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JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 52 - The Alliance
Part One


quote:


The knocking continued as Clare and I got to our feet. She raced to the door as I prepared to make a run for it. Clare looked through the peephole and then put her hand on the knob.

“I think it is your friends.” She said turning to me.

“Which ones? Is it Buddy and Sly or is it -.”

“It is an old man with, a young girl, and a boy.”

“You can let them in,” I sighed in relief.


81st sigh of the book.


quote:


“That’s Thunderbark, Merrylegs, and Static.”


In Chapter One, Rodney / Railrunner described Merrylegs and Static’s human forms as “They looked like they were in their middle thirties.”

Just how old is Clare if “middle thirties” means “young girl, and a boy” to her?


quote:


Clare opened the door; Thunderbark took off his cowboy hat and asked her if I was here.

“Yeah, he is. You all can come in.” Clare invited them.

“Thank you Clare,” Thunderbark replied as he stepped into the living room along with Merrylegs and Static.

“I see you made it in one piece, Railrunner.” Thunderbark said as he put his hat back on. I could barely remember his human form since I had not seen it in a while.

“Wasn’t that hard,” I smiled.

“Now that we are all here, I believe we must discuss tactics on how we are going to handle this situation.” Thunderbark began.


“Let’s get out of here immediately because, after your house, the house of your girlfriend, which the police and FBI had already raided, is the second-worst place to hide in this town.”


quote:


“Right.”

“Can I get any of you something to drink?” Clare asked us.

“Railrunner told me about some oil that you had Clare, is it possible by any chance if I could have a bit of it?” Thunderbark said sitting on Clare’s couch.

“No problem,” She laughed. “Anyone else?”

“I hate to say it, but wine would be wonderful for me, if you have it that is. If you do not, I’ll just have water please.” Merrylegs admitted.

“As a matter of fact I do actually; I’ll drink some of it as well.” Clare said heading into her kitchen.

“I’ll help you,” I followed her.


None of them even pretend to care about Static.


quote:


After Clare and I rounded up the drinks we sat around her living room. Thunderbark cleared his throat and prepared to speak.

“As we all are aware, Ironwheel is coming to the real world. We know he is going to use Clare to get to Railrunner. We need to figure up a plan on where to take her so she can be safe. Another thing about Ironwheel is that he will use the ones closest to his enemy to get to them.”

“Like Buddy and Sly?” I said in alarm.


Stop pretending, Railrunner. You don’t give a drat about either of them. You didn’t bother to visit them after you put them in hospital with glass in their hands. You didn’t even inquire after their well-being when you later met them at the amusement park. You have no friends, only people you use and then discard. You are lower than pond-scum and a horrible excuse for a sentient being.


quote:


“Exactly. We need to put these subjects under surveillance. Does anybody know of a place that is far from Mystic Park and well hidden?”

“I do, Sly lives outside of town in a cabin. It is deep within the woods. It’s very far from the park so it might be ideal.” I said standing up.

“Seems perfect Railrunner, is it big enough?” Thunderbark asked.

“Sure, it is a really nice cabin. I have actually been there a few times in the past.” I replied as I took a sip of oil.

“Thing is,” spoke Merrylegs. “What are we going to do when night falls?” she said as everyone in the room became silent.


I’m still annoyed at the whole nonsensicality of tying the transformations of amusement park rides to the rising and setting moon. What connection is there between the moon and freakin’ amusement park rides? Why not link their transformations to the opening and closing times of amusement parks? That took me literally 3 seconds. 3 seconds.


quote:


The white coaster then sighed in defeat.


82nd sigh of the book.


quote:


“Sly might have to know, it would be for his own good really.” Thunderbark unexpectedly said. I then realized what he meant.

“Now that I think about it, he should.” I sighed. “So are we just going to show up at Sly’s or what?”


83rd sigh of the book.


quote:


“Yes, you might want to - wait a minute is he married?”

“No.”

“Good, I don’t want anybody else involved. Railrunner, just call ahead of time and don’t take no for an answer.”


“I don’t want anybody else involved,” said the perpetrator of the following murder in Chapter 18:

“Time to bring this coaster into downtime!” he laughed. He aimed the weapon at my head. He placed his hand on the trigger. Before he could fire, a lightning bolt made contact with him. The air started to smell like burning flesh. I turned around to see Thunderbark standing upon the clock tower. He dropped down, landing next to me.

Thunderbark can’t even claim that he was defending Railrunner, since he (Thunderbark) knew that only roller coasters could harm another roller coaster and therefore the FBI captain couldn’t have hurt Railrunner.


quote:


“Yes, Thunderbark.” I said. However, out of the corner of my eye I saw Static gawking at the news.

“Guys, you might want to look at this,” Static said turning up the television.

“Citizens, we have breaking news again. The red roller coaster struck a gas station in the early hours of two in the morning. There are many injuries and one dead. Everyone is advised to be cautious. Police and troops are now setting a perimeter, yes everyone, the red is back.”


Just as I’d guessed, Railrunner hadn’t left the gas station without leaving a trail of casualties behind him. Clare has already descended into complete amorality, judging by her utter lack of reaction to, or even mentioning of, those casualties on the way back from the gas station to her home. \

Unfortunately for the forces of good, the police have become woefully inefficient ever since Detective Black’s retirement – it’s been more than two hours (119 minutes for the movie, plus the time spent walking back from the gas station) since Railrunner’s devastation of the gas station and the police still have not tracked down Railrunner.


quote:


“Railrunner!” Thunderbark said angrily. “What did I tell you!”

I hesitated at answering; I didn’t want to see his piercing eyes. “I had to, Clare was in trouble. The human assaulted her.”

“It is true.” Clare said backing me up.


Have they never heard of the concept of “disproportionate response”?


quote:


“Well, it does totally ruin our chances of taking your Mustang. Since the police know it belongs to you.” Thunderbark said rubbing his head. “Any ideas on where we are to find a car?”


Seems like Thunderbark’s brief stay in prison hasn’t wisened him up in the least – he’s already back to his old idiotic self. It’s not like the police only knew that Railrunner’s car is Railrunner’s car just because he committed that recent atrocity at the gas station.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Jun 19, 2013

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JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 52 - The Alliance
Part Two of Two


quote:


“We could buy a car.” Static spoke.

“Last time I checked Static, we are broke!” Merrylegs said rolling her eyes.


Tension rising…


quote:


Then I had a thought. I reached into the bag and pulled out the sack that had all my g’s in it. I slowly opened it to see several sets of one hundred dollar bills, lots of real world money.

“Thunderbark,” I began. “How much is ten thousand g’s in real world currency?”

“I think, a hundred thousand dollars, why?”

I dumped the bag out onto the floor, the stacks of bills hit the hardwood with a thud. Everyone’s mouths, dropped wide open.


And resolved immediately by magic transforming money.


quote:


“Where in the hell did you get all that!” Thunderbark said excitedly.

“Won it, to the dealership then?” I said as I put on my jacket.

“Yup.”

Hours later we drove out of the lot with my new car. I liked it, so did Clare, and Static. However, Thunderbark and Merrylegs thought differently.

“I cannot believe you bought a Hummer,” Thunderbark said crossing his arms.

“It is an armored Hummer to be precise.” I pointed out. Thunderbark however, still continued to grumble.

“We kind of stick out.” Merrylegs said looking out the window.

“You guys need to learn how to have fun,” Static laughed. “I like the twenty four inch chrome rims the best.”

“Stupid.” I heard Thunderbark say under his breath. I sighed.


84th sigh of the book.


quote:

“Look on the bright side, it is a big plus it is an armored car. So it gives us extra protection in case we are ambushed at all. The thing about it is, lots of people have done the wildest things to their rides here, so nothing to worry about.”

