Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
The Thunderdome is back for a new year, but it ain't shiny and new. It's still stained with the dried blood and pulped brains of past contestants. The stands still ring with the cries of the blood-hungry masses. The judges still sit their carven chairs, staffs of bone, skull, and human skin in their hands. The Thunderdome is eternal, indomitable.

This is a weekly flash fiction contest. The word oval office is ever-changing, the prompt always new and often absurd. The rules are whatever the maddened, often drunken brains of the judges come up with. A given week's rules could be anything from each competitor pitted against another with a unique prompt per duel, to the normal individual entries for one prompt, to domerushing a literary magazine with the entries.

There will always be a winner and A Loser. The winner will become the judge for the next week, the loser will receive the Thunderdome Loser standard shame-atar, courtesy of neonnoodle.

The number of judges will always be Three, unless I or another boss judge says otherwise. One judge will always be the winner of the prior week's contest. The judges convene behind-the-scenes to decide prompt, rules, and deadline, and then again at the end of the contest to determine winner and loser.

At least one boss judge will always be a member of the Three. Boss judges will rotate on a basis of "when we loving feel like it."

Boss Judges

The Original Three
Martello
Erik Shawn-Bohner
Stuporstar

Those Deemed Worthy
HiddenGecko
Sitting Here
SurreptitiousMuffin
Fanky Malloons
sebmojo
twinkle cave
budgieinspector

He Who Keeps Coming Back for More
Chairchucker

Weekly contests are the main event, here. The retarius against the murmillo, the homplomachus crossing blades against the thraex. But there is another type of bloodshed that will take place in this profaned arena. The Thunderduel, one 'domer against his sister. This is the animal show, the occasional naval battle. The off-schedule, off-kilter one-on-one informal contest. The glove of the Thunderduel may be thrown down at any time, for any reason or none at all. A judge can be chosen by the defender or may step up of his own accord. The judge will not be one of the Three for that week. Thunderduel's will last for as many rounds as the challenger offers, but always an odd number.

:frogsiren:Critiques in-thread are fine and useful. Responding to them isn't. Write, read your feedback, shut the gently caress up, and get better. No more of this whiny back-and-forth.:frogsiren:

This is Thunderdome, you teary-eyed, weak-bellied baby bitches. Verbal abuse is not just allowed but expected. Thin skins can gtfo. Now get those fingertips to your filthy, goopy keys. And make your Papa proud.

synirc #thunderdome

Martello fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Apr 14, 2013

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
Thunderdome links and records page. Put thunderdome in each field.

Martello fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Dec 27, 2013

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.

Martello posted:


The number of judges will always be Three, unless I or another boss judge says otherwise. One judge will always be the winner of the prior week's contest. The judges convene behind-the-scenes to decide prompt, rules, and deadline, and then again at the end of the contest to determine winner and loser.


quote:

Three shalt be the number of judges, and the number of judges shall be three.
Four shalt not judge, nor either shall those judging number two, excepting that thou then include a fourth.
Five is right out.

I've taken a break due to holidays and other projects but intend to jump back into Thunderdome cannonball style and finally put a win under my belt.

budgieinspector
Mar 24, 2006

According to my research,
these would appear to be
Budgerigars.

Wait -- I've participated in less than a third of the Thunderdome challenges so far?

loving hell. Last semester was a waste.

budgieinspector fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Jan 10, 2013

HiddenGecko
Apr 15, 2007

You think I'm really going
to read this shit?
Here are my critiques for everyone. I'm harsh but I'm also not going to bullshit with you. I want you to write better and keep getting better.

Stone of Madness: Let’s start with the obvious, you’re plover gambit failed, by the third paragraph nothing is happening plot-wise to hook your reader into the story. It’s a fairly simple story too, Giles creeps on a girl of indeterminate age. Other than being droll you amped it up with a excessive amount of purple prose and terrible adjectives.

Always remember that a 1000 words is a TINY amount of words. You can’t have your characters doddering around and your story going nowhere. Read Sebmojo’s story and study it. It’s an excellent example of capturing the utter essence of an unimportant moment in time and turning that into beautiful prose.

Symptomless Coma: A major problem I had with your piece was the clarity of your prose. So much so that I couldn’t really place where your character was until almost the end of the third paragraph. Disorienting the reader has to be done with a purpose but in this case just confused me and If I was a just a reader reading this somewhere I would have stopped reading.

