb 6, 2013 17:46
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One of my favorite stupid things when I was in Afghanistan: those mass emails from the KAF (or BAF most likely) listservs saying "M16 serno W99805 missing. If found, please report to blah blah blah." Two days later: "M16 serno W99805 found on top of washing machine in BLDG 21451095A on All-American Boulevard." Usually seemed to be POGs, since it was almost always an M16.
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Feb 7, 2013 04:07
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Well to be fair you do have a My Little Pony avatar.
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Feb 7, 2013 19:28
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Mortabis posted:Oh christ, those stupid loving things. Haha holy poo poo I didn't read this before because it was long plus the words "tl;dr" and "cadet." You realize that room clearing is an irl thing that irl infantry do in irl urban combat, right? It also works. Yeah, tossing a grenade in or destroying the building from the outside is easier and more effective, but there are plenty of situations where you can't do that. Regardless of how gay and "high-speed" those ranger whatever cadets are, you're the idiot in this story, dude.
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Feb 7, 2013 21:37
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Vasudus posted:Do Infantry officers even participate in room clearance? I mean, when we cleared poo poo as 21Bs the LT was always commanding, not being some schmuck in a stack. Each individual unit always has their own SOP for clearance yeah, but I have no idea if in training they have 11As involved in the actually process. Yes. During IOBC we did it a lot. During STX and also many runs through an actual 360 shoot house. In actual combat, no, a PL probably wouldn't be in a stack. But he should be able to jump into one easily if he needs to, and he needs to know exactly how it works so he can train his men and also plan missions, training or real-world.
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Feb 8, 2013 02:19
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Always been interested in the Swiss military, especially the taking home Stg's part. So yeah, I'd definitely read that.
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Feb 13, 2013 02:30
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Feb 25, 2013 14:08
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I have a SSG Josh who's a pretty squared-away dude despite having a crushed sternum. Apparently a lot of people from the Midwest have that.
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Feb 27, 2013 16:32
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How the gently caress does a sovereign citizen weirdo join the Army, where you have fewer rights than regular people even?
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Mar 7, 2013 19:11
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genderstomper58 posted:According to AFN commercials, mil members actually have more rights The right to party. Normally you have to fight for that.
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Mar 7, 2013 21:41
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2/2SCR went to Bulgaria for a mini-MRE. It was loving awesome, at least as a PL. We did STX, LFX, everything, and we actually had open ground to drive Strykers all over the place as well as hills and trees to hide in, and urban areas to do MOUT. The MWR trips to Burgas and Sunny Beach were also legit. More big tits and cameltoe than I've seen anywhere else put together. Not sure if cameltoe is a good thing but it was at least intriguing. Sunny Beach is where some of my dudes banged those forest hookers. Kaliber knows all about it, although he didn't bang 'em.
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Mar 27, 2013 15:44
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LEGIT WAR CRIMINAL posted:Well I guess it was more of a roadside hooker that I banged in the forest next to the road after parking the NTV in there. We were ADVON and me and another dude were going around and checking out the training area, saw a surprisingly legitimately good looking hooker as we drove down the road and figured hey why not. From what the Bulgarians said I overpaid by paying 5 Euros but w/e, 9/10 would do again. Those are a different breed. We had guys see them too but nobody banged any as far as I know. Sunny Beach literally has a red-light district in the surrounding forest. Hookers standing next to their assigned trees, with little crates of condoms and other equipment.
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Mar 27, 2013 17:50
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KetTarma posted:
Real as it gets. I dunno if Kaliber checks this thread but like I said, he saw them too as far as I can remember. I wish I had gotten a hold of the photo one of my dudes took of another dude posting with the forest hooker. The one he'd just hosed. Weirdest part? She was pretty hot.
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Mar 27, 2013 18:48
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Haha What is Pte? And I'm guessing  is the female enlisted in this story.
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Apr 18, 2013 13:33
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 14:13 |
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In Vilseck the RSS (Regimental Support Squadron) barracks are all up on this hill behind 1st Squadron. Yes, we called it Whore Hill.
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Apr 19, 2013 00:56
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