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MourningView posted:Karl Malone is well known to the be the hardest working man in the history of professional sports to the point that he selflessly abandoned multiple children just so he could work out more. Please do not derail this most serious of discussions with your pathetic troll attempts, or there will be consequences. How did he find time to knock up a 13 year old though?
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May 5, 2013 22:06
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 16:43 |
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Y'all are just mad because His Royal Airness is better than all of you... combined. KISS RINGS BITCHES!
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May 5, 2013 22:08
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Dexo posted:How did he find time to knock up a 13 year old though? That counts as a workout session.
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May 5, 2013 22:10
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I know it got brought up earlier but seriously, Bugs Bunny. He just took one sip of "Mike's Secret Stuff" and all of a sudden grew all the muscles. "Mike's Secret Stuff" turned a terrible hunter in Elmer Fudd into a dangerous sharpshooter in moments.
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May 5, 2013 22:12
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Rashard Lewis also got caught doing DHEA and after he did his career fell off a cliff, but he got picked up by the Heat so
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May 5, 2013 22:16
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Mr. Humalong posted:Wait, I thought basketball players don't lift weights? See, this just shows your fundamental misunderstanding of how steroids work. Steroid users use steroids because they're lazy and don't want to workout. Steroids ignore the laws of physics and bio mechanics and spontaneously grow muscles. This is what makes them different than all the perfectly legal amphetimines that our grandparent's era's pure and clean athletes like Mickey Mantle took. Try to keep up bro.
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May 5, 2013 22:21
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BasicFunk posted:Y'all are just mad because His Royal Airness is better than all of you... combined. KISS RINGS BITCHES! Real talk I bet we'll find out that Cal Ripken Jr. was taking steroids to heal faster from injuries to retain his Iron Man streak before we hear about MJ taking anything.
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May 5, 2013 22:32
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If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.
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May 5, 2013 22:37
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Twilight Matrix posted:If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. 
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May 5, 2013 22:38
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There's an interesting story about Tim Glover and Jordan's influence in the Bulls locker room, but it requires a bit of setup. Illicit drug use in professional sports is practically mandatory, to the point where it could be called an epidemic. Weed is the primary offender, followed by prescription painkillers and steroids, followed to a much smaller degree by opiates and harder stuff. The major leagues either don't test or don't punish for weed, because they feel it's not a performance enhancer slash just about everyone is on it so there's no real competitive advantage, and it's not addictive like prescription pills are. It's part of the reason they don't want an outside agency doing their testing because they'd have just about everyone piss hot and it'd look bad even though weed's a non-starter these days outside of Republican campaigns. But the basic, unwritten/unspoken agreement because the leagues and players is "smoke up to deal with the pain, but stay away from pills and the harder stuff." Needless to say, the players don't always listen. Weed/pills/steroids is obviously highest among the NFL, followed by pills with NHL players, though Ovechkin is said to be as addicted to weed as a person could be. NBA has weed/steroids with a small contingent of pills, and MLB is mostly uppers and downers due to the length of the schedule, with the other stuff mixed it. But I digress. Every locker room has someone, either called a bagman or a runner or some term, who's job it is to supply the players with whatever substances they need to perform on a regular basis. The only rules is that it's never brought up in the open locker room, where media/cameras could pick up on that stuff (remember all of the hubbub about McGwire and andro during his '98 season?), it's never mentioned to the higher-ups even though they're aware (see no evil, basically), you charge everyone the same rate and don't try and create a market (this last one will be important later). The role usually falls on someone in the training staff/team doctor; we all saw that Deadspin story about the Chargers doctor being a quack, the players love him because he'll give them whatever they need to deal with their pain, and if you're gonna go after him you need to go after the other 31 doctors in the NFL and everyone else who's using a prescription pad to get access to famous athletes and pad their wallets. You want a trainer or someone who has access to these drugs without raising a lot of questions and will be a constant in the locker room, as opposed to a player or a coach who could be gone at any time. Sometimes there's exceptions, such as Jerome Simpson with the Bengals and getting weed FedEx'd to him a couple of years ago, but that's an exception that proves the rule. Tim Grover was Jordan's personal trainer and as such had access to the Bulls' locker room. Jordan quickly let it be known that if anyone was going to get anything, it was going to be through Grover, and such Grover became the Bulls' bagman. Grover mostly dealt with