Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«150 »
  • Locked thread
Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Winner Announcement

This weeks winner(s) and the judges for the next week are: Nubile Hillock, Nikaer Drekin, and Fumblemouse. All of you had impressive submissions blablabla.

Yes, that's right, all three of you are winners and all three of you have to judge. I hope you hate it just as much as I did.

Ultralosers: The cats. Try again next week. I still suspect you are both the same person... registering on the same day just two months apart.

angel opportunity fucked around with this message at May 1, 2013 around 22:12

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The kat people. Both losers.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Martello posted:

The kat people. Both losers.

Hahahahaha.

At least they don't have to judge next week.

systran posted:

Ultralosers: The cats. Try again next week. I still suspect you are both the same person... registering on the same day just two months apart.

It's a catspiracy

Erik Shawn-Bohner fucked around with this message at May 1, 2013 around 22:16

Nikaer Drekin
Oct 11, 2012


Well, thank you for this... dubious honor, judges. I guess my Boris Grishenko-style invincibility will be unchallenged for another day.

I don't have PM, so if my fellow judges want to get in touch, my email is nikaerd at gmail.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Hey Sebmojo I'm still all dressed up with no blood spatters to show. You owe these people a spectacle. FOR THUNDERDOME SUPERIORITY.

Congrats winners(?), welcome to hell

zakucat
Dec 8, 2012

I want you to steal it. And I'm going to watch you.

systran posted:

Winner Announcement
Ultralosers: The cats. Try again next week. I still suspect you are both the same person... registering on the same day just two months apart.

Haha no, not really. Though I know kazakiri IRL. He introduced me to the joys of SA. He was spending so much time lurking here that even I get jealous.

I'll be joining depending on how soon the prompt gets out.

zakucat fucked around with this message at May 2, 2013 around 02:59

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

First the that girl told me "we should just be friends" gets arrested in a big RCMP thing, and now I've won the Thunderdome! What a glorious day

Prompt will be up shortly, I think.


edit in case anyone wants to call my bluff

edit2: The three worst contestants along with the three best contestants shall get a line by line!

autism ZX spectrum fucked around with this message at May 2, 2013 around 03:26

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

PROMPT

As my fellow judges and I were each robbed of a victory to call our own we're bitter. We wanted the glory, not the soggy mouth ashes of a 'shared victory'. So we're going to have to exert our innate superiority over you in a different way.

Your basic prompt is to write a genre piece involving Bad Luck, because gently caress the last judges.

Each entry must be submitted to an imaginary Pulp Genre Magazine which you get to invent. You know the kind; Weird Tales, Amazing Stories, True Zombie Romance, whatever, go wild. Don't get too excited, though, this is the rope by which we fully expect you to hang yourselves. The judges are the Editors of your magazine. If you're submitting to Two-Fisted Tales of Terror a one fisted tale of mild unease, you will be rejected with extreme prejudice. The same with True Zombie Slight Crushes - we want to be amazed and astounded but we've got a stonking great circumstantial hate-on for everything, so it better be loving amazingly astounding. You will be graded on how far down in the Slush Pile your entry ends up, if you're good enough to make it to the slush pile.

Include the name of your Pulp Magazine when you sign up. Otherwise you'll just look at your story and go "This is my submission for 'Crap Emo Bollocks'." Yes, you would.

Oh, and the stories have to deal with anarcho-syndicalism or straight up libertarianism. We don't care how, just so long as it's there.

WordCount: 1200 + Magazine Title
Signups By Midnight Friday PST
Submission by Midnight Sunday PST
Judges: Nubile Hillock, Nikaer Drekin, and Fumblemouse

---

The unwashed masses, barely literate, yearning to be pro and the publishing empires to which they have attached their hopes and dreams:

HaitianDivorce: Firestar Science Fiction
Auraboks: Testosterone Tales
Erogenous Beef: Brosef Stalin's Yankee Yarns
V for Vegas: Arm Wrasslin' - True Tales of Bicep Bravery
Radioactive Bears: Romancin' & Wranglin'
Systran: Enduring Atlas: Tantalizing Tales of Space Bootstraps and the Magnificent Men who Pull People (and sometimes Aliens) up by Them.
JonasSalk: Fantastic Fantasy: Where the Fantasy is Fantastic.
crabrock: Animals of Tomorrow
Cancercakes: SciFi Spy Bi-weekly.
Kaishai: Eldritch Tales of the Uncanny
Perpetulance: Galt's Gilded Tales.
Sitting Here: Tales for the Modern Misanthropist.
Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi: Tinseltown Terrors: Grim Tales of Hollywood
Sebmojo: Flabbergasting Science Wonder Yarns!
magnificent7: Astonishing Creeps
Symptomless Coma: Time Travellin' Weekly!
Dr. Kloctopussy: Spaced! Outrageous Stories from Outerspace!!
Black Griffon: Four Balls: Treacherous Tales of Steampunk Adventures.
Echo Cian: Phantasmagorical Fantasy Fantasia Weekly.

