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Welcome to Daily Poetry 2013, kiddies. I've come to a painful realisation: there aren't many poets around these parts. The usual fiction thread "ONE CRIT PER PIECE POSTED" doesn't really work because there aren't enough people who know their poo poo. Well I'm going to change that. I'm going to make poets out of you yet. So here's 2013's magical rule: * YOU DON'T NEED TO POST CRIT TO POST A POEM BUT YOU SHOULD TRY TO ANYWAY. That means you can post your poem straight up and not get chewed out. However, if you post thirty poems with no crits or have a regdate of yesterday and look like you're going to disappear the second you've posted, you're probably going to get ignored. I will try to crit every piece that gets posted but it may take several days or even weeks. If you want to post crit and not a poem, please feel free. Like, please do that. The other rule is: * IF YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING "BUT MUFFIN I'M NOT REALLY A POET, I SUCK", MAN UP AND POST YOU PANSY. This year's theme is PARTICIPATION. It's not a great theme but it's an advance on 2012. If you post your poem in this thread, it will get crit. If you take the crit in, you will get better at poetry. If you get better at poetry, maybe CC won't be so filled with grown-rear end men who are terrified of sonnets. What are you waiting for? Get posting.
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# ? Jan 8, 2013 09:03 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 12:31 |
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Why would anyone want to get better at poetry, and is there such thing as "better", at least in contemporary poetry? I personally don't get freeverse, and don't intend to grow to get freeverse. At least with rhymes you can do something... like remember them. Also, the author of a freeverse poem had better to sound smarter than I am, because everyone's measure of smarts is oneself. Nuff said. P.S.
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# ? Jan 8, 2013 09:24 |
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That doesn't count as a poem. In that vein though, new thread rule: * GENERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT AND DISCUSSION OF POETRY CAN GO HERE. PEACE. n.b.: I'm doing this because there are basically no poets around here and the poetry general thread almost never gets used.
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# ? Jan 8, 2013 09:35 |
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supermikhail posted:Why would anyone want to get better at poetry, Ugh.
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 00:16 |
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Too Late She pulled me down closer and waited for me to speak, or turn my head, or lean so far in she could taste my breath. I held the tail of those seconds, scratching to the later seconds growing from her chapped lips, from powdered skin textured like an ant hill; growing into wrinkles, into a house a car and children. Her lips spread in tiny gaps like whispering, and I could hear us far from now, like radio voices over static. We'd lay in bed— our things around us: retirement plaque, pictures of family, fake plants, an untouched guitar grown old in the same house we have, asking each other if we're happy with the choices we've made. I'd stare at the foot of the bed as if reviewing my life; she would nod saying we've done well, ask if I think so too, and I would lie. She pulled me down closer; but I got up and said that I should go now.
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 00:30 |
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The poetry class I took last semester drat near destroyed my enjoyment of writing. It's one of the reasons I haven't been posting (or even following) Thunderdome. And I like writing poetry. I like reading poetry. I just had the extreme misfortune of winding up with an instructor who bridled at the idea that it could be fun, and who refused to consider that maybe, just maybe, writers who jizz out opaque nonsense are either having fun playing in a sandbox of words, or are utterly pretentious twats. No, no -- it is up to the reader to find meaning in the logorrhea. Sift through that poo poo, sonny -- I swear there's a pearl in that there outhouse. Somebody please tell me that writing is a worthwhile way to spend my time.
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 08:43 |
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budgieinspector posted:The poetry class I took last semester drat near destroyed my enjoyment of writing. It's one of the reasons I haven't been posting (or even following) Thunderdome. I literally bet my livelihood on it. If you want it, it's worth it. So gently caress your loser professor and get your rear end putting that loving ink to wood immediately.
