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Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.




CLARE HUNGRY.

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paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW



Now wait just a goddamn minute.



Namco should sue.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:


quote:

I hope you weren’t planning to fall asleep tonight.
I was hoping to get some laughs before going to sleep. :sassargh:

JosephWongKS posted:

Is there a name for this style of writing, where you describe each individual step of the most mundane activities in the blandest way imaginable?
I wish to know this too. This is the very reason I stopped picking up random books to read without recommendation. :smithicide:

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



JosephWongKS posted:

Is there a name for this style of writing, where you describe each individual step of the most mundane activities in the blandest way imaginable? Miranda Leek’s done it before in Chapter 1 when writing about Rodney starting up his car:

Nyaa posted:

I wish to know this too. This is the very reason I stopped picking up random books to read without recommendation. :smithicide:

I just skimmed a book Miranda should have bought, How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide. There this style is called Zeno's Manuscript, with a special version called "On my way to the scene". But googling those two phrases turns up nothing related to prose unfortunately.

And JWKS, you're in for a treat. Reading the story blind is something that can never be truly experienced again.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009




Someone please reassure me that rollercoaster trains can't breed.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012



attackbunny posted:



Someone please reassure me that rollercoaster trains can't breed.

They can breed, they can even have ultrasounds.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011





I haven't clicked this because I'm not sure if it should have :nms: tags.

Also holy gently caress that woman's face :stonk: It's like the tattoo that one newly-wed goon got of his wife.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


Oh Jesus God and gently caress.

I don't even know what's worse -
a) mini Railrunner plus umbilical cord looking like the worst possible incarnation of centipedes in your rollercoaster's uterus, OR
b) the fact that Leek actually drew an ultrasound of her protagonist, OR
c) the confirmation that rollercoaster trains have genitalia, OR
d) the logo on top having that massive gap in so it look like The Story Of Amusement. Park Between. Park between what?

Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009


attackbunny posted:



Someone please reassure me that rollercoaster trains can't breed.

They complement each other so well! Requesting that JWKS use thumbnail portraits to show who's talking.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009


Nap Ghost

I love how our main character just looks like some dirty rear end in a top hat.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous



Ugh... This is just plain wrong. Tapeworms don't have feet.


Pick posted:

I love how our main character just looks like some dirty rear end in a top hat.

That's an insult to goatse.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






paragon1 posted:

Now wait just a goddamn minute.



Namco should sue.

I don't... what..? isn't that the same picture? I don't get it.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Interlude - Behind Iron Bars

quote:


He got up again, and started pacing. cold hard reality was hitting him. Because of his curse, he lost so many things; his home, his belongings, his identity, and his love. He was forever a fear and blood seeking monster. Doomed to live his life as a damned soul and with a destiny that would probably never be fulfilled.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


:siren: GUEST REVIEW BY MERCEDES :siren:

---------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7 – Cold Hard Facts


quote:


I made my way to the gate of the park. I stopped to ask a nearby janitor that was doing some extra cleaning a question.

“Do you know where Woody is?”

“He’s working on the steel coaster.” He replied in a wheezy voice.

“Thanks.”


Why doesn't the janitor get a name while the bar owner gets a first AND last name? I wish the janitor was black so I can call Miranda Leek out on racism.


quote:


I then started towards the coaster. My muscles began to tighten again and my skin tingled. I headed to the basement of the coaster’s station for I knew Thunderbark had a second office there. I had seen it while we were climbing the stairs to the station. It was unlocked so, I quietly opened the door.



“Hello Railrunner.” Thunderbark said closing a book. “I knew you were coming.”


“And I waited here for hours while pretending to read. I have to have the perfect dramatic pose.”


quote:


“We need to talk.” I said sternly.

“Of course, sit.”

I took a seat in front of Thunderbark’s desk. He sat down and took a sip of coffee. The “engineer” then looked at me, obviously waiting for me to start.

“I want to know what the hell you did to me.” I said pointing at him. Unexpectedly, Thunderbark only let a small smile come to his face.

“Absolutely nothing.” He replied.

“Don’t lie to me.” I retorted.

Thunderbark only looked at me smirking. “So I take it you know what happened last night?” he spoke as he closed a large book on his desk.


Again with the books. Thunderbark obviously wants to seem smarter than he actually is, so I can picture his desk covered with open books. Most of them upside down.


quote:


“I became a savage beast.”

“A roller coaster can be quite a nuisance on its first moon, but I’ll get to that in a second. As you know you are indeed a roller coaster. Now I think you should know a few pointers. First of all it is quite an honor to be of roller coaster blood. Both you and I have it.”


