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The tremendous allure of Jerry Seinfeld.
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Mar 17, 2013 19:36
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precision posted:The movie was more or less his idea. Yea I know that's why I'm almost sure it's all some self indulgent joke along the lines of making the most incompressible kids movie ever made. ....or it leaked in from a another reality where his character and George from Seinfield are real because this seems like the kind of poo poo they would come up with. Krypt-OOO-Nite!! fucked around with this message at 21:49 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 19:48
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The advertising for this movie was one of the most painful things I've ever seen, it was just non-stop Jerry Seinfeld dick-sucking by everyone involved. I love Seinfeld but Jesus H Christ.Hanks Lust Cafe posted:Bee Larry King is the strangest scene I have ever watched in an animated film.  The dude must really, really like being in cartoons or something.
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Mar 17, 2013 20:22
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Supercar Gautier posted:The characters regularly use "beeish" as a direct analogue for "jewish". Mentally replace the word "bee" with the word "jew" in as many instances as you can. Yep. "We're all cousins!" 
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Mar 17, 2013 20:31
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Bees are already such an interestingly structured and easy-to-understand species, why go to such great lengths to gently caress it all up just to shoehorn in some terrible movie staples and plot development? Someone needs to make a proper insect movie where the bees and others are done proper. No individual spunky protagonist who sets off on their own to be ~different~ No, gently caress that noise. There is only one individual in the colony and it is all of them. If you must focus on one protagonist, at least acknowledge that they are really an individual with full agency so much as they are a cell or body part of their actual self (the hive).
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Mar 17, 2013 21:15
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I would probably watch Accurate Bees.
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Mar 17, 2013 21:19
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Skwirl posted:Because you asked for it: Adam and Barry as humanoid lovers (not really NWS, but ehh) Holy poo poo AWESOME. God yes, yes! I love what the existence of this image says about humans and human society! Blood for the blood god!!
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Mar 17, 2013 21:19
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It's refreshing to see an acknowledgement that what the animated bug genre was missing was a healthy dose of interspecies romance.
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Mar 17, 2013 21:20
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I'm glad people seem to be enjoying this review, because it's a bit of a niche product. Yet, the more I see of it the stronger my drive is to explain it to other people. It's like... it's important that people know what this is, sort of like how museums highlight their most "what the gently caress?" artifacts of human culture.Vargo posted:And believe it or not, everyone, the Ray Lliota thing DOES have a point. It's a loving bizarre-rear end I'm creating some video clips at the moment because the trial sequences really can't be summarized. Pick fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Mar 17, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 21:23
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nonsensical one, but one nonetheless. That is literally the only thing I know about this film.
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Chapter 8: a place without thought or feeling Bee Larry King is literally called that. Bee Larry King. No finesse, no subtlety. Bee Larry King. I'll prove it:  This sequence is what everyone hates about Dreamworks, and I say that as someone who gives them an awful lot of slack. You really need to see the video. I have provided this. This for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsqcRaCy6K4 Again, Bee Larry King mentions that he is bringing in some "former queens". Huh? Don't you pick a job and have it for life in this bee world? So how can queens be democratically elected (as mentioned previously) and retire? The latter is important because we are told at the beginning of the film that no bee has had a vacation in millions of years. Is retirement not a form of vacation relative to working until you die, which is presented as bee default? quote:BEE LARRY KING: Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? What, so--aww, I don't have to go