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Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
CONGRATS TO Saffron by Captain_Indigo as the winner of this contest!

CONGRATS TO Dungeons, Inc. by DirkGently for Best D&D!


UnCO3 posted:

Ad Blurbs and Outlines
1) Tellurian by Error 404
2) Time Gladiators by Jon Joe
3) 迷宮&竜の罰ゲーム by MikanV
4) Letters by Dagon
5) Age of Dinosaurs by Dire Human
6) Metamorphosis Hill by Humbug Scoolbus and outline here
7) Open World by Gau and outline here
8) Die Underground by Golden Bee
9) FIVE FINGERS OF FRIENDSHIP by Ominous Jazz
10) Microfantasia by MadRhetoric
11) Swordsmen and Sorcerers by neongrey
12) Virtuemancy by TheSoundNinja
13) Monsters & MurderHobos by Splicer and outline here
14) Robosaur: the time war by Cardinal Ximenez and ad blurb here
15) Dungeon Adventure by Rulebook Heavily
16) Dungeons and Dragons: Core by Barudak and Minutia
17) Saffron by Captain_Indigo
18) Adventure Friends! by Fuego Fish
19) Hellhole by PixelScum
20) Houses and Hauntings by Alien Rope Burn
21) Caverns and Wyrms by lord_daeloth
22) Empyrean by Etherwind (RIP) and Reene
23) Sawn-Off Shadowrun by ELF Captain Hats
24) Dungeons, Inc. by DirkGently
25) RetrOS by Gr3y
26) KOBOLD: Super Shortened Edition by mepstein73 and LowellDnD
27) DnD: Greatest Hits by eth0.n
28) Heroes of the Fallen Lands by Angrymog
29) Campfire by piL
30) Base Circumstance by bahamut
31) Abomination by UnCO3

Reviews: 1-17, 18-25, 26-31

Progress
1) Die Underground by Golden Bee
2) Dungeons, Inc. by DirkGently
3) Tellurian by Error 404
4) 迷宮&竜の罰ゲーム by Mikan
5) Age of Dinosaurs by Dire Human
6) Dungeon Adventure by Rulebook Heavily
7) Open World by Gau
8) Time Gladiators by Jon Joe
9) Letters by Dagon
10) Saffron by Captain_Indigo
11) Robosaur: the time war by Cardinal Ximenez
12) Caverns and Wyrms by lord_daeloth
13) Microfantasia by MadRhetoric
14) KOBOLD: Super Shortened Edition by mepstein73 and LowellDnD
15) Dungeons and Dragons: Core by Barudak and Minutia
16) Swordsmen and Sorcerers by neongrey
17) Sawn-Off Shadowrun by Captain Hats
18) Base Circumstance by bahamut
19) Houses and Hauntings by Alien Rope Burn
20) Adventure Friends! by Fuego Fish
21) Virtuemancy by TheSoundNinja
22) Empyrean by Etherwind and Reene
23) DnD: Greatest Hits by eth0.n
24) Abomination by UnCO3
25) RetrOS by Gr3y
26) Hellhole by PixelScum THE SHAMEFULLY LATE

Drop-outs: Humbug Scoolbus, Ominous Jazz, Splicer, Angrymog, piL.

Reviews: 2-9, 1/17/10-13, 14-16/18-21, 22-26

Full Rules
1) Tellurian by Error 404
2) Open World by Gau
3) Microfantasia by MadRhetoric
4) Caverns and Wyrms by lord_daeloth
5) 迷宮&竜の罰ゲーム by Mikan
6) Virtuemancy by TheSoundNinja submitted for short review
7) Saffron by Captain_Indigo submitted for short review
8) Dungeons, Inc. by DirkGently
9) Dungeons and Dragons: Core by Barudak and Minutia submitted for short review
10) Swordsmen and Sorcerers by neongrey
11) RetrOS by Gr3y
12) Houses and Hauntings by Alien Rope Burn
13) Abomination by UnCO3
14) DnD: Greatest Hits by eth0.n
15) Robosaur: the time war by Cardinal Ximenez
16) Kobold: Super Short Edition by mepstein73
Drop-outs: Golden Bee, Dire Human, Rulebook Heavily, Jon Joe, Dagon, LowellDnD, Captain Hats, bahamut, Fuego Fish, Etherwind and Reene, PixelScum.

Reviews: not done yet

Playtesting
Not done yet

Hello TG! Not too long ago a conversation began in the D&D Next Thread

Winson_Paine posted:

This thread is hitting the bumpy slopes down to becoming Grogs.txt Jr. again or at least sort of a brain damaged version of the design thread where no one talks about what D&D is or has been and instead hares off on what they would want it to be in some place that never existed. I am going to suggest a constructive thing for the next contest, I will need someone to run/judge it to take some of the pressure off and maybe make this thread a little less shite.

and then this was said

Ulta posted:

Maybe something along the lines of getting to a true basic core. Design something that is D&D, but you only have 2 pages, single space, times new roman, 12 point font.

and thus The February Design Contest was decided




But fear not fans of games other than D&D! Entries for any system, condensed version of other games or entirely original will be accepted and judged. D&D entries will not gain any special advantage in the main competition! Dungeons and Dragons inspired entries will be, however, eligible for an additional prize!

Objective

At the end of the month, you must have a fully playable game system that fits the textual format described below.

Format

Ulta posted:

There seems to be some confusion on this, my ambiguous wording, so I'm adding this to the OP.


Your final product can be in any format you like. If I suspect you have written too much, I will ask for all the text, stripped of formatting, then put in single space, times new roman, 12 point font on Google Docs. This will be used to evaluate length, and nothing else. This requirement is independent of the space requirement.

The space requirement gives your final product 374 square inches to present itself. This is 4 sides of A4 paper. You do not have to use A4 paper. If I suspect you have taken too much space, I will measure.


Officially, all of the text of your final product must fit on two pages, single spaced, times new roman, 12 point font. I will be using Google Drive to judge this, so if you are unsure, put your stuff in there.

"Ah ha!" says the clever goon "I will use pictures and take as many pages as I want."

Sorry, I do not have time to look at your RPG in comic book form. In addition to the above stipulation You final product must fit on 4 sides of 8.5 by 11 inches pieces of paper (aka A4, or basic printer paper). This means if you were to print your final product on both sides of the paper, it would take two pieces of paper. You can also get creative if you wish, as long as you stick to the prescribed area. A single sided poster 17 by 22 inches would also be acceptable for example.

