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Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer

Raserys posted:

why is a "confused 11 year old who just watched his dad beheaded" going to spout, "Heh, maybe YOU guys are the real demons "

Probably Aspergers.

Edit:

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 15:47

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Genpei Turtle
Jul 20, 2007



Walrusmaster posted:

Act like we have an iota of social intelligence and the king will help us out. Be a smart-rear end little snot and he won't. And for those voting to burst into tears, you must have been the whiniest bunch of 11 year olds. I don't want our defining characteristic to be that we start bawling all the time.

Yes, because I'm sure most 11-year olds would be as steadfast as a rock after witnessing two men die from being impaled and a third beheaded about 10 feet from them.

I'd be willing to bet most adults would be a wreck after seeing that.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

We are trained to memorize and repeat stories. It is about the only thing we are really trained in. When we get them wrong we get beaten. This guy just beheaded our father. What do we think his response is likely to be to us getting a story wrong? In our model of things we do our best to recreate a story we have memorized. Our rebellious nature has been expressed in action, not verbally.

I continue to vote that we do our best to repeat a story or prayer that we know. If the King is a human lie detector it does not matter what language we use. Jalitha will translate and also be subject to lie detection. If he is a lie detector...

We also probably know in the back of our mind that Jorah is coming. Their is probably a Talk in the village about this. No Priest to decide for them. After some time Jorah will be in charge. Whether he decides to innovate a 'war party' where no such thing has existed, or just comes after us alone is unknown. It is possible that most villagers go the 'Will of Asherah' route, but Jorah seems to have consistently valued relationship over zeal. Following us this far into the forest might occur as a huge and heroic undertaking for him. We don't think all this, but we probably imagine that Jorah is coming. We might want to ask Jolitha about this soon, since it is likely that she is not unaware.

Hot Yellow KoolAid
Aug 17, 2012


maxhush posted:

Jorahs coming to get us - The outsiders have killed his brother; A priest of Asherah, stolen his son and taken Asherah's tooth, their most holy relic. The great hunger will guide them to us. Pagams going to go Predator on these demons from the North.

Say;

El is the king of the sky giants. He and his giants send lightning to punish evil people and monsters. My Dad shot lightning at you.



Make sure there's a long pause between the 2nd and 3rd sentences, to set up the punch line. Otherwise, it's good.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Just a thought. How many adults have said to a child 'I can tell when you're lying'. The answer is every single one of them. We're falling for one of the oldest child management tricks in the books.

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer

Outrail posted:

Just a thought. How many adults have said to a child 'I can tell when you're lying'. The answer is every single one of them. We're falling for one of the oldest child management tricks in the books.

I'm pretty sure most of those adults aren't considered god-kings, are 7' tall, and can take a lightning bolt to the chest without dying.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

To clarify my vote, I'm in support of my plan and would like the poem added on, but don't see it as necessary. I just want an explanation that isn't filled with sass; I truly don't care whether we mention the demon thing I put in there or not.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Outrail posted:

Just a thought. How many adults have said to a child 'I can tell when you're lying'. The answer is every single one of them. We're falling for one of the oldest child management tricks in the books.

Yeh, I want to test this first possible opportunity. Problem is we are not a skilled liar, so functionally it may not matter if he has supernatural truth powers or not.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Genpei Turtle posted:

Yes, because I'm sure most 11-year olds would be as steadfast as a rock after witnessing two men die from being impaled and a third beheaded about 10 feet from them.

I'd be willing to bet most adults would be a wreck after seeing that.

Yeh, I voted for temporary madness and shock before, but we might be past the real moment for that. At some point though we are likely gunna just shut down.

Ixtlilton
Mar 10, 2012

How to Draw
by Rube Goldberg



I'm going to go with maxhush.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009



Theglavwen posted:

part of its charm is the fact that we're bluntly stating our theological understanding. Its honest, it's what the guy asked for.

For what it's worth, even though i'm obviously pro-Asherah, as evidenced by the first part of my post, this is more the intent I was going for. Not trying to get us killed or anything out of spite (really?)

alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 16:48

OhYo
Apr 13, 2006



Voting for an emotion for whatever answer wins: humility and sincerity.

