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Tax Inductions
Jul 9, 2007

I carry refreshments to the good guys
I made the good guys some home fries


C, A, A

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Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer



Here's the current tally. I think you can call it for 1-C and 2-A, but there's one vote margin between 3-C and 3-H.

Edit: Diog already closed the polls, though, so 3-C wins my the skin of its... teeth, or something.

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at Jun 7, 2013 around 18:56

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


Canuck-Errant posted:

Edit: Diog already closed the polls, though, so 3-C wins my the skin of its... teeth, or something.

Crossing my fingers for a safe treasure hunt! FWIW I voted for the pansy runner-up option.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.


Canuck-Errant posted:



Here's the current tally. I think you can call it for 1-C and 2-A, but there's one vote margin between 3-C and 3-H.

Edit: Diog already closed the polls, though, so 3-C wins my the skin of its... teeth, or something.

I dunno; I'd tally it in groups, personally.

A-E are clearly in Team Adventure.

F and I are Team Murderfish.

H is Team Boring.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004

I love you boy, One Pack, always.


Lipstick Apathy

We're going to get mauled by a tree octopus on our "adventure" and end up in a wheel chair for the rest of the game. What was assumed to be a tale of adventure will become a tale of mastering riding a horse without the use of our legs.

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.


The amount of 3H votes on that one was disgraceful. Guys, it's right in the title: choose your own adventure, not choose the most mundane option possible.

Even if you're not on the child sacrifice laserfish bandwagon (which a lot of us aren't...yet. Keep it up see what happens), at least think about picking one of the somewhat interesting options available next time. Don't pick adventure and then not even dip your toe in the water.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009


I think we only have super safe votes going so strong because half the people wanted a polarizing option to MURDER THE BOY. There has to be some middle ground to testing the fish lazer and murdering our friends. I'm pro murder fish, but I'm all for biding our time to adulthood and making cults of Asherah all over the land and not getting gutted immediately by Barkof, who you know is watching us.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


So, you're saying we should ?

Personally I didn't think it's worthwhile to possibly die horribly in the night, but I guess you have to get your heroic origins at some point

dyzzy fucked around with this message at Jun 7, 2013 around 20:13

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Update ETA less than two hours. I will aim for a second one later tonight, if possible, but it depends on if enough people vote, I don't want people left out just because they are not glued to the forums.

Again, many, many thanks to Canuck and Porpoise. Their help counting means I get more time to write! Update ETA less than two hours. I will aim for a second one later tonight, if possible, but it depends on if enough people vote, I don't want people left out just because they are not glued to the forums.

Diogines fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2013 around 00:17

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Long day. Unaware a major storm was hitting the US. Currently in a miles long backup on a highway with water three feet high.

What I am saying is, tonight we will have an update, but not within my last ETA.

Also, if anyone has an in with Otac, see of he can do anything, thanks.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

On team H.

My assumptions are simply very different. I assume that everyone in the camp is asleep. I assume that if Jorah and Pagam are going to catch up,now is when that will happen. I assume it is more likely that will encounter the camp than two small boys wandering in the forest. I assume it is highly probable that there are 'others' in the forest watching the camp and more interested in that than us. I assume that if we are wandering around in the forest something interesting might happen, but that is equally likely, if not more likely, that while we are playing make believe in the forest the real and interesting action will take place in the camp, which we have just left completely unguarded with everyone asleep. These assumptions are just as likely as any of the others. Only events will tell, and even then since dice rolls will be involved hard to say.

Trundel
Mar 13, 2005

+ =
- a sound investment!

Hooray! I went on a trip and now everything will hinge on whether we screw up a friendship by playing our hand badly or possibly sacrificing Danal to Ashera!

If I had voted I would have gone with a variant of F, saying the word 'Monster?' and then capering up towards one of the donkeys and stepping on its MONSTER TAIL to get it to make noise. Once the fallout settles apologize to Danal, pointing at the donkey and saying 'bad monster'.

Basscop, can you get a word in edge-wise with Otac?

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


I parked my car on the highest spot I could and am many miles from home. I do not anticipate an update tonight, sorry people.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Diogines posted:

I parked my car on the highest spot I could and am many miles from home. I do not anticipate an update tonight, sorry people.

A storm has come to prevent the update. This is a sign from Asherah! Vote for sacrificing to Asherah, or we will all suffer!

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


Diogines posted:


Also, if anyone has an in with Otac, see of he can do anything, thanks.

Basscop?

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.





Who do you think caused this in the first place?

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004

I love you boy, One Pack, always.


Lipstick Apathy

Diogines posted:

I parked my car on the highest spot I could and am many miles from home. I do not anticipate an update tonight, sorry people.

Perhaps we can do a mini-CYOA with your life while we wait. We get to choose what you do next.

A) Attempt to ford the flooding with your car
B) Swim for it
C) Find a similarly stranded stranger and sacrifice them to Ashera

C

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer

> CAULK THE CAR

Schizotek
Nov 8, 2011

I say, hey, listen to me!
Stay sane inside insanity!!!


A real man would swim.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Tsyni posted:

Perhaps we can do a mini-CYOA with your life while we wait. We get to choose what you do next.

A) Attempt to ford the flooding with your car
B) Swim for it
C) Find a similarly stranded stranger and sacrifice them to Ashera

C

D Ride a turtle out of there

Trundel
Mar 13, 2005

+ =
- a sound investment!

