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Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012



I don't know if this has been asked yet, but is this story in the same "universe" as the last one? I believe it was mentioned that Team Flea wasn't finished yet.

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

your: belonging to a person
you're: you are
lose: opposite of win
loose: your mom

HTH

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!


You...

Live in the village of Athar.

You are a few months old and the son of Shushem, the village priest of Asherah, the Great Fish, creator of the world, bringer of tides, storms and father of the other gods. You also live with your mother, Nami and Jalitha whose exact social status is unclear to your infant mind, though she usually nurses you and is not as old as Mama, she is much lighter skinned than Mama and your father.

You all live together in a hut built of stone, mud and wood and thatched on the top with dried palm leaves. Your hut is with lots of others a few hundred feet away from the beach and surrounded by a forest of palm trees, though there are a few other sorts of trees in the forest, the palms predominate.





You are too young to know how to count, but a hundred and forty people live in Athar. You are also too young to appreciate much of the wider world and your people are scarcely aware of this fact either, but in either event, your village is far further to the south than any other nearby peoples. The extent of your peoples contact with the wider world is occasional exchanges of brides between even smaller fishing villages further south than you and virtually no contact occurs with those further north and east.

Being an infant, your memories of your earliest years are nothing more than a few misremembered flashes of images, smells and sounds.

Time passes.

Your baby teeth come in.

YOUCH!

This is painful for you and even more painful for Jalitha.

You learn to crawl.

That a boy!






Your mother and Jalitha are happy and enthusiastic. Your father is cold, distant and uncaring.


You learn to walk and to talk.


Way to go!






Your mother and Jalitha are wildly enthused about this fact. Your father does not appear to notice or to care.


You learn to control your bowels and bladder.


You the man! On a roll here!





Your mother is very happy. Jalitha is thrilled about this fact. Even your father, for once, seems slightly happy, if only because he will no longer smell your accidents, but he otherwise ignores you, as he always does.

More time passes.

Your parents are away and Jalitha is cooking over a fire pit in a corner of the hut. For some reason she does all of the cooking and most of the cleaning, not your mother. She smiles to you and smooths down your hair with one hand. She takes a stone knife in one hand and your hand in the other and walks you outside. She sits you on a rock outside of your home and tells you that she has a special treat for you. "Your hair is getting too long Sweetling and you can hardly see." Which is true, your hair is getting rather long, never having had a haircut and it is now often getting in your eyes.

You are too young to understand that your people braid their hair, never cutting it their entire lives. Does Jalitha understand this? You are now old enough to understand that Jalitha is a bit taller than other women in your village and that she is somewhat lighter skinned as well. Her eyes are blue and everyone else you know has brown eyes. She also speaks differently than other people and is much younger than mama. You do not look like her, you look like everyone else.

She may be different but she lives with you and mama and your father and in your young mind has a place somewhere between big sister, beloved aunt or maybe even second mother. She always has time for you, even when mama does not and your father, who never does.

"You are a BIG boy now, aren't you?" she says as you sit on the rock outside your home. You nod enthusiastically. You ARE a big boy! "Are you ready for a special surprise?" You nod again, eager for your surprise.

"We are going to make your hair nice and neat and then we'll make you some seaweed cakes, won't that be nice?"

Seaweed cakes! Your favorite! Those take lots of time to make and you don't get them often! You nod again, this time much more enthusiastically. Seaweed cakes, oh boy!





She takes the stone knife and begins to cut your hair. You are not afraid. You know she would NEVER hurt you and oh boy, seaweed cakes! She starts to sing strange words as she cuts your hair, they don't sound like words anyone speaks but her song is very pretty.

Suddenly someone pulls her back, the knife slices the top of your scalp as she is yanked, giving you a small cut and one which won't cause any permanent harm, but, to a four year old, it may as well be losing a limb.

OUCH!

Blood trickles slowly down to your face as you watch your father beat Jalitha, roaring with anger at her.

"SEA WITCH!" Wam. "You defiled my son!" Wam. "Have you lost your senses!?!" Wam.

"Master!" Jalitha cries out "I am sorry!" Wam. Sob. Shriek. Whail. "Forgive me Master!"

Wam. "EL!" Jalitha screams and then other words you do not understand. She is bleeding far worse than you.

Wam."Your demons will not save you WITCH! If you ever touch my son's hair again I shall finish what Asherah began and feed you to him upon the moon!"

Blood is trickling down your face and Jalitha is hurt badly as your father beats her. Other people are looking out from their homes now, fear in their eyes, but they do nothing.

