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my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Spending time with our mother (Something we've been neglecting an awful lot) is more important than this.

Yup. Seriously, even Tudya told us to spend more time with her.

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Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Diogines posted:

If anyone can do a count of the "starting a fire" votes I will start the update after. I do not have access to a spreadsheet during the day, even if I can write, so counting the votes is tougher. Any volunteers?

The "what is your general survival plan" vote is more complicated and will not be resolved till at least after the fire vote, so we do not need a full count on that yet.

I am starting a Fire count, but it will take a bit.

Sogol fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2013 around 01:14

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Votes hand counted for the fire vote. Voting closed on the fire vote. Update coming soonish.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


You finish gathering up the wood and setting up the fire pit. Your teeth chatter from the cold.

You close your eyes and grip two of the sticks tightly. All around you is a chorus is the night, a symphony of chirping insects. You are cold. You are tired. Very, very tired. Snarls leans against one of your legs for warmth and lets out a sad doggy whine, he is cold and tired as well. He got you here and now he is depending on you for his own survival.

You bow your head and offer sincere prayers to El, asking that he help you now, though you know in the back if your mind you have some doubts as to whether or not this could work.

You truly want a fire, you strike the two sticks together and say the words "VAYAHI OR!"

And...

And...

And...

And...

AND...

AND...

Nothing happens.

A fire does not start, not even an ember.

You try again.

"VAYAHI OR!"

The sticks remain distinctly not burnt. Your teeth chatter involuntarily and you shiver, you are cold. Snarls lets out a small puppy whine as he presses against your leg for warmth.

What possibly caused you to think you could mirror the miraculous powers of someone like Tudiya?

1. Are you going to waste more time and make more noise by trying again?
A. This is stupid. No. Time to go to sleep, cold.
B. No. drat, I wish it worked, time to go to sleep and freeze my rear end off again.
C. I... I really believed I could but I guess not. drat. Well, snuggle close boy, time to go to sleep. I... I am sorry I let you down Snarls.
D. I try again.
E. Something else. Fill in.


2. As I try again, what am I thinking of?(Only if you voted to try again)
F. Nothing in particular.
G. I don't think this will work but it is worth another shot.
H. I want a fire because I want to have magical powers!
I. I am thinking this is a ridiculous waste of time and why did we spend two rounds of voting failing to make a fire when we could be doing hero poo poo or survival stuff?
J. I dragged poor Snarls out here when I could have left him home, now he is freezing his butt off too and I feel guilty!
K. J AND I WON'T let Snarls down! I will make fire DAMNIT!
L. I want a fire because I am cold!
M. I want a fire because I want a god drat fire! Why the hell are you asking me these stupid questions?!?
N. It is complete bullshit that I am out here and freezing my rear end off! Mom and Tudiya and everyone else taught me all those awesome hero stories and I can't do even make a fire and that SUCKS and its totally unfair I lost the parental lottery and don't have the proper heritage!
O. gently caress EVERY PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO MAKES ME PUT UP WITH CRYPTIC BULLSHIT! NOW I AM FREEZING MY BALLS OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! I WANT SOME EL drat FIRE AND I WANT IT NOW, DAMNIT!
P. FIIIIIRE!
Q. FIIIIIRE! FIIIIIIIRE! FIIIIIIRE! gently caress YOU! THATS WHY! FIIIIIIIRRRRREEEEEE! FIIIIRRREEEEEE!
R. I believe I can do this!
S. I BELIEVE I can do this!
T. I will make a fire!
U. I WILL make a fire!
V. EEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL!
W. ASSSSSHHHHHHERRRAAAAH!
X. Diog is a troll for wasting our time with so many stupid details for something which is impossible and is probably laughing at us. gently caress you and gently caress your sign to Annubis, it was not that funny!
Y. Diog needs time to work on the next big update which is taking time so he is wasting our time with stupid bullshit in the interim!
Z. I think Diog lied to us when he said we were not distinct, individual voices in a head Denziroh-style, why else is he going into so much detail on this?

Something else. Fill in.

Diogines fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 21:03

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions



gently caress that noise, we're not letting Snarls get doggy frostbite!

