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twinkle cave
Dec 20, 2012


In. Great prompt. As a place full of broad spectrum writing challenges, neon has played true to TD. (despite my insipid rants against poetry.)

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Beezle Bug
Jun 5, 2009

I love painting trees.

In.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


In

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


I almost certainly won't be able to judge next week. What did we say we were going to do there?

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Innnnnnnnnnnnnn. Kinda excited to hear everybody.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I almost certainly won't be able to judge next week. What did we say we were going to do there?

Neon has taken over and is now dictator for the week.


Sitting Here posted:

Innnnnnnnnnnnnn. Kinda excited to hear everybody.

Weirdo perv.

Edit: On an unrelated note, people are now writing about us! http://tiny.cc/hwoprw

Erik Shawn-Bohner fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2013 around 06:43

Symptomless Coma
Mar 30, 2007
for shock value

Oh, I'm in on this. Yes.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

Also, I'd like to point out that we had quite a few people sign up who failed to produce.

JuniperCake
Toanoradian
JGBEagle
Aquavelva
JonasSalk
monkeyboydc
WilliamAnderson


All weaklings.

Of special note is Aquavelva who was a same-day reg who, well, I expected some sort of effort from, even if it was the kicking and screaming of a terrified mule slowly drowning in a well.

They registered to signed up and did nothing.

Conversely, we have Governor_Guycott who has been lurking since 2008 and was moved by some unknown and possibly cosmic force to make their first three posts: All here. One to sign up, one to post their story, and one to show off their submission image.

Think about that.

Sedgr
Sep 16, 2007

Neat!


Are you still intending to post your notes Capntastic? I know you said you took some earlier when you were reviewing and you were going to go over the corpses later. I always like reading the tear downs but there were what, twenty-something entries? Makes it a lot of work even just to post notes so it's understandable if you aren't going to bother.

CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006

WORST WIZARD, THUNDERDOME
LOSER


Capntastic posted:

For providing us with the absolutely gut-sickening line of '“HOW!?” shouts the enraged Austrian, ', which is all caps, uses an interrobang, telling us the guy is enraged while also telling us he's shouting, our loser this week is CancerCakes.

Within that lovingly crafted edifice of poo poo that I submitted you picked up on the one line that I would stand by. If you can't use an interrobang when describing a caricature of Arnold Schwarzenegger in an over the top parody of a public service announcement, when can you use it‽ And while admittedly Arnie's range is limited he can be silently enraged, shout while not enraged or shout while enraged as we see here. Somehow gut-sickening doesn't quite sit right with me, it doesn't work as well as wrenching, twisting or knotting.

However I will take my knocks with moderate to good grace and return to fight another day, I am in for next week.

Finally here is something I came across recently which seems to fit this arena:

In short, to enter the lists of literature is [to] wilfully to expose yourself to the arrows of neglect, ridicule, envy, and disappointment.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


CancerCakes posted:

Finally here is something I came across recently which seems to fit this arena:

In short, to enter the lists of literature is [to] wilfully to expose yourself to the arrows of neglect, ridicule, envy, and disappointment.
I am all about the disappointment.

In.

supermikhail
Nov 17, 2012


"It's video games, Scully."
Video games?"
"He enlists the help of strangers to make his perfect video game. When he gets bored of an idea, he murders them and moves on to the next, learning nothing in the process."
"Hmm... interesting."


In.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


If I wasn't the lord and master of this circus and entered a story and lost (hahahaha like that would ever happen) I'd probably just be like "oh man I lost, guess I'll try harder next time and keep this cool losertar for a few weeks before I buy my old one back" instead of defending my interrobangs and fingerbangs and whatnot.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

Sedgr posted:

Are you still intending to post your notes Capntastic? I know you said you took some earlier when you were reviewing and you were going to go over the corpses later. I always like reading the tear downs but there were what, twenty-something entries? Makes it a lot of work even just to post notes so it's understandable if you aren't going to bother.

