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RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



Grimey Drawer

I know just how 4 year old us should handle it.

1) Cut some of the hair.
2) Look around at the everyone
3) Did we cut some of the hair? Good.
4) NOW we can start crying because honestly WTF!

Edit: May as well count this as a vote for C.

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Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

I choose to expose myself

Nap Ghost

G - An angry four year old will stab anyone with anything. I feel angry at him.

GoneWithTheTornado
Mar 27, 2013


C.

gently caress it, i have no idea, so i'll go with the kind-of-safe option.

Ixtlilton
Mar 10, 2012

How to Draw
by Rube Goldberg



J, cry and cut her hair without any words.

Flame112
Apr 21, 2011


I'm voting for C. We managed to get the words out to uncle, and then we had our breakdown. It's time to be strong again.

Paradox Personified
Mar 15, 2010

SoroScrew



Yep, mhm.

TenWren
Jan 22, 2012



A Darker Porpoise posted:

B is making the most sense to me. Uncle Jorah has obviously done something to calm Dad and now Dad is fairly calm in comparison to a few moments ago and is showing a form of genuine concern for us even if we don't fully understand why.

We're obviously gonna still be upset from what happened but Dad is paying attention to us now and wants us to do something and we've probably heard him going on and on about this Asherah fish guy quite a lot given his position in the village and he's worried we've upset them so best to ask for some forgiveness and do what Dad says.

I'm with this, so B. Why is Dad crying? Is fish guy going to cry too if we don't cut the hair? No one else start crying!

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

Screw you OP, ain't nobody gonna change my avatar.

G with H as a backup option in the event of g not getting any votes and h being up against some pussy option like c.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.


Changing my vote from H to H/G.

GoneWithTheTornado
Mar 27, 2013



"Discover the adventures of a pimp whose bling and smoothness is destined to shake up the very heavens themselves."

Genpei Turtle
Jul 20, 2007



E. It's more realistic for a four-year old.

If it wasn't too out of character, I'd want to vote to cut our own hair with the tooth just to gently caress with Dad though.

Brian Moser
Mar 11, 2012


Negative voting for C, cut that poo poo out you crazy people, it's gonna hurt us in the long run.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

I like A Terrible Person's idea, so put me down for that one.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Voting B. It seems like something we could do, and it looks like Dad will help us cut her hair. Also, it seems like the best option to diffuse the situation and score some points with Dad. Also, many of the other options seem like they would have harmful consequences to us/others. We need to chill Dad the gently caress out. Stop crying, Dad.

Also, this is a lot of heavy poo poo for a four year old to handle.

Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at May 23, 2013 around 00:49

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009



Voting B, but instead of screaming 'Ashera' or something, mumble out "Sorry Mr. Fishy"

Possibly like any 4 yr old would do after everyone's been crying cause Dads angry, but now things have calmed down slightly and Dads now asking you to apologize to his friend, who is a very important giant fish.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

C: I think the options are pretty clearly between C/B or just freaking out and doing nothing. We're 4, freaked out, and the guy who's pretty much the big man in charge of our life has told us to do something. Gonna cut that hair like we've been told, because we don't know what the gently caress is going on, so we'd better do what the adults are saying, but we're too confused and shaken up to do any crying out or pleading of our own accord. Try to stay mute, cut the hair and hope everything works out.

Unless it's common practice here to call out to Fishgod for things, and we're familiar with doing such. Then B, I guess, as it would be common sense.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Option C, she cut our hair, its only fair we cut hers!

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship


A heads up to folks new to Diogines' CYOA threads and a reminder to everyone else voting for my suggestions: most of my ideas tend to have serious negative consequences in the long run and/or help get us killed.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



C B. An eye for an eye. Some hair for some hair.

JT Jag fucked around with this message at May 23, 2013 around 01:49

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




A Terrible Person posted:

A heads up to folks new to Diogines' CYOA threads and a reminder to everyone else voting for my suggestions: most of my ideas tend to have serious negative hilarious consequences in the long run and/or help get us killed.

Don't knock yourself short; entertaining and obviously deadly choices are great. Just not two updates into a game.

The Bad Llama
Nov 22, 2004
The coke is just for color...

Going with option B because Dad is angry and yelling and everyone is mad.

