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secretly best girl
Mar 27, 2007

I see you choosing that other route. How dare you.

I am the table of contents for this thread/the former thread. Please click me anytime you ever want to ask "has someone wrote about (thing)?" so my time spent maintaining is not in vain.

Once upon a time, it came up (I think in grognards.txt 1.0?) that years back, a group I ran things for bought me a copy of FATAL. People wanted me to write poo poo about it. I was bad at writing poo poo about it BUT we discovered a) I had a very early copy of it, and b) someone else had earlier/later copies of it, and gave those to me. And someday, I'll actually write something about those but I'm really unfunny and it's about 4000 pages between all of them. Can you imagine a less fun thing to do than read 4000 pages of FATAL? I can, but there are very few of them.

In the meantime, though, a lot of you wrote way too much about systems that weren't FATAL. They ranged from mocking terrible things to introducing folks to out of print or obscure games that had busted mechanics but cool story, or vice versa. Sometimes it was just skewering low-hanging fruit that was asking for it, other times it was stuff literally nobody had heard of. A couple of people tried translating things from other countries but those usually fell off really fast. Someone else came up with a 100+ year old German wargame and that was loving awesome.

Just because the title throws people off: Something doesn't have to suck rear end to be mentioned here. Pretty much anything is fair game if you put in the legwork! It also doesn't have to be an RPG itself. We had people write about weird tie-in novels, a TV show based on White Wolf products, or just the metaplot for some system that they thought was hilarious and needed poking fun at.

As I post this, I need to close the old thread and do a little more cleanup, this post may end up being tweaked a bit as we go. That said, thanks to everyone who wrote something before, thanks to the people who are going to keep doing these writeups now, and to the few of you who went above and beyond with hundreds of updates all to yourselves: I love you but sometimes I wanted you to die, I hope you understand.

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secretly best girl
Mar 27, 2007

I see you choosing that other route. How dare you.

Reserving an extra post because gently caress it, you never know if you'll need an extra post in a thread like this. Because we did, before everything went to a wiki. Jesus, you all did so much of this. Did you know the original contents page got so big it seemed to corrupt poo poo every time I updated? That was "great". There's a reason it's all split into subpages now. One or two of them might have to be split further at this rate, I worry.

Asimo
Sep 23, 2007




It's April Fools, let's start this off right. :toot:

:siren:TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE - Introduction!:siren:

There's been a lot of RPGs over the years. A loooot. Many of them were good and have held on in various editions, others were bad and fell through the cracks and rightfully forgotten. Unfortunately, some were pretty great and still went out of gamer perception, simply because they were niche at the time or because they haven't been printed in years. For example... I'm sure everyone here loves anime games! ... Right? ... Well, fine. But I don't mean any of that modern Moe crap. Think older! Way older! As in... clearly based on an anime that started circa 1981...? That's right, it's 1987's Teenagers from Outer Space, by Mike Pondsmith!



That's the first printing (1987... was that really 26 years ago...?), the second printing (1989), and the second edition/revised version (1997) there. While TFOS is not the oldest anime-based RPG in America - Mekton (also from Pondsmith, admittedly...) came out in 1984, and Siembieda's Robotech came out in 1986 - it's certainly and sadly one that most people have forgotten about over the years. Despite this it's from a rather untreaded genre for RPGs, and one of those earlier RPGs that attempted to actually enforce genre conventions even down to the rule level, being a very simple and almost freeform game. It's a niche that wasn't really touched on for years (the only other example I can think of for ages was GURPS IOU, which is another one I'll need to pull off the shelf later...) and even now is still sort of in the realm of experimental indie games. The concept is... pretty much what it says on the title, but if you're also old enough to remember a contemporary 80's cartoon that was also a pretty clear inspiration you've probably got close to the right idea anyway.

Short version: There are teenagers. From space. :ohdear:

Now, before we get too far into this, I should note a few things: I've got my hands on my copy, which is the second printing version there; it's basically identical to the original run aside from the cover. Downside is, this is an actual physical copy and I lack a scanner or even something resembling a decent camera, while the only PDF I could legally find was the latest edition one, which while similar in text content has much different art. It's not necessarily worse; the old versions had some charmingly cartoonish stuff, while the 1997 version had more blatantly ripoff fauxnime stuff (since while anime hadn't quite taken off yet in the US, the DVD market had made it at least a recognizable niche by then), but you're going to have to suffer through that either way. Sorry! :v: I'll give a comparison of the editions later on, but most of it's expanded examples and other such things rather than additional rules. It's not a very big game; the edition I'm reviewing has all of 84 pages, and several of those are taken up by character sheets and similar stuff...

It's also probably important to talk a bit about Pondsmith himself, too. He's the founder and heart of R. Talsorian Games, which has been in operation since basically forever 1982, and while it's never been a major company it's had several high profile releases over the years, most notably Cyberpunk 2013 in 1988 and the later revision Cyberpunk 2020 in 1990, generally considered (alongside Shadowrun) to be the genre-defining system for 90's era cyberpunk roleplaying. Pondsmith's also a major anime fan - an oldschool anime fan, back in the days of crappy VHS fansub bootlegs and horrible dub releases - and once you realize this, the fact CP2020 seems to have more in common with Bubblegum Crisis than Neuromancer really starts to make sense. Well, that and the fact he did a Bubblegum Crisis (and Dragonball Z...) RPG in the late 90's, when RTG did its ill-fated Fuzion system, but that's something for another review.

Also, Mike Pondsmith is one of the few black RPG designers in the industry, leading to depressing and hilarious anecdotes of people at conventions not believing he was actually Mike Pondsmith. :geno: I'm sure someone here can give more detailed accounts about this than me, though...

In any case! With all that exciting historical information out of the way we can move on to the introduction! One important thing to note about the game is its layout; there's the main body of (theoretically) serious text, but also sidebars that give examples of the rules being presented, offer commentary about why things are designed like they are, or just provide sarcastic quips about your poor PCs. The first one we see is also the most useful for this review:

Sidebar posted:

The plot of Teenagers from Outer Space is pretty simple. Aliens from Out There invade our planet. They enroll their kids in our schools; shop in our shopping malls; hang out in our fast food joints. It's sort of like "Leave it to Beaver" crossed with the "Twilight Zone", "The Outer Limits", and "Alien"

We said this was simple. We didn't say it made sense.
And... there you go. That's it. The entirety of the plot. There's no grand secret backstory, no god NPCs*, none of that sort of stuff! Oh, there's some example characters we'll see later on, but that's just for... well, examples. Contrary to what some people like to think, not every game from the 80's was some complicated Runequest or Palladium-esque mess of stats and rules; TFOS is rules-light and proud of it. It uses nothing but d6's and nothing besides some basic addition and subtraction, with little in the way of charts and tables (important to note in 1987, even if the game despairs of "ever publishing an official referee screen"). There's also the obligatory "what is an RPG?" intro, complete with an explanation of what the dungeon master game master storyteller referee does. Specifically, he's the one who paid for the book, and is thus the most important player! :v: Er, wait-

Sidebar posted:

Running a Teenagers game will require skill, determination, and the combined jokebooks of Henny Youngman, Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, and Steve Martin. If you don't happen to have all of this talent in one place, relax. You have this book. Now, don't you feel better?
And from there... er, it goes right into creating a PC! Told you this wasn't a very long book. I'll leave the actual rules for chargen for next time, but since the game helpfully goes into the stats here I may as well explain them - and you'll see why.