“Wait a minute, aren’t armored cars the ones used by the secret service?” Merrylegs asked.

“Exactly, that is why I could not pass this up. Trust me think, James Bond.”

“Oh, I see now! Good idea Railrunner.” Thunderbark said suddenly. “I know what you are talking about now, forget I said anything.”

“Will do.” I smiled.


:negative:

Is there a word for something that goes beyond “Mary Sue”?


quote:


A little while later, the afternoon hours had settled in and the sky turned to various shades. Merrylegs, Static, and Clare were asleep in the back seat.

Just Thunderbark and I were awake in the front.

“I need to tell you something, Railrunner.” He said as he kept his eyes glued to the road.

“What?”

“Do you remember the night when we were stealing the Augu Ra?”

“Yes. Of course.” I replied as I recalled the old mission.

“You remember the chilling ice breath I made?”

“Yeah.”

“Every roller coaster has a special talent, even the red. Mine is ice, I can freeze things; control it like fire and lightning.”

“Is mine having those nightmares?” I grumbled.

“No, that is not included. You will discover your special talent when you reach your most desperate point.”

“Thanks for telling me.” I said looking out the window at the over-grown landscape.

“You’re welcome.” Thunderbark replied quickly.

Deep in my mind, I already knew when that was going to be.


Railrunner’s special talent is to be absolved of all responsibility and guilt for the many, many atrocities he’s committed and to deliver forgiveness to others for the wrongs he’s done to them.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Jun 19, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

quote:

“Look on the bright side, it is a big plus it is an armored car. So it gives us extra protection in case we are ambushed at all. The thing about it is, lots of people have done the wildest things to their rides here, so nothing to worry about.”

Rodney owns an Mustang. And Clare owned a convertible. While Rodney had a job as an engineer at a cake factory (what?), we never get to hear what job Clare has that allows her to afford such a car. And now owning a armored secret service hummer becomes an expensive deal?

Also, I know that Hummer did pride itself in making special order cars, but why would there be a "secret service" model of a Hummer on the showfloor at all? It would take months to actually get the car if it was special ordered, so it appears that the dealership had one just lying around for someone to buy.

Also, the Secret Service doesn't use Hummer, they use armored Chevy Suburbans.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




I hate this book so much.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

quote:

A little while later, the afternoon hours had settled in and the sky turned to various shades.

Don't bother to describe them then or anything.

attackbunny posted:

Metamorphosis
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into an anthropomorphic roller coaster. "This is great" he said.

:laffo:

Phummus
Aug 4, 2006

If I get ten spare bucks, it's going for a 30-pack of Schlitz.
Lord of the Rings

Frodo got a ring from his uncle. "Frodo, there is something I must tell you. This ring is pretty cool."

"Cool", Frodo expressed.

"NO!" Said the wagon maker. "I'm a wizard and that is a bad ring."

Frodo put on the ring and killed orcs with concussion beams.

"Cool", Frodo uttered.

Then gollum bit his finger and fell into the lava to Frodos amusement.

"Cool" Frodo verbalized.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Phummus posted:

Lord of the Rings

Frodo got a ring from his uncle. "Frodo, there is something I must tell you. This ring is pretty cool."

"Cool", Frodo expressed.

"NO!" Said the wagon maker. "I'm a wizard and that is a bad ring."

Frodo put on the ring and killed orcs with concussion beams.

"Cool", Frodo uttered.

Then gollum bit his finger and fell into the lava to Frodos amusement.

"Cool" Frodo verbalized.

Not even a single sigh?

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

quote:

Trust me think, James Bond.

Gotta put this one in the hall of fame with the others. I have no idea what the intended sentence would look like.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Gotta put this one in the hall of fame with the others. I have no idea what the intended sentence would look like.

She probably meant "Trust me, think 'James Bond'".

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




JosephWongKS posted:

She probably meant "Trust me, think 'James Bond'".

Knowing Miranda Leek, she probably meant "Trust, me think James Bond." :btroll:

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying

JosephWongKS posted:

Is there a word for something that goes beyond “Mary Sue”?
This is a level beyond Mary Sue. I call it...Mary Two. :ssj:

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Railrunner is basically Red John.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009

quote:

“Thunderbark,” I began. “How much is ten thousand g’s in real world currency?”

“I think, a hundred thousand dollars, why?”

So one g = ten dollars.

Buying a ship and hiring a crew to go with it was seven thousand g’s, so seventy thousand dollars. One night in the penthouse suite in Zegria was six hundred g’s. So, six thousand dollars. One drink in a small bar in a small village cost six g’s. So... sixty dollars.

Man, that guy ripped Railrunner off. Good for him.

GrizzlyCow
May 30, 2011
I refuse to believe this was written by an actual human being. I am now convinced that you are making this up. Someone would have to be a total sociopath to believe that these miscreants are actually good, moral people. They're all just so horrible. The story is just so bad. I'm offended by the thought that anyone would charge money for this horseshit. It is too cruel a thought.


Sindai posted:

This is a level beyond Mary Sue. I call it...Mary Two. :ssj:

Someone needed to go there. You're an honor to your country, son.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

GrizzlyCow posted:

I refuse to believe this was written by an actual human being. I am now convinced that you are making this up. Someone would have to be a total sociopath to believe that these miscreants are actually good, moral people. They're all just so horrible. The story is just so bad. I'm offended by the thought that anyone would charge money for this horseshit. It is too cruel a thought.
Combined with the horrible abuse subtext in the story, one must wonder about the kind of life the author leads.

Madoushi
May 9, 2003

Some days, you just get up on the wrong side of the bed...
Are car dealerships really okay with someone dumping a bag of cash in front of them and sighing "Give me something bulletproof"?

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
List of atrocities and villainous acts committed by Railrunner and his gang of psychopathic monsters

Chapter 4
1. Shattered the beer bottles being held by his friends Buddy and Sly, injuring their hands
2. Killed a cat
3. Wrecked the ambulance that came in response to Buddy and Sly's injuries
4. Wrecked a bar, killing at least 1 civilian
5. Attacked the bar-owner
6. Attacked the police officers who came in response to the chaos, killing 5 of them

Chapter 5
7. Killed and ate a bull

Chapter 8
8. Attacked his girlfriend Clare

Chapter 9
9. Attacked Detective Black when he jumped in front of Clare to defend her from Railrunner's assault
10. Ran through the carnival, destroying nearly everything in his path, from toppling over small rides to completely obliterating food stands
11. Killed and ate a "fat black and white dairy cow"
12. Attacked and killed a SWAT officer who came in response to the chaos
13. Attacked his girlfriend Clare again
14. Attacked Detective Black again
15. Tried to attack Thunderbark with lightning

Chapter 11
16. Cold-bloodedly murdered a gang of thugs who had accosted Clare but who had swiftly surrendered after seeing Railrunner's were-roller-coaster form
17. Attacked a pair of police officers who had come in response to a report of armed robbery in the area
18. Pushed large trucks out of his way while chasing the abovementioned police officers on the road, presumably causing multiple vehicle collisions

Chapter 13
19. Killed a police officer by biting him in the neck
20. Killed another police officer by deflecting a bullet back into the police officer
21. Caused mass destruction to a group of police officers by firing a “concussion beam”
22. Flattened some more police officers by “flipping their cruisers” and crushing them underneath

Chapter 15
23. Cruelly destroyed a mouse by manipulating the metal in its blood
24. Inflicted a minor injury on Detective Black
25. Slammed a few police offices on to a wall
26. Smashed a few more police officers with his tail
27. Knocked out a police officer by popping open his restraint
28. Attempted to crush a FBI captain by throwing a police car at him

Chapter 16
29. Broke into a museum and stole a piece of jewellery known as the Augu Ra