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 08:48 |
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Isn't half of everything post-1950 about vaginas and menstruation though? [EDIT] hang on i'm turning this into a poem, wait Half a century goes by; vaginas discussed in equal measure STONE OF MADNESS fucked around with this message at 09:12 on Jan 9, 2013 |
# ? Jan 9, 2013 09:09 |
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Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:Too Late quote:She pulled me then I grabbed him softly by the hand and said "son, you're hosed" (or something like that) Point is, the sparse stuff needs more built up stuff to make it really hit hard. quote:I held the tail of those seconds, quote:Her lips spread quote:We'd lay in bed— quote:I'd stare at the foot of the bed It's ... You've made no real mistakes but there's a lot of room for improvement, if that makes sense. It's workmanlike but you need to be bolder with your imagery and stricter with your editing. A good thing to do when editing a poem is go over every word and ask aloud "do I need [word]?" Even Ginsbergy screeds have a certain elegance; they use a lot of words but no more than they need to. Get chopping. budgieinspector posted:The poetry class I took last semester drat near destroyed my enjoyment of writing. It's one of the reasons I haven't been posting (or even following) Thunderdome.
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 09:25 |
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I've got mad respect for SurreptitiousMuffin from Thunderdome, so here's my attempt to support this thread: something personal.Etherwind posted:Fallen
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 10:14 |
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Mangled in the gears of expectation ground up despite your protestations Drowned in the sea of doubt faced with naught but inexorable rout publish or perish, you were in peril thoughts of yours were lifeless and sterile you lacked true ethic your efforts pathetic your failure a lesson that stresses won't lessen so we lash to our oars amid the master's roars and while your fate sends shivers down my spine all I can think is "gently caress you, got mine"
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# ? Jan 9, 2013 21:42 |
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Etherwind posted:Fallen This feels more like a prose piece with linebreaks that poetry. Here's a piece of advice for everyone reading the thread: Don't start with free verse. It's not the easiest because it has no rules, it's the hardest. Without form to lean on, everything has to be absolutely perfect. My challenge for everyone reading is to try and write something in blank verse. Blank verse will make you a better poet. quote:You died on a cold and rainy night A love poem should never use the word 'love' and an elegy should never use 'death'. Both subjects are too big to deal with in just one word. It feels cheap. It's pretty obvious from the rest that someone's died and you cared a lot about them so there's no need to say it outright. quote:I dreamed that a policeman came I've noticed everyone posting so far does the thing where each line is its own self-contained sentence. Play around with that a bit. I'm going to put some of my own poetry in the firing line here to show what it looks like. quote:from the ashtray quote:The two last times I went to see you quote:Song of my soul, all words are late, quote:I was told that you would stay; Overall thoughts: cliche is death to poetry. Try to find new ways to say things. Play around with linebreaks a bit more to create a greater sense of movement (this one applies to all of you). There's a solid emotional core there but its clothes are too dull and stiff.
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# ? Jan 10, 2013 00:07 |
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areyoucontagious posted:Mangled in the gears of expectation I usually hate rhyming couplets because they tend to sound contrived, but most of these work pretty well because of the way you used assonance and alliteration to make it sonically interesting beyond the mere fact of the rhyme scheme. That said, I'm not really a fan of the tone you have going on here -- based on the last line, I'm assuming you're aiming for a sort of biting, sarcastic feel, but the first two couplets make it sound more pompous and self-congratulatory than it needs to be. Also, I feel like it's really missing something without a title or some other reference to the subject of the poem. There's no anchor for the sentiment, and so it just kinds of hangs in the ether, which makes it fall flat in the end. Now, this is a piece that I'm thinking about submitting somewhere (anywhere, I don't actually know yet). As well as general critiques, there are two things really bugging me right now where I'd appreciate help/comments. One is the line "between a rock and the grand canyon", I want to change the grand canyon to something else, but I can't think what. Two, the penultimate line is too banal, but I want to change it rather than removing it, because I don't like the last line without something in between it and "the devil you know." Edit: Edited out my poem because I'm submitting it somewhere. Thanks for critting it Muffin! Fanky Malloons fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Jan 10, 2013 03:37 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Overall thoughts: cliche is death to poetry. Try to find new ways to say things. Play around with linebreaks a bit more to create a greater sense of movement (this one applies to all of you). There's a solid emotional core there but its clothes are too dull and stiff. You are for real-real when it comes to poetry, so expect me to toss some more complicated stuff your way in the future (I'm working on my prose right now). Most useful criticism I've had in a good while. Regards the poem, the only thing I will say is that all those clichés in such a short section that breaks so utterly from the established scheme was absolutely intentional, though I'm guessing what I was going for didn't come across. Oh well! Never intend this one for publication, anyway.