Jalitha told you that you are a big boy now, so you...

OPTION A. Fall over on your side and scream hysterically because you are in pain!

OPTION B. Fall over on your side and scream hysterically because Jalitha is in pain!

OPTION C Try to pull your father off her!

OPTION D Scream at your father to stop!

OPTION E Try to pull Jalitha away!

OPTION F Yell loudly that YOU are sorry for whatever YOU did!

OPTION G Run and get mama! She should be in your cousins home, making beads.

OPTION H Run and get Uncle Jorah! He is is your youngest uncle but he is big and the strongest man in the village! Sometimes he argues with your father! Uncle Jorah can stop him!

OPTION I Scream that Jalitha is a witch because you are afraid you are in trouble!



If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

Diogines fucked around with this message at May 21, 2013 around 22:42

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


H Jorah Help!

Eryxias
Feb 17, 2011

Stay low.


I want to meet new people, H for Jorah to help

gnarl
Jul 28, 2010


Soiled Meat

H. Anyone who doesn't like the cold and uncaring father is ok in my book.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

H

Cantorsdust
Aug 9, 2008

Infinitely many points, but zero length.

Top Cop

H

Hot Dog Day #82
Jul 5, 2003



Soiled Meat

D

I don't know whats going on but daddy shouldn't be raising his hands at anybody! It is super scary!!

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

your: belonging to a person
you're: you are
lose: opposite of win
loose: your mom

HTH

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!


Diogines posted:

I'd like to thank ADarkerPorpoise for buying this banner ad, I just did too.

So, thanks! Your the Porpoise! Anyone else who wants to join in is more than welcome to do so!

I am working on tonight's update, it should go up in less than an hour.

And I'd like to thank Cantordust, our Marxist friend, upholding Soviet values even after the apocalypse! Who also just went in for a month long, 4x ad!

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer

H! Go get uncle.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!


A mixture of C and D perhaps. But mostly D.

Walrusmaster
Sep 21, 2009


H

Faclon
Aug 24, 2009


Voting for option H

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

How far away IS our uncle's hut?
If it's close enough that we can reasonably get there and back before dad is done beating the poo poo out of Jalitha, then I vote H

Otherwise, I vote C

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

your: belonging to a person
you're: you are
lose: opposite of win
loose: your mom

HTH

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!


the_steve posted:

How far away IS our uncle's hut?
If it's close enough that we can reasonably get there and back before dad is done beating the poo poo out of Jalitha, then I vote H

It is a short run. It is tough to tell, as a four year old, if he intends to beat her to death or not.

Phearson
Aug 15, 2006

Have you seen my pants?

We can't just expect other people to fix things for us if we're destined for any kind of greatness! D

OhYo
Apr 13, 2006



F
There is no time. Diffuse the situation now by stepping up to Shushem. Blameless as we think we are right now, humility will melt our father's heart.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer

Phearson posted:

We can't just expect other people to fix things for us if we're destined for any kind of greatness! D

No way man you gotta know when to delegate. We have limitations because we are small and weak.

OhYo
Apr 13, 2006



100 HOGS AGREE posted:

No way man you gotta know when to delegate. We have limitations because we are small and weak.
The word of a child is more powerful than you might think. Think Frodo at the Council of Elrond. Melting Shushem's heart will take time and we'd better set it on the right track.

Spartehcus
Sep 18, 2007
I'm Spartehcus!

H

Uncle!!!!

Phearson
Aug 15, 2006

Have you seen my pants?

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

No way man you gotta know when to delegate. We have limitations because we are small and weak.

Based on the example set by our father, the village leader, what's to say our uncle won't just start beating us for being a sympathizer! Just because he argues with dear old dad from time to time doesn't mean he's wholly opposed to the village's way of handling conflict. Maybe he got big and strong by beating more women and children than anyone else in the village!

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

Money And Power Through Homicide!



option C She didn't do anything wrong!

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

H. The only way to stop violence is more violence.

Mr Apollo
Jan 1, 2013


OPTION H

Crying won't help anyone, our father ignores us on a good day, we aren't large enough to physically stop the fight, and our mother probably won't stop it. That leaves our hope on Jorah.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions



Jumping on the H train!

We're too small to take this one on by ourselves...let's let Uncle step in!


EDIT: Actually, I take it back. H will probably just inflame Dad more and keep him from backing down as a matter of machismo principal. C may not be effective, but he may respect us more for it at least and pause. C, and if that looks like it won't win, then D.

FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at May 22, 2013 around 01:36

Mad Wack
Mar 27, 2008

aesthetic



Pillbug

A - young child hysterics!