You need to outline or block out actions before setting them to paper because I would have looked on your story more favorably had there been a clear chain of cause and effect. Also I don’t understand how your main character died. Did the komodo dragon come to life and kill him? WHAT!?

Swaziloo: I liked your story a lot and would have argued for you to win had Sebmojo not hit it out of the park this round. There are many intangible things in a good story that could be improved. You need to focus on editing that prose and really tightening it up. Don’t be afraid to take the imagery to it’s natural, non purple, conclusion. Try to make your dialog a bit more natural and in tune with the rest of your prose. Overall though, a fine fine job.

Zack_Gochuck: Stella finally figured it out. Bernard was a one-eyed ogre! Is either going to be the best story I’ve ever read or the worst. I want the next story you write for Thunderdome to come straight from your heart. Or your rear end, if that’s where your good stories live.
That being said. You’re doing great. The worst thing you could do is stop writing or listen to me. I’m just very particular and ask a lot from art and what I read in general, I’m hard to please, it’s not you. KEEP WRITING, gently caress YOUR HATERS.

SurreptitiousMuffin: You wrote a lengthy dick joke. You wrote a 1000 word dick joke. Mostly I was just WTF more so than being entertained or getting into it because it kept hitting me with punchlines and unnatural ways of approaching those punchlines. You’re characters existed to tell the jokes instead of the jokes being born out of the characters. I was just confused.

Bad Seafood: I once wrote a found poem for one of my creative writing classes. When I got it back I saw that my professor had suggested edits. When I asked him whether it was OK to edit a poem I’d crafted out of clever Facebook statuses he said it was. Do you know why you should always edit? Because the stream of gobbley gook pouring out of our minds is not fit for paper. And a good stream of consciousness piece should read more like a prose poem after all is said and done than a waterfall of words.

Noah: So weird, I think the main thing I wanted was more out of the story. It was reaching but not quite reaching as far as it could. You’re story also is trying to do a little bit too much for the space it had. For some reason there’s just too much happening around your character that it’s hard to focus on what’s actually happening in your story.

Twinkle Cave: A random series of seemingly horrifying things does not coherence make. I’m going to mostly complain about your content because you showed remarkable technical competency, and that’s half the battle.
A big issue is that you didn’t focus deep enough on the here and now of the story that was occurring. This results in BIG STUFF happening to the character that is potentially world changing stuff for all of humanity. You only had a 1000 words and you were making them do too much. Focus on the immediate, the moment, instead of big generalizations.

Toanoradian: I went straight to the point. “I’m sorry for your loss.” And then I couldn’t stop laughing.
“No.” “You should.” “I don’t want to see them in my dreams.” “Just sleep.” “I never slept alone.” Even slapping my own lips could not stop it saying “then I will sleep with you.” She looked at me. The thought didn’t disgust her. And then I laughed again.
“Please sleep.” I continued to rub her waist. This worked when our mother did it to me. MORE MORE.
“But how else am I supposed to stop feeling sad? Blaming myself is all I have.” It’s like I’m reading a bizarre American psycho now.
Wasn’t this on the Bible? ‘Her husband’s brother shall take her’? Yes it is. I shall take her. Possibly the best line I’ve ever heard pre-coitus from someone’s mind.
I used the tipping to cover her nipple and sucked it through the tie. I never asked for this!
Even in this darkness I could still see her brown eyes looking elsewhere. “You’re beautiful.” She remained silent as I removed my trousers. The goon cometh in the dark!

It was like a an onion article satirizing a Chic Tract. I LOVE YOU.

Capntastic: This was technically proficient and how I wish my interviews usually went down. However, it’s more like you used this to plan out a real life interview than write a story. You’re dialog was fine but this was the most boring thing I read this week just because it was like I was watching an actual interview. Remember, writing is a facsimile of life, not the honest to god drudgery of life.

Sebmojo: Really good job this week. Keep practicing along these lines. I don’t really have much to add.

