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the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

ask Snarls: "Was I talking or mumbling in my sleep? One bark for yes, two for no."

edit: drat, there goes my burning bush theory.

the_steve fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2013 around 07:09

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Snarls barks twice.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004



Ask Sebek Snarls:

"Who's a good dog?"

Crudus
Nov 14, 2006



I think he probably sensed the presence of some kind of spiritual being that wasn't materially visible, which is why he is confused by some of those questions.

Let's timeskip.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Crudus posted:

I think he probably sensed the presence of some kind of spiritual being that wasn't materially visible, which is why he is confused by some of those questions.

Let's timeskip.
Agreed. But not the full month. Just to the next relevant event. We're keeping the fire going if possible and focusing on sustenance right now.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtkdo7bOmJc

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship


Diogines posted:

1. What the hell just happened!?!?!?
A. Fill in the blank. If there is anything you want to do in light of... whatever just happened, specify what you want to do.

Whatever happened, it was amazing. I'm on board for heading to the coast and bringing the fire with us. The only other thing I'd want to do is keep trying to magic up more fire, but only when we're well-rested and in a comfortable sitting position.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


You have had a number of companions in your life, including Danal and Snarls but now you have a new companion and his name is Hunger. He is a raw enemy who sits in your gut, in the back of your mind, upon your shoulders and is ever present, dragging you down, taunting you and not giving you a moment's peace.

You and Snarls drank from puddles of disgusting stagnant water pooled up in tree branches and ate a few handful of berries you could find but they were few in number and their taste, foul. You managed to keep the fire alive, but on your second night in the forest were awaken by a terrified Snarls who communicated to you through Doggy sign language, two things.

1. Beloved-Master-And-Bestest-Forever-Man-Friend-Father-Master, shhhhhh be very, very, very, very quiet.

You obliged him and held your breathe.

2. Beloved-Master-And-Bestest-Forever-Man-Friend-Father-Master. Grab some fire and then run for your life or we are going to die!!!

You did as Snarls suggested and ran for it, west, out of the treeline as swift as you could, a torch in hand. When you were far from the trees, you looked back and saw a pair of red eyes at the edge of the forest looking at you, it's form hinting in the moon light.





It was about half the size of the one you saw years ago. Perhaps a juvenile? Still, even it dwarfed you and in your exhausted state you walked away. It did not follow.

Fire in hand and little else, you made your way away and after a few hours, made a new firepit in the wilderness and then went to sleep.

That was three days ago. You would be dead by now were it not for Snarl's nose which beyond it's monster finding capacity has helped you find a reliable source of water. At first you could not understand Snarls insistence you drink a large, green plant which had no leaves and was covered in sharp barbs but when you finally tried to cut it open with a rock, you found water inside. You and Snarls both sated your thirst, though the water tasted truly awful, almost like piss.





You have not found anything else to eat, since. It is night again, three days since you left the forest and the dull ache in your stomach gives you no peace. You walked during the day and slept at night. You have come to have what you believe to be a greater understanding of how your sandals work during these three miserable days.

While you walk, you do not seem to gain any new hunger, thirst, tiredness or fatigue. When you stop walking, all such feelings accrued as you walked flood back into you. It seems to do nothing to decrease tiredness, fatigue, thirst or hunger incurred before you started walking. You realize that if you had food and water, the sandals would be an unrivalled way to travel long distances, but also realize that without regular breaks, you would likely collapse at the end of each day as the fatigue hits you all at once.

It is about an hour past sundown. Snarls indicated to you about an hour past that he smelled food and so you followed him. As you crest a hill, you see the food in the fading light, a few hundred yards ahead.

Three jackals each eating the carcass of a goat which is already half consumed. They take no notice of you as spy upon them. You have your clothes, your torch and precious little else. Your torch is a tree branch about two feet long, you have tied what scrubby vegetation you can to it to keep it going. Snarls looks up at you with sad puppy dog eyes, he is starving, as are you.

1. You...
A. Ignore the dangerous jackals, go around, keep going and hope to find other food.

B. Dinner time.


2. As to the jackals you...
C. Run at them, scream while waving your arms and hope to scare them off so you can get the goat carcass.

D. Try to sneak up on them and try to kill one. Jackal is on the menu.

E. On the trip from Athar, I saw Tudiya, several times, whistle to attract wild animals, mostly deer, which walked over to him, perfectly calm and in a daze. He snapped their necks and we had dinner. I try that on the jackals.

F. I try to do a magical scary whistle to scare them off. I never saw Tudiya do that, I am improvising.

G. We leave them be and go away, but I am desperate enough to try to magic whistle up dinner, hopefully a goat or something, not a jackal.

