Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Black Raptor

Iced Cocoa posted:

The reluctant and/or redeemable vampire is a common trope.

Cuntpunch posted:

Nanotorches
Nanostone
Nanoblades

Yep, that simple prefix basically helps fix the insane anachronisms.

quote:

“That’s right, I am firing you.” I said snapping my wheels like I would fingers. My allies suddenly drew their swords and slammed them into the guards. The grey soldier stared at me in shock then back to the sword that stuck out of his belly.

“Unfortunately we have to do it in the most gruesome way possible.” "Cutbacks are a bitch, huh?" I smiled as he fell to the dirt ground dead.

quote:

“Sorry, seems you didn't make the cut.” I smiled as he fell to the dirt ground dead.

quote:

“Budget cuts, you know how it is.” I smiled as he fell to the dirt ground dead.

Pththya-lyi posted:

Humbert Humbert?

Iced Cocoa posted:

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Having the villain shout "See you never!" and leap out of the building in the middle of what really ought to have been the final confrontation suddenly makes me think Luke should have shouted "gently caress off, shitlord!" before falling off the catwalk on Cloud City.

Iced Cocoa posted:

You had to remind me of one whom I ran into some time ago. When the whole "anthro airplanes" came up on the "strangest things on DA" thread, I figured I could look into some of the more absurd drawings. I encountered someone's DA account. Saw that the artist claimed to have published seven books already and one of his/her drawings actually made it on board the ISS. I'm ashamed I found the artist again so quickly.

I looked at the preview of one of the books and it's totally bonkers.

Here is the rest of the author's books.

I should stop looking for the freaks as this brings no joy.

Dreggon posted:

ShadowtraaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

quote:

My decision was to look for a pay phone so Captain Vick wouldn’t be able to trace my call.

~Fanfictions~ posted:

Agent Robert "Captain" Vicks arrived on the scene ahead of his colleagues. "This place is going to turn into a warzone!" he growled to himself.
Sliding his SUV to a stop, he ran to the back and opened his trunk, where a plethora of weapons greeted him. He put on a protective vest and Veronica, his trusty RPG.
"Maybe we can send him a proper greeting card this time around, huh Ronnie?" He said to his launcher as he put in a new round into the barrel. This one had "HAPPY TRAILS!" stenciled on it in rainbow-coloured letters. Vicks was very proud of the way it turned out.
He got up and began arming himself with other goodies from the back of his van. All of it was from his personal stash and about half of it was illegal, but his superiors turned a blind eye since their superiors wanted Blood Red Railrunner stopped at, quote unquote, "any cost".
Vicks could hardly blame them, having witnessed first-hand the destructive power of the roller-coaster. The images of all those men and all those tanks, gone in a second. All vaporized by that horrible, searing, blinding light. He could still see their faces, a mix of confusion and horror...
Vicks shook his head. 'Blood Red Railrunner, the Rollercoaster of Destruction'. How absurd. What the gently caress happened to this town?
"Captain! The men are set sir!"
Miles Stewart, a sub-ordinate of his, shook him from his thoughts.
"Good. Prepare yourself. This bastard is dangerous. He killed many good soldiers and friends. Make the bastard pay!" Vicks growled.
"Sir!" The man nodded and returned to his fellow agents. Vicks noted a the MGL the man was carrying. How did they even get to this point? In just 4 short months he went from an FBI agent (with an admitted penchant for gun-slinging) to a vengeful soldier. It's like the entire world went mad, like it wanted a re-enactment of Black Rock.
"Well that's fine. The Captain is ready for that." he thought bitterly.
There was a sudden clunk and portion of Mystic Park's lights turned on.
"He's here. Spread out and find him. Ensure you all have enough AC, AP and shock rounds! If you run out, run away! There is no second chances here!" Vicks commanded.
There was a general chorus of shouts.
"Now c'mon! We'll fly this bastard to the moon, even if we have to bring down this whole loving park!" and with that, Vicks ran into the lit up area, ready to sic Veronica on whatever moved.
He noticed a severed arm nearby, the blood still dripping from where it was attached to the rest of the body. Blood Red claimed yet another victim.
"I thought you would come alone" said a voice that chilled Vicks to his core. "This wasn't part of the agreement."
"I lied." answered Vicks, desperately trying to locate the source of the voice. Despite his immense size, Railrunner proved to be good at stealth, even in a well-lit area like this one.
"Why do you have all those weapons? You know that human weapons are useless, right?" the voice sneered "I have your answer here. Just help me and I will never bother you humans again."
"No deal. You will pay for your crimes. Here and now."
"You still hate me! Still hate me for what I am! You still persecute me because I'm different!" the voice whined. Vicks never understood these out-of-place temper-tantrums, nor did he want to. This...thing...was a psychopath that needed to die.
"NO! I hate you for killing Morgan! I hate you for killing Steven! They all had families! Did you ever consider that while you butchered them!?" Vicks roared.
"Why should I care about a few human lives?" The voice sounded genuinely puzzled, which only angered Vicks even more.
Just then, an anti-material rifle shot ran out. There was a sound of a dull clang and a howl of pain. Vicks focused on the direction of the noise.
"What the gently caress!?" The voice roared
"Anti-Coaster rounds. Made from the same material the Paranaturals used to capture you! We don't need your weapon, we have our own!" Vicks aimed Veronica at the approximate direction of the voice.
"Don't underestimate humanity!" And with that, he fired the round. There as an enormous explosion, and a scream of pain. Vicks didn't stop. He flicked his left arm and made a second RPG round appear from within his sleeve. He ducked behind a nearby fast food stand and began to reload Veronica.
There was a roar and a stream of fire blew across from where he was standing. Vicks fumbled his vest and found a mirror. He used to it glance around the corner, and saw the dreaded rollercoaster.
"So Captain, you like to play with fire!? Well I do too! Let's play!" Railrunner lifted two of its arms and began to form an enormous fireball.
There was another anti-material rifle shot, but this one didn't even faze the beast. Railrunner slammed the orb into the ground, making Vicks scrurry away as the stand he was using for cover was obliterated instantly.
"At last this is interesting. You humans made me so angry, but you were so boring to kill!"
"Before I was working with the school choir," Vicks retorted. "But now I got the whole orchestra out! C'mon Veronica! Sing the Volga to him!"
Vicks lined up his shot and let it fly. The missile accurately flew between two stands and through a hole in a ruined one. It met its mark, causing a howl of pain from the demon.
"This isn't over you gently caress!" Railrunner smashed through a nearby stand.
"I sure hope not" said Vicks as he drew a grenade launcher from his belt.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Being a focus of poetry and romance, I've heard a lot of different metaphors, similes, and analogies regarding the moon. "Vibrant orb" is a new one.

