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Radio!
Mar 15, 2008

Look at that post.



When I saw the warning I thought "yeah right how much worse can it get".

I was so wrong.

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Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying

I get the impression Clare's consent is assumed because she's basically Miranda's self insert and of course she wants her badass coaster boyfriend to arrive someday and give her her true coaster otherkin form.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Link to Part One on the previous page.


Chapter 58 - No Trespassing
Part Two of Two


quote:


“Looks like we have a visitor.” He said with a grim expression on his face.

“It’s Freakshow.” I said storming out of the office. Thunderbark followed close behind me. We entered the factory floor and everyone turned their attention to us. They stood there assuming something was wrong, and indeed there was.

“How do you know it is her?” Thunderbark questioned.

“Let’s just say I have a good memory.” I replied looking up at the tin ceiling.


Does anyone outside the great state of Tennessee still use tin for industrial roofing? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


“What is going on, Railrunner?” Clare said running to me frightened.

“Clare you need to find somewhere safe to hide. Just do it and don’t ask why!” I said as the footsteps stopped.

Clare nodded and ran for safety along with Buddy and Sly. I sniffed; I could now smell her awful scent.


Clare may have an awful scent, but only because she’s been spending time around you grotesque abominations. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


I prepared for a sudden attack; just in case Ironwheel was with her.


Railrunner just saw Clare a moment ago. Why does he think Ironwheel might be with Clare? Is he a moron (the answer is yes), or does Ironwheel have magic teleportation powers (the answer is hopefully yes)? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


It became silent and eerie, nothing moved a muscle, and all I could hear was my shallow breathing and the rapid pounding of my heart.

Without warning, the tin roof caved in and Freakshow landed on top of the oven laughing maniacally.

“Only a roller coaster can kill a roller coaster,” she mocked.

“I’m sorry, but I am allergic to your bullshit,” I said through clenched teeth. “Where is Ironwheel!”

“Awww, the great red is a bit eager, but anything for my fans. Ironwheel is not hunting you down, he knows your rage will draw you to him.” She said as she made her voice elusive.

I quickly read Freakshow’s mind, she was actually telling the truth. Her ignorant words made me angrier by the second.


How is she “telling the truth” and “ignorant” at the same time? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


“I’m surprised you lived freak, but are you ready for round two?” I snickered.

“More than ready!” Freakshow hissed.

I shot forward like a jet and hit her full force. The collision made both of us fly back into a pile of unused boxes. I quickly stood up and moved the boxes out of my way and prepared to face her again. She staggered to her feet, slightly woozy from the heavy blow. She turned to me with a smirk wiped across her face.

“You are quite the heavyweighter,” she laughed.

“Glad you think so. I’m good at wrestling.” I replied. “Now let me show you how good I am at fencing!” I shouted as I extracted my long claws. Freakshow quickly exposed her jagged steel claws. We swung at each other at the same time, but our claws interlocked within themselves.


en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fencing‎: Fencing is the sport of fighting with swords.

“Claws” =/= “Swords”.

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


I yanked them free and cut a set of Freakshow’s off in the process. She stared at the damage that was done for a split second; then she shrieked like a banshee.

“You will pay dearly for that!” Freakshow roared. Then she unexpectedly grinned. To my surprise out of the other wheel sets of her second car grew more claws. Freakshow laughed deep in her throat as she pointed them to me. I found myself staring at Freakshow in disbelief. I had never seen THAT before, perhaps it was her special talent.


Railrunner has fire-bending and lightning-bending and metal-bending and blood-bending and “concussion beams” and “disintegration rays” and the ability to “descend upwards”, and the power to “grow more claws” is nevertheless astonishing to his feeble, feeble mind. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


“What’s the matter, Railrunner? Scared of your demise?”

“You are really starting to piss me off.”

Freakshow didn’t reply, she swung her claws at me, but at the last second I shifted out of the way. Her middle claw went into a big red button on a control panel, making the factory roar to life.

I realized that I could use this to my advantage. I knew what made these machines tick!

“Good thing I’m an engineer!” I said charging back to the factory floor. I jumped on a conveyor belt. Freakshow soon joined me on the assembly line. She snarled menacingly, her restraints vibrating in anger.


“Restraints vibrating in anger”. :lol:

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


I quickly pulled a wire that hung above me, flour rained down onto Freakshow, making her unable to see.


“Sight like a dragon” can, it seems, be disrupted by flour. Even if that were the case, why can’t Freakshow use her roller coaster power to “hear anything and everything”? Shouldn’t the roller coaster ability to “Predict when things will happen, except death” and “Sense trouble” enable her to dodge Railrunner’s attacks? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


I quickly moved again, suddenly instinct took over as I heard Freakshow follow me. I weaved between giant five ton gas tanks that sat in rows towards the back of the factory. Freakshow slowed her pace and stood in the middle of the walkway.


Why are there “giant five ton gas tanks” in a “cake factory”? Does “cake manufacturing” require such massive amounts of power in addition to the regular energy grid? Why haven’t those gas tanks been removed or emptied after the factory closed down? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


“Where are you red!” she said as she shook the flour off of her.

I smiled to myself. It was predator against prey again. Dueling the enemy once more. A pure bred against a mixed breed. A classic case of good verses [sic] evil.


I want to emphasize that Miranda Leek equates “pure bred” to “good” and “mixed breed” to evil. :stare:

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


“Over here mutt.” I said darting just before Freakshow moved to my previous hiding place. I was positioned behind her now in back of one of the large tanks. It seemed as if I was reliving the whole incident of the ordeal I had with Captain Vick in the garage. This time however, I wasn’t playing with matches; I was fooling with a gun.