Also formatting, presentation and fluff will be a significant part of scoring this time around

Rules

1. Discussion abut your game and how to condense D&D into a sweet nugget of playing in your parents basement when you were twelve is certainly allowed and encouraged, but edition warring, D&D Next bashing, and general unpleasantness will get you kicked from the contest faster than a monk with barbarian levels.

2. Lateness! Strictly bad and unacceptable. February is the shortest month, so I do not have time to deal with late things. I am a busy man with many important papers and important appointments and these video games will not play themselves.

3. One game per entrant. Up to two authors per game!

4. The overall winner and the D&D winner may be the same person.

5. A play test is a prerequisite for even being considered eligible for prizes!

6. The format of the contest should be familiar to you all now. Outlines will be due Feb. 3 at Midnight GMT. Part 1 will be done Feb 10th Midnight GMT, Part 2 will be due the 17th Midnight GMT, and the final play test must be in by Feb 28th Midnight GMT

The outlines, parts 1 and 2 will be judged on a 10 point scale, with bonus objectives. Any score of 8 or above will net you a bonus, which will be used in the case of a tie. A score of 0 will disqualify you from the contest.

The final contest will be judged slightly differently. Up to 5 points will be awarded for Presentation, Up to 5 points will be awarded for Fluff, Up to 10 points for how the actual play test goes. Once again the most important part of this contest is how your play test goes. A great presentation will not save clunky mechanics.

Carrying over from last contest, you may play test your own game, but incentives will be offered to play test others games.

Prizes
Lets get to the good stuff

There are two tiers of prizes for this contest! For the overall winner, they will have the following choices!

$50 for a charity of your choice, donated in your name!*

or

$30 Gift Certificate for DrivethruRPG!

or

a forum upgrade!

Like heroes in all great stories, a moral choice must be made! RPGs, internet cred, or helping the townsfolk!

Second place gets to watch in envy.

On the D&D side of things, conveniently DrivethruRPG has started stocking Dungeons and Dragons pdfs. The winner of the D&D contest will get a package of these pdfs based on their preferences, approximately a 30 dollar value.

*said charity must be a registered US 501(c) organization


Inspiration



Look at this game. This is what I am holding up as something that would win.



Humor is also a valid way to go!

Outline and Ad blurb

Your Project Outline must contain no less than half a page of text and no more than five pages. If you write 5 pages, this does not bode well for your final product, and you will have to do trimming for the next part. Your ad blurb (a short pitch of the game, as if going on the back of the book) must be no more than 250 words. Yes, like all the other times, we’re demanding an ad blurb.

If your organization involves wiki or Google docs, I will copy the whole thing into Word in size 12 Times New Roman single column and line spacing and check for myself. More detailed and complete project outlines will be regarded more highly.

The outline and blurb may be presented separately or together: however, they must be clearly marked as such (title and mark not included in the total word count) and the actual outline must still fill half a page on its own. Your blurb is not an outline.

Scoring for Outline Ad blurb

I am stealing Mors Rattus's judging rubric for this outline.

1. How complete and detailed your outline is and how clear your goals for the game is. A good project outline is a strong step towards completion. You will be rated from 0 to 5, with points awarded for Clarity (how easy your outline is to understand for someone not privy to your thoughts), Completeness (How many of the required rules modules and their component elements you plan ahead) and Concept (not just how interesting it is, but also how interesting you make it seem). Completeness is worth up to three points, the other two up to one each. I will be posting no further guidelines as to what Completeness entails.

2. How engaging your ad blurb is. A bad blurb is one that starts on "I guess it's like a game of romance or something" and will rate low. A good blurb is like a tiny textual orgasm that starts off slow and builds to a climax. You will be rated from 0 to 5 based on the construction of your blurb. Your goal is to sell me on what your game is about, its concepts and on wanting to try it for myself. If you want to know more, there is plenty of information on what a good blurb entails available online and I will be posting no further guidelines on it in this thread.

Bonus Objectives
1. Call the shot - Declare what prize you will be taking and why. If you chose the charity, name the charity and why its good. If you take the gift card, provide a link to what you will be buying. The forum upgrade doesn't count for this one

2. I like dinosaurs - Somehow incorporate dinosaurs into your outline or ad blurb. Basically pander to me.

3. Gary's Ghost - Have a quote from Gygax or some other "founder" incorporated in your outline. Yes it must be an actual quote and should make sense in context.


NO OUTLINE MAY BE POSTED BEFORE THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY. TO DO SO IS DISQUALIFICATION. Feel free to bandy about ideas however.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Barudak posted:

Does the final 2 page product count as including our ad blurb? Also are we allowed to include excel documentation provided it fits on the two pages?

I've been thinking about this concept since it got posted Winson. I got my charts all fired up.

As long as the text can be contained within the two typed pages, and the charts themselves fit within the presentation area. Charts are a good way to say a lot with a small amount of words and space and are therefore encouraged.

The ad blurb does not have to appear in your final product, but it may if you want it to. So no.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Dungeons and Dragons is like art, I know it when I see it.

I don't want to put down explicit guidelines for what constitutes Dungeons and Dragons because D&D means different things different people, and there's 4+ different versions out there. When it comes down to it, I'll read the thing and decide, but when I do I'll keep in mind authorial intent.

To be more vague, is the fluff what makes D&D? is it the mechanical structure? is it spells and d20s? Is it cutting a ladder in half to get two poles and selling the poles for a profit? is it chokeslaming an orc? Is it just being in a dungeon and fighting a dragon? These are things you have to decide for yourself and communicate in the space allowed.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Etherwind posted:

Does the final "four sides" limit include a character sheet? I'm not asking out of some clever subterfuge to get around the text restriction.

Edit: I would like to make a nice character sheet to go with the idea I have, but if it counts toward the limit then gently caress it, players can make their own.

This is a contest where one of the challenges is economy. Also, a lot of rules can be conveyed in a character sheet. Therefore, any formal character sheet will count towards the text/space limit.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Character sheets
Character sheets absolutely count towards the space limit. I may be convinced that individual character sheets count as "pictures" if they contain no "new" rules content AND wording is very sparse. Sparse is a subjective term, but if a sentence appears, that's definitely not sparse. No garuntees here, and remember the spirit of the challenge is condensing. More points will definitely be awarded to those that integrate the character sheet into actual rules explanation.