  • Smarts - How well you brain at things. "A high Smarts score means you can figure out languages, do Hyperdimensional Calculus. and not fumble tying your shoelaces."
  • Bod - How good you are at physical stuff. Including fighting and shooting and all that, but also athletics or dancing or walking on your hands. "If you have hands, that is."
  • Relationship with Parents - A base stat I can guarantee you have not and will not ever see in another game. Perhaps the most critical thing in the universe, it's explicitly noted that this can go up and down depending on... reasons, though it'll never go above the original roll.
  • Luck - "If you can't figure out what luck is, you have obviously never really been through high school."
  • Driving - Another critically important stat for a (space) teenager. I mean if you didn't have it, your parents would have to drop you off at school...
  • Looks - What people think Charisma is. Critically important for high schoolers.
  • Cool - What Charisma actually is. Even more critically important for high schoolers.
  • Bonk - Somewhat curiously named, but essentially your Hit Points. Not to spoil too much, but TFOS is not exactly a lethal game system... every time you take damage (which can be to one's ego as well as one's flesh) you lose a few points of this, and if you ever hit zero you're out of play for as many turns as points you went under (probably twitching on the floor or crying in a corner), at which point you pop back up at full score. That's it. That's the entire damage mechanic.

As you can see, this isn't exactly the most serious of rule systems. :allears: Although there's one other thing I should warn... this game is incredibly 80's. You don't see it so much just yet, but wait...

*Except your parents. And the principal...

Asimo fucked around with this message at 07:44 on Apr 1, 2013

Bistromatic
Oct 3, 2004

And turn the inner eye
To see its path...


Still got twelve thousand posts to read through in the old thread but good to see it keeps going :v:

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:



Now all we need is to recreate grognards.txt, and the world will be complete. Here's to another sixteen thousand posts of entertaining RPG reviews and such.

secretly best girl
Mar 27, 2007

I see you choosing that other route. How dare you.

Anticheese posted:

Now all we need is to recreate grognards.txt, and the world will be complete. Here's to another sixteen thousand posts of entertaining RPG reviews and such.

Look who doesn't check before posting.

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

The last thread had so much cool stuff in it that I couldn't possibly keep up. Here's to a few thousand more pages of weird crap!

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:



It turns out to be an april fools joke, and is shut down tomorrow.

WhitemageofDOOM
Sep 13, 2010

... It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit.

Teenagers from outer space :allears:

JamieTheD
Nov 4, 2011

LPer, Reviewer, Mad Welshman

(Yes, that's a self portrait)

TSR's Last Gasp: Alternity (Introduction)


The first sign the artwork is a labour of love. Is the game as cool? Mostly.

In the dying days of TSR, some bright sparks got together and said “Okay, we largely own fantasy roleplaying now, and we tried our hand at western (Boot Hill) and post-apocalyptic (Gamma World). Let's try modern day/sci-fi!”

And so, Alternity was born. Cleaving to the usual “PHB, GMG, Setting Books, Splatbooks” model, Alternity actually had a system that wasn't a direct ripoff of AD&D's mechanics. No, instead it was altered to be slightly less confusing in combat, and slightly (slightly) less confusing in general. In a very real sense, this was proto D20 as we know it today.

Unfortunately, that, and the fact that roleplaying was going through one of its regular slumps, meant that Alternity, as a line, was killed before it could grow to the massive proportions it deserved. Because it's genuinely not a bad system. Flawed? Yes. But actively bad? Hell no! Well, except in one, maybe two areas that definitively and objectively suck. But they're mostly optional rules anyways...

It spawned two unique settings, Star*Drive and Dark Matter, and also resurrected the shambling corpse of Gamma World under its new system. I'll be exploring the core books, and then I will be exploring Dark Matter and Star*Drive, the two (interesting) settings for the game. And you know what else it had? Look at the covers for the core books. You know who that is? RK Post. For reference, here's an old gallery of his. He is awesome, and his work definitely lights up many of the books this system has.

See you next time, for the first actual update!

Tasoth
Dec 12, 2011


Alternity's art being awesome doesn't stop there. Both of the alien guides have covers by Brom and the actual illustrations are top notch. God do I love those books.

JamieTheD
Nov 4, 2011

LPer, Reviewer, Mad Welshman

(Yes, that's a self portrait)

Tasoth posted:

Alternity's art being awesome doesn't stop there. Both of the alien guides have covers by Brom and the actual illustrations are top notch. God do I love those books.

Then get in, dammit!

But seriously, the two main artists being RK Post and Brom was an absolutely awesome thing, and it definitely makes the books pop out (even if the colour scheme and layout of the book is a bit... "erm", at first). Sadly, Dark Matter's art is not quite as awesome, but still definitely has its moments (the Dark Matter artists are not as famous as the core and Star*Drive artists, who are Brom, RK Post, and Todd Lockwood)

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.




I'd jump in on that Alternity if I weren't maybe playing in a Sunday night game in meatspace.

Tasoth
Dec 12, 2011


JamieTheD posted:

Then get in, dammit!

But seriously, the two main artists being RK Post and Brom was an absolutely awesome thing, and it definitely makes the books pop out (even if the colour scheme and layout of the book is a bit... "erm", at first). Sadly, Dark Matter's art is not quite as awesome, but still definitely has its moments (the Dark Matter artists are not as famous as the core and Star*Drive artists, who are Brom, RK Post, and Todd Lockwood)

I have no clue how to the mechanics of the system work. I bought those books when I was twelvish and my eyes just kind of glazed over during the rules.

So, I found a thing. Seems like it might be worthy of the thread.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Well now that the new thread's up I'll ask the thread what I can review next(of the books I have to review).


Hengeyokai: Shapeshifters of the East. Part of the "Year of the Lotus", where White Wolf tried to introduce Asian counterparts of all of their game lines. It's mostly hilariously racist junk with the occasional good idea that would be salvaged later by a different writing team in a different book. It was reviewed before but got dropped partway through.


Apocalypse I referenced this one a lot in my TB:COG review because the Tribe Falls scenarios are pretty bad. but the rest of the book varies from merely Okay to pretty good, if occasionally hard to parse.


