Tolkien's Middle-Earth: He was just Beorn this way

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Tolkien's Middle-Earth: He was just Beorn this way

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Nessus posted:

I think Sauron's calculation is that a big dick player like Aragorn or Galadriel or Gandalf could probably daunt his armies enough to hold out, and eventually master the Ring, and therefore, HIM. He probably took pains to cow Saruman because he figured Saruman was the most likely to find it, if it was around to be found.

Saruman's been studying Ring-lore, too. If anyone's going to successfully figure out how to master the Ring, it's him.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2019 12:11

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:48

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Bongo Bill posted:

That does make me wonder, though, who in the movies actually physically saw the Eye?

Does seeing it in the palantir count?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2020 03:54

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Imagined posted:

But, like, if I create a race of greedy money grubbers who only dream about gold but I call them dwarves, but you see them as a Jewish stereotype, it's because you're the real racist, see, and furthermore

furthermore you're just extremely online and that is bad

# ¿ Oct 6, 2020 13:20

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

RoboChrist 9000 posted:

The Virtuous Pagan and other examples of the Good Foreigner are story tropes that date back to at least the middle ages. The Matter of France and Arthurian Romance both contain numerous examples of good Saracens.

further back than that

remember the literal Good Samaritan

# ¿ Oct 6, 2020 15:06

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

They're A Big Goddamn Deal, too, they have all kinds of government contracts and sell very fancy software that... basically just lets you drag and drop connections between databases.

(and every time I chuckle at their name and their logo and their font and their super-50s-superscientist aesthetic and everything)

# ¿ Nov 17, 2020 16:59

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Gats Akimbo posted:

I've never seen the Poems and Stories ones before, and I don't like them half as much. A useful warning!

Relatedly (though wrong Inkling) I came across this absolutely fabulous Baynes illustration of Tash, the Inexorable, the Irresistable, that I've never seen before and have to share:

His boyband quiff is killing me.

It's incredible :allears:

# ¿ Nov 30, 2020 17:02

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Kindle edition of the Silmarillion is $2.99 today.

I had been waiting a while cause my physical copy is multiple states away and someday I have to get more than ten pages in.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2020 13:34

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Omnomnomnivore posted:

I'm not sure I've read the word "sward" anywhere outside of Lord of the Rings. I'm surprised there isn't some pun about swards and swords in here.

The first FFXIV expansion was named Heavensward, and the writers got to make three distinct uses out of it with the intended "towards heaven", plus a group of knights called Heaven's Ward, and then finally just for laughs they added a small field outside of the city called Heaven Sward just so they could say they did. And that's all without touching sward = sword!

# ¿ Dec 28, 2020 23:44

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

skasion posted:

There�s a band of Mordor orcs in Moria, in addition to the locals. They�re the guys whose attack from up the Silverlode sniped Balin. They probably sent back some mithril after they took up residence. I wouldn�t imagine this endeared them to the locals either, but the balrog seemingly puts up with them.

quote:

"The Dwarves tell no tale; but even as mithril was the foundation of their wealth, so also it was their destruction: they delved too greedily and too deep, and disturbed that from which they fled, Durin's Bane. Of what they brought to light the Orcs have gathered nearly all, and given it in tribute to Sauron, who covets it."

Not necessarily the Mordor Orcs, since this is Gimli saying this before they even find Balin's tomb - but whether it's Mordor or Isengard or even the Moria orcs just having to pay tribute to the guy with the bigger orc army, that's where the mithril ended up at least.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2020 17:49

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Pham Nuwen posted:

Some mail pants for the Nazgul would have been a good call, in hindsight.

Obviously then they would have drowned even faster in the river :colbert:

# ¿ Dec 30, 2020 21:17

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Shiroc posted:

I would argue that within the specific text of Fellowship of the Ring, Galadriel is the one portrayed as the most powerful character they encounter directly, even moreso than Gandalf.