I'm okay with answers like these:

Rahul posted:

El is the king of the sky giants. He and his giants send lightning to punish evil people and monsters. But didn't my Dad shoot lightning at you?
[Then burst into tears]

SerSpook posted:

El is the leader of the sky-giants, king and father of them all, who rules the world. His spear is Smattas, whom thunders when he fights. Another is Maranal, who blesses Smattas with lightning and heals the sick. Labaras was a giant of the land, who founded the Big Village Baitel; his children founded other places, such as Zepath.

The giants never fight, for they all serve El. They may trick one another, but never truly engage in conflict. The world contains monsters, that El and his giants protect us from, as you have protected my mother and I on this day from the demon that had been worshiped.

When in danger, ask El to save you, and he shall.

Paradox Personified
Mar 15, 2010

SoroScrew


Rahul
Dec 10, 2004



I've gotta say dio, you've got your work cut out for you with this next update. I think this must be the messiest voting round we've had yet.
Have any of the vote counters attempted to piece together where the various options are currently standing yet?
I might have a go after I get some sleep if nobody beats me to it

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Rahul posted:

I've gotta say dio, you've got your work cut out for you with this next update. I think this must be the messiest voting round we've had yet.
Have any of the vote counters attempted to piece together where the various options are currently standing?

Looking at the spreadsheet here, right now the various non-provocative messages are winning but Maxhush has a strong plurality. No idea how he'd interpret this considering several of the votes have the same message but in different packages.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.


if king handsome over here is going to get his panties in a wad over some sass from an eleven year old, hes prob soft as hell & should be challenged immediately for his position.

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer

Here's the spreadsheet.

Honestly, I'm surprised maxhush's option got such a surge in votes right after it was suggested.

Edit: Going to try to be an impartial vote-tallier from here on~

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 16:54

Callipygian Weasel
Apr 2, 2010

by Lowtax


Diog, if I could have an extra ten or twenty votes or so so we can saythe storm that comes thing which is still awesome without being retardedly insulting that would be really great, tia

Callipygian Weasel
Apr 2, 2010

by Lowtax


Just me personally btw, nobody else can be trusted with this power

Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY

It looks like as a whole, variations on SerSpook's choice are winning, but maxhush is winning just as one option.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Canuck-Errant posted:

Here's the spreadsheet.

Honestly, I'm surprised maxhush's option got such a surge in votes right after it was suggested.

Edit: Going to try to be an impartial vote-tallier from here on~

This is a forum on a comedy website. The joke option in every poll always garners a large number of votes.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

This is a forum on a comedy website. The joke option in every poll always garners a large number of votes.

Thus (not my actual vote).

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS

Grimey Drawer

Alright, I feel this is kind of important to note:

Right now, the king doesn't know our dad is the cannibal who is now lying dead on the ground after attempting to kill him with witchcraft.

I really don't think that now is the time to inform him of that fact. Or, possibly, ever. If these people were so angered just by the suggestion of cannibalism, they won't take it well that we're the son of the priest; we'd be at their mercy, while now we have their pity and generousity as a "lost son" of their own people.

Let's not throw that away just yet.

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 17:14

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

That is a very important point, so I'm voting against mentioning our dad in any way.

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

You know, that is a good point. I'm changing my vote, after reflecting on that and the GM's warning.
Previous vote: maxhush + Disargeria
New vote: Tudhalias + Disargeria

Calm down, think, say, "El is the storm that comes", then begin the most pious rap performance the world has ever known.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions



Canuck-Errant posted:

Alright, I feel this is kind of important to note:

Right now, the king doesn't know our dad is the cannibal who is now lying dead on the ground after attempting to kill him with witchcraft.

I really don't think that now is the time to inform him of that fact. Or, possibly, ever. If these people were so angered just by the suggestion of cannibalism, they won't take it well that we're the son of the priest; we'd be at their mercy, while now we have their pity and generousity as a "lost son" of their own people.

Let's not throw that away just yet.