This may be more ambitious, but I've got a collection of the various Werewolf Breed Books, and I could review those as well... Yes, Including Nuwisha Pants?

Adnachiel
Oct 21, 2012


Tasoth posted:

So, I found a thing. Seems like it might be worthy of the thread.

One of the people who made that (Ben Lehman) is the guy who made Bliss Stage. He gives just as much information about it on his personal site as that site does.

Fossilized Rappy
Dec 26, 2012


Tasoth posted:

Alternity's art being awesome doesn't stop there. Both of the alien guides have covers by Brom and the actual illustrations are top notch. God do I love those books.
The best art for any Alternity book has been and always will be Facepalm Priest from Dark*Matter.

Meanwhile, it's time to do the opposite of April Fool's day tradition and actually write up what I said I would enter the new thread with, plowing straight through the first two chapters of Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age. Excelsior!




Introduction and Chapter 1: A Brief History of Nazi-Punching
What is Mutants and Masterminds?
Assuming you don't already know about it somehow, Mutants and Masterminds is a d20 system game focused on two things: superheroes, and saying :frogout: to the sacred cow of character classes. Instead, you buy your ability scores, skills, feats, and powers with a pool of points alloted to you based on the game's "Power Level". Like Dungeons and Dragons, d20 Modern, and Pathfinder, it has a System Reference Document for all your basic rules needs.


That face. :stonk:
What is "The Golden Age"?
Chapter 1 of Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age handily decides to lay down for us the history of the Golden Age, thus explaining what it is to those who are not comic book nerds. The Golden Age is the era of comic books from the first costumed hero in the early 1930s up to an undefined time soon after the end of World War II and the beginning of the Cold War. This is the time where now-famous superheroes such as Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Captain America, and Namor the Speedo-Man Sub-Mariner. The Golden Age is stereotypically known for its colorful red-white-n'-blue costumes, jingoism, awkward pre-Civil Rights social interactions, and lots of heroes punching Nazis in the face. The invention of the Comics Code Authority and the dawning of the Atomic Age lead into the next comic book age, known as the Silver Age, which lead into the Bronze Age, and hten into the Iron Age/Dark Age that we now have our comic books set in. Yes, comic book ages are silly.



Chapter 2: The Golden Age World
Just as the first chapter was an overview of the history of comic books during the Golden Age, chapter 2 is an overview of the rest of the world during the Golden Age.

A Brief Overview of America at War
If you didn't know, there's an obscure event during the Golden Age called "World War II". This first segment covers both that and the Korean War in broad strokes. There is a game-relevant sidebar entitled "They Saved Hitler's Brain!", however, discussing the various ways you could allow the players to have repeated cases of Hitler-punching even after the war is over.


Not quite the World's Finest, but they'll do.
The Golden Age and Real-World History
It all started with the Great Depression. ...Well, this chapter does, at least, beginning with an overview of how the Great Depression lead into the rise of American Nazis and the Cosa Nostra gangsters, as well as the beginning of World War II. Like how America won the war (and those other guys too I guess).

"Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age posted:

The combined Axis powers were simply no match for America’s industrial might, which simultaneously kept the Soviet Union equipped, the United Kingdom fed, and buried Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan beneath a rain of steel.
:patriot:

What exactly does all of this mean for your supers game, though? Golden Age has the answers for you. The author is quick to note that you could do a Film Noir-style campaign focused around facing off against La Cosa Nostra, a redemption story of an individual who turned to villainy during the Great Depression seeking to become a hero, old villains becoming new allies against the greater threat of the Axis powers, and having Axis supervillains do over-the-top Golden Age things like breaking a famous Hollywood starlet's legs because mwuahaha evil.

Perhaps more interesting than Nazi Punching 101 might be the statements on what to do after WWII ends and the Golden Age begins to wane. The simplest suggestion given is to just replace Nazis with the Red Army as villains, though this might bring up obvious questions about WWII Soviet supers suddenly being treated as the villains. There are also some more interesting suggestions, such as having the enemies present be the extraterrestrials that ushered in the Silver Age of Comics or even McCarthyite finger-poiners hassling the heroes and making their life hell.


Life in the Golden Age
Ignoring minor notes such as fashion trends of the time, the biggest elephant in the room of talking about how life was in the time of the Golden Age of Comics is that people were often even more bigoted assholes than they are today. The chaptr proudly tells us that the correct way of playing with this fire is that the truth is in the middle:

"Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age posted:

The key, as always, is balance. Don’t rant on the Nisei internment camps so much that you forget to include the 442nd Regimental Combat Team. As bad as segregation was, don’t forget to celebrate Joe Louis and Jackie Robinson. It was an age that gave us both Charlie and Joe McCarthy–don’t let either extreme dominate your stories. Most of all, don’t lose sight of the fact that this era–like all others–had its good times and bad times, its heroes and its villains. Even in a roleplaying game about bulletproof super-mutants who can fly, a world that is painted as all good or all bad pushes the bounds of credibility too far
On the other hand, the book also discusses just what kind of bigotry you can inflict soon after, and then turns around a third time by suggesting to probably just ignore it:

"Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age posted:

It’s vital for the Gamemaster to remember that roleplaying games are supposed to be fun, not long, nasty historical polemics. Though it may be anachronistic, it’s often better to discard elements of the era’s bigotry than to irritate and offend the players.
This could probably be far more easily summed up by just having a single paragraph about how it is up to the GM and the players on how much to focus on prejudice, but congratulations on having three conflicting paragraphs instead, Golden Age.

The rest of the segment is just a look at popular radio and television entertainment, technology, and economics of the time. There's even a table of difficulty checks for obtaining rationed goods if you are that :spergin: about the topic.


Heroes in Uniform
The final piece of chapter 2 is a brief statement on having an action military campaign set in the Golden Age. This is basically Blackhawks or (for a more modern example) GI Joe: the Campaign. You have above-average but below-superpowered heroes who engage both in action hero-style combat and help rebuild the lives of the people affected by war. There are also statements on crossing such a campaign over into supers territory, such as having a large team of action heroes fight a single war-time supervillain against the odds, introduce Weird Wars-style occult warfare, or the like.

---------------------------------------

Next time: Rocketeers, why you can't be a psychic in the Golden Age, maxing out your Hitler-punching stats, and other game rules for the Golden Age.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018



Kurieg posted:

This may be more ambitious, but I've got a collection of the various Werewolf Breed Books, and I could review those as well... Yes, Including Nuwisha Pants?

Either is fine, but Nuwisha is worse than both. Nuwisha is a book about how literally every single were coyote is a huge rear end in a top hat with no redeeming qualities.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Mors Rattus posted:

Either is fine, but Nuwisha is worse than both. Nuwisha is a book about how literally every single were coyote is a huge rear end in a top hat with no redeeming qualities.