The Appendix explicitly says "the three greatest of the Eldar: Gil-Galad, Galadriel, and C�rdan" when talking about the Ring holders, so yeah, she's up there. (although apparently Elrond has "the most powerful ring of the three" per the end of RotK which like, how do you even rate the one that preserves an entire magic forest vs the one that kindles fires in men's hearts vs whatever the hell Vilya actually does)

# ¿ Jan 15, 2021 04:28

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

skasion posted:

By analogy to Nenya, it creates/maintains Rivendell, a supernaturally perfect house.

Reasonable. I figured it might also have been involved in making it easier to mess with the River and beat up the Nazgul by proxy - i.e. "this is what a Three Rings wielder can do, without tipping their hand to Sauron" - but I have no evidence to support that.

Shiroc posted:

Part of my mindset for this readthrough is to try to forget everything else and take the text up to the points I am as all I know. Its a fun way to approach things that I'm very familiar with and have such cultural standing, like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. I think the one Elven Ring where the location is confirmed before the end of Return of the King is Galadriel's? I know Gandalf's isn't revealed until the end and I can't remember for sure but I don't think it came up that Elrond has the other in Fellowship.

Correct. I don't even think it comes up that Elrond has it in the RotK, just the Appendices? But I'm not certain about that. Gandalf shows his off for sure at the end, but the only one the reader sees early is Galadriel's. (and I have to say "the reader" because Sam doesn't see it!)

# ¿ Jan 15, 2021 13:37

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Gats Akimbo posted:

It would have been an inconvenience to Sauron, but it's obvious that Tolkien thinks anyone who thinks getting hold of the Ring = power over Sauron is kidding themselves massively.

Nowhere near power over, but I think Saruman with the Ring would at least be a short-term contender on Sauron's level. He has his own army (though smaller), he could presumably command the Ringwraiths, and for all we know his ringlore studies let him figure out where some of the Seven are, or even the Three, and he can do something with that.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 13:25

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Nessus posted:

I hear the Witch-King of Angmar once straight up told a chick he liked her.

He once held an opponent's wife's hand
in a jar of acid
at a party

# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 13:12

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

ChubbyChecker posted:

I played ages ago a Civ2 mod about the War of the Ring. It was mainly about making more troops, and not the usual Civ stuff. Frodo, Sam and Gollum were one slow unit in a large maze made out of impassable mountains, and if they reached the Mount Doom the good guys won. Civ2 had a shitload of mods, and I'm sure someone has made other tolkienistic mods for it.

There's an enormous Medieval Total War II mod that I only know about because there's a Let's Play of it. 14 factions, takes place at the end of the Third Age with all that entails, the works. From the outside, it looks like someone put in a lot of effort.

DACK FAYDEN fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Jan 26, 2021

# ¿ Jan 26, 2021 18:07

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

GimpInBlack posted:

Aragorn because kind of his whole thing is hiding his aristocracy until it's time to reveal himself and otherwise looking like a scruffy hobo

Can't look like a king without fabulous hair. May not have had a comb, but had something that could work as one in a pinch.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2021 12:01

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Based on only those two screenshots, having not yet clicked, this version must own bones cause that's a rockin' Bombadil

# ¿ Apr 5, 2021 16:47

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Oracle posted:

WHO CLOSED THE DOORS BEHIND HIM

the orcs duh

# ¿ May 10, 2021 19:44

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

OctaviusBeaver posted:

Did Pippin kill Gandalf by being noisy?

imo the Balrog would have felt Gandalf (and his Ring's) passage either way

# ¿ Aug 8, 2021 18:25

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Drakyn posted:

We already saw that with the whole Sam-taking-a-step-that's-the-farthest-from-home-he's-ever-been cut, but sadly it appears to have been DMCA'd.