I still plan on doing it but for now I'm just posting to say I'm In

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC9OhK2Ovw0

talk to me

edit: Like lovers do

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2013 around 19:11

GorfZaplen
Jan 20, 2012



I'm in and there's no way you can stop me

STONE OF MADNESS
Dec 28, 2012

PVTREFACTIO


I'll be sitting this one out, but will provide a crit for the 3 worst entries.

Thanks for your kind words Capn

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?


College Slice

Capntastic posted:

Also, I'd like to point out that we had quite a few people sign up who failed to produce.

JuniperCake
Toanoradian
JGBEagle
Aquavelva
JonasSalk
monkeyboydc
WilliamAnderson


All weaklings.

Of special note is Aquavelva who was a same-day reg who, well, I expected some sort of effort from, even if it was the kicking and screaming of a terrified mule slowly drowning in a well.

They registered to signed up and did nothing.

Conversely, we have Governor_Guycott who has been lurking since 2008 and was moved by some unknown and possibly cosmic force to make their first three posts: All here. One to sign up, one to post their story, and one to show off their submission image.

Think about that.

I thought the deadline was up. You even told me that I was a day off anyways, with your weird midnight system. I'm in for this week though.

Does anyone know a good (and hopefully) free audio recorder for a webcam? I just want the audio when I read my story out loud.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

JGBeagle posted:


Does anyone know a good (and hopefully) free audio recorder for a webcam? I just want the audio when I read my story out loud.

I know a really good one called Tape a Piece of Black Paper Over the Lens.

Etherwind
Apr 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 1942 days!


Soiled Meat

Sitting Here, I am still super busy, but I'll be back for the competition after this one. Knock 'em dead.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

JGBeagle posted:

Alright, let's do this. I'm in.

EDIT: gently caress, just realized Midnight on Saturday was two hours ago. Guess I'll participate next contest.

Capntastic posted:

No, that was midnight on Friday

You called it quits a day early and I tried to correct you. My attempt to be magnanimous was wasted.

Beezle Bug
Jun 5, 2009

I love painting trees.

JGBeagle posted:

Does anyone know a good (and hopefully) free audio recorder for a webcam? I just want the audio when I read my story out loud.

I dunno about other webcams but I know mine has functioned as a mic for me for years. It's working just fine with that and Audacity.

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?


College Slice

Nubile Hillock posted:

I know a really good one called Tape a Piece of Black Paper Over the Lens.

I just want the audio, gosh. I have zero editing software on this computer so I'd like to just post the audio to tindeck for submission rather than post a blank video.

Capntastic posted:

You called it quits a day early and I tried to correct you. My attempt to be magnanimous was wasted.

Ah, I see. I totally just walked away without even realizing. I can never tell if people mean 12:00 AM Saturday or 12:00 AM Sunday to determine Midnight Saturday.


Beezle Bug posted:

I dunno about other webcams but I know mine has functioned as a mic for me for years. It's working just fine with that and Audacity.

Audacity will be perfect for this, thanks.

swaziloo
Aug 29, 2012


I'm in.

Not so sure about getting my poo poo recorded, but what could possibly go wrong?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


There will be a "sexiest voice" award this week, fyi. Selection will be on a strictly scientific basis through polling me and other people I feel like asking.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Might want to fix your typo where you added an extra l there.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

Might want to fix your typo where you added an extra l there.

Quoting just in case you decide to change this really bad humor joke you posted in response to my serious post about rules in the thunderdome

Vicarious embarrassment to the max bro

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Martello posted:

Quoting just in case you decide to change this really bad humor joke you posted in response to my serious post about rules in the thunderdome

Vicarious embarrassment to the max bro

Feel the

GorfZaplen
Jan 20, 2012



GorfZaplen posted:

I'm in and there's no way you can stop me

I was blind in my hubris, and life reminded me to cool my jets. I must resign from this week and hang my head in shame and humiliation.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


I'm in. However, since I'll be going with my parents to visit my grandmother in some far-off place of no internet this weekend, I might be late. I'm recording using my cellphone anyway, so being late won't really make it any worse for me.