I watched Freakshow for several seconds; she looked frantically around for me. She snarled in frustration. Suddenly Merrylegs stood in the middle of the aisle. Why was she being so silly! Merrylegs stood up to roller coasters as if they were statues, more or less me when I was in a foul mood.

To Freakshow, in her view, she was nothing but a toy. Merrylegs looked over to where I was occult


“Occult” =/= “Hidden” in this context. You can’t just take a thesaurus and grab the first synonym at random! :argh:

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


, and then she reared back and neighed loudly. Freakshow then spun around to face her, and I realized Merrylegs was setting her up. I placed my wheels under the tanker before me; gathering strength, I shoved it toward the mismatched coaster. The gas tank slid across the floor like a freight train, then it caught her by surprise and pinned her to the wall.

Before she could free herself, I ran out of hiding and grasped her shoulders. I flung Freakshow into the main room again. She sat up quickly and prepared to strike, but Thunderbark suddenly appeared behind her. He grabbed an iron chain and wrapped it around her neck, and then Thunderbark pulled out one of the rifles he purchased at the pawn shop earlier, except that it had been modified.


Why would a roller coaster bother with guns when they have claws and teeth and X-bending? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


Thunderbark fired the repurposed weapon into her arm. I watched in awe as her blood leaked out all over the floor, how come it wasn’t healing? Then I remembered that Thunderbark spoke of a way to kill a coaster with a gun, could this have been it?

Thunderbark held Freakshow firmly, she trashed wildly trying to free herself, but she was only making it worse. I walked casually up to Freakshow and stood towering above her. She stopped struggling and looked at me with her strange eyes. I raised my claws and aimed them toward her heart. She watched my every move, and this time she was actually afraid.

“Do you really have the courage to kill me, Railrunner?” she questioned with a bizarre expression on her face. I did not reply; I only raised my claws higher.

“Do you really want to stab me in the heart like I did your mother?”


Freakshow is apparently trying to provoke Railrunner into sparing her life. Her mistake lies in thinking that Railrunner is a “heroic” character. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.


quote:


The comment made revenge flow though my veins, but still I did not reply.

“To bad about her, she was a thrill to kill.” Freakshow laughed quietly. I roared loudly in pure rage and brought my claws down. They penetrated through her metal hide and into her cold heart. She let out no
cries of agony or despair. Freakshow simply fell backward into a puddle of her own blood.

“It was a thrill to kill you.” I finally answered.


To conclude, I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jun 25, 2013

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008


"Her" in that sentence was Freakshow. Also, I concur.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


alcharagia posted:

"Her" in that sentence was Freakshow.

I know it was meant to refer to Freakshow - I was playing on Miranda Leek's confusing word placement.

quote:


Clare nodded and ran for safety along with Buddy and Sly. I sniffed; I could now smell her awful scent. I prepared for a sudden attack; just in case Ironwheel was with her.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 07:29 on Jun 24, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



quote:

The comment made revenge flow though my veins, but still I did not reply.

This slayed me. But not as much as JWKS's new avatar and avatar text.

quote:

I quickly read Freakshow’s mind, she was actually telling the truth. Her ignorant words made me angrier by the second.

I can't believe I missed that, but Railrunner now has the power to read minds.

Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 08:55 on Jun 24, 2013

VivaLa Eeveelution
Apr 3, 2011



I think I have no opinions on this story. It's like it forms a precision clot to that area of my brain. I know it exists and that it induces pain, but these are facts.

Is fear an opinion? Because I'm scared for the arse end of my generation if this is what a 17 year old girl wrote and the same woman five years later thinks, "Just needs a bit of tidying. No major problems with the plot or social implications." The crap I wrote five years ago is sealed in a concrete vault for the sake of new, better ideas. Ones that don't hurt humanity.

Iced Cocoa posted:

This slayed me. But not as much as JWKS's new avatar and avatar text.

Lllllllllllllllllladycoasters.

...son of a bitch, why didn't I think of that half an hour ago?

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


The Deviations posted:

I think I have no opinions on this story. It's like it forms a precision clot to that area of my brain. I know it exists and that it induces pain, but these are facts.

Is fear an opinion? Because I'm scared for the arse end of my generation if this is what a 17 year old girl wrote and the same woman five years later thinks, "Just needs a bit of tidying. No major problems with the plot or social implications." The crap I wrote five years ago is sealed in a concrete vault for the sake of new, better ideas. Ones that don't hurt humanity.
I think that's what makes Miranda Leek a terrible author, really. More than the awful hateful characters, the nonsensical plot and the Sueishness. That's all bad, but it all stems from the same issue; she's complacent. She thinks her writing is good enough already. I mean, this is clearly the first draft, unedited for typoes or blatant contradictions in the space of the same paragraph. She banged it out from beginning to end and then stopped and said 'Yup, that'll do.'

Being a good writer requires a sense of crushing insecurity major enough to make you you obsessively pick over your work to make it perfect but not major enough that you give up and jump off the top of a multistorey carpark. It's a difficult balancing act.

ETA: Of course, another problem is that she's demented and wants to be an anthro roller coaster.

attackbunny fucked around with this message at 09:36 on Jun 24, 2013

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




Meh. I read smut fanfic today, I can handle Clare being ShadowtraaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk:



Bleh. I hope the benevolent dictator survives in some way. Let's just pretend Ironwheel is Detective Black and therefore immune to death. Or they're brothers, or something. But still immune to death. That's totally a rollercoaster power.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




You know how the chaos space marines yell "I can feel the Warp overtaking me! It is a good pain!" and all that? I now know how that feels thanks to this book.

