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I've been approached by a few people associated with SGI Buddhism. Is there any sort of consensus about them?
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May 9, 2013 22:33
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:38 |
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I run into a severe problem when I try meditation or breath work. At best I'll have a few seconds free of thought before I enter a negative spiral of anxiety or self hatred or depression or distressing imagery. Usually I just go straight to the negative thoughts. I've been told just keep doing it but the longer I do it the more miserable I feel. This was particularly problematic during a two hour guided meditation session where I spent the whole time in misery, unable to calm my mind. The workbooks keep saying do it and it'll work. But it's not working. I actively dread the exercises now.
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Feb 17, 2016 05:29
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SubjectVerbObject posted:Try to use the meditation time getting to know your mind. In a way, this means surrendering to the thoughts, but it really means not being judgmental. When you have a bad thought, and then think "I'm bad because I had that thought' that's when the spiral starts. Here's my problem in a nutshell. This is a very old problem. I've seen therapists, gone to groups, and read different books that tell me calm my mind, don't be judgmental, just keep trying. That I won't make any progress until I can just be calm and mindful in the present. But visualization exercises lead to me visualizing horrible ways that I need to be die. Breathing exercises lead to me freaking out and either having angry thoughts towards myself or depressed thoughts towards myself. Body awareness exercises like tensing the muscles or tapping lead to an acute awareness of just how tense the rest of my body is, and how I can't untense the other parts. From there I can either just detach entirely or go into a negative thought spiral that can last for several minutes at a time. Intellectually I understand where the thoughts come from, what their origins are, what's going on neurologically, etc. But the moment the emotions kick in logic goes out the window. And the emotions tell me that at best I need to be dead and at worst I need to die a painful, prolonged death. And when they kick in I believe them 100% even though I can never act on them.
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Feb 17, 2016 07:19
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Nessus posted:What do you mean by "detach entirely?" Like become emotionally numb to anything. I'll still respond to things and behave in ways that are consistent with how I'd normally behave but I also won't have any real memories of what was said or what happened beyond a general awareness that I got emotionally overwhelmed, shut down, and operated on autopilot.
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Feb 17, 2016 08:34
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The-Mole posted:If you experience an uncontrollable amount of rage or despair coming up when you sit, it would be worth it to talk to a therapist and an experienced teacher (probably in that order). Strong emotions coming up can be a part of the process and can often be worked through, but it's not just a matter of keep sitting. Talk to someone knowledgeable and go from there. Journalling can also be an amazing resource for getting a sense of where strong feelings are coming from. What you're experiencing isn't that uncommon with meditation, but some issues can be worsened by continued meditation and some will resolve over time with continued sitting and a bit of therapy or counseling. Basically sometimes you need to sit more, some times you need to talk to someone. This gets to the heart of the issue. The exercises I've tried with my therapist, with meditation instructors (almost never experts), and from lay publications are all variations of one another. Lie down or sit on a chair, then tense and relax muscles. Sit on the floor or in a chair and perform a visualization exercise on X, Y, or Z. Sit down and focus on your breathing. Sit down and focus on a mantra. Notice where your mind is going and when you have a negative thought just let it go. The methods are always interrupted by intense negative thoughts and feelings, and if there is any guidance for the exercises not working, it's basically "Just keep doing it and it will work". This is a big problem because my therapist is convinced that I must master one of those forms of meditation in order to get better. So we'll wind up in a situation where she'll perform a guided meditation exercise that lasts four to twelve minutes. I'll quiet my mind for a few seconds. Then I'll be bombarded with horrible thoughts or images. Then I'll quite my mind for a few seconds starting the process all over again. This lasts until the exercise comes to a stop. It is an absolutely horrible, miserable time.
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Feb 24, 2016 04:28
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I think I've asked this question before, apologies if it's a repeat. How does one do meditation if one also has lifelong issues with dissociation?
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Sep 30, 2019 10:37
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I have a follow-up. I'm a secular humanist. I see things I can use from many aspects of Buddhism. But I don't like the idea of appropriating from the faith selectively; especially if I don't intend to accept the spiritual aspects of Buddhism. Does anyone have advice for how I can find my way while avoiding doing the standard white guy appropriation bs?
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Sep 30, 2019 21:19
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Caufman posted:I've been wondering about this one. I wish I had more experience helping folks with dissociative disorders. If I may ask. what kinds of meditations have you tried lately, and what is that like? What do you imagine those meditations are like for folks without dissociative disorders? Well, for me my thoughts run away really quickly and they're attached with overwhelmingly strong feelings. The exercise almost doesn't even matter. Yesterday my therapist and I tried a visualization exercise about talking with someone. And my mind ran from talking to someone to people dying in the span of a second. So I had to be present to listen to the exercise, and form a reasonable answer to her questions, and calm down the part that was freaking out, and try not to show the inner freaking out, and then once I had an appropriate answer in mind I knew what I wanted to say but I also couldn't get the words out. I'd imagine most people's experiences allow for acknowledging thoughts without having to worry about, say, one part getting control long enough bash my skull into the wall. But I have to stop myself and I'm not always successful. I'm really tired of this, but I can't afford to give up because that means death.
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Oct 23, 2019 15:04
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:38 |
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fffffffffffff posted:I mean the other possibility is he likes all his drama and doesn't want it to end, and talking about how hard it all is is part of the thrill. The epic struggle of life and death every day. Not liking it is part of liking it. That's harsh. I had to check to see if I posted here before this year. I came here in 2013 to ask about SGI Buddhism. They have a chapter in my hometown. In February 2016 I asked for advice about meditation. I but didn't think to check if I had asked because what were the odds this thread would be that old? And this September I came back to ask about meditation because people keep saying that meditation and mindfulness are big parts of the answer. But it's generally the same pat advice about breath work and just let the thoughts go. The thread fell off my radar, I checked it again, saw the question from last week, and I answered a question. Today I saw this thread full of posts, decided to get caught up, and...well, all of this.
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Oct 27, 2019 06:29
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