Chapter 18
30. Threw a dog into a tree, knocking it out (Thunderbark)
31. Destroyed a ferris wheel by climbing onto and then jumping off it with all of twenty thousand pounds of weight
32. Threw an armored truck at a group of police officers, hitting “several squad cars and policemen”
33. Broke off a light post and used it as a bat, breaking bones and smashing cars
34. Stabbed police officers with her “unicorn-like horn” (Merrylegs)
35. Stung people “as if they were a scorpion’s prey” (Static)
36. Disintegrated a row of police officers with his McGuffin
37. Struck down an FBI captain with a lightning bolt (Thunderbark)

Chapter 26
38. Went out of control (again) during a sparring session and bit and poisoned Thunderbark

Chapter 27
39. “Wiped out the first row of helpless men” with “a searing inferno”
40. Destroyed six tanks of soldiers

Chapter 35
41. Threatened to kill Merrylegs
42. Threatened to assault Static

Chapter 36
43. Threatened to “cut the restraints off” a bartender roller-coaster
44. Threatened to “shove the head up” a “diminutive” tin-lizzy ticket-taker

Chapter 38
45. Seriously considered the deliberate killing of another gladiator solely because the other gladiator had smack-talked Railrunner

Chapter 39
46. Made Merrylegs and Static wait four hours for dinner while he indulged his gluttony

Chapter 40
47. Went out of his way to kill a roller-coaster bandit for his blood, without the slightest hesitation or regret

Chapter 47
48. Threatened Merrylegs because she had the sheer temerity to ask Railrunner to use his death-prediction powers to predict which of their allies might die in the upcoming battle
49. Caused mass destruction to the town of Alcator during his “liberation” of it

Chapter 50
50. Killed one person and injured many others at a gas station

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 53 – Unexpected
Part One


quote:


Thunderbark and I sat in silence as we veered off the highway and onto our exit. The road became narrower and more hazardous. It now seemed that we were driving in the mountains with the large cliffs and surrounding trees. One false move and we could go over.

“It is getting cold; I’m turning on the heater.” Thunderbark said as he reached for one of the many buttons.

“Wait! That’s not -.”

The radio turned on full blast, waking everyone up. I quickly turned it off.

“Whoops.” Thunderbark said almost choking on his laughter.

“Well, we are up now.” Merrylegs yawned.

“We are almost there anyways; I think I’ll call Sly now.” I said pulling out Clare’s cell phone. I dialed his number and waited.

“Let me talk to him, Railrunner. I have an idea.” Thunderbark said holding out his hand for the phone. I reluctantly handed it to him, right as Sly answered. After his greeting, Thunderbark began to handle everything like a pro.

“This is Woody Jackson of the US secret service. For federal investigations we will be staying at your residence. The situation concerns you and the ones known as Rodney and Clare. Several of our agents will serve as your guards until further notice.” Thunderbark said in a serious tone. For a minute there was a long silence between the two, and then he unexpectedly smiled and hung up.


This is Miranda Leek’s idea of “handle everything like a pro”?


quote:

“We’re in.” Thunderbark said handing the phone to Clare. I looked at him astonished, surprised that he actually pulled it off successfully.

“That probably is the best bullshit I have ever seen anyone pull off.”

“I’m pretty good at it,” he laughed.


All this shows is that Rodney / Railrunner’s friends are as gullible and stupid as he is.


quote:


“What did he say?” Merrylegs asked.

“He basically just took it all in, plus he still gave me directions in case you didn’t remember where it is.” Thunderbark finished looking to the sky.

“We don’t have much longer, we need to hurry.”

“We are here anyway.” I said pulling into Sly’s driveway. I climbed out of our car and slammed the door shut behind me. The rest of the crew followed me to Sly’s front door. All of us stood on his porch and
waited on an answer. Finally he did.

“It has been a while Rodney.” He said with a grin. “Come on in, it is going to be night soon, and you know what that means.” He said with his voice stricken with worry.

“Don’t I ever,” I mumbled out. Suddenly I heard the faint sound of tires running over dead leaves.

“You hear that?” I asked Thunderbark.

“Hear what?”

“Never mind, let’s get inside.” I said walking into his warm house. Sly sat in his big chair by the fireplace as everyone else surrounded the edges of the room. I tried to gather up my words before I spoke. Thunderbark took a seat at my side, preparing to back me up on anything. Then I sighed and started.


85th sigh of the book.


quote:


“Sly, we are here because -.”

“Because of what?” he interrupted.

“Well, you are involved with - the red roller coaster case.” I said, the words tickling my tongue.

He stared at us blankly, and then he finally spoke after a brief moment.

“Why am I involved! I had nothing to do with it! I didn’t create it is that is what you people think!” Sly objected angrily.

“Should we tell him?” I asked Thunderbark.

“You should, I’ll correct anything you missed.” He replied.

“Sly, you better listen up, I am not repeating any of this, and you must tell no one!” I said in a way that Thunderbark would have.

“Fine, do you know information on that thing?”

“You could say that,” I said biting my lip.

“Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“There is a place called Amusement Park Between. It is the afterlife that rides experience when they are no longer used or destroyed. The bad ones, the ones that were obliterated, are known as the Fallens. They are pure evil and are under the rule of King Ironwheel. There was only one ride in particular that could kill him, the red coaster.”

“Wait a minute!” Sly interrupted. “Are you saying that the red roller coaster is a good guy!”


The fact that Miranda Leek wrote Sly as simply believing everything Railrunner says about the existence of “Amusement Park Between” and “Fallen” and “King Ironwheel”, at the first go, without the slightest skepticism or disbelief at such outrageously stupid bullshit, legit makes me furious. This is the laziest of lazy writing. This is the laziest of lazy writing.


quote:


“Trust me, I know.” I said smiling. “As I was saying, the red is the only one that was born, he wasn’t like any of the other rides. The red is - special, a key to their prophecy.”


“Trust me, I know the red roller coaster is a good guy”, said the red roller coaster, after killing one person and injuring “many” people at a gas station earlier in the morning.


quote:


“Then why was he here and not in Amusement Park Between!”

Thunderbark nodded for me to give him permission to speak, I agreed and he started.

“Well the red was actually in Amusement Park Between for about a week after he was born, but little did his mother know that when he was brought into the world that every coaster knew, even Ironwheel. So the evil king sent out his armies and his best general, Freakshow, to kill the red. The ones who practically raised him, left to hide the red in the real world for safe keeping. The troops soon caught up to them, but his mother sacrificed herself to save them. Then when they arrived here they secretly watched over him for thirty six years.”


It bothers, bothers, bothers, bothers, bothers me that Sly automatically and immediately accepts every nonsensical thing Rodney / Railrunner tells him.


quote:


“How in the hell could they watch him for thirty six years without being noticed!” Sly cried in shock.

“Their race is a lot more advanced. Plus they can disguise themselves as humans.”


We’ve seen how “advanced” the level of technology in Amusement Park Between is, and given that Railrunner is their paragon of virtue, they clearly aren’t spiritually or morally advanced either. So in what way are the amusement park rides “a lot more advanced”?


quote:


“It is official, this is a new level of weird.”

“It is true, better believe it Sly.” I said.

“How do all of you know this?” He asked.

All of us looked at one another for an explanation.


Why do they never prepare a cover story in advance? What happened to being “pretty good at” subterfuge?

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 10:04 on Jun 20, 2013

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


I hope this teaches you not to offer a book review as a prize

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 53 – Unexpected
Part Two of Two



quote:


All of a sudden the front door flew open. A cop entered and pointed a gun at my face. Everyone stood in alarm, backing up to the walls, Clare looked horrified.


