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  • Locked thread
where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


quote:

I popped my neck as I tried to get comfortable.

Railrunner does not possess a neck.

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Madoushi
May 9, 2003

Some days, you just get up on the wrong side of the bed...

JosephWongKS posted:

“The Fallen are planning to attack Amusement Park Between’s biggest city, Alcator.”

“But isn’t it a Fallen city already?” Merrylegs interrupted.

“Yes, but the Fallen are going to raid it in three days, killing all who live there. Our plan is to first break in the prison and gather troops, then siege Alcator right as the Fallen move in.”

"We've discovered that the enemy has an incredibly stupid, pointless plan. Railrunner, we need your incompetence in order to gently caress up even harder than they are."

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

One thing, how did they even know about this plan in the first place? It's not as if the Fallen would have just announced it to everyone or else rides would already have tried to escape and prematurely triggered the slaughter. And it's not as if there is some double agent because we know already that there is visible, or smelling difference between the Fallen and the regular rides, so any double-agent would have been found out because they weren't Fallen.

:ughh: Miranda.

Why am I so bothered with this particular issue?

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009

Iced Cocoa posted:

One thing, how did they even know about this plan in the first place? It's not as if the Fallen would have just announced it to everyone
Well, actually, ironwheel announced the fact that the military would be entering the city far in advance; the city got hit hard by a depression, and a whole bunch of abandoned buildings gradually got taken over by criminals. The military is basically planning to re-take the city and massively rehaul city infrastructure.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Kjoery posted:

Well, actually, ironwheel announced the fact that the military would be entering the city far in advance; the city got hit hard by a depression, and a whole bunch of abandoned buildings gradually got taken over by criminals. The military is basically planning to re-take the city and massively rehaul city infrastructure.

This makes the most sense. With what we know of Railrunner, he kills innocents and contributing members to society with impunity. Of course he'll be one to stop the military from taking back the city from crime and turning it into a safe haven.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


In Ironwheel's defense, at least he's doing something villainous. I mean it's the most :effort: act of mass murder possible ("Let's kill everyone in the city!" "But...we...own...the city..." "DON'T CARE!") but something is finally loving happening.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

JosephWongKS posted:

Now

“He can be cranky,” said Merrylegs, master of understatement and victim of Stockholm syndrome.-

I'm not sure this even qualifies as Stockholm syndrome. For Stockholm syndrome to activate, the captor must be at least somewhat kind to his captives.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

There were times during his walk that Richard Black could have sworn he was still on Earth. Birds still chirped in the canopy, squirrels still raced up tree trunks, and mosquitoes still attacked every bit of exposed skin. The plastic trees didn't appear too off so long as Black didn't look at them directly, and there were even convenient walkways to take him across the less solid areas of the swamp. Other times, however, he would spot yellow rubber ducks sleeping in circles or small plastic frogs lined up on the shore trying to jump into fast-moving glass-sided lily pads.

Black noticed something else that was off as his walk dragged on. Despite having never walked for a mile straight since his days as a beat cop, let alone ten, his bad knee still wasn't bothering him. Not only that, but his back, which had never owed him any favors, was also doing just fine. Even his legs didn't feel a bit tired after five straight miles without a break. Was this endurance a feature of Park Beyond, or some continuing side effect from whatever mix of magic had saved his life? There were still plenty of questions without answers, and considering their impact on his health, they worried Black. Still, for the moment they seemed to be only positive, and there was nothing he could do even if they weren't.

The shadows were thick by the time the detective reached Cajun Town. The village looked nothing like what Black had expected, neither in size nor in nature. Emerging from a copse of willows, Black found himself at one end of a long line of building fronts: rather than being full structures, each building was only the front-facing wall of an old-fashioned wood or brick two or three story store in the style commonly seen during the American frontier. Every storefront was painted in garish pastels across the front, but the backside was unpainted wood and support beams. The only exception was the squat concrete bunker sitting past the far side of the street, set off to one side from the line of buildings and nearly fading into the forest that surrounded the town on every side.

By far the strangest things, however, were the lights and sounds coming from within the false buildings. Looking at one from the side, it was clear that the structures took up hardly a foot in width, but the windows on the front seemed to show lit, occupied rooms inside. Although the street itself was empty, the tinkling of distant music and conversation clearly echoed between the flat walls. Remembering Beatrice's warning that "everything fake is real," Detective Black took a deep breath and opened the door to a mauve building whose tankard sign promised a drink within.

Sure enough, instead of seeing the back of a painted wall and the forest beyond it, Black found himself in a large room with the strangest mixed crowd he had ever blundered into. Half the building was set up with the standard bar and tables for humanoid occupants, but the rest was given over to stranger accommodations suitable for rides small enough to fit through the door without shifting to their human forms. For the most part this meant carousel animals and nonhuman animatrons, but Black also spied a go-kart which seemed to be on a date with a bumper car. On a two foot stage along the back wall a band of bears was playing a gusty bluegrass tune whose lyrics Rick couldn't pick out from their heavy Appalachian accent. The bar smelled like sawdust and whiskey and everyone seemed to be laughing and having a good time.

Every noise stopped when the patrons spotted Detective Black standing by the door. Every eye turned to watch him and every set of lungs seemed to hold their collective breath. Black could read the fear and distrust in every mind as though they had written the words in permanent marker across their foreheads.

Deciding to take things easy, Black sat on the nearest stool to the bartender, a portly man in a white shirt and embroidered black vest with a carefully trimmed beard. Once again the detective felt a rush of vertigo as the image of a black antique car made of fiberglass and steel imposed itself over the bartender, only to disappear a moment later. Curious, Black took a look around the room and concentrated on each individual in turn, just as though he were trying to read their personalities. Sure enough, for every human he looked at he could see their ride form, and for every ride he saw the human they could become.

"What'll you have?" the bartender, Al, repeated.

Tearing himself away from his newfound insights, Black replied, "Bourbon on the rocks, if you've got it." Al nodded and moved to get a bottle as the rest of the bar quietly turned back to their own conversations. The band also started up a new song, but this one was much quieter and darker than what they had been singing before. Black took a second look around the room as Al poured out his glass. The detective saw plenty of wary looks in his direction as the patrons talked in hushed, broken tones, but he could find no one answering to Thunderbolt's description.