Also like around how many words are 5 minutes or less? From Week III, 1490 words, with all the pauses, gasps and errors deleted takes about 9 minutes. 1800 words take 11 (admittedly chill and slow) minutes. So about 800-900 words?

toanoradian fucked around with this message at Feb 1, 2013 around 02:02

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

I've heard 120 words a minute is a pretty common pace.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning


Tentatively I'm in, but I'm going to have a packed weekend because 1. I'm getting keys to my new place and I have to deal with moving and poo poo (WOO) and 2. Some jerk knocked into my car this morning and I have to deal with workshop and poo poo (BOO). Can't promise anything appearing.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

Here's some things from this week what stood out to me most:

Benagain: "There was a bit of an awkward shuffle because of that since no one wanted to speak first, but the" Finish your sentences. I like koans, though.

Stone of Madness: It's hard to indicate the being is nameless without using <NAMELESS> in line, but I think that transcribing it in that way sort of mars the effect, a bit.

GreatBacon: I feel sort of let down by the turn of events, I thought it was going to end on an O. Henry "They screwed each other over" point.

Canadian Surf Club: The sentence "Boston Blood was the last, I'm through, the arthritis is too much." feels like it could be broken up, or phrased better.

Fanky Malloons: The tone of this really comes out just from the style of words chosen.

The Saddest Rhino: I really dug on the progression of the story but the last sentence is sort of awkward. TO WIT: "leaving them aside to their fates." is the sort of sentence that I know what you're trying to convey, but I don't think it actually makes sense. Either way, it lacks the sort of clarity it requires to cap the story off.

V for Vegas: The truth/lie didn't really stand out too much, and I think the whole thing could've been smoothed out with another editing pass.

BlackFrost: This sounds like a story being told third hand, it's muddled. Tighten it up.

SuperMikhail: You don't just get to say "Sherrek told Marshall a story, sad, epic, believable, and false." Other than that, there's a lot of scene transitions and time skips for a flash fiction. Adjust the scope a bit and get a stronger effect.

Twinkle Cave: Okay so I know you were trying to do the cowboy dialect thing but you got too far up your own rear end and fell off the rails or whatever the gently caress. I can't tell if a lot of it is intentional or just loving up because it crosses from cowboy-speak to AOL.

I mean, look at this poo poo: "we've decided that your to attend," "Shut ur godforsaken sonofabitch mouf,"

In my mind your characters became idiot stick figures scratched into the sand by a child. You only avoided losing this week from what might as well have been a coin flip.

Nubile Hillock: The only note I have here is "whined" so stop doing that I'd suggest.

Sedgr: Over word count, and another "whined" note. Beyond that, the arena backdrop was sort of wasted. The story could've been two people in processing at a state prison or in the waiting room at an unemployment office.

These are far from comprehensive, since I didn't go out of my way to try to have something for everyone. Maybe another judge will step in with their thoughts, maybe not.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


Those of you hooking up Audacity for the first time might want to look into a little something called Noise Removal. You can find it under the Effects tab to scrub out all that static ambiance your garden variety mic is probably going to pick up.

Here's how the magic happens:
  1. Record yourself reading with a handful of silence near the beginning. Two seconds is plenty.
  2. Select as much of the silence as possible, then go to Effects > Noise Removal.
  3. Step One: Click "Get Noise Profile."
  4. Now select the entire recording, Ctrl + A or whatever, then return to Effects > Noise Removal.
  5. Step Two: Set "Noise Reduction" to whatever you want. I like 28. It's a good number.
  6. Congratulations, you no longer sound like you're recording from a submarine.
Bedtime story voice not included.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Old-school Hollywood baseball

Me and Franky Avalon

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


In.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


How can I best reflect the general air of unyielding eroticism through my voice while reading?

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

How can I best reflect the general air of unyielding eroticism through my voice while reading?

Lift between paragraphs.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

Capntastic posted:



Nubile Hillock: The only note I have here is "whined" so stop doing that I'd suggest.



Now that I've seen it I can't unsee it. Thanks for the note!

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monkeyboydc
Dec 2, 2007

Unfortunately, we had to kut the English budget at the Ivalice Magick Ackcademy.

Okay, I have to redeem myself for not submitting last week. I'm in

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