Thunderbark ominously closed a book on his desk.


quote:


“So you’re a coaster too?” I said finally realizing why he was so strange to begin with.

“A wooden one. As you are steel. Now I need to tell you what you should keep in mind at all times. In the real world, a roller coaster is like a werewolf each night. Your soul has no control at all and you have the taste of blood, until however, when on the night of your first full moon, on the strike of twelve, you will have control but you will still be a coaster. Then after the full moon, you will then have control from every night on.”


Thunderbark stared into Rodney's eyes, and then closed a book that was placed on his own head.


quote:


“The full moon is tomorrow night.”

“It is. Now there are other ways to becoming the roller coaster in pure daylight. One is by touching any coaster track. Two is by riding a roller coaster. And three is when you need power the most. And the forth [sic] I will tell you when you’re ready.”

“What about in Amusement Park Between?”

“You’re a roller coaster twenty four seven. When you’re here in the real world, the coaster is by night and any of the three reasons I told you.”


I feel I need to point this out. Rodney is not a roller coaster. He's a giant roller coaster train that can apparently fit through human sized doors.


quote:


“All right.”

“Now a roller coaster has powers beyond humans [sic] understanding. We can bend lightening [sic] and fire; posses [sic] super strength and agility. We can predict when things will happen, except death, and sense trouble. We can never get sick -.”


This is the best. Miranda Leek does not have auto-correct in her word processor, or she looks at the red squiggles with fondness as if they were her own personal roller coaster train.


quote:


“So that’s why I never got drunk on all those beers.” I said chuckling a little.

“Yes. As I was saying, we are venomous, we can hear a sound from miles, we have the sight of a dragon, and other things.”

“Is [sic] there any precautions?”


My question would be “Dragons don't exist.” I know that's not an actual question so shush. I just never knew that the power of a dragon's eyesight is commonly known information.


quote:


“Of course!” Thunderbark gasped as he threw one of his hands to his forehead. “Railrunner, stay away from civilization at night. Wear gloves and long sleeves when you work on the coasters. And forget about love.”


Thunderbark then closed a book he was balancing on his foot.


quote:


“Why love?”

“Railrunner, you are a roller coaster. Your lover is a human. Once she sees the real you, she’s done. Don’t even try to conceal the truth from her; she will find out sooner or later. [JWKS: No closing quotation marks here] Thunderbark said letting out an [sic] provoked sigh. “This is almost a blessing and a curse.”


When skunks are provoked, they spray the perceived threat with their stinky butt juice. When roller coasters are provoked, they impersonate Napolean Dynamite.


quote:



“Well that’s not stopping me from going out with her. In fact, we have a date this afternoon.”

“Fine then, don’t listen to me, but where is your date at?” Thunderbark said with his eyes changing like a mood ring again.

“It’s at the carnival.”

“What kind, Railrunner?” he demanded with his icy eyes going dark.

“The ones with the booths and rides.”


As opposed to the carnivals with half naked Brazilians dancing in the street. The best kind of carnival.


quote:


“Oh boy. Railrunner a roller coaster gains power from amusement parks and carnivals. You also gain power from rides and you can have the ability to control them like their speed and how long they last. If you step on the rails or in a coaster car, you go roller coaster instantly. I would think about that,” [JWKS: So that’s where the missing quotation mark went] Railrunner. It’s not a good idea to be going there, at all.” He said as he crossed his arms.

“I’ll be fine.” I said getting up and heading for the door.

“You are making a mistake!” I heard Thunderbark say as I shut the door behind me.


Angrily, Thunderbark closes another book that was hidden in the desk drawer.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW


Mercedes posted:

I don't... what..? isn't that the same picture? I don't get it.

Surprisingly, it is not! Miranda Leek's was very thorough and blatant in her intellectual theft.

Edit: And why the gently caress would rollercoasters be venomous (of all the things to get right, she said venomous instead of poisonous)?

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012



paragon1 posted:

Edit: And why the gently caress would rollercoasters be venomous (of all the things to get right, she said venomous instead of poisonous)?

This was what I was going to pick up on as well.

How are they venomous, why would they need to be?
Also bending lightning and fire?

I mean come on, how do any of the powers related to roller-coasters at all? Why do roller-coasters that can smash up police cars need to have all these powers arghhhh.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



Oh my god I had totally forgotten about Thunderbark's mood-ring eyes. :ughh: Though I believe that it is never going to come up again, Miranda forgets quite a lot of things. But I don't know why Railrunner does not have them, because he is the hero of the story and all that jazz.