Rifts
Like the D&D explaination above, Rifts means different things to different people. It's up to you to make that call. As someone who like the utter battshit crazy setting but hates the ruleset, this is a good thing to try.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

MadRhetoric posted:

Time to storygame all up in here.

Ether, I could probably help you with your writing/editing. If I do that, Ulta, am I disqualified from submitting a personal game?

Helping is fine. I am not the helping police. Helping does not disqualify you from submitting your own game.

Splicer posted:

The way I read the OP was that if you stripped the text of all formatting it would fit on two A4 pages, single spaced, times new roman, 12 point font. With formatting and pictures and stuff it must fit on 4 sides of 8.5 by 11 inches pieces of A4 paper.

This is correct on the text side. Without formatted, you have the two pages. In terms of space, you have 374 inches squared to work with, which is 4 sides of 8.5 by 11 inches pieces of A4 paper, or a single side of a poster 17 by 22 inches, or eight 2.125 by 2.75 inches notecards with stuff on each side .

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

xezton posted:

I checked the last thread, but I figured I'd ask here just to clarify:
  • The outline (Feb 3) is basically a rough draft of our idea, right?
  • Then "part 1" (Feb 10) is a progress check/first draft (not an outline)?
  • And finally "part 2" (Feb 17) is a complete game ready for playtesting?

Lastly, we can use original content, but it has to be a roleplaying system, right? Or can this be condensed rules for any style of game?

I don't really have much experience making games, but I've always been interested in rules-lite systems, so this sounds fun!

The scedual you defined is about right. The Feb 17th deadline must have a game ready for playtest, but revisions and formatting things are allowed till the actual end of the contest.

If your asking if you can do a boardgame, the answer is no. The same compression of ideas just doesn't translate. Two pages of rules, a board and a page of cutouts actually sounds pretty standard and uncompressed to me. I'd be ok with a tactics "miniatures" game, since the compression seems comparable. What style were you thinking of?

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

ZeeToo posted:

Well, I've already got some ambitious ideas about this. We'll just have to see what I can come up with.

Does a chart count for the total word spacing requirement or no? Or do we take just the actual words stripped of formatting for that?

Technically, yes. If ten or so words is going to break you, be careful, but you might slip in under the "character sheet" ruling. Don't try and break the spirit of the contest.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Error 404 posted:

Oh man, I can't wait for this to start!

One other question though: how important will setting fluff be in this contest?

My idea, so far, is more centered around the players and GM creating the world as they play. I'm totally going to add a default setting, but it's very much secondary to the free form aspects of play.

Fluff will be 5 points out of a possible 20 in the final score. 5 for presentation, 10 for how well/fun the playtest went.

Fluff does not exclusively mean metaplot. D&D in all editions has a lot of implied fluff in how you build a character.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

I have an Urban Fantasy take that might work.

Can I post the logo without fear of being disqualified?

Let's save all that till the contest officially starts.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Evil Mastermind posted:

Would two PocketMod books count as "two pages"?

If you put all the text in a Google Doc, single spaced, times new roman, 12 point font. Looking at this http://www.pocketmod.com/, two Pocketmod books made with A4 paper would meet the maximum space requirement.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Captain_Indigo posted:

I'm a little shaky on how copyright works with elfgames, but I presume writing shortened versions of things would be frowned upon if you were planning on making a profit from them, but probably okay if not. Is the same true of artwork? I'm basically asking do we have to produce all the artwork ourselves, or can we steal stuff from GIS or deviantart or whatever?

Copywrite in games is very weird. Mechanics, such as rolling a d20, flipping a card, dice pools, at-will/encounter/daily etc, are not protected by copywrite. This is one of the reason why you can have the whole OSR movement and you can find generic "stacking blocks" next to Jenga. Specific words like "beholder" and "Paladin of Corym", and "Dungeons and Dragons" are protected, which is why you don't see beholders in the SRD. I could, for example, a sell 4th ed compatible class, but I can't say "This is for use with 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons" (without first signing the GSL). Someone correct me if I'm wrong here.

Pictures are copywrited as soon as they are drawn by the creator, so selling something with someone else's artwork is very bad. If you are going to use someone else's artwork for this contest, at a minimum, you need to credit them under the artwork, link to somewhere relevant, and make a good faith effort to get permission. That said, I can't score artwork that you get from elsewhere in any other aspect other than its placement. It might look cool and badass, but an appropriately placed stick figure might net you more points.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Alien Rope Burn posted:

If I'm using a two-column layout, is that viable, or do I have to assume the formatting will be stripped out for judging?

It seems like an efficient way to use the page space for a project like this.

There seems to be some confusion on this, my ambiguous wording, so I'm adding this to the OP.


Your final product can be in any format you like. If I suspect you have written too much, I will ask for all the text, stripped of formatting, then put in single space, times new roman, 12 point font on Google Docs. This will be used to evaluate length, and nothing else. This requirement is independent of the space requirement.

The space requirement gives your final product 374 square inches to present itself. This is 4 sides of A4 paper. You do not have to use A4 paper. If I suspect you have taken too much space, I will measure.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
It is currently Feb 1st in GMT, so the embargo against outlines is now lifted.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Jon Joe posted:

Time Gladiators


If this is an ad blurb/outline, I can't tell where one starts and the other begins. Otherwise good.

To everyone in general Please make sure to clearly label your ad blurb and outline

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Etherwind posted:

Can I just check: by Midnight February third you mean tomorrow, right? Not tonight?

Correct. Tomorrow, Midnight GMT, that's Tomorrow 7PM EST. I hear there is some kind of superb owl fighting a raven and a lot of people are going to watch it?

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Angrymog posted:

Is it too late to get in on this?

Don't be discouraged by the lack of time. This is the least important part of the competition (in terms of scoring), so as long as you get something up, you might receive a very low score, but it is really negligible if you can develop the concept in time for the next deadline

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
And time is up

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
You now have one week, until midnight GMT on February 10th, to complete the next stage of the contest.

