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  • Locked thread
supermikhail
Nov 17, 2012


"It's video games, Scully."
Video games?"
"He enlists the help of strangers to make his perfect video game. When he gets bored of an idea, he murders them and moves on to the next, learning nothing in the process."
"Hmm... interesting."


Great. I don't quite qualify to be even the loser. I guess it was a burn indeed.

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Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


Oh well. Perhaps TD isn't the best place to experiment, I guess I'll just have to win next weeks.

STONE OF MADNESS
Dec 28, 2012

PVTREFACTIO


Thunderdome XXVII: There is only PAIN

Okay children, this week's challenge is ACTION. <1000 words. Don't feel compelled to write a finished story - that's not strictly necessary, just write a good, solid action sequence. It must excite, it must thrill, but it absolutely must not confuse. Characterisation should be evident, but taken as read (no need for contextualising devices such as flashbacks, just give us your characters doing what they do). The sequence itself should have an arc; it should begin, develop, and resolve, whether for better or worse.

This is more difficult than it sounds. It's very tempting to dodge this kind of work by reporting after the fact and so on, but this week you have no choice. Should you manage to create something that stands on its own, more power to you; but all that counts is clarity and purpose.

Your judges: Sebmojo, CancerCakes, and myself. Some very harsh criticism awaits the three worst entries.

Condemn yourselves by midnight, Friday, Feb 8th GMT+8

Submit or seppuku midnight Sunday 10th GMT+8

STONE OF MADNESS fucked around with this message at Feb 8, 2013 around 16:20

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

Holy poo poo. That was a burn.

I'm also calling out me and Martello for not posting when we said we would. We suck.

Well yes you do.

Sounds like you two need to expunge the shame with a little brawl, since we didn't have one last week. It'll be just like that time on Martello's couch, except even more oily and brutal.

Winner gets to pick an avatar for the loser to buy themselves.

What do you say?

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

In until the blood on my teeth stops tasting so good.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


In.

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Student of the principle art of posting

Fun Shoe

In.

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.


IN

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


STONE OF MADNESS posted:

Don't feel compelled to write a finished story
Ah ha ha HA HA HA HA HA.

In.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Yeah OK in I guess.

SC Bracer
Aug 7, 2012

DEMAGLIO!


I have time, so yes, I'm so very in.

BlackFrost
Feb 6, 2008

Have you figured it out yet?


I'm in.

V for Vegas
Aug 31, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

all up in this.

Etherwind
Apr 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 2069 days!


Soiled Meat

In, and now with new and faster Internet! Apparently they were working on the cable in my area Sunday. Thanks neonnoodle.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


Looking forward to getting back into the groove.



In.

CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006

WORST WIZARD, THUNDERDOME
LOSER


STONE OF MADNESS posted:

Thunderdome XXVII: There is only PAIN

Okay children, this week's challenge is ACTION. <1000 words. Don't feel compelled to write a finished story - that's not strictly necessary, just write a good, solid action sequence. It must excite, it must thrill, but it absolutely must not confuse.

Awesome I have a great idea for this!

STONE OF MADNESS posted:

Your judges: Sebmojo, CancerCakes, and myself. Some very harsh criticism awaits the three worst entries.

Hahaha this is a mistake right? right? Should be fun though.

Edit: I mean TREMBLE IN FEAR MORTALS, I WILL STRIP YOUR FLESH FROM YOUR BONES.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

I'm in.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Congratualtions Seb, I'm not really surprised. drat you for being the first to get five wins though. drat you.

I'm in. My life is a hollow shell except for this blood drenched internet thread

Impermanent
Apr 1, 2010


IN!

Etherwind
Apr 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 2069 days!


Soiled Meat

Sitting Here asked this in IRC, and I figure it's worth clarifying: you don't just mean "action" to be "fighting," right?

I know, prompt abuse in service to good writing is basically the whole point of Thunderdome, but I'd like to deliver what you're actually looking for.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

CancerCakes posted:

Awesome I have a great idea for this!


Hahaha this is a mistake right? right? Should be fun though.

Edit: I mean TREMBLE IN FEAR MORTALS, I WILL STRIP YOUR FLESH FROM YOUR BONES.

You can enter as a judge, but you can't win. Probably can't lose, though I'm sure we could stretch the rules if you put in something really bad.

Speaking of: in.

Edit: Also, crits have been spotty to non-existent the last few rounds. This will be rectified.

dreadmojo fucked around with this message at Feb 4, 2013 around 22:34

swaziloo
Aug 29, 2012


In.