Ah, that's a really good point.

Changing my vote from maxhush to: "El is the storm that comes."

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009



Canuck-Errant posted:

Alright, I feel this is kind of important to note:

Right now, the king doesn't know our dad is the cannibal who is now lying dead on the ground after attempting to kill him with witchcraft.

I really don't think that now is the time to inform him of that fact. Or, possibly, ever. If these people were so angered just by the suggestion of cannibalism, they won't take it well that we're the son of the priest; we'd be at their mercy, while now we have their pity and generousity as a "lost son" of their own people.

Let's not throw that away just yet.

I think us showing up with, being near, then grabbing the tooth off him might give the game away slightly. That and it'll probably slip out when we're bawling anyway, maybe. The King seems pretty onto it anyway.

HiHo ChiRho posted:

And I'm sure going up to him and saying "My dad shot lightning at you" might give the game away a little bit more.

e: That is also a fair point.

alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 17:26

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Rahul posted:

I've gotta say dio, you've got your work cut out for you with this next update. I think this must be the messiest voting round we've had yet.
Have any of the vote counters attempted to piece together where the various options are currently standing yet?
I might have a go after I get some sleep if nobody beats me to it

I won't be home to update, I imagine for at least six hours, so we have plenty of time till the update. Counting votes which are not multiple choice is always tougher, but the first thing I will likely do is count up all of the votes as either inflamatory, or not and then look for a winner among the winning view, or combine them if there is no clear winner.

This is generally how we will handle non multiple choice votes.

Snow Job
May 24, 2006



Not Maxhush's plan.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




maxhush posted:

I think us showing up with, being near, then grabbing the tooth off him might give the game away slightly. That and it'll probably slip out when we're bawling anyway.

And I'm sure going up to him and saying "My dad shot lightning at you" might give the game away a little bit more.

I think it's a funny option, but I don't think it's something in character for us to do.

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010



Canuck-Errant posted:

Here's the spreadsheet.

Honestly, I'm surprised maxhush's option got such a surge in votes right after it was suggested.

Edit: Going to try to be an impartial vote-tallier from here on~

Thanks for the help! My work week is looking all kinds of hectic so counting has been tough.

I went into plan sassafras knowing bad things could happen and unless it loses all support I don't feel like changing it.

Sorry for being inconsistent with my vote counting Diog I am the worst.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Snow Job posted:

Not Maxhush's plan.

Calling it a plan is pretty generous.

Bistromatic
Oct 3, 2004

And turn the inner eye
To see its path...


Gonna cast a vote for don't upset the buff king.

Clockwork Gadget
Oct 30, 2008

tick tock


My vote's not on the spreadsheet for whatever reason. I'm changing it to not maxhush, though.

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

Power Gamer for Hire


Not Maxhush

Beef-Stew
Feb 1, 2005
mmmmmmm... Beefy

Throwing in a vote for plan maxhush. I definitely see this ending with us happily back in fishgod's loving embrace. He will reward our loyalty.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Raserys posted:

Cool paraphrasing.

Yeah, I thought so. Maybe you disagree? I think it's pretty accurate to say we've had one group saying pretty consistently that we ought to flip off, run away from, shirk, and otherwise piss off the major authority and tough guy that we've known our whole life, because he was a bag of dicks, and now we have another group adamantly suggesting that it would be stupid to flip off, sass, or otherwise piss off the new major authority and tough guy, because he might be a bag of dicks. Pretty funny too.

quote:

Didn't exactly see Dad shooting lightning bolts and taking spears to the chest then, did we? And it was pretty clear who won that fight anyway.

We've already decided that he's descended from the El or the sky giants. Implying that he's a monster would be a grave insult to El, since that in turn would be implying that El is a demon on the level of what they think of Asherah.

I'm saying that "plan Sassmouth" is stupid, because why is a "confused 11 year old who just watched his dad beheaded" going to spout, "Heh, maybe YOU guys are the real demons "

Have 'we already decided he's descended from El'? Has the kid? We might think it, as players, but has the character put those together yet, that this guy is tall, therefore he must be a Sky Giant or its kin? I doubt it. And if that scrap of evidence is enough to go by, then why dismiss the sensibility of Maxhush's plan, saying that the kid knows lightning=El, dad shot lightning, therefore...?

