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  • Locked thread
Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Thunderdome is back for a new year, but it ain't shiny and new. It's still stained with the dried blood and pulped brains of past contestants. The stands still ring with the cries of the blood-hungry masses. The judges still sit their carven chairs, staffs of bone, skull, and human skin in their hands. The Thunderdome is eternal, indomitable.

This is a weekly flash fiction contest. The word stinkyhole is ever-changing, the prompt always new and often absurd. The rules are whatever the maddened, often drunken brains of the judges come up with. A given week's rules could be anything from each competitor pitted against another with a unique prompt per duel, to the normal individual entries for one prompt, to domerushing a literary magazine with the entries.

There will always be a winner and A Loser. The winner will become the judge for the next week, the loser will receive the Thunderdome Loser standard shame-atar, courtesy of neonnoodle.

The number of judges will always be Three, unless I or another boss judge says otherwise. One judge will always be the winner of the prior week's contest. The judges convene behind-the-scenes to decide prompt, rules, and deadline, and then again at the end of the contest to determine winner and loser.

At least one boss judge will always be a member of the Three. Boss judges will rotate on a basis of "when we loving feel like it."

Boss Judges

The Original Three
Martello
Erik Shawn-Bohner
Stuporstar

Those Deemed Worthy
HiddenGecko
Sitting Here
SurreptitiousMuffin
Fanky Malloons
sebmojo
twinkle cave
budgieinspector

He Who Keeps Coming Back for More
Chairchucker

Weekly contests are the main event, here. The retarius against the murmillo, the homplomachus crossing blades against the thraex. But there is another type of bloodshed that will take place in this profaned arena. The Thunderduel, one 'domer against his sister. This is the animal show, the occasional naval battle. The off-schedule, off-kilter one-on-one informal contest. The glove of the Thunderduel may be thrown down at any time, for any reason or none at all. A judge can be chosen by the defender or may step up of his own accord. The judge will not be one of the Three for that week. Thunderduel's will last for as many rounds as the challenger offers, but always an odd number.

Critiques in-thread are fine and useful. Responding to them isn't. Write, read your feedback, shut the gently caress up, and get better. No more of this whiny back-and-forth.

This is Thunderdome, you teary-eyed, weak-bellied baby bitches. Verbal abuse is not just allowed but expected. Thin skins can gtfo. Now get those fingertips to your filthy, goopy keys. And make your Papa proud.

synirc #thunderdome

Martello fucked around with this message at Apr 14, 2013 around 17:37

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Thunderdome links and records page. Put thunderdome in each field.

Martello fucked around with this message at Dec 27, 2013 around 03:16

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


HiddenGecko posted:

bunch of horseshit I didn't read

No crit for me, huh? Typical.

Also, not in. I'm leaving for the beautiful Ft Polk, Louisiana at 0830 tomorrow, so using Army "backwards planning" that means I need to show up to draw my rifle at 2100 tonight, then drop my bags off to be loaded at 0200. Then we get 6 hours to wait around to board the plane. This is to ensure nobody is late.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


For judges, now and future: neonnoodle is the new CC mod. Make sure he gets a PM on who needs a losertar every week.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Noah posted:

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

Just find the post, copy the link, paste it into a PM to neonnoodles, and I believe he can edit it out. Not sure if it works differently with Goldmined threads, though.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


So since I know all 'domers are interested in my life, this is where I'm at right now in the "flying to Fort Polk LA" process. We got to the company to draw weapons from the arms room at 2100. This was decided by the NCOs, even though we didn't need to go down to the motorpool (big parking lot for military trucks) until 0100. Now, I knew it wouldn't take four hours to draw weapons, but the NCOs got very excitable when I gently suggested it even though I can obviously say "we're drawing weapons at 2300, end of story, loving move out." I like to give them leeway with things like that because equipment moving around is an NCO thing. And now, since the guys are all sitting around bullshitting and I'm in my office typing on the something awful dot com internet humor forums, I can throw this in their faces next time they feel like drawing weapons 36 hours prior to a flight or whatever.

