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pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
Jesus Christ this book just holy loving poo poo. Why the gently caress are you going to a gun store when it's about 15 minutes until sunset when you'll suddenly turn into giant roller coaster behemoths?

Where the Hell does Miranda Leek live that there are roaming gangs of 10 (12!) people hanging out in gun store parking lots looking to steal cars? It's like a game of Final Fight or whatever that game with Haggar is.

And every goddamn time Rodney gets into trouble, the moon just happens to be coming up, it's so loving lazy. What an unnecessary and frustrating chapter that made no sense (and only a roller coaster can harm another roller coaster except not really jk guys).

I have to finish reading this thread for completeness' sake, and thank you for the Hell you're putting yourself through, but please, how many more chapters are there? When does the hurting stop?

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pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
In all those drawings of RailRunner, I always see his front car seats as just like peering over to check out what he's up to.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib

Twissted posted:

I tried to adjust the seat belt properly, but it was quite difficult with the real coaster gun tucked away inside my hoodie. I reached for the top clasp to untangle an annoying knot when I heard the safety come off the gun. Thinking too quickly, I moved my hand down to find the safety only for the SUV to ride up on a curb. The jostle was all it took.

It's funny; when you watch people shoot guns in movies or on television, you think you understand the most basic principle of guns is that bullets leave their chamber at an incredible velocity. But this shell travelled like molasses over my grandmother's pancakes as it entered my brain. I thought of her, how kind she was to me, to her neighbours, how she would always make pickles for the county fair and would never even get a third place ribbon. She didn't deserve one, of course, those pickles were awful; but she was my grandmother and I loved her so much that I ate jar after jar, always asking for more.

What happened to me? What happened to the child who loved his grandmother? Now I could barely go a week without murdering a dozen people. Oh God. They all had grandmothers, maybe even their grandmothers made pickles. No time to think anymore though, I'm paralysed and the SUV is stopped on railroad tracks. I can hear the horn. In these last moments, I curse no one but myself.

Twissted posted:

“Thanks.” I replied clicking the phone shut. I stopped at a red light and waited. A police car pulled up beside me. I quickly put on some sunglasses and a baseball cap, that way if the officer looked over he couldn’t know it was me.

The disguise must not have worked as well as I'd thought. The police car turned on its siren and sped out into the intersection. Before I could drive, it had whipped around sideways to block me in. The two officers ran out of the car, guns aimed directly at me. Instinctively, I raised my hands, but forgot that one of them was holding Thunderbark's coaster gun.

Shots rang out and I slumped to the side. I remember the officer reaching in to turn off the ignition. Then I remember nothing.

Twissted posted:

I smiled silently to myself and hung up the phone.

I thought I could feel a large truck rolling by. Looking around, the streets were as deserted as before. It took a few seconds to dawn on me that this was an earthquake.

"In Tennessee?" I sighed. But this must have been a big one. The phone booth toppled over and its glass shattered, showering my body in a thousand tiny cuts. I was only panicked for a moment. I was a roller coaster after all and only a roller coaster can harm another roller coaster. But my wounds weren't healing, the blood was still pouring. I struggled to move, glass shards causing new smaller lacerations on my hands as I used them to prop myself up. I sat there, suddenly out of breath and light-headed when I saw a shadow growing around me on all sides. It took what energy I had left to turn my head to see Ironwheel towering behind me in all his majestic black roller coaster glory.

"My special power is to create earthquakes mother fucker."

pathetic little tramp fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Jun 25, 2013

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib

Holy art style change batman, this doesn't look nearly as bad, it's as if more thought went into it. I think this is what makes me most annoyed - the premise is kind of goofy but it could work. If only all the rules for her world weren't inherently contradictory, if only all her characters weren't scummy assholes who we want to see die, if only if only if only, we could have a respectable story on our hands.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
“I can’t wait!” Shadowtrack laughed.

“Looks like you don’t have to.” I said as we stood with Thunderbark at the edge of the spa, or in other words the portal to home.

Suddenly there was the sound of footsteps at the end of the midway. Steven Seagal had appeared and looked intently at the living amusement park rides before him.

"I'll handle this," Static said, moving towards Seagal. "Hey buddy who do you think you are?"

"I'm just a passerby, I was going to have some fun in this little theme park, but I don't have any cash. Do you take... credit?!" and on that word, Seagal whipped out a credit card that he had cut into a ninja star. He threw it at the dodgem car, slicing him in half.

"Oh Jesus!" Merrylegs shouted. Railrunner, Thunderbark, and Shadowtrack gasped in horror.

"You bastard!" Railrunner yelled. "I'll loving murder you like every other human I carelessly slaughter!"

Seagal pulled out a shotgun and aimed it at Railrunner's head. "That potion you took, it made you immune to damage from rollercoasters, but guess what? That's all you're immune to now." With a blast of the gun, Railrunner's skull was cleft in two. The red coaster howled in pain.

"Oh poo poo! Oh poo poo! Oh poo poo!" Railrunner felt up to the gaping hole in his cranium for a moment, but soon shock took over. He fell to the ground, twitching as Seagal moved over and emptied the remaining shells into Railrunner's corpse.

"And this one's for Captain Black!" Blam! "And this one's for all the cops you melted!" Blam! "And this one's for my loving cat who was just hanging out in his favourite alley behind the bar you piece of poo poo!" Blam!

Thunderbark and Shadowtrack moved to help Railrunner, but it was too late. "Steven, you can stop, he's already dead." The voice had come from the portal. It was Moonhoof. Thunderbark looked up and what colour was in his skin drained away.

Seagal broke the silence. "Thanks for the help with the potion, you know how I love those ancient Chinese secrets. Hey Thunderbark, you should really check her stuff out. She's got something that will do wonders for that bruise."

"What bru..?"

Seagal delivered a blow to Thunderbark that knocked him out. Shadowtrack shrieked and cradled his head.

"Well Steven," Moonhoof started, "I think it's time we go back through the portal where you can rule as king of Amusement Park Between. Maybe now the endless rollercoaster wars will finally stop and we can get running water and electricity installed."

pathetic little tramp fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Jul 2, 2013

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