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MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
As an emissary from ADTRW, my expert opinion is this game is too anime by a factor of two too many gratuitous Japanese phrases.

and shinigami would be magical girls

not tagers

{this is an interest post}

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MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
I'm out of Cat Jail, give me a day or two to make something.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Anna Asagiri: MGPI



High Concept Magical Girl Private Eye
Invoke: To do private eye things, to do magical girl things; poo poo, this is pretty obvious.
Compel: To make her life noir protagonist terrible, to be mocked for or hampered by being magical, a teenage girl, a private dick, or some combination of the three.

Trouble: Little Miss Loose Cannon
Invoke: To do some Dirty Harry poo poo, to freak out Nic Cage in Bad Lieutenant style
Compel: To do either of the Invokes when it would be very inconvenient to do so

Background:
"You wanna know something funny? I love tokusatsu shows. Hey, just 'cause I said it was funny doesn't mean you can laugh, no-neck. Keep it up and you'll be laughing all the way to hell.

As I was saying. When I was a kid, well, more of a kid, I grew up on all that Ultrarider, Kamenman, Super Sentai horsecrap. It's the reason I'm in this crummy business; stuff rotted my brain enough I thought there was some real good in this world. Thought that the line was clear, black and white. Thought that the good guys always beat the bad guys and justice always prevailed. All of that is bullshit. Folks didn't beat that baloney out of my head but not for lack of trying; I saw the ignominy of justice firsthand. My pop's a private dick, sharpest tool in the TMPD but had to slum it as a traffic cop for years 'cause he got too close to the fire. GIA scooped him. I think he makes coffee for spooks now. It's worse on my mom's side; she was Magical*Miracle Misato-tan.

Wait, poo poo, Misato-Mama; she used having me as a "reinvention". Magical Girls are hungry for publicity, idols with messy severance packages. Real messy. Funny thing about the Mag Girl biz, once you grow tits they stop calling you -tan. It's a long, slow slide into puberty and obscurity as a Mag; first they call you -chan, then -nee, then some frou-frou bastard stage name like MiMi or Mami or CueTi, then they leave you rear end out and suffixless. Doesn't matter how many people you save, how many fires you put out, how close you get to madness. Once you're no longer marketable jailbait, you're done. Unless you come up with a gimmick.

Mom had Misato-Mama. I've got Anna Asagiri: MGPI."

Background Aspect: Seigi no Mikata
Invoke: To hunt down punks and criminals with burning JUSTICE~!
Compel: To do the Invoke when it would be very inconvenient to do so, to hate herself for not living up to TV kid show moral infallibility.


Yomikiri:
"The first thing you need to know about Magical Girls is that most are minor psychs. They get a little bit of spoon-bending and a little too much anime and they start thinking they're beautiful warriors of love and justice. Lot of those don't last too long; they piss off the wrong person or thing and disappear. Some of 'em grow out of it around college, treat the whole thing like some eight grader disease. A couple push too hard and just snap. Some as young as ten left staring beyond the veil until you close their eyes for good. Dead porcelain eyes, like a goddamned doll.

You get a couple of vigilante nuts or designer babies with layaway brains looking for trouble. Darwin claims those pretty quick, but they always cause a hell of a mess. Neo-Saitama got shut down when some girls fought over turf. Tried to cordon off the area with plasteel and a big ganguro broad put holes in it. Just stuck her hands into the stuff, tore off a chunk and beat another girl stupid with it until it broke. Lather, rinse, repeat. Hell of a thing to see at 14 working your first beat. Hell of a thing to realize you could do, if you gave a drat.