You must have at "significant progress" on your game done. What is "significant progress"? I'm not going to define it, but I think you all know what this means. Also, the text and space limits now apply. Start cutting if you have too much stuff.

Entries in this round will be scored on how clear you express your ideas, how interesting I find them, and how entertained I am by reading them. Once again, you will be scored on a 1 to 10 scale, with scores over 8 earning a bonus. There are bonus objectives for this round too.


Bonus objectives (Do as many as you like, but all you need is one)
1. Spread the Word - Apparently this contest is gathering some outside attention, which I consider a good thing. Stew Wilson of WW got inspired and put one up on DTRPG. Do something to spread the word to the outside
2. Pass it on - Lots of you called the shot for the charity, which is good. Post in the thread some good work you did that actually helped people (or animals, plants, etc) and give me a positive vibe.
3. The Shortening 2: Even Shorter - Hit a Dude is the shortest RPG I know of. Come up with an RPG in 45 characters or less(that includes title) and put it on an image 113px by 199 px or less

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

UnCO3 posted:

Here's my entry for The Shortening 2: Even Shorter, ahead of schedule.



With MurderTM you can experience the most brutally aggressive throes of the human condition! 44 characters, 162px wide, 31px tall (I've done it assuming that the orientation of the dimensions doesn't matter but I can change it if it's supposed to be 113 wide and 199 tall).

Really should have put the "and playtest" stipulation in there, but I didn't. Orientation is fine.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
I believe I counted 32 entries. I've got 17 done, and I'm not doing any more tonight. I am super pleased by the quality of the work I have witness so far and there isn't a game so far that doesn't have the potential to win it all. Most of the points were taken off for clarity and formatting and also because I am a miserable troll. I will attempt to get more done tomorrow, but as I explained before, I am a busy man with many papers to push around and Far Cry 3 to play, so it will be later in the evening.

Tellurian


Ad Blurb
A good blurb. I want to know more about these foreign places. I also like that I know its about heroes doing cool stuff. A little generic, but I am excited.

3 / 5

Outline

There seems to be a lot in this game! I hope you can fit it all. There are some minor formatting issues, but it seems like you have a good handle on your base mechanic. I have an idea what an Ability, Feat, and Stunt are. Theres a plan here on where to go and what needs to be done. Your fluff is interesting also. Is it D&D? I’m not ready to make the call on this one yet. It reads a little generic fantasy, but we will see.

4 / 5

Bonus: Quotes and dinos. +1

Total: 8/10 Tellurian earns a bonus
Is it D&D: Probably



Time Gladiators


Ad Blurb
A little short, but puns. I like puns. Lacks that big punch unfortunately.

2 / 5

Outline
The conversational style works for the outline for a gonzo game like this, but formatting is a little lacking. It seems you have the mechanics well mapped in your head. I like the flavor of the game, and it appears simple enough to execute within the space allowed. Also more puns! This seems like this could be a really fun game. I really liked Ettin’s Retrocausality, so if you can pull off something like that, but with its own distinct features, you’ll be a serious contender for first. Be warned, things getting too confusing in play might be your downfall

4 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot, Dinosaur spotted
Total 7 /10 Just a hair shy of a Bonus
Is it D&D: Nope.

迷宮&竜の罰ゲーム

Ad Blurb

Gets the tone across well. Dramatic ending is always a plus. The opening is a little flat, if informative. I know what kind of game I’m getting in for

4 / 5

Outline

It feels like a complete system almost. I do question what happens if you get into a situation where no one is laughing and the pantomime has been taken to its logical conclusion. Character creation seems interesting. I like games that intersect what you're actually doing and what's going on in the narrative. You’ve got a path forward, possibly to first place. You’re in a little danger of not being D&D, just because the mechanics are so untraditional, but the fluff (and title) keeps you tied down.

5 / 5

Bonus: Didn’t see one
Total: 9/10 but didn’t need on 迷宮&竜の罰ゲームearns a Bonus
Is it D&D: More than likely.

Letters


Ad Blurb

The quote is... confusing but it also draws me in. A little dry, but informative. I like how it sells its system neutrality and how it can be used as a subsystem

4 / 5

Outline

This one is interesting, and I’m wondering where you will take it. Your outline clearly spells out the rules for the system, hints at further rules. Is writing poems back and forth enough for a game? We’ll find out. This one could be a dark horse.

5 / 5

Bonus: Wick quote, Dino quote, and shot called
Total 10/10
Outside my window
I see the sun on grass.
Inside I shiver.
Is there a winning game here?
For now, bonus is earned.
Is it D&D:
The dogs play, barking
They remind me of silly kids
Playing their silly games.
Dragons and underground caves are not
contained within this great work.



Age of Dinosaurs


Ad Blurb

Starts with a dramatic buildup, and a really appropriate quote. I know this game is about killing dinosaurs and using whatever toys you have around to do it with. Also “Dino Master”. Ha! I like it.

5 / 5

Outline

This is an interesting concept. As someone who had/has a lot of plastic dino toys, it sounds fun to break those out. There are a lot of mechanical questions I have, and I also have doubts about space, but I will be delighted if you prove me wrong. Hopefully this one doesn't bite off more than it can chew. The compatibility with 4th ed is an interesting twist.

4 / 5

Bonus: Its called Age of Dinosaurs, a good Gygax quote, and a called shot

Total 10/10. A bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Yes

Saffron


Ad Blurb

Evocative and dramatic. I’m hooked. I know this is a game about being a paladin, fighting evil and falling prey to it.

5 / 5

Outline

Well formated, written in a dramatic style. You have your design goals and reason well laid out. A big glaring hole is mechanics for Falling, which I can’t seem to find. You’ve got a good way forward, but it seems like a lot of stuff to stick into a small space. Hopefully you can do it. I’m not going to make a call on if this is D&D or not yet.

4 / 5

Bonus: Quotes, called shot, and is see Raptorland in there
Total 10/10 a bonus is earned.
Is it D&D: Maybe

Metamorphosis Hill


Ad Blurb

Another good outline. A western frontier theme with a shot of the weird west is very apparent.

3/5

Outline

The barest of minimum. There are some words here that seem like a skeleton of a game, but no meat.

1 / 5

Bonus: Called shot!
Total: 4 / 10. No bonus.
Is it D&D: No. It’s probably Gamma World though.