SerSpook posted:

D Ride a turtle out of there

Surely you mean a tortoise?

tarepanda
Mar 25, 2011

Living the Dream

I just finished reading the thread and would like to point out the perfidy inherent in holding this kid's hand to your heart and telling him you're lifelong best buds and making him happy... and then turning around to sacrifice him to the bloody mouth fish god.

Also, voting floodcar choice D: be safe and take a nap. :P

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



Grimey Drawer

> HIRE AN INDIAN FERRYMAN

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Vote E. HOLD THE WHEEL

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


Canuck-Errant posted:

> CAULK THE CAR

We should do this.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




DBF Stab the carburetor and offer it up to the fish god. Eat what remains .

HardDiskD
May 6, 2009

HaHAHhehehehuhehahehhahahhaue




Grimey Drawer

Diog, is your car a ?


w: holy poo poo that was a big image

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013


Voting this Find a similarly stranded stranger and sacrifice them to Ashera

Kira Akashiya fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2013 around 04:16

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Hello stranger, have you heard the good word of Ashera?

vv: If there are people around do it anyway. If they ask why tell them Ashara demands blood. You could come out of this with your own cult.

Outrail fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2013 around 05:44

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



Grimey Drawer

If there's no one else around then cut your hand and dunk it into the water. Ashera demands blood.

Cat Wings
Oct 12, 2012


Hold the door.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004



G. Cry and scream for your Mother. This option can be combined with any of the above options .

Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY

Rahul posted:

G. Cry and scream for your Mother. This option can be combined with any of the above options .

Og Ethan Enkidel will overthrow the gods and establish himself as the almighty Onegod, while crying at the same time.

tarepanda
Mar 25, 2011

Living the Dream

This is kind of off-topic and I'm not sure where to ask, really, since the old thread (Madgod) is dead... but is there a complete archive of the story posts from the old thread? I tried reading it but it got really tedious going through pages of votes.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


Click the '?' under Diogenes' posts and you'll get all of his posts in that thread.

tarepanda
Mar 25, 2011

Living the Dream

Thanks!

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


You and Danal creep off from the camp, the firelight dwindling between the trees. You look around the strange forest and are filled with wonder. A day ago you were picking snails and now you are going to go be a hero with the son of a king!

You motion to Danal to stick close beside you. He keeps running off, but you are able to keep close to him.

"Sharur" you say to him with a grin. Danal says something you don't understand and then nods. Sharur, of course, being a magical club once owned by Enkidu which could let a man fly!

The two of you creep through the forest, looking behind trees, under rocks and in bushes.

After perhaps an hour, you pause for a moment and turn around.





You have no idea where you are or which way you came from. The chorus of birds and bugs no longer seems so friendly and exotic, but savage and alien. The night is still punctuated by occasional loud screams or other odd noises which cause all the other noises of the forest to briefly go silent. Before they seemed far away. Are they any closer now? Can you tell? WHATS THAT SHADOW-!

Just a shadow...

Maybe. Just like all of the other ones.

There is a brief look of panic on your face.

Danal catches it and looks around and seems to also realize that you are very lost. He grips your hand and looks up to you, he begins to stammer and seems to be asking a question but you are having difficulty understanding any of the words because of his tone, tears are whelling up in his eyes and he is starting to cry.

You might be able to tell the cardinals directions go by guessing at the moon, but you can't be sure.

You can PICK TWO or vote for the same idea, twice.

You...

OPTION A. Go East.

OPTION B. Go South.

OPTION C. Go North.

OPTION D. Go West.

OPTION E. Close your eyes and try to concentrate, to see if you can remember any hints on which way to go.

OPTION F. Try to calm down Danal.

OPTION G. Yell for help.

OPTION H. Also cry because you are afraid!

OPTION I. Pray to El for help(or one of the Sky Giants, Angels or whatever the hell they are, specify which, if you pick one instead of El).

OPTION J. Pray to Asherah for help.

OPTION K. Pray to Labaras for help.





OPTION L. Pray to Enkidu for help.

OPTION M. Climb a tree and see if that gives you any hints on where to go

OPTION N. Wait till dawn and try to hide in a bush with Danal, to hide from monsters

OPTION O. Climb a tree and carry Danal up, to hide from monsters

OPTION P. [REMOVED]

OPTION Q. [REMOVED]

OPTION R. Cut your palm with the giant tooth and rub it on your sea-shell necklace and make your very, very, very best guess at a divining ritual you saw your father do. You truly have no idea how he did it and will essentially be guessing, but, it might work!

OPTION S. Sacrifice Danal to Asherah to pray for protection and guidance

OPTION T. Yell out that you are Enkidu to scare away monsters!

OPTION U. You are not lost. You are HEROES looking for the magical club Sharur! Communicate this to Danal as best you can and keep playing!

OPTION V. Something else - Specify



EDIT: OPTION P AND Q WERE REMOVED. Your sleep deprived, post-flood narrator neglected an important detail making them moot.

You still have the spear you took with you, though it is larger and heavier than the sort you used for fishing.

Diogines fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2013 around 15:41

tarepanda
Mar 25, 2011

Living the Dream

Who is David?

IO

bonus hole boy
Aug 28, 2011


Voting option Q.

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


tarepanda posted:

Who is David?

IO

There is no David, there is only Zod.

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