over why this is stupid, right? Among other things, Ghandi and Jesus were responding to political pressures that we are told BEES DO NOT HAVE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY HAS BEEN PREFECT FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS so is it perfect or isn't it? And why would they be called "Bee Ghandi" or "Bee Jesus"? Wouldn't bees just call them Ghandi and Jesus, with our Ghandi and Jesus being Human Ghandi and Human Jesus? Also, the European honeybee--the honeybee Americans tend to think of as native--was introduced from abroad in the 1600s. Since then, the feral European honeybee has displaced many native bees, and these introduced bees are not effective pollinators of some of the flowers with which native bees co-evolved. But whatever colonialism is fine because Why did Human Larry King agree to do this? And what does he mean by "bee century"? If a bee cultural year is one day, -- woah woah wait Blue says of human Larry King, "Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish." This movie has no respect for anything, even the one thing it seems like it's hypothetically trying to suggest it is sympathetic towards. I couldn't make a movie with such a profound lack of coherent values or themes, not even if I tried. We then cut to Vanessa's house. Patrick is there with some frozen yoghurt to share with her. We then hear Blue's voice from the back room, which surprises a rightfully suspicious Patrick. Naturally, Patrick asks Vanessa what Blue is doing there, to which Vanessa responds that she is going to help Blue sue the human race. This is Patrick's face:  "Whaa?" I have never identified with a character so much. Blue enters the room and is a smarmy dickhead to Patrick. Vanessa then diffuses the tension by... sending Patrick away with the frozen yoghurt he brought for their "frozen yoghurt night". "Awwwww, bye-bye," she says in an obnoxiously saccharine manner. ... I try not to dislike female characters as a rule, but this lady is so unsympathetic and dismissive of Patrick that it makes my gut feel cold. Her behavior comes across as aloof and dishonest. Going in, I thought I'd feel bad for this Vanessa character. I don't. She and Blue might just deserve each other and, not coincidentally, immediate annihilation. The second she enters the back room (where Blue and Adam now are) she says, "Aww, you poor thing  ". Like we are supposed to ignore that she is mackin' on this bee when she is still dating another guy--a guy she just threw out on the street for showing a completely justified level of suspicion towards Blue. Blue, who is, let me make this 100% clear, obviously interested in having sex with Vanessa. BEE SEX WITH A HUMAN VAGINA. RIGHT IN THERE. He proceeds to hit on her like crazy with faces like this on his dumb loving face.  And this?? Anyway, they finish their "lawsuit", which fits into one little envelope, despite being THE BEES OF THE WORLD VERSUS ALL OF HUMANKIND. I am going to take a moment to be super pedantic and point out that most bee species are not social. "Bee" encompasses far more than hive-building honeybees. For example, cuckoo bees (like the cuckoo bird) are kleptoparasites--that is, they lay their eggs in the nests of other species, who then unwittingly raise the cuckoo bee offspring. How does our "perfect" "bee" global network accommodate that?  we shall mail it... to the law! TO COURT! ... Of the United States, natch, because of course the US justice system, as we all know, presides over the Earth. Edit: This actually says "superior court", I just couldn't read it at this tiny size! [Next chapter coming ---] Pick fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Mar 18, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 21:57
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I am so glad I saw this thread on the front page, because I might not have ever known its greatness otherwise. And now that I'm at the end I can't  enough AARRRGGHHH
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Mar 17, 2013 22:18
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It's important to note that Seinfeld in syndication has made Jerry Seinfeld one of the richest entertainers to ever live (close to a billionaire so far), and more so than even other rich actors, he can really choose to do anything or nothing. He chose this.quote:This sequence is what everyone hates about Dreamworks, and I say that as someone who gives them an awful lot of slack. The famous .jpg:  Also, noticed Bee Seinfeld making some physically impossible, "irreverent" facial expression in pretty much every frame of the Bee Larry King sequence, even when he's talking.
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Mar 17, 2013 22:18
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Pick posted:He proceeds to hit on her like crazy with faces like this on his dumb loving face. That's, um, some potent coffee stirrer-cup imagery they've got there.
