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attackbunny
May 1, 2009


Most of the time Railrunner's railrunning through woods or over soft terrain, isn't he? And his wheels are pretty skinny. Wouldn't trying to apply like 20000 newtons downwards through one of them end pretty awkwardly for him? He'd have to have them flat to the ground, which means railrunning is more a sort of extra-high-speed waddle.

ETA: rollercoaster butt shot

attackbunny fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Apr 26, 2013

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Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



attackbunny posted:


ETA: rollercoaster butt shot



Is he hugging himself? I tried replicating the hand thing and all I got was some strange hug thing from it. Usually when I cross my arms I somehow tuck one arm under the other. How can you mess something as simple as crossing arms?

JWKS, please come with the next chapter, we're getting so desperate we're talking physics and bringing whatever stuff that's in Miranda's gallery.

gandhichan
Dec 25, 2009

There's a new terror of the skies, bitches.
AND HER HAIR IS PINK.

Iced Cocoa posted:

Is he hugging himself? I tried replicating the hand thing and all I got was some strange hug thing from it. Usually when I cross my arms I somehow tuck one arm under the other. How can you mess something as simple as crossing arms?

I think it's supposed to be a generic coy, come-hither pose.



No idea what his one segmented arm is supposed to signify, I'm sure there's a good reason for it.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

What I especially like is how Miranda experiments with different generic Disney-concepts expressions, whereas Railrunner in the book can only switch between "angry" or "irritated".


:spergin::science:Time, Round Three!

As promised, today we're going to look at what really happens when Railrunner dropped from the museum ceiling, only to land gently on his feet, his grace rivaling that of a cat. I was afraid having no idea how to approach this conundrum, but I ended having a lot of fun, hope you enjoy it too.
First up, there's a lot of unknown variables. Thankfully, we only have to pull one from our rear end: the hight of the museum's ceiling. Museums usually have pretty high ceilings, and since this one sounds like a big one, we're gonna assume the room was 5 meters high. Next up, we need to break down the landing. In order to land with the least force of impact possible, Railrunner needs to decelerate as long as he can. In his case, he can start the landing as soon as he touches the ground and has to stop it once his body touches it. To determine how long that distance is, we'll have to pull up this nice reference sheet again. Now, we know that Railrunner is 20 feet / 6.069 meters long, and since his cars seem to have a constant size, we can determine that the distance from the ground to his belly is about half a meter. Since he'll be turning when letting go of the ceiling, his fall height will be reduced to about 3.8 meters.
But before we go on, we'll need a control to determine how soft Railrunner's impact has to be. Since he supposedly was no louder than a cat, let's use a cat for reference, shall we?
The average cat weighs about 3.9 kilograms and is 46 centimeters long. Using the same principle we used to determine Railrunner's proportions, we now know that the distance between ground and catbelly is 15 centimeters. Next up, the force of impact! Now, this would have been a bit tricky, hadn't I found this handy tool that lets you calculate exactly what we need: the impact force of a falling object. Filling in our variables, we get a result of 973 Newtons! Which really isn't much.
Now then, if we fill in Railrunners figures, we get... 6766635 (Edit: Just 676635, actually) Newtons.
Slightly more than a cat.
In fact, I'm pretty sure the floor would have failed catastrophically with that kind of power. We're talking half the thrust of a GODDAMN SPACE SHUTTLE AT LAUNCH (Edit: A 20th of the thrust, but still.) here. Forget not making a noise, he should be glad if there's still a hallway left to crawl around.

Welp, I'm out of myths to bust bullshit to point out, any ideas?

horriblePencilist fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Apr 26, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



horriblePencilist posted:

Welp, I'm out of myths to bust bullshit to point out, any ideas?

Perhaps just what force is exerted by a roller coaster to bring down prey?

http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/art/Roller-Coaster-Anatomy-Fight-268569239

quote:

Hunting:

Twisted roller coasters are skillful hunters.

Generally, when hunting, roller coasters are MORE violent than in battle, driven by hunger...

It can take down any size prey.

Roller coasters hunt similar to the big cats, stalking prey and masters at tracking.

Silent on their wheels and light footed.

Roller coasters prefer hunting with just themselves and not weapons. They LOVE the trill of the hunt.

Coasters take down prey quickly, but sometimes feels the need to play with their food before killing it.

Can smell blood for miles

Roller coasters have distinct footprints.

When hunting, the coaster's primary targets in taking down prey is the neck and throat.

Roller Coasters will never hunt other rides since they live in harmony with them. Only animals.

Twisted coasters love the scent of blood and are usually covered in it after hunting. (They fancy the taste!)

With a strong bite force of several tons, they can tear off huge chunks of meat from a carcass. They can rip muscles easily and chew through bone with ease.

Coasters can consume as much as an elephant in a setting.

Reds have the biggest blood lust of all coasters.

So, if a roller coaster moves at the top speed of 200 mph to bring down prey, will he even need to bite/slash the prey to bring it down when he connects with it?

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


horriblePencilist posted:

What I especially like is how Miranda experiments with different generic Disney-concepts expressions, whereas Railrunner in the book can only switch between "angry" or "irritated".


:spergin::science:Time, Round Three!

As promised, today we're going to look at what really happens when Railrunner dropped from the museum ceiling, only to land gently on his feet, his grace rivaling that of a cat. I was afraid having no idea how to approach this conundrum, but I ended having a lot of fun, hope you enjoy it too.
First up, there's a lot of unknown variables. Thankfully, we only have to pull one from our rear end: the hight of the museum's ceiling. Museums usually have pretty high ceilings, and since this one sounds like a big one, we're gonna assume the room was 5 meters high. Next up, we need to break down the landing. In order to land with the least force of impact possible, Railrunner needs to decelerate as long as he can. In his case, he can start the landing as soon as he touches the ground and has to stop it once his body touches it. To determine how long that distance is, we'll have to pull up this nice reference sheet again. Now, we know that Railrunner is 20 feet / 6.069 meters long, and since his cars seem to have a constant size, we can determine that the distance from the ground to his belly is about half a meter. Since he'll be turning when letting go of the ceiling, his fall height will be reduced to about 3.8 meters.
But before we go on, we'll need a control to determine how soft Railrunner's impact has to be. Since he supposedly was no louder than a cat, let's use a cat for reference, shall we?
The average cat weighs about 3.9 kilograms and is 46 centimeters long. Using the same principle we used to determine Railrunner's proportions, we now know that the distance between ground and catbelly is 15 centimeters. Next up, the force of impact! Now, this would have been a bit tricky, hadn't I found this handy tool that lets you calculate exactly what we need: the impact force of a falling object. Filling in our variables, we get a result of 973 Newtons! Which really isn't much.
Now then, if we fill in Railrunners figures, we get... 6766635 Newtons.
Slightly more than a cat.
In fact, I'm pretty sure the floor would have failed catastrophically with that kind of power. We're talking half the thrust of a GODDAMN SPACE SHUTTLE AT LAUNCH here. Forget not making a noise, he should be glad if there's still a hallway left to crawl around.

Welp, I'm out of myths to bust bullshit to point out, any ideas?

Clearly Railrunner does it with a combination of Power No. 9 (Super agility), Power No. 26 (Shrink and expand at will), and Power No. 27 (Control gravity).