Me? I'm one of the lucky few "pure" Magical Girls. As in a girl who is magical in nature. It's not nice magic, but it works. Got it from my mom, who got it from a dusty tome in her grandmother's attic. It's on the OOI's shitlist now, Codex Liquifeo or something. Came with an imp from the Dreamlands; its real name sounds like choking on your own lifesblood so I call it QT. I am not the most clever of people. It gave me the standard spiel, same as my mom: sign the deal, spill the blood, sell your soul, save the world. Being young and stupid, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I could finally be the hero I saw on TV. Imagine being given the chance to fulfill your deepest desire as a kid, like fly a spaceship or turn into a dog or whatever. If you can sit here and tell me you wouldn't do what I did then I'll sit here and tell you you're full of poo poo.

Yeah, you. Ain't nobody else in the bar, is there? You're full of poo poo.

ANYWAY, I'm thrown out there, no training, no clue, full of piss and vinegar. Break up a few disputes, stop a few minor horrors. I was smart and I had connects, so I started doing the kid detective thing. Did police work on the side as a "Adolescent Paranormal Affairs Consultant". Actually outranked my dad for a little bit. Got a rep as a loose cannon since my adolescent awkwardness translated into a decent little bloodlust. Didn't let that faze me. Hooked up with some other mags, real good people. The MG5, we called ourselves. We fuckin' ran Uminari. I had respect, I had a squad, I had friends.

All that's gone. Six feet. All I've got now is a gun, a badge and some booze. And pills. Lots of pills."

Yomikiri Aspect: Vice Gripped
Invoke: To face down horrors with Dutch Courage, to get something from the seedy underbelly of the world
Compel: To drive her to drink, drugs, and/or (self)-destructive behavior

OVA:
"Fast forward. I'm in this juke joint in Chicago, trying to convince the bartender I'm of age, right? And in walks this moll. Gorgeous, in the way that makes you feel uglier just being in her presence. She's staring right at me, so I feel even worse. And she says, I'm not making this up, 'I need a dick'. Middle of the bar, loud enough for every lunkhead to hear. So of course she gets the third degree by every cock fit to crow. She's obviously uncomfortable and obviously from out of town, so I decide to help her out. Shoulda kept to myself, but my drat seigi no mikata started flaring up. I kneecap one lech that's a second away from working her over like tentacles in the weird stuff. Before anyone can pop off, I give them a peek at my little golden friend. They simmer down right quick.

I introduce myself to the lady, business card and all. When you look like I look, you make sure you do things like a professional. She smiled and gave me her name. Couldn't remember it. Called her Pinkie. She had pink hair at the time (I was zooted at the time) so it made sense. She took me outside, gave me an address and told me a sob story about a mysterious artifact. An opal stone, big as a quarter. Said it was lucky, that it kept her alive on these mean streets. Before I could press her for info she vanished. Straight up Houdinied. I was high enough for anything to be possible but it still didn't make sense.

That was my cue to call it a night, so I hailed a cab. Arab driver. Told him my address and not to make small talk. He made small talk. Went on and on about fate and luck, how we're all puppets in some grand game played by blind idiots. Sounded like cultist copy so I told him to stuff it, no small talk. He went dead silent, I mean dead loving silent. The kind of silent that makes its own sound. Few minutes later, he pulled over and told me this was my stop. It was the old meatpacking district. I live in Hyde Park. At this point, I'm getting heated. I'm in the cabbie's face, yelling and screaming and he keeps repeating 'This is the right place, this is your destination'. I'm about to pull out my piece and he peels out. Have half a mind to just lick shots, get it out of my system, but when I go for my gun I pull out my card. With Pinkie's address on it. I look up and that's where I am.

Now when I get there, I end up stumbling on a CoC cell. Regular freak soiree, with sacrifices and everything. I'd been looking for the bastards, DoA, ever since I ended up in Chicago. Naturally, I go in guns blazing; there were no Doughboys and nobody'll miss these fucks. Besides, you gotta grease a few to show you mean business. So I'm going to work, got my badass growl on, nice and blissed out on whisky and painkillers; everything's going aces. One of them's mouthing something that sober me would've blown his brains out for. Zooted me was too busy trying to get the high score in Whack-a-Cultist. I hear this inhuman shriek and a wet, tearing noise. My chest went cold, my body went numb. Mushmouth had stolen my heart and crushed it in his hand. Last thing I remember is pink.