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Mar 17, 2013 22:26
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Chapter 9: bees in court I feel inclined to mention that Vanessa warns Blue that there could be repercussions. He doesn't give a poo poo. They drop the biggest lawsuit in human history in the mailbox. I wonder if that's how Massachusetts v. EPA was submitted. I bet that one took like three stamps though. It was a big case. Vanessa knows how to do this though because she's a florist and also Blue is a bee.  We cut to the courtroom where Vanessa expresses her nervousness. Blue asks Adam if the opposition can afford "good lawyers". This is supposed to get a laugh, but judging from--well, you'll see. I chose that screenshot because it has the first thing from this film I have even slightly appreciated in a long, long, long time, so long I actually had to pause the movie in shock when I realized I had felt a positive emotion. I like the lawyer's evil car design. Somehow it is subtle, but effective. We see it for like two seconds. Other bees are there in support of Blue, including the aforementioned Adam. Apparently no bee at all gives even the slightest poo poo about the #1 BEE LAW EVER (of BEE LAW) which was "No talking to humans!" This defining plot point has been completely forgotten and disregarded. The skeezy lawyer exits his awesome car and steps on a bug. Blue then gets a chill, and then says he got a chill even though we just saw it happen. Thanks for assuming that we cannot interpret things we see, movie!  The lawyer, voiced by John Goodman who should know better, reminds me a bit of the ballsack judge from Pink Floyd's "The Wall". Anyway, he's doing the Southern gentleman voice, because of course he is. In a movie this bad, it's hard to care about how lazy this caricature is, but it's super loving lazy. He taunts Blue with a package of honey so we know he's evil. As it turns out, Blue is actually suing "the honey industry", sort of like I once sued all tomato growers. (It's actually called "Barry. B. Benson vs. The Honey Industry", so even though he's suing on behalf of the bees, only his name is attached to it.) The judge says to the lawyer, "You're representing the five food companies collectively?" Yeah, apparently. Because all food is channeled through one of five companies on this planet, which at this point I'm ready to acknowledge as taking place in the world of Phoenix Wright. At this point, the judge asks Blue if he's representing "the bees of the world", and he goes... "Bzz! Bzz bz bzzz bzz bzzzz!" There are gasps! Gasps, of course, because at the beginning of this segment, we are told that people worldwide are waiting with bated breath to find out, "once and for all (?)", if bees can talk! Because apparently this was not checked or verified before now, including during the last five minutes when Blue has been sitting at the desk, you know, talking? ... "I'm kidding. Yes, your honor, we're ready to proceed." I too crack wise with judges because let's face it, they've had a long day, so they love the interjection of a little humor. Oh, by the way, everyone just nods mildly when they see that Blue, a bee, can in fact speak. Let's roll! The judge asks for opening statements, something you really have to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQks_Mvb4NA You know how Blue asks if multimillion dollar corporations can hire good lawyers? Well, no, apparently. No they can't. Among other things, the lawyer says that in such a "topsy-turvy world", "I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!" I'll let you sit there and think about whether silk is famed for its elastic properties.  Whatever, Blue is a lovely lawyer too so maybe this is just setting them on equal footing. Seriously, neither of these lines of argument has anything to do with what is happening or the legality of the issue in dispute or even really what the case means to accomplish. What follows is the most incomprehensible series of testimonies I have ever witnessed. It's time for you to see it too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVAsfCbTFMc what on earth First, we see him go after one of the company owners. Did you know Honey Farms owns... HONEYBURTON? And HUNRON? ... and who cares? What would that have to do with anything? Apparently these companies provide beekeepers. Beekeepers! quote:
What in loving christ is he talking about and what is the point he's making? SOMEONE WROTE THIS. There must be a reason these words are in this sequence! WHY? Also we get to chain up bears because obviously those are just dumb animals. This isn't movie logic, but it is Bee Movie logic. Also, that's Vince from Over the Hedge. That's why his style doesn't fit with this film at all. And yet that makes far, far more sense than the part featuring Sting. Blue accuses Sting of cultural appropriation, despite the fact that "sting" is not exclusive to bees, and is in fact a common word with a variety of uses. The only upside to this is that Sting's expressions seem to be completely genuine. That said, I am not sure why he looks like he is cast of freaky Ken-doll plastic.  It feels like I should have a lot to say about this, but how? What's there to say? It's basically free word association at this point. And yet it gets dumber Pick fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Mar 18, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 22:28
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Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?
No.
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Pick posted:It's for casual readers so go do that. It's very accessible and it's information worth knowing. Don't worry, Bee Movie will still be here. In fact, it will exist after you die. I'm really enjoying this thread! Thanks for the effort.
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Mar 17, 2013 23:05
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Pick posted:Anyway, they finish their "lawsuit", which fits into one little envelope, despite being THE BEES OF THE WORLD VERSUS ALL OF HUMANKIND. That says superior court. I don't know anything about how courts work in US, but generally where I'm from civil matters go from superior court -> court of appeal -> supreme court. Soooo they're probably not doing anything wrong there. bub spank fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Mar 18, 2013 |
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Mar 17, 2013 23:13
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The Something Awful Forums is the greatest thing on the internet. Voted 5. This thread is so incredible it is hard to believe it is really happening.
