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By decree of Eggplant Wizard, chatting and other excessive back-and-forth yapping between regulars has been banished from this thread and shall be redirected to #showerbeer on irc.synirc.com - the thread has been reclaimed or posting our favorite bachelor things that we've done. Please keep drunkchat to IRC/G+ (stop posting about it here) and post your favorite bachelor poo poo. Recommended reading, read the original posts and the articles for a brief taste of gold: The bachelor threads: Mk I, The Most Bachelor Thing You've Done? Mk II, Return of the Showerbeer Mk III, You can Always Sell Yourself for Alcohol Mk IV: The color change spreading to your skin can't be good The front page articles: The Most Bachelor Thing You've Done! Return of the Bachelor Goons! Once again, please keep the chit-chat to #showerbeer on irc.synirc.com The decree of resurrection: Eggplant Wizard posted:
Here it is, the bachelor thread just needed a  I'll start this thread on the right track by posting some of my favorite bachelor things to do. -Removed the crisper drawer from my fridge and fit a 30 pack of beer in there. -My desktop organizer is a four-pack beer holder reinforced with a little tape. -Always grab a beer box from the liquor store, they're great for organizing and can even stand in as laundry baskets. -The window fridge. Whenever GWBBQ and I would find food that had been forgotten about, mainly bread or produce, rather than throwing it out, we keep an old softball bat by the door so we can play baseball with it. This has resulted in both of us being sprayed by the juices and pieces of fruits and vegetables, being hit by really stale rolls, and a petrified clementine that I hit 100 feet that's probably still not decaying under some bushes. Went for a hike and had to conceal the beer. Brought cameras and a camera bag. 
Zodijackylite has a new favorite as of 23:35 on Mar 12, 2013 |
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Mar 12, 2013 17:10
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The box for my new computer is now my laundry hamper. I got drunk Friday night, got home Saturday around 8am, slept til 2pm, got up and ordered a pizza, ate half of it and then went back to sleep until seven the next morning. Which was actually 8am because of the time change. It's now Tuesday and my back is still sore from sleeping too much. I regret nothing.
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Mar 12, 2013 18:21
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I use a big box that an aquarium came in as a dinner table. In my bedroom.
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Mar 12, 2013 18:49
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When I run out of clean underpants or socks and don't feel like going all the way downstairs to do laundry, I hand wash them in the bathroom sink the night before and drape them over the back of my computer so the fan dries them completely by morning. Also, the OP is missing a line break between the MkI and MkII threads.
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Mar 12, 2013 22:53
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Look at this chump who still wears underwear. That poo poo is the man's thumb on your back, keeping you down. Just keep your dick and rear end clean and enjoy a great reduction in laundry.
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Mar 12, 2013 23:11
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bunnielab posted:Look at this chump who still wears underwear. That poo poo is the man's thumb on your back, keeping you down. Underwear is pointless when you gots sanitary rear end wipes and shower regularly  FREEBALLIN'
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Mar 12, 2013 23:20
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Zodijackylite posted:Went for a hike and had to conceal the beer. Brought cameras and a camera bag. Why did you have to conceal the beer? You apparently have the empty bottles though, so cheers for not littering.
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Mar 12, 2013 23:25
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Amused to Death posted:Why did you have to conceal the beer? You apparently have the empty bottles though, so cheers for not littering. Glass and alcohol are forbidden, and it's insulated to carry six beers and bring the empties back.
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Mar 12, 2013 23:37
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Zodijackylite posted:Glass and alcohol are forbidden, and it's insulated to carry six beers and bring the empties back. God you people. Clearly in this situation you take plastic cole bottles, empty them 3/4 out and refill with red wine. Stronger then beer and better at room temperature, plus you can drink them out in the open.
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Mar 12, 2013 23:41
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I have two hampers and a garbage can with no liner in my room, to sort my laundry between darks/lights/reds all of my laundry is on the floor, and those three containers are holding all my miscellaneous electronic, recording, and music equipment God Bless the Floordrobe
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Mar 12, 2013 23:43
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I've mostly stopped using cups for anything I can easily just drink straight out of the bottle. Right now there's a nearly empty 4l jug of iced tea I've been chipping away at for a couple days. I just throw the bottle back in the fridge when I go to bed or to work to keep it cold.