Why is everyone backing up to the walls “in alarm”? All the amusement park rides know that Railrunner is immune to bullets.


quote:


I stared at the officer; my heart skipped a beat when I discovered that he was Buddy.

“Buddy? You’re a -.” I said holding my hands up into the air.

“I am now, you made a mistake in buying that car, signing your name on the dotted line.” He cut in.

“drat it!” I said frustrated, thinking about how careless I had been.


They… I don’t even… what? They bought the car under Rodney’s own name? When they know he’s wanted by the police and FBI? After they just saw the news programme stating that the police and FBI have been alerted to his return? This isn’t “carelessness”, this is a level of stupidity which all the languages of the world put together are insufficient to describe.


quote:


“Yeah Rodney, since I joined the force wanting to exterminate the red, I learned a few things.”

“What the hell is going on!” Sly said franticly.

“I learned what you really are - Railrunner.”
s
I went completely silent and so did all my allies. Clare glared at Buddy angrily. I had now been fully exposed to my best friends.

“Are you telling me that Rodney - is the roller coaster?” Sly said as he finally realized.

“Yeah, and his real name that he is known as is Railrunner.”

“Wait,” Sly began. “Does that mean that all of you are -.”

Thunderbark unexpectedly nodded. Sly and Buddy’s eyes widened.


I can understand why Sly is surprised, but why is Buddy surprised? He knew that Rodney was Railrunner - surely he should have anticipated that the people travelling with Railrunner are in cahoots with him.

Man, ever since Detective Black retired the quality of the local police has gone downhill really fast. How desperate they must be for recruits if they are taking on people who are Rodney’s friends, all of whom are evidently infected by his aura of stupidity and incompetence.


quote:


“Crap, it is a rat’s nest!” Buddy growled in pure rage. He then pressed the gun closer to me, I glanced down to examine it. I smiled, seeing something that I had missed before. Then I looked out the window to
discover that I had only a few seconds left. I could already feel the change coming.

“Buddy.” I stammered.

“What?”

“How are you going to kill me if your gun is on safety and that I’m immortal?” I growled.

He looked at his gun in disbelief. I quickly turned and kicked him out the front door, hitting him in the ribs. I peered out to see that the moon had finally risen.


At the start of Chapter 51, “Clare and I moved silently through her neighborhood. It was now five in the morning and still no one stirred.”

A few paragraphs later in Chapter 51, “I nodded in reply and looked to the horizon. In the far off distance I could see the faint rays of the sun. “

Still in Chapter 51, they watched the movie “Roller Coaster”, which is 119 minutes long. At this time, it would be about seven in the morning.

After that, there was a brief conversation and a kissing scene, before Thunderbark, Merrylegs and Static arrived in Chapter 52.

In Chapter 52, they had a brief discussion on what to do next, and agreed to expropriate Sly’s home to be their base of operations. They lamented their lack of a car and then Railrunner took out his bag of magic transforming money. Let’s be generous and say that one hour has passed, so it’s now about eight in the morning.

Still in Chapter 52, “Hours later we drove out of the lot with my new car…. A little while later, the afternoon hours had settled in and the sky turned to various shades.” This means it took them at least 5 hours to buy a car, but set that aside for the moment. Let us say that “afternoon hours” is about 4 pm.

They reached Sly’s home at the start of Chapter 53, and there was no time-skip in between the start of Chapter 53 and “the moon had finally risen” described above. Let’s say the moon rises at 8 pm. So this means it took about 4 hours for them to drive to Sly’s home, “who lives outside of town in a cabin”. Just how huge is this “small town” if “outside of town” encompasses an area four hours away by car?


quote:


I doubled over in pain as everything started. It raced through me quicker than before. I felt my hands turn back into wheels and the rows of seats sprout along my back. I grew less and less human, more like I really was. Then all the pain stopped and I became whole again.


How large is Sly’s cabin if it can (apparently comfortably, since there is no indication that any furniture was destroyed or knocked out of the way during the transformation) accommodate a seventeen-foot tall, twenty-thousand pound roller coaster?


quote:


I sprang out the door and stood over Buddy. I lowered my head and bared my fangs. I then let lose a rippling growl in the man’s face. Buddy looked at me horrified, he then picked up his gun, but before he could fire I placed a set of wheels onto his wrist so he could not aim it fittingly.

“I would not do that if I were you, the bullet will just do the boomerang effect.” I said prying the gun from his hand.


“The boomerang effect”. :lol:


quote:


Buddy fought for custody of the weapon, but he lost.


“Custody of the weapon”. :lol:


quote:


I flung it aside into the bushes. “I’m not going to kill -.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Thunderbark as his true self racing toward me. He shoved me off of Buddy and glared deeply into my eyes with his.


Is there a need to state “with his (eyes)”? Do people in Tennessee “glare” with their noses, their teeth or other parts of their body?


quote:


“What did I tell you about over doing it!” he scolded.

“He was going to kill himself! Ever notice that bullets simply bounce off of you and hit the shooter?” I argued.

“I’m not blind Railrunner.” He growled.

“So, you owe me an apology!”

“Sorry.” He said crossing his arms. “What are we going to do with him?”


I should start keeping track of the number of times people apologise to Railrunner.


quote:


I looked back at Buddy, his eyes went from me to Thunderbark over and over again. Then Merrylegs and Static joined us along with Clare and Sly.

“This is - absurd.” Buddy said aloud.

“I know, I thought it was stupid too when Thunderbark here told me the story.” I said holding a set of wheels for him to pull himself up.

“Why did you kill all those people, Railrunner?”

“Allow me to explain that one,” Thunderbark started. “When a roller coaster enters the real word for the first time, it cannot change into its real self; it remains in its human form. It stays human until it touches the rails or rides an actual coaster. Then its ride form is activated and the roller coaster’s own will is not in control, kind of like a lycan. It remains that way until its first full moon where it gains control from then on.”


Even if we accept that specious reasoning, Railrunner is still responsible for everything he did after “gaining control” in Chapter 13, which is all of the following:

Chapter 13
19. Killed a police officer by biting him in the neck
20. Killed another police officer by deflecting a bullet back into the police officer
21. Caused mass destruction to a group of police officers by firing a “concussion beam”
22. Flattened some more police officers by “flipping their cruisers” and crushing them underneath

Chapter 15
23. Cruelly destroyed a mouse by manipulating the metal in its blood
24. Inflicted a minor injury on Detective Black
25. Slammed a few police offices on to a wall
26. Smashed a few more police officers with his tail
27. Knocked out a police officer by popping open his restraint
28. Attempted to crush a FBI captain by throwing a police car at him

Chapter 16
29. Broke into a museum and stole a piece of jewellery known as the Augu Ra

Chapter 18
30. Threw a dog into a tree, knocking it out (Thunderbark)
31. Destroyed a ferris wheel by climbing onto and then jumping off it with all of twenty thousand pounds of weight
32. Threw an armored truck at a group of police officers, hitting “several squad cars and policemen”
33. Broke off a light post and used it as a bat, breaking bones and smashing cars
34. Stabbed police officers with her “unicorn-like horn” (Merrylegs)
35. Stung people “as if they were a scorpion’s prey” (Static)
36. Disintegrated a row of police officers with his McGuffin
37. Struck down an FBI captain with a lightning bolt (Thunderbark)

Chapter 26
38. Went out of control (again) during a sparring session and bit and poisoned Thunderbark

Chapter 27
39. “Wiped out the first row of helpless men” with “a searing inferno”
40. Destroyed six tanks of soldiers

Chapter 35
41. Threatened to kill Merrylegs
42. Threatened to assault Static

Chapter 36
43. Threatened to “cut the restraints off” a bartender roller-coaster
44. Threatened to “shove the head up” a “diminutive” tin-lizzy ticket-taker

Chapter 38
45. Seriously considered the deliberate killing of another gladiator solely because the other gladiator had smack-talked Railrunner

Chapter 39
46. Made Merrylegs and Static wait four hours for dinner while he indulged his gluttony

Chapter 40
47. Went out of his way to kill a roller-coaster bandit for his blood, without the slightest hesitation or regret

Chapter 47
48. Threatened Merrylegs because she had the sheer temerity to ask Railrunner to use his death-prediction powers to predict which of their allies might die in the upcoming battle
49. Caused mass destruction to the town of Alcator during his “liberation” of it

Chapter 50
50. Killed one person and injured many others at a gas station


quote:


Buddy shook his head trying to get the better of things. Sly then came over and helped Buddy up.

