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Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016


Listen, buddy, we've got to modernise this stuff and bring out the moral grey areas and the dark gritty side of real life. Honestly, what would a trench soldier orphaned at the age of 12 know about real suffering!!?

Southpaugh posted:

An Ent masturbates in the corner. It goes on for way longer than you would like it to.

What we really need is some kind of female equivalent to the Ents. It's stupid that it's like, a male-only race. What we need is some kind of... Entwhores? Entsexslaves? Entcest? Something like that anyway

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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009





Username/post combo

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016


Data Graham posted:

Username/post combo

I feel unwell now.

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



Play with her hrŲa!

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





We all know they are sexing it up to show elf titties. I'm fine with that as long as they show some dwarf dong.

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010


College Slice

How many canon female characters are even active in the second age. Galadriel I guess. And uh that one woman from the Numenor story? The one who married the prince who refused to stop sailing?

Arcsquad12
Mar 4, 2013

I Love Satan


I can't wait for the side plot about Celeborn moonlighting as the male lead in several Dol Amroth Telepornos.

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



sweet geek swag posted:

We all know they are sexing it up to show elf titties. I'm fine with that as long as they show some dwarf dong.

cheetah7071 posted:

How many canon female characters are even active in the second age. Galadriel I guess. And uh that one woman from the Numenor story? The one who married the prince who refused to stop sailing?

i wonder if they'll show shelob's spider tiddies

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



Arcsquad12 posted:

I can't wait for the side plot about Celeborn moonlighting as the male lead in several Dol Amroth Telepornos.

Alec Eiffel
Sep 7, 2004

I like the way they think.

My wife just had an extended phone conversation with a studentís parent who turned out to be Tolkienís grandson.

Thatís my story.

Gats Akimbo
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post


Anyone wanna read old issues of the Journal of the Tolkien Society? All the ones older than 2 years are up to read for free:

https://journals.tolkiensociety.org/mallorn

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





cheetah7071 posted:

How many canon female characters are even active in the second age. Galadriel I guess. And uh that one woman from the Numenor story? The one who married the prince who refused to stop sailing?

Celebrian would be around probably.

sat on my keys!
Oct 1, 2014


cheetah7071 posted:

How many canon female characters are even active in the second age. Galadriel I guess. And uh that one woman from the Numenor story? The one who married the prince who refused to stop sailing?

There are a few ruling Queens of Numenor. Also Ar-Pharazon's wife who is also his cousin who he forcibly marries. You're thinking of Erendis iirc.

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012

People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.


sweet geek swag posted:

Celebrian would be around probably.

there is a non-zero chance they'll have the attack on Celebrian's caravan be a gangrape scene unfortunately

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





HIJK posted:

there is a non-zero chance they'll have the attack on Celebrian's caravan be a gangrape scene unfortunately

That happens late in the third age, so probably not.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Like Ellladan, Elrohir and Arwen aren't even born until the third age. It seems like Elrond didn't even marry Celebrian until after the war of the Last Alliance.

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012

People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.


sweet geek swag posted:

That happens late in the third age, so probably not.

Hopefully not, its just that I donít trust them

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





HIJK posted:

Hopefully not, its just that I don’t trust them

I do not believe Amazon has the rights to anything from the third age and beyond. I think they are legally required to stay within a particular time period.

Zopotantor
Feb 24, 2013

...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...


HIJK posted:

there is a non-zero chance they'll have the attack on Celebrian's caravan be a gangrape scene unfortunately

In the style of Mary Gentle's "hand me another Elf, sergeant, this one's split".

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euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






The artwork is Mallorn is so cool. I wish they werenít PDFs . Oh wel

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