Black felt mildly surprised as he sipped his whiskey. Most bourbons he'd ever had tasted of oak charcoal with a hint of sweet corn, but the drink in front of him was remarkably sweet and just a bit fruity, perfectly suited for the sort of party that was going on before he had entered rather than the dismal discussions taking place behind him now. Waving the bartender back over, Black asked, "You mind if I ask who makes this stuff?"

"Makes it?" Al asked, confused. "It comes with the bar."

"Really? Doesn't it ever run out?"

"No, it's always back the next day. Er, how long have you been around here, friend?"

"Oh, not long. Say, you mind if I ask you a question? Do you know a man--a fellow around here, looks like either a white coaster or a thin old man with a big mustache?"

Al, who had been almost smiling at the detective's ignorance, suddenly dropped a blank expression over his face. "No one here like that, friend."

Detective Black didn't have to be psychic to know Al was lying. Rick figured that all strangers were treated as agents of Iron Raptor until proven otherwise, and so getting a straight answer would be a matter of showing his trustworthiness. Fortunately, this was hardly the first time Black had ever conned his way into someone's good graces, and he happened to know a few things that the bartender likely didn't. Black took an exaggerated look around the tavern, then pulled out the roller coaster pendant he had kept hidden under his shirt. He couldn't help smiling as Al's eyes widened.

"You were right about me being a new arrival, Al. It is Al, right? Short for Electric Buggy Seven? Thunderbolt said you might know where to find him before we got separated."

Al leaned in. "Thun--he said you went mad, or else you were dead!" he whispered excitedly.

Rick smiled. "Do I look dead or crazy to you? I just had some...debts that needed settling before I came here. So you know where I can find him now?"

"The yellow shoe shop across the street. Ask for the most exciting shoes in the store. And can I say how--how glad I am that you made it after all!" Al beamed. "Your drink is on the house, sir."

"Cheers." Detective Black raised his glass and took another sip. A bourbon this fine deserved to be savored.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

Bobbin, you excel where Miranda flounders. Here the phrase “A place from the most imaginative mind” actually applies. And I also can't help but feel the "you don't belong here" atmosphere of the whole world. It takes certain willpower to really overcome the "strangeness" of the whole world and the set pieces and the creatures. As if that you're not seeing everything that is "wrong" with the world, and there are things lurking there waiting to surprise you and perhaps something more sinister than just that.

Or I've been reading too much Lovecraft lately.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


What is this? Am I...getting...INVESTED...in the story?
My hat's off to you Bobbin. You can write a cunning, likable character and provide a creative world for him. How are you going to handle currency in this world?

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008
I hope the e-book version is being updated as he goes.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 44 – Nightscare

quote:


Static and I stood in our room. It vas [sic] very late at night and we both couldn’t get to sleep. We lay awake talking about what was to happen in the future.

“Do you think Railrunner is - ready–for this?” he asked.

I thought about Static’s statement, did he not believe in the red coaster?


Why do the women in Railrunner’s life all forget that he threatened to kill them?


quote:


“Yes, he has trained hard for the very moment. Thunderbark taught him well. I think he can pull it off.”

“His attitude towards things worries me though.” He sighed.


70th sigh of the book.


quote:


“A bad attitude can come in handy.”


Yes when “bad” = “ruthless / aggressive”, No when “bad” = “stupid, awful, terrible”.


quote:


Static giggled. “You are right Merrylegs; I need to stop thinking about that. It is just the choices he made in the past are, well, not so good.”

“They got us here didn’t they?” I objected.

“You are right again. I need to quit doubting him.”


List of gently caress-ups committed by Railrunner in Merrylegs’ presence

1. Went on a rampage of destruction in the amusement park during his date with Clare

2. Inadvertently revealed his identity in Trenzon

3. Gratuitously threatened to do violence to Static in Chapter 24

(I asked her if I could sleep in more. Merrylegs then shook her head in denial.

“No, Thunderbark wants you in the courtyard. You better be glad that I woke you up and not Static.” She finished turning to him. Static smirked and chuckled, his tail shot off small sparks.

“Trust me Merrylegs, If Static woke me up, he would find himself in deep trouble and off the map.” I said eyeing him tauntingly. He winced in response.
)

4. Went out of control and bit and poisoned Thunderbark during their training duel in the Temple

5. Went back to the “real world” to visit Clare in gross violation of Thunderbark’s instructions, placing their mission in grave peril to satisfy his selfish desires

6. Took out his anger at the kidnapping of Thunderbark on Merrylegs and threatened to kill her

7. Recklessly participated in a high-profile gladiatorial tournament, greatly increasing the risk of his identity being exposed

8. Made Merrylegs wait four hours for her dinner at Hotel Silver Spoke


Now

“They got us here didn’t they?” I objected.

“You are right again. I need to quit doubting him.” :downs:


quote:



“Now, we should -.”

Suddenly Chainlink burst into the room. She was out of breath and shook up, her eyes lit with terror.

“Come quickly! Something is wrong with Railrunner!”

We ran in a blur down the hall, I heard Railrunner’s agonizing cries.

Not this! Anything but this! We entered the room, I feared the absolute worst.

That’s when I saw him, his eyes closed shut and gripping the side of the bed, bending the frame. Beads of sweat were all over him. He tossed and turned, flopping like a fish. It was apparent he was having a nightmare.


I want you to imagine a twenty-foot long, twenty-thousand pound roller coaster “flopping like a fish”. The thought is enough to brighten up a dreary day.


quote:


“Wake him up!” I yelled. Static touched him with the cable and emitted a painful shock. Railrunner didn’t wake up, Static tried again with no success.


Tension rising…


quote:


He then gave the most powerful shock he could muster, Railrunner awoke, but he wasn’t in the best condition.