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# ? Jan 10, 2013 09:56 |
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Etherwind posted:Regards the poem, the only thing I will say is that all those clichés in such a short section that breaks so utterly from the established scheme was absolutely intentional, though I'm guessing what I was going for didn't come across. Oh well! Never intend this one for publication, anyway.
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# ? Jan 10, 2013 12:32 |
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I didn't mean it was intentionally bad, I said it was intentionally cliché. I didn't pull off the execution right.
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# ? Jan 10, 2013 13:14 |
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EDIT: post removed for publishing reasons. Good luck Fanky!
SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Jan 12, 2013 11:19 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:
Thanks! This is awesome, and super helpful. I think a lot of the problems in the poem stem from the fact that it was originally written for an assignment where I was supposed to riff off a poet that I was studying in class at the time (Jeramy Dodds, if you're interested). So probably a lot of the stuff that doesn't work super well is where I was explicitly trying to mirror his style, which (obviously) he is much better at than I am, so it comes off oddly. However, I liked the theme and ideas of/in the piece, which is why I wanted to work with it to make it more my own. I'm assuming it's cool to re-post it when I have a new version, right? Also, I will take up the challenge that you slipped in there at some point after this week's Thunderdome (if I manage to produce anything for that....)
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# ? Jan 12, 2013 17:36 |
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So, for an earlier poetry class--one that didn't crush my joy--I came up with this for an assignment on persona. I like it, but I know it needs work. I offer it to the Muffinstructor for the ripping: Pour Vatel, le maître des maîtres d’hôtel Le Roi-Soleil sweeps in with his retinue. Beneath the ermine, silk, and lace, there lies an appetite to be tantalized. I have the manor strewn with jonquils, their petals dust the marble floors with sunlight, then, crushed underfoot, exude this sharply-perfumed beatitude: “Blessed are they who surround themselves with splendor, for they need not wait for heaven.” C'est vrai, and I, the miracle worker. As the Christ woke putrefying Lazarus, so I resurrect the senses; as Muhammad split the moon, so I shatter the expectations of the jaded. But what divine conspiracy has hatched to topple poor Vatel? Six-and-twenty tables ringed around the banquet hall, yet only twenty-four of these have any roasts at all! For the evening’s entertainment, I promised silver scarabs, crimson poppies, azure harts and hinds, bounding through the heavens but the soaking mist that blinds us from the starlight, so douses all the fuses; paper rockets, damp and ragged as a toothless pensioner's daily rye. Each downturned eye assaults me. What Gods have I offended that my penance be this rank; as though Our Lord stepped out upon the stormy sea and promptly tripped and sank? I shall rally! Behold the ice armada, a dozen ships fashioned from an Alpine glacier, which I shall fill with the ocean's bounty! From the merest brined anchovy to swordfish ŕ la poęle, I shall raid old Neptune's cupboard and once again Vatel will bask in well-earned honor! The fishmonger is prompt; he stands in my cold kitchen like my father, tightly clutching cap in hand. His prickly jowls quiver when I ask him for his wares. He leads me to his cart, and there, he offers two bushels of haddock, stinking in the cool spring air. He chews his lip and shrugs, "C'est tout." I could strangle him. Instead, I cross his palm with silver, and hasten to my chambers. For there, within the armoire, is the medal of my station: The sabre granted to me with the greatest approbation. With the hilt against the doorframe and disgrace around my neck, it takes three tries to get it right. Poor Vatel: d'échec en échec.
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# ? Jan 13, 2013 18:58 |
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Because I barely ever post my own stuff, I'll submit something for once. I managed to whittle something down to this: Addiction Grab a beer Bottle by the neck Throw it up High as you can and Let it fall. alternatively: Grab a beer Bottle by the neck Throw it up High as you can - Let it fall. Testikles fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Jan 14, 2013 |
# ? Jan 14, 2013 04:56 |
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Surreptitious, I touched on this in the Thunderdome thread, but I'm having real problems understanding contemporary poetry. I want to become a better poet, because I enjoy it as an outlet, but I feel that I won't be able to grow and improve until I can consume other people's poetry. I mention Versed in the TD thread, but I have the same problem with other poets as well. Do I need to take a class or something?