Open World


Ad Blurb

I like this one for some reason I can’t really put down. Calling on just playing seems to be very powerful, and I like how you are selling a generic system

3/5

Outline

A little barebones, but lays out exactly what you need to do. I have a fairly good idea where you are going. If you pull it off, it will be very elegant. You might lose some points on fluff, but again, if you pull it off, will gain points in presentation.

4 / 5

Bonus: Quote
Total 8 /10 and deserving of a bonus
Is it D&D: No

Die Underground

Ad Blurb

This blurb has atmosphere. It’s selling me on a backstabbing game the takes place underground, surrounded by allies who are just as dangerous as the rest of the dungeon. Lets go die down there.

4 / 5

Outline

You've got a few words missing/formatting issues. I like the simple yet complex character creation. I don’t see the mechanics that will inspire the backstabbing promised in the blurb, nor the “on death” effect, so I hope they show up by the 10th. This one has some growing to do, but it has a lot of potential!

3 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total: 8 / 10
Is it D&D: Strongly leaning yes

FIVE FINGERS OF FRIENDSHIP

Ad Blurb

I’m taking the italicized text as the ad blurb, even though its not clearly labeled. It’s neat fluff, but it doesn’t really sell me the game. .
2/ 5

Outline
‎"A cliff with significant religious meaning could be a paladin." is my favorite sentence in the contest so far. That said, its a little hard to follow. I really love the concept you’ve presented here, D&D: Bros and Dudes (love the title btw). You've got some mechanically original stuff, but the presentation is costing you. You've got a low score here, but I feel you could pull a come from behind victory.

3 /5

Bonus: Didn't catch one
Total: 6 / 10
Is it D&D: Probably

Microfantasia

Ad Blurb

To the point and sells me on a light, fun experience. Slightly generic, but still attention grabbing

4 / 5

Outline

I understand your core mechanic, which is good. You deliver on a light, intuitive system. Written in fun style that helps the tone, Mechanics contribute too, like having the player who brought snacks go first. I like that all the commands end in “!”. A strong contender.

5 / 5

Bonus - Quote, and Dino sighted
Total 10 /10
Is it D&D: Probably

Swordsmen and Sorcerers

Ad Blurb

Not labeled, so I’m assuming the italics is your ad blurb. Its short, but funny and sets up that “kick everything down” tone.

3 / 5

Outline

I am in love with your measurement of difficulty. I am also a fan of only roll when it matters. Your mechanics are a little light. I like the idea that success is assured, its just how well you do it, and the harder something is to do, the better you look doing it. I don’t see a mechanical difference between the classes, but that might be the point. I need to see a little more, or if this is all, a little more guidance. Looking forward to this one

4 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total 8 /10 a bonus is earned
Is the D&D: Yes


Virtuemancy

Ad Blurb

Alright! Smash the system! Its probably just me, but since I read the comic strip megathread, gam has an entirely different meaning so that was distracting, but I don’t think thats something I can count against you. I’m ready to join the fight though

4 / 5

Outline

Organized and concise, and I understand you core mechanic. You’ve got some room to expand with your spellpaths. Your fluff is strong and seems well integrated to your mechanics. I’ve got a good idea what makes this system tick.

4 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total: 9 /10
Is it D&D: Probably not


Monsters & MurderHobos

Ad blurb

Its attention grabbing and funny. I know I will be murdering monsters when I play. I’m also a sucker for asterisk based humor.

5 / 5
Outline

A bit light on detail, but clear design goals and design motivations are laid out. Lack of details lowers your score however. Its incredibly ambitious, so if you pull it off, it will be something great. Good luck!

3 / 5

Bonus: Didn’t see any
Total: 8 / 10, a bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Yes

RoboSaur: the time war


Ad blurb

BUILD CONTROL FIGHT. Its to the point and short. Also PREPOSTHISTORIC is good word

4 / 5

Outline

This one has me interested. I’m wondering how much customization you can cram into a small space, but more power to you if you do. You seem to have your mechanics planned out, and they seem varied enough to be interesting.

4 / 5

Bonus: Dinosaurs (Duh) and Called Shot
Total 9 / 10


Dungeon Adventure

Ad Blurb

Builds slowly to a climax. A good ad blurb for a dungeon crawl, if a bit generic, but thats a consequence of the setting.

4 / 5

Outline

Design goals and inspiration are direct and clearly explained. The emphasis on time management is interesting and I don’t know of another game that does it. I like that the challenges to the design are also explained. I hope it all fits

4 / 5

Bonus: I see a quote
Total 9 / 10, a bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Yes




Dungeons and Dragon: Core


Ad blurb

Hits like a 18 Str fighter right out the gate, and tells me that I will be a hero. I could use some more technical details, but a good blurb overall

4 / 5

Outline

I can feel the ambition pouring out of this one. Lots of design goals are laid out, but not much detail on how they will be accomplished or details of implimentation. A lot is promised here. The name alone is pretty arrogant, but in a good way. I wait to see what is delivered.

3 / 5

Bonus: Quote and Called Shot
Total: 8 / 10. A bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Yes

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
A few more reviews. To the remaining 6, I love you all, but I am just a man who had to work late and can not look at such sites at work. I will finish by tomorrow.

Adventure Friends
Ad Blurb

Lighthearted language sell that this is a game for the younger set.

3 / 5

Outline

It’s a little short! You’ve got some bones to hang some things on, but I don’t know much about them. I’m more interested than the score would indicate, but I just don’t have a clear picture of this game of what each thing means. I look forward to seeing something amazing!


2 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total 6 /10
Is it D&D: Maybe

Hellhole

Heavy on fluff, but a little light on explanations. I get the impression this is some sort of Shadowrun-esque game set in hell, but I’m not really sure. I’m interested, but not informed.

2 / 5


Outline

I like you concept, and I feel you have a roadmap for your game. Your mechanic is nice and explained (except for the mystery). This is another wait and see

3 / 5

Bonus: Nope
Total 5 / 10
Is it D&D: Nope


Houses & Hauntings

Ad blurb

This one is positively spooky. I like how you set the tone, childish, with a edge of danger. I get a sense of what to expect, and its fun.