Iroel: It’s time to learn the most FUNDAMENTAL lesson in writing. Here it is. Format is everything. There. You heard me. You gave me a numbered list. It was like reading a powerpoint. I really didn’t understand what was going on or why it was going on. The reason we here at thunderdome are so strict about format is that in the real world so are all the professionals. You submit a story in the wrong format and it goes in the trash, they’re the easiest ones to reject too because the person writing them obviously had no idea how to write if they can’t even format their paragraphs like everyone else. In the future, stick to prose or poetry. As much as you want to experiment with zany zany gimmick #47 try not to. It’s a crutch.


Supermikhail:2nd person POV is hard to do and hard to read. You pulled it off although your story was a little bit too sparse and just a little bit too magical.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch
Jumping in to open myself up for a Thunderbrawl again. Anyone feeling frisky?

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe
:siren:THUNDER:siren:
:siren:THUNDER:siren:
:siren:THUNDERDOME HOOOOOOOOOO:siren:

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: XXIII: DIE FOR YOUR POETRY

THIS WEEK'S SUPER COOL AWESOME JUDGES
sebmojo
Bad Seafood
Benagain

The Prompt: Oooh, looky here, buncha whiny bitches all "but I prefer proooooose." Tough poo poo. Your challenge, should you be hard enough to accept it, is to write at least 350 words of poetry but not more than 1000 because that's just showing off.

What will your poetry be about, you ask? The most Thunderdome-y subject of all: DEATH. You must incorporate Death somehow, with one catch. We embrace death in the Thunderdome, and therefore your poetry cannot be morbid. What does morbid mean, you ask? Go find a loving dictionary and figure it out for yourself.

There is also an interesting RULE ADDENDUM. When you sign up, you must PROVIDE A FLASH RULE, which the next person to sign up must use when writing their piece. I will keep an updated list of peeps and flash rules in this op because I trust none of you. Sebmojo will provide the flash rule for the first person to sign up. Failure to provide a flash rule when you sign up will be punished!

SIGN UP DEADLINE 23:59 EST FRIDAY 11/01/2013.
SUBMISSION DEADLINE 23:59 EST SUNDAY 13/01/2013

DEATH ZONE
Warrior: Flash Rule (dickish comments by yrs truly)

SurreptitiousMuffin: Your poem must include a guitar, a tunnel and a juicer. Only internal rhymes.
Noah: Poem must be a sestina
Capntastic: Iambic Pentameter
HiddenGecko: Limerick
budgieinspector: every third line must contain enjambment
swaziloo: Must contain the words "mouth-friend" and "frigorific".
Iroel: Nautical theme with zero birds. FAILURE TO SUBMIT
Canadian Surf Club: Must contain one line that is also a palindrome
V for Vegas: Must begin and end with the same word
toanoradian: Free verse in very short lines divided into syntactical units stanzas of 4 to 8 lines each.
Sitting Here: Include a geologist. (kill him with a rock)
Fanky Malloons: Cannot use the word 'death.'
supermikhail: Must use non-Western funerary rite. (dude you should totally do sky burials)
STONE OF MADNESS: Must feature this picture. http://i.imgur.com/x1LVi.jpg (click through for the link because i'm not breaking my formatting.)
Blackfrost: An acrostic spelling out Only Death Is Real
Symptomless Coma: M-M-MEGA HAIKU
Etherwind: Proper Epic Poetry
Zack_Gochuck: Must have a rhyming scheme, can't use the same rhyme twice.
areyoucontagious: real deal fuckin' ballad
monkeyboydc: Iambic pentameter
Meis: upbeat and optimistic Concrete poetry. FAILURE TO SUBMIT
Your Sledgehammer: written from the perspective of a dying man.
Prolonged Priaprism: Satirical poem
twinkle cave: have at least 5% of their final wordcount (do the math yourself, gumling) comprised of neologisms, or newly coined words. Think Jabberwocky and nonsense verse.

Benagain fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Jan 24, 2013

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe
Noah I will take you on in the noble art of the Thunderbrawl. I'm still pissed about that last loss.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
In like a motherfucker.


FLASH RULE: Poem must be a sestina. Suck it, person below me.

edit: this frees it from the 350 word minimum.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch
Are you allowed to Brawl me since you're a judge this week? Or did I read the OP wrong. Anyway:

Signing in, and waiting for Sebmojo flash rule.

Edit: Welp, Sestina it is.

Flash Rule:

Iambic Pentameter.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

In to death.