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 19:29 |
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areyoucontagious posted:Do I need to take a class or something? Only if you've read the instructor's work and/or their syllabus, and can relate to what they're trying to do. Seriously, do not drop money on a class you even suspect will disappoint you. You'll wind up even more confused than before. I nearly took a class at UCLA Extension headed by Rachel Kann, but I learned that she doesn't allow negative feedback, and I'm in a space where I need to hear the hard truths. But I like her style and she seems to have the very opposite of a stick up her rear end. Currently taking a class at Gotham Writer's Workshop headed by Matthew Lippman, but we're just one class in, so I don't know how it'll pan out. Enjoyed the previous course I took at Gotham headed by Michael Montlack, though. Best I can suggest to get a sense of modern poetry is check out the online versions of various literary mags. You'll quickly get the idea about who publishes engaging work and who takes themselves too loving seriously. I tend to enjoy PiF and AGNI, but there are tons of other, more prestigious publications out there.
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 21:19 |
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code:
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 22:02 |
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areyoucontagious posted:Surreptitious, I touched on this in the Thunderdome thread, but I'm having real problems understanding contemporary poetry. I want to become a better poet, because I enjoy it as an outlet, but I feel that I won't be able to grow and improve until I can consume other people's poetry. I mention Versed in the TD thread, but I have the same problem with other poets as well. Do I need to take a class or something? To that end, I'll try my best to get into a poet but if it's not working after a week or two, I'll just skip their stuff in future. It's a fine line. Ashbery is a really good example, because each of his poems takes me days to really get to the heart of but once I've got the key figured out, they hit like a freight train. He uses a more impressionist style to pack his poems incredibly emotionally densely while they read just as lightly. I almost gave up on him though, because the amount of work to make his poems seem like anything but a toddler's logorrhea is huge. EDIT: also, people except me are allowed to write crit. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Jan 14, 2013 |
# ? Jan 14, 2013 23:05 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:'what if I just don't get it.' Some of the best advice anyone ever gave me was that, when in doubt, to assume that other people really don't know any better than you until proven otherwise. Of course, the flip-side of that is recognising and accepting when they do...
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 23:23 |
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Yeah, be open to the idea that you actually don't get it but don't just lie back and take that. If someone says 'you just don't get it', ask them why. Sometimes you'll uncover a terrible hipster who wants to sound deep and sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised. Either way, it's a win.
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 23:28 |
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Sheepysaysmoo posted:
This was fun, with a touch of melancholy. I particularly liked "A Marxist-Leninist walks into an analogy". Besides the stanza I mentioned, the whole poem was very evocative. The digging holes metaphor for a couple clutching to broken relationship that is fizzling out was very powerful. Another of mine, because poetry is fun and I love criticism. The thunderdome this week was fun, but I don't think I did it justice. Bottle Up A bitter heart inside of me beats Furtive anger released in spurts of arterial blood, red and hot Spittle bathing my wrathful words but it's just impotence as I spasm bobbing and jerking before the silent crowd emptiness echoing back my cacophony of raging tides an exercise in futility and hopelessness sephiRoth IRA fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jan 14, 2013 |
# ? Jan 14, 2013 23:31 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:'what if I just don't get it.' I know intelligent, well-educated people who, when confronted in a museum setting by art that they don't understand, shrug and say, "Someone likes this enough to put it here. They must be smarter than I am." That poo poo drives me nuts. What drives me even more nuts are the art-set people who propagate the idea. I firmly believe that making casual audiences feel stupid about art is a major reason why there's so little arts funding in the U.S., and why the NEA goes on the chopping block every single time a new legislative session convenes. SurreptitiousMuffin posted:EDIT: also, people except me are allowed to write crit. I tried prior to submitting. You covered every detail that I could possibly have commented on, and more besides. I could always post "^^What he said, but not as smart-like", if it makes you happy.