1. E. Double down and try again with GUSTO.

2. K + Q + U K is the primary sentiment however.

For what it's worth I think Enki initially had doubts about his ability to make a fire, but realizing now how cold/miserable Snarks is with his failure has pushed him to say 'gently caress It' and try 200x harder this time.

vvvOh no, poor Sogol counted for nothing.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Here is what I got for the Fire count through 'Daned' (20 voters)

pre:
8- no how
A	B	C	D	E	F	G
2	3	5	2	2	0	4

9- Ayes
H	I
9	10

10- Don't hate the Praya...
J	K	L	M	N
4	3	3	3	5

11- tell me what you want
O	P	Q	R
5	5	6	3

12- what you really, really want
S	T	U	V	W	X	Y	Z	Za	Zb
2	0	0	5	2	2	2	2	2	2
Notes:[list]
[*]1Gx3 to proceed as did Tudiya
[*]some Obelisk Bic voters did not re-vote
[*]13 no analysis for 13

Edit: for posterities sake I guess. Enkidel the Great Historian?

Sogol fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 17:34

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree


Diogines posted:

You bow your head and offer sincere prayers to El, asking that he help you now, though you know in the back if your mind you have some doubts as to whether or not this could work.


in the back if your mind you have some doubts

doubts



1. E. Another prayer to El. And try again, this time concentrating on summoning fire. Or summoning the words into reality.

2. K, without the guilt. He's our responsibility.

Lanky Coconut Tree fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 18:47

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. E - Try to make a fire the mundane way, muttering "Vayahi Or" repeatedly as a silent curse to ourselves
2. K + U

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

D

K, Q, V because now we have started and we are stubborn as hell. We are so stubborn that we have walked ourselves into unconsciousness. We are so stubborn that we have herded a growing 6 fingered mutant for years. We are so stubborn that we have learned math and writing when told flatly that we could not. We are loving stubborn even in the face of evidence. It is not something we do. It is something we are.

Edit: minus the implied guilt of K(J). Responsibility, yes. Guilt, maybe not so much.

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


1. D
2. U - I WILL make that fire. LET THERE BE LIGHT!

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

the_steve posted:

1. E - Try to make a fire the mundane way, muttering "Vayahi Or" repeatedly as a silent curse to ourselves
2. K + U


This is pretty funny. Still voting B so we can move on.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


1. E: This is dumb as hell. If we have ever heard anything about MUNDANE ways of making a fire that we can pull off in the next five minutes without hunting high and low for materials, try that real quick. If we don't know any better options, try rubbing the two bits of wood together really fast for a while (like fifteen seconds at most) and see if that works. Mutter prayers to El/Vayahi Or while doing so because why the hell not. Once that almost inevitably fails, curl next in the least-cold spot we can find and make sure Snarls is tucked in right next to our belly, benefiting as much as possible from our body heat.

One of these days Diog is going to put a literal wall in our path and will include, right at the end, the option of headbutting our way through it while shouting to El. On that day, Enkidel will concuss the living hell out of himself.

Save Target As
Oct 13, 2008



my dad posted:

1. D
2. U - I WILL make that fire. LET THERE BE LIGHT!

This. gently caress this cold. WE WANT FIRE. If that doesn't work I just want to hold my doggy close and pass out.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.


Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Spending time with our mother (Something we've been neglecting an awful lot) is more important than this.

Pssh. Our mother doesn't know any cool hero stuff. What's she going to teach us? How to make seaweed cakes? Sorry mom, busy being a goddamn fledgling hero here.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Tomn posted:

1. E: This is dumb as hell. If we have ever heard anything about MUNDANE ways of making a fire that we can pull off in the next five minutes without hunting high and low for materials, try that real quick. If we don't know any better options, try rubbing the two bits of wood together really fast for a while (like fifteen seconds at most) and see if that works. Mutter prayers to El/Vayahi Or while doing so because why the hell not. Once that almost inevitably fails, curl next in the least-cold spot we can find and make sure Snarls is tucked in right next to our belly, benefiting as much as possible from our body heat.

One of these days Diog is going to put a literal wall in our path and will include, right at the end, the option of headbutting our way through it while shouting to El. On that day, Enkidel will concuss the living hell out of himself.

If you missed it this, which was an option earlier, as best as I can guess, you tried this because you did not think you could do any other method. There is no existing fire to use, there is no flint(a method you know how to do) and when you left Athar as a child, you had not yet learned how to make a fire drill, which is more complicated than rubbing two sticks together.