And just to let you know, if you think all those powers are all that Railrunner has, think again. :cripes:

SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:


Iced Cocoa posted:

Oh my god I had totally forgotten about Thunderbark's mood-ring eyes. :ughh: Though I believe that it is never going to come up again, Miranda forgets quite a lot of things. But I don't know why Railrunner does not have them, because he is the hero of the story and all that jazz.

And just to let you know, if you think all those powers are all that Railrunner has, think again. :cripes:

I'm fully expecting her to add more powers as they become convenient to the plot, much in the same way my 7 year old self added new rules to games we made up as we played them so that I would win.

PhysicsFrenzy
May 30, 2011

this, too, is physics


Her drawings look like dragons with wheels glued on. Her descriptions make them sound like magic super dragons with wheels glued on.
Why is this about amusement park rides, exactly? :psyduck:

Oh well, it's a lot more ridiculous this way. JWKS, thanks for suffering through this. Also, EagerSleeper, thanks for linking this trainwreck in the deviantart thread. :allears:

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






I found myself shaking my head as I was going through the chapter. The entire chapter.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


PhysicsFrenzy posted:

Her drawings look like dragons with wheels glued on. Her descriptions make them sound like magic super dragons with wheels glued on.
Why is this about amusement park rides, exactly? :psyduck:
That is exactly the thing I was thinking too. If you wanted not-dragons, why would you decide on rollercoaster trains? Humans routinely sit on them for fun.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


Well, my accent is too strong for a dramatic reading, so have this instead:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


my dad posted:

Well, my accent is too strong for a dramatic reading, so have this instead:



You need to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck that is longer than her entire head.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Mar 22, 2013

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






my dad posted:

Well, my accent is too strong for a dramatic reading


And this is why you should read dramatically :)

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009


I guess someone managed to one-up anthropomorphic airplanes, huh. Didn't think it was possible.

Shine on, Miranda Leek, you crazy furry diamond.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.



It must be really inconvenient to turn into a roller coaster train when you step into a roller coaster train. Just think about those poor restraints!

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


JosephWongKS posted:

You need to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck that is longer than her entire head.

I tried to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck is longer than her entire head. :gonk:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


my dad posted:

I tried to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck is longer than her entire head. :gonk:

How about swapping out her head for her neck in that picture?

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


JosephWongKS posted:

How about swapping out her head for her neck in that picture?

Something like this?



I had to improvise, since Neckzilla doesn't actually end in the original picture, it goes beyond the bottom edge. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if it ends at all.

edit: If you really want fun with Neckzilla, have this:

my dad fucked around with this message at 13:04 on Mar 22, 2013

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




When you get in a roller coaster, you become a roller coaster. That's like a "yo dawg" meme the author gave up on halfway through.

Roller coasters run on electricity and make sparks so that's why they control lightning and fire. The venom has me mystified. Maybe because the chemicals used in coaster cleaning are toxic to humans? hosed if I know.

quote:

“Oh boy. Railrunner a roller coaster gains power from amusement parks and carnivals. You also gain power from rides and you can have the ability to control them like their speed and how long they last. If you step on the rails or in a coaster car, you go roller coaster instantly. I would think about that,” [JWKS: So that’s where the missing quotation mark went] Railrunner. It’s not a good idea to be going there, at all.” He said as he crossed his arms.

“I’ll be fine.” I said getting up and heading for the door.

"Oh boy" is right. It's like the beginning of a loving Freakazoid episode.

"Don't say his name!"
"You mean Candlejack?"
"...Freakazoid why did you say his name?"

Cue ~hilarity~.

Seriously Rodney. You have a loving power you cannot control which makes you hulk out and go nuts. Are you sure you wish to spring this surprise on your girlfriend during your romantic date? I know people say you need to spice up your love life, but I don't think this is what they meant.

Speaking of cartoons, I bet when Rodney will finally master his awesome powers he'll yell "I'M GOING COAST!" a la Danny Phantom.

quote:

...And three is when you need power the most. And the forth [sic] I will tell you when you’re ready.”

Hey! Two deus ex machinas for the price of one! Awesome!

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW


So I've decided that books like this are too much a price to pay. Let's ban all the books.

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



SSNeoman posted:

Speaking of cartoons, I bet when Rodney will finally master his awesome powers he'll yell "I'M GOING COAST!" a la Danny Phantom.