And deflated in the next sentence.


quote:


Railrunner’s limbs shook and he was soaked in sweat. Blood seeped out of his arms from ripping out his IV’s. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them. He stared strait [sic] ahead clinching [sic] his teeth. His body swayed, apparently he was very dizzy.

“I... I don’t...feel like...myself.” He said stuttering horribly. Suddenly he fell backward onto the pillow; Chainlink rushed over and applied ice to his forehead. Railrunner looked around wildly, like somebody was coming for him.


Not even an icepack, but just “ice”. Highly advanced technology! :allears:


quote:


“What did you dream!” I yelled to him so it would register. He looked at me with dark eyes, they seemed like they were almost black rather than the fire coloring like they usually were.

“D... death...Ironwheel...Clare.”

It was the same as the rest. Railrunner was like Redrail, the dreams were making him reach the breaking point. Without warning the machine that he was hooked to started to go crazy. The red coaster’s heart rate went wild and so did his brainwaves.

“We are losing him!” Chainlink said.

Railrunner started to grow weaker, his body started to go limp. Then he suddenly turned to me.

“Merrylegs.”

“Yes Railrunner?”

“Get my bag...I need something...from it.”

“Okay!” I said without hesitation. The bag was hung on a hook at the other side of the room along with his coat. I quickly pulled it free and handed it to Chainlink.

“What now?” The green coaster asked.

“Pull out the bottle.” He demanded.

Chainlink fished around the bag, she then pulled out the bottle full of a red substance.

“Blood?” she asked him.

“It is the antidote.” He spoke softy. [sic]

Chainlink pulled out the cork and opened Railrunner’s mouth more. My stomach churned as I watched the red liquid go slowly down his throat.

Railrunner lay there motionless for a few seconds. Suddenly he started to perk up, he then sat up in bed and looked at us, and then he admitted a weak smile.


Note that nobody in the room has any objections, qualms or even the slightest hesitation about Railrunner drinking the blood of his foes.


quote:


“I’ve looked worse,” he said.

“You scared the hell out of me!” I told him. “Are you all right now?”

“I believe so. I had a bad dream.” He said as he let out a whoosh of air.

“So was it about -.”

“Yes it was. Worst one yet too.”

“You said there was death.” I questioned.

“Yes, I did.” He breathed heavily.

“Who died?”

“I don’t want to say it.”

“Come on!” I whispered.

He stared at me blankly, then surprisingly he got up and walked to the balcony. He hung his head low. I trotted up to him, he looked at me with sad eyes.

“Who?” I asked again.

“Clare.”


For someone so allegedly concerned about her well-being, Railrunner sure didn’t show any remorse or regret for trying to kill her in the amusement park. He was all “Clare, I didn’t… It’s not my fault!” and “Why does it have to be this way?... Why me!”

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
Bobbins, I am anticipating your updates as much as Joseph's. Also, the "rollercoasters feel fear when others are in joy" idea seems somewhat similar to Something Wicked This Way Comes.

JosephWongKS posted:

Note that nobody in the room has any objections, qualms or even the slightest hesitation about Railrunner drinking the blood of his foes.

Hey, a red rollercoaster has done the same in the past so it is obviously okay to do it. :downs:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 45 - New Worries

quote:


The following night was the night we were to take action. It was late in the afternoon and we were to start the meeting soon. All day we had spent readying ourselves for war. I had been nervous about two things: Commanding an army and the dream I had last night. Merrylegs had asked me information about it, but I didn’t want to say anything in front of Chainlink or Static. I wanted to speak to her alone, now.

I slipped on my trench coat and walked out of my room.


The thought of Railrunner in a trench-coat will never, ever stop being utterly hilarious.


quote:


I looked over the balcony to see that half the pack was down in the large weaponry room; Static was talking to Razorblade, which was a good thing. It meant that he was away from Merrylegs. Their room was downstairs, she was probably still in it. I continued to walk down to their level where the room was located. I had only been there once, so it took a couple of tries before I could find it.


Why is everyone so mean to Static?


quote:


I opened her door slightly, sure enough Merrylegs was there. She simply stared down at her suit of armor; I could tell that she did not want to do this.


This retroactively makes Merrylegs’ atrocities in Chapter 18 (Static and Merrylegs had arrived to join the party. Merrylegs lowered her horn and Static’s cable shot off hot sparks. I watched as the carousel horse’s unicorn like horn pierced through the flesh of humans.) even worse, by completing inverting her moral compass - she’s reluctant to fight Fallen who are going to wipe out a civilian town, but eager to butcher police officers doing their duty of defending the innocent.


quote:


“Merrylegs you care if I talk to you for a minute?” I said quietly so I didn’t startle her.

“No, come on in, Railrunner.” She replied turning to look at me.

“Merrylegs, I feel that- I can only talk to you about last night.” I said walking to her side.

“Ok,” she replied getting comfortable.


Any time there’s just Railrunner and Merrylegs alone in a room, I start cringing at the thought of what might happen next, and phrases like “getting comfortable” don’t help.


quote:


“Well,” I started. “I dreamt about Clare and Ironwheel.”

“I think you mentioned that already.”

“Oh, right. My nightmare went like this: I was running through the real world after Ironwheel. As the dream went on, I realized that he was carrying Clare.”

“Then what happened?”

“All I can remember is that I and Ironwheel were scaling the clock tower. I recalled Clare screaming for her life, screaming my name. Then I looked up to see Ironwheel laughing manically, then -.”

“What?” she asked.

“He dropped her. I could not catch her; she fell into an ocean of blood. She never surfaced, and then I knew she was gone.” I said sighing heavily.


71st sigh of the book.


quote:


“That is all that happened?”

“Yes, Static woke me up after that.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Railrunner. I wish Thunderbark were here to help, but I do appreciate you considering me as an honest ride.” She smiled warmly.

“You’re welcome Merrylegs.” I said to her.

“I would like to see your dream Railrunner, may I?”

“Read my mind?”

“Yes, I want to see it this time, I want to get as much information as I can to help you.”

“Fine,” I said lowering my head to Merrylegs. I waited for the sudden shock of pain when her horn touched my forehead.