Fumblemouse fucked around with this message at May 4, 2013 around 06:41

HaitianDivorce
Jul 29, 2012


Nubile Hillock posted:

edit2: The three worst contestants along with the three best contestants shall get a line by line!

Yeah, creepy glee aside is this two line-by-lines from each of you or is this something you're doing all by yourself?

E: oh, yeah, I'm in I guess.

E2: Off to a great start ! Let's send this one in to Firestar Science Fiction.

HaitianDivorce fucked around with this message at May 2, 2013 around 14:17

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

No idea! I'm doing line by lines for sure, the other judges can do whatever the hell they want!

HaitianDivorce
Jul 29, 2012


Nubile Hillock posted:

No idea! I'm doing line by lines for sure, the other judges can do whatever the hell they want!

Cool. I'll... try to make sure I'm not on the bottom, I guess.

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

HaitianDivorce posted:

E: oh, yeah, I'm in I guess.

I have bolded a certain section of prompt. Reading Submission Instructions is vital for sending stories to magazines and so is not forgetting to write the address on the loving envelope.

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

HaitianDivorce posted:


E2: Off to a great start ! Let's send this one in to Clarkesworld.

Shitkittens. By "name" we meant "invent a name for“, not "point at". Feel free to submit to the magazine of your choice on your own time, but for our purposes it would be hard to judge if you were sufficiently Clarkey or worldy. I have edited the prompt for clarity.

Auraboks
Mar 24, 2013

...huh?


In. Writing for Testosterone Tales.

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


Tentatively in, pending actually having time this weekend. I'll be writing for Brosef Stalin's Yankee Yarns.

Founded in 1981 after the Kent State Revolution by an alcoholic Turk with money from the Moldovan Mafia as a midwestern Gosizdata firm, tragedy struck BSYY after its editorial board were discovered dead beneath an avalanche of Ayn Rand fanfiction in '92. Sold to the lowest bidder, the mag was "reinvented" by the world-famous fanzine authors the Hoopblatt brothers, fraternal Siamese twins from Rolla, MN with a penchant for Wild Turkey and shooting competing editors in the buttocks. The current editor-in-chief is Happy Boy, a badger with heart arrhythmia, who has guided the rag to dominance in the field of hard-boiled post-bropocalyptic action.

V for Vegas
Aug 31, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Radioactive Bears
Jun 27, 2012

Creatures of horrid visage and disposition.


I'm in, writing for Romancin' & Wranglin'

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

In. Submitting to Enduring Atlas: Tantalizing Tales of Space Bootstraps and the Magnificent Men who Pull People (and Sometimes Aliens) up by Them.

angel opportunity fucked around with this message at May 2, 2013 around 22:16

JonasSalk
May 27, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I'm in. Writing for Fantastic Fantasy: Where the Fantasy is Fantastic.

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER


Fumblemouse posted:

Oh, and the stories have to deal with anarcho-syndicalism or straight up libertarianism. We don't care how, just so long as it's there.
What the goddamn loving christ? I'm a writer, not a researcher. And barely THAT.

Correction: I write as well as I research.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

Submitting my entry to Animals of Tomorrow!.

CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006

WORST WIZARD, THUNDERDOME
LOSER


magnificent7 posted:

What the goddamn loving christ? I'm a writer, not a researcher. And barely THAT.

Correction: I write as well as I research.

Just flick through this:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3543334

In for this week, submitting to SciFi Spy Bi-weekly.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


While we're on the subject of magazines, have the other people who got accepted by the Thunderdome mag been paid yet? Because I haven't and "Mid April" is starting to ring a little hollow.

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

In, submitting to Eldritch Tales of the Uncanny.

perpetulance
Mar 24, 2013

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Submitting to Galt's Gilded Tales.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Hopefully this time I'll get accepted to Tales for the Modern Misanthropist.

I'm in since Sebmojo is the worst nemesis ever.

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005



Gonna give this a shot. Hopefully Tinseltown Terrors: Grim Tales of Hollywood enjoys my entry!

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Sitting Here posted:

Hopefully this time I'll get accepted to Tales for the Modern Misanthropist.

I'm in since Sebmojo is the worst nemesis ever.

HA!

I will literally physically destroy you with my submission to Flabbergasting Science Wonder Yarns!.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

sebmojo posted:

HA!

I will literally physically destroy you with my submission to Flabbergasting Science Wonder Yarns!.

I'll face you down in-prompt of course

But I want something ~special~

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER


In with a submission to Astonishing Creeps!