I wake up next morning in my bed, hung over and freaking out. I clutch my chest. Nothing. I'm about to write the whole night off as a bad trip until I notice a letter on my nightstand, sealed with a kiss. It's from Pinkie, an opal choker and two words. 'Thank you.' When I put the thing on, I feel it beat like a second heart. Those in the know call it the Black Cat's Eye; I call it a second life. I've been shot, stabbed, set on fire and left to die. I'm still here. I never take the thing off. Never want to. They'll have to cut my head off if they want it.

Ever since that day, my luck's been terrible. Garbage falls on me, I've rolled snake eyes in Craps more times than is humanly possible, if a hoverbuggy has a screwy exhaust I'll get drenched with the runoff. Everybody at the precinct wants to play cards with me 'cause I always get the worst hands. When it's crunch time, though? Might as well be Irish."

OVA Aspect: Black Cat Strut
Compel: To have her luck turn to poo poo, to get taken out gruesomely
Invoke: To make other people's luck turn to poo poo, to miraculously survive


Skills:
+5: Investigation, Magical Girl
+4: Will, Guns
+3: Alertness, Lore
+2: Contacts, Empathy
+1: Intimidation, Systems

Magical Girl: Casting base. Gives her a little extra pep in her step for physical work; she'd be completely out of shape if it weren't for the magic keeping her fit. Knows how to work crowds and play dumb.


Stunts:
Quick Eye [-1]
Pin Them Down [-1]

Powers:
Supernatural Recovery [-4]
Catch: Not wearing the Black Cat's Eye (+2 easy to fulfill, +1 esoteric knowledge) [+3]
Sponsored Magic: The Dreamlands [-4]

Stress:
Physical: ()()
Mental: ()()()()
Social: ()()

Refresh: 1/8

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
You wanted it Ettin; you can't un-want it.

Anna Asagiri: MGPI



High Concept Magical Girl Private Eye
Invoke: To do private eye things, to do magical girl things; poo poo, this is pretty obvious.
Compel: To make her life noir protagonist terrible, to be mocked for or hampered by being magical, a teenage girl, a private dick, or some combination of the three.

Trouble: Little Miss Loose Cannon
Invoke: To do some Dirty Harry poo poo, to freak out Nic Cage in Bad Lieutenant style
Compel: To do either of the Invokes when it would be very inconvenient to do so

Background:
"You wanna know something funny? I love tokusatsu shows. Hey, just 'cause I said it was funny doesn't mean you can laugh, no-neck. Keep it up and you'll be laughing all the way to hell.

As I was saying. When I was a kid, well, more of a kid, I grew up on all that Ultrarider, Kamenman, Super Sentai horsecrap. It's the reason I'm in this crummy business; stuff rotted my brain enough I thought there was some real good in this world. Thought that the line was clear, black and white. Thought that the good guys always beat the bad guys and justice always prevailed. All of that is bullshit. Folks didn't beat that baloney out of my head but not for lack of trying; I saw the ignominy of justice firsthand. My pop's a private dick, sharpest tool in the TMPD but had to slum it as a traffic cop for years 'cause he got too close to the fire. GIA scooped him. I think he makes coffee for spooks now. It's worse on my mom's side; she was Magical*Miracle Misato-tan.

Wait, poo poo, Misato-Mama; she used having me as a "reinvention". Magical Girls are hungry for publicity, idols with messy severance packages. Real messy. Funny thing about the Mag Girl biz, once you grow tits they stop calling you -tan. It's a long, slow slide into puberty and obscurity as a Mag; first they call you -chan, then -nee, then some frou-frou bastard stage name like MiMi or Mami or CueTi, then they leave you rear end out and suffixless. Doesn't matter how many people you save, how many fires you put out, how close you get to madness. Once you're no longer marketable jailbait, you're done. Unless you come up with a gimmick.