I'm frankly surprised that Railrunner hasn't gotten flat-out flight powers by now.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

First of all, I have to apologize for botching up a calculation. Railrunner doesn't exert 6766635 Newtons of force, but rather 676635 Newtons. Still not as graceful as a cat though, but at least it isn't half a space shuttle going off in a museum.

JosephWongKS posted:

Clearly Railrunner does it with a combination of Power No. 9 (Super agility), Power No. 26 (Shrink and expand at will), and Power No. 27 (Control gravity).

I'm frankly surprised that Railrunner hasn't gotten flat-out flight powers by now.

Well, agility doesn't really have to do with deceleration. You might be able to cease momentum faster, but you'll also apply more force, which isn't what we're looking for here.
The shrink/expand power doesn't actually help much either, since he has to preserve mass and can't make himself lighter. He could strech his legs to increase the duration of the braking phase, but his legs would have to be about 350 meters long to mirror the force of a falling cat. He could have stretched his legs to touch the ground before he let go of the ceiling, but the book specifically said he dropped and landed akin to a cat. Gravity Manipulation would change everything and render this whole thing invalid, but even with inverted gravity you couldn't descend upwards. descend is defined by travelling downwards, the opposite direction of up, so no matter how you would define down (either towards the earth or towards the gravitational pull), the statement always contradicts itself. The only rules that are being bent here are the definitions of the words "ascend" and "descend".

Iced Cocoa posted:

Perhaps just what force is exerted by a roller coaster to bring down prey?

http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/art/Roller-Coaster-Anatomy-Fight-268569239


So, if a roller coaster moves at the top speed of 200 mph to bring down prey, will he even need to bite/slash the prey to bring it down when he connects with it?

Well, the description doesn't explicitly say they kill using their claws or teeth, only that they target the neck and that their teeth can easily tear through flesh and bones. Also, rollercoasters love the thrill of the hunt :cripes:, so who knows how fast they attack. But let's check out the force by comparing it to a car ramming into an animal at 100 km/h. Using F= 0.5*m*v^2, that'd equal 385802 Newton of force, around 385 Gs.
Now, Railrunner on the other hand weighs 9071 kilograms and can reach a top speed of 200 mph, so there's a bit more force behind a crash. Using the same formula gives us 36282020 god drat skullcrushing Newtons. That's almost 4000 times the earth's gravity obliterating your body. Basically, all they have to do to kill their prey that apparently lives in Amusement Park Between is lightly bump into it.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 18 - Final Rush

quote:


My heart raced as I ran. Blood pumped at an abdominal [sic] rate. Sirens came from all directions and flashing lights lit up the horizon. The FBI was closing in on us. We made a straight beeline for Mystic Park. We started through the forest near the campground. The leaves rustled as we blazed past. The barking of dogs sounded, they were K-9 units. We were slowly being ratted out.


Again, I ask – why do they bother running from the humans? Just flatten them with your one billion and one super-powers and stroll leisurely to your destination. It’s not like any of them give a drat about human lives. Or any other kind of life, given Railrunner’s wanton cruelty to animals.


quote:


Thunderbark charged into the campground, suddenly a dog ambushed him. He yanked it off and threw the barking crusader into a tree, knocking it out.


Sorry, make that Railrunner and Thunderbark’s wanton cruelty to animals.


quote:


“They must already be here!” Merrylegs shouted over the calamity.

“How much time is left, Thunderbark?” I said turning to him.

“We have about an hour left.”

“That’s more than enough time.” I grinned.

“For what?” he questioned, slightly astonished as his eyebrows rose.

“We need to lose these goons once and for all. They probably have video cameras with them, if they film us as we leave. We will be exposed. By getting rid of them we are safe.”

Thunderbark rubbed his chin. “You’re right, Railrunner.” He agreed as he looked toward the entrance.

“They will probably be entering at the main gate, that’s the direction where the dog came from.” Static said.

“Talley ho then.” Merrylegs announced as she reared back neighing.


Why is she neighing? She’s not an actual horse, nor even a were-horse. She’s a were-carousel-horse, which are known for not neighing.


quote:

The police were probably at the midway of the park. During my times here as a human, I remembered seeing a ferris wheel near the midway that overlooked the park. I could catch the police by surprise there. With my plan in mind, I veered off from our pack.

I stood at the foot of the giant ferris wheel seconds later. I looked up its steel structure; it seemed to teeter in the wind. It was like climbing up a big spider web, I thought as I went up it. The metal beams creaked and stressed under my weight. This thing wasn’t built like a roller coaster track. It felt like it would snap and fall over at any moment.


Now “metal beams creaked and stressed” under his weight, where previously he was perfectly able to cling upside down on roofs and do all kinds of Matrix poo poo. I’m starting to get the impression that Miranda Leek doesn’t remember what abilities her characters have from chapter to chapter.


quote:


When I reached the top I tried to balance myself out. Sure enough I was right, hoards [sic] of police stood at the midway. Their dogs sniffed the place out carefully. To my right I could see Merrylegs in the “kiddie” section looking for any straggling policemen. I soon spotted Static in the parking lot, disabling cars. I looked around for Thunderbark; I finally spotted him, in all places, the water park. He was looking for something, the portal perhaps.


Wouldn’t the police officers have left a few of their members behind as back-up? Is Static possessed of the same magic stealth abilities as Railrunner?


quote:


Then the ferris wheel let out a loud creak of despair. It echoed in the dead silence. A spotlight was shown on it; the beam of light slowly ascended the metal frame. My tail wagged, this time I was ready for them. The light reached me, it reflected off my shiny metal. All of the policemen turned their gaze upward.

“Looking for me?” I said smirking. The men aimed their guns. I leaped off the ferris wheel, doing a somersault in mid air, and then landing on my wheels.


Now he’s doing a friggin’ somersault. A twenty-foot long, twenty thousand pound were-roller-coaster is doing mid-air somersaults.


quote:


Bullets rang out, bouncing off me and hitting some of the misfortunate. I turned to face the police, but a huge armored truck sped at me. The many men shouting and waving their firearms like mad.


Not even untrained civilians would “wave their firearms” around during a firefight, let alone trained police officers.


quote:


Quickly reacting, I grabbed the truck’s front bumper and hoisted it in the air. The shouts of triumph turned into screams. I threw the truck at the brigade. It hit several squad cars and policemen. I faced the remaining humans and activated my claws.

They fired at me once more. I slashed a nearby light post and used it as a bat. I swung, breaking bones and smashing cars. I then tossed the temporary weapon aside, and began to fight head on. Men ran from the left and right. Static and Merrylegs had arrived to join the party. Merrylegs lowered her horn and Static’s cable shot off hot sparks. I watched as the carousel horse’s unicorn like horn pierced through the flesh of humans. Static stung people as if they were a scorpion’s prey. No matter how grueling [sic], this sight still engrossed [sic] me.


I’m pretty sure Miranda Leek meant “aroused” in that last sentence, given the context and Railrunner’s characterization so far.


quote:


I continued to lash out and use my rage and frustration as my weapon. A fleet of officers stood in rows with shields, and their guns aimed at me. I felt the power from the Augu Ra. I started to absorb it, the necklace began to produce a blinding glow. Then the power that generated from it was released in a major blast that came from the amulet, it hit the row of men, completely disintegrating them.


“It has powers that are very vital to you and to be discovered”, said Thunderbark of the Augu Ra in Chapter 12. Why does something with blood-bending, fire-bending and lightning-bending still need his McGuffin to give him Mass Disintegration?


quote:


Then I watched in horror, as the FBI captain appeared on top of a destroyed squad truck, he held, of all things, a bazooka.