You don't have to tell me twice, I had a game come to a screeching halt halfway through because I made the mistake of letting someone play a Nuwisha.

JamieTheD
Nov 4, 2011

LPer, Reviewer, Mad Welshman

(Yes, that's a self portrait)

I say Apocalypse... but then, I love me line finishers... :D

Fossilised Rappy posted:

The best art for any Alternity book has been and always will be Facepalm Priest from Dark*Matter.

And you can guarantee he'll be in there when we get to it, along with everyone's favourite Screaming French Canadian Diabolist Trucker!

Alternity – Making Folks (Races and Chargen Part 1)

Those of you who own the Alternity books will notice I've just skipped two whole chapters, the intro, and the Fast Play Rules. This is because the Fast Play rules don't really explain much (they never do), and the introduction, beyond the breathless bubbliness of Bill Slaviscek and Richard Baker (they were really excited about the game, and it shows!), doesn't really say much we haven't heard before. So let's get straight to the meat and potatoes... making a character. I'm going to eventually make two characters, one to demonstrate how the system can trip you up, and one to demonstrate how a good (read: at least semi-broken) character is made.

In any case, first up is not, as you'd suspect, picking your stats, but your class and race. The default races in Alternity are all based on the Star*Drive setting, but as we'll demonstrate in the GMG later, it's quite easy to build your own. Let's deal with the races first.

The Baseline


Bill Slaviscek Really Enjoys His Research

Humans. Why am I spending time on humans? Because, as in many RPGs, humans form the baseline. Stats go from 4-14, and their skills... oh, yes, I'd forgotten about this. One of the quirks of the game is that races get a free Broad Skill (think of it like a skill package) in at least four of the six stats (They're basically the AD&D stats renamed). For humans, it's a generic set: Athletics (Strength), Vehicle Operation (Dexterity), Stamina (Constitution), Knowledge (Intelligence), Awareness (Willpower), and Interaction (Personality). The only mention I'll make now of those skills is whise the races differ.

Of course, as with any setting, humans' main ability is to breed like rabbits, expand everywhise, and generally make life interesting (read: loving chaotic) for everyone else. At least RPGs see humanity right, even if we don't! :haw:

But seriously, they get an extra free Broad Skill, some more Skill Points, and that's yer lot.

Oh, Dem Greys...


The woman's hat does d4w/d4+1w/d6m...

The Fraal (Fr-ahl) are the first race mentioned (humans are something like fourth), and, as you might have guessed, they're basically Greys. Not the needlessly anal probing kind we all know of, but the wise and benevolent types you'd expect if your only source of knowledge about Greys was something as biased as Von Daniken. Naturally, they're psychic, which means they get Telepathy (Personality) instead of Athletics, and Resolve (Willpower) instead of Stamina. They're physically frail, but are smarter than we are, have stronger wills, and are generally nicer folks.

In the Star*Drive setting, thise are two groups: Builders (Who live like Eldar in generation ships, except that they did this to escape something they completely forgot about, instead of from space-demons) and Wanderers (Who are basically nomads). The two groups are not mutually antagonistic, and Builders quite freely become Wanderers and vice-versa. We'll touch on them more when Star*Drive rolls around, but suffice to say, they are actually important to the metaplot of the game (although this is not immediately apparent)

One nice touch that I will mention, however, is that the race section gives short guidelines on how to fit each race into a modern game, a near-future game, and a far-future game. For the Fraal, that's respectively “First race to contact humans”, “The Fraal are Humanity's mates”, and “The Fraal are still Humanity's mates.” Fascinating.

Their favoured class is, predictably, Mindwalkers (psychics).

We Used To Be Bastards, But Now We're At One With Dell


Alienware's Sales-Reps of the Future!

The Mechalus (Mek-Ah-Luss), or Aleerin, as they call themselves, are near-humans. The difference, as you may have noticed, is that they are cybered to the gills from birth. They used to be a warlike race, but they have (mostly) discovered peace and harmony via the wonders of cybernetics. Didn't stop them almost destroying their homeworld before they trawled the Interwubs though.

Their basic abilities involve cybernetics and computers. As far as computers go, they get a -1 “Step Bonus” (basically, -d4, in this case... lowballing is good in this system) to using computers, and... a Good Nanocomputer in their heads, two slots in their heads for programs, and what is essentially that well known game-changer, Wired Reflexes. Skill wise, they replace Interaction with Computer Science (Intelligence). So they're athletic goons. However, like the stereotypical goon, they have comparatively low willpower and personality.

In a near-future or contemporary campaign, it's recommended to use them as a First Contact scenario, with all the awkwardness that usually follows such stories, whereas they're buddies with humanity in the Far Future.

Also predictably, they prefer to be Tech Ops.

There Had To Be A Colonisation Metaphor Somewhere...


I am really liking the nod toward sexual dimorphism here, btw.

...and the Sesheyan (Sesh-Ey-Ahn) are that metaphor. A winged species somewhere between bats and reptiles, with 6 eyes and an animistic belief system, the Sesheyan are only in space because humankind got them there, and it's up to you as to whether this was in a good or a bad way. Star*Drive pretty much goes the “We abused the Amerindians” route, as VoidCorp (:moreevil: Ltd, the Stellar Nation) “own” the Sesheyan homeworld of Sheya, keep most Sesheyan in ignorance, and the rest in lifetime indentured servitude. Obviously, not all Sesheyan like this.

Their skillset switches out Athletics for Melee Weapons (because Primitives) and Vehicle Op for Acrobatics, because they can fly. Oh, did I mention that, having wings, they rather sensibly are able to fly with them? They also have night vision (not darkvision, just night vision), act as though they have level 1 in Acrobatics: Zero-G Training, and never suffer fall damage if they can use their wings.

You can pretty much guess the history section, and statwise, they're weaker, quicker, not as smart, but have high willpower.

Stereotypical Sesheyan are Free Agents (the game's equivalent of rogues)

Hyperactive Geckomen From SPAAAAACE!


See? Not like Kender At All

The T'Sa (Tuh-Sah) are the last but one race in the base selection, and some people compare them to Kender. At first glimpse, this is perfectly true: They speak fast, they live fast, they think fast, and they're curious to the point of stupidity about technology. But, and this is the important point, they're not kleptomaniacs that lie about being kleptomaniacs, and, so long as you keep them away from big red buttons marked “DO NOT PUSH EVER” in big complicated machines, they're not going to annoy you, get you into trouble, or cause TPKs, unlike Kender. So, in general, a massive improvement.

Skillwise, they switch out Vehicle Op for Manipulation (sleight of hand), and statwise, they're weaker, much quicker, and slightly more likable than us talking monkeys. They have natural body armour (seems equivalent to a lighter version of a SWAT suit), get a -d4 bonus to their initiative (known as an Action Check), and a -d4 bonus to juryrig skill checks.