Here we go everybody! Strap yourselves in because we're gonna :sigh: our way to wanton slaughter and co-dependent domestic abuse!

Really though, they're not even going to ask Clare if she wants to become a roller coaster?
And OF COURSE Railrunner gets to choose what she wears what colour she will be. This is going to be a thing.

Dreggon posted:

ShadowtraaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk::gonk:

JWKS please refer to Shadowtrack as such when she makes her appearance. Maybe a few less gonks though.

Rahonavis
Jan 11, 2012

"Clevuh gurrrl..."


You know that flour had to be just full of insects.

Miranda Leeks posted:

Merrylegs looked over to where I was occult...

:stare:

I mean, we've seen miracles happen through Miranda not understanding how Thesauruses are supposed to work but daaaaaaamn.

JosephWongKS posted:

“Restraints vibrating in anger”. :lol:

I hope we never lose sight of one thing: that as excremental as this book gets, it will never not be amazing when things that would be rote and boring in a supernatural romance/guy learns he's the savior of a magical land/guy learns he's not a human but a magical being with awesome powers/werewolf/dragonkin story are applied to friggin' rollercoasters.

Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Jun 25, 2013

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


:stare:

my dad posted:

Speculation related to the spoilered stuff: I have this horrible feeling that Clare is the, er, fuckdoll.

JosephWongKS posted:

2. Solid confirmation that Clare turns into Shadowtrack at the end of the book

I hate being right. :(

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



Very well, with that spoiler out of the way, I can get this out of the way.



Vertigo, the sequel of Twisted! Since it's not going to be published anytime soon, I decided to find all the little snippets and references to it and see if I can figure out the whole plot in it. I think I came pretty close as there was much information to be had. Unfortunately most of the deviations that had that information have been put in storage, so that I can't link to any sources on DA. But I did manage to save the images and text before that since I knew the purge was coming. The text will be linked at a pastebin space in the end of the post.

Vertigo will not really spoil the rest of Twisted! with exception of one thing which you can probably predict anyway. This is not fanfiction, it's estimated guess at what Vertigo will be about. Some scenes may be out of order, there will be some filling in the gaps, but you can check the pastebin for sources.

Vertigo will begin with a ball.



Railrunner is having a ball in the city of Cirwann, and there are several people there. Railrunner will manage to actually get drunk, and decides to ditch everyone so he can have alone time with Shadowtrack, his mate. Commence the whole "makeout and massage" thing!



When Railrunner and Shadowtrack rejoin the party, some moment will pass until there is an assassination attempt on Railrunner. It's an army of Fallen who pledge allegiance to Darkrail, someone Railrunner has no idea who is. Railrunner will go into slaughter mode until the army is forced to retreat, and he goes into the sewers to hunt them down.



When Railrunner has dealt with the stragglers, he'll ask Thunderbark just who this Darkrail is. Thunderbark will say that he's an evil undead roller coaster who will appear every blood moon, and he'll apologize for not keeping track of time and not warn Railrunner of the impending danger. Darkrail will have to do a lethal crash during a blood moon in the real world so he can manifest in the Amusement Park Between. He'll carry a deadly disease called Vertigo, and he'll spread it around to kill everyone in Amusement Park Between. It has 100% fatality rate.

So Railrunner figures out quickly where Darkrail will be in the human world to do that crash or whatever he needs to do to get to Amusement Park Between. He'll only allow Thunderbark to join him, but he'll have a head start using his red-only portal power to get to Coaster Island. Too bad he's a bit early.



So Railrunner waits in a roller coaster storage building, waiting for the blood moon to rise and for Darkrail to come. In the nighttime, Railrunner goes on a prowl, and encounters police.



I don't think I need to speculate what happens to it even though it is never said.

Thunderbark arrives just in time, and Railrunner and Thunderbark await Darkrail's arrival.



But Darkrail will prove too much and bite Railrunner, infecting him with Vertigo.

You know what, there are too many pictures alone in this post, and this is Part 1 (of four) of Vertigo. I'll stop now and type the rest later. Which means no pastebin link right now, but when I actually finish this, or when JWKS finishes reviewing the book before I get the chance to finish. It's also dinnertime.

And does anyone actually want the rest? It has annoying ferris wheel giving Railrunner riddles, a cat roller coaster, anger management issues that is actually a very important plot point and maybe Angeltrack

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


According to Wikipedia, the blood moon is the full moon following the harvest moon. So shouldn't there be one every September or October? I can only assume that Ironwheel, as a wise and benevolent leader, was taking steps to keep Darkrail away.

Iced Cocoa posted:

anger management issues that is actually a very important plot point
Anger management issues that don't exist just because Miranda thinks psychopathic rages are badass? I don't believe you. Prove it.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



attackbunny posted:

According to Wikipedia, the blood moon is the full moon following the harvest moon. So shouldn't there be one every September or October? I can only assume that Ironwheel, as a wise and benevolent leader, was taking steps to keep Darkrail away.

I took it that it was a lunar eclipse, which makes the moon red.

attackbunny posted:

Anger management issues that don't exist just because Miranda thinks psychopathic rages are badass? I don't believe you. Prove it.



