Where I Read: Miranda Leek's "Twisted"

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my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

You crazy bastard, I can't believe you're actually doing this. :munch:

# ¿ Feb 25, 2013 21:15

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:08

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Geokinesis posted:

They can breed, they can even have ultrasounds.

Ugh... This is just plain wrong. Tapeworms don't have feet.

Pick posted:

I love how our main character just looks like some dirty rear end in a top hat.

That's an insult to goatse.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2013 00:11

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Well, my accent is too strong for a dramatic reading, so have this instead:

# ¿ Mar 22, 2013 01:07

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

JosephWongKS posted:

You need to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck that is longer than her entire head.

I tried to fit in Clare's neck in there somewhere. The neck is longer than her entire head. :gonk:

# ¿ Mar 22, 2013 09:30

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

JosephWongKS posted:

How about swapping out her head for her neck in that picture?

Something like this?

I had to improvise, since Neckzilla doesn't actually end in the original picture, it goes beyond the bottom edge. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if it ends at all.

edit: If you really want fun with Neckzilla, have this:

my dad fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Mar 22, 2013

# ¿ Mar 22, 2013 13:47

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

SSNeoman posted:

I'm noticing this story reveals some troubling aspects of Miranda's personality, but that's armchair psychology and I won't go there.

You mean the part where her self-insert mistakes her potential Mary Sue love interest anthropomorphic were-rollercoaster for a horse?

edit for future readers: Yes, I did completely misinterpret that scene the first time I read it. :downs:

my dad fucked around with this message at 10:48 on Apr 8, 2013

# ¿ Mar 28, 2013 17:36

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

You know, I actually like the way she draws some characters, or at least I like what they could have been if she wasn't obsessed with were-roller-coasters and super-special-lightning-powers. Look at Thunderbark for a second. Replace the wheels with big sticky toes (like those on tree frogs), replace the seats with large scales or bony plates (like those on a Stegosaurus), keep the segmented body, but remove the empty space between the segments, and do something about the final segment so that it doesn't look like someone flattened it with a cleaver. You get a really bizarre and unique amphibian creature.

Although she really needs to learn to draw joints better. Those look painful.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2013 13:38

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Against my better judgement, have a dramatic reading.

Apologies for my accent.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2013 02:01

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Mercedes posted:

What the gently caress, I can't even see the goddamn picture behind the wall of watermarks

I think that was the point. :v:

You need to click on the first link to see the original.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2013 21:16

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

attackbunny posted:

I'm almost relieved, because if Psychoaster's going to end up with this blatant fuckdoll trophy then that means Clare's well away from the guy who thinks she's a bitch for dumping him after he tried to murder her. Sadly, I have this horrible feeling like Clare's going to get in a stupid catfight with the fuckdoll and get her rear end kicked by Railrunner's new and superior ~~dragon~~ coaster train love interest.

Speculation related to the spoilered stuff: I have this horrible feeling that Clare is the, er, fuckdoll.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2013 21:35

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

NeoAnjou posted:

I think posting something from the book is fine. After all, that is what this thread is about, and, to me at least, shows that we should not be outrageously harsh on her given that this was written by a 17 year old (for some reason I was thinking of it as the product of a lonely 30-something).

However, actually trying to track down anything else about Miranda is kinda creepy. I don't think it is the same person as this archer, but people shouldn't do anything further to find her.

Seconded.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2013 23:43

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

quote:

�My god why!� I said trying to hold back my anger. �I am a monster! I almost killed her! She tried to kill me! I am of roller coaster blood! We can never be together! Never ever again!�

This is a thing of beauty. :allears:

# ¿ Apr 13, 2013 11:17

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Mercedes posted:

Guys, guys. How the gently caress did Clare beat Railrunner and a speeding cop car to the loving amusement park on foot?!

Miranda's Magic

# ¿ Apr 13, 2013 11:48

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Rahonavis posted:

~~Where did I put my Sketchbook...~~ loving A, these characters are hard to draw!