Historically, first contact was friendly, and they've been friendly ever since... they're pretty chill guys, as a species.

Stereotypical T'Sa is either a Free Agent or a Tech Op. And no, they're still not space-kender.

Every RPG Needs A Big Guy


Weren Don't Screw Around. Nuff Said.

The Weren (Wear-Un) are the Big Dumb Guys of Alternity (and, by extension, Star*Drive). They live on a planet called Kurg, and, in the Star*Drive setting, live in a tribal society that's been culturally uplifted (the Weren were already intelligent) by the Orlamu Theocracy (who believe in some Big Space Daddy called the Cosimir). This jibed quite well with the Weren's spiritual beliefs, so basically, they're murderous, but highly spiritual wolf-bear things. Just think of them as Big Dumb Guys, it's slightly easier.

Unsurprisingly, stat-wise, they're stronger, dumber, slower, weaker willed, and less personable. Also unsurprisingly, Weren swap out driving vehicles for Unarmed Attack, and that's about it. However, it's their special abilities which really cement their Big Dumb Guy status: Weren have 1.5 x Durability (Hit Points, basically), retractable claws, natural camouflage, and they get a +d6 penalty to using things that are above Progress Level 4 (Early Renaissance Period)

Weren only get a Far Future option, because they're primitives, but they basically learn new stuff readily, while not ignoring their homeworld's culture. I'll go more into them when we get to Star*Drive, because they do actually have a characterisation beyond Big Dumb Guys.

If you didn't guess that they like hitting things (and are thus best in the Combat Specialist class), I don't know how to help you.

Well, that's the races! Next time, we'll go into classes, stats, and buying skills! After that, we'll start making those characters!

pospysyl
Nov 10, 2012

SO EMBARRASSING



Kurieg posted:

This may be more ambitious, but I've got a collection of the various Werewolf Breed Books, and I could review those as well... Yes, Including Nuwisha Pants?

Along these lines, I have every Revised Tribe Book other than Glass Walkers (for some reason) and Children of Gaia (for obvious reasons). I'm working on a series for those. I'll move up production if anyone's interested. I'm doing them alphabetically (which is also by chronological release date), so we'll be starting with Black Furies, which goes to amazing levels of insane. Attack of the Fetus Ghosts, anyone?

Like I said in the last thread, I actually do like the A Tribe Falls scenarios (although there are some lame ones), but other than the Ragnarok setting, the book is pretty meh. Hengeyokai could be pretty interesting, and the breed book run through would be hilarious. It's amazing how badly the Nuwisha book fails to make them even remotely playable in a group. PGttCB only marginally improves this.

edit: My bad! Silent Striders is the one with the fetus ghosts. Black Furies is the one with the sidebar about the merits of breast feeding vs. formula. It's hard to keep the crazy straight.

pospysyl fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Apr 2, 2013

Tasoth
Dec 12, 2011


A thing to note about Alternity is that the alien races are really close to core D&D races. At least I felt that way. The Frahl are Elves, T'sa are Halflings, Mechalus are half-Elves, Shesheyans are Wood Elves and Weren Orcs/half-Orcs. Dark*Matter is pretty sweet because they wrap up the core races in a manner that meshes with the whole conspiracy theme of the game.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

Endorsed by:
Pentecoastal Elites!
fart_man_69!
Terminal autist!
Ruzihm!
Judakel!
Dixon Chisholm!
Nix Panicus!
Neurolimal!

Kurieg posted:

Well now that the new thread's up I'll ask the thread what I can review next(of the books I have to review).


Hengeyokai: Shapeshifters of the East. Part of the "Year of the Lotus", where White Wolf tried to introduce Asian counterparts of all of their game lines. It's mostly hilariously racist junk with the occasional good idea that would be salvaged later by a different writing team in a different book. It was reviewed before but got dropped partway through.


Apocalypse I referenced this one a lot in my TB:COG review because the Tribe Falls scenarios are pretty bad. but the rest of the book varies from merely Okay to pretty good, if occasionally hard to parse.


This may be more ambitious, but I've got a collection of the various Werewolf Breed Books, and I could review those as well... Yes, Including Nuwisha Pants?

Oh my goodness can I just vote 'both one after the other'? Both are so delightfully terrible for their own unique reasons. How ever can an rpg fan pick between racism and stupid mary-sues and metaplot hamfistedness?

I guess Shapeshifters of the East is a better bet because I think it's a bit harder to find now than the assorted end of game books.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.


My first campaign I ever GM'd was in Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age. The Rogue Renard (wearing an orange mask) ended up being wooed by one of the players.

All I remember from the campaign is said player escaping a house fire in wartime Italy. He demanded OOC that someone else go first, then quipped, "Well...when in Rome..."

tofuwizard
Feb 22, 2013


Considering someone is doing a write up for Mutants and Masterminds: Golden Age, does anyone mind if I try my hand at covering the Mutants and Masterminds 3rd edition corebook?

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man




While I stand by what I had in my abandoned Alternity write-up, I hated the game and trying to play it, and it shows.

On the other hand, would a 7 Seas-esque run through of Changeling: The Lost be up to people's interest?

JamieTheD
Nov 4, 2011

LPer, Reviewer, Mad Welshman

(Yes, that's a self portrait)

Gerund posted:

While I stand by what I had in my abandoned Alternity write-up, I hated the game and trying to play it, and it shows.

On the other hand, would a 7 Seas-esque run through of Changeling: The Lost be up to people's interest?

You still had some very valid points, although a little exaggerated: The lethality of the game is WoD-as-humans level if you're not careful (gotta make a combat example, thanks for reminding me), the layout isn't amazing, and they don't explain certain mechanics very well (I have to rewrite the Cybernetics update because of that lack of clarity). But then, the game really doesn't skimp on a lot of things, and the optional rules it skimps on, it often released entire splatbook.

Also, as far as C:TL goes, always up for some C:TL, I found it a decided improvement on the previous edition.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

JamieTheD posted:

Also, as far as C:TL goes, always up for some C:TL, I found it a decided improvement on the previous edition.

After watching Changeling: the Dreaming go from a kind of fun, if awkward allegory for high school, to an embarrassing paean to the SCA, Changeling: the Lost was the most pleasant surprise I've ever got from White Wolf.

DNA Cowboys
Feb 22, 2012

BOYS I KNOW


Gerund posted:

While I stand by what I had in my abandoned Alternity write-up, I hated the game and trying to play it, and it shows.

On the other hand, would a 7 Seas-esque run through of Changeling: The Lost be up to people's interest?

Yes, please.

Bitchtits McGee
Jul 1, 2011


Now, where was I? Or it's been so long, perhaps I should start over again...