Miranda Leek posted:

Railrunner and Shadowtrack have been in love even before they were both transformed into twisted roller coasters (living roller coasters that reside in Amusement Park Between and you will find out how they changed in my book Twisted) In the sequel Vertigo, Railrunner begins to have...problems, horrendous displays through his unpredictable temper. Railrunner's temper is not ordinary like any other coasters. No, it is some sort of powerful force linked to him being a red. (you will find out what this is called once vertigo is released) His "power" is so severe that if angered to the breaking point, he could destroy both himself and Amusement Park Between. This has made Shadowtrack even more close to him despite the danger that she could endure. Her love seems to be the only thing that soothes him after any episode.

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



I think if you're afraid for your life and trying to beg your opponent to spare you, sneering about how much fun you had murdering their mothers is probably counter-productive. Self-critiquing, you could say.


Okay, all other problems with Leek's works aside, I loving love that license plate. :bustem:

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012



Did you know that whilst rollercoasters don't have sex they basically still have orgasms?

quote:

Note: Not going to put a mature tag on this since there is no actual er..."intercourse" here. If you know my coasters, they can't reproduce on their own.

Railrunner and his beautiful wife, Shadowtrack are what you can classify as "madly in love". Every night they get, they like to court in the covers for hours. In Between, none of the rides can reproduce on their own. The only time a female coaster could ever become pregnant is if she was chosen to bare the red and is magically impregnated. So Railrunner, Shadowtrack, or any other couple's version of love making is just heavy making out and touching. And like in sex, they do experience "shots of pleasure". Anyways, Railrunner and Shadowtrack are always teasing one another about "having a bit of fun later" - usually in front of the gruff Thunderbark on purpose. But of course, they keep their most explicit puns and invites to themselves. The two have been in love for many years and would die for one another - nothing can become between them.

FairyNuff fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jun 24, 2013

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


Iced Cocoa posted:

I took it that it was a lunar eclipse, which makes the moon red.
That's even worse. Even if it has to be a total lunar eclipse, there were two of those in 2011. There's going to be another two in 2014 and another two after that in 2015.

quote:

Railrunner and Shadowtrack have been in love even before they were both transformed into twisted roller coasters (living roller coasters that reside in Amusement Park Between and you will find out how they changed in my book Twisted) In the sequel Vertigo, Railrunner begins to have...problems, horrendous displays through his unpredictable temper. Railrunner's temper is not ordinary like any other coasters. No, it is some sort of powerful force linked to him being a red. (you will find out what this is called once vertigo is released) His "power" is so severe that if angered to the breaking point, he could destroy both himself and Amusement Park Between. This has made Shadowtrack even more close to him despite the danger that she could endure. Her love seems to be the only thing that soothes him after any episode.
"He doesn't mean to get so angry. He needs me. I can't leave him. I don't even want to think about what he'd do if I left him."

Ugh, it's even worse than I thought. You win, Iced Cocoa.

quote:

Did you know that whilst rollercoasters don't have sex they basically still have orgasms?
Actually, what Leek means there is that they stop mid-nookie to slam tequila shots.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins


Fallen Rib

In all those drawings of RailRunner, I always see his front car seats as just like peering over to check out what he's up to.

Voltin Bolt
Oct 17, 2004

IT DOES NOT FIX

How can she possibly think her art has improved? Compare any of the old images to any of the new ones - there were actual backgrounds, the roller coasters had full bodies, and their teeth could feasibly fit into their mouths. Now they've all been diluted down to abs, giant arms, and insufferably smug wedge-heads that sprout fangs everywhere when they need to get dramatic.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



Voltin Bolt posted:

How can she possibly think her art has improved? Compare any of the old images to any of the new ones - there were actual backgrounds, the roller coasters had full bodies, and their teeth could feasibly fit into their mouths. Now they've all been diluted down to abs, giant arms, and insufferably smug wedge-heads that sprout fangs everywhere when they need to get dramatic.

I totally agree with you.

Rahonavis
Jan 11, 2012

"Clevuh gurrrl..."


Iced Cocoa posted:

Very well, with that spoiler out of the way, I can get this out of the way.



A-hahaha, holy poo poo, that cigar-chomping Ferris wheel! :allears:

Yes, please post more of the sequel because I strongly doubt we'll ever convince anyone to read it once it's published.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


Vonder, alcharagia do you have an email address I can contact you at? It's needed for a... secret project. I might have also already contacted Mercedes about it, and he might have said yes.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


The prospect of Clare turning into Shadowtrack understandably grabs everyone's attention, but I want to highlight the following :stare: remark by Railrunner: "A pure bred against a mixed breed. A classic case of good verses [sic] evil."

Don't you guys have a term for this in America politics? "Dog-whistling", right?

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008


my dad posted:

Vonder, alcharagia do you have an email address I can contact you at? It's needed for a... secret project. I might have also already contacted Mercedes about it, and he might have said yes.

Contact me at u.blocky.u@gmail.com.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.



JosephWongKS posted:

The prospect of Clare turning into Shadowtrack understandably grabs everyone's attention, but I want to highlight the following :stare: remark by Railrunner: "A pure bred against a mixed breed. A classic case of good verses [sic] evil."

Don't you guys have a term for this in America politics? "Dog-whistling", right?

"Dog-whistling" means saying one thing and meaning something else by it. "Urban youth" instead of "black person," for example, or "Upholding the institution of marriage" instead of "Anti-gay rights." You spin the argument to sound more palatable by using code words and phrases to disguise your real intent.

Calling a "mixed breed" "a classic case of [...] evil" is a tad too blatant to be a good example of spin-doctoring.

my dad posted:

Vonder, alcharagia do you have an email address I can contact you at? It's needed for a... secret project. I might have also already contacted Mercedes about it, and he might have said yes.