Also I promise to include your wall related solution the next time you have that problem! The choices are meant to cover a range of choices and you can almost always order off menu, which frequently wins.

Diogines fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 18:29

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


1 D
2 U and I would be a horrible liar if I did not also add O and I

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Yes I have been suggesting we start a cult:

in the name of El. True it may have diminishing returns since we probably be less and less able to remember anything that happens while we are unconscious, but I figure that goes with the whole cult territory.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer



edit: accidentally had L in instead of K.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship


Screw it.

1D

Diogines posted:

The sticks remain distinctly not burnt. Your teeth chatter involuntarily and you shiver, you are cold.

Are we really just cold, or are we actually getting somewhere?

Diogines posted:

The voice has a strange physical quality, almost as if you could reach out and touch them. You have been waiting for this opportunity and this time you do reach out and try to touch them. You cannot see them, but you do indeed touch them, you can feel them in your grasp, though unseen to your eyes and as you do, the speech becomes slowed, your teeth rattle in your mouth and you can hear the voice in their vibrations.

The tighter you grip the invisible substance, the slower the speech and the more your teeth rattle. Finally when you let go, your teeth cease to rattle and the voice has a normal speed again.

2K

*edit*
Just throwing this in as an edit because it's not exactly important to the current vote.

Tomn posted:

I don't mind being nicer to her simply for the sake of being a compassionate human being, mind you, and really the whole point of compassion is that you should be nice to people without expecting any reward, but I don't know that we should expect a great deal of change in our relations with Keza even if we do try to be nicer to her.

This is pretty much all I was really thinking. Be nice, learn a little more about her, etc. Not to the point of eating up our time for hanging out with Jalitha or anyone else, but more like saying nice things to her in the halls, thanking her for her help, asking how she's doing and actually trying to be interested; that sort of thing.

As far as her liking slavery or having no other options for living quarters... wouldn't it be nice if a certain someone convinced Tudiya to elevate her to a paid position like Chief Custodian or Royal Matron or something like that, with the option to leave at will and/or retire with a pension?

I'm just curious what her story is and, lacking any real info, my own assumptions about her background make me feel bad for her. Isn't helping the downtrodden the whole point of being a Mighty Hero, anyway?

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Spending time with our mother (Something we've been neglecting an awful lot) is more important than this.

my dad posted:

Yup. Seriously, even Tudya told us to spend more time with her.

Who says that being friendly to someone we live with has to take a significant amount of time? Does hanging out with Jalitha really have to take precedence to the exclussion of all other options?

A Terrible Person fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 18:54

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

1. D + remember how Tudiya's VAYAHI OR felt, remember how it felt to hold powerful words in our grip
2. V


Well, if I can't get a divine lighter, I will figure out how to make divine fire.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


Oh yeah, also voting 2. X: Diog is almost certainly trolling and laughing his head off. The Anubis sign WAS funny, though.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


A Terrible Person posted:

Screw it.

1D


Are we really just cold, or are we actually getting somewhere?


2K

It is late at night and you are tired.

It is cold outside.

You and Snarls gathered up some wood and built a small fire pit. A little more time passed. You became colder from the temperature dropping a bit more and being more tired.

It is cold.

You are cold.

Your puppy is cold, sad and discouraged because he is relying on you and you have so far failed to help warm him up.

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer


You could probably have cribbed off of one of mine, but I guess I haven't been linking them in the thread

On that note, it's Thanksgiving up here in Canada, so I probably won't be able to count votes through this weekend either.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


Diogines posted:

It is late at night and you are tired.

It is cold outside.

You and Snarls gathered up some wood and built a small fire pit. A little more time passed. You became colder from the temperature dropping a bit more and being more tired.

It is cold.

You are cold.

Your puppy is cold, sad and discouraged because he is relying on you and you have so far failed to help warm him up.

Guys, if you REALLY want to warm Snarls up right now and atone for your failure to do so earlier? Snarls is Luke Skywalker. You are the Tauntaun.

Or you could do the reasonable thing and just curl up around Snarls to act as a blanket and wind shield as much as possible, but I'm just saying, seppuku is always an option.

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

1D.
2K.


I like to think of Enkidel as a kid who is curious and probably a little too stubborn for his own good. He didn't stop his bow training the moment things got a little tough, so he's not going to give up the firemaking thing straightaway, even if it's physically impossible for him to ever learn the skill.