We're 4 and very small and rather helpless overall. I think having a major figure in your life beating the hell out of another major figure in your life would be terrify.

I also personally thing that if we were to refuse to cut her hair, Father would kill Jalitha.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008
I like bread



Clapping Larry

Option B
This is gonna end up badly no matter what we do. To be honest it's kind of annoying having so little information.
Losing your hair in our fish religion means dying/damnation. So probably we cut Jalitha's hair and that marks her as a human sacrifice or whatever.
But it's the least bad option in the list.

Tubgirl Cosplay
Jan 10, 2011

by Ion Helmet


RandomPauI posted:

I know just how 4 year old us should handle it.

1) Cut some of the hair.
2) Look around at the everyone
3) Did we cut some of the hair? Good.
4) NOW we can start crying because honestly WTF!

Edit: May as well count this as a vote for C.

This sounds about right

Four-year-olds, dude.

Globofglob
Jan 14, 2008


Voting for B, it seems most likely to defuse the situation.

fordham
Oct 5, 2002

Your argument is invalid.


Toilet Rascal

Being 4 is hard.

Hobolicious
Oct 7, 2012

The military might of a country represents its national strength. Only when it builds up its military might in every way can it develop into a thriving country.


I gotta say H. Even Jorah looks mad at Dad, so gently caress him.

DarthRoblox
Nov 25, 2007
*rolls ankle* *gains 15lbs* *apologizes to TFLC* *rolls ankle*...

A

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Hair for the Hair God.

But no, all this yelling is just too much! C but immediately break down into sobs afterwards.

Mad Wack
Mar 27, 2008



S I C K O S




Pillbug

A - it's tough being 4, seeing blood and violence for the first time.

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009


Pochoclo posted:

Option B
This is gonna end up badly no matter what we do. To be honest it's kind of annoying having so little information.
Losing your hair in our fish religion means dying/damnation. So probably we cut Jalitha's hair and that marks her as a human sacrifice or whatever.
But it's the least bad option in the list.

B

I think it's just as likely that Papa here is using stone-age logic and thinks that if cutting our hair will defile us in the eyes of Asherah, cutting HER hair will defile her in the eyes of HER god.

Nolaterif
Jan 10, 2003



Meh, I'm going to go with B. I guess it's the scream/cry at the big fish to not beat other people up option? I figure it's making amends for whatever. Clearly dad thinks cutting our hair is wrong. While two wrongs don't make a right, cutting her hair seems fair.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Diogines posted:

"Grip tightly my son and CUT! Beg that Asherah will not hold you to account for the crimes of this witch!" your father says as he kneels over Jalitha and pulls her strange and pretty hair out straight for you to cut.

Jalitha's eyes open and she looks at you, she is still alive. She tries to smile but her face is badly bruised and her lips are bleeding. "It will be okay Sweetling" she says to you in a gentle tone.

Oh god.... Dad never said anything about cutting her hair. He just pulled her head back by the hair and said cut... NOOOOO!

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009


FoxTerrier posted:

Eh...yeah, but in fairness, Jalitha did pull a seriously dick move cutting our hair when she knew it was prohibited in the faith of the village. The whole thing was a bit Edgardo Mortara for my taste. Absolutely we need to keep her from being beaten again, but I don't feel any reason we should avoid crying out to our god on her behalf.

Well, that gives an interesting perspective to things. Still, let's give Jalitha the benefit of the doubt for now, since we're, you know, four.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree


(Attempt to)Cut our own throat while screaming apologies to Asherah. It is the only way to ensure Asherah forgives us.

HardDiskD
May 6, 2009

HaHAHhehehehuhehahehhahahhaue




Grimey Drawer

B.

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

Money And Power Through Homicide!



Option C She cut our hair, dad must want us to cut hers in return.

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008



Lets Cut dis bitCh('s hair)

Algid
Oct 9, 2007


I think if we cut her hair instead of killing her, it would show that we're also basically a heretic, and we're going to be exiled along with Jalitha.

Basically, we're about to become Ishmael.

C

We can start when we're about to die of dehydration in the desert.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Good news!

There are no actual deserts in the local region!

Even north where it is more arid, but, it is not really a desert and there are actual forests near you, such as the one you currently live in, near the beach.

Diogines fucked around with this message at May 23, 2013 around 03:30

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Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


Voting A because it's getting pretty weird here.

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