This news makes me very sad. It's not like it replaces a legitimate watch of the movie, it was what, adding seven hours or something?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2022 15:00

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

https://twitter.com/merrittk/status/1478522541283151880

# ¿ Jan 5, 2022 14:01

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

feedmyleg posted:

I have stacks of my own posts printed out that I do the same thing to.

this is correct

# ¿ Mar 1, 2022 13:32

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Marmaduke! posted:

I thought it might make it onto that list but surprised it's at the top!

She won the Best Novel Hugo three years running for the entire trilogy! Which nobody else has ever done. Honestly maybe she didn't deserve one of them - depends on how you feel about Death's End or Too Like the Lightning or Ninefox Gambit, that year was stacked - but they're really good. So yeah, would recommend.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2022 02:41

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Shibawanko posted:

like george rr martin or whatever who just plops down a town somewhere on a map and calls it like "trader town" or something

# ¿ Mar 12, 2022 21:43

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Tolkien loved engaging with his own work from a reader's perspective, but apparently even he had his limits:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Uz0LMbWpI

I don't normally look at youtube comments but there's a great trend here, every comment with an attempt at an explanation has 50+ replies just arguing with it :allears:

# ¿ Jul 24, 2022 17:26

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

DontMockMySmock posted:

besides the obvious gaffe of the balrog having wings and flying (lol why did it fall when the bridge broke, then?), i find it hilarious that their weapons meet once and Glamdring just disintegrates.

it was really more of a big jump and glide, really

like it's clearly too heavy to fly here (which is a good way to square the wings/no flying circle) to my eyes

# ¿ Jul 26, 2022 13:22

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Tree Bucket posted:

Valarauko! There's another contender for Best Tolkien Name, along with Taniquetil, Ancalagon, Alatariel, Rhovanion, Smaug and Ar-Pharazon.
My auto correct did not like any of these

it's Teleporno

I will not be taking questions at this time :colbert:

# ¿ Jul 27, 2022 13:55

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

ChubbyChecker posted:

check the tv version and you'll find happiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRy18Euw6W4

this is incredible on its own but really goes to the next level when you notice the little girl on the bottom left cracking up after the dude does his incredible line and immediately returns to a video-game-style idle pose

# ¿ Aug 27, 2022 12:49

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Well what other summary of the Silmarillion have you ever seen?

newly created: one world, discord planned

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 02:58

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Imagined posted:

IMNAL but I think the main thing about trademarks in this sort of thing is whether the average person could possibly confuse your thing with the other trademarked thing. Considering one 'product' is a fictional sword from a fantasy novel while their product is a fascist cyberpunk dystopia-enabling AI webcam, not likely to be confused.

ok but then what's Palantir's excuse because both the ones in the books and the ones irl are data-gathering surveillance networks

# ¿ Sep 16, 2022 18:01

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

they're not wrong that I do see Agent Smith every time Elrond's on screen though

like he was a perfectly good Elrond it's just unfortunate in the same way that every H. Jon Benjamin character will sound like whichever one of his you encountered first forever

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 18:40

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Mister Speaker posted:

Were there hobbits in the Council of Elrond other than Frodo? I thought he was the only one there; that hobbits around that time were considered to be pretty inconsequential to the world. Why was he even invited, simply because he'd already been carrying the ring?

He was carrying the ring and Gandalf said to invite him, either one of those would have likely gotten him in but both makes him a lock.

And he was the only one invited (Sam was listening in, right?)

Mister Speaker posted:

Further to this, it's been a LONG time since I've read the books but I know the timescale of finding the ring -> quest to destroy the ring is significantly sped up in the films. Gandalf has to leave Bag-End and go reading some ancient poo poo in Minas Tirith to confirm that it's really the ring, right? But why is he all aggressive with Bilbo about handing it over when he doesn't yet know what it is? Just an abundance of caution? What about the entire events of The Hobbit, he didn't know that Bilbo's ring was what it was that entire time?