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Mar 17, 2013 23:34
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Roger Ebert's  quote:We learn at the outset of the movie that bees theoretically cannot fly. Unfortunately, in the movie, that applies only to the screenplay.
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Mar 17, 2013 23:43
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I think in a interview Seinfeld came up with the title first and then the rest came out. Its bad because it tries to mash adult or "Seinfeld" like humor with a premis of bees. I think a much stronger premis would be Blue is in the Hive and a neigboring hive starts to out grows its self, so the neighboring Bee's start moving in. Stay with me Stay with me now, These others Bees are different They are africanized...and that start making the other Bees africanized. Oh just immagine all the Bees acting Africonized and aggressive So then Blue has to make the choice to become an africanized be or leave the hive.
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Mar 18, 2013 00:56
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Why Ray Liotta? What does he have to do with this? Hasn't he suffered enough being a Wizard in a Uwe Boll movie? EDIT:Oh, I get it. Bee Movie. B-Movie, B movie star like Ray Liotta. That was great stuff. 
Fargin Icehole fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Mar 18, 2013 |
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Mar 18, 2013 00:56
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max4me posted:I think in a interview Seinfeld came up with the title first and then the rest came out. Sometimes it makes sense that a title would be inspiring enough to build a story around. I refuse to believe that "Bee Movie" could ever be such a title, for anyone, in any circumstance.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:00
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Fargin Icehole posted:Why Ray Liotta? What does he have to with this? Hasn't he suffered enough being a Wizard in a Uwe Boll movie? He is this generations Paul Newman. Or something else.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:00
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Supercar Gautier posted:Sometimes it makes sense that a title would be inspiring enough to build a story around. I refuse to believe that "Bee Movie" could ever be such a title, for anyone, in any circumstance. Scary movie, epic moivie, date movie, etc Honestly I think Seinfeld was just out of his element for a kids movie, he really needed to make the love interest a fellow Bee and come up with a different plot angle
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Mar 18, 2013 01:01
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Supercar Gautier posted:Sometimes it makes sense that a title would be inspiring enough to build a story around. I refuse to believe that "Bee Movie" could ever be such a title, for anyone, in any circumstance. I think it's that he found the "B-movie"/"Bee Movie" wordplay amusing and wanted to see where that went. Mind you that's a terrible, terrible reason to make a movie, but it's at least somewhat understandable if you...no, actually, it's still loving stupid, never mind.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:04
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There is also the fact that Jerry Seinfeld, though no great actor, is so iconic it is hard for him to do anything else and be taken seriously now. Not that you should ever take a comic seriously, but my point stands.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:06
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burf posted:That says superior court. I don't know anything about how courts work in US, but generally where I'm from civil matters go from superior court -> court of appeal -> supreme court. Soooo they're probably not doing anything wrong there. Oh man, you're right! In the interests of not having to resize my images, I'm actually watching the movie at that size and just using "Print Screen" to crop from there. But my vision, she is not so good  .I shall edit that!
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Mar 18, 2013 01:10
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max4me posted:he really needed to make the love interest a fellow Bee and come up with a different plot angle and then, most importantly, not make a dumb movie about bee puns at all It's pretty amazing to me that of all the potentially interesting Bee Facts that could have filled a two hour movie, they basically just made the honey joke over and over again and threw in some miscellaneous bug jokes left over from Antz. It's almost as if they are only familiar with bees from cartoons and didn't know they were a real thing. Imagine Finding Nemo with this level of research. All the fish in the ocean snackin on canned fish food while the clownfish tells jokes (because he's a clownfish get it? we find this unironically funny)
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Mar 18, 2013 01:15
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bagshotrow posted:It's pretty amazing to me that of all the potentially interesting Bee Facts that could have filled a two hour movie, they basically just made the honey joke over and over again and threw in some miscellaneous bug jokes left over from Antz. It's almost as if they are only familiar with bees from cartoons and didn't know they were a real thing. Which amazes me, because I don't remember Antz being this bad. And yet ants and bees are both social Hymenopterans. If Antz were recolored so that all the ants were bees, it would represent bees with more scientific accuracy than Bee Movie. quote:Imagine Finding Nemo with this level of research. All the fish in the ocean snackin on canned fish food while the clownfish tells jokes (because he's a clownfish get it? we find this unironically funny) I am indeed tempted to review Shark Tale.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:32
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You could seriously make an entire movie over a bee wondering whether it should sting an interloper and die, or keep her life and let the hive suffer because of it. Then Bam, at the end she stings a human and does poo poo to it because it's too big. There we go, simple movie about the futility of resistance to authority. Get some crazy good nature shots of flowers, explore relationship to queen and drones.
