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Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
Thank you, JosephWongKS, for taking us on this :magical: journey.

Shonagon posted:

I'm this close to writing some Black/Railrunner slash fic. I feel sure that Detective Black's hostile attitude is actually rooted in his secret desire to be rendered helpless by a strong rollercoaster's tender wheels.

I am quite sure that the slash fic would end up having higher literary value than the original.

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Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

horriblePencilist posted:

What do you think? Should I make those shorter, or are you okay with some padding? Should I include more formulas, or get straight to the point? Do you even read them at all?

I am okay with the length, please include some formulas as I don't know enough physics to figure out the figures (:rimshot:) on my own, and I read every single one of your updates. :glomp:

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

horriblePencilist posted:

I'm not saying we should rush in and post poo poo like "Why are you so godawful?", I just figured this would be an oppertunity to clear up "misconceptions" we have about the book. We don't have to reference SA or this thread, after all.

On one hand, there are some points that needs to be clarified by the author:

- Is every ride in all carnivals of "the real world" actually murderous monsters? Does that mean people can never take a safe carnival rides at night?
- The pictures suggest that the rollercoasters do procreate. I assume people would get suspicious if a rollercoaster swells up and a tiny one appears months later.
- Rodney is obviously over 20 years old but the latest chapters said that Railrunner is "no more than a week old". Does that mean Rodney is actually fully human before that other rollercoaster converted him or something?

On the other hand, goons will surely ruin the whole thing with fine questions like "How many rollercoasters have you hosed :downswords:", so it seems that these questions will be forever unanswered. :smith:

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
And I recall that it ruins the Tails got Trolled thread as well.

I'm calling dip on the fight between Railrunner and the robbers, by the way. Should be fun to write from the opposite angle.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
I, well, wrote a thing for your relief. Or for you to throw up more at. :shobon:

Bob’s latest victim – a young woman – predictably screamed as he and his gang closed in to her in the alley.

“Get your wallet out now, lady. You don’t want a scar on your pretty face, do you?” Bob said as his knife made little flourishes in the air.

“Hey! Leave her alone!”

Bob heard a man coming from behind. He turned to the man with a fake smile. “So this is your boyfriend, sweetcheeks? Your Prince Charming is coming to rescue you, heh?”

“Rodney, what –”

It is nothing new to Bob. Before she could utter another word, one of his lackeys held his knife against her throat while the other three and Bob circled the man.

“Gentlemen, I am the wrong person you want to deal with.” Bob has heard enough of these empty threats. With a motion of his hand, one of his underlings struck Rodney from the side. As Rodney fell to his knees against the wall, the other two underlings joined in, kicking him squarely in the ribs.

Bob motioned them to stop the assault, and they stepped back, letting Rodney to get back on his feet after a moment. Then Bob made his move.

“Wrong person to deal with? I don’t think so!” The rest of the gang laughed as Bob punched Rodney right in his cheek.

Rodney, however, simply wiped the blood off his face and look at the sky. A cold smirk, befitting the beast within him, appeared on his face. “I am warning you, gentlemen, but you gonna get your rear end kicked in a minute.”

“Oh, so you haven’t had enough?” Carl, Bob’s largest henchman, ran at him, only to find himself pushed to the side by Rodney’s inhuman strength. The last thing he saw before Rodney struck was a crazed grin, complete with a pair of cruel fangs.

“Come on Railrunner!” The woman cheered.

“What, woman? Who the heck is Railrunner?” Bob asked.

“This is me.” Rodney turned back, baring his foul fangs in full.

“That is you? Why in the hell are you called that?” Bob replied out of sheer confusion.

A hollow, machine-like laugh left Rodney’s mouth. “You’re going to see. Just as the moon rises, you will witness my true power and the monster that I really am. My disguise will be uncovered, and you will see the error of your ways.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Bob turned away from Rodney’s frightening visage to the sky. The moon is indeed rising, a ghostly sphere haunting the starless sky.

“This!” Bob turned at Rodney’s roar and found a ghastly sight.

Saliva dripped from the rows of fangs in Rodney’s mouth, now deformed into a draconian snout. His reptilian fingers busily tore off his skins in strips, exposing red, metallic segments underneath. Rows of bumps grew and broke through the skin on his back, revealing themselves as seats, while the tailbone lengthened into more segments.

Bob would have laughed at the absurdity of it all, but he couldn’t.

Jeek fucked around with this message at 04:41 on May 22, 2013

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

JosephWongKS posted:

One of the criteria in the Reading Challenge thread is that it is "for your own betterment". Ask yourself - "Does reading Twisted make me a better person?"

Does "making one do creative writing after not doing so for years" count? :v:

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

JosephWongKS posted:

Still doesn't explain the male coaster, though, if the previous Red has to die before the next Red is born.