It happened like before; when Merrylegs read my mind after Thunderbark disappeared. Every part of my body seemed to freeze. I could hear Merrylegs trying to fight back a scream, then she pulled away and it all stopped.

“I hate reading your mind!” she said gasping.

“Then why did you want to read it?” I laughed.

“Like I said, I wanted to help you. I think your dream means something, like it is trying to tell you -.”

It had finally dawned on me. Merrylegs gave me enough info I needed to figure this out. How could I have been so stupid and not seen it!


There’s nothing surprising whatsoever about Railrunner being stupid.


quote:


“Merrylegs, my nightmares are telling me the future!”

“But aren’t roller coasters supposed to already be able to do that?”

“Thunderbark told me that yes,” I said quickly. “However, he said that was only for practical things like the weather.”


Neither Railrunner nor Thunderbark predicted Thunderbark being kidnapped. So much for the “practical” value of their prophetic powers.


quote:


“I think I can predict death, he said no coaster could do that! I think my nightmares are trying to tell me that -.” I shut my mouth because we both knew at once. We were silent, the only thing that could be heard were the voices in the background.

“How- could it be possible?” Merrylegs questioned. “How could Ironwheel get into the real world when he doesn’t even know where the portal is?”

“I don’t know! The thing is I don’t understand how he found out about Clare!”

“That, I am not even going to attempt to answer!” Merrylegs replied, stamping one of her hooves to the ground.

I snarled in frustration and began to pace back and forth angrily.

“How far is it from Alcator to Ironwheel’s castle?”

“Not far at all, in fact it overlooks the city.”

“Good, I’m going to kill him before he can reach the real world and Clare.”


What’s the purpose of that dream anyway? He ends up doing what he’d planned to do anyway (“Most of all, I want Ironwheel dead! I want to burry [sic] him in his grave! I want to make him pay!”) and he doesn’t even have to make a detour to accomplish that goal, since Ironwheel’s castle is conveniently next door to Alcator where he’d been planning to go anyway. How can anyone fail to understand the concept of “tension” so badly?


quote:


“I’m with you. I can help.”

“Tell Static and see if he is in.” I said motioning for the door.

Merrylegs started to follow. “Right, I’ll find him. Is it all right if I tell the parts about you’re [sic] dream?”

“Yeah, now that I know what they were trying to tell me.”


Prophetic dreams are yet another literary device that Miranda Leek thoroughly misunderstands and misuses. They are supposed to be symbolic and obscure and to cause tension / conflict for the protagonist by initially leading him down incorrect paths, not solve the protagonist’s questions immediately.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

And now, the only limitation of the roller coaster prophetic vision is eliminated. Railrunner can predict death. And it also sets up one of the more stupider parts of the book which are actually rendered paradoxical but I'll not talk about it now and bring it up later when it actually comes up.

e: As for the ebook versions, I was going to update at milestones, but I'll change that to keep up with Bobbin.

Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Jun 5, 2013

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Iced Cocoa posted:

And now, the only limitation of the roller coaster prophetic vision is eliminated. Railrunner can predict death. And it also sets up one of the more stupider parts of the book which are actually rendered paradoxical but I'll not talk about it now and bring it up later when it actually comes up.

You are going to need to be more specific than "one of the more stupider parts of the book" - that describes every part of the book.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 11:10 on Jun 5, 2013

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Iced Cocoa posted:

e: As for the ebook versions, I was going to update at milestones, but I'll change that to keep up with Bobbin.

I'd disagree with doing that. Perhaps you didn't notice the plot summary and restatement of rules or the tonal shift, but "Detective Black and the Deadly Ride" and "Detective Black and the Park Beyond" are meant to be two separate works.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I'd disagree with doing that. Perhaps you didn't notice the plot summary and restatement of rules or the tonal shift, but "Detective Black and the Deadly Ride" and "Detective Black and the Park Beyond" are meant to be two separate works.

You should totally sell your completely original works on Kindle for a dollar. I'd support you :respek:.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

Mercedes posted:

You should totally sell your completely original works on Kindle for a dollar. I'd support you :respek:.

I'm pretty sure that Miranda would be able to sue him for it if she ever found out. Not very likely, but still a potential headache for Bobbin with no real gain either way.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

my dad posted:

I'm pretty sure that Miranda would be able to sue him for it if she ever found out. Not very likely, but still a potential headache for Bobbin with no real gain either way.

Is she smart enough to figure that out though? :v:

Joking aside, is it possible to say this is a parody of Miranda's work, change the names around and bypass the copyright issue?

Rose Wreck
Jun 15, 2012
E: NVM, didn't add enough.

Rose Wreck fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Jun 7, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

Well, it appears that Miranda decided to prune her gallery. She had spoken about it for a while. Apparently her main reason for that is that there were tons of pregnancy pictures appearing in the "More Like This" sections in all of her deviations (I wonder why...)

I had known this was going to happen, and I managed to save all the colored illustrations of the book, "The Most Horrifying Thing that is was in Miranda's dA Gallery" (TMHTtiwiMdAG), and all the Vertigo hints and spoilers.

With the last one it appears that my hunch was right, most of the deviations that were about Vertigo got axed as well.

As JWKS is now over two thirds done with Twisted, is there any interest in knowing what's going to happen in the sequel? Don't worry, Railrunner still gets powers for no reason at all and will go unchallenged through everything and there will also be more stupid love stuff happening.

Or is there any interest in seeing :nms::gonk::nms: TMHTtiwiMdAG? :nms::gonk::nms:

GrizzlyCow
May 30, 2011
^^^^^Yes.^^^^

Also, I'm with Rose Wreck. Lets not provoke her. We're all here to make fun of her lovely book and dismal writing. I think publishing and selling Bobbin's parody/rewriting would detract from that and be a little assholish to boot.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

GrizzlyCow posted:

^^^^^Yes.^^^^

Also, I'm with Rose Wreck. Lets not provoke her. We're all here to make fun of her lovely book and dismal writing. I think publishing and selling Bobbin's parody/rewriting would detract from that and be a little assholish to boot.