Yes, he had to go read some poo poo in Minas Tirith - I think it's actually in the movie, Gandalf goes and digs through some scrolls and they show that's how he knows to put it in the fire to make the writing appear.

Remember that the other rings also turned nine men into Nazgul. Having a Ring and wearing it is bad (to the point where Gandalf has one of the Three and doesn't wear it, although that's partially out of caution to keep hidden). Doesn't have to be the One for him to want Bilbo to not wear it, especially if he suspects what it did to Gollum because he knows that Gollum had the ring if Bilbo ever told him that - which I'm not sure if he did or not, since Bilbo elided finding the ring in the Hobbit iirc. And yes, during the Hobbit, he had no idea which ring it was, just "a magic ring", which is kind of a retcon cause he's cool with Bilbo wearing it then but you know how it is. I guess there are also magic rings that are not Rings?

DACK FAYDEN fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Oct 28, 2022

# ¿ Oct 28, 2022 21:16

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Mukulu posted:

There were Entwives

key word "were"

# ¿ Nov 28, 2022 16:21

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

YaketySass posted:

giving my polycule of exactly 20 people their rings and introducing them as my nazg�ls

Weren't the dwarves not ringwraith'd? I thought the Seven just got lost (and without them no proper dwarf-hoard could be created anew) over the years

# ¿ Jan 22, 2023 00:39

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

The first previews of the Lord of the Rings crossover Magic: the Gathering set came out, obviously I'm not going to post them here but I did want to start an argument over exactly one thing:
The "Gandalf the Grey" creature card (with two arts, him right before / right after falling off the Bridge) is an Avatar Wizard. Not any of the other possibly-applicable existing creature types of Angel, Demigod, Elder, Elemental, Incarnation, Human, or Spirit.

Is this correct? If not, why not? Discuss :black101:

(magic Incarnations tend to be not human and the one explicitly humanlike one is actually an Avatar Incarnation)

DACK FAYDEN fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Mar 13, 2023

# ¿ Mar 13, 2023 19:17

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

sweet geek swag posted:

Gonna be honest, reading that tweet made me feel a lot of emotions, very few of which were positive. In fact the only positive emotion was the relief when I realized it was a joke.

if you didn't laugh at Bombadil 2: Civil War we can't be friends, I don't make the rules :colbert:

# ¿ Jun 14, 2023 16:20

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Data Graham posted:

Tangentially: anyone know what Olsen's problem is with the Witch-king breaking Gandalf's staff at the gate of Minas Tirith in one of the extended edition scenes? He always gripes about it as his single biggest complaint on a conceptual level with the films, but he doesn't ever explain why exactly. I assume it's a thing about how Gandalf totally outranks him on the scale of Maiar vs wraiths etc, but that seems like a weirdly DBZ-power-levels kind of thing to get hung up on

The best I got is that it's a really awkward juxtaposition with Gandalf breaking Saruman's staff, since that's pictured as him exerting divine authority to destroy the symbol of Saruman's authority and power?

# ¿ Jun 15, 2023 23:22

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Ravenfood posted:

- your enemy has fast fliers for which you have no answer to and just go squat on two of the beacons mid-chain.

eh the only fast fliers we know of are Eagles (you can't ride them anywhere, including to Mordor) and those weird fell beasts the Nazgul use, it'll be fine :downs:

# ¿ Jul 9, 2023 21:56

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Crosspost from somewhere over in PYF

https://twitter.com/LegoRacers2/status/1669775883308269569

# ¿ Nov 12, 2023 22:03

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:48

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

euphronius posted:

I am bad at allegory because I never understood how any of those books were allegory

do you remember in book five when all the children were trapped underground and then they spent literally four pages (if I recall correctly) debating the existence of the sun and how they know it exists even if they can't see it

small child me had no idea what that argument was supposed to be all about but knew that some point was trying to be made, very hamfistedly shoved in there

# ¿ Nov 20, 2023 21:43

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