I wouldn't mind getting in on this if you needed an extra. I won't be contributing to Detective Black's story at all this week since I need to double down on my real novel this week. My usual email is kaligradhalnirai@yahoo.com.

Bobbin Threadbare fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Jun 25, 2013

Madoushi
May 9, 2003

Some days, you just get up on the wrong side of the bed...

JosephWongKS posted:

The prospect of Clare turning into Shadowtrack understandably grabs everyone's attention, but I want to highlight the following :stare: remark by Railrunner: "A pure bred against a mixed breed. A classic case of good verses [sic] evil."

Don't you guys have a term for this in America politics? "Dog-whistling", right?

Dog-whistling is coded language, like when you say "We need to stop welfare queens stealing taxpayer money". It might sound reasonable to someone who doesn't know anything about the issue, but anyone who does will know that you're actually saying "I'll cut benefits for black people" without directly sounding racist.

Miranda isn't actually trying to disguise her racism or anything, she's just straight up saying that Freakshow is inferior/evil because she was created by the roller coaster equivalant of miscegenation. :stare:

Vonder
May 8, 2007

They've got a spider baby!

my dad posted:

Vonder, alcharagia do you have an email address I can contact you at? It's needed for a... secret project. I might have also already contacted Mercedes about it, and he might have said yes.

Sure, you can reach me at eoakley86@gmail.com

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




please stop posting pictures of shadowtrack :negative:

please

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 59 - Risky Business
Part One


quote:


I stood there over Freakshow’s blood soaked body. The last few words she said before her death angered me to no extent.


Freakshow’s last words were:

“Do you really want to stab me in the heart like I did your mother?”



“To [sic] bad about her, she was a thrill to kill.”


These words angered Railrunner “to no extent” i.e. not at all. Railrunner is so sociopathic that he doesn’t care about the murder of his mother.


quote:


My mother’s death now seemed like a constant encumbrance now that I finally learned and understood it completely.


In fact, he treats his mother’s demise as an “encumbrance”, a burden, a chore. And this is supposed to be the “promised king” of Amusement Park Between?


quote:


One by one I had destroyed the Fallen incessantly, and now there was only one left, the dreaded Ironwheel. I wanted the evil ones [sic] blood on my wheels now more than ever.

“Nice work Railrunner.” Thunderbark congratulated me. “Now it seems that there is just one more vermin to exterminate.”

“Ironwheel.” I hissed. Thunderbark looked at me worried.

“What is the -.”

“I’m suffering from a severe case of bipolarness. Revenge is all that is on my mind right now. I’ll get it soon and I will make drat sure I do!”


Railrunner isn’t manic-depressive, he’s just sociopathic.


quote:


“Railrunner, remember your temper and language.”

“I don’t give a rip about my temper.” I growled.

“Railrunner!” Thunderbark replied in one of his disgusted tones.


Indiscriminate murder of innocents is fine. Threatening to kill your friends is a-okay. Uncontrollable outbursts of anger are perfectly acceptable. Robbing women of agency is only to be expected. Antediluvian attitudes towards bi-racial pairings is cool. But swearing? That’s a big no-no.



quote:


I sighed and took a deep breath and let it come out in a long satisfied whoosh.


91st sigh of the book.



quote:


“Sorry, I guess I am a bit upset with what Freakshow said. I have a question for you though, how did you make that gun actually harm her?”

“I didn’t really do anything to the gun; I just did something to the bullets.” He chuckled.

“What? How in the hell did you bypass the principle of what kills a roller coaster?”

“Again Railrunner, I didn’t. I made my own bullets. I took an ordinary knife, not my claws, and cut bits and pieces of my metal off.”


If an “ordinary knife” can cut a roller coaster, couldn’t that same “ordinary knife” cut a roller coaster deeply enough to kill it? Isn’t that in and of itself already bypassing the principle of “a roller coaster can only be harmed by another roller coaster”? I’m starting to think that Miranda Leek may not have given much thought to the rules of her world.


quote:


“That was dumb.”


I hate to agree with Railrunner, but it really is dumb.


quote:


“No it wasn’t, I knew it would grow back in a matter of seconds since I used something other than myself to detach it.


So roller-coasters have earth-worm like regeneration? What happens if you cut them in two with a “ordinary knife” that’s large enough? Do they end up re-growing into two roller coasters? If you cut a red roller coaster that way, do you get two reds at the same time? Do they have to fight to the death after that so that there’s only one left?


quote:


While you were up in your tower, I secretly shaped these so they would fit in the gun barrel.” He said pulling out one of the white bullets. They were very well crafted for a wood coaster who could not bend metal.

“Nifty.” I finally spoke.


Railrunner is an eloquent orator and giver of “witty and smart facts” (Chapter 39), as evinced by his succinct replies to Thunderbark’s revelations.


quote:


“Now, I suggest we all get some rest. I will dispose of Freakshow’s body so no human or machine can find her.” Thunderbark said as he began to pull her body outside.

“Do you need help?” I asked grabbing her tail.

“No, Railrunner, you need your sleep.” Thunderbark sighed.


92nd sigh of the book.


quote:


“Fine then.” I said laying her tail back down. I bid everyone good night and headed up the iron stairs. Clare followed me at my side. She suddenly grasped my wheels like holding hands. She squeezed very tightly as I looked at her astonished.

“Can I stay with you?” she whispered.

“Of course, why?”

“I’m scared.”

An hour later Clare was asleep on my chest, my warm metal comforting her.