Mom had Misato-Mama. I've got Anna Asagiri: MGPI."

Background Aspect: Seigi no Mikata
Invoke: To hunt down punks and criminals with burning JUSTICE~!
Compel: To do the Invoke when it would be very inconvenient to do so, to hate herself for not living up to TV kid show moral infallibility.


Yomikiri:
"The first thing you need to know about Magical Girls is that most are minor psychs. They get a little bit of spoon-bending and a little too much anime and they start thinking they're beautiful warriors of love and justice. Lot of those don't last too long; they piss off the wrong person or thing and disappear. Some of 'em grow out of it around college, treat the whole thing like some eight grader disease. A couple push too hard and just snap. Some as young as ten left staring beyond the veil until you close their eyes for good. Dead porcelain eyes, like a goddamned doll.

You get a couple of vigilante nuts or designer babies with layaway brains looking for trouble. Darwin claims those pretty quick, but they always cause a hell of a mess. Neo-Saitama got shut down when some girls fought over turf. Tried to cordon off the area with plasteel and a big ganguro broad put holes in it. Just stuck her hands into the stuff, tore off a chunk and beat another girl stupid with it until it broke. Lather, rinse, repeat. Hell of a thing to see at 14 working your first beat. Hell of a thing to realize you could do, if you gave a drat.

Me? I'm one of the lucky few "pure" Magical Girls. As in a girl who is magical in nature. It's not nice magic, but it works. Got it from my mom, who got it from a dusty tome in her grandmother's attic. It's on the OOI's shitlist now, Codex Liquifeo or something. Came with an imp from the Dreamlands; its real name sounds like choking on your own lifesblood so I call it QT. I am not the most clever of people. It gave me the standard spiel, same as my mom: sign the deal, spill the blood, sell your soul, save the world. Being young and stupid, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I could finally be the hero I saw on TV. Imagine being given the chance to fulfill your deepest desire as a kid, like fly a spaceship or turn into a dog or whatever. If you can sit here and tell me you wouldn't do what I did then I'll sit here and tell you you're full of poo poo.

Yeah, you. Ain't nobody else in the bar, is there? You're full of poo poo.

ANYWAY, I'm thrown out there, no training, no clue, full of piss and vinegar. Break up a few disputes, stop a few minor horrors. I was smart and I had connects, so I started doing the kid detective thing. Did police work on the side as a "Adolescent Paranormal Affairs Consultant". Actually outranked my dad for a little bit. Got a rep as a loose cannon since my adolescent awkwardness translated into a decent little bloodlust. Didn't let that faze me. Hooked up with some other mags, real good people. The MG5, we called ourselves. We fuckin' ran Uminari. I had respect, I had a squad, I had friends.

All that's gone. Six feet. All I've got now is a gun, a badge and some booze. And pills. Lots of pills."

Yomikiri Aspect: Vice Gripped
Invoke: To face down horrors with Dutch Courage, to get something from the seedy underbelly of the world
Compel: To drive her to drink, drugs, and/or (self)-destructive behavior

OVA:
"Fast forward. I'm in this juke joint in Chicago, trying to convince the bartender I'm of age, right? And in walks this moll. Gorgeous, in the way that makes you feel uglier just being in her presence. She's staring right at me, so I feel even worse. And she says, I'm not making this up, 'I need a dick'. Middle of the bar, loud enough for every lunkhead to hear. So of course she gets the third degree by every cock fit to crow. She's obviously uncomfortable and obviously from out of town, so I decide to help her out. Shoulda kept to myself, but my drat seigi no mikata started flaring up. I kneecap one lech that's a second away from working her over like tentacles in the weird stuff. Before anyone can pop off, I give them a peek at my little golden friend. They simmer down right quick.