quote:

To the human eye, Railrunner is seen as a monster. Being a living roller coaster - he's worth money in pockets. In one case he is captured by a mysterious man and his team of bounty hunters that are a part of a secret government organization. He is drugged heavily, chained to a steel platform, and starved- all the while the group experiments. A week after he is originally captured, Railrunner awakes in a steel warehouse, unable to move, his bones visible, barely able to speak, and feeling horrible. He silently pleas for mercy, crying from any needle they force past him, injecting a serum that is intended to restrain - feeling like fire through his veins - and he's too weak to fight back.

Rahonavis posted:

This is just the very worst aspect of it but you know what, guys? We did it. We finally found a fictional relationship that is more deeply hosed up in every conceivable way than anything that happens in the entire Twilight series. (And no, I am not forgetting the bit where the werewolf was in love with the protagonist because he was really precognitively in love with her potential unborn children or something.)

attackbunny posted:

ETA: Oh, new page. Here is a drawing of Railrunner eating a giant penis to make you all objectively better people and spare you the torments of perdition.

quote:

And as the liquid splashed down my throat, I was surging with power. My eyes glowed blue and I release my pent up energy. The wave washed over the the land, instantly killing Ironwheel. It transformed every person into a ride. Then suddenly it hit the ocean. It destroyed all the pollution in the ocean. It hit the sky and instantly fixed the ozone layer! It restored the dodo and gave it flight. It then made the worlds combine together into one, becoming a true paradise for all rides.
I suddenly knew how to solve complex 4-dimensional calculus and how to cure cancer. The potion gave me a laboratory, a castle and a coaster-sized Lamborghini. I got my scientists working on a space ship to colonize other planets which were terraformed to be livable by the power of the potion. I didn't need any spaceships because the potion let me fly freely without ever needing to breath. Also it made Shadowtrack preg-NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Letting us start a new Adam and Eve story on another planet.

quote:

“You know, when I very first transformed into the creature that I am, I found out that I could smell fear. Ironwheel, you seem to have a great deal of it lingering from you.” I said calmly. “This is kind of like a student being punished by the principal. However it is not principal with the “pal” it should be the one spelled p-r-i-n-c-p-l-e. So, it is where the “student” is being punished by the principle of justice.”

quote:

“You know, when I very first transformed into the creature that I am, I found out that I could smell fear. Ironwheel, you seem to have a great deal of it lingering from you.” I said calmly. “This is kind of like a student being punished by the principal. However it is not principal with the “pal” it should be the one spelled p-r-i-n-c-p-l-e. So, it is where the “student” is being punished by the principle of justice.”

Miranda Leek posted:

Twisted roller coasters are the coasters of Amusement Park Between, a place where rides go once they are put into storage or destroyed and where no humans are allowed. Roller coasters, like in the real world, are top dogs in Amusement Park Between, and for good reason. They are smart, fast, and extremely vicious when it comes to fighting. However, they are actually very civil and wise when it comes to other matters like daily life.
Other traits include the gift of speech, manipulating the elements, and the ability to shape-shift into a human being when making a trip to the real world. Now, roller coasters very rarely make an alliance with a human, mostly because we see them as monsters and shoot first and ask questions later.

Ever more rare is when the KING of both the roller coasters and Amusement Park Between makes a bondage [the gently caress?] with a human. Here, we see that King Railrunner has befriended a young woman due to her sheltering him and keeping his true form under wraps. These people are known as "Coaster Tamers" because of twisted roller coasters loyalty to that person.

It is a good thing to have one around; if you are in any sort of trouble or need help performing a task the coaster will always lend their assistance. Another is a wild ride among the rails on a coaster that is capable of performing any sort of acrobatic, but don't straight up ask for a ride simply because you need something to do, a twisted will just think you are just using them for selfish reasons. You just have to wait for one to ask you. Also, no not EVER go looking for one to be your friend. You never know if it is good or evil, a roller coaster can kill you easily.

Remember, know your place.

Iced Cocoa posted:

Wait, what pregnancy complications? All I can remember is that the delivery took forty hours. Did I erase something from my memory?

quote:

Time passes by and Angeltrack finally begins to love her unborn baby instead of hating it.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Thanks, mate. The email attached to this account is [redacted]. I suppose I should get back to writing that thing now that I've finished up work on my actual novel (but don't get too excited; there are still a few steps such as "showing it to another human being" between now and publishing it).

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I wasn't kidding when I called what I've been doing here "practice," by the way. I can honestly say that my participation in this thread has transferred some real improvements to the novel I intend to sell.

~Fanfictions~ posted:

Vicks ran towards Mystic Park's main plaza. The plan was simple: get his men into position after finding Railrunner, lure him into an open area and then unleash everything they got.
"If I wasn't fighting a complete moron, luring him into such an obvious trap might've been hard." He smirked. Finally, he saw the fence separating the maze of stalls with the main plaza. The plaza was covered in white bricks which spiraled towards a fountain in the center.
"All teams in position?" He barked into his earpiece.
"Yes sir. We just finished. Get him in front of the statue, we'll be able to get him from every angle" came Elly's voice. Elly was the team's sniper. Extremely accurate and proficient, Elly handled her AM rifle like a true pro.
"Just be careful not to be there yourself. I wired the place with camouflaged explosives," said Smith, the bomb expert. "You might want to make a straight dash to the other end of the plaza, the amount of Semtex is...larger than what I usually use."
"Noted." Vicks leaped over the fence, backflipped and used his free hand to toss three grenades into the stall maze.
"I have also laid out the directional Hedgehog mines to the north and south of the area. Try to stay in cover, because those flechettes have quite the range" continued Smith, the man was calm and unfettered as usual.
"The Geneva Convention would poo poo bricks if they saw your 'Hogs, Smith" came Max' reply.
"I imagine they would have a lot of issues with many of our outings" Vicks could almost see Smith shrugging as he heard his voice.
Vicks resisted the urge to stop running at this comment. Memories of Black Rock swam up from within his subconscious. He shook them away.
"This isn't Black Rock, Smith" came Sophie's voice, as though she were reading his mind.
"It's close enough." replied Andy.
Vicks finally made it to the angel statue. The other side of the park had a large building with many stores and a small food court. He would have to shoot out a window and leap inside for cover. But first, he needed Railrunner to be here. It was the one chance he had to bring him own.
A roar broke up the team's conversation. Railrunner came out of the dust kicked up by Vicks' grenades. He effortlessly swatted aside the metal fence and stepped into the plaza.
Under the moonlight, Vicks saw the full extent of his wounds. The coaster was missing two limbs on his right side, a bloody chunk remained where they previously were. Numerous scrapes lined his body, though many were beginning to heal up due to Railrunner's regeneration. The AM bullet holes still remained, apparently taking longer to heal due to Elly's direct shots.
"How? How are you able to hurt me?" roared Railrunner.
"I took your idea." shouted Vicks in response. He leaned on Veronica as he spoke. "I used bullets and shrapnel made from roller coaster metal. Additionally, the paranormal division upgraded my team's equipment with Anti-Coaster rounds. They made them from the same alloy we used in that net to capture you."
"You think you're so smart. You don't realize what a damned man you truly are. Let me help you, Vicks. You may be an evil son of a bitch, but we can help each other."
Vicks breathed in the night air. He hated to admit, but he felt exhilarated. He was finally back on the field of battle. This is what it felt like. Life on the edge. Bullets and explosions everywhere. He couldn't help but feel truly alive in these moments. A desk job could never compare to this feeling.
He could feel it coming back to him. That feeling of bloodlust he hoped he locked away through therapy and discipline.
"Hey Rodney" Vicks picked up Veronica.
"It's Railrun-"
"Shut up." He looked directly at the beast. Then he smiled "This is a fight to the death. We're warriors on a battlefield. Start acting like one."
"Hah, alright. If that's what you want, fucktard" Railrunner straightened up.
"Good." Vicks put Veronica on his shoulder. "Try to catch up."
He then bolted to the building. Railrunner stood agape.
"You...You loving coward! What was that crap about warriors!?" He recovered and began to chase Vicks once more.
Vicks was halfway to his goal when the earpiece came to life
"You won't have enough time" said Smith.
"Detonate it!" commanded Vicks
"But-"
"Do it!"
Smith gave a sigh.
"I recommend you jump, Captain"
Vicks leaped into the air and took out a pistol from his holster. He deftly shot out a window from the building in front of him, and then braced himself.
There was a loud explosion, and he felt the heat as it propelled him through the broken window and into the office beyond.

---

"Captain! Are you alright? Captain respond!" a plethora of voices rang in Vicks' ear. He shook his head, and wiped some dust from his face.
"I'm fine" He replied, which caused various sounds of elation to deafen his ear once more.
"What about...him?"
"Unknown. We're still waiting for the dust to clear."
Vicks came up to a blown out window and looked out, while using a nearby wall for cover.
A huge dust cloud hung in the center of the plaza.
"I can see something" said Sophie.
Vicks stared as the dust started to clear. Railrunner was lying in a crater, half of his body blown off in the explosion. The constantly-regenerating blood from his stump was well on its way to filling up the crater.
"Good kill?"
Vicks stared. He felt it. It wasn't over. Not by a longshot.
"No. He's still alive!"
"What?"
Railrunner's eyes suddenly opened up. And with that, an enormous white light came from the area. The sudden flash blinded Vicks, causing him to slink behind a wall and rub his eyes.
"Damnit! Status report!"
"It's up! He's...he's healing himself!"
Vicks covered his eyes, and looked outside. Railrunner was standing upright, half of his body still gone, but the bloody stump had cauterized itself. His eyes were completely white. The glow seemed to come from his necklace, which bathed the monster in white tendrils.
"OPEN FIRE" yelled Vicks "Send him to the loving moon!"
A caucophany of gunfire and explosions came from outside the building.
As he reloaded Veronica, Vicks felt himself grinning once more.

quote:

He is truly a monster indeed, feeding on suffering - and sometimes his servants if he feels like it. Ironwheel is a large, black roller coaster whose face is painted to resemble his skull and his metal and leather is torn and scarred from past encounters with reds, who unfortunately lost their match with the leader of the Fallen race. Bloodthirsty is perhaps the best definition to describe him. He vile, ferocious, and will seek to kill anyone or anything that disagrees or goes against him. Ironwheel is one formidable opponent indeed.

A Pinball Wizard posted:

I have created this handy guide to lovely art!