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  • Locked thread
Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Pregnancy

eight equals capital d,
tilde times three
ejaculate
e-jac
you late?

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Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I think thunderbrawls should be in-thread, and there should be no limit to how many you can do. You just have to pay X money to do them. A tab is kept until the end of the month, and you must donate that amount to a charity of our choosing (must provide screenshot proof) at the end of the month or face a ban from TD. Maybe forever, maybe for the next month. Something along the lines of $1 USD to challenge someone, and they can pay $1 to accept on their tab or you can pay $2 to cover their tab and yours (along with picking the prompt), and they're the dick for not writing for charity. If someone wants to sponsor a fight, they can put it on their tab.

It's a great idea because it's FOR THE CHILDREN, you greedy hacks.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


The successful ones do

But if you can't spare a dollar to feed a starving African child for two days because you'll have to drink a glass of purified, delicious tap water instead of Mt. Dew...

I don't know what to tell you

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW



These are all petty concerns considering the massive cash flow it would generate. We could point it at a world problem, and this thread could have it solved in a couple months.

But for the sake of arguing in good faith, I'll address your points:

1) It shouldn't be hard to pick one organization that everyone can agree on. Something that wouldn't cause any moral conflicts like donating to the IDF.

2/3) While I see your side, it's simply the way of the world that the fiscally responsible have put themselves in the position where they have the best resources to make informed decisions.

4) I wouldn't consider it so much a donation as a tax on the privilege of self-expression.

5) To groom a proper community, it is necessary to keep certain types from jumping into the middle of things without having first proven themselves capable. Much like keeping a country club running smoothly, it's best to let them serve the community so they can have an up-close view of how everything works. In reality, it's offering them a grand opportunity.

I hope I have answered your questions fully and we've come to an understanding.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I told them we should have gone with the theme of "titties".

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


ATTN poetry nerds:

We hope you are enjoying your time in the Thunderdome and have enjoyed the 24/7 buffet of the blood of your enemies. However, it has come to our attention that some of you are carrying on a conversation that would be better suited to the following fine thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3527106

Please feel free to get your rear end in there to discuss poetry in more detail than specifically mocking another participant.

Thanks,
MGMT

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Noah posted:

edit: also, I know it's been said before, but jesus christ stop defending your piece. It doesn't matter if someone rips it to shreds, it's gonna happen to everyone here. This back and forth is obnoxious and just adds to the clutter.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Noah posted:

What is this carbs bullshit? Aren't you fat enough?

This new thread is as clogged with milquetoast crits and defensiveness as my veins are with cholesterol and whiskey.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I'm introducing a real flash rule because I can and gently caress the police.

Before you submit, read this: http://www.brainpickings.org/index....-kurt-vonnegut/

Choose one (or perhaps more) and apply it to your story with gusto. Identify which you were attempting by putting the number at the top.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Etherwind posted:

1746 words, influenced by King without being completely derivative. Vonnegut's fourth rule help me squeeze this one in under the limit; I tried to follow rules one, two, three, six and seven to varying extents. Being totally honest, I wrote with his other eight rules in mind.

Please unquote for editor's sakes

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Also, I'm in a live editing session with HiddenGecko and twinkle cave. We are doing awesome edits. You guys are weak.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Burn.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Meis posted:

For fear of getting too E/N, I'm just going to say that I'm pretty fed up of feeling unmotivated and uninspired in pretty much every aspect of blowing men for crack. Maybe I'll figure out how to get my poo poo pushed in, but until then I'm going to swallow loads at 1 in the morning.

You missed a comma after "but until then"

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I want to read an exciting novel or collection of stories. Suggestions?

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVsxvoUX9Rw

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Rectum? drat near killed'm.

Ahahahaha. Just kidding guys. Everyone is okay.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Might PM neonnoodle on that and see if he's game. I would, but he hasn't responded since I PMed him a bunch of crotch shots and asked for his home address.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Capntastic posted:

I want something you can read proudly without sounding like an rear end in a top hat.