Snarls is probably on his mind too. He loves that dog, and unknowingly dragged him into this manhood ritual that may possibly end up killing them both. There's got to be some feelings of guilt and responsibility there.

Obtuse Angol
Apr 28, 2010


Wish I could stay current with this, I've missed some good stuff (seriously, guys, dog piss?); curse my obviously jam-packed and very fulfilling personal life!

If we're still able to, I'd like to ask the Obelix obelisk something like:

"Say, Zep, has anyone else ever claimed ownership of land in your domain, seems like that's probably not a situation you'd let play our for long, right? On a totally unrelated subject, have you ever met anyone called Azzazel, what's the deal with that guy?"

Just out of curiosity, really.

1E - Use your outside voice Enkidel

When we touched the words (finally!), did we get any sensation or impression from them other than the shakes? Maybe as if there was more being communicated than the words alone would imply.

If possible, we should not try saying "Vayahi Or", but saying "Vayahi Or" - try to duplicate whatever heavy quality Tudiya and the ZepAnsaphone impart to the words (on the subject of which, breaking the oath is the Worst Idea and I pre-emptively vote against doing anything that does so).

2R - I believe! that we can reproduce observable phenomena, which is sufficiently indistinguishable from magic! (I see this as the difference between learning to turn on a light and trying to light the room with pure willpower).


(edit: choice letter)

Obtuse Angol fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2013 around 21:52

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

the_steve posted:

1. E - Try to make a fire the mundane way, muttering "Vayahi Or" repeatedly as a silent curse to ourselves
2. K + U


I have to say, though I am not positive we would actually do this, this is maybe my favorite plan. Wonderful comedy value. Saying it all different ways, waving our hands, disgusted, cursing. Too good. It has the added benefit that since we have noooo idea what we are doing anyway we could just as easily blow ourselves up, light Snarl's tail on fire and ignite the surrounding forest doing this as anything else.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN


1: D

2: O


The power of RAGE can win this one!

OhYo
Apr 13, 2006



FoxTerrier posted:

1. E. Double down and try again with GUSTO.
2. K V P

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Count good through OhYo (15 votes)

pre:
1.  And now I will pull a rabbit from my hat!
A	B	C	D	E	F	G
0	0	0	9	6	0	0
rawr!
2.  Oops!  Wrong hat!
H	I	J	K	L	M	N	O	P
0	0	0	8	0	0	0	1	1

Q	R	S	T	U	V	W	X	Y	Z
2	1	0	0	6	3	0	0	0	0
Notes:
  • Several votes/comments in favor of muttering
  • Several in favor of the 'double down' approach
Source Post for Options

(I have a pretty busy weekend into early next week, but will try to keep up with counts.)

Sogol fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2013 around 00:07

Daned
Jan 14, 2008



1. B
2. K

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Voting plan SerSpook

Also count good through Daned (I might be horribly wrong. please edit any errors I have made to your votes)

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008



Ham Wrangler

1.
C. Time for puppy snuggles! It shouldn't be any colder in the forest than it was out in the scrub.

E.? Uh, what kind of forest is it? If there is moss, leaf litter, or fir/cedar type softwood trees with low branches, we could in a few minutes gather materials to at least make a soft(ish) mat to sleep on and insulate us from the cold ground. Not as comfy as the real bed we've grown used to, but it would help.


If we can get something like this it is the best. We could make a mat to sleep on, and put a few of the branches over us to help retain heat. You don't have to be very strong to pull branches off trees.

Facebook Aunt fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2013 around 09:43

falcon2424
May 2, 2005



Angela Christine posted:

1.
C. Time for puppy snuggles! It shouldn't be any colder in the forest than it was out in the scrub.

E.? Uh, what kind of forest is it? If there is moss, leaf litter, or fir/cedar type softwood trees with low branches, we could in a few minutes gather materials to at least make a soft(ish) mat to sleep on and insulate us from the cold ground. Not as comfy as the real bed we've grown used to, but it would help.


We we can get something like this it is the best. We could make a mat to sleep on, and put a few of the branches over us to help retain heat. You don't have to be very strong to pull branches off trees.

I like this plan. We tried prayer. Now for the next thing.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\


Plan Double Down.

El is a compassionate god. We will create fire because it is out of a sense of compassion and responsibility for Snarls. Not guilt. Duty. LET THERE BE LIGHT.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Voting closes in two hours.