YES! Avenge your fallen friend Pay them back for the minor injury they did to Detective Black!


quote:


“How did I miss him?” I said to myself.

“Time to bring this coaster into downtime!” he laughed. He aimed the weapon at my head. He placed his hand on the trigger. Before he could fire, a lightning bolt made contact with him. The air started to smell like burning flesh. I turned around to see Thunderbark standing upon the clock tower. He dropped down, landing next to me.


gently caress YOU THUNDERBARK! Let Railrunner live or die on his own merits – who are you to interfere with the badass likes of Detective Black or FBI captain?


quote:


“I found the portal, it is in the water park. We must go there now! Time is almost up!”

I roared to get Merrylegs and Static’s attention. They stopped and ran to join us.

“Where [sic] heading to the portal!” yelled Thunderbark. “Follow me!”


The last chapter was pretty much free of typos – why have they returned with a vengeance all of a sudden?


quote:


We ran in a blinding flash. We leaped over rides and booths. I looked over my shoulder to see that the remaining men were trying to track. We entered the water park, shutting its entrance behind us.

“It’s this way!” Thunderbark said signaling for us to follow. We trailed after him, at some point it looked as if he was flying he was running so fast.

He led us to a quiet area at the back of the water park. It was a relaxation area for adults when they wanted to take a break from the boisterous kids.

Thunderbark walked to a Jacuzzi. The water within it was glowing bright blue, and you couldn’t see the bottom of the tub like all the others.

Then Thunderbark looked to the horizon, the sun was starting to appear from the back of the distant hills. He then slithered into the tub, disappearing completely.

“Where did -.”

“No questions just follow.” Merrylegs said jumping into the water. She was followed by Static. I swallowed and took one last look at my world, and then dived into the blue abyss.

Water swarmed around me like a bunch of angry bees. I opened my eyes I couldn’t see anything. I could hear nothing. I started to panic and thrash around in the water. My body felt like it was being compressed. It started to sting my seats and metal. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I tried to swim upward. I could now see a blinding yellow light. With a sudden kick, I surfaced. My eyes were blurry from the water. I climbed out, gasping for air. Then my senses got back into focus.

I looked to see Merrylegs and Static beside me. I stared forward at Thunderbark, who smiled warmly at me. I looked beyond him, and gasped.

We weren’t in my world anymore. The vegetation was like a rainforest. Valleys with rides stretched far. The whole place looked like a dream.

“Everyone, welcome to Amusement Park Between!”


Also known as Hell.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

What anger? What frustration? You have a steady job, a supportive girlfriend and you recently discovered you're practically omnipotent. Are you angry because you found out your drinking buddies don't like rollercoasters? There is zero reason for you to be angry, especially considering what you've done to this city. Jesus loving Christ, this is absolutely horrid!

I am really excited to find out more about Amusement Park Between. There's been a lot of bullshit piling up, I can't wait to see how further Miranda is going to entangle herself in her web of stupid, seeing how there's no way she'd actually elaborate on something in a reasonable manner.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


List of Railrunner’s powers

Chapter 4
1. Remotely shatter glass
2. Possesses claws that are 15-inch long and perfectly sharp

Chapter 5
3. Ability to run “faster than a car at top speed”
4. Can “hear anything and everything”
5. Heightened stealth

Chapter 7
6. Bend lightning
7. Bend fire
8. Super strength
9. Super agility
10. Predict when things will happen, except death
11. Sense trouble
12. Never get sick
13. Venomous
14. Sight of a dragon
15. Gain power from amusement parks and carnivals
16. Control the speed of rides and how long they last

Chapter 10
17. Healing factor

Chapter 11
18. Immunity to bullets

Chapter 12
19. Can change at will if wearing the Augu Ra
20. Can move between the worlds when wearing the Augu Ra

Chapter 13
21. Can fire concussion beams

Chapter 14
22. Bend metal

Chapter 15
23. Bend blood
24. See in the dark
25. Heightened sense of smell

Chapter 16
26. Shrink at will to fit into confined spaces
27. Control gravity so that they can "descend up"
28. Breathe “icy mist” that reveals infra-red sensors
29. Walk on walls and ceilings
30. Fall and land quietly on his wheels

Chapter 18
31. Become “engrossed” by the sight of violence
32. Disintegrate people with his McGuffin

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


List of damage caused by Railrunner and his gang of psychopathic monsters

Chapter 4
1. Shattered the beer bottles being held by his friends Buddy and Sly, injuring their hands
2. Killed a cat
3. Wrecked the ambulance that came in response to Buddy and Sly's injuries
4. Wrecked a bar, killing at least 1 civilian
5. Attacked the bar-owner
6. Attacked the police officers who came in response to the chaos, killing 5 of them

Chapter 5
7. Killed and ate a bull

Chapter 8
8. Attacked his girlfriend Clare

Chapter 9
9. Attacked Detective Black when he jumped in front of Clare to defend her from Railrunner's assault
10. Ran through the carnival, destroying nearly everything in his path, from toppling over small rides to completely obliterating food stands
11. Killed and ate a "fat black and white dairy cow"
12. Attacked and killed a SWAT officer who came in response to the chaos
13. Attacked his girlfriend Clare again
14. Attacked Detective Black again
15. Tried to attack Thunderbark with lightning

Chapter 11
16. Cold-bloodedly murdered a gang of thugs who had accosted Clare but who had swiftly surrendered after seeing Railrunner's were-roller-coaster form
17. Attacked a pair of police officers who had come in response to a report of armed robbery in the area
18. Pushed large trucks out of his way while chasing the abovementioned police officers on the road, presumably causing multiple vehicle collisions

Chapter 13
19. Killed a police officer by biting him in the neck
20. Killed another police officer by deflecting a bullet back into the police officer
21. Caused mass destruction to a group of police officers by firing a “concussion beam”
22. Flattened some more police officers by “flipping their cruisers” and crushing them underneath

Chapter 15
23. Cruelly destroyed a mouse by manipulating the metal in its blood
24. Inflicted a minor injury on Detective Black
25. Slammed a few police offices on to a wall
26. Smashed a few more police officers with his tail
27. Knocked out a police officer by popping open his restraint
28. Attempted to crush a FBI captain by throwing a police car at him

Chapter 16
29. Broke into a museum and stole a piece of jewellery known as the Augu Ra

Chapter 18
30. Threw a dog into a tree, knocking it out (Thunderbark)
31. Destroyed a ferris wheel by climbing onto and then jumping off it with all of twenty thousand pounds of weight
32. Threw an armored truck at a group of police officers, hitting “several squad cars and policemen”
33. Broke off a light post and used it as a bat, breaking bones and smashing cars
34. Stabbed police officers with her “unicorn-like horn” (Merrylegs)
35. Stung people “as if they were a scorpion’s prey” (Static)
36. Disintegrated a row of police officers with his McGuffin
37. Struck down an FBI captain with a lightning bolt (Thunderbark)

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Apr 26, 2013

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


To the eternal memory of Detective Black, the unnamed FBI "Captain", and dozens of police officers who gave their lives fighting off a pack of feral Mary Sues, and, by doing that, saved thousands of innocent lives. I salute you, brave and noble book characters. :cool::coffee:

edit: plurals

my dad fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Apr 26, 2013

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



And here we get to find out that Merrylegs is a unicorn for the first time in the book. We find that out when she's stabbing people with her horn. Maybe there was a reference to her lion-like tail earlier in the book.