I introduce myself to the lady, business card and all. When you look like I look, you make sure you do things like a professional. She smiled and gave me her name. Couldn't remember it. Called her Pinkie. She had pink hair at the time (I was zooted at the time) so it made sense. She took me outside, gave me an address and told me a sob story about a mysterious artifact. An opal stone, big as a quarter. Said it was lucky, that it kept her alive on these mean streets. Before I could press her for info she vanished. Straight up Houdinied. I was high enough for anything to be possible but it still didn't make sense.

That was my cue to call it a night, so I hailed a cab. Arab driver. Told him my address and not to make small talk. He made small talk. Went on and on about fate and luck, how we're all puppets in some grand game played by blind idiots. Sounded like cultist copy so I told him to stuff it, no small talk. He went dead silent, I mean dead loving silent. The kind of silent that makes its own sound. Few minutes later, he pulled over and told me this was my stop. It was the old meatpacking district. I live in Hyde Park. At this point, I'm getting heated. I'm in the cabbie's face, yelling and screaming and he keeps repeating 'This is the right place, this is your destination'. I'm about to pull out my piece and he peels out. Have half a mind to just lick shots, get it out of my system, but when I go for my gun I pull out my card. With Pinkie's address on it. I look up and that's where I am.

Now when I get there, I end up stumbling on a CoC cell. Regular freak soiree, with sacrifices and everything. I'd been looking for the bastards, DoA, ever since I ended up in Chicago. Naturally, I go in guns blazing; there were no Doughboys and nobody'll miss these fucks. Besides, you gotta grease a few to show you mean business. So I'm going to work, got my badass growl on, nice and blissed out on whisky and painkillers; everything's going aces. One of them's mouthing something that sober me would've blown his brains out for. Zooted me was too busy trying to get the high score in Whack-a-Cultist. I hear this inhuman shriek and a wet, tearing noise. My chest went cold, my body went numb. Mushmouth had stolen my heart and crushed it in his hand. Last thing I remember is pink.

I wake up next morning in my bed, hung over and freaking out. I clutch my chest. Nothing. I'm about to write the whole night off as a bad trip until I notice a letter on my nightstand, sealed with a kiss. It's from Pinkie, an opal choker and two words. 'Thank you.' When I put the thing on, I feel it beat like a second heart. Those in the know call it the Black Cat's Eye; I call it a second life. I've been shot, stabbed, set on fire and left to die. I'm still here. I never take the thing off. Never want to. They'll have to cut my head off if they want it.

Ever since that day, my luck's been terrible. Garbage falls on me, I've rolled snake eyes in Craps more times than is humanly possible, if a hoverbuggy has a screwy exhaust I'll get drenched with the runoff. Everybody at the precinct wants to play cards with me 'cause I always get the worst hands. When it's crunch time, though? Might as well be Irish."

OVA Aspect: Black Cat Strut
Compel: To have her luck turn to poo poo, to get taken out gruesomely
Invoke: To make other people's luck turn to poo poo, to miraculously survive


Skills:
+5: Investigation, Magical Girl
+4: Will, Guns
+3: Alertness, Lore
+2: Contacts, Empathy
+1: Intimidation, Systems

Magical Girl: Casting base. Gives her a little extra pep in her step for physical work; she'd be completely out of shape if it weren't for the magic keeping her fit. Knows how to work crowds and play dumb. Subs for Athletics/Physique/Fists when given hard drugs or time to ~*transform*~. Subs for Rapport, Presence or Deceit (GM's choice), but requires her to act like a cutesy magical girl for it.


Stunts:
Quick Eye [-1]
Pin Them Down [-1]

Powers:
Supernatural Recovery [-4]
Catch: Not wearing the Black Cat's Eye (+2 easy to fulfill, +1 esoteric knowledge) [+3]
Sponsored Magic: The Dreamlands [-4]

Stress:
Physical: ()()
Mental: ()()()()
Social: ()()

Refresh: 1/8

e: My Magical Girl tag is frustratingly vague for actually doing stuff. Fixed it.