“It is real, Buddy.”


How does he know? He wasn’t present at any of those events, and this is the first time he’s hearing about it.


quote:


“ It took me some time to believe it too.”


They just came here less than 10 minutes ago, how does that amount to “It took me some time to believe it too”?


quote:


“Clare is the same way.”


How does he know? This is the first time he’s met Clare in the company of these amusement park rides or otherwise been aware that Clare was in on the secret.

Lazy, lazy, lazy writing.

quote:


If you come inside, they can explain to you what is going on.” Sly said with a hand on Buddy’s shoulder.

“Before we do anything, we have to know if you are with us and not with the force.” I demanded.

Buddy sat there for a minute, he then reached for the radio from his belt, I prepared to make a move, but he shocked me. Buddy took the radio and threw it from the cliff along with his cell phone.

“I’m in, because you stuck with me through all kinds of misfortunes.” He said holding out his hand to me.


“All kinds of misfortunes”, none of which we’ve seen or heard of.


quote:


“Don’t shake unless you seriously mean it.” I said sternly as I held my wheels before him. Without hesitation, he shook them. Then he took his badge and threw it down into the ravine.

“I quit.” He smiled.


Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy writing.


quote:


“Then I guess you won’t need this!” Thunderbark said leaning against the squad car. He lifted it up and tossed it down the cliff along with the rest of his belongings. The car landed with a loud thud against the many trees.

“The brakes stuck anyway.” Buddy laughed.


Why are they wantonly destroying the police car? Setting aside its pure utilitarian value as an additional vehicle, Buddy’s status as an insider in the police force is immensely valuable for a group of renegades on the run. Why is everyone in this book (other than Detective Black) so utterly god-drat stupid?


quote:


“Come on, we’ll explain this whole mess.” I said walking into the cabin. Everyone followed me inside, ready to hear the whole story again.

After my story was told and the confinement was cleared, I prepared to tell the reason why we were all here. I remained quiet sipping a beer while Thunderbark finished up. Sly and Buddy occasionally looked from Thunderbark to me. Their eyes looked me up and down completely; I could tell that they were still having trouble grasping the truth.

“Your turn Railrunner, just tell them why we are watching them.”

“Wait, your babysitting us?” Sly remarked.


They are not baby-sitting you, they are deliberately putting you in harm’s way by their very presence.


quote:


“If you will listen, you’ll know why.” Thunderbark growled.

I cleared my throat as I sat the bottle on the end table. “I fought with Ironwheel about two days ago; he escaped with a map showing where the portal to your world is. The portal is in Mystic Park.”

“It is?”

“Yes, Ironwheel is looking for me, and he wants to kill me. In other words finish off what Freakshow started. Ironwheel will use the ones closest in my life so he can reel me in. He did that with Thunderbark while in Amusement Park Between. Ironwheel will not take any chances, he will do it here.”

“So that’s why you all are watching us then?”

“Yes, it is for your own safety.” Merrylegs said.

“Any comment?” I asked them.

Buddy raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“How in the hell did your mother get -.”

“Don’t even ask. Not a single one of us can answer that!” I said holding back laughter. “Even though I am a roller coaster, I think that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

This time everyone in the room laughed, even Thunderbark himself.


Unfortunately, Miranda Leek can and has answered that question, in great and horrifying detail.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 12:30 on Jun 20, 2013

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
The second part of the chapter has content from the first part as well - you may want to delete that.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009
Miranda's never met actual humans. Only explanation.

quote:

I looked at him astonished,
Why were you astonished?

quote:

surprised that he actually pulled it off successfully.
Oh, right.

quote:

“We are almost there anyways; I think I’ll call Sly now.” I said pulling out Clare’s cell phone.
"I keep hold of her phone for her. If she wants to use it, she only has to ask."

quote:

Thunderbark nodded for me to give him permission to speak, I agreed and he started.
"I expect my friends to get my permission to speak before they say anything. But that's just good manners."

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


FYAD: the book

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Jeek posted:

The second part of the chapter has content from the first part as well - you may want to delete that.

Thanks! I've fixed my post.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

Buddy and Sly seem to have lost all scorn for rollercoasters in the mean time then.

quote:

“So Rod, where did you get your job?” asked Sly.

“At Mystic Park. I’m the new roller coaster engineer.”

“Rodney! Of all jobs, a roller coaster engineer? I thought you were better than that!” He objected.

“Yeah Rodney, you could have had a job working on cars. I hate those drat roller coasters. They piss you off in more ways than one,” Buddy laughed.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

So according to Miranda, criminals, cops or any kind of law enforcement and men hitting on Clare are not "people". How the hell can you be so blind? How is it even possible that she never stopped to consider the fact that Railrunner killed several people after he gained control? How the hell is it possible to think that if someone threatens you while you know that they can't do poo poo to you at all it's okay to kill them?

:v: Officer, I was home invaded. I broke the burglar's arms and legs but he spit on me so I had to eliminate the threat he posed to me.
:cop: Don't worry, that's totally reasonable reaction, you're free to go.

When I first read that part of the book, I seriously thought that Railrunner was going to kill Buddy. There was no question about it. Buddy was a cop now and all cops have to die if they even think about Railrunner.

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009
Les Miserables
"I did not attack the man" Fantine sighed

"Oh ok that makes sense," Javert laughed

Fantine then transformed into a roller coaster and gave birth

Enqueue scene "Javert's Suicide"

VictualSquid
Feb 29, 2012

Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.
Every time you post a chapter, I try to read along. Every time I give up halfway trough, and just read your comments.

Miranda Leek is definitely a unique writer. I don't think there are more like her. If there are, please don't don't tell me.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

quote:

“This is Woody Jackson of the US secret service. For federal investigations we will be staying at your residence. The situation concerns you and the ones known as Rodney and Clare. Several of our agents will serve as your guards until further notice.” Thunderbark said in a serious tone. For a minute there was a long silence between the two, and then he unexpectedly smiled and hung up.

Ahaha. I know the guy is spouting bullshit on purpose, but it's so rare that I see fictional characters violate the Third Amendment to the US Constitution.

Constitution of the United States of America posted:

"No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law."

Federal agents can operate inside a person's home for the sake of an imminent security risk, but they cannot "stay" at a residence except in shifts.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

tonberrytoby posted:

Every time you post a chapter, I try to read along. Every time I give up halfway trough, and just read your comments.

Miranda Leek is definitely a unique writer. I don't think there are more like her. If there are, please don't don't tell me.

You had to remind me of one whom I ran into some time ago. When the whole "anthro airplanes" came up on the "strangest things on DA" thread, I figured I could look into some of the more absurd drawings. I encountered someone's DA account. Saw that the artist claimed to have published seven books already and one of his/her drawings actually made it on board the ISS. I'm ashamed I found the artist again so quickly.

I looked at the preview of one of the books and it's totally bonkers.

Here is the rest of the author's books.

I should stop looking for the freaks as this brings no joy.

Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Jun 20, 2013

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
"Do the boomerang effect" sounds like something you'd say before bursting into dance.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Iced Cocoa posted:

You had to remind me of one whom I ran into some time ago. When the whole "anthro airplanes" came up on the "strangest things on DA" thread, I figured I could look into some of the more absurd drawings. I encountered someone's DA account. Saw that the artist claimed to have published seven books already and one of his/her drawings actually made it on board the ISS. I'm ashamed I found the artist again so quickly.

I looked at the preview of one of the books and it's totally bonkers.

Here is the rest of the author's books.

I should stop looking for the freaks as this brings no joy.

Yeah, he was one of those Bizzare Anthros people who didn't make it into my post. For obvious reasons.
I feel his ideas could work if they looked better. He seems to have skills with animation.
But he seems to take his anthropomorphic airplanes supr srsly and that doesn't do anyone any good. Some of them get really weird too.

Anyway, some better work from the "Forever Remember Us" dude:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 54 – Shift

quote:


I stood on the back balcony overlooking the woods. The moon hung high in the sky casting a luminescent glow among the trees. Nearly everyone had settled down for the night except for us rides. Merrylegs paced the halls in front of the sleeping humans while Static stared blankly at a late night show.


Why does Miranda Leek bear a grudge against Static?


quote:


Thunderbark suddenly appeared next to me. He looked up at the moon, his icy eyes sparkling. He then turned to look at me with a grin on his face.

“Nice night, don’t you think?” he asked.

“It is.” I replied.

“Do you think we can trust Buddy?” he said, his tone changing.

“I read him for the truth, looks like he did give up police work.”


Even if he did “give up police work”, I question the value of “friends” who would so willingly and rapidly throw in their lots with creatures known to be brutal, sadistic mass murderers.


quote:


“Good, it would really be horrible if the authorities got a hold of the information we just revealed.”

I nodded in reply. My stomach suddenly growled loudly, it just now dawned on me that I’d had not eaten in almost two days. I clutched my stomach and sighed aloud, I then realized Thunderbark had heard me.


86th sigh of the book.


quote:


“Hungry?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You can hunt, I’ll watch the fort. Ironwheel should not be in the real world yet. You’ll need your strength for the future anyway. You might want to consume as much as you can without overdoing it.” He said.

“Thanks Thunderbark, I owe you one.” I said leaping off the balcony onto the soft patch of leaves below.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Railrunner!” he called down to me.

“I won’t!” I said as he went back indoors. I watched the door for a few seconds, and then I bounded off into the lush forest.

The wilderness was the same as always with the scurrying of small creatures among the leaf covered ground and the continuous chirping of crickets.


How lush can the forest be if there’s a road through it wide enough to drive a Humvee and sufficient room between the trees and vegetation for a seventeen-foot tall, twenty-thousand pound roller coaster to “bound”?


quote:


I knew this woods well, Sly and I once hunted here together using some guns he had recently acquired from a friend. Tonight was much different than that night from many years ago. This time I was hunting as a beast, machine to be more exact. There were no guns, just me, myself, and I.


It’s always “me, myself, and I” in Railrunner’s world.


quote:


I stopped in the middle of a clearing that housed a small pond. I knew this was a popular hotspot for animals such as deer, which sounded really good right now. I sniffed the air, there was [sic] hundreds of smells to distinguish from the others. Some were stale, some were fresh, but most of them were long expired. Could I have had an effect on them, too?

I went over my plan; maybe I should go on further and hope for better luck. Then there was the fact that I couldn’t go to [sic] far from the cabin. I sniffed again; my nose caught the sent of an approaching deer. My mind was made up, I was to stay here. I hid in secrecy up in the trees.


Those must be some truly gigantic trees, to conceal a seventeen-foot tall, twenty-thousand pound roller coaster.


quote:


Minutes later, a doe walked out of the brambles and towards the pond. A buck would have been more ideal to kill, does were responsible for making more deer. Sadly, I couldn’t stand my empty belly any longer.


This is really telling of Railrunner's world-view – the only purpose of women is making babies.


quote:



The deer positioned itself at the lake’s edge, it looked around for predators.


A few paragraphs up, it states that “I stopped in the middle of a clearing that housed a small pond. I knew this was a popular hotspot for animals such as deer, which sounded really good right now”.

Now the “small pond” has transformed into a “lake”. This never happened in Amusement Park Between - perhaps it is the “real world” that is the more “imaginative” place after all?


quote:


Then she slowly lowered her head into the water and began to drink. I cautiously started to decline, and then one of my seats caught a branch, snapping it. I held my breath as the deer looked up in alarm. Then after a minute or so she returned to drink. I felt saliva form in my mouth as my stomach complained again. I could not stand the urge any longer.

I leaped from my perch and on top of the deer. My teeth clamped down onto her neck, snapping it and killing her instantly. I licked my lips in satisfaction and began to feast. I peeled flesh from bone at a fast rate.

Animals in the real world did not taste as good as the ones in Amusement Park Between, still they were eatable.

I swallowed the last strip of meat, and then I walked to the pond to wash it all down with a drink. The cool water soothed my throat, plus it washed off any unwanted remains of deer. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark shape looming among the trees. I sniffed; to my surprise it was the foul odor of a Fallen. My mind went into a haze, how could they be here already! My legs tensed up, a growl escaped my throat. The thing stopped and stared for a split second, then ran. I bolted after it, why now! My mind screamed, I was ready to get on with my killing spree with the vermin. The thing slowed and finally stopped on a cluster of large boulders.

I paused jut [sic] a few feet from it. The object was a black carousel horse with a skeleton painted along his body, and I had recognized him before. He was the carousel horse that hung around with Freakshow, Bones.

“You decide to show up?” I growled.

“I didn’t want to miss anything.” He spoke, his vampire fangs flashing me a smile.

“Do you mean Ironwheel’s funeral?” I mocked.

“No! Your death!”

I don’t put up with assholes. Who is all here?”


Infinite :ironicat:


quote:


“Thanks to you, it is just me, Freakshow, and Ironwheel. We are the last of the Fallens!”

“What a big honor, now where are they!” I said standing up and extracting my claws. Bones then grew nervous, he turned and tried to run again, but I grabbed his pole and held him to my face. “Do you want to talk now?” I said pressing my claws to his neck. He looked at me fearful, then he started whimpering.

“They are simply roaming around for a place to settle! We just arrived and they sent me to find a resting area! It is the truth I swear!” he finished. I read him, surprisingly he looked like he actually was telling the truth.

“Thanks for telling me Bones.” I said sticking my claw into his chest.


“Wait a minute!” Sly interrupted. “Are you saying that the red roller coaster is a good guy!”

“Trust me, I know.” I said smiling, before killing a helpless prisoner who gave me the information I had requested in exchange for an implicit promise of safe passage.


quote:


He looked at me in shock, then his eyes rolled back into his head as he died in my arms. I dropped him back onto the rock and set his body ablaze, ridding any evidence. When his body was burned to a crisp, I seized my flame and ran back to the cabin, straight to Thunderbark.

I made it back in less than two minutes running at full speed. I feared the worst, what if they had already arrived? What if they were all- no do not go there. I scaled the back balcony up to the first floor. To my relief they were safe, everyone sat up watching the television except for the humans. I hammered on the sliding glass doors. Thunderbark looked up and quickly ran over to let me in.

“What the heck are you doing?” He demanded in an aggravated whisper.

“You are never going to believe this Thunderbark, but they are here!” I said shutting the door behind me. I pulled the drapes over them; I turned back to Thunderbark who stared at me with a fearful expression on his face.

“What do you mean they are here! That is impossible!”

“Guess they ran as quick as they could to the portal.”

“Who all are THEY!”

“Ironwheel, Freakshow, and I killed Bones while I was hunting.”