He's probably like Joseph in the New Testament - husband to the holy mother, but not actually the father of the saviour.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

Madoushi posted:

Chances that Clare turns out to be Shadowtrack, the strong independant roller-coaster woman who isn't anything without her man? :shepicide:

The "forbidden love" image suggests otherwise. I think that Merryleg will end up being a lover of Railrunner (as well as Clare, of course) and is a strong contender of the above spoiler's subject.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

horriblePencilist posted:

Shouldn't every ride be a Fallen One? I mean, sure, rides get closed, but they're not going to stay that way forever. Eventually, they either get picked back up or get dismantled.

There is a difference between being dismantled in an orderly manner and being treated so badly that it is trashed. Kind of like dying of old age in a hospital and dying in a painful, violent way, I guess.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

Yes. :getin:

I was going to write how gangster's blade would have something to do with Railrunner's capture, but you have written it better than I could hope to do.

We need to collect your posts in a single PDF and upload it somewhere for posterity's sake once the Let's Read is done.

Jeek fucked around with this message at 04:29 on May 14, 2013

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
I read this line:

Miranda Leek posted:

“Most of them did, but they are long gone now.” Thunderbark replied.
as "they survived the initial battle, but we murdered them all afterwards". No contradiction here. :v:

quote:

Are those bones left by amusement park rides? Why do amusement park rides have bones?
Miranda Leek did say that there is flesh and blood under the iron skin, so there you go.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
Oh no Detective Black :ohdear: And I assume the storyline is now split from Miranda's since Railrunner is subdued/dead, right?

As for the story proper: Joseph, I think the reason why "A place from the most imaginative mind" is so utterly boring is that the said "mind" is that of Miranda Leek.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

Dreggon posted:

So she's a FYAD poster?

FYAD posters are more coherent than her though. Proof:

Wayne Gretzky posted:

Agreed whole heartedly. I don't mind, though, because I don't let my personal identity and self worth get tied up in the fate of different forums, so basically, the happenings of the different forums, their growth, their diminishment, etc., are, to me, like the goings-on of some different ant colonies on the sidewalk that I look down on as I stroll around.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
Black is alive and kicking in Park Beyond :D In celebration of that, have an alternate book cover:

Jeek fucked around with this message at 04:35 on May 29, 2013

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

JosephWongKS posted:

Why even bother drinking alcohol if he can’t get drunk?
I do drink homemade infusion because it's delicious and dilute it with water so that I won't get drunk.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I eventually dropped the idea, but for a while I considered giving Railrunner "MS syndrome." Those with MS are always arrogant, self-centered, and worst of all gain and lose powers however the situation demands. MS victims are the most dangerous of enemies the FBI's Paranormal Section face.
Isn't Black on the Paranatural department?

Cuntpunch posted:

Someone should consider getting Ulillillia and Miranda in touch. They seem like they share a lot of common interests.
Don't you dare compare this wretch to the most endearing OCD patient on the internet. :mad:

Jeek fucked around with this message at 01:38 on May 30, 2013

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
You can even say Bobbin has... untwisted this mess of a story and remade a proper one in its place. :downsrim:

quote:

No one knows who first discovered the Park Beyond, or how he reached it... However it happened, he became the first contact.
Dumb question time: If the discoverer of the Park Beyond is unknown, how would the rides know him as the first contact?

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

Cuntpunch posted:

...unreliable narrator author? A new trope for fiction writing!

She was already unreliable when Railrunner was unable to see in the dark upon his first entry to that ancient temple.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
Bobbins, I am anticipating your updates as much as Joseph's. Also, the "rollercoasters feel fear when others are in joy" idea seems somewhat similar to Something Wicked This Way Comes.

JosephWongKS posted:

Note that nobody in the room has any objections, qualms or even the slightest hesitation about Railrunner drinking the blood of his foes.

Hey, a red rollercoaster has done the same in the past so it is obviously okay to do it. :downs:

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

my dad posted:

I'm pretty sure that Miranda would be able to sue him for it if she ever found out. Not very likely, but still a potential headache for Bobbin with no real gain either way.

Is she smart enough to figure that out though? :v:

Joking aside, is it possible to say this is a parody of Miranda's work, change the names around and bypass the copyright issue?

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

GrizzlyCow posted:

I refuse to believe this was written by an actual human being. I am now convinced that you are making this up. Someone would have to be a total sociopath to believe that these miscreants are actually good, moral people. They're all just so horrible. The story is just so bad. I'm offended by the thought that anyone would charge money for this horseshit. It is too cruel a thought.
Combined with the horrible abuse subtext in the story, one must wonder about the kind of life the author leads.

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Jeek
Feb 15, 2012
The second part of the chapter has content from the first part as well - you may want to delete that.

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