pills and steroids, since NBA players have their own crews and someone in that crew is responsible for getting weed or whatever else. This was fine with everyone, and Grover continued in that role even after Jordan retired to play baseball. But things got interesting once the Bulls traded for Dennis Rodman. Rodman was fine with the Pistons, where he looked at Chuck Daly as a father figure, but really fell apart when Daly was fired (to the point of sitting in the Pistons' parking lot with a shotgun in his lap, and that's not a joke), and was traded to San Antonio. There's Rodman began acting up and getting heavily involved in drugs, to the point where the Spurs needed someone to keep an eye on him. They assigned Jack Haley, a little used backup center to be Rodman's wingman on the road, and the two of them got along well enough. But Rodman clashed heavily with Bob Hill and David Robinson (one of the few players who did not smoke or do drugs), and was dealt with Chicago. Rodman's agent (he went through so many I have no clue who it was at this time) let it be known to the Bulls that Rodman needed someone with him at all times, and so the Bulls signed Haley for the minimum and placed him on injured reserve. Haley's job was to get Rodman to the games (and practice as much as possible) on time and in condition to play, with the latter more important than the former. It was also important that Haley keep Rodman out of handcuffs and out of newspaper headlines, and his unspoken role was to get Rodman whatever substances he needed as long as Rodman stayed in the starting lineup. And for the most part he did that. Haley had his own supplier of stuff from his time in San Antonio, and since what he got Rodman didn't clash with what Grover was supplying to the Bulls, the arrangement was fine. Jordan didn't like that Rodman didn't take the game as seriously as he did and wasn't always in best of condition/present as practice, but Rodman was the only other member of the Bulls who played as hard as Jordan did night in and night out, so Jordan gave Rodman his begrudging respect (about as high an honor as Jordan gave anyone, with few exceptions). However, Haley was looking to pad his bankroll a little bit, so he started dealing weed to other Bulls players and eventually steroids, undercutting Grover. As you might expect, this broke the unwritten rule of not creating a market, and also underminded Jordan's absolute authority and rule, and Jordan's ego was as big at this point as it ever was in his career. Jordan went to Jerry Reindsdorf (he hated Jerry Krause with a passion after Charles Oakley was dealt) and wanted Haley released. Reinsdorf refused, on the grounds that Haley was the only thing keeping Rodman in line. It's rumored that Jordan tried to have Haley ran off the road or intimidated into leaving town, but Haley never got the message. So Jordan had to take matters into his own hands. Being on injured reserve, Haley wasn't allowed to practice with the team (and he wasn't signed to play so why bother), and as such got out of shape. Jordan constantly mocked Haley for his condition, and one day Haley was alone lifting weights in the Bulls locker room while Rodman was sleeping in the trainers room. Jordan came in, saw Haley lifting by himself, and decided to deliver his message himself. While Haley was in the middle of a bench press set, Jordan picked up a 100-pound dumbbell and dropped it on Haley's stomach. Haley dropped his weights on his chest, nearly killing himself, and as he struggled Jordan screamed in Haley's face to get the gently caress out of his locker room and never come back, and walked away. Locker room omerta meant that Haley was never gonna go to the police over it, but the Bulls and Jordan ended up paying Haley a tidy sum in hush money. Haley stayed out of the locker room and kept out of Jordan's sight as much as possible, to the point where Rodman and Haley traveled separately from the team when possible. But after the '95-96 season, where the Bulls won an NBA record 72 games and Jordan's fourth title, Haley was released. The Bulls used a rotating cast of people to try and keep Rodman in line, with the most success coming with Luc Longley off all people, who didn't require much sleep and had a BDSM-streak that dwarfed The Worm's. And Jordan's absolute rule was reestablished in the locker room. There's more, but I'll tell those stories later. e- fixed spelling/grammar. C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at 03:59 on May 7, 2013 |
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May 5, 2013 22:42
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Anyone who doesn't believe MJ did steroids needs to read The Jordan Rules. Sam Smith is the most well connected and respected journalist covering the NBA. He practically wrote a drat treasure map to Jordan's steroid use. Do you know that His UNFAirness requires all testers to let him have a "special assistant" in the room when he does a drug test because of his "fear of needles". He got out of a drug test in game 1 of the 92 Finals against Portland because his "special assistant" was out of town due to family matters. The tester protested and MJ got him fired. That shrug? It was Jordan just mocking everything because of what he was getting away with. He kept pushing the envelope though. The ECF against the Knicks in 93 he intentionally tanked for 3 loses and tripled his dosage for Game 7 so he could have a legendary performance. He was getting so blatant and reckless that Stern kicked him out for 1 year Seriously, can we make it a requirement that anyone who wants to argue about this subject read The Jordan Rules first. Talking with people who haven't read it is like trying to talk about 9/11 with people that haven't seen Loose Change or Zeitgeist. The loving facts are right there, don't be blind. WhyteRyce fucked around with this message at 22:57 on May 5, 2013 |
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May 5, 2013 22:53
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I am glad we are finally discussing this. They vilified Barry Bonds for less.