NinjaPete
Nov 14, 2004

Hail to the speaker,
Hail to the knower,
Joy to him who has understood,
Delight to those who have listened.

- Hávamál


1 - D

2 - J


And then N-Q, increasing in anger and frustration until we pass out from being so mad .

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Count good through Ninja Pete:

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


As the cold sets into your bones, Snarls huddles close to one of your legs for what warmth he can, shivering alongside you. His ears flatten to the side of the head and he looks up at you with sad puppy dog eyes, he lets out a sad whine.





Why did you drag him out of his comfortable home, to freeze in the middle of nowhere with you?


"Vayahi or!" you yell as you strike two sticks together again.



Nothing.



"Vayahi or!" you yell as you strike two sticks together again.



Nothing.



It is all on you. There is no one to give you food. There is no one to give you shelter. There is no one to give you safety. There is no one to keep you warm. Your entire life you have relied upon others to take care of you and now, you must care for yourself.

And Snarls.... and you are failing.





"Vayahi or!" you yell, striking the sticks together again.



You are exhausted and struggle to keep your eyes open, your teeth chatter from the cold. You walked through the cold the last night, utterly miserable and you feel yourself wearing out.



"Vay-" *YAWN* "-ahi or!"



Nothing.

Your hands ache each time you strike the sticks together.



"Vaya... vaya...."












Huh....? Wha....? You chin rests upon your neck as you fade off to sleep. You struggle to keep your eyes open.


"Vayahi or!" You try to strike the sticks together. You fail to do so, missing as you struggle to stay awake.





































"Va....." you swing one of the sticks and miss.

























You are jolted slightly as you feel teeth lightly clamp onto your calf, it is Snarls who looks up at you with sad eyes.





"Vay... vay...." you try to steady yourself.


"Vayahi..."


you grip the sticks as tight as you can manage to in your exhausted state.



Vayahi or....


You feel as if you have just been punched in the gut as all of the air in your chest empties out of you. The trees in front of you are tilting and seem to be shifting to a horizontal position.

No... make that... horizontal.







The ground rushes up to meet you.










































































































































































































































































































































































































"You know, I think that is a rather good idea, why don't I ask them if...."


What is that voice?


"No no no, well. Perhaps. Do you really think so?"


Half of a conversation?


"Wait... oh no... its... its... look, just don't tell them! I'll handle this alright! Just... just go, okay?"


"What? Yes! Of course! Just go and keep silent about it!"



You feel the warm sun on your back, a cool breeze and a highly comforting smell of the sea fills your nose. You recognize the voice now, it is uncle Jorah.






You are laying on your back in the sand on the beach near Athar, your head in Uncle Jorah's lap.

Uncle Jorah sighs as he looks down at you. "I... I... come ooooon! You CAN'T keep doing this! I.. I.. I... We need to get you a helmet or something!"

What? You try to open your mouth but you are still exhausted.

"And... please don't take that bit from last time too far. I shouldn't of said anything at all. Just... just be nice to others okay? Nothing too extreme, please and none of that eye for an eye nonsense! Just... just be nice, okay Creature?"

Before you can ask Uncle Jorah what he means, he taps your forehead and...





































































You smell smoke and feel a slobbery tongue on your face.


You open your eyes. It is morning. Snarls is laying on your chest, he jumps off when he sees you have opened your eyes and barks twice, then wags his tail happily.





The embers of a dying fire lay in the fire pit beside you.






You are a little groggy from having woken up, but it looks like a nights sleep was just what you needed, though you are hungry, very, very, very hungry, as if you have gone a whole day without eating.


You have made your plan. You will gather what food and water you can and then, head for the coast, to ultimately make your way to Zepath alongside the river, but for now...


1. What the hell just happened!?!?!?
A. Fill in the blank. If there is anything you want to do in light of... whatever just happened, specify what you want to do.

B. That was um... that was something, yeah, but I got a schedule to keep. Bring on the wilderness survival montage, which will skip ahead till the next noteworthy encounter, problem or interesting "thing" I will find.

Diogines fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2013 around 22:05

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Neraren
Sep 15, 2006
Random Nerd #753897

A) Stoke the fire and take it with us.

1) We don't want to have to do that again.
2) A fiery branch is the best weapon available to us
3) Managing to keep a fire going for a month that we set with magic powers could potentially be an offering.

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