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Toshimo
Aug 23, 2012

He's outta line...

But he's right!
Some years ago, in a fit of unbridled stupidity, I let my family rope me into their shared phone plan.

It's been nothing but misery and headache since with untold hours of scratching and clawing to actually get bills right and overcharges fixed.

I'd switch in a heartbeat to literally anyone else but, apparently, I hate AT&T marginally less than I hate arguing with my family. I am as shocked and appalled as you are.

Right now, I've got a years old S3 that cannot keep up with my lovely mobile games, never, ever held a charge worth a drat, and is harassing me constantly to put some Samsung crapware on it. Still, it's less offensive than other phones I've had.

I need to find a new big, meaty phone for my big, meaty goonhands. Preferably one that gets reception 5 miles deep into the earth, since that's approximately the location of both my apartment and my job, as far as cell reception is concerned. I'm using a microcel at home, but if Comcast gets flaky, I fall back on whatever "E" service is since 4g can't penetrate my 18" thick stone walls. At work, I'm in the center of a secure government facility in the woods, so a single bar fades in and out, depending on which direction I am facing.

I kind of assumed that I wanted an S5, because despite wishing that Samsung as a whole would be flung into the Sun, I have had better luck with this S3 than I ever had with LG or Motorola. But honestly, I don't follow new phone developments at all and am largely basing that on the fact that I looked at my friend's new S5 and it had a 4 row keyboard instead of 3 rows and that seemed super convenient.

I don't mind paying up-front for the phone if necessary or doing a 2 year whatever, but I loathe the concept of treating a phone like a leased car.

So, how does this whole thing work? Is the S5 a good pick, or is there something better I should be looking at? What are the key words and phrases to lob at my AT&T rep so I don't have to spend hours getting them to actually bill it properly for once? When's a good time to buy? Where should I look for Black Friday/Holiday sales?

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Toshimo
Aug 23, 2012

He's outta line...

But he's right!

smackfu posted:

Also, still amazing to see so much misinformation out there about Next. "They force you to turn in your phone after a year and you get nothing!"

So people make bad decisions to just renew contract because they are scared of Next, instead of exploring options.

It's because Next is marketed for poo poo, every AT&T employee I've every talked to ins-store or online has been garbage at explaining it, and it doesn't make logical sense as a promotion.

I just looked over the explanation on the AT&T site and in this thread, and while I think I get the hang of NEXT, it's incredibly difficult to use it as a comparison tool (mostly because the AT&T pricing structure in general always seems to be based on smoke and mirrors).

For instance, personally, as I understand it:
I'm paying $15/mo right now, I'm hosed if I decide to get a new phone no matter what I do, because I'll lose that rate.

If I go to buy a Moto X2 right now, I can get it:
NEXT: $527 + $15x30months = $977
2yrr contract: $199 + $40 + $40x30 = $1439

So I save almost $500 over 30 months going with NEXT, but that's largely because I get dicked on monthly plan pricing if I don't take NEXT, which feels scummy as hell.

Also, speaking of scummy, apparently they charge activation fees for people who have had accounts since the dawn of time because ~reasons~. gently caress that noise. That looks like the most blatant of money grabs.

Toshimo
Aug 23, 2012

He's outta line...

But he's right!

Duckman2008 posted:

Next is marketed terribly, but otherwise I think you are overreacting.

The $15 plan is a no contract monthly rate. If you sign a contract, yes the non contract rate goes away. I don't get why this is hard to grasp.

Your comparison overall is new plans vs old plans. Given that a customer will save on next vs the older two year plans (as your numbers correctly prove), I'm not sure why you are complaining that you are paying less money.

And upgrade fees are only charged on two year contracts. So if you are doing Next, which is cheaper anyway, you are fine.

I get that ATT does do stupid poo poo and sucks at marketing next, but you are otherwise complaining that ATT lowered rates and made the plans work better.

It used to be that you got a discount by taking the contract. That was the whole point of the contract. You paid less overall, but the company guaranteed their take. It worked out for everybody.

Now they've flipped it. You pay more for a contract. That's nonsensical.

The problem is, that they've taken the old contract rates, RAISED them, and then set the NEXT stuff at a rate higher than the old contract rates.

So, no, they aren't offering you a deal. Everything is more by comparison than it used to be and they've slyly gotten people like you to drink the Kool-Aid that they've somehow done you a favor.

Toshimo
Aug 23, 2012

He's outta line...

But he's right!
Hi, I decided that I want to use my trumpbux to buy my kid brother a new phone because he's dirt floor poor and his iPhone7+ is barely limping along.

He wants to stick with Apple because he has an Apple watch, so I was looking at the iPhone 12.

I should preface this with the following: I don't know anything about iPhones, At&T, or very much about cell phones in general. He's on a family plan with my parents and my parents are a goddamn nightmare.

So, I called At&T and pretended to be my dad to see what the options are and they helpfully let me reset his account passcode and answered a bunch of questions, a thing I'm sure he's going to berate me later for.

So, here's where I'm at:
#1 - They wanted to sell me an iPhone12 at full retail. They offered to have him trade in his 7+ for a $350 credit, and have all this done by a convoluted series of payment plans and statement credits, which all seems like a scummy anti-consuner way to lock people in, and I hate it.

#2 - My family apparently had an old-rear end family plan grandfathered in from before my dad retired from the government, and it's... I think a 20gb plan w/ 3 lines and tethering for $155/mo. The trade-in offer doesn't apply to this plan.

#3 - Their first offer was to upgrade to a no-tethering (how is this even a thing) unlimited plan at $165/mo with auto-pay and paperless billing (neither of which the current plan is eligible for) reducing it to $140.

#4 - When I asked about tethering (because I'm pretty sure my dad and brother both do it infrequently), they said it was an extra $5/line/mo which brings the total to $150, still below current.

#5 - Getting buy-in from my dad to do all these changes and raise the price of the bill and then lower it and then raise it and add a credit because the phone needs to be in installments will be awful for me for years and while I'm ok spending $1000 on this, I'm not looking to have to deal with my dad on it on a regular basis until either the phone is paid off or he dies.

So.... Does this all track? Is the only way to get the phone down to a "normal" price to do the garbage payment plan/trade-in thing? Do I really need to get my dad to do all these account changes to make this work? Is there a better option?

Toshimo
Aug 23, 2012

He's outta line...

But he's right!

smackfu posted:

The issue is that the iPhone 7+ isn’t actually worth $350, it’s worth $140. So yeah, they make you jump through a lot of hoops to get the extra $200. If you don’t care, just buy it from Apple and trade it in to them and you can keep the same plan and get the $140 now.

Honestly, if they were just offering me the $140, I probably would have pulled the trigger. They offered me nothing on the phone, and $70 on the website, and I think even that would have required the plan upgrade. I guess I'll consider just doing the Apple direct thing. $200 to not have to deal with my dumb family poo poo might be worthwhile.

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