H. Ask El for food.

I. Ask Azzazel for food.

J. Ask Asherah for food.

K. Ask Snarls for food

L. Eat Snarls.

M. Hey, look, it's a seaweed cakes bush! And a pitcher of beer! I go have that!

N. Wait- its... its gone. It was just there a second ago! I swear I just saw it!

O. I am probably lucid enough to realize I am having starvation based hallucinations.

P. But I don't care! I hallucinate myself up some nice grub and chow down!

Q. Something else. Fill in.

3. If you voted to go after the goat or jackals, do you have Snarls help you, or keep out of the way?

R. Out of the way.
S. I want him with me, helping me.

Neraren
Sep 15, 2006
Random Nerd #753897

1) B, We're on our last legs here, we won't have a better opportunity.

2) H and C, Pray and then scare them off. The fire should be enough to shoo them.

2) S, There's not a safe place we can leave Snarls to wait, and he's just as hungry as we are. Keep him close and let him help.


E: We should totally try the whistling thing, but not when we're already on the verge of starvation. Making the fire drained us a lot; if the whistle is the same we'll probably pass out and get eaten by the jackals.

Neraren fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2013 around 20:32

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions



1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.

Tax Inductions
Jul 9, 2007

I carry refreshments to the good guys
I made the good guys some home fries


B - We need food to live, because we're human

C - Unless these jackals are totally unlike those in the real world, they will definitely scatter from a 7 foot yelling dude with a torch.

S - Keep him close, don't let them separate us. We don't want Snarls to end up as their consolation prize.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Neraren posted:

1) B, We're on our last legs here, we won't have a better opportunity.

2) H and C, Pray and then scare them off. The fire should be enough to shoo them.

2) S, There's not a safe place we can leave Snarls to wait, and he's just as hungry as we are. Keep him close and let him help.


E: We should totally try the whistling thing, but not when we're already on the verge of starvation. Making the fire drained us a lot; if the whistle is the same we'll probably pass out and get eaten by the jackals.

Yeah, sure, this seems like the plan. Seconding.

Edit: Although, frankly, I'm amazed this 'carry the fire' plan worked; torches aren't just branches, ordinary wood burns out or extinguishes very quickly, whatever scrub we might have attached, and I'm afraid waving our smouldering stick around is just going to extinguish it all the faster.

Theglavwen fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2013 around 20:41

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

1B.
2D.
3R.


The more meat, the better.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

Neraren posted:

1) B, We're on our last legs here, we won't have a better opportunity.

2) H and C, Pray and then scare them off. The fire should be enough to shoo them.

2) S, There's not a safe place we can leave Snarls to wait, and he's just as hungry as we are. Keep him close and let him help.


E: We should totally try the whistling thing, but not when we're already on the verge of starvation. Making the fire drained us a lot; if the whistle is the same we'll probably pass out and get eaten by the jackals.

do this

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

Mr. Wednesday posted:

B - We need food to live, because we're human

C - Unless these jackals are totally unlike those in the real world, they will definitely scatter from a 7 foot yelling dude with a torch.

S - Keep him close, don't let them separate us. We don't want Snarls to end up as their consolation prize.

Sounds good.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Theglavwen posted:

Yeah, sure, this seems like the plan. Seconding.

Edit: Although, frankly, I'm amazed this 'carry the fire' plan worked; torches aren't just branches, ordinary wood burns out or extinguishes very quickly, whatever scrub we might have attached, and I'm afraid waving our smouldering stick around is just going to extinguish it all the faster.
Bits of some of the scrubby bushes out here burn rather well, you appeared to get lucky in that regard, lacking rags and any flammable liquids to soak them in.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


FoxTerrier posted:

1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.

Voting this.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE



Nap Ghost

Rahul posted:

Ask Sebek Snarls:

"Who's a good dog?"

Ask Snarls: Does asking "Who is a good boy?" a lot make you annoyed?

Save Target As
Oct 13, 2008



FoxTerrier posted:

1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.

Voting this. I'm worried about this, but if we have to fight, we need to focus on killing one ASAP. Hopefully that will put fear in the others to run, then we'd have hopefully enough food for at least a day or two after the initial goat feast.

WhiteOutMouse
Jul 29, 2010

will blow your mind.


Dio: How big are these beasts? How big are they compared to Snarls?

Big Bug Hug
Nov 19, 2002
I'm with stupid*

Slaan posted:

Ask Snarls: Does asking "Who is a good boy?" a lot make you annoyed?