Metal is known for being a very comfortable material to sleep on. That’s why beds do not have any mattresses placed on them.


quote:

I however, was awake thinking; pondering up my next idea. My brain filled with many plans, but none of them seemed to be the solution. Clare started to quiver in her sleep. I put my arms around her to serve as blanket and Clare seemed to sigh in relief.


93rd sigh of the book.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 59 - Risky Business
Part Two


quote:


I then returned to my ever flowing thoughts. Suddenly I came up with one that just might work, but it was hazardous.

The following morning I awoke with Clare still on my bare chest. She suddenly began to stir, and then Clare got up and yawned.

“This is awkward,” she said quickly climbing off of me. She flipped her hair as I got up and put on my hoodie. I zipped it up and then ran my fingers through my black hair.


Railrunner has hair again, which implies that he transformed back into human form in the middle of his sleep upon sunrise. Why wasn’t he awoken by the excruciating pain that has accompanied each transformation so far?


quote:


“Did you sleep well at all?” I asked her.

“I actually sleep [sic] good [sic] even though I was on metal that was as hot as an oven.” She smiled.

“Wait a minute - are you calling me hot?”

“Ahem.” Said a voice. Both Clare and I spun around quickly to see Merrylegs standing in the doorway.

“How long were you watching?” I asked.

“A few minutes before you woke up.” She smiled.

“You’re creepy.” I replied.


Unprecedentedly, I am compelled to agree with Railrunner for the second time in a chapter. Railrunner’s cohorts (including Clare) are all disgusting and unpleasant in their own special ways.


quote:


“What I just heard was creepy.” Merrylegs retorted. “Thunderbark and the others are downstairs waiting on you both to join us for breakfast.”

“Thank you Merrylegs, we will be there in a second.” Clare said cheerfully. Merrylegs then nodded and exited the tower. Clare then turned to me slightly giggling. “As we were saying, yes I did.”

“So I am attractive then?”

“I thought we decided that a long time ago.”

“Oh, that’s right we did! I remember me saying that you were beautiful.”

“I remember that.” Clare said with a smile. Then I thought of what Thunderbark told me last night, now would be the time to ask her.

“Hey Clare?”

“Yes, Railrunner?”

“If you were a roller coaster what type and color would you be?”

“Well - I would be a steel coaster and I would be light purple. Why did you ask?”


I wanted to post a picture of Shadowtrack here, but in deference to Dreggon’s request, I won’t.


quote:


“I was just wondering that’s all.”

“Hmmm, do you want to head downstairs now?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m starving.” I replied as I followed her out of the tower. Did Clare want to be a roller coaster? I should have made my bribe more straightforward, yet Clare answered my question. Maybe she was willing to give up being human after all. I should get some more out of her first.


What “bribe”?


quote:


“Clare?” I whispered as we stood right outside the tower door.

“Yes, do you have another question for me?” she grinned.

“Kind of. If you had the choice of being human and being a roller coaster; which would you take?”

“Why are you asking me these questions Railrunner?” she demanded.


Tension…


quote:


“I just would like to know.”

“Well, most of the time I do wish I was a coaster to tell you the truth.”

She said as she started her way down the stairs. In the back of my mind only one word pronounced itself, perfect.


Defused immediately. What a surprise, Miranda Leek Clare has no objections whatsoever to giving up her humanity, her human life, her friends and her family, forever. There must never be an obstacle to Railrunner’s plans, ever.

TombsGrave
Feb 15, 2008



"I'd like to be a steel coaster, light purple in color."
-"Sure thing, honey!"
"And I'd like to have free well and agency, too."
-"What's that, didn't hear you!" CHOMP

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 59 - Risky Business
Part Three of Four


quote:


Thunderbark and the rest of our alliance sat in the conference room at the far corner of the cake factory.


It isn’t much of an “alliance” when three of them (Clare, Sly and Buddy) were pretty much dragged into this against their will and two of them (Merrylegs and Static) are the designated damsel-in-distress and designated butt-monkey respectively.


quote:


Thunderbark sat the end of the large table as the head honcho. Next to him was Merrylegs and Static. Buddy and Sly were across from each other. Clare and I sat side by side. I looked down to see that a plate of soup was in front of us. I grasped the spoon and dipped it into the broth. I raised it to my mouth and sipped it up. My taste buds actually found a liking to it.

“What is this?” I asked Thunderbark.

“My specialty.” He replied grinning.

“It is good, what is in it?” Clare asked.

“Well, it is just a little bit of deer meat form [sic] a buck that I saw running around last night.” He said as Clare froze at the sound of his words. “In the broth there [sic] juices from a cow’s gut, I butchered him last night also.”


Because trespassing onto farms and slaughtering farm animals are the best way to keep a low profile.


quote:


He continued as Clare’s color began to drain from her face. She held up her hand to signal Thunderbark to stop.

“How can you eat this!” she said.

Thunderbark simply laughed one of his belly laughs. “This is a delicacy to us, and real world meat is perfect for this dish.”


Thunderbark does not give a drat that other people have to eat what he’s dishing up. Thunderbark is an rear end in a top hat. All amusement park rides in this series are assholes. Except for Ironwheel, he’s just a tough guy doing a tough job dealing with all those other assholes in Amusement Park Between.


quote:


“Thank you Thunderbark.” Clare started unexpectedly. “It was nice of you to make me something.” She said with a small smile.

“You don’t have to eat it; there are some frozen meals in the fridge back there. I checked the dates and they are all good.”