So much destruction, so much death. Every single one of team Railrunner is a bastard with no regards of human life whatsoever, and those are the heroes.

And JWKS, you can add the destruction of the ferris wheel on that list, it will come up later.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009


quote:

A fleet of officers stood in rows with shields, and their guns aimed at me. I felt the power from the Augu Ra. I started to absorb it, the necklace began to produce a blinding glow. Then the power that generated from it was released in a major blast that came from the amulet, it hit the row of men, completely disintegrating them.
Augh I can't believe Miranda Leek actually wrote this scene of her heroes slaughtering dozens of innocent people. I can't believe she thought this was a good idea. Did a cop eat her parents or something?

Sigh.

The important thing is that Detective Black, Captain Vicks and Special Agent Captain are all stone cold badasses.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




Isn't the RPG dude's name Vicks? He was the guy who interviewed Claire, wasn't he?
Yes I know she says "bazooka" but it's an RPG in my headfiction. I doubt Miranda even knows the difference anyway.

Uh.
Well, you know...
I get the distinct impression that Miranda was in an abusive relationship when she wrote this book.
I mean everything about Clare's reactions make sense, the way she just has to accept that he can't control himself, the way she has to realize that deep down he cares about her, and so on.
I mean hell, their relationship in this novel basically goes through the whole Cycle of Abuse.
Not to mention the way Miranda keeps going on about Railrunner's drinking.

This book is actually really quite horrible on multiple levels.

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009



Roller coasters, carousel horses, bumper cars: all living, sentient beings. Ferris Wheel? gently caress it, just a thing.

This book is racist against its own fictional races!

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.



quote:

Blood pumped at an abdominal [sic] rate.

Seeing as your heart's in your abdomen, it'll tend to! :v:

quote:

“We need to lose these goons once and for all. They probably have video cameras with them, if they film us as we leave. We will be exposed. By getting rid of them we are safe.”

So your response to the fear that you might be captured on film is to massacre the well-lit police lines and leave behind hundreds of witnesses (along with who knows how many dashboard cameras and distant news crews) instead of laying low until you can discover the portal and sneak in? And that's just leaving aside the fact that Railrunner was caught on the bar's surveillance cameras way back when.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008


JosephWongKS posted:

Chapter 18 - Final Rush

Oh, I get it now. He's running fast because he's Sonic and he needs to kill all these people to get those RADICAL! bonuses.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




What amazes me the most is that Merrylegs had no objections with engaging in wanton slaughter of the police force. She struck me as the token moral party member.
Man, none of the rides have any redeeming qualities at all.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

~*~Fanfiction~*~ posted:

"Guess who's home!"
After a day that never seemed to end, it felt good to finally say those words. "Finally!" I could hear Doris from the kitchen. "We were almost going to start dinner without you!" I made my way to her and give her a quick peck on her cheek. "I'm sorry honey, today has been just crazy. We've had some bizarre incident downtown, and I've been busy all day trying to piece it together." She turned off the stove and gave me a disapproving look. "Oh honey, you know you've got the entire force to do that kind of stuff for you! You should have weeks of vacation by now. Can't you just take one day off?" She was right. It was reckless of me to neglect my family like this, but right now... "I can't just leave my work to my staff. The safety of this city is my re-" - "Your responsibility, I know. It would just be nice if you could relax a little. For my sake."
I opened my mouth, unsure what to say, when I heard a wave of small footsteps coming from the stairs. "Daddy!" - "Hey there, mighty warrior! How was your day?" - "Great!" Terry's face beamed with eagerness. "Dad, do you know what tomorrow is?" I feigned ignorance. "Uhm, your birthday?" - "No, not my birthday!", he giggled. "Tomorrow we're going to the park!"
Doris finished setting the table. "He hasn't stopped talking about it ever since he got home. He can't wait for opening day!" – "Oh really? Why are you so excited?" – "I told you like a billion times, dad! I'm gonna eat cotton candy and get to shoot a gun and ride the ghost train and– Oh, and they have a huuuuuuge roller coaster!"
The roller coaster. Calloway's bar... No. Work's over for today. I can't think about this stuff now. It'd be unfair towards both Doris and Terry. I had to keep my mind on what matters right now. "What, aren't you scared of the roller coaster? Isn't that a little too dangerous?" – "Nuh-uh, dad! I'm nine, I'm not scared of anything! And look, I'm this tall already!" He raised his arm over his head and stood on his toes, trying to keep his balance. "I can ride it, honest!" – "Well, if you say so... Just don't chicken out!" – "Not in a million years!", replied Terry with confidence.
"Alright, boys, time to eat! Dinner's getting cold, and I'm not reheating anything!" – "Yes, sir!", we said in unison, making Terry giggle once more. Doris and I couldn't help but smile as we made our way to the dinner table.
Terry spent the rest of the evening using his toy car as a pretend roller coaster, mimicking the fast and violent motions as he ran up and down the living room. Out of all things, why a roller coaster? It didn't make any sense. Even if it was a disguise, what creature would cause such great destruction, and that in the middle of the city? And why- "Honey, you're not thinking about work again, are you?" Startled, I looked to my left to see Doris leaning on my shoulder. In her eyes I could tell she felt troubled. "Sorry honey, I got distracted. Won't happen again." I could not get wrapped up too much in a case again. It wouldn't be fair to my family. The department might need me, but I can't let this roller coaster freak take over my life too much. Not for my sake. Not even for the city's sake. Just for Doris' and Terry's sake.

Black seems like a family person.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






"I cut down the last Vietnamese guerilla fighter with my trusty machete, in my victory I impregnated the entire village.”

“No way.” Kowalski says. “So let me get this straight; you successfully led a one man assault on a village with nothing but your favorite brand of cigarettes and a machete and had sex with the entire female population before your back-up arrived?”

“To be fair, my back up came while I was repopulating the village, but I made them wait until I was done.” Detective Black states right before taking a sip from his coffee.

“Classic Black.” Kowalski says while shaking his head.

Detective Black brings his coffee back to his lips for another sip when his radio crackles to life.

“Break-Break, this is Dispatch. All available units needed for a disturbance at bar Snooks; corner of 5th and Broadmore, over.”

Black snatches the radio off the diner table and holds it to his face. “Dispatch this is Black. Wilco to Snooks, over and out.”

“Well there goes the idea of a quiet night.” Says the officer. “Also, I think your lingo may be off…”

“I’m a man of action Kowalski. I don’t have time for some dumb vernacular. I only have time to bust some heads in.” Black snatches the radio from the table and leaves a large tip with his phone number for the waitress he’ll probably have sex with tomorrow.


Detective Black effortlessly drifts into a parking spot and coolly steps out of his sports car while lighting one of his favorite cigarettes. In front of him, there was pandemonium. There were bodies lying around and injured policemen being treated by paramedics. Black walks up to one of the injured and as he stoops to his eye level he asks, “So, did you see who did all this?” He blows out a ring of smoke into the officer’s face.

“I have no Idea.” He says. “All I can remember is a squad car coming at me.” The fat police officer held an ice pack to his head to help with the swelling.

Black, nodded his head and then turned to address his colleagues. “Does anyone else involved have a brief description of what our suspect looks like?” Black neither had the time or the patience for this mess. He had a stable full of honeys that were not going to impregnate themselves.