And let's not forget the issues that come with selling something that's been freely distributed. I write off the stuff I do for Something Awful as "practice." It's easier that way. I'm also in the process of writing something that is entirely original, and it's closer to finished than started at this point. I probably can't say too much without breaking forum rules, though. Heck, I still haven't come up with a good name for it yet. Still, let's enjoy what we've got while it's here, yes?

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

Do let us know when it's out. From what I've seen of your writing I only want more.

As for some actual content, have some more cow Merrylegs



Goddamn Miranda, scale. Scale is so important.

Moo.

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009
augh, the lines and crosshatching are so wonderful, why must they combine to form something so horrifying

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Well, now we know whether or not she has a pole coming out of her stomach.

I sure hope that tiny rollercoaster is Baby Railrunner and not Railrunner's baby :barf:

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


Augh christ what the gently caress

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 46 - In The Dead of Night
Part One


quote:


As I walked to the weaponry room for the meeting,


I suspect Miranda Leek thinks an “armory” is a room for protective / defensive gear and a room that holds weapons is therefore not an “armory”.


quote:


my mind was furious and full of questions, questions that I had no answer to. How could I have been that dim-witted and not seen the truth before? It was so easy to figure out! I just didn’t catch it! Why am I such an idiot! The fact that Clare could possibly die, made me wish I never became a coaster in the first place!

Yet Clare still was in love with me after she learned the truth. Maybe there was a way that I could change the future. Perhaps get to Ironwheel before he got to Clare. I knew I had to accomplish two things: Save Amusement Park Between and save my love. I couldn’t screw up no matter what.


How convenient it is that there is no trade-off or conflict between those two objectives.


quote:


During the last hour, I concurred some of the basics we could use for our battle plan.


Which part of the thesaurus did Miranda Leek take “concur” from?


quote:


I would have to speak to Razorblade about further tactics. I stood in the hallway looking out into the room. All of the pack was there, including Merrylegs and Static. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder, I turned to see that it was Razorblade.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Not really,” I lied.

“Well, I heard about last night. You must be like Redrail.”

“Unfortunately.” I sighed.


72nd sigh of the book.


quote:


“It can come in handy if you think about it.” Razorblade said as he tried to cheer me up.

“You know I can predict death?” I asked surprised.


So much for Merrylegs being able to keep a secret.


quote:


“Yep, I think it could be useful in battle if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, maybe it can,” I said seeing his point.

“I have made a map that we are going to look at, that way we can determine our maneuvers.”

“Sounds good, Razorblade.”


This is the person they are trusting to be their leader – someone who is impressed by the concept of “maps”.


quote:


“Ready for the meeting then?” He said walking to my side.

“Ready,” I replied.

Razorblade and I stepped into the great room. Every coaster looked up; they all gave me the usual emotions. Some stared, gasped, and there was the occasional smile. Then they started to bow, but then Razorblade flicked his tail, making them stop.

“Railrunner says you should not kneel to him. The red states he is like us only a different color.”


“Also, far far dumber than us.”


quote:


I could feel myself get hot with embarrassment. All the coasters looked at one another, and then they nodded in approval. In the center of the room was a large circular table. It was solid smooth steel with a chrome top.

Razorblade then held out his wheels. To my surprise, figures rose out of the top. They consisted of trees, buildings, rocks, and so forth. The mountain was at the far corner of the table, Razorblade made a “flag” come out from it.


Why is “flag” in quotation marks?


quote:



“We are here,” he said. “The prison is about twenty miles west.” He continued while making a large stone building appear. Then a dotted line ran across the table. “That is our desired path. It is the most secluded and safest one by far.”

Then Razorblade cleared the whole table, and made a large-scale model of the prison. You could see every detail as if it was a hand crafted dollhouse.

“This is the prison. It is surrounded by guards on the outside and inside. Whatever we do, it must be done quickly and silently. We don’t want Ironwheel to know until it is too late.”

I looked at the board, where every guard was stationed. I then had a plan that just might work.

“I have a suggestion,” I said.

“Go ahead general.” Razorblade said moving aside.

“It goes something like this. We should split up into two fleets. That way we can advance from behind. However, we are going to need a few from each group to take care of the watchtower and guards outside.”

“How are we going to do that without being spotted?”

I smiled and laughed deeply in my throat.


Previously he “burped deeply in [his] throat”, and now he “laughed deeply in [his] throat”. If you [make a sound] “in your throat”, doesn’t that just mean it doesn’t come out and can’t be heard?


quote:


“We disguise ourselves as Fallens. During our time in Xzerma, I witnessed what the Fallen soldiers’ uniforms looked like.”


What happened to all Fallen having an unmistakeable stench that can be detected by any roller coaster?


quote:


“How quaint, we happened to seize twenty suits of armor the day we found you in Xzerma.” Razorblade laughed.


In this context, “Quaint” =/= “Strange”.


quote:


“Perfect, you and I will wear one any of you who are brave enough to enter a Fallen lair.” I said turning to the pack. Several of the biggest coasters stepped forward, including Chainlink.

“Thank you all, now is everyone clear on the plan? All fleets invade as soon as we exterminate and give the signal.”


If “exterminate” means “exterminate / extinguish” the signal, how do you do that and “give” the signal at the same time?

Conversely, if “exterminate” means “exterminate” the enemy, isn’t that something you do after you “invade”?


quote:


“Yes,” they replied.

I took the armor that Razorblade handed me. I slipped it on under my trench coat.


Why is Railrunner slipping the armor under his stupid trench-coat? Wouldn’t that undermine the point of trying to disguise themselves in the armor?


quote:


“Tonight is the night we will take back Amusement Park Between! Now, let’s move out!” I said putting on the skull- like helmet on my head. It was now the time to get what was lost.


Do amusement park rides even have “skulls”?


quote:


The rides in the “special unit” were suited with Fallen armor and swords. The rest of our fleet wore our own colors, red and black. We were now hunting like wolves, moving silently through the forest.