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May 5, 2013 22:53
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Like most Great Men, Michael Jordan is an rear end in a top hat.
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May 5, 2013 22:59
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General Dog posted:Like most Great Men, Michael Jordan is an rear end in a top hat. His Hall of Fame speech confirmed that. Roid rage episode?
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May 5, 2013 23:02
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Jack's Flow posted:I am glad we are finally discussing this. They vilified Barry Bonds for less. Very true. The only american sport we care about here in eastern europe is NBA so i've never seen a base ball game, but from what I can tell it's just a bunch of fat guys standing around trying to hit a ball with a stick, so steroid use there obviously has way less impact than in a real sport like Basketball.
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May 5, 2013 23:02
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Probably Magic posted:His Hall of Fame speech confirmed that. Roid rage episode? Roid-induced dementia perhaps. vvvvv This too.
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May 5, 2013 23:03
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Probably Magic posted:His Hall of Fame speech confirmed that. Roid rage episode? The Charlotte Bobcats have been the greatest roid rage in American history. 
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May 5, 2013 23:04
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Is it any wonder why all these steroid tests are happening now, after MJ is out of the league and in control as an owner? His competitiveness is legendary and since now he's an owner who has influence over league policy, it wouldn't surprise me if he started encouraging a crackdown so guys like Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu can't threaten his records
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May 5, 2013 23:07
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Oceanlife posted:
Sorry dude but you showed your cards here.
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May 5, 2013 23:10
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Jack's Flow posted:I am glad we are finally discussing this. They vilified Barry Bonds for less. Barry Bonds is a worthless human being that should be vilified for ruining the Pirates
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May 5, 2013 23:16
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have steroids ever caused flu like symptoms?
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May 5, 2013 23:18
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3peat posted:i've never seen a base ball game, but from what I can tell it's just a bunch of fat guys standing around trying to hit a ball with a stick, so steroid use there obviously has way less impact than in a real sport like Basketball. this is the best analysis of the game of baseball i've ever read
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May 5, 2013 23:20
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a shameful boehner posted:this is the best analysis of the game of baseball i've ever read The description is too close to how you would describe amateur golf to be completed descriptive of baseball.
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May 5, 2013 23:22
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SHUT THE gently caress UP. THIS IS loving BULLSHIT. IF EVERYONE IS WRONG, THEN NO ONE IS WRONG SO EVERYBODY NEEDS TO loving DO STEROIDS. I injected steroids into my computer and now my keyboard has roid rage.
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May 5, 2013 23:52
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People forget that Isaiah Thomas was a super cool guy.
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May 6, 2013 00:08
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Fleetwood posted:People forget that Isaiah Thomas was a super cool guy. woah woah woah
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May 6, 2013 00:16
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Midway had strict drug testing policies that Shaq and MJ couldn't beat so instead of risking bad publicity from failing the tests they refused to participate in NBA Jam.
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May 6, 2013 00:18
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Holy poo poo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMRDQeGsHUU&t=158s Who was the serpent in this garden of Eden?
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May 6, 2013 00:34
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MJ already had a keen fashion sense back then.
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May 6, 2013 00:39
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poz my vo2 neg blood rear end
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May 6, 2013 00:59
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Fleetwood posted:People forget that Isaiah Thomas was a super cool guy. Hated the gays, sexual harassment lawsuit, somehow ran the CBL into the ground in only two years
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May 6, 2013 01:01
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LeBron is better than Kobe
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May 6, 2013 01:05
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Declan MacManus posted:Hated the gays, sexual harassment lawsuit, somehow ran the CBL into the ground in only two years Yeah, like he said, really cool dude.
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May 6, 2013 01:11
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Cool. Now someone do one for LeBron.
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May 6, 2013 01:11
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Other noted cool dudes, Fred Phelps and Michael Jeffrey Jordan.
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May 6, 2013 01:12
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buttcoin smuggler posted:Cool. Now someone do one for LeBron. He's a narcissist probably.
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May 6, 2013 01:22
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buttcoin smuggler posted:Cool. Now someone do one for LeBron. Only people with notable accomplishments get fingered for steroid use.
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May 6, 2013 01:33
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LeBron doesn't have THE LOOK and is no where near clutch enough to take steroids
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May 6, 2013 01:34
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Jordan didn't do steroids because the NBA is loving rigged a hell so no one botherss. True fact.
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May 6, 2013 02:05
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 16:43 |
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buttcoin smuggler posted:Cool. Now someone do one for LeBron. Immature, egotistical, fathered all of his children out of wedlock if you care about that kind of thing, has been coasting off his reputation since he was 18, broke Cleveland's heart, broke the heart of noted fashion plate Buzz Bissinger I like LeBron though
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May 6, 2013 02:51
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