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Mar 18, 2013 01:35
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make sure you see the updates to chapter 8 okay cool Chapter 9: peak Wright Then this happens. This might just get its own chapter so you can really focus on it. Breathe it. Taste it. touch it, touch it with your mouth the flavors of the film the flow the high the sky high high high https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX_tGNmGEUg  A major studio put this into a film, guys. A team of hundreds worked in tandem and this came out. It looks terrible. His character design is revolting and his facial muscles clearly don't move naturally. It makes no sense for him to be here. The reference is obscure and impenetrable. This is not Dreamworks at its worst--this is film at its worst. Maybe a Lynch film could pull it off, but I think that's reaching. Actually, woah, do you know where this belongs? Deadly Premonition. But okay. Once Liotta finishes his anti- This was how the legal system was portrayed in Bee Movie. ... Oh wait, upon watching a little further, the trial is not over, there's just another intermediate scene. This movie is so bad that I don't even know when major plot points are occurring. Pick fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Mar 18, 2013 |
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Mar 18, 2013 02:40
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Thank you for this thread, which saves Bee Movie from its current status as a loving stupid Tumblr meme circulating right now. "That's GOLD, Jerry. GOLD!"
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Mar 18, 2013 02:53
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MinibarMatchman posted:Thank you for this thread, which saves Bee Movie from its current status as a loving stupid Tumblr meme circulating right now. If this movie ever gets remade--because that is actually a thing that could happen in today's world--I hope Patrick Warburton is still alive and the movie can be re-told from his perspective.
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Mar 18, 2013 02:59
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Pick posted:If this movie ever gets remade--because that is actually a thing that could happen in today's world--I hope Patrick Warburton is still alive and the movie can be re-told from his perspective. The game version is an exclusive Wii-U title wherein you need to hold up the tablet to your face and navigate various honeycombs, courtrooms, and tennis courts while Ray Liotta continues to complain from the controller's built-in speaker.
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Mar 18, 2013 03:04
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The Ray Liotta video has been blocked. I think you're well within your rights to claim fair use considering that you are clearly providing a public service.
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Mar 18, 2013 03:06
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Pick posted:As it turns out, Blue is actually suing "the honey industry", sort of like I once sued all tomato growers. (It's actually called "Barry. B. Benson vs. The Honey Industry", so even though he's suing on behalf of the bees, only his name is attached to it.) The judge says to the lawyer, "You're representing the five food companies collectively?" To be vaguely fair that's not too far off the mark: 
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Mar 18, 2013 03:06
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:The Ray Liotta video has been blocked. I think you're well within your rights to claim fair use considering that you are clearly providing a public service. I am genuinely offended that they are protecting this intellectual content.
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Mar 18, 2013 03:11
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Flip/tilt the video, that always seems to work
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Mar 18, 2013 03:12
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Macaluso posted:Flip/tilt the video, that always seems to work I'm trying to figure out how  . Until then, I re-uploaded it, so they might not catch it for a few minutes.Magic Hate Ball posted:To be vaguely fair that's not too far off the mark: There's still a ton of small-scale honey collection and re-sale. It's unfair to cast any agricul---oh my god, no, stop! It's Spring Break! Don't make me do this! 
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Mar 18, 2013 03:12
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MinibarMatchman posted:The game version is an exclusive Wii-U title wherein you need to hold up the tablet to your face and navigate various honeycombs, courtrooms, and tennis courts while Ray Liotta continues to complain from the controller's built-in speaker. Wasn't one awful Bee movie game enough? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnt5TXqSgE8
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Mar 18, 2013 03:13
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Neo Rasa posted:Wasn't one awful Bee movie game enough? I love that the title of this video just looks like they threw four random words together
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Mar 18, 2013 03:23
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