4 / 5

Outline

I clearly get the combination of resource and risk management. You have your road map, and I have an idea of where your game is headed. It is a little short, and I look forward to a fuller explanation

3 / 5

Bonus: Dinosaur and Called Shot
Total 8 / 10, a bonus is earned
Is it D&D: This one is tricky, reserving judgement

Caverns and Wyrms

Ad blurb

A cool bit of game design and philosophy, but light on details.

3 / 5

Outline
You’ve got the players guide practically written already! This reads like a stripped down D&D, so congrats on hitting that goal. If I do have to say anything bad, it reads a bit dry, but this is fine for an outline.

5 / 5


Bonus: Quotes
Total: 9 / 10
Is it D&D: Yes

Empyrean


Punches me in the gut and gives me that sense of urgency right from the start. Finishes off with exactly what it does and why. Also I really like the formatting in the bottom section. If I’m reading this right, “• Fate smiles when only the players roll dice.” Combines two sentences into one, which is perfectly in the style of this competition

5 / 5

Outline

A noble set of goals and design philosophies. You’ve got a map, but you’re holding it close to your chest. I hope you can fit it all in, I’ll be looking forward to your next posting

3 /5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total: 9 / 10
Is it D&D: More than Likely


Sawn-Off Shadowrun


Ad Blurb/Outline

This is is an exciting ad blurb or a super light on details ad blurb. You’re in the contest, but only because I found Girl Scout cookies waiting for me when I got home

Total: 4 / 5
Is this D&D: No


Dungeons, INC.

I did laugh out loud in the literal sense reading this ad blurb, which is a good thing. The flavor here is exceptional. Is that your art? Even if not, it is composed very well. You also feed me some mechanical info about your game. Perfect

5 / 5

Outline

I like everything I see here. Its funny but informative, mechanically robust, both tactically and narratively. You have a great block of marble you have to chip away at. I sincerely hope you succeed.

5 / 5
Bonus: Quote

Total: 11/ 10 a bonus and our first perfect score
Is it D&D: Yes

RetrOS - 1(d)6-bit Adventures


Ad blurb
gently caress it, I’m in, lets do this.

4 / 5

Outline

You lay out your goals nicely and what you need to do to get there. I havn’t heard of anyone trying anything like this, so good luck. On the bad side, you're a little light on details on how you are going to do these things.

3 / 5

Bonus: Quote, Called Shot
Total: 8 / 10 a bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Maybe

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
If I somehow skipped you, yell at me, and I will make it all better.

Kobold Super Shortened Edition

Ad blurb

This one is a little too long. Granted, I am not thoroughly sold on playing a Kobold, but it was a bit of a journey to get there.
4 / 5

Outline

Just enough info. I understand your core mechanic, and how things work. Your game is about Kobolds eating babies. A couple of typos (unless Kobolds are tasty to everyone and everyone want to eat them, which would be a complete if comical reversal). You’ve got that map forward. Good luck!

4 / 5
Bonus: Didn’t see one
Total: 8 /10 a bonus!
Is it D&D: Nope

D&D: Greatest Hits


Ad Blurb

This one is literally selling itself to me, and I’m in the mood for buying. Also a sprinkle of funny. It promises a lot, lets hope it can deliver.

5 / 5

Outline

Conversational style that guides me through your mechanics. I kind of feel like you’re going to say “Do you like these shoes? There yours. Now, what can I do to get you into this D&D?” You’ve got design goals, implementation details, and a roadmap laid out. I noticed a few typos, but nothing huge. I worry about space limitations, but if you can stuff it all in there, you’ll be a serious contender.

5 / 5
Bonus: Didn’t see any
Total: 10 /10. Bonus Earned
Is it D&D: Yes

Heroes of the Fallen Lands

Ad blurb
Tones of Dark Souls in this one (this is a good thing). However feels super generic, and I’m not exactly excited by it.

2 / 5

Outline

Short. Design goals but no ideas on implementation. I like your commitment to uniqueness of monsters and weapons. Impress me next time.

2 / 5
Total: 4 / 10
Is it D&D: Yes

Campfire

Ad blurb

For some reason I like and dislike this one simultaneously. I like that its ambitious. It promises a revolution. Campfire is a really good name, and you use that in the blurb. I like the permanence. Also good use of formatting. As for the dislike, I can’t really place it? Maybe its too smug? Eh...

4 / 5



Outline

Roadmap, check design philosophy, check, details of implementation. I like the boldness of using a whole page as a title. Lets see it

4 / 5
Bonus: Didn’t see one
Total : 8 / 10. A bonus is earned
Is it D&D: Probably



Base Circumstance


Ad blurb

Its confident, but not much stubstance

1/ 5

Outline

You’re really leaning heavily on Treasure Hunters here. Certainly I would never bring up my third place winning [url=”https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K08nb_dqo07FGz7VvXALl9MXrq36C48-0lOrpnsQmjk/edit#heading=h.7paetn4kg1y4%94]Jurasic Central Park [/url] in this contest. To an outsider it would be a bit bewildering, but I have read (and liked) Treasure Hunters. Lets see you do it again, but shorter.

4 / 5

Bonus: Called Shot, Dinosaur
Total: 5 / 10
Is it D&D: Nope

Abomination

Ad Blurb
Grabs me at the beginning, sells me, and explains what it does

4 / 5

Outline

Man, I do love those weird narrative games with nontraditional player roles. Even the presentation format is different. You’ve got goals and roadmaps and I understand your mechanics. I’m interested in this one.

5 /5

Bonus: Called Shot
Total 10 / 10. A Bonus is earned
Is it D&D: No

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Using two Time Energy, I have given you credit for the Called Shot. You already got a bonus point for dinosaur spotting, so your score remains 7. I will cackle maniacally now!

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Gau posted:

Ulta, now that you're about, what do you think of this?

Basically this is how I'm going to handle it.

I can't (and don't really have the energy to) stop you from writing an intro scenario outside of your game. If you include an intro scenario, this will definitely score you points in the fluff and presentation portions of the playtest. If you don't, these scores may or may not suffer, as a intro scenario is not an explicitly required thing. I can't take into account any material not within your 4 pages in terms of judging. You will be allowed to playtest your own game, so take that into account also.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Dire Human posted:

The good news is, I've condensed the character creation, combat rules, and monster stats down to 2 pages!