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# ? Jan 14, 2013 23:56 |
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I need help with learning how to critique. I've been following this thread, some of the 2012 thread, and PFFA but I know I still suck. I will be taking a poetry class this semester, so hopefully that too will help. In the mean time, could you glance at a small piece I've been working on for a while. I will post crits as I become more confident. The Cultural Revolution A civil servant asks a daoist mystic to cast the Leader’s lines. “Look! Bodhidharma has gone West! The People stole his cave.”
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 03:05 |
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Incarnate Dao posted:The Cultural Revolution The title needs work. It's too blunt. You don't want an essay title. As for the crafting of it, I can't say that I see an actual poem so much as a two-sentence quip with random line breaks. Kind of like the title, it lacks the subtlety that is the strength of poetry. New poets (and staunch critics of all poetry) often confuse obfuscation for subtlety. You have a message you want to transmit, which is the second sentence. Now, you need to mix it up with some other ingredients so that that idea isn't the only flavor. My advice would be to take what you're trying to do here and write a 50-line poem, but every line/idea should have some sort of musicality and/or artistry to it. Meander a bit, explore, and read it out loud to hear the cadence of the words. Does it flow like a sentence or does it have its own, internal method of being spoken? Anywhere you can, use tools from the poetry toolbox: metaphor, simile, rhyme, alliteration. See what works and what doesn't work. Finally, once you've fooled around and found a good voice for the poem, you can cut it down and make your idea speak in that voice with fresh turns of phrase that will make the reader stop and consider your poem, thus sealing it in their memory. I like to use this Pound poem as an example of all that. It's very short, but it executes its idea (an image that paints an emotional landscape) in an interesting way. ----------------------------------- In a Station of the Metro The apparition of these faces in the crowd; Petals on a wet, black bough. ----------------------------------- Ezra Pound studied Eastern poetry quite a bit, and he even emulated it. However, there is a distinctively Western approach to crafting the words. You can't read the translation of a poem in English and simply mimic it if you want to achieve the same effect. If it's written in a different language, there's so many other factors going on beneath the surface. So, you can adapt Eastern poetic concepts and make them happen in English, but you'll ultimately have to work within the confines of English and its poetic constructs. I'd suggest reading lots of Pound to see what he did and what of that may be useful to you.
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 03:27 |
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budgieinspector posted:I tried prior to submitting. You covered every detail that I could possibly have commented on, and more besides. I could always post "^^What he said, but not as smart-like", if it makes you happy.
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 08:53 |
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Hollywood Is Out Of Ideas - A silly mad magazine-ish poem created from a lucid dream by Spacedad that made him laugh in his sleep and wake up. I wanted to go to the silver screen Where all my memories and excitement have been But lately, it feels as though my dears That Hollywood is out of ideas They put the same things on I saw long ago In the darkened theater of the picture show The soul and glamour dried up and died The popcorn went stale and my inner child cried Where the things I grew up on and enjoyed Were ground into fodder to keep hacks employed The truth is that it's all been too late They've run out of ideas since '78 Spacedad fucked around with this message at 20:05 on Jan 15, 2013 |
# ? Jan 15, 2013 17:57 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:I aint posted on every poem. Yeah, but-- But-- Spacedad posted:Hollywood Is Out Of Ideas - A poem created from a lucid dream by Spacedad that made him laugh in his sleep and wake up. A WILD SPACEDAD APPEARS! Okaaay. I get the feeling that you aren't really looking for critical feedback; that you just jotted this down, wanted to share, and figured that the poetry thread was the place to do it. If that's the case, and you missed the OP saying that he'd critique every piece posted in this thread, and you haven't noticed that the general role of the various writing threads is to help writers polish their work, here's the thing: Announcing that you've literally put zero conscious effort into what you're about to share... isn't wise. It might protect your feelings if someone calls it poo poo, but no one will praise the literary prowess of your unconscious mind. Folks tend to expend their effort reading and critiquing if they feel that you're expending a greater amount of effort to create and improve. It's the sort of thing that usually either gets flamed or ignored. I'd normally do the latter, but Muffin wheeled out , so I have to do this: quote:I wanted to go to the silver screen (okay? is something physically stopping you?) What you've got here is a tepid rant about the quality of modern cinema, low on imagery, sketchy on meter, boring in the rhyme department, and devoid of examples that might