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable



I have a copy of Inspectres sitting around my apartment. It's a sort of "Discount Ghostbusters" RPG, with a focus on player narration driving the plot of the current mission. The creator touts that the GM never has to do any prep, but I'm not so sure. Ran it once, and I might be able to put together a critique of it. Would the thread be interested in hearing about surprisingly unforgiving damage systems and unclear rules mixed together with a Second String Ghost Hunter flavor? And there's a Franchise Management aspect too, oddly enough.

Asimo
Sep 23, 2007




April 1st isn't over just yet! Let's get some more done here...

:siren:TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE - Creating your very own teenager!:siren:

When last we left off, I had given you a brief teaser of what's to come... the base stats of the game! The rather eclectic assortment of Smarts, Bod, Relationship with Parents (RWP), Luck, Driving, Looks, Cool, and Bonk. Now, you might be wondering that these stats probably aren't all created equal, and... well, you'd be right. But it's a comedy game, not a competition, so does it really matter?

... Besides, it's 1987. Chargen is random. :smaug:

Okay, honestly by then there were plenty of games with point-buy style systems, following in Champion's wake. It's chosen here quite intentionally to help make sure characters have (sometimes inexplicable) strengths and weaknesses, because it's funnier that way. And don't worry, TFOS has none of that "roll 3d6, down the line" crap that people think oldschool D&D had! Here it's 1D6 down the line! Yep, it's not very complex... roll a die for each stat, get a result from 1 to 6, and that's what the stat is. Higher is better ... generally, but we'll get into that later. Fortunately the game is fairly generous here; you can move points between stats as you like, as long as none go below 1 or above 6. Convenient!

(Now for folks with more modern gaming sensibilities, you could probably just give everyone 25 points to distribute around or something and skip the rolling so the entire party's on an even level, but considering it's literally impossible for a character to die in TFOS and the point of the game is humor, there's something to be said for just going with random as it is. You'll see.)

Now, while TFOS is a rules-light game this is probably a bit too simple, so characters are also allowed to have skills specialties non-weapon proficiencies knacks, basically specific things they're really good at! Or... at least better at than their traits would otherwise indicate. They're loosely paired with stats and add onto a roll when it relates to that particular knack, so something like "baseball star" would match up with Bod, "quantum hyperphysicist" with Smarts, or "daddy's little angel" with RWP. :v: Players roll a die, and however many points they have is how many can be spent on knacks, though it can be split however you want; if you rolled a two for example, you could have a single 2-point knack or two 1-point knacks.

(This is another case where it wouldn't be too hard to just give out a flat number if you were so inclined. But...)

While rolling up stats and knacks is pretty simple, it's obvious that there can be some imbalance between characters. Someone might have an unlovable loser with near-minimum stats, and someone might roll the child of Superman and Wonder Woman who is invulnerable in battle and has the infinite adoration of their peers. But never fear! Because, as mentioned several times, this is a comedy game... so "success" is in the eye of the beholder. While we won't get into the exact resolution rules until later, it's important to note now that it isn't a binary fail/success mechanic. Indeed, you can fail, you can succeed, or you can succeed too well, at which point the GM is highly encouraged to inflict whatever hilarious comeuppance is best fitting. Succeed too well on an attack, blow up half a city block and get community service after school. Do too well trying to woo a date, and you've now acquired your own creepy stalker. In most games this would be obnoxious, but since the whole point of TFOS is watching things go horribly wrong, well...

And the worst part? The players aren't allowed to know how good is too good.

Okay okay, it's another simple mechanic. At the start of each session the GM secretly rolls a die, and if a player succeeds on a roll by more than that amount during the session, hilarity ensues. :ssh:

Of course, stats are only part of marking a character! There's who they are... or perhaps what. While it's mostly for narrative's sake, PCs can be human, near human (your average star trek forehead alien), not very near human (your average star wars alien with head tentacles or wings or whatever), and real weirdies (everything else). There's no real rules involved here and anyone can play whatever they want really, with the oddities of the character mostly just affecting the RP. A twelve-foot tall firebreathing lizardmonster probably isn't going to be able to disguise themselves as the prom queen, for example. Despite the title of the game, "aliens" don't have to be from outer space either... they could be supernatural entities, from the past or future, or whatever seems most hilarious at the time.

Aliens of course also get special powers! ... Well, maybe. Like everything else so far, it's random rolls; in the original version it's a roll on three charts, each of which having a chance of "nothing". For the most part, powers are relatively self explanatory and have relatively minor game effects, and some are all but narrative. Highlights include things like Zap (zorch folks for 2 points of Bonk, and convenient for charging your walkman), Monster Out (you are now godzilla), or Telephone (phone home! Or anyone else, anywhere at any time. Hey, this was made before cellphones were ubiquitous...)

Humans meanwhile get jack. :v:

... Well okay, that's not true. Humans obviously don't have a chance at fantastic alien powers what with being humans and all, but they do have a chance for an advantage of their own, as befitting their, uh, mundane natures. It's only a single table and there's a higher chance of coming up empty, but it's possible to wind up with advantages like Filthy Rich (as in "you could probably afford to buy out a large country" rich), Run like Heck (incredibly useful with all the crazy aliens around), or Lose it Completely (when your current Bonk hits one, you go berserk and get super strength, speed, and toughness for a turn).

In the case of both aliens and humans, players are encouraged to make up new benefits, and cajole bribe politely as the GM if they're allowable. Players are also encouraged to take three basic Traits, little short descriptions that have absolutely no game mechanic benefits but help give a picture of the character. These can be anything from "Greedy" or "Shy" all the way up to "mad scientist" or "occasionally eats cars".

And that's... almost it, in fact! There's one more bit we'll cover in a moment, but this is the core of chargen. Stats, knacks, powers, all in a small handful of rolls. I told you this was easy! Enough so that I'll show a few of the complete sample character sheets from the book here...


Tommy Tanaka - Human
Smarts 5, Bod 4, RWP 5, Luck 6, Looks 5, Cool 1, Driving 3, Bonk 6
Knacks: Convince Mom +1, Dodge +3, Look Baffled so they Don't Clobber You +2
Powers: Incredible Luck
Traits: Bewildered, Trusting, Modest


Rami - Near Human
Smarts 4, Bod 5, RWP 4, Luck 2, Looks 6, Cool 6, Driving 4, Bonk 3
Knacks: Look Adorable +2, Shoot Zap Gun +3, Get a Date +1
Powers: Zap, Fly, Forcefield
Traits: Curious, Stubborn, Jealous

... Yep, that's it, (almost) the entirety of a character sheet. They don't really get much simpler than that, except maybe in Risus. But there's one last "stat" to go over too, mostly avoided so far because it's something that's determined over time rather than at chargen. Specifically: your allowance! :10bux: :10bux: Roll 2d6, multiply by two (hey, 1987, inflation...), and that's how much you get per week. It's explicitly unrelated to how rich and powerful your character's parents might be of course, since they might just be stingy or hope that an after-school job will make you build character or something. The only upside is that before the first session day of school, you roll another die and multiply your weekly total by that much to tell how much you've managed to save up ahead of time. And much like in real life, your allowance in TFOS is of critical importance because it allows you to buy things.