A tall officer waves Black over and briefs him. “Yes, the bar owner was also involved.” He says pointing to a bald man sitting on the steps of the ruined building.

Black heaves a sigh and takes a drag from his favorite cigarette brand cigarette and walks over to Mr. Calloway. “Mr. Calloway, what did you see?” Black demanded firmly, yet pensively.

The bar owner looked exhausted and he took a moment before he replies. “You’re not going to believe this, but it was a roller coaster.”

Black began to laugh but then started to choke on his cigarette. “Sir, have you been drinking?” He asks.

“Heavens no! It was a roller coaster! A mutant roller coaster! It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen! It was red and about seventeen feet tall. It had two cat-like eyes and a nose like a snake’s. Its teeth were like a wolf’s and it could roar like a tiger!” He protested, looking very flabbergasted.

“That’s quite enough Mr. Calloway.” Black says as he rolls his eyes.

“Mr. Calloway persists. Detective, I think it may be on the security camera.” He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it over. “Here’s the tape.”

Black took the tape and excused himself from the bar owner. Stepping into a police van, he hands the tap over to one of the tech guys and they all begin to watch. Black never even notices his favorite cigarette brand cigarette falling from his open mouth. “He is right…”

Mercedes fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Apr 27, 2013

Oblivion4568238
Oct 10, 2012

The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.

College Slice

horriblePencilist posted:

Something quite good.

Please keep this up, the ~*~Fanfiction~*~ is so much better than the real deal. After all, Black's still alive in it.

FakeEdit:

Mercedes posted:

A different perspective.

I like Pencilist's Black better, but yours definitely has that action-movie hero appeal.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

We should buy these for Miranda.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.



When the rusty brown compact pulled up alongside the police tape, Officer Coleman couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" asked his partner, Blake.

"Over there." Coleman pointed at the car. "You said Central wouldn't take our report seriously. Well, there's your proof that they did."

Detective Black exited the car with a fast food coffee in one hand and his Marlboros in the other, awkwardly alternating between trying to sip from his still-too-hot coffee and packing his cigarettes against the side of his forearm. Blake's first impression of the detective was of rumpled insomnia; his hair might have been neatly parted on the left if he had bothered to comb it, his shirt and pants were as rumpled as if he had tried to sleep in them, and the badge he kept on a necklace was flipped the wrong way. "Not many folks know him this far out in the suburbs," Coleman whispered, "but those who do..." Blake followed Coleman's subtle nod and noticed how certain of the other officers seemed to maintain a respectful distance away from the detective, eying him warily whenever they thought he wasn't looking.

Black walked straight over to Coleman and Blake where they were maintaining the line. "Either of you fellas can tell me why I got woken up after midnight?" he asked the pair. "Captain mighta told me on the phone, but I was still mostly asleep at the time."

"Sir. We received reports--" Blake began, but Black interrupted by shoving his coffee into Blake's hands. Giving his pack two more solid smacks, he drew out a smoke, put away the rest, and began to pat himself down, hunting for his lighter. He waved for Blake to continue as he searched. "...We received reports that an unknown assailant attacked a group of paramedics as they were tending to two men who hurt their hands when their glass bottles shattered in their hands. One of the men fled out to the street, but the other man and the two paramedics hid in the bar. The assailant then smashed through the windows and began to destroy the interior. The owner attempted to fend him--it--off, but he just made it angry. The assailant then chased him into the basement and almost tore a steel door out of its frame, but by then Officers Jacobs and Rodney, the first responders, managed to distract its attention back outside the building. In response, the--the thing..." Blake began to stutter. He'd never known Jacobs as more than a coworker, but Rodney had been a member of his weekly board gaming club.

Coleman stepped in with the rest of the information. "That's their squad car over there," he said, pointing to an upsided heap of cars two more officers and a tow truck driver were scratching their heads over, "and Jacobs was thrown over there," he added, pointing to another car on the other end of the parking lot with a broken windshield. "After that, the thing ran off into the woods along the back there. Luckily, the paramedics weren't severely injured and got everyone the first aid they needed. No casualties, although we did find a dead cat in a drainage ditch by the parking lot. Jacobs and half the customers are at St. Francis Hospital now, but the rest are waiting inside for witness statements. Bar owner's in there, too; somehow he escaped without a scratch."

"Guess he's got Jacobs to thank for that," Black observed. "I'll see if I can't get someone to give her a medal. Rodney, too." Finally locating his lighter, Black lit his cigarette and pulled a deep drag out of it. Suddenly remembering his coffee, he leaned forward to retrieve it, breathing smoke into Blake's face. "Sorry about that," Black apologized as he ducked under the police tape and walked to the bar.

After a few moments, Blake turned to his partner. "Wait, how'd he know Jacobs was a she?" he asked.

Coleman only answered with a warning shake of his head.



Detective Black entered the tavern with an appreciative whistle. Not only were two wide windows completely smashed, their steel frames warped from a sudden impact, but the walls beneath them were nearly demolished to the foundation. The interior walls and furniture seemed to be scattered about at random, although paths had been cleared out and intact furniture found for the witnesses to use. The bar owner himself sat on a stool behind his bar, or rather what was left of it; Black was able to appreciate the pure quartz countertop thanks to the deep, wide claw marks that bit straight through the stone and halfway into the wood beneath it. Most of the taps had been smashed and were still leaking onto the ground, mingling with a number of liquor bottles that got too close to the action and gave the whole room a thick alcoholic stench. The owner sat unmoving, staring at a glass of what Black could only guess was water; far too much booze had spilled on the floor for him to be certain.

"Mr. Calloway? Detective Black." Glancing down, Black finally noticed his badge and flipped it the right side out, then extended his hand. Calloway, only registering the policeman after a full two seconds of staring, took the man's hand in what the detective noted was a very wet and timid handshake. "I understand this may be a hard time for you, but I do need to know what happened here tonight."

The overweight owner shook his head sadly. "You'd never believe me."

"You might be surprised," Black replied.

Calloway sighed, then spoke: "A roller coaster did it."

Black got a sudden mental image of a tall, green amusement park attraction and falling down a steep hill into a pair of loop-the-loops. "So you mean, like, a roller coaster train? You're saying one of those things got up off its tracks, scared the living daylights out of a pair of medics, tore down that wall over there, gouged out your bar, tore up a steel door, and tossed a car like it was trying to hit milk bottles at the midway?"

Calloway nodded and sighed once more, and Black scoffed. Internally, however, the detective was furiously correlating everything he'd seen so far. As many years as he'd spent in the paranatural department, living amusement rides were a new one on him, and he'd need to know as much as he could about the new creature as fast as he figure it out. Still, most people didn't expect authority figures to take them seriously after a brush with the supernatural, and defying that expectation usually created more unease and panic than it relieved.

All of a sudden, the bar owner perked up. "I just had a thought--if it's still safe--it should still be safe..." The middle-aged man hopped off his stool and hustled into the kitchen whose door had been forcibly widened by a very stocky figure. Stocky enough to seat two adults side by side? Black wondered. He followed close behind Calloway as the latter rattled off an explanation: "Security cameras...had 'em installed after a couple customers gave me trouble for 'throwing them out too early,' hmph...but if they lasted long enough...if the computer's still intact..." The bar owner led the detective down into a basement full of steel kegs, crates of liquor, stacks of wine, and bottles of beer. At the other end sat what remained of the steel door: the metal was merely hollow, but this time the claw marks were unmistakable. "Aha!" Calloway exclaimed, rushing to the computer. "I've got two angles for you to pick from, officer."