Beyond my control, we're still showing up at the airfield at 0130 when we don't fly til 0830. I don't know what the gently caress either. Good thing I'm well trained in sleeping with my head on my assault pack.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


BlackFrost posted:

Sure, I'll bite. I haven't written poetry since High School (more of a prose guy), but this is the Thunderdome, and I expect to be hurting by the time it ends.

Flash rule: Must be a haiku (can be longer than three lines, to meet the criteria of the thread. So just go 5-7-5 over and over). If someone deems this rule as "Terrible Garbage" I'll come up with a different one.

Your lack of bravado - terrible garbage

Own that rule, son

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


HiddenGecko posted:

Double Post.

Martello. Could you pretty please judge a Thunderbrawl between me and Iroel. I need someone with the terrifying hard tack you're made up of.

I will do it, but I can't promise reliability. I'm using my phone from a shithole WWII barracks in Fort Polk, Louisiana and I won't always have time or data access. But if you're cool with that I'll still do it.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Chairchucker posted:

Not in because I'm stuck on base and reliant on Maccas for occasional free WiFi and my room on base doesn't even have a chair what the hell is up with that and no it's not my fault I didn't touch it but seriously there is no real way to use a laptop in a room with no furniture and while I'm complaining about my room there are holes in my mattress, what's that all about?

Also my name's in the OP woo I don't really know what that means but that's cool. And I haven't read most of this thread because, and not to look free WiFi in the mouth, but this internet is just terrible and hasn't finished loading page two I don't think.

Anyway hopefully will be back in here for realsies for writing some bad awesome fiction once I have my own place and internet that doesn't require me to sign an agreement saying that I'm not gonna use it for porn or files or whatever that thing said OK cool peace out y'all.

On base? Where and what service or are you talking about something else?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


.

Martello fucked around with this message at Apr 9, 2013 around 04:54

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


.

Martello fucked around with this message at Apr 9, 2013 around 04:55

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


A domer asked Martello, "Why should I waste time on flash fiction when I'm trying to finish my brilliant novel?"

Martello replied, "I certainly like both pork chops and prosciutto!"

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

It's more like "why are you applying to work in a French Restaurant if you can't cook ramen."

That's not obtuse enough. It's a koan you kunt.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


.

Martello fucked around with this message at Apr 9, 2013 around 04:56

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Maybe we should make a separate spinoff thread for Thunderbrawl. What do you guys think?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Didn't pipes! rule "no spinoff threads"?

Yeah but he's gone. Also this is different than before. I'll talk to neonnoodle.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Etherwind posted:

poesy, son



Is this the same Etherwind I see?
He who quailed and quibbled so?
A warrior now, casting words like arrows.
Poetry like the mightiest army marching in the sun.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

Pregnancy

eight equals capital d,
tilde times three
ejaculate
e-jac
you late?

I proposed for love,
I swear.
Why does everyone think,
Motherfucker must have put
A bun in that oven?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Everyone shut the gently caress up about American dollars and Catholic charities and I don't know what the gently caress, thanks in advance.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Great Horny Toads! posted:

So, is the word "stinkyhole" ever-changing, or is it a stinkyhole made of words? Do the words change, or the stinkyhole? Is it a talking stinkyhole? A 365-day calendar stinkyhole with, like, a different word and definition every day?
cuntcuntcunt

A domer asked Martello, "What is the meaning and purpose behind your usage of the word stinkyhole?"
Martello replied, "A 120-pound goblet squat."

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


SC Bracer posted:

Can I just sign up for the next one regardless of what the prompt is (or how terrifying) because I haven't been making good use of this account at all. Not even close to enough Thunderdome in my life and/or post history.

gently caress yeah you can. Welcome back.

Noah posted:

edit: also, I know it's been said before, but jesus christ stop defending your piece. It doesn't matter if someone rips it to shreds, it's gonna happen to everyone here. This back and forth is obnoxious and just adds to the clutter.

Quoted fo mothafuckin TRUTH

Like I said last week or whatever, fuckin write and crit and shitpost, stop careposting and talking about stresses and whether a penis dipped in horseshit is descriptivist or Lutheran or whatever the gently caress. I'm going black on comms for six or so days, and if I come back and this type of assfuckery is still going on, some weird loving flash rules will be coming down on the guilty.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:

1a)Been away from the 'dome mostly, sorry about that I know everyone was fretting of course.