I think people trying to dismiss Maxhush' suggestion as a 'joke suggestion' are being rather pretentious; sure it was suggested humorously, but I don't think it was entirely spurious, nor that people are voting for it because 'haha ". People are voting for it because it's funny, yes, but also because it's blunt, honestly represents what's likely to be Og's confused and overwhelmed state, and puts the ball back in the king's court. It tells the king Og's scared, gives the king more information about our position and who we are, and tells him that, yeah, we're confused and think there's a real possibility we've just been kidnapped by demons. If he's a decent guy, he'll take the opportunity to teach us why we're wrong, and it gives him a better, and more honest, run down of what we think just happened than trying to recite some prayer book entry does. You don't have to read it as a "Hey, gently caress you, you're the real demons!!", it can easily be read as "Uh, so El shoots lightning at demons, and I just saw lightning shot at you big scary strangers, so...uh, what's up? Am I about to be eaten?"

I mean, that being said, I'm still not voting for it, as I think it's a little too bold, brash, or composed for Og at the moment, given that he's probably confused, scared, doesn't understand the language, and probably wants to find some solid ground from which to calm down. Which is why I'm sticking with my suggestion to just answer his question bluntly and simply: tell him some story that reconciles what we know of El and Asherah, since the character believes in both, as has been established. Say honestly what Jalitha has told us, that El's a powerful sky giant who protects his people, but that belief is going to bundled together with the belief that Asherah created the world and everything in it, so he must be some sort of special lieutenant or something. Again, it's honest, less dramatic, and gives the king full information on what we think, and what to expect from us, allowing him a more informed position to work from.

Then, of course, there's the idea that the King has said he can tell if we're lying. If he's telling the truth, and we go spouting off some pious belief in the exclusive greatness of El and all his glory, then he's going to know that this doesn't jive with what we actually believe, as has been established. Diogenes often takes our previous votes and decisions into consideration, remember. I think we're best off if we just tell him the blunt truth, without trying to spin it in either direction.

Actually, as long as we're on my position, I ought to point out that I don't think it's been recorded right on that spreadsheet? Just for clarity's sake.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Theglavwen posted:

Have 'we already decided he's descended from El'? Has the kid? We might think it, as players, but has the character put those together yet, that this guy is tall, therefore he must be a Sky Giant or its kin? I doubt it. And if that scrap of evidence is enough to go by, then why dismiss the sensibility of Maxhush's plan, saying that the kid knows lightning=El, dad shot lightning, therefore...?

I don't think calling a plan that the GM has said has the potential to lead to some pretty negative results is really sensible, to be honest. That's why there is a negative reaction to it more than anything; prior to that, it didn't have very many people really disliking it, they just preferred other stuff.

Also, my suggestion (minus the demon part) I'd argue is absolutely the most in character. We are eleven, we memorize stories all the time. We are shocked by these events and just want to sleep, so we just string together what we know of El and leave it at that. The poem even makes sense if we consider it a memory aid we created while swimming in the ocean rather than something devised on the spot.

SerSpook fucked around with this message at May 29, 2013 around 18:16

Crudus
Nov 14, 2006



I didn't vote for maxhush because it seemed inflammatory, but like something a kid would say since he's likely traumatized by the whole thing and doesn't realize it could be construed as offensive. However, I realize that maybe we shouldn't tip off the king that the priest was our father, he might not know or have understood that from the showdown.

So, changing my vote to memorized repetition of whatever Jalitha taught us. The poem is cool, but I don't think a kid is capable of producing that eloquence unless it was likewise presented to him that way for memorization.

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Disargeria
May 5, 2010


Canuck-Errant posted:

Here's the spreadsheet.

Honestly, I'm surprised maxhush's option got such a surge in votes right after it was suggested.

Edit: Going to try to be an impartial vote-tallier from here on~

I really like how you set this spreadsheet up

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