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Mar 13, 2013 00:11
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I buy one can of Arizona Strawberry Kiwi every two weeks, because that is how long the old one takes to get completely full of grody old cigarette butts, unsaveable roaches and horked-up lung gum. About those roaches: I have a desk, and it is currently taken over by what I can only describe as the Canvas Lasagna. The bottom layer is an old IBM Thinkpad I keep about as a handy DOS machine, topped by a layer of sketches and notes, then a half-finished canvas, then more sketches and notes, then another canvas, and so on and so forth until it reaches its topmost sprinkling of books, unfinished papercrafts and discarded computer peripherals. It is, I do not stress to say, absolutely unusable as a desk. As such, I tend to use my laptop in bed on a breakfast tray, and roll my joints on whatever book I happened to finish last. Currently, this is the Island of Dr. Moreau. I feel it imbues my weed with animal vigor. Cups are only used for mixed drinks, and this only when the drink in question cannot be made by downing a half-can of coke and filling the rest with liquor. I own approximately 1,958,210 bras. The one I wear every day is the oldest and yellowest of them all, because it and it alone has learned to contour perfectly to the shape of my boobs without either digging its little hooks into my back or stabbing me in the chest with underwire. I keep buying new ones in hope that this perfect knowledge can be learned. The moment I learned I can make cake in the microwave, I lost all hope of ever being beautiful.
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Mar 13, 2013 07:27
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Umbilical Lotus posted:The moment I learned I can make cake in the microwave, I lost all hope of ever being beautiful. That's actually pretty easy.
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Mar 13, 2013 07:37
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I just cannot emphasize enough how much I hate clothing. If I am at home, I am not wearing anything. I know everybody enjoys a no pants party, but for me, there's a trail of laundry leading from the front door to my computer chair. My dog naps in the bigger pile underneath my desk. I'm hardcore. Oh, and I don't bother with my microwave for anything from the fridge or at room temperature. When I was 19 my microwave broke and we didn't replace it for over a year. When I finally got a microwave again, I didn't care anymore. I just eat things at whatever temperature they come now. Umbilical Lotus posted:I own approximately 1,958,210 bras. bunnybean has a new favorite as of 10:27 on May 13, 2013 |
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Mar 13, 2013 10:27
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 The most bachelor thing I've ever done involved inhabiting this room. 1. The computer desk is something I found in a yard sale. The guy selling it found it in a dumpster. It was originally a table from a diner, and had beer stains on it. 2. The glass is full of coffee, because most of my coffee cups were too small to handle the amount I required. 3. The metal bar in the foreground is part of an industrial wire shelving unit. 4. The various cables go to assorted electronic things including non-functioning Power Macs, a Commodore 64, an Apple dot-matrix printer and the TV. They also connected to my main computer, which was just a motherboard and a bunch of other components sitting on the tabletop. 5. The blue thing on the side of my headphones is a bundle of zip ties, as I figured it would be better to spend money on beer than replace my phones. 6. The other wire shelf was also obtained at the same yard sale. Since the monitor was too big I cobbled together a shelf using doors from other pieces of furniture. 7. Not pictured is my bed, which was directly behind my chair. (You may ask, "Were the mattress and box springs just sitting on the floor with no frame?" Yes. Yes they were.) Surprisingly, aside from all that crap, my room was fairly clean. I can handle clutter on shelves, but gross stuff gets taken care of immediately.
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Mar 13, 2013 11:00
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I leave everything in piles on my floor right now. I'm typing this literally shin deep in clothes and such. My left foot is on some weird box thing and I have no clue what it could be. I can't remember owning anything like it.
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Mar 13, 2013 11:03
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In my last apartment I made a nightstand out of a milk crate and a long wooden board that my roommate was throwing away. My mattress was naturally on the floor so the height was perfect.
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Mar 13, 2013 11:11
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Me an a buddy went drinking one night. Came up with my best bad idea ever. Got a 20oz coke. Drank half of it then filled it back up with Crown Royal. Lasted me half the night. All the enjoyment of a mixed drink, but you can stumble around without spilling it. Gotta see if it works with rum next time i got a night to waste.
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Mar 13, 2013 14:14
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Agean90 posted:Me an a buddy went drinking one night. Came up with my best bad idea ever. Got a 20oz coke. Drank half of it then filled it back up with Crown Royal. Lasted me half the night. All the enjoyment of a mixed drink, but you can stumble around without spilling it. Yeah that'll work with rum. Try it with Gin, makes it harder to smell the alcohol for some good ol' public drinking. I think the most bachelor thing I've ever done is try a complete run through of all 5 halo games, on legendary, before halo 4 came out. Seems pretty sad and shut-in like, I know. The twist in the story is that I live with two other guys, opposite a craft beer shop. We started playing at about 5pm on a wednesday, got through halo wars just in time to see the sun come up, a little bit drunk and then got through halo 1 in time for the beer shop to open. about £100 (between the three of us) and three calls to work later, we started on halo 2. Many beers are drunk. By the time the shop is about to close (9pm) we're all totally pissed and totally focused on the games. We pony up another 100ish quid and start avoiding bathroom breaks by pissing out of windows/into bottles, cooking time by ordering takeout and other fairly standard things. I know we finished ODST, but then things took a turn for the melancholy aspect of bachelordom that we all try not to face. Saddened, we turn to movies. One in particular - High Fidelity. By the time our girlfriends arrive to pull us out of our filth (saturday afternoon) they're greeted by the site of us arguing, crying and drinking, the living room covered in spilled beer, upwards of 50 empty bottles ranging from slim belgian beers through wine bottles into cheap liters of spirits, a vlc queue showing we've argued over dpi settings of ripped copies of high fidelity enough to watch it 6-7 times in 24 hours, speakers blasting dubstep so hard the bass has now permanently capped out, laptops displaying the filthiest porn and the inevitable spilled piss from our stacks of convenient toilet substitutes. I hadn't eaten anything other than one can of beans, cold, with my shaking, spasming fingers locked into a rictus around the triggers of controllers since thursday afternoon. I don't remember going through an entire pack of fag papers, but the huge mound of dog ends and ash littering the room attests to the fact that I must have. I'm normally a very tidy person with no real bachelor habits (aside from having the occasional beer in the shower and the delicious combination of smoking, eating and making GBS threads at the same time). It seems I save it all up for concentrated bursts of crazy.