:ughh: :cripes: :suicide:

You're so close, you're so so close you have no idea.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




Iced Cocoa posted:

:ughh: :cripes: :suicide:

You're so close, you're so so close you have no idea.

Wait - did you voluntarily buy this book too?

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



Yes. It was brought up in the "Strangest thing on DeviantArt" PYF thread. I read the preview and thought it was a great book for drinking games, then it proved too much for me once I got further into it. Twisted! is the only book I've actually deleted from my Kindle and the Amazon Kindle Library.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






This is amazing. I can't wait to see how terrible this gets.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


I've just finished transcribing Chapter 8 and am typing out my review of it. In the meantime, enjoy this preview picture of half-Rodney half-Railrunner.


JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Mar 25, 2013

Pick
Jul 19, 2009


Nap Ghost

Iced Cocoa posted:

Yes. It was brought up in the "Strangest thing on DeviantArt" PYF thread. I read the preview and thought it was a great book for drinking games, then it proved too much for me once I got further into it. Twisted! is the only book I've actually deleted from my Kindle and the Amazon Kindle Library.

I'm pretty sure this is the most DeviantArt thing I've ever been exposed to.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 8 – Carnevil

quote:

I went home to get ready; I wasn’t going to listen to Thunderbark this time. A few minutes Clare drove up the driveway. As she climbed out and edged toward the front door, I started to get second thoughts, what if Thunderbark was right? Maybe this was a stupid Idea [JWKS: Spelled with a capital “I”], but I couldn’t bail now.

You totally can bail, moron! Just say you have a headache or a stomachache or something!


quote:

“Are you ready?” Clare asked.

“Yeah.”

“Did you want to take my car or yours?” she smiled as she started out the door.

“Yours. Mine was towed last night.” I said coming up with an answer that seemed logical. Even though in the back of my mind that was probably what happened.

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you later,” I gulped.

I will buy a free forum upgrade or avatar to the goon who can demonstrate that Rodney’s car was destroyed or otherwise lost during one of the earlier chapters, because I’ve re-read all of them and can’t find any evidence to such effect. Of course, that means that you will have to re-read the earlier chapters, but that’s the iron price you have to pay.


quote:

Clare and I then got into her convertable [sic] and started our departure. A sixth scent [sic] kicked in. I’m stupid for doing this! I shouldn’t have even answered the drat door! I can’t get out of this now, I’ll just get some info on the carnival first, I thought.

Miranda Leek has a gross misunderstanding of what a “sixth sense” typically entails.


quote:

“So, how many people do you think will be there?” I asked.

“Oh, lots! Its [sic] opening night.”

“What all is there?”

“Well there are games, booths, rides - .”

“Do you know what kinds of rides there are?”

“You know, carousels, ferris wheels, tilt o whirls, roller coasters -.”

“Did you say roller coasters?” I said as my heart skipped a beat.

“Yes, do you like them?”

“Well yes and no.”

“What do you not like about them?”

Oh boy, how should I put this? I pondered as I rubbed my chin.

“Well I have my reasons.”

“Weird, because you are a roller coaster engineer.” She laughed as she turned on the radio.

If only you knew, if only you could understand, I thought. I wish if I told you, Clare, that you could accept it and still love me. If only I wasn’t a monster.

This dialogue makes me cringe. Who the hell says “Well yes and no” or “Well, I have my reasons” when talking about roller coasters? Just lie, you bloody idiot! Say you have motion sickness or something!


quote:

I tried to relax a little bit; I just have to avoid riding or touching any coasters. Plus be back and away from Clare before the moon rose. If I wasn’t careful I could kill her by mistake!

“So how did your car get towed?” Clare asked suddenly.

I chuckled a little. “I parked it in the wrong place.” I wasn’t really lying on that one.

“Don’t worry Rodney, I’ve been there and done that.” She laughed as she drove around the bend. “Another thing, where were you last night? I called lots of times to ask if you were okay since the monster was out.”

My blood ran cold. “Well Clare, I was at the hospital with my friends [JWKS: Missing comma] they had to go to the emergency room last night.” I said lying through my teeth.

“Oh, hope they are all right.”

“They should be.”

That’s the lie you choose to tell? Something as easily disprovable as that?


quote:

“Well, we will be there in a sec. It is right around this curb.”

“Wonderful.” I replied. I was in deep water now.

A few seconds later I saw the carnival, and its rides. Including the roller coaster. A small streak of pain went down my spine even before I stepped out onto the cracked concrete. I’ve made a big mistake, I thought as a drop of sweat ran down my neck.