STONE OF MADNESS posted:

...It must excite, it must thrill, but it absolutely must not confuse. ...

That, right there, makes this an excellent assignment exercise development opportunity prompt. Thanks!

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Due to some stupid bullshit drama, this thread is temporarily closed. Keep writing guys, submissions are still due by the deadline. If you still want to enter and haven't had the chance yet, send me a PM.

The Finn
Aug 27, 2004

Likes: Katanas, Corea, Entertainment Centre, Couch, Yellow, Bald, Power

idiot race's bald fail admin of the week winner 2013


Martello posted:

Due to some stupid bullshit drama

That's why I'm here. No more drama from this thread or it goes away forever and I start banning the people I see causing the drama. Very simple, imo. Please just resume whatever you do in here and leave it at that. Please don't quote or reply to this post, this isn't a discussion or a derailment, it's just an fyi. Also please do not bother other admins or mods about this, as they are fully aware. Thanks everyone.

V for Vegas
Aug 31, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

FLASH RULE

To myself: Must be written in the style of Matthew Reilly.

Debbie Metallica
Jun 7, 2001



Finn's right, and just to clarify a bit further: Thunderdome as a contest is welcome here so long as people are able to contain their work to this thread, prevent drama from spilling over elsewhere, and keep their own egos in check.

This should be a collaborative writing effort, not a fiefdom, and I think it would be a shame to deprive folks of the opportunity to do this so I hope that the message comes across loud and clear.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Please come back for a poetry week

Echo Cian
Jun 16, 2011



I suck at action scenes.

In.

Sedgr
Sep 16, 2007

Neat!


I don't know what happened that earned us this warning so I'm just confused by it. I'm guessing it's a result of the message not being aimed at me. But just in case, is the usual Thunderdome poo poo talking of the submitted works going to be seen as causing drama? I'll be somewhat disappointed if the dome is supposed to go all nice and friendly input only.

Like I said though I think I've just missed out on the whole drama thing entirely and therefore my interpretation of the warning is suspect at best.

Also, I actually kind of enjoyed writing a little something for a previous dome so I think I'll go ahead and say I'm in this week.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Sedgr posted:

Also, I actually kind of enjoyed writing a little something for a previous dome so I think I'll go ahead and say I'm in this week.

If you don't know what it was about then it was nothing to do with you. Nothing else about the 'dome has changed, poo poo talk accepted and expected.

Entry noted.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


I'm in, please.

STONE OF MADNESS
Dec 28, 2012

PVTREFACTIO


Etherwind posted:

Sitting Here asked this in IRC, and I figure it's worth clarifying: you don't just mean "action" to be "fighting," right?

I know, prompt abuse in service to good writing is basically the whole point of Thunderdome, but I'd like to deliver what you're actually looking for.

A good question, and while fighting's what I generally think of because , the answer's no, definitely not. I'm not even going to say it has to be fast-paced (although the odds are good it will be). Action could be anything from bull-wrangling to bullet-dodging. Arguably a loving sports story shows action.

However, I'd like to see people posting the sorts of action they're going to be dealing with in their own writing. Only the very safest of lit-fic pabulum is going to totally avoid anything that could be described as such; good, exciting sex scenes are action sequences.

That said combat/chase scenes are what I'd expected, so if you're going to go out on a limb, just be certain you're meeting the prompt.

Etherwind
Apr 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 2069 days!


Soiled Meat

STONE OF MADNESS posted:

good, exciting sex scenes are action sequences.

Man, don't taunt Martello like that.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


STONE OF MADNESS posted:

...Arguably a loving sports story shows action...

I knew I should have gone with extreme croquet. I KNEW IT.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


A desperate, adrenaline-filled rush of frantic keyboard spasms to collect enough electrons to summon a half-legible assortment of tense errors count as action, right?

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


The Blues - Word Count: 1000

Smoke hung in the club like fog from a cheap horror film. The patrons were gone for the night but their cigarette shrouds remained, watching over their green leather barstools like wraiths.

They graveyard feeling was appropriate. His club, Brass Tacks, was now closed for good. Behind the bar, Edgar polished what would in all probability be his final set of tumblers. Row upon row of pristine glasses already sat drying on a cloth on the bar. His calloused fingers worked the grooves from muscle memory, coaxing out the sticky residues from their hiding places.

The place had a lot of memories. Too many memories. Signed photographs of famous bluesmen hung on the wall like little windows to happier times. The nicotine on the ceiling was thick enough to study geologically. Countless couples had scuffed their way over the woodwork locked in intimate embraces, beholden to the mesmer of forgotten jazz.

