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Idea people are useless. Oh, sure, you think you have what it takes to come up with the next big thing. Maybe you even went so far as to write it down. Or maybe you just decided "eh, gently caress it, somebody else probably did it." Well now's your chance to get your idea out there for all the mockery and ridicule it deserves. Who knows, maybe some enterprising young goon will do a KickStarter and put your idea into production. Then when you walk down the aisles of Wal-Mart, you can point to that lovely hunk of plastic and tell your friends how you totally came up with that two years ago. Idea: Make the US postal service profitable again. For those who haven't noticed, the USPS is losing money every day. Here's how we could turn that around in one simple step: sell corporate sponsorships for postage stamps. We've already had postage stamps with Elvis and Peanuts characters on them, so it's not like there's some sanctity to them. Imagine, for a few million dollars, McDonalds could pay to have a run of postage stamps made with a picture of the Big Mac. They could even do a promotion for 25 cents off your McNuggets if you bring in a canceled stamp. The stamps would still be sold at their usual price, so it's not a matter of shifting the cost. It'd just give companies one more venue to cram their advertisements down our eyeballs. This wouldn't make any changes to the postal system itself, so it should be easy to implement. Idea: The best action movie ever. I want a feature-length action movie that's just one uncut fight scene. Just an hour and a half of car chases, guns, parkour, and dudes gettin their asses kicked. Like, checkout this fight scene from Tom Yum Goong. It's a 3.5 minute fight scene through some kind of hotel done in one continuous cut, and it is fantastic. Now, I know doing 3.5 minutes uncut like that was incredibly challenging, but with all the newfangled digital poo poo that hollywood can do, I'm sure they could make the film in as many takes as they need and stitch it together to make it look seamless. A movie with non-stop action and violence, with none of that stupid plot  crap to get in the way. What's not to love??So, let's hear it goons! What would you totally implement/invent if you weren't so drat lazy?
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Feb 25, 2013 01:32
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:17 |
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A pillow with some kind of solid core, surrounded by the usual pillow fluff. The idea is that the core keeps the pillow from ever going flat, plus it can be shaped to fit particular uses (i.e., between the knees, between the shoulder and head for side sleepers). A website that lets me set up an account with what I want to see in baseball/football/whatever games. Then it would tell me if any games that I would want to see were played that week, without actually telling me who won or what the score was.
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Feb 28, 2013 20:53
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The Aphasian posted:This gave me a great idea: A website that lists the minimum, maximum and average sentences for non-violent crimes per state (including options for first, second, etc. offenders) and cross references that with the average treatment and recuperation time for common medical procedures. Maybe even supply expert witnesses so that you can make sure your crime is just bad enough without being too bad. I want to see this dream come true if only to hear the Republicans scream about it 
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Feb 28, 2013 21:47
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Wine bottle with a second cork in the base so I can shotgun a merlot.
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Feb 28, 2013 23:21
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Curly fries, but branded as Potato Pubes.
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Mar 9, 2013 20:12
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Or make it give a shock every time you "call" something and maybe we can pavlov that poo poo out of people's systems.
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Mar 9, 2013 21:12
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On that note, a bumper sticker dispenser that you can mount on the hood of your car. If you see somebody with insipid bumper stickers, you tailgate them, press a button, and tag them with your witty retort.* *No bumper sticker has ever been witty, go gently caress yourself.
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Mar 12, 2013 00:06
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Billboards where for a small fee you can send it a text message and it'll display it for thirty seconds.
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Mar 12, 2013 21:41
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Dead Beef posted:Something like Netflix but for porn You mean... the internet??
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Mar 13, 2013 21:53
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A website where you can punch in all your favorite authors, bands, movies, and tv shows, and then it sends you an e-mail whenever somebody dies. Never miss an obscure celebrity death!
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Mar 14, 2013 23:34
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A pressure nozzle that you can shove in your dickhole that lets you piss 60 feet.
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Mar 17, 2013 20:32
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Also, toilets with a poo poo-spatter pattern in the bowl.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:08
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Jesus christ, just wear one of those long plastic gloves farmers use when inseminating cows.
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Mar 18, 2013 22:23
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A farm where all the animals are given real nice homes, then when they die of old age they're processed for their meat. Then people who don't want to hurt animals can eat guilt-free beef! And since nobody's actually *killing* the animals, the farm could provide rare and exotic meats, like gorilla and bald eagle.  Basically, a zoo where you can just eat the animals as they die.
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Mar 23, 2013 19:11
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Gentlemen, GENTLEMEN. Cubagles.
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Mar 24, 2013 00:53
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Instead of desalinating water, why don't we just inject ourselves with fish DNA so we can drink seawater???
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Mar 27, 2013 22:40
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A dildo flashlight with one of those batteries that gets charged when you shake it.
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Mar 27, 2013 23:30
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A gun that shoots bits of bread, so you can hunt ducks but instead of killing them, you feed them 
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Mar 29, 2013 23:25
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A dart board with a high-pressure air hose built into the back, so after you throw your darts you can press a button and the board will shoot them back into your waiting hand. No, this is not a bad idea 
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May 4, 2013 04:21
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An iPad cover that looks like one of those old-timey cameras with bellows, so hipsters can throw it on while they're taking pictures.
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Aug 15, 2013 04:12
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A city-wide valet service, for when you have to go to a strange city and you know where you need to be, but you have gently caress all idea where to park without getting towed/ticketed. Just call the service ahead of time and they'll have a man waiting there to take your car, then when you want it back you just send them a text and they bring it back. You know those inflatable slides that planes have for emergencies? I want a portable inflato-slide that clips onto a window so I can just fling all my boxes out the window when I'm moving out of an upper-floor apartment.
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Sep 24, 2013 23:11
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A garbage can molded so that it perfectly fits the floor space of my car's passenger seat.
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Oct 9, 2013 02:29
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Better yet, let's just keyboard-tize the alphabet already. Every kindergartner should learn their QWERTYs instead of their ABCs. 
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Oct 13, 2013 22:07
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An app like Akinator, only instead of asking you twenty questions to identify a person, it asks you twenty yes/no questions to identify a song.
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May 3, 2014 00:10
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:17 |
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"Welp, my hands are already orange, might as well eat another goddamn bag"
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May 3, 2014 01:20
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