Every character is assumed to start with their own car, flying saucer, or equivalent thereof (hey, have to put that Driving stat to good use!) Problem is... it's also assumed to be an ugly, embarrassing, slow wreck of a used lemon unless you spend some money on it. Almost entirely fluff of course, but who doesn't want to have a cool paintjob and a car stereo?



There's assorted personal goods that keep the wheels of capitalist society moving as well, including an assortment of fantastic (or not-so fantastic) alien devices like the Zap Gun (zorch someone for 2 bonk), the 4th Dimensional Purse (which can store numerous things... assuming you can find them again), the Boy/Girl Gun (to help with genre verisimilitude), the Sony Holoman (Glasses that let you play videos from cassette tapes! Watch where you're going...), or the Pangalactic Ghettoblaster (can play any form of media, also loud enough to kill small animals). This is another place where players are encouraged to go hog-wild and make up their own horrifying amusing alien devices! Complete with some simple rules for creating them for characters of the appropriate hobbies. Success is not guaranteed, but awkward side effects likely are.

And of course, you'll need cash for visiting the movies, taking your dates out to dinner, and other such critically important social events. Which ultimately is why this seems to be tracked so closely for an otherwise rule-light game; being broke (or buying new stuff) can drive RP. Do you beg your parents? Do you get a job? Do you try and con your sister? Your girlfriend pay the dinner bill after driving her there in your old junker would make your social life in school complex after all...

For now, this brings us to the end of character generation! :toot: Next time, how to actually play the game! But we can't just leave it at that... I've been going on about how simple it is to make a character, so let's put this to the test. I'll roll up two sheets here, but leave the narrative traits unpicked, so to see who can make the most amusing characters from them! The winners will receive the undignified prize of being used in any gameplay examples that may come up later, as well as the undying adoration of the entertained thread! Hooray! All of this is rolled randomly with my actual dice, so put your creativity and experience with horrible old anime, cartoons, and webcomics to the max here... and if you actually own the game, hey, make your own!

Human
Smarts 6, Bod 4, RWP 6, Luck 4, Looks 5, Cool 2, Driving 3, Bonk 3
Knacks: (2 points to distribute)
Power: Connections (You know lots of people, and can get lots of favors... and probably get asked to give too)

Near Human
Smarts 4, Bod 3, RWP 2, Luck 2, Looks 2, Cool 2, Driving 3, Bonk 5
Knacks: (4 points to distribute)
Powers: Teleport, Monster Out, Superstrength

Real Weirdie
Smarts 2, Bod 1, RWP 1, Luck 5, Looks 2, Cool 6, Driving 6, Bonk 2
Knacks: (6 points to distribute)
Powers: Fly, Shapechange

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

Green Intern posted:

I have a copy of Inspectres sitting around my apartment. It's a sort of "Discount Ghostbusters" RPG, with a focus on player narration driving the plot of the current mission. The creator touts that the GM never has to do any prep, but I'm not so sure. Ran it once, and I might be able to put together a critique of it. Would the thread be interested in hearing about surprisingly unforgiving damage systems and unclear rules mixed together with a Second String Ghost Hunter flavor? And there's a Franchise Management aspect too, oddly enough.

I'd like to see this. It sounds like someone started with a basic 'serious' RPG and tried to go from there to Ghostbusters.

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man






So you want to be a Fae...

We're going to have a bit of real talk here.

For me, the best F&F write-ups are about games people love- or at least love to hate. When a game is itself a chore to write about, you despise writing, and it shows.

I love C:tL. Out of all of White Wolf, out of all RPGs, out of all games you can play on a table at home with a beer in your hand, I love C:tL.

It is (if you'll allow me to indulge in some pretentious capitalization) a game about Time, and Fate, and Stories, and Pain. It is a game about surviving, and making the act of surviving Mean Something. It is about creating your own identity out of broken mirror pieces. It is about reliving the slaughter of a single day; or the subtle destruction of a thousand nights.

It is a game about turning into an Ape and tearing the roof off of the DMV. And about scamming your way to the top, and then living long enough to brag about it. And getting drunk while having a rhyme-battle while your characters are also getting drunk. And where being clever and witty and having a good sense of puns and metaphors is more important than what all the excel sheets in the world could provide.

Its an intensely personal game, played best with a group of friends with fantastic personalities.

Welcome to Changeling: The Lost

Gerund fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Apr 2, 2013

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN


quote:

Succeed too well on an attack, blow up half a city block and get community service after school. Do too well trying to woo a date, and you've now acquired your own creepy stalker. In most games this would be obnoxious, but since the whole point of TFOS is watching things go horribly wrong, well...

I was in a con game yesterday with a homebrew system, and one character had a disadvantage where if he rolled doubles on 2d10 his gadgets would Work Better Than Expected. In two hours he managed to cover an entire street with earwax, get caught in a giant ball of bubblegum, and succeed so well at escaping that an entire underground bunker turned into an escape rocket. In other words, I encourage this rule.

Asimo
Sep 23, 2007




Count Chocula posted:

I was in a con game yesterday with a homebrew system, and one character had a disadvantage where if he rolled doubles on 2d10 his gadgets would Work Better Than Expected. In two hours he managed to cover an entire street with earwax, get caught in a giant ball of bubblegum, and succeed so well at escaping that an entire underground bunker turned into an escape rocket. In other words, I encourage this rule.
Exactly! That's the spirit TFOS was built upon. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how much property damage you cause in the process! :shepface:

Tasoth
Dec 12, 2011


It's also an important concept in Paranoia, which is another fantastic game.

Asimo
Sep 23, 2007




Tasoth posted:

It's also an important concept in Paranoia, which is another fantastic game.
Yeah, Paranoia was a definite inspiration for TFOS and a lot of other mid/late-80's comedy games. It's a shame I don't currently own a copy, it's something that really deserves a proper writeup, probably with comparison of the various later editions. There's a lot of early RPGs and things from the 80's that were competing against the then-juggernaut TSR that really influenced the industry, but have gone out of print or otherwise forgotten. The fact a few things like Empire of the Petal Throne, Tunnels & Trolls, Runequest, Paranoia, Marvel Super Heroes, and other prominent out of print games of the era haven't been touched on in either thread so far is kind of sad, really.

And yes, I am encouraging people to pull out those old books. I can't be the only (semi-)ancient gamer here! :corsair:

Amechra
Sep 9, 2012


I think someone already started a review of Paranoia?