Symptomless Coma
Mar 30, 2007
for shock value

In with a submission to that classic biannual journal, Time Travellin' Weekly!

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

The frontpage just mentioned a published work that has beaten all of you already.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

IF KAISHAI AND ECHOCIAN DO NOT SIGN UP THEY WILL FOREVER BE KNOWN AS TEAM SMELLS-A-BUNCH

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Kaishai posted:

In, submitting to Eldritch Tales of the Uncanny.

Nubile Hillock posted:

IF KAISHAI AND ECHOCIAN DO NOT SIGN UP THEY WILL FOREVER BE KNOWN AS TEAM SMELLS-A-BUNCH

IF HILLOCK DOESN'T LEARN TO READ, I WILL SIC LEVAR BURTON ON HIM.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

While we're on the subject of magazines, have the other people who got accepted by the Thunderdome mag been paid yet? Because I haven't and "Mid April" is starting to ring a little hollow.

I don't expect to see money from this, ever.

Also, in with my submission to Spaced! Outrageous Stories from Outerspace!!

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Thunderduel: Martello v ESB

The Boy and the Crib

Frankie was locked in the corncrib because he was a bad boy. He had done a very naughty thing, and his father said he wasn’t fit to live in the house until he learned to act like a big boy. The sun had gone down, and the crickets were singing.

The lock on the door rattled. Frankie rose to his feet and bounced with joy as his father unlatched the chain. His daddy had a bandage around his neck, a dark spot along the left-hand side below his beard. Frankie’s dad set a plate down. It was stacked with cornbread, a pile of sugary beans, and a great big porkchop that edged off the side of the plate.

“Daddy,” Frankie said, “I’ve learned my lesson, and I want to come back inside.”

Frankie’s father shook his head as he walked backwards out the door, “Not yet, son. Not yet.”

Cradled in the dry husks in the corner, Frankie sopped up the sweet bean juice with the cornbread and relished the flavor.

“I’m so hungry,” came a sweet voice from the pig pen, “Will you share with me, Frankie?”

Frankie crawled back into the corner and hid in the husks.

“Frankie. I know why you’re in there,” she snorted, “You didn’t stick him well enough, you naughty boy!”

“Go away!” Frankie shoved his plate under the rough wooden wall into the pig pen, “Take it and leave me alone!”

The greedy, sloppy gnawing and grunting made his tummy hurt. “I always loved them porkchops.” She nudged the plate back into the corncrib.

“Thank you my darling,” the piggie said, “I’ll let you out since your evil daddy won’t.”

The husks rattled and rasped as Frankie quivered behind them. Tears dripped down his cheeks, and he laid his head against the corner.

The sow butted her head against the wall, punctuated by Frankie’s screams of fright. The old hickory crackled as it bent inward. Frankie thought the whole corncrib would come down around him the way it shook and shimmied. It creaked until the sow had busted through, her fat pied head sticking in.

“Come on boy,” she said, “come on out and do what you have to do.”

Frankie smudged the dirt on his face and crawled through the hole into the pig pen. The rest of them were asleep except for the old sow. She butted him towards the gate, “Climb over.”

He did as he was told, stretching high and climbing up and over, landing flat on his back on the other side. Frankie stood and walked to the house. He passed the corn crib with the chain and lock, the grave where he stopped and said, “Goodnight momma.” He picked up the pocket knife his father used to whittle on the porch, now gone rusty from the year of sun and rain.

Frankie entered his father’s bedroom, the knife in hand, “Daddy.” His daddy woke to a terrible fright. Frankie’s daddy cried.

#

In the morning, Frankie and his daddy went down to the pig pen. His daddy’s hand had a cotton wrap with a big red spot in it. Frankie dragged a large, two-headed axe with him, fresh sharpened edges glinting in the morning light. His father took him to a stump where the old sow was tied down, her neck stretched over.

Frankie spread his feet apart and lifted the heavy axe over his shoulder, back taught and ready to swing.

“Do it, boy,” his father said.

The old sow craned her neck up and looked the boy in the eye, “I never loved you anyway.”

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Thunderduel Prompt: Operation Circlejerk: Martello vs Sebmojo

Aight, boys. We almost have all the hands in the right places, so we can't break the chain. Aim for the cracker in the center, last one to finish has to eat it.

Prompt: In <1000 words, write a flash story that covers a specific point in time of about two minutes. It must pose a philosophical question that is exemplified by the story.

Nikaer Drekin
Oct 11, 2012


SIGNUPS CLOSE IN LESS THAN FOUR HOURS

Most of you guys signed up Thursday, but just a heads-up for any stragglers.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Signing up. Writing a story for Four Balls: Treacherous Tales of Steampunk Adventures.

Also, judgment for the brawl is coming in eight hours or so. Just got a new job, so it's been a busy couple of days.

  • Locked thread
«150 »