1b)I am In for the next round

2)Hidden Gecko I will have your crit in a bit

3a)Slightly surprised my poem got a positive mention in judgement, gonna go blow myself now.

3b)Balls

1a. I was fretting.
1b. I'm in dismay because you didn't answer my last email.
2. HiddenGecko is a Hun.
3a. I didn't read it but it probably did suck.
3b. Mine are huge and made of solid tungsten. Just a PSA.

twinkle cave posted:

Dammit to hell. Just come up with something awesome between you two as I won't be around the internet until this weekend. I will of course do my duties judging.

Sweet avatar brother.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Back from the field for a couple days.

Everyone read Elmore Leonard. He's loving sick.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Noah posted:

I actually think this is an amazing line haha. Without the existence of the shorter one, this would be quite a doozy.

Yeah but only as comedy. supermisha would use it as a serious line.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:

Also to our newly appointed glorious beloved despot neonnoodle, be gentle with the Thunderdome

neon, don't listen to this woman. Thunderdome likes it rough.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I was chatting with ESB about this and we decided that since the RESURGENT thing is going to be pretty rare, we were going to take the cost ourselves.

Ultraloser is a different kettle of fish though: there's only going to be more and more as time goes on. Should we scrap it and leave Chairchucker alone with the av?

Chairchucker is MY bottom bitch, please stop slobbering over his sweet Aussie rear end with your filthy Kiwi jowels. I bought him the Ultraloser avatar and there won't be any other ultralosers unless I say there will.

For the record, there have been no free unique avatars handed out here since I think Week 2 if even. The unique avs have all been bought by somebody.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Saddest Rhino posted:

I'm a baby bitch irl and would be happy to help

ftfy lol

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Maybe try clicking your own avatar link instead of being a giant retard baby...

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:

DON'T GASLIGHT ME YOU BURLY PIGDOG

No, I'm not turning up the heat little by little. It's been set on 80 since it got cold in late November. Stop imagining things. We'll have to talk to Dr. Harrington tomorrow if you keep this up.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


We're not doing that mandatory crit thing. Thunderdome is too fast-paced and there are too many contestants for judges to have to commit to critiquing each and every entry. Like ESB and I have said many times, the Fiction Farm is right there.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > Bitchingdome '13 - Carepost and whine about not getting enough crits here please

tldr shut up and write flash fiction thanks in advance

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Capntastic posted:

For providing us with the absolutely gut-sickening line of '“HOW!?” shouts the enraged Austrian, ', which is all caps, uses an interrobang, telling us the guy is enraged while also telling us he's shouting, our loser this week is CancerCakes.


lol

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


In

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


If I wasn't the lord and master of this circus and entered a story and lost (hahahaha like that would ever happen) I'd probably just be like "oh man I lost, guess I'll try harder next time and keep this cool losertar for a few weeks before I buy my old one back" instead of defending my interrobangs and fingerbangs and whatnot.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


There will be a "sexiest voice" award this week, fyi. Selection will be on a strictly scientific basis through polling me and other people I feel like asking.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

Might want to fix your typo where you added an extra l there.

Quoting just in case you decide to change this really bad humor joke you posted in response to my serious post about rules in the thunderdome

Vicarious embarrassment to the max bro

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Old-school Hollywood baseball

Me and Franky Avalon

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

Apparently it's a free for all. Jesus.

gently caress I should have manned up and jumped on after I was finished having SECKS but I was liek so tired

Let's do it again faggots

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Haha Rhino you sound like Chairman Shen-Ji Yang from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.

That's actually a compliment.

My gift to industry is the genetically engineered worker, or Genejack. Specially designed for labor, the Genejack's muscles and nerves are ideal for his task, and the cerebral cortex has been atrophied so that he can desire nothing except to perform his duties. Tyranny, you say? How can you tyrannize someone who cannot feel pain?

- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, "Essays on Mind and Matter"

Canadian Surf Club posted:

Maybe it's time for a Thunderdome IRC? That could actually solve some problems re: judge collaboration, communal critiquing, etc.

Good idea. I dunno how to make IRC things otherwise I'd do it.

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