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 23:30 on May 2, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
I'm okay with Miami, because that means strange phonecalls asking Anna if she likes hurting people. Also we could re-enact Bad Boys II with girls. Or New Orleans, since we are all bad lieutenants.

e: For real, between Salaryman-man, Stella Austin, Florida Man, PMC and Max Meguca, Military-Industrial is a cop movie cast made entirely of bad cops. Anna's the youngest member of the team and already she's too old for this poo poo.

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Apr 9, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Comrade Gorbash posted:

Screw Miami. Miami stinks. You guys should go to Havana. For game purposes, it's like Miami but better in every way.

Not for the Goony ex-PMC it isn't :v:

And Miami is the best game place because it stinks so bad. You're not even a part of our merry band of miscreants, away with you.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Gorbash, do you live/have you lived in Florida or did it merely touch you in your no-no spot? Because you are adamant about something ultimately inconsequential to you.

There's an obvious tie-in between Maria and Murasaki's OVAs and killing a whole bunch of CoC mooks fits nicely with Anna's OVA style.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Work's been hell, sorry for not keeping up. I'll pay Espinoza back and guest star in Maria's, and Shiro can take the second Black Cat Strut spot.

E: When on doubt, do a prologue. Like Anna went to get kitted out from Ando, or wrecked a shipment or the CoC fucks had commandeered a warehouse what was important to ExoCute.

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Apr 11, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Anna Asagiri Guest Stars in: Better Living Through Market Research

"Funny story; I tried out for the JDF once. Made top five, too, before the whole thing went to poo poo. Yeah, they hold tryouts for those sorts of things; one part talent show, one part Battle Royale. Take a bunch of Mags to a fabulous location for an all-expenses paid tour of duty. All broadcasted, of course; underage girls and wanton destruction are like catnip to viewers. Beats variety shows, I guess.

Anyway, I'm all pigtails and butterflies, throwing up in my little barf bag on the boat ride. I'm being hyped up and down: generational talent, member of the MG5, junior detective, all that. I'm like 13 and barely a year out of a hikki phase. No pressure. They got me with a bunch of bush league talent, blissfully unaware of what's to come. Everybody's chatting and giggling and gossiping like it's a school trip.

Most of 'em are dead now. I did at least one."

[silence, sound of refilling and rapidly draining glass]

"We get to the resort island and get molested by cameras. I'm on anti-anxes so everything is beautiful. I'm all smile and wave do the cute nerd girl thing. I'm working the crowd and some nerdlinger pulls me aside. Rattles off PR copy about me and about ExoCute. I'm about to blow him off when he starts talking about my dad. Now I'm interested; I try to grill him but he just hands me a .357 with his info on it. Second best gun I've ever had, next to this baby.

They give us the spiel: we get let loose randomly around the island and have to 'non-lethally' fight our way to the middle. Cliques started forming; I wasn't in one. Girls started dropping; I wasn't one. I was in my zone the whole time. When I'm in my zone, nothing can gently caress with me.

I'm a few hundred yards out before everything goes FUBAR. Apparently Mr. ExoCute wasn't the only one hawking big guns to little girls; KO wanted a slice and they wanted it bad. Started a loving firefight right in front of the goal. Thinking it was a part of the act, I did the whole name of the moon thing. One of the jackoffs shot me mid pose, so I beat him with a nailbat. I was a hosed up kid, alright? Don't judge me.

Now I'm covered in blood, screaming, seeing red, swinging at whatever comes near. Just straight up berserker rage. I was the last girl standing at this point, but the bastard judges DQed me. Something about being 'deeply disturbed' and 'highly unstable'. I swing until I physically can not hold the bat anymore, then go to town with the nearest object. ExoCute .50 Yagami SuperS. Gold finish. In that moment, with this gun, I had the hugest dick in Neo-Japan. And I still do.

Ever since that day, I've been a proud ExoCute customer. Have to get all that pink cutesy crap retouched, though."

