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Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

dyzzy posted:

aka Bad Ending Enkidel

There is no evidence in the comic or supplementary commentary that Solomon David has eaten even one person.

also I have a low-effort edit idea for today's Solomon panel

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alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Diog was/is there any famous Kings or Heroes in Ur/The Old Tales named Solomon?


Unrelated: I also tried to google the name of Uriahs father so I could do a ‘You are Uriah son of _____, and welp, Enkidels gone and done t again’ and read that David ended up banging his wife while he was away :v:

Olothreutes
Mar 31, 2007

:cheers:

Eat the hero's poop.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh

GreyjoyBastard posted:

There is no evidence in the comic or supplementary commentary that Solomon David has eaten even one person.

also I have a low-effort edit idea for today's Solomon panel

I also consider 24/7 King Sim a bad end

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


alpaca diseases posted:

Diog was/is there any famous Kings or Heroes in Ur/The Old Tales named Solomon?


Unrelated: I also tried to google the name of Uriahs father so I could do a ‘You are Uriah son of _____, and welp, Enkidels gone and done t again’ and read that David ended up banging his wife while he was away :v:

Wait David banged who's wife?

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

Crazycryodude posted:

Wait David banged who's wife?

Bible David banged the wife of Bible Uriah.

AbysmalPeptoBismol
Feb 5, 2016

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!

alpaca diseases posted:

Diog was/is there any famous Kings or Heroes in Ur/The Old Tales named Solomon?

There was and if my memory is correct he was the one that founded the Academy in Baitel.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

dyzzy posted:

I also consider 24/7 King Sim a bad end

I agree, it's given us a huge power boost but the growth has been overwhelmingly vertical. We need to branch out, learn things we wouldn't if we just sat at home, things that Ish only explains on a need-to-know basis.

unimportantguy
Dec 25, 2012

Hey, Johnny, what's a "shitpost"?
I fell behind a little while and just started catching back up what's going- oh. :stare:

I swear, this thread always goes in directions I would not have expected. I uh. I can't form a coherent vote right now. Count me out this vote cycle. Yikes.

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

unimportantguy posted:

I fell behind a little while and just started catching back up what's going- oh. :stare:

I swear, this thread always goes in directions I would not have expected. I uh. I can't form a coherent vote right now. Count me out this vote cycle. Yikes.

Heck, I'm almost completely sure this is extremely not what the "let's chill out by watching a play about us" team expected, seeing as how I'm part of that team.

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST

GreyjoyBastard posted:

Heck, I'm almost completely sure this is extremely not what the "let's chill out by watching a play about us" team expected, seeing as how I'm part of that team.

I voted for the play hoping for a low stakes view into how our story had morphed via a giant game of telephone.

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

TheCog posted:

I voted for the play hoping for a low stakes view into how our story had morphed via a giant game of telephone.

So did I! :negative:

It was a nice, harmless way to spend the rest of the day until we rescued a slave or two from the gate display and gallivanted off to go annihilate some kidnapper slavers with our muscle wizard powers.

Goatse James Bond fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Aug 18, 2018

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

TheCog posted:

I voted for the play hoping for a low stakes view into how our story had morphed via a giant game of telephone.

Likewise, but I think the shiftiness of this town in previous updates plus the actual murder of a slave has pushed me from 'this place sucks' to 'this place and any place like it are abominations and their leaders must be overthrown'.

Actually going through with that would absolutely end our life as we know it, Tudiya may literally kill us and it may end our time as Ishamel's student. It would also cause the biggest meltdown in the thread since at least July. But, it would be the right thing to do. Men shouldn't be slaves, and they shouldn't be murdered for entertainment. And I don't know how I can vote to do anything but take action.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy

super sweet best pal posted:

I agree, it's given us a huge power boost but the growth has been overwhelmingly vertical. We need to branch out, learn things we wouldn't if we just sat at home, things that Ish only explains on a need-to-know basis.

All that juicy knowledge out there for the taking. Can't lose!

Cornuto
Jun 26, 2012

For the pack!

unimportantguy posted:

I fell behind a little while and just started catching back up what's going- oh. :stare:

I swear, this thread always goes in directions I would not have expected. I uh. I can't form a coherent vote right now. Count me out this vote cycle. Yikes.

If it makes you feel better, the thread didn't even vote for this.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

:cheers:

It's overpriced piss water, but letting the great Hero's first impression be that of your generosity is clearly the best and shrewdest business maneuver.
It's an investment.

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

the_steve posted:

:cheers:

It's overpriced piss water, but letting the great Hero's first impression be that of your generosity is clearly the best and shrewdest business maneuver.
It's an investment.

Chorizan merchant bustles in and the first two things we know about him are A) he bought a bunch of beverages for the untouchable classes and B) he's producing Enkidel action figures.

It just keeps getting better for him!

other than a minor detail or two

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars


:cheers:

E: Can I still state an opinion on how things are going today?

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer


You are Karum, son of Kanesh, and nothing if not generous! When there is profit to be made.

"Ah, Hero!" you exclaim over the din of the crowd "I, Karum, son of Kanesh welcome you to Chorizo! Ah, but what would a welcome be without refreshments?
Please, allow me to serve you and your esteemed friends something better then than the second hand donkey water sold by street vendors such as Dinbah over there!"