The bad news is, there are so many line breaks and so much formatting making it look sensible that pasting it into Google Docs gives me 5 pages.

Son of a bitch, I've got some work cut out for me. "Looking Nice" might become a stretch goal.

Preview (NOT FINAL SUBMISSION): Dropbox Link to PDF. Any suggestions, fellow turbonerds?

I did a quick and dirty copy and paste into google docs, and stripped of formating and line breaks, you are just over two pages, so its not as bad as you think. That said, you do have some cutting to do.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Captain_Indigo posted:

What's the best way of laying something out like this? I've rigged something up in GIMP, but that'll mean the end result is a 'picture' rather than a 'document'. Any free programs that might be better for this kind of thing?

Are you a rad enough dude to share the tricks of the RPG trade?!
You could "print" it into a pdf. I'm ok with an image though.

Edit: Had to get in on the action

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Cardinal Ximenez posted:

Ulta,

Are you using the default spacing on Google Drive of 1.15 or 1.0 for the total text? Also, Letter or A4?

Single space, so 1.0 (which is not the default for Google Drive). A4 paper.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
There might have been some confusion. You have approx 27 hours from now for the next deadline. Every deadline (except the very last) is on a Sunday at 7pm EST

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Times up!

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Hey all

The next section of the contest will be scored similarly, except there will be slightly more emphasis on presentation. Also it is expected that your game will be mechanically finished. There is a special offer here in the theme of keeping things short, you can make the contest shorter. By midnight on the 17th, Completely finish your game, play test it, and explicitly say you are submitting your game for short review, and you will receive a 11/10 on the portion of the contest due one week from now. Your final draft will be evaluated in the manner set out in the OP, it will just give me more time to do so, and I get the impression some people are ready to move into the final stage. Some people need more time, and this is completely acceptable.

Also there are some bonus objectives for this round!
1. A little help from my friends - Review and offer advice to at least 5 other games
2. Tiny little Hemmingways - A possibly true anecdote, Hemingway on a bet said that he could write a story in under 10 words. "Classified: Baby Goods. For sale, baby shoes, never worn.", was the result. We'll none of you are Hemmingways, so I'll give you 10 times that. Write a short story in 100 words or less for you game.
3. Back your roots - Play the game you are taking inspiration from and give us a play report!

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Etherwind posted:

When you say you want a hundred word story for our game, what do you mean, exactly? Do you mean a story in the setting of the game? 'Cause that's going to give some people trouble, and will be very easy for other people, writing ability aside.

On the other hand, if you just mean a story in 100 words, whatever topic, that's interesting.

Make it relevant. What's relevant? I'll let you know when you do 100 words.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
If people are going to start playtesting, you are once again allowed to playtest your own game. I will need some kind of record, audio, visual, or textual of the play session.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

PixelScum posted:

Alright I lost because I misjudged the amount of time I had and had to run a game today but gently caress YOU GUYS. I'm posting it anyway. Eat it. https://dl.dropbox.com/u/807390/Hellhole.doc
LOOK UPON THE MIGHTY AND FEEL RELIEF THAT I SCREWED UP. Because this is what would've ruined your poo poo guys. :V
Seriously though awesome submissions and I'm hella sad I screwed up the deadline. Good luck to the dudes left.

Pixel has come to me, hat in hand, and explained his/her tardiness. I have accepted his/her excuse, as shameful as it is. A shameful excuse. The shame has caused him/her to be docked points regardless or the validity of his/her excuse. Everyone may point and laugh. If you do review this game as part of the bonus objective, you must mention how shameful it is

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

Captain_Indigo posted:




I think any Audio or visual recording that I plan to post will make one of my groups a bit nervous. If I record a session and write up a textual transcript, can I cut out all the crap chatter, or do you want all the talk about snacks and the black magic chanting left in?
Cut what you need. I can promise to reveal to no one what I hear, but I realize some people are wierd about it

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Sorry for being late on these. I promise to have everyone finished by Thursday.

Dungeon Inc

Your presentation and fluff are great! I really do like what you’ve done here. Your illustrations are cute and flavorful Some of your rules are a little hard to understand, specifically the “Type” and “Abilities” section. Maybe take a second look there. Also some of the words look misaligned, and your “elf” picture is kinda bleeding into the margin. Overall you seem to have a mechanically robust but compact class based system. I look forward to seeing it in play

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total : 10 / 10 - Bonus earned

Telluria

I like how you have feats that can be made on the fly. I’m a fan of narrative mechanics, and I’m glad to see them included in your game. I also like where your fluff is going. Right now that chart is pulling double duty, which I find clever.

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total: 9/10 - Bonus Earned


Mikan’s Anime Time

Your game is certainly one of the more interesting in the contest. I am looking forward to the playtest. Its very beer and pretzels and so intuitive I’m surprised people haven't thought of it before. Your fluff is a little light, and I worry that in the wrong group it could be a complete and total flop, but it also could be a smash hit. We’ll have to see

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 9 / 10 - Bonus earned

Age of Dinosaurs

Your presentation and art is beautiful. Seriously looks like something that could come out of Dragon magazine. I also like how you’ve boiled down the roles. Heres the one thing, you lean on 4th ed for a lot of your base mechanics. For example, I don’t think you mention that you roll a d20 to attack, add you bonus, etc. It certainly looks like you’ve boiled 4th down to a compressed core, but you might have left some things in the pot that might hurt you in the end. For now its fine.

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 9/ 10 - Bonus earned

Dungeon Adventuer
A delightfully old school dungeon crawl. Your game is very focused. I’d suggest a possible reorganization, as the sections don’t feel ordered particularly well. Also a glossary if you have space, since you use terms in ways that differ from the norm.

Bonus Objective

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 8/ 10 - Bonus earned

Open World

I really like how this steals shamelessly from Apoc/Dungeon World. You’ve got a really nice mechanical framework here. I can envision how each of the cards would fit, but if you could for the final product construct a way to print it out with a single button press. This is so I can prove it to myself, and also hand it to some people I think would be interested. You might lose some points on fluff (and did this round), but I’m sure theres ways you could regain them (pictures maybe?)

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 9/ 10 - Bonus earned


Time Gladiators

You’ve got a simple, fun concept here. It seems like it could work pretty well. I’d like to see some advice on how to maintain the time line. Also, can I go back in time to stop someone from going back in time? Also paradoxes that might arise somehow. Your game seems fun, and I like how the arena is numbered as a clock.