Detective Black waited as Calloway muddled his way through the recording software, and his patience was rewarded when what could only be a red roller coaster train burst in through the wall, destroyed half the furniture, leaped across the bar, and then surged back out the hole it created, following the police responders who briefly appeared on one camera. Black had the bar owner pause the video on the creature's profile and took a good, long look. The monster appeared to have an almost lizard-like facial profile, with disturbingly human-like arms and dozens of legs which all ended in three wheel-tipped fingers with massive metallic claws for spokes.

Black had never known such a thing could even exist, but he knew trouble when he saw it. He turned to Calloway. "I'm going to have to borrow your computer."

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

That was absolutely fantastic. Can Leek use this for her edited version of Twisted?

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






We should invite her to these forums where we'll basically rewrite the entire book for her.

horriblePencilist
Oct 18, 2012

It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Where I Read: Miranda Leek's "Twisted" – Coasterwriting 101: A private literature session for Miranda Leek

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011



I am loving the fanfictions that are arising from this thread. Goes to show just who is the real hero of the book. And I like it because Black is my favorite character, probably because he died before becoming too abhorrent for any to like him.

Well, for birthday I managed to get a book which is basically Twisted! with werewolves, except the whole fantasy world, and much better spelling. It's not out in English, and I hope it won't be. Guy who discovers he's a born werewolf, has bad tempers because of that, loses control and and attacks, mentor type + others reel him in, final confrontation and of course there is this girl and they're so much in love with each other and it turns out that she's a werewolf.

And the advertisement blurb for the book? "If you liked Twilight and the Hunger Games, this is a book for you!" Zero anything that could resemble Battle Royale, ham-handed romance, and the main character is a man? Feels more "Oh poo poo we printed too many copies before we realized this book is poo poo, buy it!"

What would a blurb be for Twisted! ? "Nothing you've seen before!"

Antlerhill
Nov 6, 2012



Smellrose

Iced Cocoa posted:

What would a blurb be for Twisted! ?

"Imaginative in a unique way." -Newsweek

"Unbelievably special." -The Detroit News

"A brilliantly surrealistic and outrageous portrait of the inner workings of the mind of a band of amoral, unbalanced, and psychopathic beings endowed with near infinite power." -The Toronto Star

"Why is this?" -Publishers Weekly

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




Mercedes posted:

We should invite her to these forums where we'll basically rewrite the entire book for her.

I take jokes too far so I might do this. Let's get to the coaster loving first.

...

What?

Oh come on, you know it's coming.

1. This book is written by a lonely teenage girl...
2. ...Who uses words starting with "anthro-"...
3. ...To describe something like Shadowtrack

Coaster loving is all but guaranteed.

PIZZA
Jun 22, 2004


I'm going to wager that the coaster loving will have to be done without waking someone in the next room, in keeping with the "stealthy 20 ton metal object" theme.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Interlude - Dangerous Waters

quote:


He gazed at the enemy; their fighting attempts only fueled his anger. He lashed out with his own weapons, striking the enemy mercilessly. Making them pay for the pain they had caused to this world.

He wanted to destroy them, destroy their leader, obliterate his armies and their leaders. He swore he would make them sorry, make them gush their own blood...

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Apr 27, 2013

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous



This is great. I hope you'll write more Twisted ~fanfics~ eventually.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Chapter 19 - Carousel Witch

quote:


My eyes were still transfixed on the scenery around me. Amusement Park Between looked like a place from the most imaginative mind. It was so beautiful and mysterious at the same time. This place looked like a painting from a talented artist. It was completely different than I had imagined it.


“A place from the most imaginative mind,” writes the author, without actually describing any of it.


quote:


“Don’t be fooled Railrunner, this place is more dangerous than it seems,” said Thunderbark, getting the lay of the land.


If this place is populated by remorseless murderers like yourselves, I can why it’d be dangerous.


quote:



“You know, I pictured Amusement Park Between to be all industrial, I didn’t know it was like this!” I exclaimed.

“Like Thunderbark says, it may look this way, but there are no safe havens.” Merrylegs said softly.

“Ever since Ironwheel came about.” Static grumbled.


“What’s his motif [sic] anyway?” I asked. For a while nobody answered. They all just gave me blank stares. Finally Thunderbark spoke up.


Motif =/= Motive.


quote:


“Railrunner, I’ll tell you when we can find a place to settle down, but first we must see a friend of mine before we do anything. After we visit Moonhoof, we will go to the place that I had in mind.” Thunderbark said starting down the cliff.


“Moonhoof”? Seriously, you are going to go with “Moonhoof”?


quote:


“Who is Moonhoof?” I asked Merrylegs.

“She is the carousel horse that lives in Morbinzin Swamp. Moonhoof is a witch, fortuneteller, medicine woman, and psychic, whatever you wish to call her. Anyway she knows pretty much anything.”


Why do you guys need “fortunetellers” and “psychics” when every one of you can “Predict when things will happen, except death” and “Sense trouble”?


quote:


“Interesting, how old is she?”

“She is nearly a hundred.” Merrylegs replied.

“poo poo, how long are life spans around here?” I said amazed.

“Well, carousel horses can live to be about five hundred. I’m almost sixty five.”

“What about a roller coaster’s?”

Merrylegs chuckled a little. “A roller coaster can live forever if it plays its cards right.”

“Really? How old is Thunderbark?”

“He is an older coaster.” Merrylegs began “Thunderbark is nearly ninety.”

“Dang! So, how old am I? Do human years count?” I smiled.

“No, Railrunner you are not even a week old yet.” Merrylegs said laughing.

“I’m a big baby then?”

“Yup.”


Does that mean this character bio is written from 38 years in the book’s future?



Though Railrunner being a “big baby” does explain a lot about the immaturity and childishness he has demonstrated in the book.


quote:


We ventured deeper into the forest. The further we went the more beautiful it became. Flowers of all colors appeared and so did the strangest. Giant boulders with the same language written on the Augu Ra were here and there. Trees seemed to touch the sky, sheltering us with a lush canopy of leaves.

“Thunderbark,” I said walking up to him. “Why is Amusement Park Between - like forest?”

“You ask a great deal of questions, Railrunner, but Amusement Park Between is like this because we love clean air and a non polluted land. However, we have technology that is far more advanced than any humans [sic] with the perks of being good to the environment. Put it this way, why do you think some of us live so long?” He said finishing and looking at Merrylegs and me. Thunderbark must have heard our conversation.


If you have technology that is far more advanced than any humans, why are you running like scared chickens away from them all the time? And why haven’t you used any of that technology so far?


quote:


After some time, the landscape started to change. It began to look more dismal and swamp-like than a fairy wonderland. Murky water sat everywhere and trees jutted out from the swamp’s surface. Thunderbark stopped at the water’s edge and bent down to sniff it’s [sic] surface. Seconds later, he let out a low rumble and looked to us.

“Its safe, we swim from here.” He said sliding into the water. He floated on top and let Merrylegs and Static hop on his back. Then he paddled out, moving through the water at ease with his head held high and his body swaying like a snakes [sic].


Miranda Leek has serious issues with the apostrophe, doesn’t she?


quote:


I stared down into the water; it brushed against my wheels like the ocean would do to a pair of human feet. The water went barely past them as I waded in. I glanced at Thunderbark; he had stopped to wait on me. “Well, if a roller coaster could run on land and rails, then it can swim,” I said quietly to myself. I leaped, and plunged into the dark water.