After checking, yep, looks like GorfZaplen's on it, though his last review post was in June, so...

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Bitchtits McGee
Jul 1, 2011


Meh, starting again'd be too much bother.


Part 2: More Races

So! poo poo-eating undead, incest-powered demon hunters, unicorn warrior women with armored vaginae, and kenders with more eyes than you can shake a stick at. At which you could shake a stick. Than. Lots, ye ken. What's next?

Futakuchi


Actually the good sort of creepy.

Futakuchi (lit., "two mouths") come from Japanese folklore. Stories vary on details as to why, but the common thread is an otherwise ordinary human woman afflicted with a second, insatiably hungry mouth on the back of her neck, which feeds itself in secret using prehensile locks of hair. The jazzed-up playable versions are angels tasked with training and protecting the mortal champions of Heaven. Constant hunger clashes with a strong sense of purpose, making severity and somberness racial characteristics, giving them a disdainful view of humans' tendency for indolent self-gratification, and shaping them perfectly for acting out tsun-dere fantasies. :jerkbag: Can pass for human with minimal care, unless they're totally nude, since their vaginae open sideways.

Baseline racial traits: Serpentine Mane as a racial bonus feat, darkvision ("when in absolute darkness, their eyes become jet black pools filled with distant stars" why not), Natural Weapons (biting with the second mouth can be tricky, but does fair damage, plus some to Outsiders and Undead), Celestial Inspiration (cast Bless 3+WIS mod per day), Celestial Modesty (-2 morale penalty on all rolls for 24 hours if a mortal man sees her eat).

Alternate racial traits:

    Harbringer of Heavenly Displasure: You care less about tutoring some bumbling mortal as stomping evil yourself. Cast Divine Favor on yourself three times a day. Replaces Inspiration.
    Second Mouth's Kiss: The method is self-explanatory; the effect is swapping a humanoid's sex for a few hours. Actually less of a cosmetic change than in most games, as a lot of feats, classes and abilities are gender-specific, but yeah, totally rape. Replaces Inspiration.
    Scholarly Vulva: Instead of a second mouth at the top of your spine, you've got a second pussy at the base of your spine, and getting banged there makes you smarter. Replaces Weapons, and Modesty no longer applies. In more ways than one.
    Vagina Denta: Yep, it's this old chestnut. Fields is the one who misspelled it, though. Slightly modifies the mechanics of Weapons, and makes it even more awkward to use. Still have to feed both mouths while eating, "a process which is exquisitely, distractingly pleasurable for the normally reserved Futakuchi". :ughh:

Ironclub Oni

Hulking, monstrous, proud savage warrior types. Not fantastically original. Skin defaults to brick red, thick mane of black hair all over. Expert blacksmiths. Trained to use tetsubo (long studded clubs designed to smash armor and break bones) as soon as they're grown enough to hold one unassisted. Both genders apparently have spines on their genitals that maim or kill any other race during coitus, and can only conceive when bathed in the blood of their enemies. Okay, I guess that's new.

Baseline racial traits: +2 to any two Craft skills (except Alchemy, which is for nerds), Ironhead Tetsubo (critical hit multiplier of any manufactured bludgeoning weapon is upped by 1), Murder Zen (dealing the deathblow to any creature with an equal or greater challenge rating makes you immune to mental effects for an hour), Too Honest (make a successful Bluff check against any sentient creature, and you're Shaken for a day from the dishonor).

Alternate racial traits:

    Hibagon Oni: Purple-skinned, with rotting teeth, four nostrils, and three vertically-stacked orange eyes. Carve their tetsubo into giant cocks. Has no need for food, water, or oxygen, so long as they torture, rape and murder at least one sentient, intelligent creature a day. AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WANT TO PLAY AS THIS. FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!! :doom: Replaces Tetsubo.
    Shojo Oni: Orange hair instead of black, generally jollier disposition, probably because they're permanently stinko. Immune to poison, no penalty for intoxication, Murder effect is replaced by guzzling a bottle of wine or its equivalent.
    Stronger Than Strong: Ready to fight for right, against wrong. Enlarge Person on self once per day. Replaces Murder.
    Yama-Uba: Female oni from the Frozen North, with gray-blue skin and white hair. +20% concealment in snowy or icy mountainous regions. Replaces Murder.

Kami


I'd wager you've seen their type around before.

Widdle godlings. :3: Though immortal and wise in their own way, they're not any physically stronger than most mortals, and often ignorant of and/or confused by the ways of the mundane world. That doesn't stop them from throwing themselves full-steam-ahead into every task they take on, though. Appearance is almost human, except for the individual runic markings on the forehead and hands, and the fact that they, their hair, and any loose clothing worn are constantly floating, unaffected by gravity. Infernal kami may have "cute little bat-wings", and heavenly kami angel or fairy wings, either sticking out of the shoulder blades where you'd expect, or behind their ears, which never made a lick of sense to me and frankly looks dumb as hell.

Baseline racial traits: +4 racial bonus to Fly checks, a "defining subtype" (Air, Chaos, Cold, Earth, Evil, Fire, Good, Law, Water) and another racial bonus to two skills based on this, "big, soulful eyes that give them lowlight vision", Kami's Perfection (choose one of your subtype skills, gain an extra bonus die based on your level to any check made with it).

Alternate racial traits:

    Cuddly Oni: A young demon of the Black Else, "you are a little bit more good-hearted than your parents would like, focused more on mischief and the occasional punishment game rather than predation and lust-murder." Wasn't that a Far Side? Anyway, racial bonus on Stealth and Intimidate, cast either Darkness, Ghoul Touch, or Command Undead once a day. It says it replaces the racial skills and modifies Perfection, but reads like it does the other way around? :shrug:
    Divine Domain: Access to "domain powers" associated with your defining subtype, whatever that means. Replaces Perfection. Come to think of it, Perfection is really all there is to replace on these guys, so I'll just skip that part.
    Heavenly Beauty and Grace: Once per day, reveal your true heavenly beauty, effectively casting the spells Cat's Grace and Eagle Splendor on yourself.
    Lovely Kami: "You are a kami not dedicated to good or evil, but to love, lust and the joyous, wet moment of orgasm." Ohhhh boy. Gifts of Ecstasy as a racial bonus feat, Perfection applies to Perform (Sexual) checks, and any creature whom you willingly gently caress gets either +1 to all saving throws or +3 to a specific saving throw for an hour.
    Warrior of Heaven: Exactly what it sounds like. Automatic proficiency with all simple and martial weapons, shields, and light to medium armor. Perfection-style bonus dice to attack rolls made with anything for which you have a Weapon Focus feat.

Three seems like a nice round number. Next time: underage sex berries, floating livers, and grumpy old animal fuckers! I can't wait!

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