Seriously, if you keep everything else in the story exactly the same (including Railrunner’s stupidity and Mary Sue-ness) but changed all the amusement park rides into werewolves, it would instantly reduce the silliness and ridiculousness of the story by 90%.



quote:


I led them, keeping myself alert. I listened for even the slightest snap of a twig, and I kept my wheels hovering over the handle of my sword.

The moon hung high overhead, it’s light reflecting off our metal and armor. The moon’s presence gave me slight comfort like it had in the real world. Then the Fallen’s foul scent came into our wake. It was greater than even in Xzerma, for our safety I sniffed and listened intently. No ride was around except for us.

“We are getting close,” Razorblade spoke softly. “It is just up that hill.”

“Good,” I said under my breath. “Very good.” I continued as I licked my lips, I wanted to taste their blood and get our revenge, and soon I would have it.

We advanced to the top of the hill. Razorblade on my right and my two friends from the beginning on my left.


When and how did Buddy and Sly enter Amusement Park Between?

(From Chapter Four: I was now sitting in the local bar called Snooks with my two friends who used to work at the factory. Buddy and Sly, as they were called, played hearts and betted on money)

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Jun 10, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

JosephWongKS posted:

Why is Railrunner slipping the armor under his stupid trench-coat? Wouldn’t that undermine the point of trying to disguise themselves in the armor?
His trench coat has already proven to be able to obscure his identity as long as it doesn't slip off. He's just going incognito because the armor will reveal that he's a red.

JosephWongKS posted:

Do amusement park rides even have “skulls”?
Yes, but I can't remember if the throne room was layered with skulls, or if it was the throne or if Ironwheel dressed himself in skulls.

JosephWongKS posted:

Seriously, if you keep everything else in the story exactly the same (including Railrunner’s stupidity and Mary Sue-ness) but changed all the amusement park rides into werewolves, it would instantly reduce the silliness and ridiculousness of the story by 90%.
Including the whole "there is a special world just for werewolves" part? In its current form it's kind of ridiculous, but as Bobbin has proven, even the whole "special world for rides" concept can be reworked into something new and alien and isn't just parallel of our world.

JosephWongKS posted:

When and how did Buddy and Sly enter Amusement Park Between?
Buddy and Sly are no longer his friends. They've been replaced by Merrylegs and Static, because friendship is all about threatening to kill each other, or just one threatening to kill the other. As long as they know who's boss and that he can kill them without exerting himself, he'll be their friend, whether they like it or not.

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

JosephWongKS posted:

Which part of the thesaurus did Miranda Leek take “concur” from?

I would guess "agree" - "concur" is the first synonym for "agree" listed in my thesaurus.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pththya-lyi posted:

I would guess "agree" - "concur" is the first synonym for "agree" listed in my thesaurus.

But who was he "concurring" with? They hadn't started the meeting at the point where he said "During the last hour, I concurred some of the basics we could use for our battle plan."

Oblivion4568238
Oct 10, 2012

The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.
College Slice
Sounds to me like Miranda was trying to use a synonym for "procured", and thought "Well, "concurred" is kinda similar, I don't even need to use the thesaraus!" Unless the sentence is about battle plans rather than battle supplies, in which case :iiam:.

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009

Oblivion4568238 posted:

Sounds to me like Miranda was trying to use a synonym for "procured", and thought "Well, "concurred" is kinda similar, I don't even need to use the thesaraus!" Unless the sentence is about battle plans rather than battle supplies, in which case :iiam:.
well, perhaps:

quote:

During the last hour, I concurred with some of the basics [basic plans] we could use for our battle plan.
In which he literally vocalized "I concur!" during the discussions.

although it really does seem like he's supposed to be acquiring things. probably.

crime weed fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Jun 10, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

It's amazing that even after managing to decipher how it could actually be about no one is really sure if he was talking with some guys about the basics or if he was gathering supplies or making some basic plan all by himself.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

JosephWongKS posted:

Which part of the thesaurus did Miranda Leek take “concur” from?

I'm seeing "approved" and "collaborated" with "concur" in their thesaurus lists.

quote:

Previously he “burped deeply in [his] throat”, and now he “laughed deeply in [his] throat”. If you [make a sound] “in your throat”, doesn’t that just mean it doesn’t come out and can’t be heard?

Nah, it means it sounds like this!

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




I find it funny that they needed Railrunner to come up with a plan that basically boils down to "Let's dress up as the enemy as a distraction while the rest of the force comes in and pounds them in the rear end in a top hat."

No one had any other ideas. It was just Railrunner walks in, announces what they're gonna do, everyone break.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Detective Black followed Al's instructions at the cobbler's shop and let an excitable teacup named Terry lead him up to an unremarkable bedroom on the second floor. The old man who stood up from the seat by the window looked strangely at home in the faux-frontier town. Thunderbolt was tall and lean, his wavy hair and mustache were an almost bluish white, and his white shirt and gem-speckled vest looked to be period-authentic for the Wild West. All he needed were a pair of tiny spectacles and Black would have sworn Thunderbolt was a well-to-do frontier banker. That, and a stocky white roller coaster train themed with electric blue lightning symbols along the sides.

He was also unhappy to see the detective. "Who are you? How'd you get Terry to let you in?" he demanded.

Rick took a deep breath. "That's a long story. Let me start by saying you might recognize this necklace I've got." Black pulled the pendant off and threw it over to Thunderbolt, whose eyes widened as he realized what he was holding. "Now that I've got your attention, I think we ought to sit down. This is going to take a while, and you'll need to hear the whole thing."

Detective Black began by describing who he was and how he came to be assigned to the case of the red roller coaster. He also took the time to explain in detail the casualties caused by Railrunner during its various rampages and the reasoning behind every act law enforcement agents performed. Black ended with the tale of his final confrontation with Railrunner on the side of the ferris wheel and how he was rescued by Beatrice, who demanded he help the Resistance before he would be allowed to go home. One thing that he left out, however, was how he had discovered the connection between fear and joy in the roller coaster train's mind.

Thunderbolt frowned more than once during Black's explanation, but he did not interrupt him. When Black began describing Railrunner's joyride down Jefferson Avenue, he turned away to watch the growing darkness through the window and didn't turn back until the detective explained how he found his way into Park Beyond. When Black caught up to the present and fell silent, Thunderbolt took a moment to gather his thoughts before responding.