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Mar 13, 2013 14:38
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One time, I went to make soup, but didn't have a can opener. Beat that bitch with the claw of a hammer until it surrendered its gelatinous innards. Of course, owning a hammer probably subtracts some bachelor points.
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Mar 13, 2013 14:40
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Great Horny Toads! posted:One time, I went to make soup, but didn't have a can opener. Beat that bitch with the claw of a hammer until it surrendered its gelatinous innards. Of course, owning a hammer probably subtracts some bachelor points. My first night in this apartment, I had a can of soup, and no way to open it. At all. Period. It was my only food available, and I was broke as poo poo. Be happy for your hammer, it makes you bachelor because it lets you eat soup. Unbachelor is not eating soup. 
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Mar 13, 2013 14:52
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Last night I cooked a pork loin to feed me for the rest of the week. Then I ate it.
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Mar 13, 2013 14:53
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Mounted porch-swing bolts into my walls and hung a camping hammock made of parachute material from them. It is the best bed ever. No back pain and great airflow. Aside from a single bookshelf and dresser left by the previous tenants, my furniture consists solely of storage boxes supporting boards and covered by blankets/sheets. Used a 2nd floor laundry chute at my old place to collect beer bottles/cans for recycling. Out of laundry detergent... well, I have plenty of shampoo left over since I started shaving my head. Modified my previous vehicle's heating system to become an automatic hotboxer... just add  No clean bowls? Cereal + milk in a drinking cup. Finished all three Mass Effect games in a single sitting with the help of stimulants and a few gallons of water, the empty containers thereafter being used in lieu of the bathroom. Dedicated one of the bathrooms at my old place to growing psychedelic mushrooms. Previous to that the room had been dedicated to growing marijuana and making alcohol. Made a rope swing which would let me go from my 2nd floor bedroom to the roof of my garage should I need to in a hurry (see above). Made oil lamps out of beer bottles, tiki torch oil, and shoestrings after my roomates didn't pay the electric bill for about a year. Used them for about six months. Additionally, hooked up an exercise bike to an alternator + car battery to recharge cell phones during this time. Had a bottle rocket/roman candle shootout with friends in another car while going 90mph over the Leo Frigo bridge. Used a halogen lamp to cook food. Used an insulated, unheated garage as a meat locker in the winter. *Refused to rake the lawn until spring - it was a bitch to move wet leaves, but my grass LOVED the mulch and looked wonderful. I was married during this time, but this methodology INFURIATED the wife (who was too lazy to rake herself) so I don't know if it counts. Couch surfed and lived off savings for two years straight. Hung a chain in my bedroom and used it to keep my clothes on hangars. This was for the sole purpose of airing them out after wearing them; if they weren't funky they'd be worn again rather than tossed into the laundry basket. Occasionally I'd use a "worn once" shirt in lieu of a bath towel after a shower. Would occasionally have out-of-town bands crash at my place after shows, which means I'm hosting an after-bar. Filling the bathtub with ice ensured no beer would be left uncooled. Made sure there were plenty of mini garbage cans, double-bagged, in case people drank too much.
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Mar 13, 2013 18:39
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Great Horny Toads! posted:One time, I went to make soup, but didn't have a can opener. Beat that bitch with the claw of a hammer until it surrendered its gelatinous innards. Of course, owning a hammer probably subtracts some bachelor points. The can opener was invented nearly 50 years after the can. The packaging used to suggest using a hammer and chisel, but a good chunk just used a large knife or went your route. Your way is about as bachelor  as it gets without involving explosives.
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Mar 13, 2013 20:39
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One time I dried a shirt in a microwave.
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Mar 13, 2013 20:43
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bunnielab posted:God you people. Clearly in this situation you take plastic cole bottles, empty them 3/4 out and refill with red wine. Stronger then beer and better at room temperature, plus you can drink them out in the open. An empty starbucks venti cup can fit an entire bottle of wine in it. Just sayin.