“You saw Bones? Did he tell you this?”

“Yeah! I forced him to before I butchered him!” I said to the white coaster, then realizing we both had woken everyone up due to our yelling.


Railrunner is self-aware enough to recognize that what he did was “butchery”, but lacks the morality to realize that it was “wrong”.


quote:


I felt Clare’s eyes burning into me with horror. Thunderbark hung his great head low. He did not speak a word for several seconds. He was tiring [sic] to come up with some sort of plan or explanation, I thought.

“Time to leave everyone.” He said turning and gathering a few things.


They know that the opposing force is down to Ironwheel and Freakshow, which means they have a numerical advantage. They know that Railrunner is a match for Ironwheel and Freakshow, which means they have at least qualitative parity. They know that the opposing force is already here, so the opposing force will not have the advantage of surprise.

So why are they still so terrified?


quote:


“Get any item that is dear to you but is light.” He said to my human friends.

“Here is what we do, Clare you drive the Hummer carrying Merrylegs and Static. Sly you drive your truck and have Buddy as your passenger. You carry the belongings, except ours along. Railrunner and I will follow till morning. As we turn human when the sun rises, we’ll play it by ear.”

Thunderbark finished as he headed out the door. I caught up to him as everyone loaded the vehicles.

“So after this, we go on from there?”

“Railrunner, I say that because I don’t know what will happen.” He sighed with worry in his voice.


87th sigh of the book.


quote:


I watched as he exited. “I thought roller coasters could see the future?”

“They can, but that’s only certain things.” He said turning away. “This is not one of them.”

I could only imagine what those things may be.

+ + +


And of course Thunderbark Miranda Leek doesn’t bother to explain has not thought about “what those things may be”.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Jun 21, 2013

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

"What do you mean you don't know what's happening next? I thought roller coasters could see the future."

"Well, yes, but only when it's convenient. By the way, how come you're asking me? You're a roller coaster, too!"

"...I don't understand."

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 55 – Demands

quote:


It was sunrise and Snooks had just opened. It had been in repair for weeks, but now it was reopening its doors. Mr. Calloway stood behind the bar wiping the counter. He had spent all morning getting the place into tip top shape. He did have an odd feeling, however, that something was imminent. His nerves were on edge ever since the night that Railrunner had bashed the local bar. All because he stared death in the face.

Suddenly two strange people walked through the double doors. It was a man and a woman, and they did not look the least bit ordinary. The woman had short black hair that went into a Mohawk that was died [sic] purple at the tip. She was tall and skinny, but the most striking thing about her was the woman’s skin. It looked like it was from many different people all stitched together. Even her body parts were not identical, her hands did not match nor did her eyes. The man was wrapped up in a cloak that only reveled [sic] from his nose to his chin. He too was tall, but extremely muscular looking. Both of them were very suspicious.


Ironwheel and Freakshow. :allears: I hope we’ll get the rest of the story from their POV. Can’t be any worse than getting it from Railrunner’s.


quote:


The characters took a seat next to each other at the bar. Mr. Calloway watched them smirk at each other as he walked up to them.

“What can I get you?” he asked nervously.

The woman looked up, her smirk getting bigger. She looked at her partner for his answer, but he simply nodded.

“Information.” She said in a voice would make babies cry.

“What kind? Who are you two anyway?” Calloway spoke shocked.

“My name is Fern.” She said with the smirk still on her face.

“I am Iro.” The man said in a voice that sent shivers down a spine.

“Anyway, we are - investigators, on the case of the red roller coaster, named Railrunner.” She said almost hissing at the end.

The bar owner stood silent, those words struck fear into him. The image of the night he was attacked came into his head again.

“I know some things.” He said finally.

“Like what?” Iro demanded.

“Well, I know that he has the same markings on his arms as one of my past customers.”

“Really! What is the man’s name?” Fern said with her smirk growing into a wicked smile.

“Rodney Philips. Come to think of it he has the same eye piercing as well.”

The girl said nothing else, she just turned to her counterpart again, and he nodded for a second time.

“There anyone he hangs around with?”

“Yes, his friends Buddy and Sly. There is also his girlfriend Clare.”

“Good. Do you know where they live?” Iro spoke quietly.

The bar owner gave them the location of their residence. Both of them smiled evilly, suddenly Mr. Calloway wondered if he should have told them this or not.


Note that up to this point, Ironwheel and Freakshow have treated Mr Callahan with much more civility than Railrunner gave to the bartender in Zegria:

“Trust me; I’ll be worth your time.” I said sliding up my sleeve slightly to show my red metal. He glared in shock at me.

“You’re a –.”

“Shhh - you say –it, and I’ll cut your restraints off.” I said with an earnest tone…

“Thanks.” I said as I was exiting. I took the last gulp of the Red C and then threw the glass to the ground.



quote:


“Do you want to sire, or can I?” Fern said to Iro. Calloway stared at her strangely, why did she call him sire? What was she even talking about?

“I will - I would love to, I like it fresh.” he hissed. Suddenly his mouth opened wide and his teeth became fangs. He then lunged for the bar owner, sinking his teeth into his neck. With a jerk, the man’s throat was ripped out instantly. Iro stood and licked his lips, wiping every inch of blood off his face.


I’m going to ignore this part because this is just Miranda Leek making the designated villain gratuitously kick a puppy for the sake of kicking puppies. Even if we don’t ignore it, Railrunner’s body-count is still far, far higher.


quote:


“Freakshow, do you know how good that felt?”

“Very good, sire?”

“Hell yeah. Now as we now realize Bones went to search for Railrunner late last night. He hasn’t returned, I think our target murdered another one of us.”

“I believe so, he would have to be back by now. He was in the forest on the west side of town when he disappeared. Railrunner and his allies must be in that region.” Freakshow said.

Ironwheel growled. “The bastard must be! I will make him pay! I’ll strike his heart, and I will taste his blood! Make him dead!”

+ + +


This mirrors the scene at the end of Chapter 22 where Railrunner swears vengeance on Ironwheel:

“All right. I have one final question, what is Ironwheel’s motive?” I asked, my question only making Thunderbark swallow apprehensively.

“Ironwheel has the deepest hatred for humans, even more than Freakshow’s. He wants to gather his armies and get his revenge on the humans. He wants to rule Amusement Park Between and make every ride and man his slaves!”

I nodded and stood up, Thunderbark watching me eagerly.

“I want revenge and justice. I want to kill Freakshow, because she murdered my mother and probably countless others. Most of all, I want Ironwheel dead! I want to burry [sic] him in his grave! I want to make him pay!”


The difference is, we only heard Thunderbark’s account of Ironwheel killing Angeltrack, and never “saw” it with our own eyes. We’d also never seen or heard any other accounts of any atrocities or brutality by Ironwheel or his regime.

On the contrary, in the last chapter, we’d just seen Railrunner brutally execute Bones, a helpless captive, and previously we’d seen many, many examples of Railrunner indiscriminate slaughter of many other people and amusement park rides. Without any intention to do so, Miranda Leek has made the designated villan Ironwheel a much, much more sympathetic character than the designated hero Railrunner. That takes talent.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

For those who were wondering how the Fallen were really enforcing their rule, please notice what Bones said:

quote:

“Thanks to you, it is just me, Freakshow, and Ironwheel. We are the last of the Fallens!”

Which means that all the fallen but one and one squad were in that Fallen-taken town where Railrunner first met Freakshow, or in the prison, or in the capital city or the castle. The squad was committing piracy on the river. And the last one was a random go-kart car in the first town Railrunner was in. Those are the only Fallens there were, in a land that it takes days to go sailing up some river.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


JosephWongKS posted:

I’m going to ignore this part because this is just Miranda Leek making the designated villain gratuitously kick a puppy for the sake of kicking puppies. Even if we don’t ignore it, Railrunner’s body-count is still far, far higher.