I felt the swamp cover me like a blanket. A thin lens went over my eyes as I opened them.


Of course were-roller-coasters have nictitating membranes over their eyes.


quote:


I paused and looked around, the water was clearer than it looked before. I began to swim forward, paddling and moving like I did on the rails. I glided through the water like a seal. Small silver fish went past me as I swam.


Are those carousel-fish? If not, why would there be inferior organic fish in the paradisial Amusement Park Between?


quote:


I could see just as well underwater as I could on land, every detail was present. After about ten minutes I surfaced next to Thunderbark.

“So, what do you think about swimming?” he asked.

“It’s different.” I said trying to match his speed.

“A neat thing about that is, a roller coaster can hold its breath underwater for about thirty minutes.” The white coaster smiled proudly.


And of course they can hold their breath underwater for thirty minutes.


quote:


“Cool, so how much further?”

“We should be getting closer.”

As I traveled, I looked around the swamp. It was becoming apparent that something lived here. Narrow wooden docks cris [sic] crossed over the water and wrapped around trees. Lanterns hung from branches and an empty boat floated alone. Then the water started to get shallow as we came closer to the heart of the marsh. A large island covered in large rocks appeared. The opening to a cave was visible, a torn purple cloth hung over its entrance.

“We’re here.” Thunderbark said as he climbed out of the water and onto the island. We entered the cave quietly. It was a long passageway that led into a large candle lit room. Merrylegs and Static hopped off and stood at my side. I started, but was quickly stopped by Thunderbark. Apparently this was a private matter.

“Wait here until I call for you,” he said disappearing into the room.


So were-roller-coasters can swim but other amusement park rides need boats to travel across water. Croweton was right, this book is racist against its own fictional races.


quote:


+ + +

Thunderbark peeked around the corner of the cave. The room was littered with bookshelves with loads of books. Potions sat on tables and ingredients in wooden cabinets. Glowing candles cast shadows in the poorly lit room. A rectangular table sat on the other end. Candles with wax running down them sat on it along with stray books. Behind the table was a grey carousel horse. She had pale green hair that was longer in the front and got shorter as it went down her spine. Her tail was like that of a normal horse
along with her head. Golden piercings and rings were bestowed on her.


Why is a place with “technology far more advanced than any humans” still using potions and candles and books? Where are the pills and electric lighting and Kindles?


quote:


Thunderbark entered the room quietly. The horse suddenly turned and looked at him. She had light eyes that were almost solid white, but their irises and pupils were still visible.

“Thunderbark! It has been ages!” she exclaimed.

“Hello again Moonhoof. It’s been quite sometime [sic].” He replied smiling.

“Indeed it has. What has been keeping you?”

“I was doing an investigation in the real world.” Thunderbark sighed in fatigue.


As someone earlier in the thread mentioned, shouldn’t Amusement Park Between be the “real world” for these amusement park rides?


quote:


“The real world! None dares tread there! What is it that you came here for, Thunderbark?” She said as her ears pricked forward as the carousel horse rapidly became alert.

Thunderbark took a seat across from Moonhoof’s table. He leaned in and began to whisper under his breath.

“Moonhoof, I need to know where the Temple of The Red is.”

“Thunderbark, I cannot tell you that! You know it was made a law that it was only for the red roller coaster. We swore never to tell its location!”

Thunderbark sighed. “Moonhoof, would you tell me if I show you why I must know?”


Number of sighs this chapter – 2


quote:


“Depends on what you want to put before me.” She sighed.


Number of sighs this chapter - 3


quote:


Thunderbark nodded as he got up and walked to the hall and waved his wheels. Seconds later Railrunner stepped fretfully into the room. Moonhoof then saw him, she looked bewildered. Her mouth opened slightly in shock.

“The red roller coaster - it has returned to us.” She said transfixed while walking towards him. Railrunner quietly stood where he was as he watched Moonhoof circle him. “Hmm, lets see - great posture, muscular arms, powerful chest, wheels are in good condition.”


Is it just me, or just this scene feel slightly skeevy? :gonk:


quote:


She suddenly stopped in front of Railrunner and looked him up and down. “Decent size, but he might want to work on his wits due to some of the irresponsible decisions he has made in the past.”

Railrunner looked at her and responded with a low but slightly threatening growl. Moonhoof took a few steps backward from him.


Yep, “big baby” pretty much describes Railrunner.


quote:


Thunderbark elbowed Railrunner in the ribs.

“Bad attitude,” she said continuing.

“And language.” Thunderbark chuckled to himself.

Moonhoof laughed. “However that can be a good thing, anger comes in handy sometimes. Altogether, a fine young coaster. He will be a good pupil for you to train, Thunderbark.”

“I am honored.” He replied glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

Railrunner responded with a feeble smile.

“Now you both get comfortable, I am preparing to tell you one of Amusement Park Between’s biggest secrets.”

+ + +

I followed Thunderbark’s actions, I didn’t want to do something wrong and look dumb. Moonhoof trotted back behind the table and pulled out a large old book. She sat it upon the table and began to thumb through the yellowed and tattered pages. Her pale and inexplicable eyes scanned every word and illustration. I couldn’t make anything out of it, since the whole thing was written in the strange language the residents here used.

“Ahh.” Moonhoof said sighing. “Here we have it, the location of the Temple of the Red. It is a two days journey from here it sounds like.”


Number of sighs this chapter - 4


quote:


“I thought it would be closer.” Thunderbark interrupted.

“Indeed. But you and your friends are welcome to spend your night here.”

“Thanks.” He sighed in slight discontent.


Number of sighs this chapter – 5


quote:


“Well, as I was saying, it is a two day trip and it is at the most remote part of Amusement Park Between. It is under the large island Magmarr that lies in the middle of the Acterbahnn River.”

“So the temple is under the island? Underwater?”

“Yes.” Moonhoof continued. “The entrance is nearly sixty feet down and is below a great yinkan tree that sits at the water’s edge. You will then swim up a long tunnel and that’s when you should enter the temple.”

“Thank you so much Moonhoof, so where do you want us?” The white coaster smiled genially.

“You can sleep in the abandoned swamp houses. I think you will find them surprisingly comfy.”

“Thanks for everything Moonhoof, we will see you in the morning.”


Wait, what was the point of that switch from Railrunner’s first-person perspective to Thunderbark’s third-person perspective and back to Railrnner’s first-person perspective? The only thing of note that transpired during Thunderbark’s third-person perspective was Moonhoof refusing to divulge the location of “The Temple of the Red”, on which she immediately relented right after seeing Railrunner in the very same chapter. There was no information or secrets hidden from Railrunner but divulged to the reader that would create tension or suspense or anxiety.


quote:


Thunderbark then walked out of the room, as I began to leave, Moonhoof stopped me.

“I never caught your name, whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?”

“It’s Railrunner.” I said smiling a little.

“Railrunner - a true warrior’s name and a true warrior of that which you are.”