Edit: Limerick

HiddenGecko
Apr 15, 2007

You think I'm really going
to read this shit?
I'm in

Flash Rule Every third line must contain enjambment

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe
The way I read the Brawlin rules was that I can't judge it, obvs, but otherwise no restrictions. Not like judging duties take a lot of time during the week itself.

budgieinspector
Mar 24, 2006

According to my research,
these would appear to be
Budgerigars.

In.

Flash rule: Must contain the words "mouth-friend" and "frigorific".

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
Benny, do I get a flash rule?

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe
Had you READ my POORLY FORMATTED POST you would have seen that sebmojo will determine your flash rule, when he gets his rear end in here.

swaziloo
Aug 29, 2012
In.

Flash Rule: A nautical theme with zero birds.

Iroel
Jun 28, 2012
In

Flash rule: must contain one line that is a palindrome

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.
Inn

Flash rule: Has to begin and end with the same word

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.

HiddenGecko posted:

Bad Seafood: I once wrote a found poem for one of my creative writing classes. When I got it back I saw that my professor had suggested edits. When I asked him whether it was OK to edit a poem I’d crafted out of clever Facebook statuses he said it was. Do you know why you should always edit? Because the stream of gobbley gook pouring out of our minds is not fit for paper. And a good stream of consciousness piece should read more like a prose poem after all is said and done than a waterfall of words.
That's it, I'm gunning for you Joyce.

Before this thread ends I swear to submit a stream of consciousness piece that is not in any way terrible.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Jan 10, 2013

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

HiddenGecko posted:

bunch of horseshit I didn't read

No crit for me, huh? Typical.

Also, not in. I'm leaving for the beautiful Ft Polk, Louisiana at 0830 tomorrow, so using Army "backwards planning" that means I need to show up to draw my rifle at 2100 tonight, then drop my bags off to be loaded at 0200. Then we get 6 hours to wait around to board the plane. This is to ensure nobody is late. :suicide::mil101:

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch

Benagain posted:

The way I read the Brawlin rules was that I can't judge it, obvs, but otherwise no restrictions. Not like judging duties take a lot of time during the week itself.

Okay, 3 rounds, you pick the judge.

V for Vegas
Sep 1, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER
In

Flash Rule: Free verse in very short lines divided into syntactical units stanzas of 4 to 8 lines each.

V for Vegas fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Jan 10, 2013

toanoradian
May 31, 2011


The happiest waffligator
Yo, Benagain, can you put a list of Judges in your challenge post? Just for future reference. Also are we still doing paired crits?


HiddenGecko posted:

I want you to write better and keep getting better.

Stone of Madness: Let’s start with the obvious, you’re plover gambit failed, by the third paragraph nothing is happening plot-wise to hook your reader into the story.

please write better tia

quote:

Toanoradian:It was like a an onion article satirizing a Chic Tract. I LOVE YOU.

I'll start with laughably bad erotica this year. By the end I shall make decent ones. I swear by the name of my grandparents. Also while I'm doing ridiculous promises I will also be on that Boss Judges list by next thread. I'll show you all :argh:

Also I'm just going to assume that there's a hidden mission where I must, after the week's competition is over, fix and then send my story to a journal. I need to rack up those rejection letters.

I UNDERSTAND YOUR FLASH RULE PERFECTLY V FOR VEGAS

Flash rule: make it decent include geologists. Any one you like.

toanoradian fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Jan 10, 2013

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









le reve du moyen francais est de posseder un petit maison, peut etre avec un jardin

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 09:03 on Sep 13, 2013

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe

toanoradian posted:

Yo, Benagain, can you put a list of Judges in your challenge post? Just for future reference. Also are we still doing paired crits?

Done. Also paired crits, I'm assuming yes and I'll work out the list once submissions are closed.

Noah posted:

Okay, 3 rounds, you pick the judge.

HiddenGecko, you're my kind of harsh rear end in a top hat. Wanna watch as we flail at each other ineffectively and rate the offensiveness?

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

sebmojo posted:

Also: only internal rhymes.

Just being clear here

I went up on the roof and smoked a doob-
it's true, it makes your vision blur.

is fine but

I love you truly
be mine, Julie

is not, right?

toanoradian
May 31, 2011


The happiest waffligator

Thanks. Also, for those among us too tired to google and yet not live where EST is, can you post a website that tells the current EST? Like this?