“Oh crap,” I said without thinking.

“What is it?”

“Ummm, there are a lot of people here.” I said coming up with another answer.

“What’s wrong with that? Besides lines.”

“Well, I’m not so good with crowds.”

“Just come on Rodney. [JWKS: Missing quotation mark] She said guiding me out of the car.

“Maybe we should go to the movies or something.”

Clare suddenly turned to me. “What is the truth, Rodney? Why don’t you want to be here?” She said, her eyes looking deep within me.

“Clare – the truth is complicated.” I sighed. “Hard to understand as well.”

She didn’t reply she just continued on guiding me into the carnival.

“Come on Rodney, lets [sic] at least try to put our problems aside us.” She said walking through the admission gates.

If only I could, Clare.

Say you got’ve agoraphobia, you frigging dumbass! That’s a lie that not easily falsified!


quote:

A little while later Clare dragged me onto a ferris wheel. As soon as I sat down, my feet and hands started to tingle. I’m feeling the power, I realized. I need to keep in control at all cost and maintain stability.

“This is fun,” Clare said as we slowly went up.

“Um, Clare, I have to go home before night falls.” I said suddenly as I stared ahead at the horizon, not even flinching once.

“Why?” She questioned.

“I have to go to work.”

“Really? Odd, I’m sure we can work something out.”

When the ride as over, we went on a few more. The coaster was getting more and more power by the second. My body was feeling more unstable by the minute. Clare had not mentioned the roller coaster yet, thank god.

“Getting power from taking carnival rides” is so hilariously dumb both in concept and execution that it almost makes up for the aggravatingly dumb that is everything else about the book.


quote:

“I’m saving the best for last Rodney, the roller coaster.”

So much for forgetting all about it. I need to make her be distracted. Do something other than a ride. But what? The performances? No, something that could keep her attention. A game! That’s it! I needed to keep her busy. How to get away? Now there was a question that I still had no answer to.

“I have a stomachache / headache / from the noise / the crowds / the carnival food / the rides.” There, problem solved.


quote:

“Why don’t we do some games?”

“Oh alright [JWKS: Missing full stop]

We got in line for one of those games were [sic] you throw a ball at a pile of clay pins. Clare was up first.

“I suck at this, so don’t you laugh Rodney!”

“I won’t,” I smiled at her. She then threw the ball at the pins, missing them by several inches.

“Crap, well it’s your turn.” She said handing me the ball.

I took it from her and looked at the bottles. I could suddenly see their pressure points. Where I needed to hit them in order for them to fall over. I took aim, and then released the ball like a cannon blast. It hit the bottles, making them fly through the air, the ball went straight through the tent. I began to feel embarrassment on top of everything else.

“Bottles and their pressure points – A thesis by Rodney Railrunner.”

Also, Rodney apparently now has the proportionate strength of a roller-coaster even in his human form, but as a trade-off has the proportional intelligence of a brick.


quote:

“Dang, [JWKS: Missing quotation mark] said the perplexed host, [JWKS: Missing quotation mark] well here is your prize,” he said, handing me a giant stuffed panda. I nodded in thanks then handed the bear to Clare.

Oh no, not Master Lazy Panda!


quote:

“That was amazing! [JWKS: Missing quotation mark] She said grasping my arm. She stopped and ran her frail fingers among my skin, puzzled. “Rodney – have you been working out? Your muscles are huge!”

“Um – sort of.”

“Hey you want to go on the roller coaster now?”

“No. How about uh, the house of mirrors?” I said, blurting out the first attraction I saw.

“Fine.” She said a little disenchanted.

Maybe I could lose her in there, I thought. We started to walk towards the maze. It wasn’t busy; Clare and I were the only ones going in. The operator let us through.

Lose her in there? That’s better than just telling her you aren’t feeling well?


quote:

“See you at the exit!” she said heading into the maze.

I’ve seen “house of mirrors” in Scooby Doo and other American cartoons, but have never actually visited one. Do their operators need to go through the maze themselves every single time there’s a customer? That sounds rather inefficient.


quote:

I started, but as I looked into the mirrors, I saw the face of horror, Railrunner’s. My reflection was the real me. I looked around; I had a roller coaster reflection in every single one! I began to run, Railrunner running with me, as my reflection. I must get out of here! No one can see me for what I really am. I ran faster, my lungs expanded and compressed as I let out huge puffs of air.