"I suppose I owe you the rest of the story. You already know that my associates and I were in your city to recruit Railrunner. The yellow carousel horse who rescued Railrunner's girlfriend? Her name is Janice. She isn't here right now; I sent her on to our reporting cell to let the Resistance know the red coaster likely won't be coming. I suppose you've confirmed he isn't. Terry is the other one who came; you've already met him.

"The reason I went after Railrunner is because he was a red roller coaster train, which meant he could control blood. All us rides are at least a little organic, regardless of which form we're in, and that means he could've torn out Iron Raptor's insides even faster than Raptor's cronies could've dropped darkness on the battlefield. It didn't even matter that his seats were black; we would've painted them white. That's how us thrill rides kept Raptor at bay at first, before he found the swing who calls the night down regardless of the time of day.

"I'm afraid I may be partly to blame for what Railrunner did. I was perhaps a bit too excited at finally finding a trump card to deal with Iron Raptor, and I forgot just how desperate and lonely it feels before someone finds you and brings you to the Park Beyond, and how little control you have over yourself when your power is first Awakened. I should have waited until we were on this side to do it, but I...I was impatient."

"So why didn't you leave after the first night? Save us all a lot of trouble," Black responded.

"That was mostly Railrunner's doing. He refused to leave his girlfriend behind. We also needed to get him a proper focus, and Iron Raptor has a stranglehold on new pieces made on this side. I knew of an old roller coaster who died in the human world, though, and his focus had wound up in a museum as a curiosity. You were right that we broke in and took it the night of the breakout, detective, and that I disabled the cameras to sneak in and get it to Railrunner. Please believe me, though, I didn't expect him to attack you and the other guards like that. He could have gotten away without killing anyone. I told him to do just that."

"You expected him to run away without getting any kind of revenge? After what happened the two nights before?" Black asked. Thunderbolt sighed and turned away.

"Most of us aren't bloodthirsty monsters, detective. Most of us think it's enough to get a good fight out of those willing to give one. Iron Raptor and--and Railrunner are the exceptions, not the rule. Rides are dying every day on this side thanks to him. I suppose I felt that a few humans dying here or there were acceptable losses to stop the massacres we have to face."

"You can understand how I wouldn't think the same thing," Black dryly replied.

Thunderbolt nodded without turning back. "I guess I can only wonder what would've happened if Railrunner had made it over here alive. He insisted on remaining behind, by the way. Said his 'revenge' wasn't complete after killing the few guards at Mystic Park. I suppose he didn't notice how one of their bullets had passed clear through him, or else he thought it was a fluke. I noticed, though. That's how I knew he wouldn't be coming through, blood powers or not. I considered pushing him through, but he could've done the same to me as he did to you, and he was angry enough that I figured he would if I provoked him."

The old man finally looked back into Black's eyes. "I suppose it wasn't a total loss, though. You must be a formidable human to take on a roller coaster and win, and if you did so once, perhaps you can again."

"Not that I have a choice," Rick muttered.

"There are many times in life when we are forced down a path we do not choose. Just tell yourself this is one of them and do the best you can." Thunderbolt gave Black a tired smile and stood up. Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out a handful of quarter-sized brass tokens and a few yellow raffle tickets.

"You'll need some money if you want to get around Park Beyond safely. Travel is restricted, but the guards are easy to bribe." The old man counted out a number of tokens and handed them to the detective. Taking a closer look, he saw they were stamped "Park Beyond" on one side with the image of a generic smiling face on the other. "These coins are the basic currency on this side," the roller coaster explained. "They weren't always necessary, but Iron Raptor forces us to use them so he has something to tax." Next, Thunderbolt handed Black six tickets. The only thing printed on them were the word "TICKET" and a seven-digit number along one side. "The coins come out of arcade dispensers at a set rate per day, but to get tickets you need to prove your skill at the arcade games. The games are all fairly hard, so tickets are worth around five coins each. Of course, Raptor's men control all the coin dispensers, and if they see you doing well at the games, they'll force you to trade in your tickets one-for-one. If you're any good yourself, make sure you have another Resistance member present to distract the dispensator."

Detective Black thought for a moment. "Couldn't you just...cheat? You know, climb onto the basketball game and dunk the ball, that sort of thing? Or, hell, just break the drat thing open and get at the tickets that way?"

Thunderbark shook his head, disgusted. "The machines don't work if you don't use them properly, and they don't break so easily as they do on your side. Even Iron Raptor himself needs someone to be good at the arcade games before he can steal their tickets."

"Well, what about getting some straight from the source? I saw a maintenance shack out on the far end when I came into town."

"Maintenance shack?"

"Yeah, that big concrete bunker off to one side from the main road. Sticks out like a sore thumb."

Thunderbolt furrowed his brow, puzzled. "The only buildings in Cajun Town are false fronts. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Detective Black smiled as he began to understand. Of course the amusement rides wouldn't understand the kind of work it took to maintain the illusion of their world, just like how the guests at an amusement park carefully ignored all the employees and back entrances when they didn't have to think about them. As far as they were concerned, the bourbon restocked itself, the carrots regrew overnight, and the coin dispensers had an unlimited supply. But the hidden world that supplied the visible did exist, and the concrete building at the end of the street was the proof. Perhaps it was because he was human, or perhaps it was because he was a detective and used to getting behind normally closed doors, but Richard Black could see the employee-only entrances and, if he was right, he'd be able to make the Resistance amazingly wealthy in a single stroke.

Standing up, Detective Black dusted off his pants and got ready to leave. "Go buy us the best jambalaya in town," he directed Thunderbolt. "Tell 'em it's on me. When I get back, I'll be the richest rear end in a top hat in this whole drat world."

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

I've read Twisted! I know of all the plot yet to come, the twists and stupid powers and all that.

Reading your take on it is always surprising with what you bring to this world that I thought was done to death. I didn't know it was possible, the thought never really crossed my mind that something new could be done with the world of Twisted!