Since the factory is abandoned, the fridge hasn’t been powered for months and all those “frozen meals” must be rotten by now. Thunderbark’s clearly trying to kill Clare, which is not strictly speaking a course of action towards which I’m unsympathetic.


quote:


Clare nodded and left the room.


Clare is too dumb to realize that a fridge requires this little thing called “electricity”. She probably thinks a little ice fairy goes around the world making all the fridges cold.


quote:


I looked down to see that I had already consumed the whole bowl. I then cleared my throat and prepared to break my plan to Thunderbark.


Why do you have to “look down” to see that you’ve “already consumed the whole bowl”? Wouldn’t you be able to tell if you are eating the bowl? Bowls are made of porcelain or plastic or metal, all of which taste distinctly from soup.


quote:


“Do you wish to speak, Railrunner?” he asked looking up from his plate.

“As a matter of fact I do. I have a plan that could help us find Ironwheel.” I said standing and pacing to and fro.

“Go ahead then.”

“Okay, Ironwheel is waiting for me; I think I know just how to locate him.”

“How?”

“Well - we need some help from Captain Vick.”

“WHAT!” Thunderbark said standing up suddenly.

“Think about it! Vick has troops and forces crawling all over the city. If I could strike a deal with him, his grudge on us could -.”


Why in the blue loving hell would Captain Vick “strike a deal” with you? Ironwheel has only killed Mr Callahan (assuming we take this pro-Railrunner propaganda at face value) – Railrunner has killed hundreds, including many police officers in the course of their duty, and the one thing that a police officer hates most is a cop-killer.


quote:


“Get to the point.” Thunderbark demanded.

“All right, I could trick Vick into helping us by telling him everything he wants to know.”

“That is so stupid!”


That is spectacularly stupid indeed. There’s no use in Miranda Leek lampshading how dumb her story is, though, if she’s going to treat it completely seriously anyway.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 59 - Risky Business
Part Four of Four


quote:


“I’m not telling him the truth Thunderbark, I’m lying about it. To convince him even more, I’ll give him one of the guns you modified and put in the wrong bullets.”


Railrunner clearly wasn’t paying attention when Thunderbark explained, just the previous day, in this same chapter. that “[He] didn’t really do anything to the gun; [he] just did something to the bullets.”


quote:


Thunderbark was silent; he scratched his scruffy chin as he thought quietly to himself.


And Thunderbark can’t remember what he did or said the previous day either.


quote:


“It could work.” He said at last. “But I think you are going to have to carry this out.”

“Trust me Thunderbark; I know exactly what I’m doing.” I said grinning from ear to ear.

Within the next hour, I was ready. The large gun was tucked away inside my bag and I carried a cell phone to contact Thunderbark to keep him posted. I walked into the crisp morning air and across the cracked concrete.

The Hummer was still in the exact place that it was the night before. After waltzing through the weeds, I opened the door and started the engine. I then put the SUV into gear and drove it through the hole in the fence we had made the previous evening.

I tried to adjust the seat belt properly, but it was quite difficult with the real coaster gun tucked away inside my hoodie. It was a good thing I had it on safety so it wouldn’t shoot on accident and kill me. It felt as if I was an ex con, with loaded guns and an armored car at my disposal, plus my secret weapon that was well hidden.

My decision was to look for a pay phone so Captain Vick wouldn’t be able to trace my call.


Calls from pay phones can be traced, dumbass.


quote:


I drove about eight miles or so and still there was none in sight. Perhaps the reason why was because I was in the richest part of town and everyone was expected to have cell phones.


Then the fault lies with Railrunner, for choosing to drive in the “richest part of town”.


quote:


If I drove a few miles further, I could have a better chance.


Tension…


quote:


But suddenly my plan changed when I saw a lonely old pay phone in the middle of a deserted parking lot.


Defused immediately. Precious widdle Railrunner cannot be exposed to the slightest inconvenience or hardship, ever.

Also, how “rich” can this part of the town be if there’s a “deserted parking lot”?


quote:


Without hesitation, I pulled in and got out of my car. I looked around before taking the phone off the receiver and putting some spare change into the coin slot. I wanted to laugh as I dialed the number; it was like I was making a prank call. I wasn’t actually pranking him on the phone; I was just pulling a fast one. Finally someone answered.


Railrunner is a very mature, sensible person roller-coaster.

Also, how does he know Captain Vick’s number?


quote:


“Hello how may I help you?” asked the voice at the other end of the line.

“I would like to speak to Captain Vick, it is an emergency.”

“May I know your name sir?”

I thought for a second and smiled.

“Rodney Philips.” I said almost snickering into the receiver.


Very, very mature and sensible.


quote:


The voice went silent. Then I heard a great deal of scuffling around and a small whisper of an argument. At last my target came to the phone.


I trust that the police spent this time tracing the call.


quote:


“Yes? ”

“This is Railrunner.” I said.

“Nice to hear from you coaster,” Captain Vick replied.

“It is a thrill to hear your voice Captain, it has been so long.” I said with my voice being as smooth as velvet.

“Why are you calling me?” he said harshly.

“I have a proposition actually - for you Captain.”

“What kind?” he demanded.

“One that you will find satisfying. I suggest you keep recording so you can remember.”

“Fine, tell me your demands, Railrunner.” He sighed.


94th sigh of the book.


quote:


“Wonderful! I will tell you everything you wish to know, including how to kill a roller coaster. I just need for you to meet me in Mystic Park - alone. Under the steel coaster at eight o’clock sharp. Remember, no one else except you, I only trust you, Captain.” I finished.