So he’s got improved strength but not stamina or endurance. A shame, really – Clare might have been able to accept Rodney’s shapeshifting nature if it meant he could start lasting hours and hours in bed.


quote:

I stumbled out of the exit and landed on the dirt ground, right at Clare’s feet.

The hell? Didn’t they go in together? How did Clare get out of the house of mirrors faster than Rodney if he’d been running through the place?


quote:

She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, and started to yank me across the lot.

“Rodney, we are riding the roller coaster now, no exceptions.” She said forcing me to follow her.

“Clare no! [JWKS: Missing quotation mark] I pleaded. My spine began to ache as we stood right in front of it.

“What is it Rodney?” She said glaring at me.

“You really want the truth! I’m a monster!”

She rolled her eyes mischievously and climbed up the platform, still pulling me along.

“Clare you don’t understand! You could get killed!” I pleaded.

“Rodney, you are most [sic] likely to drown in your bathtub than falling off a roller coaster any day.” She laughed.

[JWKS: Missing quotation mark] But Clare, you don’t -.” I didn’t finish, she pulled me into the car with her.

Clare seems pretty nonchalant about the whole “I’m a monster” bit. Is were-roller-coaster-induced stupidity a disease that can be spread to your family and loved ones?


quote:

Rodney broke out in a tremendous sweat at the car climbed the hill. His body started to shake. Clare looked at him frightened.

“Rodney! What’s wrong with you!” She screamed.

“Clare, I told you… I’m a monster!” Rodney said wincing. The car traveled faster, Rodney shook violently, and his form had been activated. His skin began to singe and peel, exposing a mixture of metal and flesh underneath. Clare screamed horrendously. Rodney was changing and getting stronger. He lifted up his restraint, and as the car rounded the curb, Rodney tumbled out. He hit the concrete without breaking any bones or scaring [sic] his body. He then started to scream.





Rodney began to change. No! he screamed. I will not be overpowered! He fought the beast that he really was. His change began to slow, but it could never be stopped.

This is physically painful to read.


quote:

Clare stood several feet away from him watching in horror.

In the last paragraph “The car traveled faster”. When and how did Clare get off the roller coaster herself? :psyduck:


quote:

Rodney’s shoulderblades [sic] vibrated as seats sprouted along his back. The skin was ripping off his chest and, he was slowly losing his sanity. His hands and feet fused together to make wheels. His tailbone extended as his teeth grew into fangs. Still, his own will was in control, but not for long.

Won’t someone please make a animation short of this?


quote:

Clare walked up to him.

“Rodney!” She yelled.

He turned and looked at her. He was only half roller coaster at the moment. His skin dangled from him and his hair falling out.

“Rodney, are you a - ?”

“Clare!” he said in a rugged voice. “This only happens at night! And when I touch a coaster. Clare you must go!”

“This only happens at night! And when I touch a coaster.” Miranda Leek may be a terrible writer in almost every way, but she has undisputed mastery of bathos.


quote:

“I need to protect you.”

“NO! Clare I have no control until the full moon, until then I can kill you!” he finished as a rippling pain raced through his body. He wailed like a dog and started to rip off his excess skin. He was losing it.

“Clare… RUN!”

He grew through his clothes and towered over Clare. His jaw popped out of socket and then pushed forward, forming a snout. His eyes burned as they became unhuman [sic]. He roared to sky signaling that Railrunner had returned.

Clare stood motionless looking at her lover. She didn’t want to believe what she was seeing.

“Rodney?” she said to him dumbfounded. He started to recover from the rapid change, and then his eyes met hers. Railrunner snarled and extracted his steel dagger-like claws.

“Rodney! It’s me!”

Its [sic] Railrunner now.” The coaster spoke. He edged up toward Clare. Then he threw back his head and howled. Then before Clare could react, he lunged for her. She was frozen in fear and couldn’t move…

And then Rodney was the Railrunner.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Mar 28, 2013

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012



JosephWongKS posted:

I will buy a free forum upgrade or avatar to the goon who can demonstrate that Rodney’s car was destroyed or otherwise lost during one of the earlier chapters, because I’ve re-read all of them and can’t find any evidence to such effect. Of course, that means that you will have to re-read the earlier chapters, but that’s the iron price you have to pay.

Don't think it is specific enough but he smashes up at least 1 car at the bar.

quote:

Railrunner crossly walked up to the police. They began to fire, their bullets simply bouncing off of him. He then grabbed the front bumper of the cruiser, and tossed it like a toy. It smashed into another car.

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Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009


I'm pretty sure Clare's dialogue was generated via Smarterchild.

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