"Ah! Git back to yer ivory tower ya posh weasel, this is my racket, and I'll have you know my donkeywater is first hand! Cruicify me outside the gates if I'm lying!"


"Now now, no need for such hostiles in front of our honoured guest, Mr. Dinbah! Please, why don't you take this silver and go down to the lower stalls and get us some real firewater, yes? Let us show The Hero how to really have a good time during his stay in our fine city!"


"You drive a hard bargain, Karum, but I'll take yer silver all the same!"

---

With Dinbah out of the way (he really is an ubiquitous sight around the poorer circles of any gathering of people) and some more potent consumables catered for, you try to get closer to the hero in order to make yourself heard.

--



The view from the stands is certainly further away from the action then what you are used too, but you see this as nothing but a temporary setback, or perhaps an opportunity to grow. If nothing else, it makes you appreciate the sheer size of your market. For one, you might have underestimated the sheer number of less fortunate that a city such as your own counts as their citizens, or at least as their citizens employees or self-automotive-furniture as the case may be. You consult your mental abacus; what is ten pieces of copper to a noble? A pittance, but one they rarely give up all the same. But what of two pieces to a commoner? Certainly a fair amount, but perhaps one that could be parted with where it to bring some manner of joy to their otherwise dreary household. Yes... mass marketing you shall call it. You'd need to consult with your carpenter of course, perhaps source a lower quality wood in bulk, but you are certain such a trade could be arranged with only a few weeks added to the total, and you might even make it cheaper if you could outsource the production to apprentices... yes, you can see it now... Of course, there is no need to burn the bridges you have already created. Higher quality goods for higher quality people after all... you could work with the carpenter you already employ to fine tune your already decent-quality Enkidolls to masterworks, to really slacken the purse-strings of the more eccentric noble collector. Ah, this was going to be a good day after all!

Now, where were you? Ah yes, the Hero!
Time to put your Shmooze on. He looks to be already engaged in lively conversation with some slave or other, but the incoming drinks will loosen their tongues and allow for you to segway yourself into the conversation. Now, what is the gameplan?

:agesilaus: "Welcome to the Beautiful City of Chorizo!"
Turn your charm up to eleven and boast about the fine accomplishments of the free men of Chorizo and the great works of your king whats-his-name, they change every two years or so, not really a stable market but what can you do? Anyway, you intend to meet the giant head-on in the battle of words.

:allears:
No need for such overt tactics, especially with such an unknown quantity such as a foreign hero. He might have all kinds of weird and strange tabooes that you could accidentally put your sandals in if you aren't careful, better have the slaves make those faux-pas for you. Take a seat nearby and wait for a better opportunity to strike.

:swoon:
So very, very large. You are in the presence of a Blooded King such as in the old tales. Even in the mid-day sun there is not so much as a bead of sweat upon his perfect brow and his beard! By Labarbas favorite goat his beard is magnificent! Perhaps you will just watch the play for a bit, maybe sketch his countenance on a scrap of parchment and get him to sign it? Now wouldn't that be something to show your grand-children!

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.


:laffo:

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




:swoon:

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010


I've made a huge mistake.

Vote: :swoon:

Regrettably, his alarmingly handsome sidekick isn't here, but we're totally into getting an autographed sketch - and while most of our mild Bloodedness goes into our brains, we obviously have a LITTLE bit of artistic ability. That's why we went with the Enkidolls, yeah?

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




also i have found a historically accurate picture of Karum, son of Kanesh

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars


:swoon:

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
:agesilaus:

Maybe it's just me, but this vote seems likeban informal guide as to how much credit Enkidel is personally given for the revolt.

"He's soooo awesome, maybe I'll sketch him"
is a vote for a fanatic with a (regionally) high blooded mind committing Enkidel to memory and potentially creating Ur's first Wanted poster.

*Assuming this matters at all*

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


:allears:

we WILL make this pitch at ANY cost

Olothreutes
Mar 31, 2007

:agesilaus:

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

:agesilaus:

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

:allears:

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
:agesilaus:

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Tsyni posted:

All that juicy knowledge out there for the taking. Can't lose!

Not if we play it smart we won't. Stick to ruins within Ur's border for now. The Ormhole was a good start, there might still be secrets in the other chambers as long as we don't bother Snakebro. That tower city we passed last time we went to Batiel might have something worth searching for in the abandoned parts. There's probably tons of places we could check if we'd just ask around everywhere we went.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

seduce Enkidel

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc
:agesilaus:

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
:allears:

BoyG
Nov 24, 2004

Have you heard the tale of the Cannibal King of Kavodel?
:agesilaus:

Boonoo
Nov 4, 2009

ASHRAKAN!
Take your Thralls and dive back into the depths! Give us the meat and GO!
Grimey Drawer
:allears:

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


:swoon:

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(

AbysmalPeptoBismol
Feb 5, 2016

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!

:allears:

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Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

*The Trio sit at their weekly card game with Ishamal, watching Enkidel through a spying portal or some bullshit.*

"He has started a slave revolt."
*Ish downs a shot of mighty wine.*

"There were no rules broken in the process."
*Ish downs another shot.*

"It appears that the revolt shall succeed through sheer numbers."
*Ish finishes the bottle.*

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