Of course not! He's a dog.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008



Ham Wrangler

Stop talking to the dog, you're making us look crazy.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


As you contemplate eating for the first time in days, you pause for a moment as you spy upon the jackals. You look to Snarls and very quietly ask him if it bothers him when you ask him if he is a good boy.

He looks back to you, Beloved-Master-And-Bestest-Forever-Man-Friend-Father-Master-Scratcher-Of-The-Belly-In-Ooooh-Just-The-Right-Spot and very quietly licks your face.

Well, that answers that.

Then he holds one paw on your mouth, indicating you should be quiet and alert the jackals to your presence.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Theglavwen posted:

Yeah, sure, this seems like the plan. Seconding.

Edit: Although, frankly, I'm amazed this 'carry the fire' plan worked; torches aren't just branches, ordinary wood burns out or extinguishes very quickly, whatever scrub we might have attached, and I'm afraid waving our smouldering stick around is just going to extinguish it all the faster.

The fire is the flame of our belief in El, and it shall burn brightly for eternity! As long as our faith is strong, the torch shall be as well!

But El also likes people that help themselves, and he gave us this fire for a reason. I'm with Plan Nararen

Neraren posted:

1) B, We're on our last legs here, we won't have a better opportunity.

2) H and C, Pray and then scare them off. The fire should be enough to shoo them.

2) S, There's not a safe place we can leave Snarls to wait, and he's just as hungry as we are. Keep him close and let him help.


E: We should totally try the whistling thing, but not when we're already on the verge of starvation. Making the fire drained us a lot; if the whistle is the same we'll probably pass out and get eaten by the jackals.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Two of the jackals are about two and a half feet tall at the shoulder, the other is a little over three feet at the shoulder, with a length to match,bigger than Snarls.

UppaTree
May 3, 2013



FoxTerrier posted:

1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.

This

We are seven fuckmothering feet tall, and a litrle crazy, and a lot desperate. On a scale from hunger to HUNGER! we're sitting at Many Lots. Also? We have a dog, so they don't even outnumber us that much.

Jackals are scavengers. Unless they suck at finding food even more than we do, they'll find other places to be.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

UppaTree posted:

This

We are seven fuckmothering feet tall, and a litrle crazy, and a lot desperate. On a scale from hunger to HUNGER! we're sitting at Many Lots. Also? We have a dog, so they don't even outnumber us that much.

Jackals are scavengers. Unless they suck at finding food even more than we do, they'll find other places to be.

Pretty much. Jackals are synonymous with cowardliness, and we are bigger than they are. We also burn, and that will play into them running the gently caress away. Make a lot of noise, wave the torch at them. If we can, kill one but that's not really a priority here. We just want their meal, eating them would just be a bonus.

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009


FoxTerrier posted:

1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.

Yupp. Food!

OhYo
Apr 13, 2006



FoxTerrier posted:

1. B. Dinner time

2. C. Half a goat is still plenty, and hopefully scavengers like jackals will flee from our fire without much fuss.

3. S. BUT keep him close to us where we can keep him as safe as possible.
In for this. I wonder if our Ophluteim would have come in handy here.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW


Grimey Drawer

Diogines posted:


Then he holds one paw on your mouth, indicating you should be quiet and alert the jackals to your presence.

Daaaaw

Anyway BDS Come on guys we can take 'em!

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

1. You...
B. Dinner time.
2. As to the jackals you...
D. Try to sneak up on them and try to kill one. Jackal is on the menu.
3. If you voted to go after the goat or jackals, do you have Snarls help you, or keep out of the way?
R. Out of the way.



Diogines posted:

Then he holds one paw on your mouth, indicating you should be quiet and alert the jackals to your presence.


Snarls wants us to sneak up on those jackals. That can mean one thing. He wants us to eat those jackals.


QUESTION: What the heck is Enkidel going to use to kill a jackal? He has fire, which will burn and scare them, but not kill. Do we have a sharp stick, stone, or something?

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Q ummm... Azzazel told us not to eat goats. Flat out. So no goat eating. Yes I know we are starving. Punishing the jackals though would be in. Not sure how. Useless I know. Just want to remember Azz's admonition.

Kill and eat a jackal. (Ptooey). Honor and bury/burn the goat.

At the very least we should apologize to Azz before eating any goat. It was dead already, etc.

I am working so not much time until later

Sogol fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2013 around 23:19

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008



Ham Wrangler

Another vote for BCS

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Sogol posted:

Q ummm... Azzazel told us not to eat goats. Flat out. So no goat eating. Yes I know we are starving. Punishing the jackals though would be in. Not sure how. Useless I know. Just want to remember Azz's admonition.