Untrue. The bartender could feasibly have warned Rodney or Clare about the people asking questions - he obviously knows where they live, and likely also has their phone numbers. Ironwheel isn't being brutal for the sake of being brutal, he's just committing the evil but necessary act of covering his bases. He is accompanied by Freakshow, a social outcast, and her presence (since she looks like Frankenstein's monster) is notable in itself such that there wouldn't be any ambiguity as to Ironwheel's presence if the bartender were to issue a warning.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009

quote:

The woman had short black hair that went into a Mohawk that was died [sic] purple at the tip. She was tall and skinny, but the most striking thing about her was the woman’s skin. It looked like it was from many different people all stitched together. Even her body parts were not identical, her hands did not match nor did her eyes.
Freakshow has a cool human design.

quote:

He too was tall, but extremely muscular looking.
Which was odd because those two things are basically incompatible and hardly ever occur in one person.

quote:

“I will - I would love to, I like it fresh.” he hissed. Suddenly his mouth opened wide and his teeth became fangs. He then lunged for the bar owner, sinking his teeth into his neck. With a jerk, the man’s throat was ripped out instantly. Iro stood and licked his lips, wiping every inch of blood off his face.

Frankly, I don't believe Leek's history is accurate. Her sympathies towards Railrunner are clear and she's obviously taken the propaganda of his early rule as simple fact. The story that Freakshow and Ironwheel arrived in the human world and immediately began to slaughter indiscriminately is unsubstatiated by police records and entirely at odds with the caution he displayed at other times during his reign. Ironwheel doesn't even support the death penalty, as shown by him keeping all the rebels in prison so they can be rehabilitated into productive members of society. The idea that Ironwheel would refrain from executing rebels who threatened the stability of his government and Amusement Park Beyond, yet pointlessly tear out the throat of a harmless barkeeper who had been nothing but helpful to him, is ridiculous.

(Speaking seriously, it's interesting that when Miranda realised Ironwheel had barely done anything evil and needed to be evilled up in a hurry, she picked 'coldbloodedly slaughtering someone who posed no threat and gave him useful information'. She's got no self-awareness whatsoever.

attackbunny fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Jun 21, 2013

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


And unlike Railrunner, Ironwheel has tact about killing the man. Sure he ripped out and swallowed the man's throat, but he didn't go into some crazy bloodlust frenzy like Railrunner does.

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Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Detective Black woke up and found a covered plate on a tray by his bed. Inside was a pair of Belgian waffles with strawberries and syrup, sausages links, and three eggs cooked sunny side up. While not quite what he'd call a perfect breakfast, Black was still impressed by the meal and ate heartily. After he finished, he walked downstairs and followed the sound of conversation into the back room where Thunderbolt and Terry the Teacup were cleaning up after bowls of plain cereal. "So did neither of you get breakfast in bed?" Black asked.

"No. This world may be a paradise, but it's not that nice. There's fixings in the kitchen for better than cereal, but Terry and I don't know how to cook. I've heard there are luxury hotels you can find where meals appear overnight and in rooms that unlock on their own at lunch and dinnertime, but nobody's been in one of those aside from Iron Raptor and his lieutenants since he took over. Why, were you expecting better? We don't exactly have General Mills here, but--"

"No thanks, I'm good," Black assured them. Terry and Thunderbolt gave each other concerned looks, but decided not to comment.

"Well, if you're ready to go, we should leave right away. I understand the local Raptor agent is getting suspicious of us, so we should get to my cell's meeting place. Hopefully you'll find something to prove your worth when we get there."

"I hear you're the reason we won't have to stick around for the coin distribution!" Terry added cheerily.

"True enough. Come on." As Thunderbolt walked to the front door, he stripped off his clothing and folded it over his arm. Black averted his eyes as the old man pulled off his pants, but Terry came up and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"You'll get used to it. Everyone has to be naked to shift. Even most automatons don't use real fabric," the teacup explained. The detective still decided to wait inside until the transformation was complete and only emerged once the creaking and stretching noises ceased.

Thunderbolt's bulky white frame was hard to see in the early morning fog, and the sun was a faded white disc just visible past the thick tree canopy along (what Black hoped was) the east end of town. The roller coaster train was stuffing his human clothes just underneath the row of seats behind his head when Terry and Rick approached him. "Hop aboard, boys," he offered.

Trying not to think about how the creature he was climbing onto was technically both alive and naked, Black selected a seat a few rows back from Thunderbolt's head and locked the lap restraint against his thighs. The detective noted that the foam cushion on the restraint was sloppily painted white over the original black, and the paint still felt a bit sticky when he pulled his hand away. Terry picked a spot more towards the middle of the train, and then Thunderbolt turned his head to face his passengers. "Watch this," he said with a wink.

Thunderbolt took a deep breath and blew. As he blew, the morning mist cleared in a corridor in front of them, parting to either side like the Red Sea. As Thunderbolt rolled forward, the fog continued to clear in front and drew back together as they left it behind.

"I love fog," the roller coaster remarked as they plunged into the woods. "Ice and snow, too. A shame we don't see much around these parts."

"So where are we heading?" Black asked.

"There's a settlement along a river nearby. We can buy passage on a ship that'll take us right where we need to go."

"Looks like we're going pretty fast as it is," the detective commented as he watched trees fly by in a blur. "Can't you take us there yourself?"

Thunderbolt laughed. "Through a swamp? Come on, do I look like I could float in water and mud? Besides, wooden coasters are built for traction, not comfort. Even if we were in Plains Land, your rear would still be sore in under four minutes. Trust me, you'll be glad we're taking a boat by the time we hit Voodoo Town."

Detective Black had to admit the train was right as the group came to a halt in a tree stand outside Voodoo Town. Still beyond the town limits, Thunderbolt transformed back and put on his clothes, explaining, "I'm a bit of a notorious member of the Resistance these days. Lucky for me they don't know my human form yet, but Thunderbolt the Roller Coaster can be identified just about anywhere he goes."

"So what do I call you while we're there?" Rick asked.

"Allen. You remember the director, right?" Thunderbolt gave the detective another wink.

The roller coaster led the way into Voodoo Town. The village was built on a series of uneven wooden planks and walkways that crossed between posts driven deep into a marshy outflow of the nearby Cedar River. Mismatched wooden shacks rose up at random intervals along the walkways, with workshops, stores, and residences sharing space without any apparent regard to order or urban planning. There was also another concrete structure in a small clearing on nearby solid ground, but Detective Black chose not to draw attention to it this time.

Thunderbolt took the lead in finding passage, so Terry and Rick passed the time by sticking gummi worms on toy fishing poles to try and catch Swedish fish off the side of a dock. "You shouldn't let on you're a human while you're here," Terry advised the detective as he threw back a bright goldfish which had bitten on the hook by mistake. "I don't think most folks would mind, but Raptor's thrill rides would see you as a big, soft target that can't fight back. They'll be all over you."

"We'll see about that," Black muttered. He reeled in his fishing line and pried another wriggling red fish off his hook and dropped it into a steel bucket where it began swimming around with the others they had caught. "I thought you said these things came in more than one color."

"Must be a school of the red ones down there right now. They are more common," Terry admitted with a shrug. "Anyway, since your necklace was meant for a roller coaster train, it should be pretty easy to make people think you are one just by leaving it out. I'd use a different last name, though. Nobody really likes black these days." Terry shivered.

"Richard, Terry." The pair turned to see Thunderbolt smiling behind them. "I found us a ship that leaves today. It was supposed to leave tomorrow, but I was able to...fund its early departure. Eat the fish you want and throw the rest back. We're boarding right now."

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