Reminiscent of “His eyes turned into that of which they were” in Chapter 13.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


List of Railrunner’s powers

Chapter 4
1. Remotely shatter glass
2. Possesses claws that are 15-inch long and perfectly sharp

Chapter 5
3. Ability to run “faster than a car at top speed”
4. Can “hear anything and everything”
5. Heightened stealth

Chapter 7
6. Bend lightning
7. Bend fire
8. Super strength
9. Super agility
10. Predict when things will happen, except death
11. Sense trouble
12. Never get sick
13. Venomous
14. Sight of a dragon
15. Gain power from amusement parks and carnivals
16. Control the speed of rides and how long they last

Chapter 10
17. Healing factor

Chapter 11
18. Immunity to bullets

Chapter 12
19. Can change at will if wearing the Augu Ra
20. Can move between the worlds when wearing the Augu Ra

Chapter 13
21. Can fire concussion beams

Chapter 14
22. Bend metal

Chapter 15
23. Bend blood
24. See in the dark
25. Heightened sense of smell

Chapter 16
26. Shrink at will to fit into confined spaces
27. Control gravity so that they can "descend up"
28. Breathe “icy mist” that reveals infra-red sensors
29. Walk on walls and ceilings
30. Fall and land quietly on his wheels

Chapter 18
31. Become “engrossed” by the sight of violence
32. Disintegrate people with his McGuffin

Chapter 19
33. Nictitating membranes over his eyes
34. Can hold his breath for more than thirty minutes

crime weed
Nov 9, 2009


Considering their sheer length and mass, I think the fact that they can swim in the first place should be considered a 'power'. I don't see anything that heavy doing anything but sinking straight to the bottom.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.



JosephWongKS posted:

Merrylegs chuckled a little. “A roller coaster can live forever if it plays its cards right.”

“Really? How old is Thunderbark?”

“He is an older coaster.” Merrylegs began “Thunderbark is nearly ninety.”

drat. A possible lifespan between zero and infinity and "old" is still in double digits? Roller coasters must tear each other apart constantly.

quote:

“Well, if a roller coaster could run on land and rails, then it can swim,” I said quietly to myself.

Perfect logic! After all, a regular train runs on land and rails, and it can swim, right?



...Oh.

quote:

Miranda Leek has serious issues with the apostrophe, doesn’t she?

Sadly prevalent.

quote:

Why is a place with “technology far more advanced than any humans” still using potions and candles and books? Where are the pills and electric lighting and Kindles?

You tell me how you're supposed to have a wise Jamaican voodoo lady who lives in a swamp without potions, candles, and books. :colbert:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Bobbin Threadbare posted:

drat. A possible lifespan between zero and infinity and "old" is still in double digits? Roller coasters must tear each other apart constantly.

I wouldn't be surprised. The two were-roller-coasters we've seen so far have been a vicious, murderous lot.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008


Yes, some of those "irresponsible decisions." Like murdering people. Lots of people. On purpose.

Murder is very irresponsible. Especially when you're a destined hero like Railrod here. Don't wanna go murdering people, unless they're people in which case they're less than people and so you can murder a murder of people. People who say otherwise are just sheeple. A murder of sheeple.

Also, bad language. Don't swear, Murderrunner. It's bad form. You should be polite and remember your "thank yous" while slaughtering humans by the dozen. Otherwise, you'll get chastised and you'll turn redder than you already are from the blood of all the people you murdered. But saying "drat?" That'll drat you harder than the murder of scores of people.

I really wish Rodney the Murder King would just keel over and die. Maybe commit suicide, since that's sort of like murdering yourself.

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JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo


Contents page has been updated up to the latest review of Chapter 19.


JosephWongKS posted:

Contents Page

0. Blurb, Acknowledgments and Prologue

1. Review of Chapter 1

2. Review of Chapter 2

3. Review of Chapter 3
3A. Picture of Rodney (Provided by EagerSleeper)
3B. Dramatic reading of Chapter 3 (Performed by Mercedes)

4. Review of Chapter 4
4A. Dramatic reading of Chapter 4 (Performed by Mercedes)

5. Review of Chapter 5
5A. Dramatic reading of Chapter 5 (Performed by Mercedes)
5B. Fanart of Rodney and the bartender (Drawn by EagerSleeper)

6. Review of Chapter 6
6A. Miranda Leek's character bio for Railrunner
6B. Miranda Leek's drawings of Railrunner's retractable wheel-claws (Provided by Iced Cocoa)
6C. Dramatic reading of Chapter 6 (Performed by Mercedes)
6D. Miranda Leek's drawings of an ultrasound image of a roller-coaster fetus (Provided by Geokinesis)

6.5 Interlude between Chapter 6 and Chapter 7

7. Guest review of Chapter 7 (Provided by Mercedes)
7A. Alternative book cover 1 (Provided by my dad the SA goon known as "my dad")
7B. Alternative book cover 2 (Provided by the SA goon known as "my dad")

8. Review of Chapter 8
8A. Miranda Leek's drawing of Railrunner's head (Provided by alcharagia)

9. Guest review of Chapter 9 (Provided by Iced Cocoa)
9A. Miranda Leek's character bio for Thunderbark
9C. Miranda Leek's Deviantart drawing of a roller-coaster-weasel (Provided by Iced Cocoa)
9D. Miranda Leek's character bio for Merrylegs
9E. Miranda Leek's character bio for Static
9F. Dramatic reading of Chapter 9 (Performed by the SA goon known as "my dad")

10. Review of Chapter 10
10A. "About the Author and the Illustrator"
10B. :nms: Miranda Leek's character bio for Shadowtrack (Provided by SSNeoman) :nms:
10C. Picture of an adorable dog to cleanse your mind after seeing the drawing of Shadowtrack (Provided by Dreggon)

11. Review of Chapter 11

12. Guest review of Chapter 12 (Provided by Iced Cocoa)
12A. :nms: Miranda Leek's drawing of Railrunner's crotch (Provided by Geokinesis) :nms:
12B. Fanart of Clare riding on Railrunner (Drawn by Rahonavis)
12C. Fanart of Detective Black attacking Railrunner with a machete (Drawn by Iced Cocoa's friend Coydog)
12D. Fanart of Detective Black (Drawn by SSNeoman)
12E. Another picture of an adorable dog to cleanse your mind after seeing the drawing of Railrunner's crotch (Provided by Dreggon)
12F. Dramatic reading of Chapter 12 (Performed by Mercedes)
12G. Various pictures from Miranda Leek's Deviantart account (Provided by Iced Cocoa)

13. Review of Chapter 13
13A. Miranda Leek's picture and bio of Firetrack (Provided by Iced Cocoa)

14. Review of Chapter 14

15. Review of Chapter 15

16. Review of Chapter 16

17. Review of Chapter 17
17A. Fanfiction of Detective Black and Captain Vicks (Written by SSNeoman)
17B. Analysis of the physics of Railrunner's blood-bending (Written by horriblePencilist)
17C. Analysis of the physics of Railrunner's running speed (Written by horriblePencilist)
17D. Miranda Leek's picture of Railrunner's behind (Provided by attackbunny)
17E. Analysis of the physics of Railrunner's ability to fall from a ceiling and land like a cat (Written by horriblePencilist)
17F. Miranda Leek's essay on hunting in were-roller-coaster society (Provided by Iced Cocoa)
17G. Analysis of the physics of were-roller-coaster hunting (Written by horriblePencilist)

18. Review of Chapter 18
18A. Fanfiction of Detective Black (Written by horriblePencilist)
18B. Fanfiction of Detective Black (Written by Mercedes)
18C. Fanfiction of Detective Black (Written by Bobbin Threadbare)

18.5 Interlude between Chapter 18 and Chapter 19

19. Review of Chapter 19

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