This is exactly what I deserve for trying to give Railrunner more reasonable anatomy. There was no saving Clare.

my dad posted:

Replace the wheels with big sticky toes (like those on tree frogs)(check), ~~replace the seats with large scales or bony plates (like those on a Stegosaurus)~~, keep the segmented body, but remove the empty space between the segments(check), and do something about the final segment so that it doesn't look like someone flattened it with a cleaver(check).

OK, I'll admit it, I was flat-out wrong. Even someone who can draw can't make this werecoaster thing work. I really love your depiction of Clare, though. :allears:

Also, the

in your signature made me laugh way too much.

edit: Mind you, I don't know poo poo about drawing, so it's quite possible that I'm missing a fuckton of things that are wrong with the sketch. I can only judge drawing by the emotion it brings up in me.

my dad fucked around with this message at 09:03 on Apr 15, 2013

# ¿ Apr 15, 2013 08:17

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Didn't he murder the SWAT guy? Or am I remembering that part wrong?

# ¿ Apr 16, 2013 18:04

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

So, despite going against impossible odds, detective Black comes up with an amazing plan that results in the capture of the magical Werecoastermcdickdragonmarysueeequalsmcsquare? And he did stuff like this before? Badass.

Railrunner posted:

Boy I�m tired of you people being arrogant! If you can�t accept me, I can�t accept you!

my dad fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Apr 17, 2013

# ¿ Apr 17, 2013 19:07

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Iced Cocoa posted:

Extra stuff!

I'm... actually impressed. While spergy attention to miniscule detail of a field the author is interested in is an unfortunate norm in books like this, using your knowledge to build a frame for the story in a subtle, non-look-how-smart-I-am way is a good thing.

Rahonavis posted:

I'd missed that before. Detective Black seems to know a lot about were-whatevers. Now unless he is ALSO from Amusement Park Between, I want to know more about what he's been up to before this rollercoaster of hate adventure began...

I've been thinking about this. What are the odds of detective Black being Darkrail?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2013 01:21

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Detective Black, no! :ohdear:

# ¿ Apr 20, 2013 09:49

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

quote:

adhere/follow
invade/capture

Miranda's word choice errors are really weird. They'd make sense if she weren't from an English-speaking country (hell, I made worse on this very forum), but since she's from the US, I'm just... baffled.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2013 16:23

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

attackbunny posted:

Only good things.
Merrylegs, okay, but how the gently caress does a bumper car climb out of anything?

Well, it's a bumpy ride.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2013 20:12

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

To the eternal memory of Detective Black, the unnamed FBI "Captain", and dozens of police officers who gave their lives fighting off a pack of feral Mary Sues, and, by doing that, saved thousands of innocent lives. I salute you, brave and noble book characters. :cool:

edit: plurals

my dad fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Apr 26, 2013

# ¿ Apr 26, 2013 16:51

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

This is great. I hope you'll write more Twisted ~fanfics~ eventually.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2013 00:23

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

horriblePencilist posted:

Achterbahn is roller coaster in german. I bet Miranda can say "I loving love roller coasters" fluently in 25 different languages.

Judging from what we've seen so far, I'd say it's actually "I love loving roller coasters" :gonk:

# ¿ Apr 28, 2013 18:01

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

So, Railrunner is a coaster submariner?

# ¿ Apr 28, 2013 21:34

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Are you planning to have the powder "wear off" at the moment Black gets "slightly injured" during Railrunner's escape from prison?

# ¿ May 1, 2013 18:30

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Iced Cocoa posted:

66 Chapters. We're close to being one third done with it.

Oh for gently caress's sake, really? :ughh:

There's no way she's gonna come up with any sane content for the...

This is going to be amazing. :allears:

# ¿ May 1, 2013 19:43

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

It would be amazing if the dictator turns out to be a dictator by virtue of trying to get rid of the red coasters. Bonus points if the dictator cooperates with "real world" authorities in order to make sure that a maniacal murderer gets brought to justice.

# ¿ May 3, 2013 10:38

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

JosephWongKS posted:

Challenge to the writers and aspiring writers in this thread: Rewrite Bobbin Threadbare's metaphors the way Miranda Leek would have described them.