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 8/ 10 - Bonus earned

Letters

This one is really strange to me. Mechanically its super light, but feels deep. It’s deeply rooted in L5R, but can be dropped in just about anywhere. This makes me feel you have some stuff to prove in the final parts of the contest, but for now, it works

Bonus Objective: Yes
Total 10/ 10 - Bonus earned

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
More!

Die Underground

You’re making progress. I’m not sure how well it will work mechanically, but it could be really fun with the right group. Its clear, but slightly dry read.

Bonus: No
7/10

Sawn-off Shadowrun

This feels like the Shadowrun I remember, without the crazy complicated crunch! Congrats on that. You’ve really reduced where reduction needed to happen, but kept crunch where it needs to be. I like how you’re handling cybernetics and magic. Your writing style is casual, but not particularly evocative. Also your formatting and organization needs a little work.

Bonus: No
8/10 - A bonus is earned

Saffron

This is really coming together. I get a Dogs in the Vineyard crossed with Polaris vibe. My complaints are completely nitpicky and related to format. The ab-lib mission creation session doesn’t seem to have markers for the places to replace words. Also I hate your font, and its hard to read, if flavorfully correct.

Bonus - Yes
10/10 A bonus is earned

RoboSaur

I like your mechanics and I like that you took on the challenge of a tactics game. It feels really neat, but the formatting made it really hard to read. I realize that wasn’t what you were working on, but its somewhat harming my understanding at this point.

Bonus - Yes
8/10 A bonus is earned

Cavern and Wyrms

I really like the quotes at the start of each chapter. You’ve got a very simple, compact, D&D experience here, formatted well. I wonder if Int getting you extra skills, and everything else not having a concrete effect (its implied that attacking is Str/Dex)

Bonus - Yes
10/10


Microfantasia

You’ve got a solid system here, and things seem to be working out mechanically. It’s written in a good tone, but the system itself seems a bit generic instead of fantasy. I’d like to see some more on the DM side also.

Bonus - Yes
8/ 10 - a bonus is earned.

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Here are the next 7. I believe there are 5 more left, and I will try and get to them tonight.

Kobold Super Shortened Edition

Feels very eer and pretzels. I never played the original game, but it feels like you’ve got a quick paced, if slightly crunchy game. Its written in a funny tone. I’m not a huge fan of random mechanics, but it feels like you die quite often in the game, so its probably fine.

Bonus - Nope
8 /10 a bonus is earned

Dungeons and Dragons: Core

This is a truly boiled down D&D! You definitely need to define the character attacks still, but it feel like you have a framework. I really like your mechanic for skill checks, its niche protection without sacrificing cooperation. Still a little generic and not quite finished, but I see the potential.

Bonus - Yes
8 / 10 a bonus is earned


Swordsmen and Sorcerers

You’ve got a nice narrative beer and pretzels game here. Its not terribly crunchy, but its full of flavor, and its easy. The difficulty measuring mechanic is great and I am a fan of only roll when it matters.

Bonus - Yes
8/ 10 - a bonus is earned

Base Circumstances

You’ve got a unique take here, and I like the mechanics. I’m not quite sure I understand Investing, but I’m trying to get through 10 of these tonight. A little generic but I’m looking forward to more.

Bonus Yes
8/10 - a bonus is earned


Houses and Haunting

You’ve got a gift for brevity. I really like what you’ve done here, so I’m going to nitpick. How often can the kids rest? Also the first sentence in Meet the Foes parses wierd. I could interpret it that a foe gets a trait when they fall down. Good stuff!
Bonus - Yes
10/10 - a bonus is earned

Adventure Friends

This is cute. Super saccharin cute. This is a good thing though. The tone is persistent throughout, (call successes Stars, candy and sandwiches as items, etc). This seems like a good game for all ages. Looking forward to more,

Bonus - Nope
8 / 10 - a bonus is earned


Vitruemancy

You’ve got a well establish world and mechanical backing. The main thing I’m lacking is the scope of what spells can do, specifically outside of combat. Can I create a mountain, for example? You’ve got something shaping up here.

Bonus - Yes
8 / 10 - a bonus is earned

Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.
Quotes don't count this round. If I missed you, let me know, but I think that's it.


Empyrean

It might be Feburary in 4167 days, but it won’t be the correct February. Rennee, if you want to continue, let me know.

D&D: Greatest Hits

You’ve got a really strong framework here, and I like how you have your rules in the character sheets. I’m missing how you level, change stance, and what the ranges mean, and a DM section but like you said, theres still some work to be done. Looking good.

Bonus - Nope
9/10 - a bonus is earned


Abomination

I really like the concept behind this game, and I like games that have non-traditional player roles. This is really non-traditional but exciting. Some of its a little hard to understand, but I think this could be remedied with some proper formatting. Are things in the right order in the draft?

Bonus - Yes
9/10 - a bonus is earned/

RetrOS

Still evocative of the 16bit/8bit style. I caught the FFVI reference this time. More meat than last time, but as you say, you were working internally. Looking forward to seeing what comes out

Bonus - Yes
8/10 - a bonus is earned/

Hellhole

Its an interesting system, and I like the Mein and risk mechanics. Flavorful. However you are shamful. Shamful. Shame. SHAME.

Bonus SHAME
SHAME - 1/10 (Would have been 7/10)

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Ulta
Oct 3, 2006

Snail on my head ready to go.

mepstein73 posted:

So two things: first, the original "Kobolds Ate My Baby!" is a Beer & Pretzels RPG. Since this originally started as a condensed KAMB, I take the comparison as a compliment.

Second, are these scores (the 8/10 for this leg, for example) being totaled for the end judging? Or is it just that 'bonus is earned' going through? I had been hoping to see how far I got without any bonus stuff (since I feel some of them are not especially linked to the game design aspect of the contest), but I realized that may hurt my overall chances of winning. The rules are a little unclear to me, is what I'm saying, I guess. In either case, I'm happy to have participated, win or lose.

Bonus is worth exactly 1 point always. The rubric I used for this round was three points for fluff, three for presentation, and four for rules completeness and mechanical soundness. As for the exact breakdown of particular games, I didn't keep records, just the total.