He heard the familiar heavy thunk of the doors and the shudder of multiple pairs of feet stamp down the stairs. They burst through into the room in a flurry, great woollen overcoats billowing all about them. Not so much entering, as storming. Four of them, greasy wops from uptown.

They revelled in their stereotype. The one at the lead had a rhythmless swagger to his step. An ugly pencil moustache completed his portrait. He wore a matching ugly sneer to go with his ugly face. Disdain oozed from his every oily pore. He approached the bar and sat at Charlie's seat. He wrinkled his nose, then with his greasy fingers took one of the clean glasses from the cloth and poured himself some bourbon.

“Stinks worse than a chop shop in here old man.”

Edgar said nothing. The man took a theatrical slug and made a theatrical face.

“This the best you got?” the greaseball “Figures.”

The three goons standing behind him chuckled on queue.

Edgar said nothing.

“The thing is...” the man continued “The thing is about you niggers, is that you just don't get business.”

Under the table, Edgar's hands flexed.

“When you put money in, you expect return on investment...”

The words faded into the humming of the bar lights. Edgar couldn't stop looking at the glass the man had just put down. The lip-prints on the rim. The translucent smears across the clear crystal.

It was then that the fracture happened. Like when you drop an ice cube into whisky, the outer integrity is preserved, but on the inside the perspective simply breaks. A hairline crack formed along Edgar's psyche. With an expression of icy calm he picked the bourbon bottle up neck-first. With a smooth and graceful action, he brought the bottle round into the man's temple. The force of the impact toppled him from his stool, and he tumbled to the floor in a shower of glass shards and cheap booze. So sudden was the blow that he hadn't even made a yelp.

“What the fu...”

The mobsters rifled comedically through their many layers, attempting to find their stashed weapons. They were too slow. In one swift motion, Edgar was over the bar. In his hand he clutched an ancient looking saxophone. It was beat up and had lost most of its shine, a bit like him. He swung it like some primaeval club into the forehead of the guido on the left with a wet thump. He hit him so hard that the saxophone dented. The man fell to his knees and Edgar brought it down twice more. He keeled sideways, hair now slick with more than gel.

Another grabbed him in a bear hug so tight the air was squeezed out of his lungs. Edgar wheezed and dropped the sax. He could feel his ribs buckling. Before the life was literally squeezed right out of him, he threw his weight forward in a manoeuvre he would have not imagined he was capable of. The man crashed over the top of him and onto a thick wooden table. It broke down the middle in a bone-jarring crunch.

Edgar wrenched one of the splintered table legs free. The man tried to get up, still dazed. Edgar rammed the makeshift stake right into his belly and pinned him back down. He was drawing from a deep well of savagery now, animal and vicious. The mobster groaned and emitted a pitiable whine.

Surveying his work, Edgar almost heard the footstep too late. He spun to see the final flunky charging right at him with a switchblade. With all the poise of a martial artist, he diverted the man's momentum and clenched his wrist and upper arm and pressed, hard. The man's elbow popped in a way it was definitely not meant to. The man screamed and dropped the knife, his arm going limp. Edgar swung a violent kick into his groin, and then another for good measure. He let go of the man's arm like a puppeteer dropping a marionette, and the man collapsed gasping for breath.

“You crazy loving coon! You motherfucking lunatic!”

Edgar turned to see that the lead gangster had staggered to his feet, still wobbling unsteadily. Rivulets of blood trickled down his cheek. In his hand, a Colt 1911. Its black eye waved back and forth, watching Edgar, who stood in a fighter's pose.

“Stupid loving old man. Now look what I gotta do.”

The man fired, three harsh guttural barks in languid succession. Smoke coiled up from the barrel to intermingle with the rest. Edgar slumped sideways and stumbled into one of the room's pillars. He slid down it like a man relaxing.

From one of his chino's pockets, Edgar pulled out his ancient Zippo. He stroked the burnished brass cap backwards and sparked the flint. The flame danced to some unheard tune. He saw the lighter topple from his fingers and the gasoline soaked floor erupt. Edgar smiled. He'd always wanted to go watching somebody howling to the blues.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


First blood of the week

Steriletom
May 11, 2009

My inability to write has angered the ghost of Thunderdome! Beware my example, lest you be haunted.


In.

SaviourX
Sep 29, 2003

The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.



Alright, dicklords, I'm back and I want youuuuu.

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Symptomless Coma
Mar 30, 2007
for shock value

Gon' do this, for real this time. In.

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