Why is Railrunner so sure that Captain Vick will do exactly as he says? Why doesn’t anyone in this book just think? Just think a little bit, drat it! Stop being so intellectually lazy! :argh:


quote:


“I will.” He said deeply into the receiver.


Why does everyone in this book do things “deeply”? “Burp deeply in his throat”, “Laugh deeply in throat”, etc et al. This is a very annoying turn of phrase.


quote:


I smiled silently to myself and hung up the phone.


Do people in the great state of Tennessee have the ability to “smile” in a non-silent manner?


quote:


I then pulled out my cell and dialed Thunderbark’s number. While it rang I climbed into the Hummer and started it again, its rumbling purr echoing into the woods.

“Well, Railrunner?” Thunderbark answered.

“Stage one is complete. Captain Vick was easier to reel in than I thought.”


Only because everyone in this book (other than Detective Black) is dumb as a sack of rocks.


quote:


“Good, what was your stage two?”

“I’ll get him to meet me in Mystic Park tonight, that way I am at my most powerful point.”

“Nice one, very clever on your part. You are heading to Mystic Park now?”

“Yes,” I said pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. “I’m actually very close to it, probably a few miles.”

“Good, call me when you find out anything else. I wish you luck, Railrunner.”

“Thanks.” I replied clicking the phone shut. I stopped at a red light and waited. A police car pulled up beside me. I quickly put on some sunglasses and a baseball cap, that way if the officer looked over he couldn’t know it was me.


Because, as everyone knows, sunglasses and a baseball cap effectively conceals one’s face.


quote:


I turned up the radio and started to listen to music, making me seem like a normal human. The officer looked over, only to glance at me enjoying myself for a split second before the light changed green. He quickly sped away without suspecting me of anything.

As I drove I kept my accessories and music on, just in case any more police showed up. I started to think of how I was to word things. Captain Vick paid to [sic] close attention to details; I would have to be less specific but to the point.


Why wouldn’t Captain Vick just arrest / kill Railrunner on sight? Detective Black managed to capture Railrunner before, so why wouldn’t Captain Vick just do the same but bigger and better? Why does Railrunner just assume Captain Vick will go along with Railrunner’s stupid plan in the first instance? How can Miranda Leek possibly think that Railrunner is remotely “clever”?


quote:


I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel trying to think. After a few minutes I contemplated some pretty convincing lies; just as I pulled into the employee parking lot of Mystic Park.

I creaked the door open and stepped onto the park’s turf. The classic ripple of pain went across my back as my fingers and toes tingled. I looked to the steel coaster track, my heart started to beat faster. “This is going to be interesting.”


This is going to be complete drek.

Radio!
Mar 15, 2008

Look at that post.



quote:

It was a good thing I had it on safety so it wouldn’t shoot on accident and kill me.

What a loving tragedy that would have been.

Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009



As much as this book and the illustrations inspire actual physical revulsion for me (seriously, stop posting roller coaster erotica), that ferris wheel is pretty badass.

GrizzlyCow
May 30, 2011


I finally see now. I assumed the default government system for Amusement Park Between was a jerktocracy with the red coasters as the de facto biggest jerks, but these last few chapters have made me rethink this assumption. Amusement Park Between is actually a monarchy with a strict caste system. It is obvious in this caste system that the Fallen are on the bottom. Ironwheel must've appeared one day and rejected that system in favor of a system that promoted equality and merit. The rides in Amusement Park Between probably reacted violently, forcing Ironwheel to start a revolution to create a system where his people, the Fallen, were freed from their oppression.

In reality, Ironwheel is a complex figure who liberated his people from the tyranny of the Red. The rides of Amusement Park Between views him as illegitimate because he put the downtrodden on top and has worked to dismantle a fundamentally unequal system that promoted oppression between the people. Even though he worked hard creating a government that protected their freedom and universally raised their quality of life, he is an usurper "mixed breed"; he is an inferior ride.


On another note, it is fun to see that Railrunner is as loathsome and stupid as he always is. I sure hope Captain Vick planned an ambush. Just trap that motherfucker and shoot him with his own gun.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


quote:

I looked down to see that a plate of soup was in front of us.
"Holy poo poo! When did that get there?"

quote:

The Hummer was still in the exact place that it was the night before.
Miranda Leek feels she has to specify that Railrunner's car hasn't moved itself in the night. She has an interesting life.

quote:

After waltzing through the weeds,
"ONE-two-three-ONE-two-three-"

JosephWongKS posted:

Do people in the great state of Tennessee have the ability to “smile” in a non-silent manner?
When Miranda smiles, you hear the sound of bells in dam-drowned churches and insects scurry between her teeth. Interesting life.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




attackbunny posted:

When Miranda smiles

"Hmm, I've forgotten why I hate this book."



"There we go."

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Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




Miranda please stop. You're not clever and neither is the so-called hero of this story.

This is a stupid plan. Not the stupidest, I have absolute faith that Railrunner could think up of an even dumber plan, like marching into the police precinct to make a deal. I think everyone in this thread wouldn't put it past him.

Okay. So remind me again what the master plan is. We want to find Ironwheel who apparently has shapeshifting powers. We need Captain Vicks' help...why? He's after Clare and you, yes? Then let him come to you. Find a place, fortify it, then stay there. I suppose if you're a complete loving sociopath you can also put on Freakshow's corpse somewhere near it so that Ironwheel can be lured in. I can totally see Railrunner desecrating a corpse for such purposes.

quote:

My decision was to look for a pay phone so Captain Vick wouldn’t be able to trace my call.

Motherfucking :laffo:

  • Locked thread