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
I'm in. Scrolling up I see that gives me Toanoradian's rule.

Flash rule: cannot include the word 'death'

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?
I'm in.

Flash rule is: must feature a non-Western funerary ritual.

Edit: for the sake of clarification, let's say that 'non-Western' means any region not coloured dark blue on this map

Fanky Malloons fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Jan 10, 2013

Iroel
Jun 28, 2012

HiddenGecko posted:



Iroel: It’s time to learn the most FUNDAMENTAL lesson in writing. Here it is. Format is everything. There. You heard me. You gave me a numbered list. It was like reading a powerpoint. I really didn’t understand what was going on or why it was going on. The reason we here at thunderdome are so strict about format is that in the real world so are all the professionals. You submit a story in the wrong format and it goes in the trash, they’re the easiest ones to reject too because the person writing them obviously had no idea how to write if they can’t even format their paragraphs like everyone else. In the future, stick to prose or poetry. As much as you want to experiment with zany zany gimmick #47 try not to. It’s a crutch.


There is no need to teach me the abécédaire. I find it unjust to be reprimanded for carrying out the judges' appointed duty of getting out of my comfort zone.

For this reason I throw down the glove and I challenge you to a Thunderbrawl.

One round. Life or death.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
For judges, now and future: neonnoodle is the new CC mod. Make sure he gets a PM on who needs a losertar every week.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
gently caress yes. Call me a canary 'cos thread #1 is in the GOLDMINE.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

gently caress yes. Call me a canary 'cos thread #1 is in the GOLDMINE.

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?

Noah posted:

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

That's true to some extent, but the only one of mine from the old thread I might seriously think about trying to publish is the last one I posted, and really, if I'm a true Thunderdomer, I should just say "gently caress it" and write something else that's better :black101:

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

Noah posted:

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

Just find the post, copy the link, paste it into a PM to neonnoodles, and I believe he can edit it out. Not sure if it works differently with Goldmined threads, though.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
So since I know all 'domers are interested in my life, this is where I'm at right now in the "flying to Fort Polk LA" process. We got to the company to draw weapons from the arms room at 2100. This was decided by the NCOs, even though we didn't need to go down to the motorpool (big parking lot for military trucks) until 0100. Now, I knew it wouldn't take four hours to draw weapons, but the NCOs got very excitable when I gently suggested it even though I can obviously say "we're drawing weapons at 2300, end of story, loving move out." I like to give them leeway with things like that because equipment moving around is an NCO thing. And now, since the guys are all sitting around bullshitting and I'm in my office typing on the something awful dot com internet humor forums, I can throw this in their faces next time they feel like drawing weapons 36 hours prior to a flight or whatever.

Beyond my control, we're still showing up at the airfield at 0130 when we don't fly til 0830. I don't know what the gently caress either. Good thing I'm well trained in sleeping with my head on my assault pack.

supermikhail
Nov 17, 2012


"It's video games, Scully."
Video games?"
"He enlists the help of strangers to make his perfect video game. When he gets bored of an idea, he murders them and moves on to the next, learning nothing in the process."
"Hmm... interesting."
Who are we killing today? :unsmigghh:


Fanky Malloons posted:

I'm in.

Flash rule is: must feature a non-Western funerary ritual.

Edit: for the sake of clarification, let's say that 'non-Western' means any region not coloured dark blue on this map

I guess this means the only funerary ritual ritual I've ever been present at (at least as far as I can recall). This is gonna be a slog. iiiin...

For a flash rule (if it goes to anyone), I'd like to see a poem featuring my vision of the late Thunderdome MMXII.

STONE OF MADNESS
Dec 28, 2012

PVTREFACTIO
Sure, I'll tackle the Thunderdome chimaera.

Flash rule: your poem must be an acrostic poem, spelling out ONLY DEATH IS REAL

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

BlackFrost
Feb 6, 2008

Have you figured it out yet?
Sure, I'll bite. I haven't written poetry since High School (more of a prose guy), but this is the Thunderdome, and I expect to be hurting by the time it ends.

Flash rule: Must be a haiku (can be longer than three lines, to meet the criteria of the thread. So just go 5-7-5 over and over). If someone deems this rule as "Terrible Garbage" then too bad, this is the loving THUNDERDOME bitches.

BlackFrost fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Jan 10, 2013

  • Locked thread