cause the reader to agree with your view that pre-1979 cinema is all that's worth watching. You want to write better poetry? Take Muffin's blanket suggestion and do it in blank verse, using lots of concrete imagery, and don't tell us what you want us to think--make the reader reach your conclusion by creating a compelling mental picture of pre-1979 film that fills them with wonder and despair that those days are over. *That is to say, "not the actual monologue itself", which, while of debatable humorous content, at least tries to tell jokes. This is only funny to people who laugh at the question, "And what's up with that airline food?" before the actual jokes start. I saw that you added a description of "A silly mad magazine-ish poem", but go back and read some of MAD's poetry sometime. Here's something from 1958: I Wandered Lonely as a Clod I wandered lonely as a clod, Just picking up old rags and bottles, When onward on my way I plod, I saw a host of axolotls; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, A sight to make a man’s blood freeze. Some had handles, some were plain; They came in blue, red pink, and green. A few were orange in the main; The damnedest sight I’ve ever seen. The females gave a sprightly glance; The male ones all wore knee-length pants. Now oft, when on the couch I lie, The doctor asks me what I see. They flash upon my inward eye And make me laugh in fiendish glee. I find my solace then in bottles, And I forget them axolotls. budgieinspector fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Jan 15, 2013 |
# ? Jan 15, 2013 21:35 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:EDIT: also, people except me are allowed to write crit. The problem is that you're just so good at it! We all really want you to critique our poem because you're very knowledgeable and thorough, or at least can put your criticism into a graspable form. What also might be the issue is that while everybody can very easily dip into poetry, it's a lot harder to come up with what sounds like a competent review. Maybe we could come up with a particular format or a certain style to help people form a stronger opinion.
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 23:06 |
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Testikles posted:The problem is that you're just so good at it! We all really want you to critique our poem because you're very knowledgeable and thorough, or at least can put your criticism into a graspable form. This is pretty much how I feel. I'll attempt critiques, but I feel like I'm not really a good judge of what constitutes competent poetry, and it ends up being a blind leading the blind situation.
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 23:11 |
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Give a Scotsman his due; Etherwind seems to know his poo poo, as well. But yeah, I operate on about 90% instinct. I'm a reader, first and foremost. The classes I've taken have left me shockingly little knowledge about form, jargon, and convention.
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 23:19 |
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I've been exploring Sound Poetry, and I'm currently working on my masterpiece, "Wub in the Time of Cholera". It's a dub-step anthem tribute to Marquez. What do you guys think?
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# ? Jan 15, 2013 23:24 |
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Testikles posted:The problem is that you're just so good at it! We all really want you to critique our poem because you're very knowledgeable and thorough, or at least can put your criticism into a graspable form. If you say something completely left field that'll hurt someone's writing, we'll call you out on it but it's not going to be a verbal smackdown situation, it's going to be "actually, that's probably a bad idea and here's why". Take those crits to your critting the same way you take crits to your poetry: you're learning, it's ok to do stuff wrong so long as you're willing to grow from it. Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:I've been exploring Sound Poetry, and I'm currently working on my masterpiece, "Wub in the Time of Cholera".
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# ? Jan 16, 2013 00:11 |
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Thanks for your comments. I think in addition to what you've said I need to work on audience. No English speaking person gives a crap that I used Japanese syllabic form to call attention to cultural anachronism. Only I do, and I am an audience of 1. I really see what you mean about it just not sounding enough like a poem, I got too stuck on the cerebral and dismissed the sonic.
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# ? Jan 16, 2013 00:34 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 12:31 |
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Incarnate Dao posted:Thanks for your comments. I think in addition to what you've said I need to work on audience. No English speaking person gives a crap that I used Japanese syllabic form to call attention to cultural anachronism. Only I do, and I am an audience of 1. I really see what you mean about it just not sounding enough like a poem, I got too stuck on the cerebral and dismissed the sonic. I thought it was a lovely little poem, though I'll agree the title is too blunt. The line 4 enjamb works really well to slide the anger in there: he's may have gone West but in practice he's just gone.
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# ? Jan 16, 2013 01:06 |