''Miranda Leek'' posted:

I wouldnt characterize the sent of water as "sweat." Fresh water is more cumbersome and frigid, like a fresh zephyr on a iriguous day. Sigh. Salt water bears more of a dry, dusty sent, the smell of blood baking in a miridian sun. Sigh. Marches bogs and swamps cover the freshwater sent with green rot, the smell of wet folioles and magnetic flowers and putrescent moss, the sent, of life packed close together and competing, for my affection.

"Nothing terribly "sweat" though, Railrunner sighed

~*~Chapter 849: The Sparklening~*~

Murky water can sparkle. Sparkling is more a function of fanfiction than of lucidity; the river in my city is a concrete brown, but it can sparkle like a impotent field sown with the dust of a thousand rollercoasters same as any carcass of water. Sigh. Crystals can be grubby, too, although you dont consistently referr to such when using "crystal" as a word Clare sighed silently, admiring Railrunners curves.

My imagination turned them into that of which they were made.

# ¿ May 5, 2013 10:54

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Holy centipede cows of Fanficcia, what is this thing?

Also, there's a tiny roller coaster train to the right of the wine glass. :stare:

# ¿ May 12, 2013 22:55

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

SSNeoman posted:

Are we sure it's a girl writing these stories?

I mean look at this: Merrylegs, the ~gurl~ is the one who gets wounded and has to have Railrunner save her. Clare needs Railrunner to save her from the muggers/rapists. Railrunner wears a trenchcoat and manages to fight hand to hand without anyone seeing his face or body. He also gets an awesome sword so cool.

Internalized misogyny is a real thing.

If you're a horny teen who is constantly being bombarded with the "strong boys rescue hot girls" message and decide to "write" a "book" with "illustrations" you're likely going to end up with poo poo like this.

# ¿ May 16, 2013 19:03

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Cuntpunch posted:

Why do amusement park rides insist on using human furniture, clothes, etc? Or is Miranda just too lazy to at least be a hack and toss "Coaster" as prefix to everything:
Coasterthrone
Coastercoat
Coasterbed

It would be really stupid, still, but at least slightly open-to-the-imagination.

# ¿ May 17, 2013 21:31

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

attackbunny posted:

Do you think if we asked nicely Miranda would draw us some cute baby pictures of the innocent people Railrunner's murdered?

_{_{Not actually made by Miranda.}}

# ¿ May 18, 2013 14:09

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

horriblePencilist posted:

By the way, Miranda seems to be pretty inconsistent with details. Sometimes Railrunner's eyebrow piercing is missing, other times his tattoo is gone. The only thing that seems to be consistent and the only way to safely confirm Railrunner's identity is through his necklace.

Nope.

Iced Cocoa posted Moonblood a while ago:

# ¿ May 19, 2013 22:59

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Bobbin, I don't know what to say...

You had before you a book that brings the word "bad" to a whole new level. A monstrous, twisted mass of bland plotlines, flat characters, awful grammar and spelling, wish-fulfillment fantasies, and many, many other hallmarks of terrible writing - glued together by the unimaginative mind of a teenage furry. You hacked it apart, untwisted the loops and coils, and weaved them into something new and interesting.
Your "fanfic" genuinely surprised me, got me attached to the characters, made me want to read more and eagerly await new chapters. One day, I'd love to get a chance to read a book you wrote. Thank you for making an internet stranger's day more enjoyable.

# ¿ May 21, 2013 15:32

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Mercedes posted:

You should totally sell your completely original works on Kindle for a dollar. I'd support you .

I'm pretty sure that Miranda would be able to sue him for it if she ever found out. Not very likely, but still a potential headache for Bobbin with no real gain either way.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2013 15:31

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Keep in mind that he's still a squishy human in a land full of super-strong, super-fast, regenerating steel monstrosities. He's gotta Batman it up if he wants any hope of surviving. And don't forget what color a Glock pistol is; with his issues with remembering details, I'm not sure Black will remember that fact in time...

I won't matter much, what with his last name and all. :v:

# ¿ Jun 11, 2013 15:29

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Thomas Covenant?

# ¿ Jun 11, 2013 16:35

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

SSNeoman posted:

What did Thomas Covenant do?

Read The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant if you want to know.
He does eventually realize just how much of a horrible excuse for a human being he is, though, unlike Humbert and Railrunner.