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

Help I can't get up I'm Gay


H! Dad is a jerk

GoneWithTheTornado
Mar 27, 2013


H Daddy probably does not give a gently caress what we say, so let's find a big person to deal with him.

I just hope there won't be a plot twist where we find out Jalitha really is some kind sea witch who want's to eat us.
changed my vote.

GoneWithTheTornado fucked around with this message at May 22, 2013 around 00:10

Hot Dog Day #82
Jul 5, 2003



Soiled Meat

What is our uncle going to do, really? Stop his brother, the high priest? We live in an isolated village and right now all your uncle will know is that a foreigner (who worships a foreign god) was holding a knife to his nephew's head and that his brother stopped her before anything bad happened. He is probably more likely to join in than stop whatever is happening.

Also, Jalitha is likely a slave - which is why she was doing the cooking while mom was free to do... whatever it is that mom does. I'd imagine that dad would have free reign to beat a slave, which our uncle probably would know too.

Hot Dog Day #82 fucked around with this message at May 22, 2013 around 00:16

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

GoneWithTheTornado posted:

H Daddy probably does not give a gently caress what we say, so let's find a big person to deal with him.

I just hope there won't be a plot twist where we find out Jalitha really is some kind sea witch who want's to eat us.

She was obviously trying to sacrifice our hair to her demon god

I ride bikes all day
Sep 10, 2007


I shitposted in the same thread for 2 years and all I got was this red text av. Ask me about my autism!



College Slice

C, but let's go for an attack on the family jewels instead of just pulling him off. That way he knows who's boss, and we spare ourselves the complication of siblings who will lust for our power when we become king of the world.

Also, actions as a youth will no doubt help dictate who we are as we grow up. Let's not turn into the sissy who runs for teacher at the first sign of trouble.

I ride bikes all day fucked around with this message at May 21, 2013 around 23:48

Razage
Nov 12, 2007

I'm sorry,
I can't hear you over the sound of how HIP I am.


H Gotta go get uncle 'cause we're scared, and frankly, it's just hair. Can't wait until dad has to deal with a real problem.

Hobolicious
Oct 7, 2012

The military might of a country represents its national strength. Only when it builds up its military might in every way can it develop into a thriving country.


Changing my vote to F

Hobolicious fucked around with this message at May 22, 2013 around 15:31

Snow Job
May 24, 2006



D; personal opinion is that we cannot stop this, and drastic actions should be avoided.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008
I like bread



Grimey Drawer

Option H

Let's be honest, we're a stupid mortal child and we need an adult who is hopefully not an rear end in a top hat. If our uncle also decides to be an rear end in a top hat then welp.
Even if she's in the wrong, at least we can ensure the decision taken is more rational than our single-minded father's mind in a state of anger would take.

OrangeOrbit
Apr 27, 2008


Fun Shoe

Maybe we should get on ours Dad's good side? I !

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

If there's anything that will divert his attention right now, D is our best bet. And also D for Denziroh.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.


Diogines posted:

It is a short run. It is tough to tell, as a four year old, if he intends to beat her to death or not.
Not to mention, as a four year old we probably don't really have a very detailed understanding of the concept of death in the first place. But it is loud and dad is angry and our uncle is the only one who dad listens to, so H is a rational move from the perspective of a child.

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010



I We need to make Daddy love us, Also highly doubt that our language fluent slave girl hasn't noticed that everyone in the village has massively long braids and is getting up to heathen shenanigans. For all we know she's spiritually scarred us for life, pops has already stated we're defiled.

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SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

A Darker Porpoise posted:

I We need to make Daddy love us, Also highly doubt that our language fluent slave girl hasn't noticed that everyone in the village has massively long braids and is getting up to heathen shenanigans. For all we know she's spiritually scarred us for life, pops has already stated we're defiled.

I'd actually suggest that people seriously consider this as an actual possibility. We don't know poo poo about this world really, and I highly doubt our caretaker hasn't noticed the hair thing when we did at four years old. Or that she didn't receive some instruction in this.

Obviously beating her isn't a proper response, but it is entirely possible she had ulterior motives when it came to cutting our hair. Our uncle is capable of restraining our father to get proper answers regarding the hair-cut, whereas no one else suggested can do so if necessary. Our mother might be able to restrain him too, but uncle is the strongest man in the village.

We are four years old and cannot hope to physically restrain an adult man. If we manage it, it will purely be because El or the god our people worship empowered us to do so.

SerSpook fucked around with this message at May 22, 2013 around 00:05

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