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Mar 13, 2013 21:29
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:An empty starbucks venti cup can fit an entire bottle of wine in it. Just sayin. Not quite, first you need to slug down ~158ml of the wine (it's a 20oz cup).
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Mar 13, 2013 21:53
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:An empty starbucks venti cup can fit an entire bottle of wine in it. Just sayin. Good point but wine and coke is a decent beverage in addition to its stealth properties.
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Mar 13, 2013 22:05
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I meant the Trenta I think. The gargantuan size.
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Mar 13, 2013 22:21
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We have a mouse problem. I wrist-shot mice into the wall, with a hockey stick, then throw their dead bodies into a vacant pit, next to my apartment. The pit is disgusting and full of liquor bottles/dead animals, but goddamn if I don't think of this song and laugh, every time I see it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNnvR3ms6z4 cname has a new favorite as of 22:37 on Mar 13, 2013 |
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Mar 13, 2013 22:24
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What can you cook in a rice cooker? Correct answers include soup and stew, pie, cake, pasta, and curry. At the time, it was the one cooking implement I owned (who needs a stove?). There is nothing I would not try to make in it.
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Mar 13, 2013 22:30
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nunchi posted:One time I dried a shirt in a microwave. I call this Monday.
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Mar 13, 2013 23:59
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simplefish posted:What can you cook in a rice cooker? Correct answers include soup and stew, pie, cake, pasta, and curry. At the time, it was the one cooking implement I owned (who needs a stove?). There is nothing I would not try to make in it. You can cook pasta in a rice maker? My god 
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Mar 14, 2013 00:47
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quote:I've been known to eat...spaghetti-o's from the cans. You make it sound like there's some other way to eat them 
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Mar 14, 2013 02:34
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Agean90 posted:You can cook pasta in a rice maker? My god The starch poses a slight problem but you can work around it.
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Mar 14, 2013 03:13
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I used to poo poo in a suitcase for lack of plumbing. Background: When I graduated college I decided to up and move to the West Coast (the first of two botched attempts). I lived in an incomplete guest house in the back yard of my friend's girlfriend's dad's house. This was in Redmond, a relatively posh suburb of Seattle. The guest house was a very small A-frame with only about 8 square feet where I could stand up all the way. The bathroom had a working shower and sink, but no toilet. In its place was a camping toilet- essentially a briefcase with some chemicals you could add to it to make your dumps liquify. I did my best to hold back my urge to poop (I peed in the sink) until I went to town to apply for jobs, but eventually I got tired of walking across my landlord's giant, muddy back yard and driving every time I had to go, so I succumbed. So I would hose my poo poo out of a suitcase and act like it was a normal errand. The family would see me, too. The back of the main house was just covered in giant glass panels, and no matter what time I seemed to choose to hose out my shitcase the family would be settled in having a meal together. And they would wave to me every time. edited for chattiness double edited: I bought the wrong razor refill for my razor, so I used a Vise-Grip to just clamp down on the blade. The vise grip imitates the handle, so it's close to the same technique and everything I would use if I hadn't bought the wrong kind. I tried holding the razor, but it sucks. I have very thick hair and big clumsy hands. VVVVVV Christoph has a new favorite as of 16:59 on Mar 14, 2013 |
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Mar 14, 2013 05:02
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Christoph posted:double edited: Why not just hold it between your thumb and index finger? That's how I've been shaving for years. Razors are expensive. I also don't have a bottle opener at home because bottles can be opened with just about any solid object with some sort of an edge. Like a table, a knife, a spoon, lighter fluid containers, another bottle, a can, a hammer (which is really goddamned useful for all sorts of things) and so on. And since I hate ironing, I just hang my shirts on a hanger and spray them with water and let them hang dry.
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Mar 14, 2013 14:43
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I do have to say, an awful lot of the posts in these threads have been "I live in an absolute mess but it's okay because I can still find things!" My room used to be a loving heap until about a week ago where I, on impulse, decided to go through about a year's worth of accumulated things and throw out everything that was unnecessary. I have to say, it's actually had a really good effect on my mental state. Living in a clean room is fantastic if you're feeling depressed about whatever, don't abandon it in pursuit of lazy/bachelorness.
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Mar 14, 2013 15:00
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Tomorrow's pay-day, so last night I went scavenging for dinner in the backs of the cupboards. Found a can of black beans and half a pack of Taco seasoning. What's bachelor is how drat EXCITED I was bout that find.
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Mar 14, 2013 15:07
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Christoph posted:I used to poo poo in a suitcase for lack of plumbing. Page 1 and we're off to a fantastic start. Is it already time for a thread title change? cname has a new favorite as of 17:36 on Mar 14, 2013 |
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Mar 14, 2013 17:32
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