Please, for once in your life.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


aquavelva posted:

I'm in. Ready to lawyer.

loving same-day reg stupid newbie idiot bitch fucker.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


^ Title, fucker.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Oh yeah, by the way fuckers:

We're goon-rushing another interesting lit rag this week. Try to not gently caress it up and know that daddy loves you.

:X

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Way to blow your load early. We were going to spring that on them at the end, remember?

Do you read their stories every week? The 1/3 of them that don't actually read the thread before or after squeezing out some kernel-pocked turd won't see it, and the rest are so cognitively disadvantaged that they won't remember it as soon as they see a pair of jangling keys.

Also, it's a warning to edit poo poo before you post (due to the way-extended sign-up). You folks are locked in, and it's ultra-shame if you don't produce now. We'll think of some cruel and/or creative ways to gently caress with non-producers.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I've got my fingers crossed that neonnoodle is going to be cruel as hell to you guys next week. Also calling not-it as a judge in case neon jumps off the cliff and requires a 2500 word minimum. It'll be the other judges' funerals and not mine.

Forthcoming, forthwith, will be the fourth (divided by two) TD goonrush details.

Here's a hint: $20 for acceptance, and it's delivered in a format you may not expect.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


At least his first name wasn't Fudge

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Is drunk posting legal here?

Ahahahah. I'm in Thunderdome. Of course it is.

Submit retards.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Looks like poo poo is closed. The rest of you talked a big talk, but you weren't cock o' the walk.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I also support budgie even though I didn't actually read what he wrote, but I trust him to not be a retard like the rest of you.

I also support shunning you from thunderdome for X period of time if you don't follow through on whatever system is elected. The Fiction Farm was expanded to allow for TD stories to be posted there.

So don't bitch about crits ever again.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Lit Mag Goonrush

Submit your literary feces to the following place: http://boundoff.com/submit/

It's cool because it's a "mag" that reads your story aloud and only buys the rights for that recording, leaving the rest of your rights to you, so you don't lose poo poo for getting accepted and can publish it elsewhere. Read, understand, and follow the guidelines so you can maybe have your story read by a real human being and make a whole $20. I'd gladly pay that much to make sure you all never wrote again.

Proof must be posted, as before, for consideration for winning. Shame falls on those too cowardly to do it. Those accepted should post proof to encourage the failures among us.

Go show them how the loving TD rolls, fuckers.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Looks like at least someone is swinging a pair.

I just want you fuckers to know that you keep me up at night. Literally. Mostly with rage, but--ya know. Up all night for you all the same.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Re: Bracer

Send it an worry about it later. If they accept it, tell them to keep the dough. It's only twenty bucks. Then, you have no conflict.

Also marry me.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


So... is that a yes to the marriage proposal?

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I wish someone would make a thread where you're allowed to post short fiction pieces for criticism and had a rule about reciprocation.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Srsly, folks.

Just go to the Fiction Farm (http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3527097) and start posting your stuff. Harass people into following suit to post and critique. That's the place for the after-party. Pretend any rules except the reciprocation rule do not apply and make that thread good. Don't even worry about word-count until it becomes an issue. The word-count rules were always counter-productive anyway. We made this thread kick rear end, so we can make the others kick rear end as well.

Stop worrying and learn to love the bomb.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


next time circle the two "Accepted" marks in red and follow up with a

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I usually just attach a picture of my junk for cover letters. If you are using google chrome and hold left control while scrolling in, it's pretty impressive.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Is this Babar's house?

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I've been reading your stories, and I can't stop sneezing. I literally just sneezed three times writing that last sentence. I think I'm allergic to poo poo writing.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


He's the OP dude, so it looks like we'll have it all together whenever he gets home.

I'm getting close to done and will have my picks sent and comments posted once my chili is cookin'

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


I'm in even though I can't win. I just think you all should listen to me try to read while drunk.

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Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


also, ya'll should pop out a piece you haven't published (but hopefully have worked on) to here http://www.kenyonreview.org/contests/short-fiction/

<1200 words, free, and a big name mag. Just do it for kicks and don't get your hopes up. Try to get it nice and polished and follow the rules/format though because they're kinda swanky.

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