The goat is already dead.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Sogol posted:

Q ummm... Azzazel told us not to eat goats. Flat out. So no goat eating. Yes I know we are starving. Punishing the jackals though would be in. Not sure how. Useless I know. Just want to remember Azz's admonition.
He told us to treat his goats well. This goat is already dead, slain by another's hand. We can do this goat an honor by eating of it and then properly disposing of its remains, instead of letting it rot out on the field.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

QUESTION: What the heck is Enkidel going to use to kill a jackal? He has fire, which will burn and scare them, but not kill. Do we have a sharp stick, stone, or something?

You have your fists, feet and a flaming tree branch about two feet long which may double as a club.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004

I love you boy, One Pack, always.


Lipstick Apathy

BCS

I think our best chance is to startle the jackals and drive them off. Definitely don't pray to El like a babby. Maybe charge the big one and smack it in the face with our flaming club, try and scare the leader off.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


You make a series of hand gestures to Snarls who appears to understand you perfectly and gives his nod of approval and understanding to your plan.

You bow your head for a moment and offer a quiet prayer to El to aid you.

With the last light of the evening. above you, you run over the top of the hill towards the jackals below, screaming loudly, waving both of your arms, your torch in one hand, Snarls beside you and barking loudly!

One of the jackals gives a frightened yip as soon as you appear and runs.

The second jackal runs away in fear as you get closer.

You are now 25 feet away and third jackals stands over it's prize, the half eaten goat carcass and growing at you. This jackal is the largest of the three, about three feet at the shoulder with a length to match.

It stands over the goat stares you in the eyes, lifts the edge of it's lip and growls menacingly at you. All of it's fur stands up on end and it suddenly seem a bit larger.

...menacing spikes sprout from the edge of it's tail, ones you are certain were not there a moment ago.

...and a third eye opens in the middle of it's forehead and stares as you with hatred.

There are many monsters in the wilds and it seems you have found one. There are many beasts which are known to breed and many which are singular horrors and many which are one off variants of known beasts. The world is filled with a great variety of monsters, in every color of the rainbow. You have never heard of whatever this thing is, you know of no three eyed jackals with barbed tails.

Its third eye may simply be cosmetic, or it might shoot fire or charm you or El only knows what else. It's tail barbs may be fixed in place, shoot out, or even be poisoned.

Your stomach answers before you can even ask, it is nearly all that is on your mind.

Just how hungry are you?



1. You....

A. Throw the torch at it!

B. Yell louder, shake your arms and try to scare it off.

C. Staring contest till it looses nerve and runs.

D. C, and I piss in the dirt to mark my territory like an animal!

E. D, but I walk closer, slowly, while keeping eye contact and piss on IT!

F. Screw this bastard! This jackal is big, but so am I! Jackal is back on the menu, monster style! I charge it! I will kill it with my torch as a club, hands and feet if it does not run!

G. F, but I use Zepaths favorite battle cry as I charge it, "ELLLLLLL!"

H. F, but I am tired, starving and ANGRY! I AM STUCK OUT HERE AND STARVING AND WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS STUPID WILDERNESS SURVIVAL BULLSHIT WHEN NO ONE ELSE IN ZEPATH HAS TO! RAAAAGHHH!!! RAAAAAAGHHH!!!! RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I am pouring all of my rage out into this overgrown furball! I HAVE LOST IT! I give into raw animal bloodlust and charge at it bare handed, all teeth and fingers! Go for the eyes Boo! Go for the eyes!

I. I try to use magical powers to charm it or scare it off.

J. I try to Vayahi Or IT! Jackal Flambé!

K. Well, too bad, I give up. You win Jackal Monster. I walk off, slowly.

L. We don't walk away, we run away.

M. They killed a goat! I call on Azzazel and tattle on them! Azzazel will totally kick this mangy bastards rear end for eating a goat and maybe feed me!

M. I throw rocks at it to scare it off!

N. I pray to El, Asherah or one of the Ophanim to SMITE IT!!!

O. Something else! Fill in!


2. If I am going in to fight, do I have Snarls help me?
P. Yes.
Q. No.



If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

Diogines fucked around with this message at Oct 15, 2013 around 00:01

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

1 BHF with maybe a bit of N - Go batshit insane. Try and jam the torch into the eye, keep heading straight and screaming. If it turns tail and runs then don't go after it.

2 P Watch our back boy!

Nettle Soup fucked around with this message at Oct 14, 2013 around 23:59

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Cat Wings
Oct 12, 2012


GP ITS CLOBBERING TIME

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