I did not see that twist coming. And while Black is certainly getting powers and insights in each chapter, it still feels more of a natural progression rather than power of convenience. While he may be diagnosed with small case of MC Syndrome, it still feels not like a cop-out and more realistic, well, within the rules of the world.

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JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 46 - In The Dead of Night
Part Two of Three


quote:


Below us was a prison that looked like Alcatraz.


“A place from the most imaginative mind” has buildings that look just like those in the “real world”.


quote:


The model back at the pack’s lair looked like an identical twin. Their guards were at either entrance.


Isn’t Railrunner already there? Can’t he confirm which entrance the guards are at, instead of having to guess that they are at “either” entrance?


quote:


Then I turned and started to speak to our army.

“All right, half of you with Razorblade and half with me. I need ten of our “Fallen” soldiers and the rest with Razorblade. Let’s move out.” I whispered just before we headed in the direction of the back entrance. The coalescence force then split, putting our plan into action.


“Coalescence” =/= “Coalition”.


quote:


Within minutes we stood, hidden among the trees, at the edge of the forest. Three roller coaster guards stood in front of the giant iron door. I looked up to see that the ride at the tower wasn’t paying much attention either. I stood and so did all the other rides in disguise.

“Call me warden.” I said giving them a crooked smile.

“Funny you should say that because, you look just like him. Coat and all, Railrunner.” Chainlink replied.


The prison warden was probably demoted to where he is now because of his deviant penchant for wearing trench-coats.


quote:


“Maybe we can use that to our advantage.”

“Well said.” She nodded.


“Maybe we can use that to our advantage” doesn’t even come close to being “Well said”. :negative:


quote:


“Come on.” I started as I advanced into the enemy’s lair.

My counterparts walked beside me as we motioned into the open.


Railrunner has no “counterparts”, only victims and patsies.


quote:


The guards looked up, they then stood straight and prepared to take orders. Chainlink was right; I did look like the warden.


Thus does Miranda Leek implicitly admit that all her roller coaster characters look identical, such that one roller coaster can perfectly imitate another simply by wearing similar types of clothes.


quote:


“Awaiting orders sir.” The grey and yellow coaster in the center announced.

I smiled wickedly.

“There has been a slight change in plan, boys. King Ironwheel wants to lay off a few of his servants.” I started as I altered my voice a little.

“W...what?” he stammered.

“That’s right, I am firing you.” I said snapping my wheels like I would fingers. My allies suddenly drew their swords and slammed them into the guards. The grey soldier stared at me in shock then back to the sword that stuck out of his belly.

“Unfortunately we have to do it in the most gruesome way possible.” I smiled as he fell to the dirt ground dead.


Railrunner is really, really terrible at the Bond One-Liner.


quote:


Then I turned to my team. “Three of you take their places; move these bastards out of the way so that they are unseen!” I whispered.

Three of us took the corpses to the woods while the watchmen had his back turned. The pack members stowed them away secretly where they could not be seen or smelt. We then quietly entered the big iron door. We were now treading even deeper in dangerous waters.

There was no guard in sight. Now was the perfect time to execute another plan.


In a world with “technology that is far more advanced than any humans”, the maximum security prison of the brutal dictatorship has no CCTV coverage of its entrances, no automatic alarms, and no security measures of any kind whatsoever other than a single layer of guards.


quote:


“I need three of you to travel through this place and exterminate any guard you come in contact with. Open any cells when you get the chance. Tell the prisoners to head for the edge of the forest.”

“Yes sir.” They replied running off.


Shouldn’t this have been planned and arranged before they entered into the place?


quote:


“Let’s go this way,” I said turning to Chainlink and the others. They nodded and started to follow. The halls were dark and eerie. It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Then we approached three guards than were walking side-by-side, not aware that we were stalking them close behind. I signaled with my wheels to move in. In no time I was just inches away from the guard’s back. I waited for my allies to get into position. Quick as lightning, we pulled out our swords and slashed their throats. After their demise, we safely stored them away.

“Nice work,” I whispered. “Now let’s get these cells open.” I said extracting my claws and obliterating the heavy iron hinges. Inside was a carousel horse. She looked petrified and backed up against the wall.


Judging by Railrunner’s interactions with Merrylegs, the carousel horse has every reason to be terrified of Railrunner.


quote:


“We are not here to harm you. This is a search and rescue. Proceed to the edge of the woods where our party awaits.” I said stepping aside. She seemed to get the point and bolted out.

Cell by cell we opened. Rides made the quiet escape into freedom. Our plan was functioning well so far. At the moment I worked on a lonely cell at the end of the hall. I lifted the door free from the wall to find a surprise.

“Don’t hurt me warden sir!” Ashsoot cried.

“I’m not the warden! It’s me, Railrunner!” I said lifting my helmet up a few inches. Ashsoot then beamed in relief.


Actually, come to think of it, how do you get a helmet to fit over a roller-coaster’s stupid snout anyway?


quote:


“Oh thank goodness!” He sighed.


73rd sigh of the book.


quote:


“Listen head down the hall and out into the woods. Our army is waiting there; tonight we are taking Amusement Park Between back.”

“Roger that!” he whispered excitedly, he then went as fast as he could in the direction where the others were traveling. I then turned to an advancing guard, that was not our own.

“What do you think you are doing!” he demanded. He raised his spear, ready to strike. I quickly stuck my claws into his chest and threw him aside.


I still can’t get over the fact that in this world with “technology that is far more advanced than any humans”, where every roller coaster can bend fire and lightning, prison guards are still armed with swords and spear and use those melee weapons instead of attacking from afar with said bending powers.


quote:


“We must work quicker! There are starting to be more of them!” I said prying a door off its hinges. All of my team nodded and began to work quicker than ever.

Soon we had opened a little more than a hundred. We had killed nearly thirty Fallen guards. Both numbers were rising by the minute.


It speaks really poorly of Amusement Park Between’s inhabitants if the brutal dictatorship, whose soldiers and guards are apparently even dumber than Railrunner, has managed to remain in power for so long.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Jun 11, 2013

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