Aspect: The Zone
Invoke: To perform when it's crunch time, to hyperfocus on a single task
Compel: To catch Whitman Fever, to get trapped in magical girl routine

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Apr 13, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Anna Asagiri guest stars in: Akuryou Taisan, Akuryou Taisan!

"I don't do bodyguard work. I'll do anything with my clothes on as long as it's not bodyguard work. Used to, when I was young and stupid. Younger, at least. Paid like poo poo, got treated like poo poo, saw a whole lot of poo poo. Bodyguard work is poo poo all around, but I did it. Most of the time I was just paid to stand around and look tough. You know how hard it is to look tough when you're an underfed Japanese girl? Nobody took me seriously until I built up a rep for being a loose cannon. Then nobody would hire me because I was a loose cannon. loving bullshit, man.

For a few months, I had to live on ramen and rotgut. I live on ramen and rotgut now, but that's by choice. When you have no other choice, it sucks. It sucks bad. If it weren't for my magic, I would've starved. So when I get the chance to protect some Hakurei labmonkey I jump on it. The hours were hell and the principal was a lolicon, but it paid good so I lived with it. The raid was a bonus; nothing relieves stress like justifiable murder.

Then the tentacles happened.

In my line of work, you develop a healthy fear of tentacles. Slimy, sticky, acidic bastards getting grabby like your drunk rear end in a top hat prom date. Worst part is, they like 'em young. Something about purity or hormones. Whatever it is, they bee-line for girls; the ones that aren't dumb masses of meat like to play with their food. Restrain 'em, pump 'em full of pheromones and mind-altering parasites, you know the rest. drat shame for the blonde working Arcano troubleshooter, they love blondes.

Lucky for her, I didn't want to get bullshitted out of my pay. I put myself between her and the tentacles and start unloading. She's working the seals, I'm spraying lead, everything's beautiful. We clean the place out, badda bing badda boom. I'm already imagining making it rain in the bar but I get jack poo poo. Suits dock my whole pay for 'collateral damage'. And that's why I don't do bodyguard work."

Aspect: Work Time Fun
Invoke: To complete a job even if it kills her, to pull useful trivia on magic, monsters and murder
Compel: To get screwed over by bureaucracy, for there to always be a catch, to refuse to do honest work

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Apr 14, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Since conservation of characters is always good and she's the Mafioso Godoka to Anna's hardboiled Homu, I'm claiming Pinkie from Black Cat Strut is Moretti.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Ettin posted:

Okay, just to be clear:

That is an actual gun. Kaiya just actually shot herself in the head in an actually lethal way.

I blame the Persona FATE games :suicide:

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Ettin posted:

I am one hundred percent in favour of NyarlathoTech fanart.


Next draw Mina vomiting on Madoka.

(please don't)

You wanted it, you can't un-want it. It exists somewhere now, on the half-full harddrive of some silent fan.

(but for real, don't do this)

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
If I haven't said it before, Florida Man and Salaryman Man are my favorite characters for anything ever.

And writing Danny-onii-chan makes me physically ill. The things I do for elfgames.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Ettin posted:

I'm gonna expand "No more jokes about tentacle rape" to cover jokes about date rape drugs and such too, I'm not going down that road.

That wasn't a joke: player paranoia and jumping to conclusions made me assume that Dennis had smuggled knockout donuts on the inside and this "party" never actually happened. I was honestly expecting to make a Physique test or something in a gotcha moment.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Can I do both? Take the keycard, snoop around a bit, then snatch the computer? Could I snatch it after I Nic Cage this fool?

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Oh poo poo, he's got the Beat glasses.

And I now understand who Dennis is supposed to be and hope Yatagarasu wasn't loving around with dragon or dinosaur DNA or something.

EDIT: Also, has he made like Jurassic Park yet? I don't want to hold up the plot waiting around to get my Nic Cage on.

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Apr 28, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
I need to work out what exactly Dreamlands magic does, don't I? I was imagining it working like vaguely horrifying magical girl stuff, so big beams, out of time colors, mind-dickery and the stuff a Dresdenverse wizard shouldn't do (body mods and time dickery).

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Ronwayne posted:

Body mods? You mean, like turning a person into a corpse?

In the Sayaka from Madoka Magica sense, yes. Anna doesn't need magic for the other kind. :v:

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
No time travel, just bullet time that turns into a six or seven second time stop if she pushes it. Max Payne meets Dio Brando. Although getting the Hounds of Tindalos sicced on us would be metal.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
You know what has to happen now, right Kai?

Molotov Fastball Special. We'll see if Anna is sufficiently drunk enough to cause a fuel/air explosion.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Kai Tave posted:

This is going to be one of those stories that starts with "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Or: "The magical girl was on fire, and it wasn't her fault."

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
If there's a scene refresh, Anna can shake burning to near death just fine thanks (imagine an unsmiggh in reverse)

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Close, it's a Power Rangers one.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
I have enough FP, so I won't self-compel to torch the joint. Do need to figure out how my poo poo works in FATE Core though. And find time to make crunchposts.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
We have an IRC channel? Shieeeeet son.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Seconding #notentacles

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

Kai Tave posted:

I feel like reminding MadRhetoric at this juncture that Anna has a disposable Weapon: 6 plasma shotgun at her disposal. Just sayin'.

It's got Guilford's name on it, unless we don't get to fight him. Then it's a very messy Chekov's Gun.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
You could always dive tackle snakeman and hold him down/piledrive him into the ocean. If Anna dies in the crash you have plausible deniability.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

TurninTrix posted:

oh look, an anime store

Hey Mad, would Anna drag Maria there to educate her about magical girl shows?

Give her a few drinks, so she can overcome the crippling shame.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
FATE Core is a little shaky on how blocks/player generated obstacles work. There's the ability to overcome, but create an advantage is unclear as to whether advantages can work like the old school blocks or if they only create tags (which makes overcome feel vestigal).

Also, how far past the fourth wall have we gone here?

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
#STOPHASHTAGABUSE

I should probably start using magic blocks against non-mooks if I continue to have Anna not believe in body armor, but making them a version of advantages would probably be a good idea.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Anime at the Gates delenda est.

e: With Storms in it.

MadRhetoric fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Jun 18, 2013

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
I see Mme. Hoshikuma has nothing but love for her fans.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

TurninTrix posted:

yo mad what's up.

Work sux

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
Anna's hugging that Unhinged Bad corner like a toilet bowl after a bad night.

And welcome to the A Double Experience, Storms.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
If we're dealing with weird magical poo poo, we should set the dial to the one that protects us from weird magical poo poo.

Dating Sim is the most broadly useful, but Noir is the most useful for Anna and her +5 Investigation.

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
You realize Ando's going to get befriended with extreme prejudice now, right Destrado?

MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES

TurninTrix posted:

Taking physical consequences should give you a free invoke on them, because dammit getting shot in the gut isn't going to stop you from shooting back.

While I feel awful for Anna now, can we keep the dial this way for a little longer?

EDIT: And since this affects all of us, we definitely should communicate in this thread to make sure we're all on the same page before someone changes the dial.

Yes, please give Anna a setting that completely plays to her mechanics. :allears:

Ironically, Magical Girl is probably the worst for her, since she's already a magical girl with magical girl stunts and aspects. The setting does absolutely nothing for her mechanically. And there's the whole magical girl related trauma in going from a hardened badass to Moemura.

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MadRhetoric
Feb 18, 2011

I POSSESS QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN TOUHOU GAMES
"I will cut off your balls and feed then to you" could be the title of a Light Novel if you added something like "The 12,000 year old class rep said {} on the rooftop that day", or something.

And Ando is so getting hosed up in the least PVP way once this is done.

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